Battleground #28 : Whatever It Takes (Show)

[mosler]

[Fade into SWAT Headquarters.]


[The offices of Zoran Sainovic.]


[Sitting behind his desk, SWAT’s guiding light finishes his signature on a stack of paperwork sitting next to a cheque. Removing his reading glasses, tucking them into his vest pocket neck to a butterfly knife, your final boss of bosses looks up at the camera with a sinister smile.]


Zoran Sainovic: Why it sounds like Lucky Linda and Soutter seem to zink zey need to go OVER MY HEAD to resolve ze issue of her missing No Man’s Land prize. <shakes head> You zink?


Ze No Man’s Land tournament – a woman only one night tournament awarding a ridiculous prize purse for ze barest amounts of effort. Zree lousy matches against less zan stellar competition for a cool million dollars! Given how financial responsible I am, does zat INCREDIBLY stupid tournament sound like something I would authorize? Nah, zat {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} prize could only be authorized by someone OVER MY PAY GRADE. So zat particular act of idiocy belongs to Pesci or one of Soutter’s other buddies. Soutter would know better zan I who is holding up ze reissuing of Linda’s cheque.


A giant novelty cheque... torn up by ze KGB. By Joanne.


You remember, Joanne, right, Linda?


Ze BETTER Amazon. Ze one you can’t beat. Hell, with ze title finally on ze line in a zree way dance, perhaps you’ll finally pick up ze big belt. NOT by pinning Canelli – zat would be impossible, but maybe you can STEAL it from her? Entitled scum zat you are. YOU HAVE BEEN RIDING ME FOR SIX MONTHS OVER ZIS BULLSHIT. Pesci gives you money you don’t deserve, and when you can’t hang onto your first cheque, I am inexplicable stealing it? Zat is slander. And worse zan besmirching my character with suggestions of zeft? Acting like you deserved a program with ze TOP DRAW in ze federation. Who are you? Who do you think you are? What have you ever done to confirm your self-entitled posturing?


Did you actually suggest zat you WOULD BE ZE X*CROWN CHAMPION IF I HADN’T SCREWED YOU? HA! HAAA!


You don’t deserve to tie Anthony Caffrey’s shoelaces – let alone stand a chance against him in a one on one encounter. Ze whole reason for ze zree-way-dance was to make ze match competitive for him. I showed up at ze end, as I did, to get under CAFFREY’S SKIN. He was going to win zat match no matter what, but if I could annoy ze fuck out of him with ZAT finish? He starts to understand what I went through in ze XHF Rumble. Me and him. Head games. You can feel proud zat you faced ze most decorated wrestler in ze XHF and didn’t get pinned... but bragging about your stolen victory? How entitled are you? ALL you’re doing is making Caffrey look bad to ze XHF championship committee, which will not end well for SWAT. If your goal was making SWAT look bad while posturing, congratulations on a job well done, Linda. I am only pointing zis out, in case you were too dense to pick up on ze fact.


Ze woman zat would be X*Crown champion...


I was X*Crown champion – undefeated save for Caffrey’s little betrayal.


Remind me Linda, what happened when you stepped into ze ring with a REAL X*Crown champion?


OH RIGHT.


Call to Arms.


We were in the ring for exactly THREE seconds together.





ONE.




TWO.



THREE.



I pinned you in RECORD TIME.


As far as I’m concerned zat is ze END of our little story. Seems to me zat after such a dominating win on a pay per view? I really don’t have much more to PROVE TO ZE HELP. Unless you want to keep coming after me until you get LUCKY. Is zat what you want? A happy ending? Zis is wrestling. Zere will always be winners and losers, and from where I’m sitting, you are not a winner. If you were anyone else zis pathetic attempt to goad me would have been shut down some time ago, and I can’t begin to imagine what other management you have on your side to keep zis farce up. What you call luck, I call preferential treatment.


You just want your money back? Fine.


[Reaching down, Zoran picks up the freshly cut cheque.]


Zoran Sainovic: As I have said MANY TIMES, I have NOTHING to do with your No Man’s Land winnings. Nor do I understand where a company zat was verging on solvency BEFORE ze global pandemic - somehow justified paying it to you. Missing funds would come down to your best friend Sue being incompetent. When it came time to give you another one, well, SWAT had already spent zose allotted funds putting out Pesci’s MANY other fires. You’re owed ze money. You won zree whole matches. No one could deny zat. So while you’re off molesting coma victims, turning down lottery earnings, and generally making SWAT a weaker product while trying to sell us all on you not being a midcard novelty act... I did ze ACCOUNTING necessary to replace zose funds.


After his lacklustre effort in ze last X*Crown match, Hayden Callahan has been released from ze SWAT roster. We would like to wish him well in his future endeavours, which will no doubt involve selling his girlfriend for coke.


A number of our part time employees like ze Family, and legend contracts like CSK, have all been terminated. Along with ze faces zat have been put out of work, zere will be a number of other departures in ze coming weeks. A number of our top stars have experienced LENGTHY hospital stays, and are frankly liabilities in ze ring. We won’t have juvenile magic recovery storylines on a weekly bases, and do I really want to be footing ze bill ze next time one of our elder statesmen breaks zeir hip? I zink you’ll find a number of SWAT legends will no longer be with us following ze Memorial event.


Congratulations Linda.


It may have required massive layoffs, and removing ze few medical benefits zat ze boys had left... but ze SWAT kitty has been refilled.


[Rising from his desk, Zoran walks past the twenty five titles that make up the Z*Crown on his way to the office door.]


Zoran Sainovic: I have beaten you in ze ring. Our only remaining outstanding issue lies in your missing funds. <raising cheque> Here you are. It will be waiting for you, at ze accounting office.


[Crossing the waiting room, Zoran places the paperwork and cheque on his receptionist’s desk.]


Zoran Sainvoic <aside>: See zat zose all get taken to accounting. <back to camera> I hope you do more with zat money zan SWAT would. Now our business is done. I would encourage you to tell yourself zat I only beat you in zree seconds because of outside interference by ze amazing Subject 42, and focus on ze Amazon division. Make something better, instead of just acting like you are. Zis is me CONCLUDING our history... because now zat your money isn’t a factor, if you WANT a piece of me? Zat is going to cost you.


Someone like you couldn’t get me in ze ring for less a million dollars. You win that in zree matches? I’d take it in ONE.


You have two paths ahead of you right now, Linda. ZIS RIGHT HERE? Zis is ze HAPPY ENDING. Ze one where you give back to SWAT and revitalize ze Amazon division. Ze alternative is ze one where you prioritize coming at me.


I have to say, zat SCENARIO doesn’t have a feel good ending – if you know what I mean.


Just so you know where I stand.


[Doing up his blazer, Zoran Sainovic exits into the hallway, leaving the cheque behind and with it. The videographer follows after him, as Sainovic makes his way through the still skeleton crew headquarters.]


Zoran Sainovic: CALL to ARMS. I wasn’t overly impressed with how SWAT carried zemselves. Oh, El Combatiente is ze FUTURE of our company – but ze rest? Syberus can steamroll over ze competition, but you ask him to play nice for a night, and he ends up phoning it in. People are going to start zinking he’s protected here... zat extra ten percent definitely isn’t heart.


Puts me in an awkward position, because he has enough wins with ze International championship to warrant a world title shot. ...But after ze way he let SWAT down, does he really deserve zat shot? I mean, he lost to a jobber in record time. At least Linda was beaten in record time by ZE BEST… what excuse does Syberus have? Being an only child?


Fortunately, I recognize zat everyone can have a bad night, and have zought of a way to rehabilitate Syberus’ shitty image.


So I came up a NUMBER ONE CONTENER match.


Syberus. You don’t want to tag with ze boys, zat’s fine… but can you stand up for zem? Can you actually stand up for ze companies’ best interests when your own actually align?


When not harassing ze Amazons, Eddie D likes shitting in bags. Half ze locker room is ready to string him up, and thanks to Linda we no longer can afford ze lawsuit zat zat would create. Destroying ze personal property of your locker room brothers!


You want ze world title? You want Trent Jones? Stand up for ze boys! You’re going to have to go zrough Eddie D. You can’t beat him? I’d be just as happy to see ze Brothers EXPLODE over ze world strap.


Next Battleground, you two are going to work it out.


[Turning around another corridor, Zoran makes his way into the foyer.]


Zoran Sainovic: OH – and I know Soutter is just ITCHING to catch up with old friends. <chuckle> Like the management over my head? Since I just saved him some time with zose pencil pushers, how about he finishes with ze friends zat showed up especially to see him?


Paul. At ze Memorial, you ARE going to get a chance to even ze score with JAMES FIERCE.


Personally, I hope he puts you back in ze hospital permanently zis time – but regardless, I want you to have a good time. Treat it, likes its going to be your last match...


[Chuckling, Zoran crosses to the front doors.]


Zoran Sainovic: All zat is left is to wish Anthony Caffrey a pleasant evening. Now you might wonder why I orchestrated a defence against a rival federation – especially so close to ze summer months.


See Toni, I could have made myself ze number one contender to ze X*Crown at any time... we could have spent ze spring trading it back and forth, on paper looking like the winningest champions of all time. Would being a four time X*Crown champion look good on my resume? Frankly, I’m happy with ze one.


Besides, whether I’m ze X*Crown champion or YOU are ze X*Crown champion, ze problem remains zat SWAT has ze championship. A monopoly no different zan AWF holding it for a year! It is important to make it a REAL touring belt. One zat actually defends against ze best, versus a political pissing contest orchestrated once a season. Zat is no way to acknowledge greatness.


At ze end of ze day, you betrayed my trust, and ze SWAT fans cheered you for it.


As far as I’m concerned, Toni, I hope you lose.


SWAT doesn’t DESERVE ze crown. Nice things are for people who respect honour, agreements, and ze talent zat BROUGHT ZE DAMNED BELTS TO ZIS BACKWARDS DIVE TO BEGIN WITH!


Besides, I basically spent a match making Death Trap my bitch. If not for zat piece of shit, Radu Matei, I would have won zat little contest and WE ALL KNOW IT. So I figure ze same way I could have challenged you at any time? I have ze same in with my MCCW bastard son. Paternity test death match? Ze dream is a reality.


You screwed me over for Diamond, I’m just selling you out to better company.


So if you win? Well, I’ll come up with something even better for you next week. Like I-Man. If you lose? Well, I hope SWAT knows who is responsible for zem no longer holding ze crown.


Either way... you... Trap... Diamond... Matei.


You’re all on my hit list.



[Pushing open the front doors, Zoran Sainovic exits SWAT Headquarters. The pandemic fear seems to be subsiding, as signs of civilization have already started on the metropolitan streets of Sydney, where a road crew is busily repaving. The tar bubbles under the hot sun. Turning his back to the camera, Zoran Sainovic walks away.]































“WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING PATHETIC FLESHLING?”




[Zoran stops dead in his tracks.]




“WORTHLESS HUMAN, I WILL USE THE ULTIMATE TITLE TO PICK YOUR BONES FROM MY TEETH.”











[Zoran turns to find The Dread Lord DINOSAUR BONES in all his plush T-Rex costumed glory.]





Zoran Sainovic: Bones, have you lost weight?





“MY BONE DENSITY HAS REMAINED UNCHALLENGED SINCE THE JURASSIC PERIOD, PUNY MORTAL, AND NOW I TURN TO OUR THIRD CONTEST, A RUBBER BAND MATCH! A RUBBER BAND I WILL SHOOT INTO YOUR EYE!!!!!!”




Zoran Sainovic: Funny. Even zough - between Death Trap and Anthony Caffrey, MCCW and SWAT, no matter who wins - I still end up ze victor... I was feeling a little left out. What better way to add insult to injury, zen to upstage zeir self-indulgent iron man contest with a superior match?




“NOT RUNNING LIKE THE POULTRY I KNOW YOU TO BE? YOU MIGHT JUST HAVE A CHIMP IN YOUR FAMILY TREE!”





Zoran Sainovic: Bring it. You loud, rotting, lizard fuck.




[Punching the asphalt mixer, it suddenly releases an undiluted stream of tar into the road. As the massive pot holes fill up with the burning hot substance, the two men change at each other.]

SAINOVIC / BONES III
Z*Crown Championship
TAR PIT DEATH MATCH
“The Final Boss” Zoran Sainovic vs. “The Dread Lord” DINOSAUR BONES

The hulking dinosaur charges in for a bite, but SWAT’s favourite commissioner manages to leap frog over him. The arrogant smile that Zoran exhibits following this athletic prowess soon disappears, as his move almost sees him diving into the tar flooded street.


Landing on the edge of the curb, Zoran barely catches his balance.


A massive tail swipe, knocks Sainovic clean off his feet. As he starts careening towards the tar pit, Zoran has the presence of mind to grab the offending appendage. BONES strength is such, that the follow through movement of the tail drags Zoran out of harm’s way.


Zoran breathes a sigh of relief as he’s planted back on the sidewalk, only to eat an elbowdrop from one of BONES’ tiny T-rex arms.


The destroyer of worlds stands on Sainovic’s throat, while getting back up to his feet.


Reaching into his coat pocket, a choking Sainovic pulls out his butterfly knife, promptly stabbing BONES in the foot. Grabbing his bloody foot in agony, BONES staggers off. Gasping for air, Sainovic slowly gets back up, before seeing BONES on one foot! Charging over, Sainovic tries to knock BONES into the tar with a hip attack!!!


DINOSAUR BONES refuses to sell for hip attacks!


Not down with the Ancient Evil’s no selling antics, Zoran Sainovic uses the knife to slash at the giant undead lizard’s face!


Victoria Bitter Boy: THROAT CUT! THROAT CUT!!!!


Billowy cotton bursts forth from The Dread Lord’s gapping wound. As one of the former wrestlers who now works in the mail room happily announces the horrific volence taking place in the street, the remaining SWAT Headquarters staff come out to watch the spectacle.


Foster’s Beer Man: Not that wanker again? I hope someone finally dumps that obnoxious pile of bones in that black ooze and puts him out of my misery.



Sabrina Sinstone: He’s challenging Zoran.


Foster’s Beer Man: ……………GIVE ‘EM HELL, BONSEY!


“KEEP YOUR PATHETIC CRIES OF SUPPORT FOR SOMEONE WHO NEEDS THEM FLES-“


Victoria Bitter Boy: Right on, mate. Bones telling Foster’s his beverage of choice tastes like koala piss, leaving the Dread Lord open to a belly-to-back suplex from our commissioner! Can he get Ol’ Bones over into the tar? We could be seeing a new lord of darkness, here!


Foster’s Beer Man: Nah, the big bastard is too damned heavy to lift.


Victoria Bitter Boy: From behind, Sainovic turns the suplex attempt into a waistlock. Dinosaur throwing back elbows to break it, but his arms are too small!


Foster’s Beer Man: Sainovic stabbing his knife into Bones’ gut – and trying to pull out a fistful of its fabric cushioning. That is one way to lighten the load.


Victoria Bitter Boy: As Sainovic tries to grab a second fistful, Bones starts thrashing violently. The bigger, uh, beast almost bucking the commissioner off him, as he swings about wildly!


Foster’s Beer Man: Sainovic losing his grip, but ducking a bite attempt. Another bite attempt! Bones trying to rip the commissioner’s head off. Zoran wraps him up for a reverse Russian legsweep – that’ll send the pile of bones headfirst into the tar! NO! Bones putting on the breaks. Sainovic trying again, no, turns it into a regular Russian legsweep.


Sabrina Sinstone: What are you two doing?


Victoria Bitter Boy: Showing off our crackin’ announcing skills. Jeremy’s days are numbered.


Sabrina Sinstone: When Zoran watches the replay of this, and sees that you didn’t lend a hand – its more likely he’ll have you cleaning latrines.


Victoria Bitter Boy: Um. Excuse me.


Foster’s Beer Man: Moving like he needs to deposit a bottle of that hot piss they call Victoria Bitter, Boy charges at Dinosaur Bones with a closeline – only to eat a tail swipe to the face! Bones really cleaned the kid’s clock! As Bitter rolls around on the pavement, you have to think he’s reevaluating his life choices – starting with his choice of alcoholic beverage.


Sabrina Sinstone: Dinosaur Bones stomping up and down on Vic Bitter, while swatting away construction workers that are trying to shut down the asphalt machine! He’s beating up a good six men!


Victoria Bitter Boy: KILL ME!


Foster’s Beer Man: Zoran Sainovic throws a bicycle at Bones!!!



#DING#


Foster’s Beer Man: BONES SOMEHOW MANAGING TO CATCH THE BIKE WITH HIS TINY ARMS! WHAT AN AMAZING ATHLETIC DISPLA-


#DING#


Sabrina Sinstone: Zoran dropkicks the bike into Bones’ chest! The force sends bones staggering backwards into that tar pit!!!


Foster’s Beer Man: Bones in the tar! Zoran wins!


Sabrina Sinstone: Not quite! Bones still has Victoria Bitter Boy stuck to his feet, so he’s still not in the tar! Riding Boy like a surf board!


Victoria Bitter Boy: IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!!


Foster’s Beer Man: Zoran trying to pick up that bike to throw again, but Bones using those brutal tail spins to keep him at bay!


Victoria Bitter Boy: ARRGGH! It’s in mouth!


Foster’s Beer Man: Victoria Bitter Boy puking all over the place, like he drank a Victoria Bitter – only he’s so stuck in the tar, he just ends up getting sick on himself!


#SMASH#


Sabrina Sinstone: Zoran breaking the window of a nearby car, and taking out its parking break. The car starts sliding backwards into the tar! Zoran directing it towards the patch of road that Bones is surfing on, treating the vehicle like a missile to take the dinosaur out!


Foster’s Beer Man: The car slowly rolling towards Bones! This will DEFINITELY knock him into that tar!


Sabrina Sinstone: He’s like a deer caught in the headlights!


Foster’s Beer Man: Bones jumping from the substandard lager’s mascot to the hood of the care! Crickey! Given how awkward that costume is, I’m kind of amazed he made it. The car has nothing to ram into to, but Victoria Bitter.


Victoria Bitter Boy: ARGH – MY CROTCH!


Sabrina Sinstone: Dinosaur Bones now standing on the roof of that car, as he slowly careens through a sea of boiling hot tar. Zoran does not look happy.


Foster’s Beer Man: The commissioner “accidentally” knocking Dave and Phil from accounting into the road, to use as stepping stones. Hopping over to the car! Both men on top of the vehicle, trading shot for shot!


Sabrina Sinstone: Ghost riding the whip in style!


Foster’s Beer Men: BONES clamping those razor sharp teeth down on Sainovic’s shoulder, ripping away a strips of skin. Zoran’s suit cut to ribbons! He’s bleeding profusely, but just keeps punching away at the challenger!


Sabrina Sinstone: The two rolling around on the top, trading shot, and teasing spills. They are really doing a number on that roof!


Foster’s Beer Man: Yeah, they’ve almost caved in – wait, that’s my car!


Sabrina Sinstone: Fosters now running into the battle, using the bike to try to reach his car. The tar is making it difficult.


Brien O. Thomas: He’s almost fallen over twice.


Sabrina Sinstone: Zoran leaping over a tail swipe. Ducking a bite. Leaping over another tail-


#CRASH#


Foster’s Beer Man: OH. MY. CAR.


#DING#


Foster’s Beer Man: AARGH!


Sabrina Sinstone: The roof of the car collapsed, almost sending both men into the tar. And the shock caused Fosters to fall over with that bike.


Foster’s Beer Man: I need a drink.


Sabrina Sinstone: Zoran kicking Bones in the face – and using his knife to cut off the dread lord’s tail!!! Zoran picking up that heavy tail and using it to club Dinosaur with!







#CRASH#





Sabrina Sinstone: The car just ran into the asphalt mixer, setting forth another wave of tar! The impact causes Sainovic to lose his balance! Here comes Dinosaur with the six shooter – NO! Sainovic wraps the tail around the big man’s neck, and uses it to pull him into a judo throw!









! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !











Sabrina Sinstone: DINOSAUR BONES THROWN INTO THE TAR PIT!!! Zoran Sainovic retains his Z*Crown!





“THIS IS FAR FROM OVER YOU WORM-“



Wiping blood from his mouth, Zoran hops off the car, standing on Dinosaur Bones head, and forcing it down beneath the muck.



“GLLLLLLURP!”


Zoran Sainovic: I am moving onto new business, and old business?  Doesn't get much older zan you.



Sabrina Sinstone: What a wild brawl! The X*Crown will certainly have its work cut out for it to rival the Z*Crown, but I have faith in them.



Victoria Bitter Boy: Someone call an ambulance, this REALLY hurts.

[frostbite]

Backstage...

We see Frostbite who has changed out of his wrestling gear and has a blue duffel bag slug over his left shoulder he is wearing a blue tee shirt with faded blue jeans and blue and white Nike shoes, as it appears that he is leaving the building with an intense look in his blue eyes, as if he quite upset or pissed off or whatever you want to call it. He turns to look at some of the backstage hands who start to run the other way as they know just by the look in his eyes he us not going to play around. He gets to the back door of the arena as he pushes it open as he is in the parking lot, as he is looking around for his car.

Voice.. Frostbite, can I get a word with You?

Frostbite spins around as he sees a gentleman wearing a blue suit approaching him, it is none other than Warren Webber.

Frostbite.. Warren this is not the time or place to have this conversation.

Warren is picking up the pace, as Frostbite reaches inside his blue duffel bag and pulls out a black helmet as he zips back up his bag as he turns around as he continues to look around for his vehicle.

Warren Webber.. Frostbite, I must get a word and ask about your match against Paul Soutter.

Frostbite continues to walk not wanting to answer his question. He finds his black motorcycle, as he throws his duffel back on it as he gets on it by that time Warren catches up to him.

Warren Webber.. Frostbite you had Paul beat but you came up with the short end there.

Frostbite starts up the motorcycle.

Warren Webber.. Frostbite, please answer my question? What is going on? It appears that maybe you are losing it. You do not have it anymore.

Frostbite cuts off the engine, as he jumps off the bike, as he walks over to Warren.

Frostbite.. What did you just say?

Warren Webber.. I said you had a great match in there and you lost. But I must admit you have taken a few losses here late. Could that be the sign of times for you.

Frostbite.. What in the hell are you getting at?

Warren Webber.. Since your return to SWAT you have mention it that you have not lived up to your expectations if I can use that term. You told us that you were going to burn this company to the ground and you have not done that. Paul is still around, and yes I know that you put him with the help of the New KGB put him on the shelf, but he is back and he won, he beat you.

Frostbite strokes his chin, as he is listening to Warren.

Warren Webber... Frostbite do you have an answer?

Frostbite turns around as he puts his helmet back on his head. As he is about to hop back on the bike.

Warren Webber.. Guys, let's get out of here. We are not going to get nothing out of here. It is a shame this guy was good at one time.

Frostbite takes off his helmet as he looks at Warren as he jumps off his bike as he walks over to Warren who is walking away. Frostbite reaches over Warren left shoulder as he spins him around and grabs him by his throat.

Frostbite.. What in the hell did you just say?

Warren is gasping for air.

Frostbite,, I did not hear you, speak up bitch. That is right you said that I am a laid, and a loser basically right?

Warren is still gasping for air, as he drops to his knees.

Voice.. Let him go.

Frostbite let's go as he looks up as he sees that it is Doomsday and Lucifer.

Warren is on the ground coughing, as Doomsday looks around at his camera crew.

Doomsday.. Can you idiots get him out here.

The camera crew quickly grabs up Warren as they get out of sight.

Frostbite.. Well, are the two of you beat my ass, because I am ready to go.

Doomsday.. Relax, we are not here to start in fighting with you. The three of us had some good fights tonight but we all lost this evening. Matches to be honest we should have one.

Lucifer.. I agree with him.

Frostbite.. I do not have time for this.

Frostbite turns around but as he does so, Doomsday reaches out with his big right hand as he grabs him by his left shoulder as he spins him around.

Doomsday.. I want to ask you question.

Frostbite.. It better be not about Soutter?

Doomsday.. Not all of it, but myself and Lucifer want to ask you something.

Frostbite.. I suppose I owe you two that much since we been up and down those highways for many years.

Lucifer.. Listen, we hear that you might be retiring. Rumors are running around, not here maybe but we hear that you have left other companies.

Frostbite.. I have left one company yes, because I did mention the r word. I have one more match in SEE the company you know Jennifer Enigma runs, and then I am done.

Doomsday.. Okay that would explain the other companies but what about here.

Frostbite.. What about here?

Doomsday.. Look, you have difference with you, certainly we have said things about each other, but I look at you this is not the same Frostbite I know.

Frostbite.. Look the World knows I have suffered my share of injuries the last couple of years. You should know after spending many years in this business those things catch up with you. But I will say I feel great right now. I am in better shape now than I ever was at any point in my career.

Lucifer.. But..

Frostbite.. Big man, look as much as Warren pissed me off, he is right. What have the threw of us done since we have been here. We have done nothing.

Doomsday.. You certainly have a point. Look we had that team Lunchbox Larry and KJAX on the ropes, we should have beaten them plan and simple.

Frostbite.. You are hitting the nail on the head. I beat Paul ass out there tonight, I had the guy bleeding I was winning the damn match but for some reason I did not pull it out. The Frostbite that I know would have put him away without hesitation. There is something that is missing. I do not know what it is.

Lucifer starts to laugh as Doomsday looks at him as if he has lost his mind.

Doomsday.. What is funny?

Lucifer.. I was just thinking back to what Johnny joker was saying something about us getting back together.

Frostbite.. Who said we were getting back together?

Doomsday.. Johnny Joker? Ah, Valentine that guy does joke way too damn much. I get it.

Frostbite.. Look, I will be blunt. We have not done what we set out to do c eetainly. Take a look around, Valentine, Syberus, Rally and Tuxedo Mask and all won championships around all for hardkore guys. Trent Jones has come in and won the World title, hell I must admit I have taken a back seat to way too many people. I came here to burn this bitch to the ground and win the title and I have not done that no matter what I appear to do it is one lost right behind the other that is not the Frostbite that I know.

Doomsday.. Look we came here to win the tag team titles. We have had maybe two wins as a tag team and a six man match win with Goth, I think. We can not buy a damn win. We should have won the tag team titles.

Lucifer.. Look we are all frustrated because we have not done what we said we can do. And yes we better than this, I agree.

Frostbite... Guys we stand here and say all of this, and I am sure those morons in the locker room are going to say that we are what they might say we are being sore losers or whatever might be. But they can all kiss my ass.

Doomsday.. This is all fine, but it does not answer the most important question.

Frostbite.. My retirement I guess we are getting at right?

Lucifer., Yes.

Frostbite.. Look, the word has been going around and I told the two of you I had some test done recently, and they could be something going around and I might have the c word. And it is concerning because of what happen with Rebecca so it does weigh heavy on my mind, but that is no excuse as to why I am losing at such an alarming rate. I feel good in that ring, my skulls have actually gotten better. But gentlemen you know that I need to feel that I am in the fight. I walk into any company, I need to prove that point that I am one of the damn best on the planet and being a champion fills that void.

Doomsday.. I know of your situation we both do, and even though we have your back on that and you know that but dude please for yourself and not for us but for you think long and hard about you walking away from this. I was about to do so but Lucifer talk me out of it, because he really felt that we could become tag team champions.

Lucifer., I must admit, I am having second thoughts. Partner, we have become everybody whipping post, those two we should have ripped apart but we could not do that. I know Frosty feels that he should have beaten Paul and others but he feels he has lost it, so I understand is point of view.

Doomsday., I thought I was the weak link of the team, and wanted to get you a new partner and had somebody lined up for you. But you wanted us to do this, but I must admit maybe you might have a point. The three of us have taken an ass kicking and we have become the jokes around here. But Frosty here as KGB watching his back.

Frostbite.. The KGB has done fine, think about it. Timeless has won gold, Joanee is Amazon cha,poo, Fierce just got here, I have not held up my end of the deal. I know Joanee has a match later shortly but I am not doing the group any damn good. If I were the group I would kick my ass out because of these losses, I would wonder if I was worth keeping around.

Lucifer.. When did doubt ever creep into Frostbite soul. You are taking this quite hard. The three of us have taken it way too hard.

Frostbite.. We all have pride in what we believe we can do in that ring. I have the seed of doubt, do I need this anymore maybe the loss to Soutter was the finally straw. I just need to think about this long and hard before I decided to retire for good.

Doomsday.. Hey, if you retire then we are going out there with you. That lose was the finally straw as well.

Lucifer.. I must agree with you.

Frostbite puts back on his helmet as he does pip is visor looming at the two seven footers with an intense look in his blue eyes.

Frostbite.. Besides guys, Linda did say yes.

Doomsday., It is about damn time you ask.

Doomsday reaches out to shake his hand, but Frostbite looks at him and Lucifer as if he believes this might be trick.

Doomsday.. Dude this is not some type of where we are going to jump you, if that were the case we would have beaten you up a few minutes ago.

Frostbite shakes his hand as well as Lucifer.

Frostbite.. Who says the both of you could beat me.

Lucifer.. Do not play that game with us. We would have won the fight and you know that.

Frostbite drops his head.

Frostbite.. You might but you know me.

Doomsday.. We do.

Frostbite walks toward his bike as he hops on it.

Frostbite.. I know next week Paul has booked me in a six man match with the KGB, and next week I promise this we will win and end this once and for all.

Doomsday., And after that?

Frostbite.. Do not know? I might be done.

Lucifer.. I am sure we will be fighting a couple of janitor next week for everybody amusement.

Doomsday.. Did you look at the booking sheet?

Lucifer.. Just taking a wild guess.

Frostbite.. Well this has been fun to say the least, but guys I must head out of here. Joanee will take care of business as usually and well, next week we shall see where things stand. I am sure these idiots in the locker room will get a kick out of it, and you know what. I got this to say.

A long pause.

Frostbite.. I will issue an open challenge to the entire locker room, after the six man or later on in the damn show. You want a piece of my ass, step up and try and be at my ass they goes for Paul, Team Fairtex, any member of Society of the New Breed, Trent Jones, Eddie D, anybody in that locker room. If I am going out then everybody will come with me, because I will once and dog or all burn the bitch finally to the ground.

Frostbite laughs..

Frostbite.. And the champs around here bring your damn titles because I am going to take them all on that night. It is time for me to truly take over, no more fooling around no more plating because if I am going out then you are all going to go to hell with me.

He starts the bike up.

Frostbite.. Guys?

He looks at Doomsday and Lucifer.

Frostbite.. Gentleman, you just get your tag team titles after all.

They look at Frostbite with a smile across their lips, as he rides off.

[Justin]

Cut away to...

Camera-phone footage?

K-JAX:
Did those two big dumb dorks just say something about how they should have beat us?

From behind the phone... camera... phone... whatever, Lunchbox Larry replies.

Lunchbox:
That's what I heard, Kirbeezy.

Kirby Jackson blinks dismissively.

K-JAX:
Whatever you gotta tell yourselves to get to sleep, fellas, but don't let your bigger, dorkier and just as useless friend get you two lumps confused. The SWAT Tag Titles are not coming to you. Ever. Especially not anytime soon, ya dig it? Because we smashed ya like potatoes and you two over-sized oompa-loompas can take your places right back to the back o' the line, capiche?

Larry nods, causing the camera-shot to get tummy-hurty fast.

End.

[SWAT Team]

(The show returns from spots for the Texas Bureau of Tourism, SWAT's Greatest Matches on their streaming service, SWAT Magazine with a story on Dragonatrix, Joanne Canelli in a gambling spot, Suzi Spits endorsing her new line of soft drinks and "Lucky" Linda La Fey doing a spot for the Texas State Lottery before fading to the ringside area where ringsiders are holding signs saying "Do you feel 'Lucky' Linda!," "Joanne Bites!," "Suzi is 'Vicious!," ""Linda is true gold!," "Joanne + KGB=America's Most Wanted!," and "Suzi Spitz on SWAT!" before fading to the broadcast booth where Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton are sitting wearing headsets.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back to Battleground 28 and now it's time for the Amazons Title Match featuring SWAT Amazons Women's Champion 'Don' Joanne Cannelli facing 'Lucky' Linda La Fey and Suzi Spitz in a Triple Threat Match."

Andrew Fulton: "Which is owned and paid for by the SWAT Amazons Women's Champion 'The Jersey Devil' 'Don' Joanne Cannelli and former SWAT owner Joe Pesci."

Jeremy Tucker: "That I have to give you because she cheated to win that championship with the help of her former associates The Hired Killers, Jade and Kim, who interfered costing Wildcat Lynn Brewster the match. Lynn became Pesci's personal slave until she quit and Joe lost to Radu Matei."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne didn't cheat during her title reign and you know it. She's the longest reigning women's champion in SWAT and she's been taking a bite literally out of the competition since she won the championship. Tonight's not going to be any different than the previous title defences."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well Joanne's going to be in a very tough match because she's facing the returning Suzi Spitz who defeated Kim in an equally tough battle and the red hot 'Lucky' Linda La Fey, who's vowing to get revenge on Commissar Zoran Sainovich for screwing her and Joanne as well."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah and she's going to be a loser just like she and Kim were when they were part of Team Amazon in Call to Arms. Hell Zoran defeated her first and he pinned her fair and square."

Jeremy Tucker: "He used Agent 42 to do all his dirty work and then Zoran came in and made the cheap pin and you know it Andrew. Tonight isn't Call to Arms and Zoran isn't vying for the women's championship plus now got her two million from Zoran."

Andrew Fulton: "Zoran is a literal genius and he has washed his hands of Linda now."

Jeremy Tucker: "This proves that nobody in SWAT likes him and why the other promotions look down on SWAT."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh yeah blame our esteemed commissar for all that's wrong in SWAT and why the rest of the XHF looks down on lowly SWAT."

Jeremy Tucker: "Yeah and his match making skills prove why the XHF hates SWAT and makes fun of us."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah keep blaming Commissar Zoran for that too."

Jeremy Tucker: "Right now let's go to the ring for the introductions."

Frank Salazar: "This contest is scheduled for one fall and it's a Triple Threat Match for the SWAT Amazons Women's Championship. Introducing first from New Orleans. She comes in at 5'8" and weighs in at 135lbs. She is 'The Vicious Vixen' Suzi Spitz."

(C.O.D. hits and Suzi Spitz makes her way to ring high fiving the fans on the way.)

Andrew Fulton: "Suzi's ready to regain her championship."

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from The Jersey Shore. She comes in at 5'11" and weighs in at 135lbs. She is the current SWAT Amazons Women's Champion and the leader of The KGB. Please welcome 'The Jersey Devil' 'Don' Joanne Cannelli."

(The houselights go down, as a spotlight goes over the crowd. As the potlight comes to a stop at the back of the entrance way, as "Courtesy Call" by Thousand Foot Krutch" begins to play, A picture of the Italian flag appears on the screen with the letters F.B.I. over the flag, with the words "Full Blooded Italians" is written underneath. It soon changes to scenes of mob hits, newspaper clippings from just recent to the late 1900's, but soon changes once again, to shots of the Mafioso, sitting in a large office, and in limos, and in arenas from times since past. The spotlight focuses on four figures standing at the back of the ramp. This Joanne and her bodyguards. They make their way down the ramp with Joanne in the middle with Reno and Rude on either side, and Scarpaci following behind, talking among themselves ignoring the crowd around them. When they reach the ring, Reno holds the ropes for her, as she slips inside, only to follow behind and stand in the middle of the ring around her, She removes her jacket, and hands it to one of the guys, before the head out of the ring.)

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Dublin, Ireland. She comes in at 5'5" and weighs in at 131lbs. She is 'The Heart and Soul' of SWAT and leader of Team SWAT. Please welcome 'Lucky' Linda La Fey."

("Linger" by Cranberries plays and "Lucky" Linda La Fey storms ringside slapping hands and slides into the ring.)

Jeremy Tucker: "You can tell the tension is thick along with the anticipation and excitement."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah! Yeah! Let's not forget the who makes the first move cliché along with the other clichés."

Jeremy Tucker: "The bell sounds and this match is underway."

Andrew Fulton: "Cliché....Cliché....Cliché....and cliché!"

Jeremy Tucker: "Very funny Andrew. Linda and Suzi waste no time going after Joanne unleashing a series of lefts and rights to the champion."

Andrew Fulton: "Cliché! Everyone's stating the obvious to go after the champion who's the top cat in SWAT's Amazon Division. They whip 'The Don' into the opposite corner and take turns avalanching her."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda and Suzi open up a double can of whoop ass and Joanne slumps down into the corner. Suzi backs up and charges in and bronco busters and Linda backs up and charges in with a senton."

Andrew Fulton: "You forgot the ringsiders are enjoying these moves cliché."

Jeremy Tucker: "You’re a cliché. Linda and Suzi whip Joanne into the ropes but she holds onto them as Linda and Suzi charges and Joanne pulls the ropes down sending both Suzi and Linda out of the ring onto the hard concrete floor."

Andrew Fulton: "Hard concrete floor cliché. Joanne bounds into the ropes and charges and flies over the ropes sending Linda and Suzi into the security guard railing. She throws Linda over the railing and finds a chair and starts beating her with it."

Jeremy Tucker: "Isn't that a cliché too Andrew."

Andrew Fulton: "Technically if Linda and Suzi do it."

Jeremy Tucker: "Amazing you're a lawyer too."

Andrew Fulton: "Licensed in anywhere that has desperate clients."

Jeremy Tucker: Why did I ask? Joanne goes over the railing and places that chair between Suzi's arm and she stomps that arm without mercy."

Andrew Fulton: "That's because the KGB's out to prove they don't just dominate but they call the shots now in SWAT and not Soutter. Joanne's the alpha female and SWAT Amazon's standard bearer unlike other romotions where there's no women's division."

Jeremy Tucker: "I'm sure you'll be invited to future XHF events with your gracious words of praise. Joanne throws Suzi back into the ring and whips her into the ropes and she clotheslines her. She whips Suzi into the corner and avalanches her followed by a vicious death stomp off the top turnbuckle."

Andrew Fulton: Come on she's just showing how vicious and ruthless she can be. Joanne kicks Suzi out of the ring unceremoniously as Linda returns to the ring and delivers a running knee to Joanne's back and follows up with a series of IRA kicks to Joanne in the corner."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda whips Joanne into the ropes and delivers a series of dropkicks sending 'The Don' out of the ring and onto the hard concrete floor. Linda bounds into the ropes and flies over and out of the ring Aer Linda and she knocks Joanne into the security railing."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda throws Joanne over the security railing and follows her over the railing. She grabs a beer from the vendor and she drinks the beer and wipes her mouth before throwing the rest into Joanne's face. Linda then grabs a hotdog and she takes a large bite and chews on it before stuffing the rest into Joanne's mouth."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda throws Joanne over the security guard railing and back onto the hard concrete floor. She suplex's Joanne into the ring steps and Joanne arches her back in pain as Linda throws her back into the ring. Linda finds a chair and slides it into the ring and returns and uses the chair to beat Joanne relentlessly. She applies a chinlock and pulls back hard as Joanne screams in pain and struggles to get to the ropes. She reaches them and Linda waits for the full count and releases the hold. We're seeing a more aggressive Linda tonight."

Andrew Fulton: "Ho hum cliché."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda picks up Joanne and she bodyslams her with authority before dropping a series of legs onto Joanne's chest. Linda goes for the cover and hooks the leg for a one count."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda's still pissed over Zoran not just screwing her out of the two million dollars, even though he just succumbed and coughed up, but also pinning her fair and square in the middle of the ring. So Linda's lashing out at the nearest targets and that's Suzi and Joanne kind of like what Timeless and Roxylishus did to The Hired Killers. Right now Suzi just returned to the ring with a baseball bat and she's hitting singles."

Jeremy Tucker: "So far Suzi continues to beat Joanne and Linda with that baseball bat and bodyslams Linda onto the chair and then bodyslams Joanne on the other chair. She drops a knee onto Joanne followed by a knee to Linda as Joanne rolls out of the ring and onto the hard concrete floor."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne's out cold and doesn't realize that she could lose without being pinned. Meanwhile Suzi mounts and grounds and pounds Linda like it's old times between these two. Linda turns her over and returns the ground and pound with one of her own just like old times."

Jeremy Tucker: "Both roll back and forth brawling with their fists and battle their way back to their feet. Linda gets the better of the exchange forcing Suzi into the corner and Linda charges in and crushes Suzi's chest with a running knee."

Andrew Fulton: "That one's going to hurt. Linda whips Suzi into the ropes but Suzi reverses it and short arm clotheslines her. She keeps a grip on Linda's arm and executes a second short arm clothesline and a third. Suzi stomps on Linda's collar and chest proving Suzi's not just vicious she's just plain mean."

Jeremy Tucker: "To who?"

Andrew Fulton: "To Joanne."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne's not even in the ring."

Andrew Fulton: "Well she should be since she's the champion."

Jeremy Tucker: "Why did I bother to ask. Suzi picks up Linda and places that arm over her shoulder and smashes it over her shoulder before throwing Linda Judo style over her shoulder. She transitions into a cross armbar submission."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda struggles to get to the ropes as Joanne returns the ring wielding a branding iron. These fans will bring anything to a wrestling match. Joanne jams that branding iron into Suzi's back and then sadistically jams it into Linda's back and screams that they both are her property now."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne puts the boots to both Linda and Suzi before kicking Linda out of the ring to the concrete floor. She whips Suzi into the ropes and brutally clotheslines 'The Vicious Vixen' before dropping a series of vicious elbows to her head and making the cover....One....Two....Kickout."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne cinches in a tight rear chinlock and cranks and grinds it in tighter and tighter as the referee checks to see it it's a choke which it isn't airhead. Suzi struggles to her feet and delivers a series of hard elbows to Joanne's mid-section and then throws 'The Don' over her back Judo style."

Jeremy Tucker: "Both are down and are slow to get back to their feet and start trading punches as they finally get back to a vertical base. Linda returns to the ring with a barbed wire baseball bat as Joanne and Linda start exchanging chops. Linda connects to both their heads with home run swings."

Andrew Fulton: "Those weren't home run swings."

Jeremy Tucker: "What were they then?"

Andrew Fulton: "Those were grand slam swings. Linda scrapes Joanne's back and does the same to Suzi's back. Linda scrapes Joanne's head cutting her open and does the same to Suzi's head and thus causing a feast of la resistance. Joanne's fangs are coming out and she licks her lips sensually."

Jeremy Tucker: "I agree with you. Linda's using the handle to jam that barbed wire bat into Joanne's stomach and the uses the barbed wire end to Suzi's stomach. Linda positions both chairs like a bridge and places the barbed wire bat and baseball bat across the seats."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda places Suzi onto the baseball bats and then sets up Joanne up and executes an exploder onto the chair and both arch their backs in pain but Suzi's in worse shape from that move."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda's roaring and psyching herself . She whips Joanne into one corner and she whips Suzi into the other."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda roars as she trainwrecks both of them repeatedly. She follows up with a series of running flying knee strikes to their heads. Linda has regained all her momentum and she's really on fire as she calls out Zoran's name."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda throws Suzi out of the corner and she rushes over and throws Joanne out of her corner. She suplex's Joanne and then Suplex's Suzi and Suzi rolls out of the ring...."

Andrew Fulton: "Onto the hard concrete floor cliché."

Jeremy Tucker: "You took the words right out of my mouth. Linda picks up Joanne who rolls her up ito a small package and grabs the tights....One....Two....Kickout by Linda."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne just surprised Linda with a diving dropkick and then finds the barbed wire baseball bat and proceeds to beat Linda with it busting Linda open real bad. Oh...oh Joanne has just went into bloodsucker mode because she's biting that cut and it's become worse. The fangs come out again and Joanne knows it's more blood for her. Joanne just screamed in her face reminding her about what Linda did to her months ago. She wants revenge for Linda's attempts to perform a Buffy the Vampire slayer on her. Joanne just placed Linda on the top turnbuckle and superplexes her and rolls over onto her....One...Two....Kickout by Linda."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne whips Linda into the ropes and she ducks a clothesline but Linda comes off the ropes and both clothesline each other and both seem out. Joanne rolls over and places an arm over Linda's chest for a close three count. Joanne rolls out of the ring and looks under the ring apron and finds a sledgehammer and slides into the ring dragging the sledgehammer."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne's just let her inner mobster out. She jams that sledgehammer into Linda's gut and then starts working on her arm. She jams the handle of the sledgehammer into Linda's throat holding it down choking her."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne continues to hold that sledgehammer while stomping on Linda's arm. Linda's I pain but she can't scream due to that handle being jammed into her throat. Joanne is warned by the referee but she ignores the warnings as usual."

Andrew Fulton: "Must the referee's be warned repeatedly that she's 'The Don' and she can do whatever she pleases inside and outside the ring."

Jeremy Tucker: "She's obviously pushing to be disqualified which means she can remain champion on a technicality. Joanne throws the sledgehammer down and continues to stomp on Linda's arm before grabbing her by the arm and she proceeds to bite that arm as Linda screams louder and seems to be cursing in Gaelic."

Andrew Fulton: "Shades of Psychotic Goth. Linda should be lucky that Joanne didn't bite her in the neck or Linda would have been Joanne's soulmate Hell she would have been a real pain in the neck to Joan and etcetera."

Jeremy Tucker: "I'm sure they would have been that to each other."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh she would have been that and more. Joanne wraps that arm around the ring ropes and pulls and cranks that arm making the pain even worse. Joanne's definitely going to make sure she bills Linda an arm and maybe a leg when this match is over with and Joanne retains her title."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda attempts a series of forearms but Joanne counters with a series of vicious clubbing punches and elbows to that bad arm. Joanne cinches in a Fujiwara armbar and Linda's in pain as Linda struggles to get to the ropes. The referee checks to see if she'll tap but Linda refuses."

Andrew Fulton: "Once again her stubborn Irish ego overcomes her common sense and instead of caring about her health she refuses to tapout when she needs to do so. To Linda losing body part seems more important than Linda's own health. That's what happens when she associates with that brainless zombie Radu Matei."

Jeremy Tucker: "Suzi just returned to the ring and she dives onto Joanne forcing a break in the hold. She cinches in a Crippler Crossface as Linda rolls out of the ring. Joanne's creaming in pin as she struggles to get to the ropes refusing to tap out."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne reaches the ropes and grabs them forcing s break in the hold. Suzi refuses to release the hold until the last minute and sees the hammer and goes ver to it. She picks up the sledgehammer and starts working on Joanne's leg."

Jeremy Tucker: "You can tell Suzi's pent up anger is being let out. She's lost to Joanne repeatedly and she's letting Joanne know she's had enough of losing to her. Suzi uses the handle of the sledgehammer to choke Joanne screaming in her and cursing at Joanne. The referee's warning her to release the choke and Suzi waits until the very last minute before releasing the choke."

Andrew Fulton: "Suzi's still a loser no matter what anyone says and will always be a loser. So far these wild eyed overzealous bloodthirsty brawling cowboys and cowgirls enjoying the carnage since they enjoy a gold old fashioned barroom brawl anyway."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well that describes the way these three women are beating each other up. Suzi whips Joanne into the ropes and she superkicks her before going for the cover....One....Two.....Th....No! Joanne gets a shoulder up."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne saved herself and her championship there. Suzi mounts and she grounds and pounds Joanne relentlessly before up. She waits for Joanne to get up and she finds one of the now dented chairs and lets Joanne have it."

Jeremy Tucker: "Suzi's beating Joanne down with that chair. She's roaring and cursing as the ringsiders roar and wave their hats wildly. You can definitely tell that the ringsiders are going wild and enjoying the action in the ring."

Andrew Fulton: "Hell put two rodeo clown in there and they would still enjoy the action. In fact put to bulls and their riders in the ring and the ringsiders would practically enjoy the action. Suzi whips Joanne into the ropes and powerslams her before making the cover....One....Two.....Th....No! Joanne kicks out."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne saves herself again. Suzi whips Joanne into the ropes but Joanne holds on and as Suzi charges Joanne back bodydrops Suzi over and out of the ring. Suzi lands on her left knee and is hurt after hitting th hard concrete floor."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne's on the top turnbuckle and she executes a suicide dive onto Suzi and she landed with a real big hard splat on her. They're both down and out as the referee's counting....Oh come on this is a SWAT Amazons match and anything goes."

Jeremy Tucker: "I don't think anyone told the referee about SWAT Amazon matches. The ringsiders are all standing up and they are all fired up. They're yelling and screaming for more old fashioned bar room brawling."

Andrew Fulton: "Then SWAT should have recruited three tough woman competitors and let them loose in a biker bar and film it for this broadcast. Hell these Texas bubbas would have enjoyed it too and then this match would have just been exciting."

Jeremy Tucker: "Will you stop that."

Andrew Fulton: "Come on these Texas fans enjoy a good Texas joke."

Jeremy Tucker: "Yeah I'm sure they'll be asking you to comedy clubs and asking you to sign autographs. Linda just went over to Joanne wielding a tire iron and she tosses Joanne back into the ring and reenters with that tire iron."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda's about to take out Joanne's tires along with her axles. She's working on Joanne's leg and knee before placing that tire iron in the back of that knee before cinching in a single legged Boston Crab. She bends backwards and continues to apply more pressure on that leg and knee."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne struggles to the ropes and as the referee is checking on Joanne. She manages to get the tip of her fingers onto the ropes forcing a break of the hold. Linda waits unti the last moment before breaking the hold and backs off still holding the tire iron."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne uses the ropes to get back to her feet. Suzi returns to the ring spearing Linda and then makes the cover but Joanne breaks it up. All three women are down and out as the referee counts."

Jeremy Tucker: "The referee starts to count as all three start to stir. Linda suddenly kips up roaring and psyching herself up before Garvin stomping Joanne and then Garvin stomping Suzi. Linda places Suzi on top of Joanne before going to the top turnbuckle."

Andrew Fulton: "Why is that dumbass referee counting if Linda's about to execute a move. Joanne was lucky to have gotten a shoulder up but Linda Lucky Dips both of them at the sametime. She covers both and hooks the leg...er I mean both their legs...One...Two....Thr....No! Both get their shoulders up."

Jeremy Tucker: "I have to agree with you."

Andrew Fulton: "That there referee is a dumbass."

Jeremy Tucker: "No that the referee should not have tried to make the count."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda waits as both Suzi and Joanne get back to their feet. Suzi gets back to her feet and turns and gets Brogue kicked and stumbles out of the ring. Linda waits and attempts to Brogue kick Joanne who ducks and German suplex's Linda on the barbed wire baseball bat."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne leaves the ring and finds a table and barbed wire. She slides the table into the ring with the barbed wire before re entering the ring and she sets up the table before wrapping the barbed wire around the table. She places Linda onto the table and now she wraps barbed wire around herself."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne's going to pay back Linda for what Linda did to Frostbite last year. She attempts a Superfly Splash but Linda barely gets off the table and Joanne crashes and burns. Linda leaves the ring and now she finds a table and some barbed wire and she slides them into the ring before re entering. She sets up the table."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda places Joanne onto the table and she wraps the barbed wire around Joanne and the table. Now Linda wraps the barbed wire around herself and mounts the top turnbuckle and screams like a banshee."

Andrew Fulton: "That's exactly what she looks like with all that blood on her face. Hell if she beats Joanne for the championship it's going to be a big disgrace kicking her can all over the place."

Jeremy Tucker: "I know Queen isn't your favorite group. Linda just invoked Frostbite's name and not in a very womanly way either. She roars and executes a Lucky Dip sending them both through the table."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda's not going for the pin. She goes up to the top turnbuckle and roars and then screams Zoran's name and executes another Lucky Dip."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda takes her time making the cover and double hooks the leg....One....Two....Three."

Frank Salazar: "Your winner at 30minutes and the new SWAT Amazons Women's Champion. 'Lucky' Linda La Fey."

Jeremy Tucker: "'Lucky' Linda La Fey wins in an upset and two years of frustration and comes to an end as Linda regains her SWAT Amazons Women's Championship."

Andrew Fulton: "Zoran must be pissed at Linda regaining the SWAT Amazons Women's Championship. The Hired Killers just appeared at the back of the stage and are smiling and applauding her for her victory before leaving her to enjoy her moment. I wonder if they gave an additional beating to that worthless fart ass Rally for insulting their honor and ruining their husband's wrestling gear and gear bags."

Jeremy Tucker: "I have no idea. I do know that this was a rousing ending to an excellent match and Linda's enjoying every moment of this ringside audience roaring and rousing making her moment in the spotlight even more memorable. We’ll be right back with the Iron Man matchup, Anthony Caffrey vs Death Trap, X Crown on the line!!!

[SWAT Team]

Frank Salazar : The following contest is an IRON MAN match and is for the XHF X-CROWN!!!

The arena's lights go off and the fans immediately launch into a roaring pop at the sounds of Fall Out Boy's "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" and the sight of their X-Crown Champion. Anthony Caffrey takes a few moments to stand up at the top of the ramp, looking out at those in the Caffrey Corner before heading down to the ring. He is wearing his X-Crown around his mouth for safety, and his tights read "CAFF" on the back.

Once Caffrey stops looking to the cheering fans, he locks eyes with the opposition. He does not break eye contact with tonight's opponent as he walks with a laser focus -- at least until he makes it to the ring steps. He reaches down and taps his ankle before pointing at his opponent. He then makes a simple motion to mime breaking it in half as if his opponent's ankle was a simple wishbone. The crowd join along in the motion, knowing the veteran technician has a deep list of broken ankles in his history.

Caffrey steps into the ring and moves past his opponent, handing his glasses off to the timekeeper. He looks back at his opponent and does a few last minute stretches, knowing he's in for a battle.

Frank Salazar : Introducing first, hailing from The greatest city in the world -- Philadelphia, PA. Coming in at 6’4 and 223 pounds .... THE XHF X CROWN CHAMPION!! ANOTHONY CAFFREY!!!

Jeremy Tucker : The champ looks focused, he is determined to retain his belt and send Death Trap packing back to the MCCW.

Andrew Fulton : Where he belongs, this guy has some high opinion of himself thinking he just waltz in here, take on our Commissioner Zoran and THEN walk out with the X Crown? Geez.

Jeremy Tucker : Zoran invited him in, thinking he could manipulate him over here on his home soil, but Death Trap is a man of honor, and he accepts all challenges, of course he would come into the lions den and stand up for himself.

Andrew Fulton : Yeah yeah, he told us all about his values and his heroic great deeds ad naseum, we_get_it. He loves the charities, but i have never seen him donate to the Fulton Foundation.

Jeremy Tucker : Fulton Foundation?

Andrew Fulton : Yes Jerry. We support many struggling women, single mums working in titty bars, drug addicted poor souls who sell their body to support their habbit, they need charity too, and the Fulton Foundation travels the country helping these poor saps.

Jeremy Tucker : Will you stop.

*The haunting vocal intro for "The Hard Sell" by Coheed and Cambria hits the speakers and Death Trap steps onto the SWAT stage in his wrestling tights and a DT Main Attraction t-shirt with his MCCW World Heavyweight Championship title around his waist. He smirks and looks around the crowd as they cheer voraciously. DT heads to the ring high fiving the fans as he goes. He rolls into the ring and glares at Caffrey.*

Frank Salazar : And introducing his opponent, he hails from Seattle, WA, comes in at 6’3 and 260 pounds ... he is the MCCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ... DEATH TRAP!!!

Andrew Fulton : Man, he is an impressive looking specimen, isn’t he, looks like a bull!

Jeremy Tucker : He is one of the best, but so too is Caffrey, and they both walk up to each other and we got a stare down in the middle of the ring, referee Vick Mackey calls for the bell and we are underway!

Caffrey offers his hand to Death Trap, offering a hand shake before the bout, and DT looks dubious, the crowd encourage him on and DT warily accepts, Caffrey shakes with honor and then steps back.

Andrew Fulton : He is just trying to get into DT’s head. Caffrey doesn’t care about these silly handshakes and good (choking on the words) sportsmanship.

Jeremy Tucker : I think he does. The SWAT fans have embraced him as one of their own, and he loves them for it and he is really becoming quite the role model as the champ.

Collar elbow tie up, DT locks on a side headlock and then Caffrey runs the ropes, DT drops down for Caffrey to run over him, but Caffrey buts on the brakes and drops a knee hard to the lower back of DT.

Andrew Fulton : Great move Caffrey! He said it and he is proving it already, he is much smarter than DT.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey double ax handles the back of DT, DT trying to power up to his feet and Caffrey bulldogs him.

Andrew Fulton : DT powering back to his feet again, dropkick by Caffrey!

Jeremy Tucker : Right on the button! Another drop kick by Caffrey, and a third sends DT toppling over the top rope to the floor, the SWAT fans erupting in cheers for their home fed hero.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey is having his way with DT! This isn’t going to last long at this rate.

Jeremy Tucker : It’s an iron man match Andrew.

Fulton gives Jerry a blank confused look, does he not know what an iron man match is? DT slams both hands down on the ring apron in frustration, then slides back into the ring. Collar elbow tie up, Caffrey with the side headlock, but DT powers him up and drops him with a modified angle type slam suplex.

Andrew Fulton : DT catches Caffrey getting back to his feet with a martial arts double chop to the chest.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey no sells it and European uppercuts DT!
Another martial arts double chop by DT. Another European uppercut by Caffrey. Another martial arts double chop by DT. Another European uppercut by Caffrey. Another martial arts double chop by DT. Another European uppercut by Caffrey. Another martial arts double chop by DT. Another European uppercut by Caffrey. Another martial arts double chop by DT. Another European uppercut by Caffrey.

Andrew Fulton : Neither man willing to let the other get the better of them here. Spinning roundhouse kick from nowhere by DT, and Caffrey is down.

Jeremy Tucker : What a kick, he is a martial arts expert you know, DT that is. Covers Caffrey.

One ..............

Two .................

Kick out by Caff.

Andrew Fulton : DT takes Caffrey over to the turnbuckle, and rams his head into it, and again and again and again, these Texas fans counting along.

Jeremy Tucker : TEN! Ten times he rammed his head into that corner pad, and also folks, ten minutes have gone by in this match so far, still, no falls to either man.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey back on the offense now, and he is working on the ankle of DT, he stomps it, and then slams it hard in to the mat.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey slides outside the ring and grabs the foot of DT, and he swings it hard into the steel turnbuckle pole. He does it again, and again and again also, the Texans counting along to ten.

Andrew Fulton : Lucky he didn’t go any higher, i don’t think many of these fans can count much higher.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey going after the leg of DT here, DT said in his promotional he wasn’t going to tap, but Caffrey by the looks of it is going to put that to the test.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey back in and goes for the Process ankle lock, but DT counters it and rolls thru, hooking Caffrey in a small package ....

Jeremy Tucker : One ......................

Two ...................

Caffrey gets the shoulder up.

Andrew Fulton : DT drills Caffrey with a BIG T Bone suplex!

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey back to his feet, and hits a chop to the chest of DT.

Andrew Fulton : DT with a German suplex.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey with another chop to the chest of DT, leaving a big red hand print there. 20 minutes have elapsed.

Andrew Fulton : DT with a side slam on Caffrey.

Jeremy Tucker : DT lifting Caffrey up for a powerbomb .... Caffrey floats over into a sunset flip

One .....................

Two ......................

THREE!!!! He got him!

Frank Salazar : Winner of the first fall, Anthony Caffrey!!! Caffrey leads, 1 to 0.

Andrew Fulton : Yes! Caffrey retains the belt and defeats the Outsider DT! I love it!

Jeremy Tucker : It’s not over yet Andy, this is an Ion Man match.

Andrew Fulton : Yeah, so what now, Caffrey has to put on a Tony Stark outfit or some absurdity to finalise the win?

Jeremy Tucker : You’re too much.

Andrew Fulton : DT isn’t happy, he looks at referee Vick Mackey questioning the count, but Mackey tells him it was three, DT shrugs and forced himself to refocus, and what’s this? He is offering Caffrey a hand shake. Don’t do it Caff!

Jeremy Tucker : Caff looks around the crowd and the Texans are cheering him on to accept the hand shake, and he does so, warily. DT then nods to him in appreciation of him getting the first fall, and then releases the hand shake and signs for him to bring it.

Andrew Fulton : I like the old Caffrey better, he would have just DDT’d his head right thru the canvas there and then.

Jeremy Tucker : It’s called respect Andy, and sportsmanship, two things you know little about.

Andrew Fulton : Two things that will cost someone a match.

Jeremy Tucker : DT takes Caffrey down to the mat, the two technicians sliding around, each countering the other ....( Lebell Lock/Crossface) - Seattle Stretch!!! DT with the Seattle stretch on Caffrey!

Andrew Fulton : Mackey asking Caffrey if he will submit and Caffrey glares at him no, then reaches out and finally gets a fingertip to the ropes, and DT has to break the hold.

Jeremy Tucker : DT picks Caffrey up and drills him with a hard shoulder breaker.

Andrew Fulton : DT then gives him a second shoulder breaker, and a third, he is going after that old injured shoulder of Caffrey here Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Smart strategy by the MCCW Champ. DT stomps now on the injured shoulder, he drags the arm to the outside and swings it into the steel post, much like Caffrey did to his ankle earlier.

Andrew Fulton : Shining Wizard – Breakdown!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Diamond Cutter - Cut the Strings!!! DT nailed the Cut the strings, he covers Caffrey ....

One ..................

Two .....................

THREE!!!! He got him!

Frank Salazar : Winner of the fall, Death Trap. Score is now 1 fall each.

Andrew Fulton : DT now moves one step closer to the Tony Stark outfit part of this match.

Jeremy Tucker : Fulton, please. This is serious business. This is for the X-Crown!

Andrew Fulton : Oh, pardon me, like a Tony Stark outfit is any more ludicrous than a lego match or the Star Wars desert match we had with Rising Sun.

Jeremy Tucker : Check this out. Caffrey offering DT a hand shake for getting that pin on him. DT is a bit shocked at his, and doesn’t look like he trusts Caffrey, but he warily goes in for the shake, and Caffrey shakes his hand and steps back, he now signalling to bring it.

Andrew Fulton : I think i am going to puke.

Jeremy Tucker : Both men circling each other, 30 minutes has elapsed now in this one. Caffrey going back to work on the ankle of DT, and he leg scissors DT’s leg, punishing the ankle, punching it over and over. Twisting it.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey drops a knee to the ankle, and then places it on the second rope in the corner and drop kicks it.

Jeremy Tucker : DT tries to get to his feet but he is favouring the ankle and can barely stand.

Andrew Fulton : Foot DDT by Caffrey!

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey goes for the process but DT counters and rolls him up in another small package ....

One .......................

Two .........................

THREE!!!!!! Wowee!

Frank Salazar : Winner of the fall, Death Trap. Death Trap leads, Two falls to One.

Andrew Fulton : Shake his hand now Caffrey! DT hops to his foot, balanced on one leg, and Caffrey does just that again, and offers a shake. I am so over this hand shake rubbish.

Jeremy Tucker : Its respect man! DT accepts the shake again, waiting for Caffrey to waylay him, but he doesn’t, Caffrey releases and steps back, and then he pounces on the leg of DT, diving down on it like almost a spear to the ankle. He hooks the leg and takes DT of his feet to his back, and then holds the ankle and pulls it down onto his knee. And again and again and again.

Andrew Fulton : DT isn’t going to be able to walk soon if this continues Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey signals the crowd it’s over, and he LOCKS IT ON!!! CAFFREY HAS DT IN THE PROCCESS!! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!

Andrew Fulton : TAP!!! TAP!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : DT refusing to tap, 40 minutes have elapsed now, and he is holding onto his 2 – 1 lead, but if he doesn’t tap, he won’t be able to walk!

Andrew Fulton : Stupid pig headed stubbornness, if h tapped he could continue to fight, but if he keeps refusing, he may not ever wrestle again! Caffrey is going to snap that ankle!

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey can’t believe he isn’t tapping. He releases the hold in frustration, and look at him, he just ripped the boot of DT off. He flings it to the outside and he notices the hat of DT sitting near where it landed. Caffrey slides out of the ring and puts DT’s hat on and is prancing around in it mocking DT, the crowd laughing along, DT hobbles to one foot and swings at Caffrey but Caffrey easily avoids it.

Andrew Fulton :Caffrey then throws the hat down on the mat and stomps it. DT see’s red and lunges at Caffrey, taking him and just starts walloping him with some huge left hands.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey woke the raging bull!

Andrew Fulton : DT is punching away at Caffrey, but Caffrey slides out of it and PROCESS!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : HE HAS THE PROCESS ON AGAIN!!!

Andrew Fulton : Again right in the middle of the ring. DT is crawling and inching towards the ropes, but Caffrey has him grapevined, he isn’t going anywhere!

Jeremy Tucker : DT is still refusing to tap! This is madness, i give him full credit for being so staunch, but what about the rest of his career? Let alone just the rest of this match, we still have 12 minutes remaining, he can’t hold out that long.

Andrew Fulton : I think he is going to tap .....

Jeremy Tucker : No! He doesn’t, he grits his teeth and fights on, this is something folks.

Andrew Fulton : DT is inching closer to the ropes, he is going to make it Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : He does! He made it! But i fear the damage has already been done.

Andrew Fulton : Good, that’s what you cop for not tapping, a broken ankle!

Jeremy Tucker : I don’t know if it’s broken Andy.

Andrew Fulton : What are you? A Doctor, the guy can’t stand, let alone fight, the match is as good as over.

Jeremy Tucker : DT using the ropes to pull himself to his feet, this is a little uncomfortable to watch folks .... CLOSING REMARKS!!! (bullhammer elbow) Right to the kisser, Caffrey covers ....

One ......................

Two .......................

THREE!!!!!!

Frank Salazar : Winner of the fall, ANTHONY CAFFREY!!! Scores are now two falls each, only 6 minutes remaining.

Andrew Fulton : What if it’s a tie Andy? Do we go to overtime, or Caffrey retains?

Jeremy Tucker :I .... I don’t know.

Andrew Fulton : What good are you then?

Jeremy Tucker : Look at this, DT on one foot, is offering a handshake to Caffrey.

Andrew Fulton : He needs to get another pinfall, not shake his hand.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey accepts, then releases, then again, goes straight back to work on the ankle.

Andrew Fulton : He is stomping on it, over and over and over again.

Jeremy Tucker : I fear Death Trap will never be the same again after tonight.

Andrew Fulton : DT tries to get to his feet, but he collapses, he can’t stand up Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : PROCESS!!!! Caffrey has the process locked in AGAIN! This has got to be it.

Andrew Fulton : Three minutes to go, TAP!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : No way he will now. He has gone too long to tap now.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey is screaming at him to tap. Referee Vick Mackey is in there asking DT if he will submit, DT grimaces in pain and shakes his head in defiance.

Jeremy Tucker : What’s this?

We see Roxylishus jump up on the ring apron and call Mackey over, Mackey looks confused but stares at her doe eyed, and approaches her as she puts her siren charms on him. Caffrey screams at Mackey to ask him ...... WHAM! Timeless just cracked Caffrey right in the skull with a steel chair.

Andrew Fulton : YESSSS!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : NOOOOO!!!!! What is Timeless doing?

Andrew Fulton : He hates Caffrey Jerry, look at this!

Falcon Arrow onto the steel chair. Timeless grabs a crippled Death Trap and rolls him onto Caffrey.

Jeremy Tucker : This is not right. There is only ten seconds remaining. Roxylishus points to the cover to Mackey, and he drops for the count ....

One ........................

Two ......................

THREE!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Wowee. Four, three, two, ONE.

The bell rings.

Frank Salazar : Winner of the fall and NEW X-CROWN CHAMPION, winning Three falls to Two .... DEATH TRAP!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Damn that Timeless! Damn him to Hell!

Andrew Fulton : Easy Jerry. Look at this.

Timeless grabs the limp unconscious hand of Caffrey and shoves it into Death Traps exhausted hand and forces them to do a handshake.

Jeremy Tucker : This is ridiculous! The whole XHF is watching this match, Timeless can go to hell!

Mackey raises the hand of Death Trap in the air in victory, as he hobbles to one foot as "The Hard Sell" by Coheed and Cambria blares thru the arena and the show fades.