Battleground #27 : Mamma Said Knock You Out (Show)

[Dave D-Flipz]

*The previous match has just completed and Death Trap is approaching the gorilla position, ready to go out in front of a different collection of fans for the first time. He is glistening with water or oil or something over his abs and he puts on his entrance attire hoodie. He steps in front of the backstage camera.*

: "The anticipation … never goes away. I still get the same chills and thrills today as I did in 2002. I still feel the adrenaline and the anxiety. I live for this shit right here."

*The unfamiliar crowd still begins to chant Death Trap’s name despite being an outsider. They respect the achievements, they respect the skills, … they want to see Zoran’s head on a platter.*

: "There is no good substitute for this feeling. Some men crumble under the anxiety, some men block it out and just march forward. But me? I inhale the atmosphere, I breathe in the life of the crowd. I am empowered by the sound of the roaring crowd and the cheers of the fans. I take enjoyment in being able to provide entertainment to these people. A little snippet away from the harsh reality we live in. I am their get out of reality free card. For fifteen, twenty minutes these people know they will be front and center for the most amazing show put to mat and canvas. Between those ropes I am the gift that keeps on giving. There is no such thing as a bad Death Trap match, fans ALWAYS come away happy, smiling, excited, fulfilled."

*He looks into the camera and smiles*

: "And it doesn’t matter where on the card we fall Zoran … DT is still bringing the show to you. We will be the ones they talk about, we will be the ones they remember, WE will be the ones written in the history books. Because they don’t call me the main attraction for nothing. I will draw a worthwile, exciting, thrilling, move a minute match out of you yet. And then I will give the fans what they really want … you … tapping out withyou’re your might … to escape the punishment. And then the cheers will rain down. A certain bit of sadistic and satisfying schadenfreude at your expense. But then that’s a term and feeling I’m sure you understand and respect."

*He peeks through the curtain to get an idea of the crowd. Taking it all in, smelling the scents of the arena, hearing the constant buzz of the crowd. He closes his eyes and just soaks it all in*

: "I gotta say it kinda sucks being the vicarious link for them in this instance. I would love to be able to soak in that same feeling watching you get beaten at your own sick game. But delivering the punishment will have to suffice for now. I’m sure at Call to Arms I will be able to take it all in and watch you get maimed … and then maybe in the finals do it all again. But tonight, it’s just you and me, giving these fans the vicarious thrills of watching me bend you backwards and forwards and side to side, testing how durable those old bones of yours are. It’s just der kommissar in a prison of his own creating, as part of the Main Attraction. And I’ll be damned if you ruin that for me. These fans have a certain expectation tonight. They expect to see their antagonist put in a litany of cruel submission holds. They crave the thrill of watching me you’re your teeth down your throat. They desire nothing more than your blood and while I can’t promise them a savage beatdown with blood … I can promise them that you will be face up staring at the lights and that next show they will get the Main Attraction they truly need to see. Anthony Caffrey … victory pending … defending the X*Crown championship against the best damn technical wrestler in the world, Death Trap."

*He leans back into the gorilla area*

: "I want you to know Zoran, dear ol’ papá, that this is not personal. Or I want you to believe that. Because it is … mildly personal. I mean I took the match originally because I wanted to get you back. You took advantage of a situation at Supremacy to come away with a title I desperately needed at the time to prove my worth … to myself. And then you put me in the position to be blind-sided by that oaf Caffrey. But then I thought about it and really … would I have done any differently in your situation? Not at Supremacy, no. I’d have thrown all three of you down and pinned the weak link Maverick just the same. And while I probably wouldn’t have had a legion of clowns attack the ring, a robotic assassin enter the fray, or use a KNIFE in a fucking wrestling match … in terms of MY elimination from the rumble … I can’t really fault you or Caffrey for wanting the best man still standing in the ring to be … not in the ring."

*He puts his hand to his chin in deep thought*

: "And really the playful banter you provide me with is actually quite amusing … angry messages from my actual parents aside … they really don’t like you. Oh and my dad was PISSED about that last promo, seems some people missed the playful mirth in my tone and the symbolism in my voice. Thankfully at 40 years old, the timeline for child protective services checking in on them about me is LONG gone."

*He peeks back out at the crowd awaiting his cue to hit the stage and step into the spotlight.*

: "So by the time the match hit the card … I was over the personal feelings for you. Really I was now looking at this as more of a showcase for the MCCW and their top competitors. Between Call to Arms and me here at Battleground I was hoping to put us in the spotlight and make everyone see what they have been missing! Sidenote please watch us every Wednesday for Voltage and Thursday for Ignition right here on the XHF Network."

*He leans back in and winks at the camera*

: "But lo and behold … your desire to main event and be at the top of your own show led you to putting a title shot on the line. And this went from shameless self-promotion … to a very serious match for me. Suddenly I was not just out to put on a show for your fans to show them what they’ve been missing, but to earn ANOTHER match here in SWAT to further improve the number of eyes on MCCW, and of course to take my title away from Caffrey. I’m not gonna lie, it turned my excitement up to eleven. Suddenly this once again became about the feeling of schadenfreude I would be providing the fans of SWAT and the enemies of one, Zoran Sainovic."

*He throws his hood over his head as the lights begin to move around the arena signaling the time is near for him to emerge on stage*

: "See der kommissar … done fucked up. You don’t just dangle a carrot in front of Death Trap and expect him to play party to your whims. No no my dear comrade … DT doesn’t play games with title shots. So now you have got me amped up, locked and loaded, and in prime main event mode. Suddenly this became less of a showcase and more of a must win. And I will not disappoint the good people of SWAT. They have kindly opened their doors to me and let me kick their boss’s ass for a shot at the top title in the whole Network … at the risk of losing it from their own arms … just to see you put down. Unless they really have faith in Caffrey and let’s be honest … do we REALLY have that much faith in your faux emperor?"

*He shakes his head*

: "And so I repay the people of SWAT with this dose of schadenfreude. I step into their domain, hear their cheers and adoration, and put down the gimpy old man standing in my way. Oh don’t think I’ve forgotten Zoran … I know you claim to be a technician and submissionist as well but we all KNOW the real attribute you excel at is twisting the playing field in your favor. But I’m ready for your games. I am ready for someone to interfere on your behalf and I’ll put them down just the same. I’m ready for a possibly crooked ref, a doppelganger in disguise in the ring, what have you. It won’t work on me. See I’m a student of the game and my endurance and ring awareness make me a monster for people like you. I will not be afraid to exert myself against a fake you or an interloper because I know I have enough gas in the tank for an army of your minions while you will be running on fumes after a few short minutes. I’m ready for the weaponry and the shenanigans, hard to use them when your arms have been torqued from their sockets. I’m ready for whatever you can throw at me Zoran. Point blank … I refuse to walk out of here a loser this day. DT does NOT make a habit of disappointing his fans."

*The stage hand comes in and tells DT 2 minutes*

: "And so that time approaches. Time to take you to wrestling academy and show you how a REAL legend, a REAL submission expert, a REAL winner … handles his business. And from there … I will go into Call to Arms and bring home a chance to fight for the title for myself and four others, and then … go in and take the belt home early by overthrowing your emperor. Wrestling is too fixated on monarchies these days … kings and queens and princes and princesses and emperors … it’s time for a champion of the people. I hope you’re ready Zoran … because the Main Attraction is showing now … right here in SWAT … in this .."

*He looks at the card notes on the wall*

: "… LEGO … timebomb … coal miner’s glove? Oh what the fuck man …"

*The scene fades*

[Justin]

Kicking Brien Thomas’s head off had felt good.

Watching TJ Zousa piss himself and run away rather than standing up to Larry had been satisfying on a level that I couldn’t even describe. No matter what that stupid letter that Larry had written said, I could see things coming together for us every single time we set foot in the ring. Why he couldn’t see it, I had no idea.

What I did know was if I didn’t get him to see it, none of this was gonna last.

The problem with that?

I was having a hard time looking him in the eye.

After we got finished embarrassing The O-Z I didn’t stick around. Larry wanted to hit a Denny’s and talk wrestling while scarfing down a Moons over My Hammy. I lied and told him I had something else to do. I’m pretty sure he knew I was full of shit, what was I gonna do in Palm Springs during a quarantine anyway?

Some of the bars had reopened, but…

Meh.

It was sinking in how little I had going for myself outside of this little tag team run with Larry. I hadn’t heard from too many people from back home since I left. I’ve been pretty much balls to the wall wrestling for the last couple of months and I didn’t really have a lot of time for bullshit.

That’s what I told myself, anyway.

Truth is I didn’t know what I had. Wasn’t sure where home was.

I found myself a handle of rot gut and a shitty hotel room.

I unfolded Larry’s letter and read it again.

The phone rang, guess who it was?

I didn’t answer.

I drank straight from the bottle.

Maybe things would get better. Maybe I could shake this off.

Maybe.

[anthonycaffrey]

“My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” hits the arena speakers as the crowd launches into loud cheering for the arrival of their X-Crown Champion. Anthony Caffrey passes through the curtain and looks out over the crowd, and you can see over his facemask that the champion has a troubled look in his eyes. He seems a little less jovial than usual as he walks down to the ring, ignoring the outstretched arms as he runs a hand through his hair. He walks up the ring steps and passes through the ropes, receiving a microphone from the timekeeper once he’s in the ring. He has a black armband around his arm and waits for the cheering to die down. Eventually, it does.

ANTHONY CAFFREY
I think I should start tonight with an apology. At first, I didn’t really know who I was apologizing to-- maybe the hardworking fans because I’m not in a good mood, maybe to Callahan or Linda because my mind’s simply not on them right this second… but I think I just wanted to start with a general apology. Not only on my behalf, but I think the entire XHF. I think we as a collective have failed to address a bigger issue, something bigger than our sport, and… never something I thought about when I was just a self-centered asshat at the top of the AXW, but something I need to give voice towards.

The energy in the arena is unusual as Caffrey looks like he’s trying to find the right words to use. It’s a level of discomfort but one that he continues to speak through.

CAFFREY
But as a leader, as the face of the federation right now… I gotta speak up. I gotta be a good ally and add my voice as one screaming out that Black Lives Matter.

There is a large portion of fans that pop. Caffrey doesn’t pay them any mind.

CAFFREY
And I know. I know I’m speaking in sunny liberal California where this statement may not have as carried as much weight if we were in another part of the country. I know I have a very punchable, very white face. And I know as a cis-gendered white man, my privilege has helped lead to a LOT of things in my career, a lot of opportunities that I might not have gotten if I was born under different circumstances. More than a few people in my circle get mad when I say “privilege”, saying that I should take pride in that I worked to get where I am, and I do, but the agents and scouts that saw me, the trainers that took me under their belt under the years because I reminded them of a kid or someone else they knew---

You can hear a fan heckling from the crowd.

FAN
Stick to sports!

Caffrey immediately snaps over at the heckler.

CAFFREY
I wanted your mom to stick to blowing me last night, but we can’t all have we want!

The crowd launches into a roar of laughter as Caffrey winks at the asshole in the crowd. He continues speaking.

CAFFREY
But yeah. Black lives more than matter. It seems fucking insane to me that we’ve had to say that for years and it took the murder of George Floyd for some of you to finally fucking get that police brutality happens almost every goddamn day. Maybe that’s because the institutional racism is unfortunately so ingrained in this country, I mean it literally tracks back for centuries. This country was literally founded on a compromise that said black people were 3/5ths as valuable as white people, and then when slavery was finally abolished, we still had discriminatory Jim Crow laws all the way up to halfway through the sixties. You and I turn a blind eye to this shit because we’re white and don’t have to worry about the police protecting us. Or at least, not until this past week!

Caffrey ponders getting out his phone, but thinks against it.

CAFFREY
I wanted to show you one of the many, many videos of police brutality going on all over America at these protests these past few days, but I challenge you to go seek it out for yourself. Almost any of these videos will do. My stomach has been churning at just watching a video of the Kansas City police department -- hundreds of miles from Minneapolis, where they’re straight up arresting journalists and violating that first amendment we all hold so dearly -- watching the KC department straight up mace a woman standing on the sidewalk peacefully protesting. That’s fucked up!

Caffrey shakes his head, realizing his next point. The fans let him go, knowing he’s shooting from the hip and the heart.

CAFFREY
I didn’t know this ‘til a few days ago -- you know the tear gas that’s been used to break up protestors? That’s straight-up illegal in warfare! You’re not allowed to do that to your worst enemy, so what the FUCK does it say that it’s being used so often these days against our fellow Americans?

He puts a hand up.

CAFFREY
‘But, but--’ you say, pointing to things like looting or other crime, clearly not having watched any videos of WHITE GUYS breaking windows -- that was going to do anything positive for the movement. I know I’m not a very good corporate champion by saying this, but during the forty million ads you’re watching in between matches talking about tough times as if these brands are doing a goddamn thing to actually help anyone, get yourself informed. Go hop on Twitter. Go watch the New York Cops that drove into protestors. Posting a fucking black square on Instagram isn’ enough. Expose yourself to all of this. We wouldn’t have this great American freedom that you and I believe in if a bunch of angry pissed off people didn’t dump a million dollars worth of tea off boats hundreds of years ago. Insurance is a thing -- Target can replace all of its tick-tack bullshit, but as my boy Shannon Sharpe said, Michael Floyd can’t replace his life.

Caffrey waves goodbye to the potential Target sponsorship.

CAFFREY
I honestly thought I’d be giving a lot cleaner of a statement, maybe something that could even fit into one of these asinine social media posts, and then I’d turn and rip into Hayden Callahan for being a flaky dumbass or Lucky Linda’s choice of inspirational figures. Maybe instead of kissing that jackass Soutter’s ass so much in the hospital, she can go visit all the women she says she cares so much about--- I know of more than a few who have been shot by rubber bullets and could use a hero in times like this.

The crowd pops loud for Caffrey’s comment.

CAFFREY
I’ve already made numerous donations to the cause, and my paycheck for this X-Crown defense tonight is the next one. If you haven’t already, pick up your phone, go Google ‘bail fund’ plus your city, or hit up the NAACP, or any of the other causes out there. It’s the least you could do.

Caffrey lowers his microphone as more cheers come in. He lets the people have a moment and lets the volume in the crowd swell before he leans back into the microphone.

CAFFREY
Thank you.

Caffrey removes his glasses and uses his shirt sleeve to dab his eyes before continuing.

CAFFREY
Whew. And here I thought that fuckhead Zoran pissed me off.

He laughs a bit as he begins to calm down.

CAFFREY
Zoran, by the way… I only hope you lose tonight because man, I can’t stand Death Trap’s hat. I know he’s MCCW’s new world champ, but I still really can’t get over it. It’s such a stupid looking fucking hat. Hasn’t anyone told him? I hear he and Mistress Discipline are a thing now, which y’know, good for them… but if she truly cared about him, she’d tell him to lose that stupid ass hat. It’s not so much that he’s calling me an emperor even though I haven’t called myself one in months, or that he thinks he’s a better technical wrestler than me, or any of that other crap. I just want to elbow the guy so hard that his stupid hat flies all the way back to 1998 where it belongs.

Caffrey smacks his elbow as the crowd laughs with him.

CAFFREY
But no -- unfortunately we can’t get everything we wish for. I’m fully aware that the winner of this match between Linda, Callahan--

Caffrey mockingly looks around.

CAFFREY
Has anyone seen that guy? Is he that scared of the ass-kicking he’s going to get? Hang on, hang on, old school trick here…

He clears his throat.

CAFFREY
Marco!

A few fans shout out the answer to the call-in-response. The champion mockingly puts a hand above his eyes to seek out his challenger.

CAFFREY
Nope, not there either. Funny. For a guy who came in three months ago like he was the hottest shit in the world, it’s downright amazing how fast you got upstaged by El Combatiante as the future of SWAT.

The crowd pops for Combatiante.

CAFFREY
And man, if I had just teamed with him, we would’ve won. I wouldn’t have to worry about dodging a spear from Linda, countering a cloverleaf, or getting my knees up and avoiding the Lucky Dip. Now, I watched Call to Arms…

Caffrey shakes his head disappointingly.

CAFFREY
...and really, everyone but Combatiante and Timeless himself should have shown up tonight with their tail between their legs. We had the opportunity to show the world that SWAT truly is the #1 company in the federation, a chance to cement ourselves as the established leaders on the top of the mountain… and well, the sorry-ass effort from some most of Team SWAT left us looking like a lot like Team Caffrey/Callahan at the end of the ANZAC Cup. Tonight, Callahan’s only getting a shot because Zoran’s got a hate boner for me and I want to kick Hayden’s ass six sides of Sunday. So for the rest of you… I gotta ask one question.

He puts a finger up as he turns and addresses the locker room. He points directly up the ramp.

CAFFREY
Doesn’t it bother you that I’ve come in and climbed to the top of your company? Doesn’t it bother you that the guy everyone sticks around for wasn’t even on the roster six months ago? Doesn’t it bother you that I’ve come in and drank your milkshake? Where the hell is the pride among you bastards? Not pride for yourselves, pride for your company, pride for the people you go to work with every day. Face the facts: without me, the Crown’s back in AWF around the shoulders of Jack fucking Diamond, and no one wants to see that!

The SWAT fans boo the mere mention of boring-ass AWF/Jack Diamond holding the X-Crown again for the eightieth time. He lowers the finger.

CAFFREY
Hell, even management has allowed Death Trap to come in and compete for a shot at the ultimate prize in the XHF tonight against Zoran, instead of LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE ON THE ROSTER!

Caffrey’s getting fired up again.

CAFFREY
Tonight, tonight I want the rest of you to watch. I want you to watch me and ‘Lucky’ Linda La Fey jump into this ring and tear the roof down. Granted, that woman’s pride tonight will be her downfall, but at least she knows she can aspire to greatness. She’s got a ways to go, but at least she’s not one of the many assholes I see whisper to their friends about me when I’m in the back. She is the type of woman to stand up and stand out and even though it’s very clear to me that she doesn’t respect me the same way, that’s something all of you should learn from.

Long time Caffrey fans know he’s speaking from a place of worry, but the champion shifts his attention directly to his competitor.

CAFFREY
Linda, earlier I referenced that you should be making another trip to the hospital to help those in need instead of that windbag Paul Soutter. It doesn’t really matter to me how many dead grandmothers you draw inspiration from-- mine’s been dead for years, and even then, she wouldn’t how to deal with a formidable ass-kicker like yourself. Luckily for me, I do know how to deal with you, and that’s why I know your next hospital visit won’t be of your own volition. You’ll be spending a lot of time with Paul after I break your fucking ankle tonight.

The crowd pops for the champ. He’s firing on all cylinders.

CAFFREY
The events of this past week have rendered my mind a minefield, and everything in my brain that would be full of gameplans and counters has been replaced with angry and explosive fire. I will burn brighter and hotter than you both tonight. I will fight both of you until I have nothing left to give. I want this more, and I’m not walking out of this building without the Crown wrapped around me. Tonight, you’re going to battle a man who’s had to feel absolutely powerless about this crazy fucking world we live in. Tonight, tonight I’m going to take some of that power back-- and if the thing that brings me some peace is beating the shit out of you and Hayden to keep my pride and joy, so be it.

The pop gets even louder.

CAFFREY
And hey, Linda-- don’t feel too bad. I know you’re gonna come up short unlike that winning racehorse, but look at the bright side. At least when I break your ankle tonight, you won’t get turned into glue.

Caffrey lowers the mask to smile at the camera.

CAFFREY
Though after I get done with Callahan… well, someone should get in this ring and put him out of his misery.

Caffrey drops the microphone as the crowd roars. He leaves the ring, heading back up the ramp, ignoring the even larger section of outstretched hands as the camera cuts.

[mosler]

[Championships.]

[So many championships.]

[The camera pans across the silver, gold, platinum belts that now adorn the many trophy cases on the commissioner's wall.  When Anthony Caffrey conspired with Jack Diamond to steal the X*Crown like the unscrupulous dogs that they are, from the virtuous leader that walks like a man, Zoran Sainovic; the great thought the cases would remain an empty reminder of his one true failing.  Trusting others.]

"Of course, zey will never be ze same."

[Zooming out we find the Final Boss leaning back in a leather recliner, kicking his Italian loafers up on the edge of his desk.  Surprisingly relaxed for a man about to face the best that MCCW can throw at him, WAT's commissioner admires the hardware.]

Zoran Sainovic: In ze hours following my X*Crown robbery, I found myself winning belts - replacing zat void with championship after championship victory.  Winning over two dozen straps over ze course of an evening.  <waving at case> Ze ones you see here.  I am not going to sit here and pretend zat ze Esports title means as much as ze PCW Primetime championship... it might be worth more... but viewed as a whole?  Ze concept is very similar.  I was half planning to make ze collection my very own Z*Crown... because UNLIKE Team Fuck Mongo... I actually have Mongo's number, and know how to get under ze man's skin.

I am currently in discussions with ze SWAT championship committee about recognizing ze grandeur of my accomplishment as a real title.  Lame duck champions like Trent Jones, Rally Jackson - and ze Society members before him - guys who can't win gold, but have it handed to zem... zey have tarnished ze various Syndicate Wrestling titles to ze point where we need some new hardware.

As ze title is still being evaluated, and a few of ze belts in MY Crown you would not be qualified for - ze Z*Crown will not be defended against zat outsider trash.

[Spinning in his chair, Zoran takes in all the belts.]

Zoran Sainovic: Zey look ze same, but zey aren't.

Trap my boy.

Eve of Destruction.

Zink you have another one of zose in you?  You don't.  Zat was a one off.

Ze SHOT you got from zat?  Ze one you pissed away?  Zat will NEVER come back.

You get a new shot by beating me - unlikely, possible fluke, nah never happens.  You ever get another shot?  Congratulations.  Maybe you score a win.  Zink I'd let you get zrough a match with so little damage you could effectively challenge Caffrey?  Unlikely.  Highly unlikely.  You have a better shot at Overheated.  Beat Hyperion, suddenly I'm cheering for you again.  But trying to beat ME for a shot at Caffrey?

In zat regard our match is JUST LIKE Eve of Destruction.  It's a once in a life time chance for you, and winning or losing won't mean jack shit, because you're shot ISN'T your shot.

You won the E O D.  Massive tournament.  All of ze XHF put zeir hopes and dreams in you to beat Maverick.

You came up short.

You came up short to a guy in his second XHF match.

Let zat sink in.  Your dream of beating Maverick on ze biggest stage?  Stripped away by a nobody.  Some goon from a federation zat no one cared about, came in an upset ze <pulling an apple out of his desk> apple cart.  Ripped away an opportunity zat can never be repeated.  You can have a match with Maverick at next year's Supremacy.  It might even be one on one for ze X*Crown.  Hell, play your cards right and it might even be one on one for ze Z*Crown...

But it won't be ze same.

[Pulling a switchblade out of his stationary, Zoran starts peeling an apple.]

Zoran Sainovic: Same as me taking ze strap off Caffrey.  I could be a two time X*Crown champion... but it wouldn't be ze same as my first reign.  Acting as ambassador for a title in a federation zat didn't appreciate ze honour, for an organization zat didn't zink too highly of ze federation.  Icy politics, and I swam 'em like a champ.. like ZE champ.  Yeah, ze guys who cut zat short have a lot to answer for... me?  I was SCREWED.  You?  You are easy pickings.

[Cutting off a piece of apple, Zoran uses the knife as a fork to continue eating.]

Zoran Sainovic: Look at us.  Both going after Caffrey.  Both coming up short on Hyperion.  It's like we're cut from ze same cloth.

[Chuckling, Zoran almost cuts himself as he consumes more apple.]

Zoran Sainovic: I don't bring up our shared history to highlight our similar situations or make you feel bad, my boy.  Nor am I angling for us to have another match in MCCW... <eyes flash with an evil intelligence> a paternity suit match...

No.  I just wanted to put zis out here...

A guy in his SECOND match destroys something you've been building to for a year zrough his sheer greatness.........

AND you don't want to claim ze same genetic pool?

You disappoint me, son.

[Yeah, the Final Boss is definitely going to be doubling down on paternity claims.  Nice try DT.  As the commissioner turns back to his many titles, the camera fades to black.]

[SWAT Team]

When the camera returns to ringside, it finds the ring posts extended to support a large net looming a good twenty feet over the ring. The material is dense enough to not be seen through, but it bulges with tiny sharp corners. As the camera pans above it, there appears to be thousands of LEGO pieces. In the ring itself, two long tables have been set up in opposite corners, more LEGO – 482 pieces - neatly laid out on each table.

Jeremy Tucker : What the hell is our interim commissioner up to?

Andrew Fulton : It can’t be more degrading than his blanket fort idea...

[The house lights fade, leaving the arena in darkness.]

#SHAKE IT... like a ladder to the sun#

[Yeah Yeah Yeahs' ZERO starts to pump over the PA system.]

#Makes me feel like a madman on the run#

[The tron starts to show footage of the former world champion's recent defences. Black and white. The amount of blood loss makes it look like an old horror film, but it does the trick working the crowd up into a frenzy.]

#find me never, never far gone...#
#So get your leather, leather...#
#LEATHER ON on on on...#

[Rough hands swatting aside the curtain, the five-time SWAT Dixieland champion pushes his way out into the arena. Clenching his fists, Radu Matei starts to stalk down the aisle in sync with the music. The crowd roar their approval as the most successful champion in SWAT history, marches down to ringside. Arriving at the commentary booth, Radu raises a hand for his fans before sitting down to join Andrew and Jeremy.]

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back fans, well, this is a surprise - the Sacrificial Idol himself has joined us at the commentary booth! Radu, to what do we owe this pleasure?

Rau Matei : I have been consciously absent from interpromotional events, so this seemed like a good opportunity to get my face out there to the may XHF viewers that are tuning into SWAT for this first time with this match.

Andrew Fulton : No, seriously.

Radu Matei : Seriously? ...I wouldn’t miss watching Death Trap beat Zoran within an inch of his life for the world.

Jeremy Tucker : It is going to be a bloodbath. So viewers at home are discouraged from letting younger children watch with them. Don’t let the LEGO fool you, this is not going to be appropriate for all ages.

The camera cuts to the center of the ring where Frank Salazar is giving the tables a dirty look.

Frank Salazar : Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a <furrows brow> LEGO Time Bomb 482 piece Coal Miner’s Glove... death match... <back on track> to determine the number one contender for Anthony Caffrey’s X*Crown!

The audience is equally confused by the stipulation, but pop hard at the mention of Caffrey’s name.

Andrew Fulton : What does that even mean?

Frank Salazar: Entering first, standing at 6’3” and weighing in at 260lbs, coming to us from Seattle, Washington...

Making a special appearance from...

Master Class Championship Wrestling

Please give a WARM Syndicate Wrestling welcome to...

T H E M A I N A T T R A C T I O N

DEATH

TRAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*The haunting vocal intro for "The Hard Sell" by Coheed and Cambria hits the speakers and the lights dim and blue and gold spotlights strobe around the arena. The XtremeTron lights up with a familiar theme as it reads, "Main Attraction ... Showing Once Again" A foot shatters the screen and we cut to images from DT's matches in MCCW against the likes of Nelly Angel, Weaselpop, and Eichi Yamaguchi. The first verse sets in as the screen shows DT landing on the floor of the arena and being handed the MCCW World title.

"I'm paranoid, and sick of this world's misconception of things I did. My language poured across this wrist in a metaphoric disaster."

DT slowly walks into a red spotlight on the stage with his head down hidden under a hoodie. It's black and has his custom interlocking DT logo with an Italian flag and mariners compass on it on the back. He stands in the spotlight and slowly looks up showing off his signature bowler hat and sunglasses under the hood. The tron shows images of his victories over Alexis Grace, Duke Kosloff, Ai Moe, and Jeremiah Vastrix all split screen one per corner all in his signature 'Death Trap' Dragon Clutch finisher. It then flashes to him holding the EOD 2019 briefcase over his head

"My guess, I'm missing out the punchline, unless this hanging noose is fitted to be all mine. I stood by everything I loved, while you never understood me much..."

He flips the hood back and throws his hands up into a cross over his head before dropping them into his signature pose (the orton one, you know it.). The strobe blue and gold spotlights move faster around the arena as he soaks in the adoration of fans from two generations.

"Cuz there's only one ... of me. And too many of you, fighting over nothing. There's never enough cool for everyone and before you know it you're selling out to be in."

He unzips the hoodie and tosses it into the crowd and starts marching to the ring. He rolls into the ring and climbs the far corner and poses as gold pyro showers down from the overhead area. He leaps down and begins stretching on the ropes and waiting for his opponent.

Frank Salazar : And his o-

Salazar’s mic cuts out.

Voice : Ladies and gentlemen... ZIS is your MAIN EVENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#Don't turn around#
#UH OH#
#Der Kommissar's in town#
#uuuh-OH#
#You're in his eye and you'll know why#
#The more you live............. the faster you will die#

(After The Fire's version of "Der Kommissar" plays over the PA system, as Zoran Sainovic pushes through the backstage curtains all business.)

#Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?#

Zoran Sainovic: Fighting for ze right to challenge ze X*Crown, your BRAVE commissioner puts his life and limbs on ze line, risking his health to defend Syndicate Wrestling’s honour, nay, VIRTUE against ze heathens at our gates! Ze barbarian invader needs no introduction, he doesn’t deserve it, carrying himself with all ze class and dignity of a punk who is still in school!

[Master Class burn.]

Zoran Sainovic: While ze MAGNIFICENT ONE’s opponent stands in ze ring with NO ENTRANCE, just like ze jobber trash we all know him to be... please welcome YOUR defender! Your wall! Your protector! TOWERING at a majestic six feet, one inch... according to DT’s mother... and weighing in at a slim 220 pounds, he was born in ze wonderful nation of Serbia! Ze single greatest X*Crown champion in ze history of ze sport, and currently reigning Z*Crown champion,

Your FINAL BOSS of Bosses-

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

General jeers, which Zoran proceeds to talk over.

Zoran Sainovic <spitting as he interprets audience cheers>: WOW ZORAN! HURRAY, ZORAN IS HERE! ZORAN WILL SAVE US! ZANK GOD FOR ZORAN! ZORAN! ZORAN! ZORAN!!!

Stops dead in his tracks.

Zoran Sainovic <smiling at the crowd>: Aw, fuck off <waives them off with a smile> you’re embarrassing me.

That brought the heat. Pleased with himself, the dignified ruler of SWAT swaggers up the steel steps, before leaning through the ropes.

Zoran Sainovic: You want an X*Crown shot my boy? <sadistic smile> Zat’s fine. But if you want a piece of Caffrey, you have to grease ze wheels – and me? I want my pound of flesh. So we’re having a LEGO TIME BOMB 482 piece coal miner’s glove death match!!!!

Zoran steps through the ropes, Death Trap looks ready to pounce but wants an explanation as much as the next.

Zoran Sainovic: What is it? I’m glad you asked! Above us are a few tons of LEGO, zese are held in place by a reinforced net. C4 charges have been strategically placed inside ze LEGO DEATH TRAP, set to explode in 20 minutes. In TWENTY MINUTES zat HEAVY, SHARP, probably BURNING payload will be dropped onto ze ring. Only way to stop it, is to win ze match in TWENTY MINUTES.

There are a lot of gasps.

Jeremy Tucker : That’s completely insane.

Andrew Fulton : You think?

Zoran Sainovic : As little as I think of MCCW, Trap, we are BOTH former X*Crown champions. For our match to go under twenty minutes? ONE of us would have to have ze best match of his life, while ze other had his worst. So how do we beat ze clock?

Zoran waives a hand over the table.

Zoran Sainovic : 482. Ze pieces required to assemble a LEGO Coal Miner’s Glove! Even in LEGO form, SWAT fans know ze Coal Miner’s glove to be ze single most devastating of all foreign objects.

The crowd nod in support of this bizarre fact, sheep that they are.

Zoran Sainovic : So I zought we’d play with toys, SON. Ze only way to avoid <pointing at the ominous ceiling> a hard plastic shower is to painstakingly assemble a GLOVE! A shot or two from one of zose bad boys will end zis in short order. I hope you’re good at LEGO because it is ze only way to avoid <pointing> being maimed. I am going to LITERALLY bury you.

Death Trap looks like he’s starting to regret coming to SWAT.

Zoran Sainovic : Now, if you’ll excuse me.

DING! DING! DING!!!

Jeremy Tucker : And, um, I guess we’re off? Zoran at his table, starting to assemble the coal miner’s glove before the bell even rang! True to his word, we have twenty minutes counting down on the Tron for all to see.

Radu Matei : This is outrageous. Death Trap didn’t come here to PLAY he came here to wrestle. SWAT promised a marquee match between major XHF stars, and Zoran has once again abused his power to embarrass a fantastic athlete who was doing us a favour.

Andrew Fulton : Favour? Trap is trying to steal OUR crown!

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap not touching his 482 pieces, just looks disgusted with the whole concept. Meanwhile, Zoran has almost put a thumb together!

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Radu Matei : DEATH TRAP YANKING ZORAN AWAY FROM THAT TABLE WITH A BELLY-TO-BACK SUPLEX!

Andrew Fulton : The impact almost knocked over those tables. They would have NEVER cleaned that up.

Jeremy Tucker : Trap taking Sainovic down, and kicking away, stiff strikes to the arm of Sainovic. The commissioner tries to cover up, but Trap hooking the arm and taking the older man over with an arm drag! Sainovic lands awkwardly, and Trap lands a knee to the back, before working over the arm again.

Radu Matei : Trap has been waiting to settle the score with Zoran ever since the MCCW ace cashed in his EOD shot – only for Zoran to STEAL the belt with his infuriating politics. As he continues to work that arm, I know he would love to spend all night kicking the crap out of Zoran, but he ONLY NEEDS twenty minutes.

Andrew Fulton : I don’t know, Sainovic is usually pretty accurate about these things. He has people.

Radu Matei : Zoran with a low blow! Trying to roll away, but he can’t shake the MCCW star.

Jeremy Tucker : The whole SWAT audience is firmly behind Death Trap. I’m not sure that will be the case when if he challenges Caffrey, in fact I’m sure it won’t be, but for now Death Trap might as well be in MCCW for all the fan support. Thrust kick to the head gets a one count.

Andrew Fulton : Ingrates. This so-called hero blindsided a man almost twice his age!

Jeremy Tucker : Sainovic trying to crawl back to his table, but Death Trap mounds him for the ground and pound!

Radu Matei : Zoran’s commitment to the glove ruse is admirable, but I’m just happy to see him offer no real defence to Trap’s martial arts. Solid right hook bloodies Zoran’s nose.

Andrew Fulton : A lot of snap on those jabs. Trap now driving an elbow into Zoran’s collarbone and forcing his shoulders down for one, two – Zoran with a fistful of ropes.

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap getting off Sainovic, and – BREAKDOWN!!!! Right on the jaw! Trap with a hook of the leg-















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

















THREE!

Radu Matei : Nah, Zoran again grabbing the ropes. The old bastard doesn’t seem to have an answer for Trap’s martial arts, but it’s going to take a lot to put the monster down, and time is fleeting.

Andrew Fulton : Death Trap yanking the arm away, and pulling it into a kimura armbar! Just cranking back on that right arm!

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Jeremy Tucker : Trap shifting his weight to make sure Sainovic is out of arms reach of those ropes! The commissioner struggling to hold on! What is he up to? Reaching into his pant leg – and pulling out a needle.

Andrew Fulton : Trap would like nothing more than to make Sainovic tap.

Radu Matei : Death Trap is not alone in that desire. I hope he breaks his arm in four.

Andrew Fulton : I don't see how much longer he can keep from quitting. Is Zoran's Z*Crown on the line?

Jeremy Tucker : Sainovic is still trying to get the championship committee to acknowledge it, so right now it only represents him trying to piss off the XHF. Beyond that apparently the U-10 belt being part of it makes it impossible for him to actually defend against anyone over 10.

Radu Matei : For all the shots he took at Trap being wet behind the ears, it looks like Zoran is going to be the one crying like a baby. He'll make a good U-10 champion.

Andrew Fulton : Trap shifting his weight, making sure not to get stabbed and-

Jeremy Tucker : Zoran just stabbed his own shoulder blade, and the arm went completely limp. Pulling acupuncture on himself!

Zoran Sainovic : Haaaaaaaaargh-HA! I can keep zis up all night. Can you?

Radu Matei : Trap watching the clock. 17:54.

Andrew Fulton : They’ve already wasted two minutes.

Jeremy Tucker : Not sure if physically breaking Sainovic’s arm will yield the title shot he wants, Trap lets go. He’s heading over to the far table! Sainovic looks pleased with himself... pulling the needle out and using a handkerchief on his bloody nose.

Andrew Fulton : Both men at their respective tables finally assembling their weapons of mass destruction.

Radu Matei : For those XHF viewers new to SWAT, perhaps joining us for the first time, in Syndicate Wrestling no weapon is more feared than the dreaded coal miner’s glove. It’s like using a Piledriver in Memphis, send flowers to the widow.

Jeremy Tucker : Or Mexico. How many careers have been cut short by that cursed glove.

Radu Matei : Even if it’s LEGO, both men had better be taking this seriously.

Jeremy Tucker : It looks like Zoran already has a thumb assembled! It’s like he looked at some instructions beforehand! The diabolical bastard!

Andrew Fulton : Zoran cheating?! Now I’ve heard of everything. Why do you think he was willing to take a beating to force Trap to play with toys. Who knows how any schemes he’s cooked up for this?

Jeremy Tucker : The pressure is definitely on MCCW’s favourite son.

Andrew Fulton : Trap watching the clock, but diligently pressing on.

Jeremy Tucker : It looks like he’s put together two fingers of his own. No. Those are toes. Maybe he could make a giant boot instead?

Andrew Fulton : It’s just not the same.

Jeremy Tucker : No. No it isn’t. Keeping his cool, Trap starts rebuilding his glove. Pushing together piece after piece! Starting to really pick up the pace.

Radu Matei : The match that starting all the bad blood between the two was a LEGO death match. In the preamble to the Rumble, Trap specifically referenced the plastic pieces while dismissing Zoran’s title win. Bringing LEGO into it, forcing Trap to play with toys after months of paternity jokes – this whole match is one big head game. Zoran doesn’t care half as much about that title shot as he does about psychologically messing with Trap.

Andrew Fulton : Hang on! Radu you’re little MISTER SWAT. I understand these idiots in the audience, but are you hoping a wrestler from a RIVAL fed challenges Caffrey?!

Radu Matei : SISTER fed. I have NO DOUBT that Anthony Caffrey can successfully defend against either of these men. He’s a fantastic champion and testament to the integrity of the X*Crown, unlike Zoran. But if you’re asking me what match I’d rather see? Caffrey and Trap will tear the house down.

Andrew Fulton : Your lack of loyalty saddens me.

Jeremy Tucker : Zoran seems confident in his glove – but he still has at least 400 pieces left over! Those have to be important to structural integrity.

Andrew Fulton : ‘cause you wouldn’t want to just punch a guy with a fistful of LEGO.

Radu Matei : Not if you’re hoping to beat him in ten minutes.

Jeremy Tucker : Time is just slipping away. Zoran attaching three knuckles! The speed with which he’s pulling it together, why, its like he has a representative of the LEGO corporation feeding him instructions through an earpiece.

Andrew Fulton : ...

Jeremy Tucker : ...

Radu Matei : …

Jeremy Tucker : At least that mystery is solved.

Andrew Fulton : Zoran is clearly, cheating to –whoa.

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Radu Matei : He’s in the zone.

Jeremy Tucker : Something just CLICKED in Death Trap. Yellow to red, red to red. Black piece in the corner. Removes the pirates parrot and replaces it with a storm trooper helmet.

Andrew Fulton : Little blue thing that represents water to connect green to green. I don’t believe what I’m seeing.

Jeremy Tucker : He’s like the Good Will Hunting of LEGO!

Andrew Fulton : Red to black? How is he seeing these combinations?! Palm tree to yellow. I thought he was an idiot, but he’s an idiot savant!

Jeremy Tucker : Zoran seeing that Trap is some kind of LEGO prodigy and does NOT care for that at all. He’s dropping pieces. Connected a thumb to a wrist. What a moron.

Andrew Fulton : Our boss, Jeremy?

Jeremy Tucker : Um. I mean that could happen to anyone.

Andrew Fulton : Nice save. Still, Zoran is flustered – I think, is he? He’s throwing pieces at the audience in frustration. Sainovic is going to need those back. Cursing out his earpiece. That might slow down his progress.

Jeremy Tucker : 6:14 remaining. Meanwhile across the ring, Death Trap has a Zen like calm, confident in his abilities. At this rate he’ll be finished with plenty of time to -

Radu Matei : YES!!!

Zoran Sainovic : NOooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !










*MEGA POP*









! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !






Jeremy Tucker : DEATH TRAP HAS FINISHED!!! All 482 pieces assembled into a LEGO Coal Miner’s Glove!

Andrew Fulton : Sainovic just turned as pale as a ghost!

Radu Matei : KNOCK HIS TEETH OUT!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Sainovic knows what’s coming and he’s petrified!

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap POINTING at the horrified commissioner as the fans chant for blood. Flashbulbs going off throughout the arena as Death Trap slips on that deadly Coal Miner’s Glove!








! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !















BOOM












! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !



Andrew Fulton : WHAT THE-

Radu Matei : That miserable son of a bitch.

Jeremy Tucker : Booby trap? I don’t believe it. Death Trap’s glove was BOOBY TRAPPED! No sooner did the MCCW star assemble the glove and put it on his hand then-

Radu Matei : The damned thing exploded in his hand! I’d be surprised if it didn’t break a few bones. Smoke in the air. Trap on the ground, holding his bloody left hand close to his stomach, trying to assess the pain. He’s lucky he didn’t lose a finger. What the hell is Zoran thinking.

Andrew Fulton : Judging from the smile on his face that it’s pretty funny.

Jeremy Tucker : Zoran Sainovic reaching under his table and –

Radu Matei : OH, COME ON!

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !








*MEGA BOOS*











! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Andrew Fulton : He comes prepared.

Jeremy Tucker : Zoran Sainovic just pulled out a PREASSEMBLED LEGO Coal Miner’s Glove!

Andrew Fulton : That seems like cheating.

Radu Matei: You think?

Jeremy Tucker : Sainovic pulling his glove on. ...I was really hoping it would be a bomb, too. He forced Death Trap to get in touch with his inner child, and now he’s going to beat him like a red headed stepchild!

Andrew Fulton : Sainovic charges in with that weapon of mass coal mine destruction, but Death Trap rolls away.

Jeremy Tucker : You can tell that Trap is in blinding pain from that – well – explosion, but he knows one shot from the glove is all it will take. Barely standing, but staggering away from Zoran.

Andrew Fulton : Sainovic winds up again, but Trap rolls under.

Jeremy Tucker : Big right hand, but Trap manages to leap frog over it. Sainovic spins around, and Trap uses his good right to grab the wrist. Death Trap is desperate to pull the glove off. The two men struggling over it.

Andrew Fulton : Nope. Sainovic just used his free hand to chop Trap’s bloody left. HE FELT that!

Jeremy Tucker : Trap now trying to cover up, while Sainovic plays with him, knees and elbows into that bloody hand. Setting Trap up...

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !








Andrew Fulton : BIG COAL MINER’S GLOVE SHOT!!!!!








! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !







#CRASH#










! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !




Jeremy Tucker : Straight to the gut – and the impact sent Death Trap falling backwards into his table – which BROKE!

Andrew Fulton : Zoran raising his arms in victory, taking his sweet time to get over to Death Trap.

Radu Matei : He’s awfully proud for a cheater.

Jeremy Tucker : Placing a foot on Death Trap’s chest. The arrogance of our commissioner!



















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





























THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !










*MEGA POP*

Radu Matei : YES! Is this the same joy you experience when I do that?

Andrew Fulton : Sadly, yes.

Jeremy Tucker : The Final Boss can’t believe but Death Trap inexplicably managed to get a shoulder up! Have we ever seen that from the Coal Miner’s Glove before?

Andrew Fulton : Well it is LEGO.

Jeremy Tucker : Tell that to Death Trap’s blood covered face. What amazing stamina, what drive, what determination on the part of the MCCW star.

*MONSTER JEERS*

Andrew Fulton : Zoran just hit him with it again.

Jeremy Tucker : Is he trying to murder the man?!

Radu Matei : 4.27 on the clock. This time going for the academic pin, but the referee pointing out that Trap’s shoulder is on a piece of broken table and not flush.

Andrew Fulton : Zoran shoves the wood aside, and leans back for the pin.














ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
























THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
















! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


Jeremy Tucker : REFEREE CLAIMING A KICKOUT!!!!!!

Zoran Sainovic : COME ON REF! ARE YOU SURE ZAT WASN’T A DEATH SPASM?

Andrew Fulton : It’s not as hard as a regular coal miner’s glove! Or Death Trap is Jesus – those are the ONLY two explanations.

Jeremy Tucker : Even if he’s managed to defy the odds, Death Trap’s face still looks like hamburger.




! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !




Radu Matei : A THIRD SHOT?! This – this is disgusting. The referee should be stopping the match. Give it to Zoran, its better than a death in the ring.

*BUMP*

Andrew Fulton : Radu Matei so visibly upset by the beating that he’s left the announce position.

Jeremy Tucker : Who can blame him, after that third shot, Death Trap is just gushing blood. Zoran sees the paramedics waiting, and sadistically taking his time for the cover...

























ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



























TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






























THREE?

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Andrew Fulton : I don’t believe it!

Jeremy Tucker : Neither does Zoran! He looks absolutely furious. Pulling the LEGO Coal Miner’s Glove off his hand and claiming its defective.

Zoran Sainovic : BROKEN PIECE OF SHIT!

Andrew Fulton : Zoran kicking the glove into the audience! Dozens of fans stampeding out of the way, worried the debris will hit and kill them.

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap looks more dead than alive from Zoran’s weapon work, but he’s still able to take everything the Final Boss can throw at him.

Andrew Fulton : Zoran looking up at the clock, he still has two minutes to get this done. Reaching into his coat, what is that he’s pulling out?

Jeremy Tucker : It looks like – a detonator?

Looking back up to the net, then over to the expose Death Trap, Zoran chuckles before diving under his table. Sheltered, Zoran flips a switch. The counter jumps ahead, and then suddenly speeds up. The referee dives out of the ring.


Jeremy Tucker : That’s not fair-

10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1

A series of loud popping noises, are soon followed by the patter of plastic at first knocking into each other, but then faster, harder, as they bounce on the ring.




! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !







BOOOOOOOM








! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


Larger explosions fill the air with smoke, as the sound of crashing LEGO speeds up with the bulk of the pieces falling to the ring. Many of them are flaming, burning, or generally melted from the C4 – making the wave more shrapnel than toys.

Jeremy Tucker : Good god. How could anyone have survived that?

A hush falls over the crowd as the last of the pieces cover the ring.

No movement.

Dead silence.

Then the trickles. A few pieces fall over, as a table is pushed over. Zoran emerges out from under the safety of the table. Sharp broken pieces have actually become embedded in the wood. Maybe he used too much C4? The important thing is he doesn’t have a scratch on him.

Andrew Fulton : All his backup plans seem to be attempted murder.

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap really got under the commissioner’s skin, but this? This was too far. We need some paramedics out here now!

Andrew Fulton : Zoran demanding the referee get back into the ring, stalking over to the mass of burning LEGO where Death Trap was.

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !







Zoran Sainovic : YOU CHEATING BASTARDS!







! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !





Kicking the mass of LEGO, knocks over Radu Matei. Thousands of pieces of LEGO are burnt into the Sacrificial Idol’s back, as the SWAT Ace covers Death Trap as a human shield.

Jeremy Tucker : Matei in the ring, apparently taking the bulk of that blast for Death Trap. Gore dripping down his back.

Andrew Fulton : What the hell was that idiot thinking?

Jeremy Tucker : That Zoran purposely left Trap in a state where he couldn’t protect himself, then cheated to cause the explosion early. Trap is in SWAT as our guest, he didn’t sign up to have his career ended. Putting your body on the line for a good cause, that is what the Sacrificial Idol is all about.

Andrew Fulton : Well all he did was prolong the inevitable, as Trap is still out from those MULTIPLE coal miner shots, and Radu looks more like abstract art than a human being.

Jeremy Tucker : An enraged Zoran kicking the barely conscious Matei off of Trap. Just going to town on his Dixie rival. Matei is going to need a stretcher, because it doesn’t look like he can move his arms.

Andrew Fulton : WAIT! ZORAN BEHIND YOU!

Jeremy Tucker : DEATH TRAP PULLS ZORAN OVER WITH A SMALL PACKAGE! ZORAN SHOVED DOWN INTO THAT SHARP LEGO-















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

















THREE?

Andrew Fulton : BIG KICKOUT! Zoran up and incensed, now stomping away at Trap. Pulling a nylon rope out of his sleeve, Zoran choking Trap from behind.

Jeremy Tucker : Referee asking Trap if he submits, and Trap – rolling forwards, pulling Zoran over into the broken lego. Trap keeps rolls through to land on top.














ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!















TH-

Andrew Fulton : Shoulder up! Zoran using that rope to continue to choke Trap out, and drag the MCCW star off of him.

Jeremy Tucker : Further wrapping it around his own hands to increase the leverage. Trap desperately gasping for air, arms flailing – no – wait!

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !



Jeremy Tucker : CUT THE STRINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Andrew Fulton : DIAMOND CUTTER! BOTH MEN FALL BACK INTO THE LEGO!














ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!














TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





























THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!













! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !












DING! DING!! DING!!!








*MASSIVE POP*

Jeremy Tucker : HE DID IT! DEATH TRAP IS THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE X*CROWN!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Zoran complaining to the referee that the LEGO in the ring made it hard to kick out. YOU PUT IT THERE JERK!

Jeremy Tucker : Zoran turns his anger towards Death Trap, he’s not done yet! Zoran going for a- TRAP WITH THE MAIN ATTRACTION!!!! MAIN ATTRACTION!!! HE JUST SPIKED THE COMMISSIONER’S HEAD INTO THOSE SHARP TOYS! THERE IS A PALM TREE DIGGING INTO THE FINAL BOSSES FOREHEAD!

Andrew Fulton : Zoran is out cold! You get the feeling Trap was looking forwards to REALLY beating Sainovic up in a real wrestling match instead of this crazy stipulation?

Jeremy Tucker : I think we all were.

Andrew Fulton : Well, if its real wrestling he wants that Caffrey will bring it to him next Battleground!

Jeremy Tucker : Or Linda or Hayden.

Andrew Fulton : They know what I mean.

“DEATH TRAP!” “DEATH TRAP!” “DEATH TRAP!” “DEATH TRAP!”

“DEATH TRAP!” “DEATH TRAP!” “DEATH TRAP!” “DEATH TRAP!”

“DEATH TRAP!” “DEATH TRAP!” “DEATH TRAP!” “DEATH TRAP!”

Paramedics try to check on the seriously injured Radu Matei outside of the ring, he waves them off, trying to focus on shutting out the pain. Looking up at the ring, the SWAT and MCCW ACES exchange nods.

Jeremy Tucker : An unspoken understanding between the two fan favourites.

Andrew Fulton : Listen to these idiots chant his name? Don’t they understand Death Trap is here to take the X*Crown away from SWAT?

Jeremy Tucker : They have enough faith in Anthony Caffrey to know that the X*Crown isn’t going anywhere. Besides, no matter which sister fed the belt ends up in, it represents the best wrestling matches. ...And the best wrestling match is Caffrey taking on Trap.

In the ring, Death Trap climbs the turnbuckles, posing for the fans. Outside of the ring, Radu Matei – who is barely able to walk – shuffles over to a concussed looking Zoran Sainovic.

Radu Matei : Zoran. Just remember. You’re the commissioner. You can ORDER yourself a title match whenever you want. But you’ll never be able to EARN a shot by actually WINNING, you pathetic sack of crap.

Enraged, but also barely conscious, all Zoran can do is cough up some LEGO pieces.

Heavily bleeding, Radu Matei slowly walks to the back, while Death Trap continues to celebrate with the fans.

Jeremy Tucker : This may not have been the way he wanted it. They might have unfinished business, but tonight Death Trap proved himself the better man, the top contender, and even better at playing with LEGO. Our hats off to him.

Andrew Fulton : Do you have any idea how miserable Sainovic is going to make all of us for this loss?

Jeremy Tucker : Darks days indeed. Still, we have two big title matches to look forwards to, so we'll send it to the back as the ring crew clears the LEGO from the ring.

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Here we are fans, the first part of our co-main event! And what a show it's been so far Andy! We saw those two behemoths Satan's Disciples defeat the veteran team of La Famiglia after jumping them backstage. They might be wanting some revenge after that.

Andrew Fulton: I wouldn't go out of my way picking a fight with those giants. Then we saw Lunchbox Larry and K-JAX picking up a dominant win over The O-Z.

Jeremy Tucker: Then we saw an impressive debut by Samuel Blackstone. Suzi Spitz made her return to SWAT with an impressive victory over Kim.

Andrew Fulton: Then El Combatiente continued his impressive climb up the ranks here in SWAT with a win over the infamous Lord Dominicus.

Jeremy Tucker: Then there was that very controversial end to Timeless' match with Eddie D. Timeless scored a big win over Eddie but we'll be talking about that one for weeks. The Society of the New Breed defeated The KGB in the falls count anywhere match.

Andrew Fulton: I choose to recognize James Fierce making Marty Donovan submit, and The KGB won it. At the very least it was a bloody tie!

Jeremy Tucker: But the huge news was 110% Syberus losing the title he invented, the SWAT International belt to fellow Society member Rally Jackson thanks to Eddie D's outrageous interference.

Andrew Fulton: Interference Rally paid for.

Jeremy Tucker: Your not believing that are you? He's just trying to cause dissension in the ranks of The Society of the New Breed!

Andrew Fulton: Syberus just lost the SWAT International Championship to Rally Jackson. Believe me, there's dissension already.

Jeremy Tucker: Then Death Trap beat Zoran Sainovic to become the number one contender to XHF Champion Anthony Cafferey.

Andrew Fulton: Never cross a bloke willing to use legos as weapons, Jerry. It should be crocheted on a throw pillow.

Jeremy Tucker: But coming up is the SWAT World Heavyweight title match. It is the first title defense of "Mr. Bones" Trent Jones since he won it in March at Riot in Manchester, England in that controversial decision.

Andrew Fulton: Oh cripes, are you on this again? Jonnie Valentine lives on outside interference, it's practically his finisher. Live by the sword, die by the sword, or at least don't complain for months about it, I'm sick of it.

Jeremy Tucker: He's taking on a nearly 20 year veteran, the sadistic Psychotic Goth. The former SWAT Hardcore Champion, and Hardkore Britain Tri-Counties Champion was insulted by Trent Jones and demanded satisfaction.

Andrew Fulton: We can do that? Just demand it?

(Evil green mist bellows out of the ring entrance as a woman screams and Psychotic Goth laughing maniacally as "Welcome To Your Death" by Annihilator plays and Vampira leads Psychotic Goth to ringside in chains while holding Psychotic Goth's homemade weapon. The Palm Springs fans cheer the former territory favorite, but he ignores the ringsiders and stops at the ring for Vampira to unlock the chains and Psychotic Goth rubs his wrists hard as he climbs the ring steps)

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth looking to win the SWAT World Championship in front of the same fans in what used to be called Hardkore Hall that saw him in those brutal wars with Stan "The Tank" WIlson, Tarrasque, Stan "Space Mountain" Nicholson, and Bruno.

Andrew Fulton: None of those blokes are standing in the ring right now, he's got "Mr. Bones" himself coming down to face him. He's younger, stronger, and on the hottest streak of anyone in wrestling right now.

(Psychotic Goth enters the ring and stands in his corner. He slowly takes off his trench coat and jewelry before he lowers his head and raises his arms before throwing his head back revealing his pale handsome goth like looks looking and snarling like a demonic maniac crazed and intimidating as he is given his homemade weapon and he caresses it before placing it in his corner for Vampira to hold)

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth has said that he will pull out all the stops in this one, which is usually predicting a blood bath.

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones has done time, Jerry. Whatever fancy barbarics he's thought up for this one are no comparison to the brutal cruelty he's seen in the streets and on the inside.

Jeremy Tucker: How would you know?

Andrew Fulton: (lights cigarette) I've done a bit of time me' self for DUI when Mum wouldn't bail me out. I've seen things.

Jeremy Tucker: Such as what?

Andrew Fulton: The Mummy 2. It was playing on the tele in the corner of the drunk tank.

Frank Salazar:"The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit and is for the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship! Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Vampira! He is from The Depths of Hell; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...PSYCHOTIC GOTH!!!"

(The Palm Springs fans gives Psychotic Goth a huge roar which he ignores, snarling at the ring entrance. Then the Palm Springs Convention Center lights go out as static is heard on the screen. Then an explosion at the entrance goes off and a dark blue spot light shines on the stage as "White Trash Renegade" by Big B starts playing throughout the arena. SWAT World Heavyweight Champion Trent Jones steps out wearing black cargo pants and a White Tank top that says Mr Bones on it. Trent is wearing black MMA style gloves and he has on a black hat that says Killin It. The SWAT World Heavyweight Championship is slung over his shoulder As he walks slowly to the ring he stretches his neck and shoulders and talks shit to the very vocal Palm Springs fans trying to get their 15 seconds of fame as he make his way to the ring)

Jeremy Tucker: The SWAT World Heavyweight Champion not making many friends here.

Andrew Fulton: Who gives a rat's ass what these sun fried lizards think? That gold belt over his shoulder means everything to him, and if he has to break everyone in this arena's neck to walk out of here with it. He will.

Jeremy Tucker: Trent formed a powerful team with Eddie D, The Brothers of Anarchy and together with Anthony Caffrey they defeated Valentine, along with 110% Syberus and "The Golden God" Rally Jackson in Spain, and then got to the second round of The Anzac Cup in Melbourne.

Andrew Fulton: He was hoping to go farther than that, as we saw when he threw that bottle at the TV. Trent Jones will be looking to make a statement in his first title defense tonight.

Jeremy Tucker: Thus far he seems to be taking Psychotic Goth pretty lightly, but that could just be a mind game he is playing with him.

Frank Salazar: "And his opponent, From Wherever The Hell He Damn Well Pleases; Standing 6 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 354 pounds; He is The SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...'MR.BONES' TRENT JONES!!!"

(The Palm Springs Convention Center rocks with boos. Vampira and Frank Salazar leave the ring as referee Tommy Milligan signals for the bell)

Andrew Fulton: After weeks of insults these two circling one another cautiously.

Jeremy Tucker: Goth and Jones lock up in a collar and elbow tie-up, jockeying for position.

Andrew Fulton: Psychotic Goth grabs a side headlock. He locks together his hands and grinds that. ILLEGAL, wristbrace into Trent Jones' temple.

Jeremy Tucker: Goth takes him over into a headlock take down.

Andrew Fulton: The more powerful Trent Jones fights his way back up to his feet with Psychotic Goth hanging on to the side headlock.

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth pops his hips and takes the Champion over into another side headlock takedown. His brawling skills are well known, but what might make the difference here is his mat technique.

(Trent Jones rolls out of the ring and slaps the apron in frustration. The fans give him the business as he stalks ringside, trying to clear his head)

Andrew Fulton: Steady champ. It's early yet.

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones slides into the ring and they lock up again. This time Goth gets the better of him with a go behind and grabs a reverse waistlock.

Andrew Fulton: But this time Jones is ready for him and brings his leg up into a mule kick to the groin!

(The audience boos and Trent Jones turns around and takes Goth off his feet with a thunderous uppercut)

Andrew Fulton: Oh, Goth is seeing stars after that one.

Jeremy Tucker: The SWAT World Heavyweight Champion has taken control now. He grabs the ropes and starts kicking Goth in the ribs.

(The Palm Springs fans start jeering Trent Jones as he lands a few more kicks to the ribs. Jones pulls Goth up by the hair and irish whips him into the ropes)

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth ducks a big boot, ties up their feet, and snaps back into a russian legsweep! He floats over and covers Jones.

Referee: 1...(Trent Jones kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones rolls to his feet and tries to kick Goth in the ribs, but Psychotic Goth catches his leg and takes him over into a dragon screw leg whip.

Andrew Fulton: Psychotic Goth takes him over into kneebar.

(The audience applauds. Goth grips Jones' ankle and wrenches back on his leg putting pressure on his knee. Tommy Milligan checks in but Trent Jones shakes his head, refusing to quit)

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth grabs the other leg and steps over Trent Jones back into a texas cloverleaf.

Andrew Fulton: Goth plants his feet and cranks back on Jones' twisted legs, bending him in half!

(Trent Jones crawls over to the ropes, and hooks the bottom rope; He slides back out of the ring and the crowd boos him. Trent Jones flips them off and the jeers get louder)

]Andrew Fulton: Psychotic Goth follows him out this time, but Jones is waiting for him with a left hook.

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones suplexes Goth on the concrete floor!!

(Goth sits up, arching his back in pain as the fans boo. A chant of "Trent Jones Sucks! Trent Jones Sucks! Trent Jones Sucks!" fills the Palm Springs Convention Center)

Andrew Fulton: "Mr. Bones" Trent Jones grabs Psychotic Goth in a front facelock and drives his head into the concrete with a DDT!!

(The impact drives Psychotic Goth up to his knees with a cut on his forehead. The fans boo and Trent Jones pulls Goth up by the hair)

Jeremy Tucker: Jones hits him with a left hook that sends him over the railing into the front row of the audience!

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones steps over the railing out into the crowd. He hits him with another left hook, but Goth blocks it and clocks Jones with a right cross to the chin.

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth catches Jones between the eyes with a hard jab. He smashes Goth with another hard with another hard right that sends him into the second row.

Andrew Fulton: A bleeding Goth tries to capitalize but Trent Jones catches him in temple with an expertly timed right cross!

(Goth goes down to his knees. Trent Jones grabs him by the hair and tosses him over the railing to the ringside area)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones steps over the guardrail, but Psychotic Goth grabs him in a bearhug and rams the small of his back into the ring apron!

(Trent Jones arches his back in pain and the fans cheer. Psychotic Goth grabs the TV cables and wraps them around Jones' neck)

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth pulls back on those TV cables, strangling Jones with the wires!

Andrew Fulton: Come on, Tommy! Disqualify him! What's taking so long??

Jeremy Tucker: Milligan letting these two fight! Trent Jones backs Psychotic Goth into the steel railing!

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones backs up, measures Goth, and then charges all of his 354 pounds into a spear into the guardrail!!

(The Palm Springs crowd lets out a collective "OH!!" at the sound of Goth's body hitting the security rail. Jones rolls Goth back into the ring)

Jeremy Tucker: "Mr. Bones" Trent Jones grabs Goth from behind with a sleeper hold. This is similar to his Lights Out Mother Fer finisher, but he doesn't have the bodyscissors applied.

Andrew Fulton: Jones squeezes Goth's forehead, making it leak with blood like a faucet. Goth now down on one knee, as Jones thrashes his head from side to side, wearing down the smaller man.

(Tommy Milligan checks Psychotic Goth's arm but he keeps it up. Psychotic Goth sits out, driving the top of his head through Jones' jaw, popping the crowd)

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth drags Jones over to the corner, and then slides out of the ring. He grabs Jones' ankle and wraps it around the ringpost!

(The Palm Springs audience cheers as Trent Jones sits up, clutching his knee. Goth rams his knee into the corner post again for good measure)

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth trying to take out the wheels of the bigger man.

Andrew Fulton: Goth rolls back into the ring as Trent Jones gets back to his feet. Goth grabs him by the legs and whips him to the mat with another dragon screw.

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth applies an anklelock. He twists Jones foot as the champ tries to get to the ropes.

Andrew Fulton: Goth wraps his legs around Jones' thigh and drops down into a locked in version of the ankle lock.

(The Palm Springs fans cheer wildly as Jones reaches out for the ropes. He finally secures the bottom rope and Tommy Milligan forces Psychotic Goth to release the ankle lock)

Jeremy Tucker: The SWAT World Heavyweight Champion limps up by the ropes. Psychotic Goth grabs him with another dragon screw legwhip.

Andrew Fulton: A bleeding Psychotic Goth applies a spinning toehold and then drops down into a figure four leglock!

(Goth clamps down on Jones' ankle crossed over his knee, making him sit up in pain. Tommy Milligan checks in but Jones shakes his head, refusing to give up)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones grabs the bottom rope and Milligan forces Tommy Milligan to break the figure four.

Andrew Fulton: Psychotic Goth tries to scoop Jones up but he's too heavy. Jones grabs him in an inverted facelock, then drops down into a reverse DDT!

Referee: 1...2...(Psychotic Goth gets his shoulder up)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones starts choking Goth on the bottom rope!

(Psychotic Goth bleeds all over the bottom rope as Jones pushes the back of his head down on to it)

Jeremy Tucker: "Mr. Bones" Trent Jones grabs a bearhug on Psychotic Goth.

Andrew Fulton: Jones clasps his hands together on Goth's lower back. He's got Goth's legs at his sides, so he can completely constrict his breathing with his chest.

(Goth bleeds on Trent's shoulder as Tommy Milligan asks him if he wants to give up. Psychotic Goth pops Jones with a few punches until he escapes the bearhug)

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth smashes Jones' face into the turnbuckle! Again!

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones blocks the next one with his boot, and smashes Goth headfirst into the turnbuckle.

Jeremy Tucker: "Mr. Bones" Trent Jones now choking Psychotic Goth on the top rope! Come on!

Andrew Fulton: Tommy Milligan laying in the four count and then forcing a break.

(The Palm Springs crowd boos as Milligan pulls Jones out of the corner. Goth bleeds on the top rope. Trent Jones pushes Milligan out of the way and puts his boot on Psychotic Goth's throat in the corner)

Jeremy Tucker: The SWAT World Heavyweight Champion Trent Jones now choking Psychotic Goth with that long leg of his, as Tommy Milligan again warns him about a disqualification.

Andrew Fulton: Oi, Goth was strangling him with TV cables a minute ago!

Jeremy Tucker: Jones now pulls him into a DDT out of the corner, but Goth lifts him up in a fireman's carry and drops his face on the turnbuckle! Gothic Keep Drop!

(Jones staggers around as Goth hits him with a russian sickle out of the corner! The audience pops as Psychotic Goth tries to shake the cobwebs)

Andrew Fulton: Vampira slides in a chair! I saw that!

Jeremy Tucker: Indeed she did. Goth lifts it up over his head, but Trent Jones strikes the chair with a jump kick, smashing the chair into his face!

(The Palm Springs Convention Center boos, and the chair falls to the mat. Trent Jones pulls Goth's head into his legs and pulls him up into a piledriver)

Referee: 1...2...(Psychotic Goth kicks out)

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones applies a triangle choke. He pulls back on Goth's arm, while using those thick legs to create a vice around the former Hardkore Britain Tri-Counties Champion's neck.

Jeremy Tucker: Referee Tommy Milligan asking Goth if he wants to tap out but he isn't answering.

(Vampira tries to enter the ring so Tommy Milligan slides over to cut her off. Seizing his opportunity, Goth grabs the chair lying by Trent Jones and smashes it into the top of his head!! The crowd roars)

Andrew Fulton: What??

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth now laying into Jones with punches, opening up a cut over Jones' eye! The SWAT World Heavyweight Champion is now bleeding!

Andrew Fulton: Goth climbs to the top turnbuckle and leaps off with a flying rana but Jones catches him with a spinning powerbomb!!

(The cheers turn to jeers as a bleeding Trent Jones collapses onto Goth)

Referee: 1...2...(Psychotic Goth gets his shoulder up)

Andrew Fulton: And just like that Mr Bones is back in charge!

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones irish whips Goth and goes for a big boot, but Goth catches it and whips him over into a dragon screw. He grabs a kneebar!

Andrew Fulton: Psychotic Goth going back to the knee he was wearing down earlier. He grabs Jones' ankle and bends back on his knee, twisting it and turning it.

(Blood drips down from Jones' bald forehead onto the mat as he screams in pain. Vampira pounds on the apron for Trent Jones to tap out)

Jeremy Tucker: The SWAT World Heavyweight Champion is able to use that long height to reach out and finally grab the ropes.

Andrew Fulton: Psychotic Goth now forced to break the kneebar. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, as Jones hobbles to his feet. Goth jumps off with a superman punch!! Demon Strike!

(Trent Jones goes down like a redwood. Psychotic Goth makes the cover)

Referee: 1...2...(Trent Jones kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth irish whips Jones into the ropes. He dips down for a backdrop, but Jones grabs his arms and double underhook DDTs him!

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones lifts Goth up onto his shoulders, and drives him into the mat with a powerbomb!!

(The Palm Springs Convention Center rocks with boos. Trent Jones backs a bloody Goth into the corner and he throws three hard punches to his midsection)

Jeremy Tucker: Jones now tattoos him with a boot to the face! Jones applies another Lights Out Mother Fer sleeper, but this time wraps his legs around Goth's body.

(The audience boos loudly as Trent Jones pulls Psychotic Goth down to the mat. He clamps down on his windpipe, and thrashes around, so Goth can't regain his balance)

Jeremy Tucker: Psychotic Goth reaching out for the ropes, as Vampira makes desperate attempts to get through to him.

Andrew Fulton: His arm is going down as he's resistance to The Lights Mother Fer is beginning to fade!

(The Palm Springs crowd stomps their feet into the ground, trying to root on a bleeding Psychotic Goth as the champion squeezes tight on the mat sleeperhold)

Jeremy Tucker: Goth's arms are at their side and he seems to be out!

Andrew Fulton: Referee Tommy Milligan tests Goth's arm and it nearly drops, but Goth holds it up!

Jeremy Tucker: We might see a comeback here!

(The audience roars and Vampira celebrates. Trent Jones clamps down on the sleeper and grinds down on Goth's head and neck)

Andrew Fulton: Psychotic Goth now further worn down, and he may be out of it. Tommy Milligan checks that arm again.

Jeremy Tucker: This time it drops and Tommy Milligan signals for the bell! It's over.

(The bell rings and the Palm Springs Convention Center rocks with boos, and the bleeding Trent Jones releases The Lights Out Mother Fer. He collapses to his side and raises his arm as "White Trash Renegade" by Big B plays)

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones with a successful title defense!

Frank Salazar: "THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...'MR. BONES' TRENT JONES!!!"

(Trent Jones yanks the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship out of Tommy Milligan's hands and falls back to the mat. He holds on to the championship belt on his chest while he catches his breath)

Jeremy Tucker: This was a wild one, but big TJ was able outbrawl Goth and choke him out with the Lights Out Mother Fer. The rest of the locker room had to be watching this one as he has really taken SWAT by storm.

(Trent Jones gets to his feet and holds the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship over his head, soaking in the thunderous boos. Vampira is the ring, checking on Psychotic Goth)

Andrew Fulton: They can watch all they want but who could match up with this monster? He's big. He's bad. He's mean, and he doesn't care who he has to squash to keep that belt over his shoulder.

(Jones walks over as "White Trash Renegade" plays, balled up trash bouncing off him periodically as he smiles triumphantly. A fan in the aisleway flips him off. Jones gets to the top of the ramp, and holds up the SWAT World title on more as the heat gets louder. Then with a sneer, he turns around and walks through the curtain)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back! Coming up now, the Main Event of the evening, the X CROWN on the line! New champion Anthony Caffrey defending against his former tag team partner Hayden Callahan and Lucky Linda La Fey!

Andrew Fulton : And as we just witnessed, the winner of this match will next show be defending the Crown against MCCW’s Death Trap.

Jeremy Tucker : What a match that was, Wowee! Seeing Zoran Sainovic come up short, it warms the cockles of my heart.

Andrew Fulton : Come on Jerry, where is your SWAT pride?

Jeremy Tucker : Oh, I am all for SWAT, but Zoran, Nah_Ah.

Andrew Fulton : You fool, Zoran IS SWAT! He brought this X Crown to us, and all these others you see now clamouring for it is a direct result of that.

The arena's lights go off and the fans immediately launch into a roaring pop at the sounds of Fall Out Boy's "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" and the sight of their X-Crown Champion. Anthony Caffrey takes a few moments to stand up at the top of the ramp, looking out at those in the Caffrey Corner before heading down to the ring. He is wearing his X-Crown around his mouth for safety, and his tights read "CAFF" on the back.

Once Caffrey stops looking to the cheering fans, he locks eyes with the opposition. He does not break eye contact with tonight's opponent as he walks with a laser focus -- at least until he makes it to the ring steps. He reaches down and taps his ankle before pointing at his opponent. He then makes a simple motion to mime breaking it in half as if his opponent's ankle was a simple wishbone. The crowd join along in the motion, knowing the veteran technician has a deep list of broken ankles in his history.

Caffrey steps into the ring and moves past his opponent, handing his glasses off to the timekeeper. He looks back at his opponent and does a few last minute stretches, knowing he's in for a battle.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from The greatest city in the world -- Philadelphia, PA. Coming in at 6’4 and 223 pounds .... THE XHF X CROWN CHAMPION!! ANOTHONY CAFFREY!!!

Jeremy Tucker : The Champ looks great, I am really digging the new Caffrey.

Andrew Fulton : I preferred the old one, this new change of heart, and pandering to the fans, I don’t get it.

Jeremy Tucker : It’s not pandering, he is truly humbled that they have embraced him, you wouldn’t understand.

Andrew Fulton : Will be interesting to see who they get behind in this one, I mean, Lucky Linda is one of the most beloved SWAT fan favourites we have had here in SWAT, will they go for her in this one, or Caffrey?

Jeremy Tucker : It’s a win win for them, one they won’t be supporting is Hayden Callahan ... man, this gu ....

Andrew Fulton : (interrupting) That’s just the way he likes it. He doesn’t need anyones approval, especially Caffrey or the fans.

"Something For You" by David Rolfe begins to play through the PA System as all the lights don a golden shade as the circulate around the stage area.

DIRTY, SEXY, SLINKY THING
POWER OVER ALL WITH THE LOVE YOU BRING
SPINNING, FROM YOUR, MIND CONTROL
SHUFFLING AROUND THIS DEEP DEEP HOLE

That's when the man himself appears as he comes through the curtain, pausing at the top of the stage with a evilish smirk on his face whilst he looks out to the vast majority of fans in the building booing him. He just soaks it all in before making his way down to the ring. Hayden slides onto the ring apron and looks out to the crowd, flipping both middle fingers out to the many that boo him.

YOU ARE THE ONE
MAKES ME SCREAM AND SHOUT
I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
I CAN'T COMPETE
WHY YOU STILL HOLDING OUT
I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU!

He enters the ring through the middle ropes and stands in the middle of the ring, a singular golden spotlight shining down on Hayden as one finger is raised and his head is lowered. Hayden looks back up at the heated crowd and just smiles before heading into his corner.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from South London, England. Coming in at 5’11 and 210 pounds .... "The Bastard" HAYDEN CALLAHAN!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Callahan enters the ring and he and Caffrey stare daggers at each other. Caffrey shaking his head at Hayden in disappointment, Callahan glares at him, and then turns his back on him, like Caffrey is isn’t even there.

Andrew Fulton : Callahan trying to get in the head of Caffrey early here.

Jeremy Tucker : It won’t work, Caffrey is the master of mind games.

Linger, Cranberries hits and Lucky Linda makes her way down the ramp way, high fiving the fans.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Dublin, Ireland. Coming in at 5’5 and 130 pounds .... LUCKY LINDA LA FEY!!!

Andrew Fulton : Here she comes! Lucky Linda, she is perhaps on the biggest role of her career, and these Palm Springs fools are jumping out of their seats!

Jeremy Tucker : I don’t think I have seen a bigger reaction for someone, I mean EVER! Linda walks right up to Anthony Caffrey, chest to chest, and offers her hand in a show of respect. Caffrey looks around, milking it for the crowd, then accepts the handshake, the crowd eating it up.

Andrew Fulton : Callahan is sneering at them and their stupid hand shake, and Linda power walks over to him now, and offers her hand again. Callahan stares at her like she must be crazy, then WHAM! Lucky Linda just slapped the taste out of Hayden Callahan’s mouth! Did you hear the sound of that Jerry?

Jeremy Tucker : I think they heard it in Ireland! Callahan sells it, holding his cheek in pain, it is bright red, and his eyes are growing red in fury and he rears back to slap her back, and Caffrey blocks it! Throat thrust from Caffrey to Callahan.

Andrew Fulton : Lucky Linda lands a big chop to Callahan! The crowd Wooo. Caffrey looks at the bright red mark on Haydens chest and he reels back and plants him with a big chop of his own. The crowd Woo’ing again.

Jeremy Tucker : Lucky Linda with another chop, even louder! Callahan wincing in pain, but before he can even sell it, Caffrey delivers a second chop! They are having a Chop Off!

Andrew Fulton : Chop by Linda to Callahan.

Wooooo!

Jeremy Tucker : Chop by Caffrey to Callahan.

Wooooo!

Andrew Fulton : Chop by Linda to Callahan.

Wooooo!

Jeremy Tucker : Chop by Caffrey to Callahan.

Wooooo!

Andrew Fulton : Chop by Linda to Callahan.

Wooooo!

Jeremy Tucker : Chop by Caffrey to Callahan.

Wooooo!

Andrew Fulton : Callahan drops to the mat, and then rolls out of the ring, clutching his chest. This isn’t fair, two on one?

Jeremy Tucker : The crowd popping for the double team ... WHAM! Linda with another chop, this one now to Caffrey!

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey no sells it and returns the favour!

Jeremy Tucker : Linda no sells this chop, and hits another to Caffrey! Ouch! He winces at this one, then returns another chop this one sending Linda back a couple of steps.

Andrew Fulton : Callahan back in the ring runs up behind Caffrey and running jumping knee to the back of Caffrey, sends him tumbling into Linda, who instinctively catches him and plants him with an exploder suplex!

Jeremy Tucker : Linda thought Caffrey was running at her, she looks down at the fallen Caffrey and Callahan near takes her head off with a sling blade!

Andrew Fulton : Hayden Callahan taunts the crowd, he is revelling in this, he drags Caffrey to his feet and plants a HUGE chop on his chest! What a receipt!

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey grits his teeth in agony, and answers with a big European Uppercut.

Andrew Fulton : Callahan absorbs the uppercut, and spins around and plants Caffrey with a discuss clothesline!

Jeremy Tucker : Lucky Linda grabs Callahan and plants him with a Side Irish (Russian) leg sweep.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey grabs the leg of Callahan and drops a knee to the knee of Callahan, holding onto the leg. Linda runs and bounces off the ropes, and baseball slide drop kicks Hayden Callahan.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey moves his grip up onto the ankle of Callahan, and looks at Linda and knows it’s not time yet, and slams the ankle down onto the mat, and stomps on it.

Andrew Fulton : Linda with a standing moonsault on Callahan!

Jeremy Tucker : Beautiful move! She hooks a leg .....

One ..............

Two ............... (Caffrey breaks the count stomping the back of Linda’s head.)

Andrew Fulton : Foolish cover there, Caffrey knew it wasn’t time but she just went for it anyway, I think what Caffrey said about her pride and dismissing Caffrey may have been correct.

Jeremy Tucker : She knows Caffrey is the champ, but is so focused on Zoran that she can’t see what’s right in front of her.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey hoists Linda up and drills her with a legsweep DDT!

Jeremy Tucker : Brotherly Love! Full Nelson by Caffrey to Linda, Linda tries to counter it and walks up the ropes and Caffrey spins around and falls forward smashing the face and body of Linda into the mat, that took the breathe right out of her, and he then adjusts from the Full Nelson to a CAMEL CLUTCH!

Andrew Fulton : Linda is in big trouble here, Caffrey is a technician of the highest order, and she definitely has taken him lightly if you ask me.

Jeremy Tucker : SLEEPER HOLD! Callahan is back up and has locked Caffrey in a Sleeper! Caffrey still has the Camel Clutch on! Will Linda tap before he is put to sleep?

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey lets go of the Camel Clutch and tries to fight out of the sleeper.

Jeremy Tucker : The more he struggles, the more Callahan cinches it in and the quicker it works! Caffrey is beginning to panic! He knows the more you struggle the worse it gets, but panic is engulfing him, and he drops to a knee, starting to fade.

Andrew Fulton : Referee Vick Mackey is checking on Caffrey and he is trying to fight off the sleeper still .....

Jeremy Tucker : Dropkick by Linda sends Callahan flying over the top rope and breaks the sleeper.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey slowly getting to his feet ....

Jeremy Tucker : IRA (Yakuza) kick!!!

Andrew Fulton : Linda with a cover .....

Jeremy Tucker : One .................

Two ................. Callahan pulls Linda out of the ring under the bottom rope breaking the cover.

Andrew Fulton : Callahan slams the head of Linda into the ring apron.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey running drop kicks Callahan thru the ropes! What a move!

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey slides out of the ring, and rams the head of Callahan into the ring steps. He then grabs his ankle and slams that into the ring steps also!

Jeremy Tucker : Callahan crawling up the steps to get away and back into the ring, but Caffrey grabs him half way in ....SOFT PRETZEL LOCK!!! (figure four around the ring post.)

Andrew Fulton : Callahan floundering in agony! Linda climbs to the top rope .....

Jeremy Tucker : LUCKY DIP!!! (450 top rope splash)

Andrew Fulton : That’s Linda’s finisher! She nailed it, perfectly! Callahan is still locked in the Soft Pretzel lock, he has nowhere to go!

Jeremy Tucker : Linda with the cover .....

One!!!!!!!!!!!!!





TWO!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!

No! Caffrey released the Soft Pretzel and broke the count just in time.

Andrew Fulton : Just in time? That was three.

Jeremy Tucker : Linda asking Mackey is it was three, and he is saying only two.

Andrew Fulton : CLOSING REMARKS!!! (bullhammer elbow)

Jeremy Tucker : Wow! Caffrey just nailed Linda with the closing remarks! It’s over now. He covers, hooks the leg!

One !!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : NO! Callahan broke the count!

Jeremy Tucker : Wow! Caffrey is fuming, he stands up, grabs Callahan and locks on the PROCESS!!! (ankle lock)

Andrew Fulton : This has got to be it! Referee checking on Callahan! Asking him if he is going to submit, he looks around, trying to get to the ropes but he can’t.

Jeremy Tucker : WHAM!!!! ZORAN SAINOVIC JUST RAN DOWN TO THE RING AND REACHED OVER THE TOP ROPE AND SMASHED A BEER BOTTLE OVER THE HEAD OF CAFFREY!

Andrew Fulton : YES! Give it to him Commiss!

Jeremy Tucker : Referee Mackey is screaming at Zoran to get out of here and telling Zoran he will call the match, Zoran tells him if he does he is fired!

Andrew Fulton : Zoran sways down from the ring apron, and staggers a bit, is he drunk?

Jeremy Tucker : Could well be, drowning his sorrows after losing to Death Trap then comes out here to steal the spotlight!

Andrew Fulton : If he can’t have the X Crown, Caffrey can’t either!

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey is bleeding heavily from that shot, and he hasn’t moved, i think he is out cold. Linda looks at him prone on the mat, a puddle of blood surrounding his head, then runs to the ropes AND RUNS UP THEM AND SPINNING TROUBLE IN PARADISE KICK TO ZORAN SAINOVIC!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Stupid stupid stupid girl! She should have pinned Caffrey!

Jeremy Tucker : That’s not how she rolls.

Andrew Fulton : Linda pumps her fist in the air, the crowd cheering her on! She mounts Zoran and starts pummelling him with lefts and rights, he is groggy, and NO! He has the shattered head of the bottle still in his hand, and he swings with it, slicing the side of Linda’s abdomen!

Jeremy Tucker : He Just STABBED HER!

Andrew Fulton : Hayden Callahan crawls over to Caffrey! He is going to steal this!

Jeremy Tucker : Callahan covers Caffrey!

One .........................

Two ..........................

THRE .... CAFFREY KICKS OUT!

Andrew Fulton : Damn it!

Jeremy Tucker : Callahan can’t believe it, and he storms around the ring in a fury, he boots the bottom rope having a tantrum ..... PROCESS!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey with the Process on Hayden! (ankle lock)

Jeremy Tucker : Linda has been stabbed and is bleeding from the side, he sliced her good, Zoran is mounting her, he has lost it and is hovering the broken bottle over her face, i think he is going to slit her throat!

Andrew Fulton : It’s beyond personal with these two now!

Jeremy Tucker : CALLAHAN TAPS!!!! Hayden Callahan taps out to the Process! He retains the belt!

Andrew Fulton : Zoran is about to pull the bottle down and finish off Linda, but a hand grabs his arm from behind and stops him.

Jeremy Tucker : IT’S SOUTTER! It’s Paul Soutter! The SWAT Founder is out of his coma and he has just saved Lucky Linda!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Zoran looks like he has seen a ghost!

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey looks down at the save and what is going on out there and Mackey raises his arm in victory.

Frank Salazar WINNER OF THE MATCH AND STILL X CROWN CHAMPION .... ANTHONY CAFFREY!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Soutter rips Zoran up to his feet and they are face to face nose to nose. Soutter squeezes the wrist of Sainovic and he drops the bottle, then the two of them start swinging wildly at each other!

Jeremy Tucker : Fans, we are out of time! See you next week on Battleground #28!!!!