Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Jul 1, 2009 23:47:51 GMT -5
Hey everyone, Kanyon here with my very first edition of my very own Elite 8 because that Jew that converted to Bradshawism gave it up due to one of the commandments of his new religion to be lazy as hell! Well anyway, it's only fitting that the X*Crown champion and best damn wrestler in the world come on and rank the roster to try to figure out who could possibly try to be in my league. (Also, screw previous ranks, I'm not your helper monkey, go through the archives!)
#8
GQ Money
Somehow, the kid is actually learning from me. Though he stole my commissioner job, we'll turn Mongo around sooner or later. Man this picture makes him look gay.
#7
Rage
I have to admit, this bald headed loser has somehow managed to get back in the spotlight again. And he tried hard against the other bald headed loser, but his dumb cousin gets in the way again.
#6
Harold Campbell
I don't like him, I've never liked him, and I easily beat him. But for a ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag, this bastard still hits hard. I'll give him props for how he tricked his way into a title shot.
#5
Sexy Jason
Here we see Jason with his sexiest fans. Ew. Anyway, the kid went toe-to-toe with Reeshi one night, and gets screwed out of a win the next by a drunk. But he put in a lot of effort. One day years from now, he might just be half as good as me.
#4
MGK
The guy was the runner up in the End of Days tournament. Good job. At least you only got runner up so I don't have to wrestle you again. I don't know how many times I can beat you man.
#3
Gravedigger
The NM champ, and far less interesting champ, makes it up on my list because he at least has a belt, and he gave Rage a good pounding. Rage sucks, just want to make that clear. But only slightly more than Gravedigger.
#2
"The Baddest Dog in the Yard" Reeshi
Man he looks fat. Here he is, your winner of the End of Days tournament. The only reason he's up this high is because he won it and he's challenging the best damn wrestler alive today. Which is fitting because Reeshi may be the best damn nearly dead wrestler today.
#1
"The MVP of XHF" Kanyon
What? You say why am I number 1? Well, I beat Harold. And I stole the show. And nobody is betta than Kanyon! That's why! Don't like it? Too bad, its the truth. I prove it every day. That's all this week, tune in again, maybe, if the 21 time world champ wants to grace you with his presence again.
#8
GQ Money
Somehow, the kid is actually learning from me. Though he stole my commissioner job, we'll turn Mongo around sooner or later. Man this picture makes him look gay.
#7
Rage
I have to admit, this bald headed loser has somehow managed to get back in the spotlight again. And he tried hard against the other bald headed loser, but his dumb cousin gets in the way again.
#6
Harold Campbell
I don't like him, I've never liked him, and I easily beat him. But for a ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag, this bastard still hits hard. I'll give him props for how he tricked his way into a title shot.
#5
Sexy Jason
Here we see Jason with his sexiest fans. Ew. Anyway, the kid went toe-to-toe with Reeshi one night, and gets screwed out of a win the next by a drunk. But he put in a lot of effort. One day years from now, he might just be half as good as me.
#4
MGK
The guy was the runner up in the End of Days tournament. Good job. At least you only got runner up so I don't have to wrestle you again. I don't know how many times I can beat you man.
#3
Gravedigger
The NM champ, and far less interesting champ, makes it up on my list because he at least has a belt, and he gave Rage a good pounding. Rage sucks, just want to make that clear. But only slightly more than Gravedigger.
#2
"The Baddest Dog in the Yard" Reeshi
Man he looks fat. Here he is, your winner of the End of Days tournament. The only reason he's up this high is because he won it and he's challenging the best damn wrestler alive today. Which is fitting because Reeshi may be the best damn nearly dead wrestler today.
#1
"The MVP of XHF" Kanyon
What? You say why am I number 1? Well, I beat Harold. And I stole the show. And nobody is betta than Kanyon! That's why! Don't like it? Too bad, its the truth. I prove it every day. That's all this week, tune in again, maybe, if the 21 time world champ wants to grace you with his presence again.