FWA Fusion Episode 16

[Solomon Graham]

EPISODE 16
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“Hello and salutations, once again, wrestling fans!! It is I, Solomon Graham, and I come to you from the comfort of my home office with a very special announcement regarding our Canada Day event on July 1st!

First and foremost, my match with Blair Sigma… as most of you know, I’m going to be pulling double duty on two different shows that day… I’ll be wrestling in Ireland at the Prince’s Ball, as well as here, in Ontario… Ottawa, Ontario, to be exact.

Now, that’s put me between a rock and a hard place, and you may be wondering… how does one get from Ireland to Ottawa, Ontario?? Well, here’s the facts… it’s not important how I manage to make it here from a place that’s one 7 hour flight away, what’s important is that I make it and believe me, nothing will keep me from kicking Blair Sigma’s ass!!

And, of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the other matches on the show, because… Duncan Aries WILL defend that FWA Professional Wrestling championship, belt or no belt, against a mystery opponent (and one that the XHF will know very well).

On top of that, we will have the winners of tonight’s No. 1 Contendership tournament taking on ALPHA for the Canadian Tag Team championship, and speaking of… if ALPHA gets involved, in ANY of the 3 Stages, he will be fired and stripped of the Tag Team championship (if he hasn’t already lost it, that is! Hahaha).

I know how bad ALPHA wants that receipt, but the thing is, ALPHA, I’ll not be having a tainted victory over Sigma because you let your need for a receipt get in the way of things! You want your receipt, you can wait until after the third stage is all said and done. Do I make myself clear? Oh, and if Marco Cruze has anything to say about this, he can’t go through my personal assistant. I don’t have time to deal with people spewing bullshit.

And there are a couple other matches planned for that show as well. Such as…

Lee Stevens vs. Paul Wilson

Liam Bradley challenging Vic Wheeler for the Television title (because I think Liam deserves a second chance. And this time, Matt Noble will NOT be the official)

And lastly, for now at least…

Ryu Matsumura WILL defend the Canadian championship against newcomer Devon Ryker!!

In any case, that’s all for now regarding that show, folks, but before I go, I would like to address my two opponents at the Prince’s Ball.

Alice Gamer and Joe Nobody… ohhh fuck. And what’s worse?! It’s a Deathmatch! A “Lights Out” Deathmatch... well, double-fuck!

Y’see, there’s only three things I hate in this great sport of ours:

Anything relating to Hardcore/Deathmatch Wrestling, high spots where there shouldn’t be any… and names that don’t pass the name test! Like, who the fuck would pay to see Joe Nobody based on the name alone?! I know I wouldn’t! His name says everything about him for you. He’s a fuckin’ nobody, and nevermind the fact that he’s done nothing of note. Then, there’s Alice Gamer… god-fucking-dammit!

I mean, y’all know that I game… but it ain’t my fuckin’ gimmick and I don’t go around calling myself “DANK MEME BOI” SoloManGamer9142001! I mean, Goddamn pal… what kind of casual fan would buy tickets to see these assholes, nevermind the fact that it’s Deathmatch Trash? You’d have to be really goddamn demented.

Either way, one thing’s for certain… regardless of whatever match type it is, I’m going to beat them both. I’m going to beat them until they can no longer stand. And then, I’ll go ahead and move on to face Blair Sigma and beat his ass, too!

And now, I’m really signing off! Enjoy the show, everybody.”
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Weeaboo Jones gets into the ring, with the ever confused and aroused look and demeanor, bodypillow with “The Waifu” on it in tow. He looks both nervous and terrified, as suddenly, a purple lightning bolt strikes the FWA podium! The lights turn a deep shade of blue, a thick white fog fills the studio floor and Jeffrey Shaw sits perched on the ledge of the podium, exactly where the lightning bolt struck. Weeaboo Jones falls to his ass, scared out of his mind, as The Reptilian Jeffrey Shaw eyes him with eyes that could pierce the soul, using his snake tongue to lick his scaly lips as he smiles, revealing two rows of sharp, jagged, glistening white teeth. He then speaks.

SHAW - Greetings, Lost Souls. It is I, the right hand man of… HIM… and you may be wondering… just where is HE?! The lord and saviour was not satisfied with his current appearance. Quite frankly, it disgusts him to look in the mirror and still see… Jooey Grymm… where HE should be standing. Thus, he has gone away for a little while.

In the meantime, however… he has asked ME to wrestle his matches for him. Last week, he was supposed to face the scum of the earth. As such, I will be facing the scum of the earth this week, seeing as HE never showed up to wrestle him last week.

Weeb… yer gonna DIE!!!!

From there, another lightning bolt strikes the corner across from Weeaboo Jones, and Jeffrey Shaw appears where the lightning bolt struck. He is on one knee, but it seems Weeaboo Jones can never escape his psychotic gaze. Referee Matt Noble calls for the bell to start this match, clearly just as terrified of Jeffrey Shaw as Weeaboo Jones is.

OPENER
Weeaboo Jones
vs.
Jeffrey Shaw

This was relatively short (as most Weeaboo Jones matches are), and it ended with Jeffrey Shaw hitting him with the Roar Of The Lion (The lights in the arena go out, and when they come back up, Jeffrey is pinning his opponent).

1.

2.

3.

DING DING DING

Winner: Jeffrey Shaw by pinfall

Jeffrey would grab Weeaboo by the hair and bend him back, mimicking the motion of slitting Weeb’s throat, before STOMPING down his head. Then, lightning struck his feet and he, along with the fog and lighting, vanished, leaving Weeaboo Jones knocked out in the ring and Matt Noble to attend to him.
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The local wrestler, Pete Van Vliet, stood in the ring, waiting for his opponent.

CHEYENNE - Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the FWA podium at this time, “ENDGAME” CHRISTOPHER!!!!!

“EndGame” Christopher then burst through the curtain to a relatively big pop. He walks over to the podium, looking around the studio as he does so.

CHEYENNE - Welcome to the FWA, Uncle Jim!

She holds the mic out to him as he continues to look, but eventually, his eye catches the mic. He looks at his step-niece and then at the audience.

CHRISTOPHER - Thanks for the warm welcome, Cheyenne. And I thank all of you *motions to the audience*, as well!

The fans cheer again, obviously fully behind him.

CHEYENNE - Now, let me ask one question: Just what are you doing in the FWA? I mean, considering your involvement in EWS right now, I’m surprised they’re letting you do this.

CHRISTOPHER - That’s a good question. And the answer… is that this run, the one that kicks off the minute I set foot in that ring… will be my last in Professional Wrestling!

The fans are in shock, even Van Vliet is not sure what to make of that statement.

CHRISTOPHER - Hear me out. I’ve been doing this for nigh three decades at this point, and I’m nearing the end of my rope. My body is broken, I’m beat as all hell and the real kicker… is that if it weren’t for me being so burnt out and frustrated with this industry, I’d continue through the pain and go all the way until I was 70! The fact is that as much as I love this business, I’m so sick of the bullshit, it’s not even funny. And that’s why my career is coming to an end. Starting today, and ending on June 13th next year, my run with the FWA will be a banger, lemme promise ya that!

The fans cheer, obviously coming to an understanding about this whole situation. Christopher then walks over to the ring, hops onto the ring apron, wipes his feet and steps through the ropes, looking across at the young Van Vliet.

MATCH NO. 2
Pete Van Vliet (Local)
Vs.
“EndGame” Christopher

This one was also rather quick, as Christopher made the local kid shine, while also getting himself over. It ended with “EndGame” NAILING Van Vliet with the Go to Sleep, before grabbing his arm and locking him in The Crunch (Crippler Crossface) to seal the deal, forcing the kid to submit.

Winner: “EndGame” Christopher by submission

Referee Matt Noble raised Christopher’s hand in victory, and “EndGame” would help the young kid to his feet, shaking his hand and raising it for a job well done.
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The Push came out, dancing and having fun. They entered the ring and waited for the Apex. Then, out came Mr. E, and Ian Dempsey. Ian would yell out to the audience.

“Introducing, Mr. E’s NEW Tag Team partner…”

He then motioned to the entrance curtain behind them. They would pause in place, for a full 10 seconds as the fans booed them. Then, Ian Dempsey reached down the front of his trunks and pulled out a white mask, stretching it out and putting it over his head and face. He then looked to the audience and raised his hand high in the air.

“EL FRANCHISMO!!!!!”

The booing of the fans turned to that of annoyed jeering, sorta like “Go Away” heat, but less go away and more like “You’re an awesome worker and you’re entertaining as fuck, but we hate the character you portray and we’re gonna let you know about it!” The two men then rolled into the ring and attacked The Push.

MATCH NO. 3
The Apex (Mr. E and El Franchismo)
vs.
The Push (Jimmy Reynolds and Timmy McDermott)
No. 1 Contendership to the Canadian Tag Team championship Mini-Tournament Round 1

This one was fairly straight-forward, as The Push maintained control throughout the match, only giving it up when the Apex cheated to take it. The match ended when El Franchismo had Jimmy Reynolds down on the mat. He had just attempted a pinfall, only getting a 2-count. He tried it again, breaking it at one. Then again, breaking it at one. He tried it one final time, but still broke it at one. He then got to his feet and started jumping around excitedly, exclaiming “THAT’S THREE!!! THAT’S THREE!!!” All the while, Mr. E stood on the ring apron, raising both of his arms in the air.

However, referee Edgar Brown would inform Franchismo that it was, in fact, NOT a 3-count, as a 3-count requires him to actually count to three. Franchismo would argue with him. “YOUR HAND SLAPPED THE MAT THREE TIMES!!! WE WIN!!!” But little did Franchismo notice, Timmy McDermott, still on the ring apron, had come up beside him, spinning him around to face him and PUNCHING him square in the face. Franchismo fell back, tripping over Jimmy Reynolds, and Jimmy would hook the leg and force his shoulders down to the mat.

1.

2.

3.

DING DING DING

Winners: The Push: Jimmy Reynolds and Timmy McDermott

The two would celebrate by dancing for the audience in the ring, with El Chico even coming out with Avocado Jr. to dance with them. In the ring, Mr. E and El Franchismo were pissed, with Franchismo throwing a temper tantrum. He tears the mask off, ripping it to shreds, and then Ian would stomp on it, proclaiming that

“I. WILL. HOLD. GOLD. AGAAAAAAIN-naaaahhhh!!!!”

he then dramatically gasps for air, as Mr. E turns him around and knocks him out again, before taking him over his shoulders and walking through the curtain.
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MAIN EVENT
“Marvel Of The Modern Era” Lee Stevens
vs.
Vic Wheeler ©
FWA Television championship

This match was definitely main event quality, with action-packed action, high impact offense from both sides, and it all moved at a very fast pace. Lee Stevnes wanted that championship (and it showed in his performance), as did Vic Wheeler, the reigning, defending champion. But… mid-way through the match, Paul Wilson came down to ringside, chair in tow… but instead of whacking someone over the head with it, he set it up at ringside and sat down. Lee became weary of his presence, as did Wheeler… but it wasn’t until Liam Bradley came down to ringside that the two went into full-on defense mode.

They tried to continue the match, but both Wilson and Liam Bradley being there really threw a wrench into things, as neither man could really focus. They couldn’t continue with their two arch-rivals there at ringside… and eventually, their suspicions came true. Liam Bradley and Paul Wilson both slid into the ring at the exact same time and attacked their respective rivals (Wilson - Stevens, Bradley - Wheeler), beating them both down with the chair and the umbrella, all the while Edgar Brown called for the “This match has been thrown out” bell.

Result: This match was thrown out on the grounds that Lee Stevens and Vic Wheeler were attacked

Wilson then picked Lee up to his feet, onto his shoulders in an Argentine Backbreaker position, and NAILED him with the Maple Leaf Driver (Psycho Driver), while Bradley lifted Wheeler to his feet and nailed him with the Art of Infamy (Argentine Backbreaker transitioned into a Knee Lift)! Wilson and Bradley looked down at their fallen rivals, admiring their handiwork, before turning and exiting the ring. The last image of this episode is Vic Wheeler and Lee Stevens laid out on the mat, bloodied and beaten.