The King
.::XHF Superstar::.
| 1x FWA Professional Wrestling Champion | | 3x DW World Champion | |1x XHF European Champion|
Posts: 987
|
Post by The King on Jun 26, 2020 11:50:01 GMT -5
xhf09.proboards.com/thread/15398/lies-messiah-princes-ball?page=1&scrollTo=63436Just a little background on those new to the character of Swann: - In his past he fought under the alias Prince Demonio, but eventually lost the mask to Bobby Barratt at AXW's premier event in a six man tag match. When he was 'Prince Demonio' he would often speak to himself and have an inner voice, his inner demon.
- He was recently the DW World Heavyweight Champion, having not just won the title but also having won 100% ownership of the company officially making him the 'King of Destiny'.
- Swann is a very deranged, psychopathic sociopathic individual who is often his own enemy when it comes to mindset and ability. Anger and hatred fuels him.
|
|
Shaw
.::XHF Newcomer::.
Posts: 40
|
Post by Shaw on Jun 26, 2020 13:59:24 GMT -5
This is kind of a bulk reply in regard to what I see as a really widespread problem.
Stop centering your text. Left Align, please. There is a reason you aren't reading books with center alignment, it's really difficult to read.
Otherwise, this is fine.
|
|
|
Post by Kyle on Jun 26, 2020 17:55:59 GMT -5
I liked the formatting of the header. I was hoping for more dialogue in comparison to the amount of description.
The mask was a very nice touch. The promo itself reminded me a lot of ORION's recent switch over to ARYX in AWF.
|
|
|
Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jun 26, 2020 18:52:26 GMT -5
What's wrong with center alignment? A lot of peeps have been using it for a long time on the site and this is the first complaint I've heard.
|
|
|
Post by anthonycaffrey on Jun 26, 2020 23:47:09 GMT -5
What's wrong with center alignment? A lot of peeps have been using it for a long time on the site and this is the first complaint I've heard. I know Soutter hates it too, the lining up can sometimes get to be a bit bulky, if you know what I mean, compared to it being smooth and to the left. I have no opinion but I've recently made the move to go more with left-aligned and it's no issue to me and if it's how my RP scorers like it, I do it. I know Soutter hates it too the lining up can sometimes get to be a bit bulky, if you know what I mean, compared to it being smooth and to the left . I have no opinion but I've recently made the move to go more with left-aligned and it's no issue to me and if it's how my RP scorers like it, I do it.
|
|
bloodiedfox
Special GUNS Acess
Fox. King. Cryptid. Stoner. Ripper. Cult. Skeleton.
Posts: 918
|
Post by bloodiedfox on Jun 27, 2020 3:35:02 GMT -5
Personally I like switching between center aligned and left aligned to differentiate between when the character is doing to camera promo and when they're being more conversational
|
|
Shaw
.::XHF Newcomer::.
Posts: 40
|
Post by Shaw on Jun 27, 2020 9:14:42 GMT -5
I like reading. Text should left aligned, as that is how every text in the modern English language is formatted. Center items occasionally to highlight a point is totally acceptable.
Using it all of the time, doesn't serve the writer or the writing. I hope this clarifies my feedback?
|
|
|
Post by Robbie A on Jun 27, 2020 16:50:11 GMT -5
I like reading. Text should left aligned, as that is how every text in the modern English language is formatted. Center items occasionally to highlight a point is totally acceptable. Using it all of the time, doesn't serve the writer or the writing. I hope this clarifies my feedback? I prefer to see things in left or fully justified, but it also depends on the rp. I recently did one in centre align because it actually helped the flow and different elements to what I wrote. To dismiss the alignment as you have, and to justify it with “I like reading” is a bit condescending to me, if it’s not how you like to see them that’s cool, and totally your opinion, but this is ultimately a creative space and something like that shouldn’t be the banner point of critique in this section.
|
|
|
Post by Robbie A on Jun 27, 2020 16:55:13 GMT -5
Ps. Swann, really enjoying the blurring together of all the Swann personas to develop him as he matures. Honestly it did feel that you couldn’t quite nail down what you wanted from him in the past. Now you’re starting to put some roots down and really develop him. The only thing you’ll need to be wary of is making sure that it’s clear what parts you are picking from as you go along, I’m sure you will but that’s the main area I could see getting messy if you’re not careful.
|
|
Kira Izumi
J-ROK Staff
XHF's Resident Weeb
Posts: 5,920
|
Post by Kira Izumi on Jun 27, 2020 17:51:52 GMT -5
i really enjoyed the rp. like the joining of swann and demonio and him having a limit on it. it was nice how you are joining together all the stories from all the feds your in too. nice job imo. also like the adition of color and line breaks or whatever that line is. it helps make it easier to read imo.
|
|
MYŌJIN
.::XHF Superstar::.
FKA Draven | Former X*Crown Champion | Former XHF JHW Champion
Posts: 836
|
Post by MYŌJIN on Jun 27, 2020 18:17:47 GMT -5
This was probably one of your best rps, Swann. I've been enjoying your recent stuff a lot. The way you're starting to link Swann's past gimmicks together into a more coherent, fleshed-out character has been a really fun development to read through.
|
|
Shaw
.::XHF Newcomer::.
Posts: 40
|
Post by Shaw on Jun 27, 2020 20:20:30 GMT -5
I like reading. Text should left aligned, as that is how every text in the modern English language is formatted. Center items occasionally to highlight a point is totally acceptable. Using it all of the time, doesn't serve the writer or the writing. I hope this clarifies my feedback? I prefer to see things in left or fully justified, but it also depends on the rp. I recently did one in centre align because it actually helped the flow and different elements to what I wrote. To dismiss the alignment as you have, and to justify it with “I like reading” is a bit condescending to me, if it’s not how you like to see them that’s cool, and totally your opinion, but this is ultimately a creative space and something like that shouldn’t be the banner point of critique in this section. I don't see it as condescending. But I certainly take your point in regards to it. Easy adjustment.
|
|