Battleground #29 : Born for Greatness (Show)

[SWAT Team]

(The show returns from commercials for Kentucky's Bureau of Tourism, TV spots for Timeless Alex Turner and Roxylishus's Reality TV series, SWAT Magazine and "Lucky" Linda La Fey in a bourbon commercial before fading to ringside where ringsiders are holding signs that say "Soutter's Special!," "Frostbite got SWAT in the face!," "Sour Krauss!," "Pot O' Gold Linda!," "Alex Time's Up Turner!" and "Bow down to Yorlick!" before fading to the broadcast table where Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton are sitting wearing headphones.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back to Battleground 29 and this next match is highly anticipated."

Andrew Fulton: "Hell this is the next chapter in KGB's feud with their former leader Soutter. Hell, the whole KGB is feuding with Soutter after the screw job they gave each other. Soutter obviously had the right idea to pick the two biggest suckers to team with him against the KGB."

Jeremy Tucker: "It so happens Krauss came to Soutter's aid which doesn't make him a sucker and that doesn't make Linda La Fey a sucker either since she's pure SWAT. He had his pick of the roster and chose those two."

Andrew Fulton: "Didn't you hear Frostbite warning not to trust Armand von Krauss. Hell, I'd take Frostbite's word over Soutter's."

Jeremy Tucker: "Yeah and he also said he was dying of cancer but that's probably a lie. Besides, I'd take Jade's word over anything Frostbite says and anything Timeless Alex turner says and does anytime.""

Andrew Fulton: "Says you, Timeless is smarter than the average wrestler."

Jeremy Tucker: "Right the average wrestler wouldn't screw the X-Crown Champion out his championship since he could have gotten a championship title match sometime down the line. Now Death Trap is strutting around both the XHF and MCCW with the X-Crown and he's bragging about it right this instant."

Andrew Fulton: "Minor setback but Timeless will fulfill his destiny and don't forget what he said about sacrificing his title shot. That X-Crown will be his prize one day."

Jeremy Tucker: "If he defects to MCCW which won't happen and we all know Zoran had plenty to do with it. He used Timeless to screw Caffery and he's screwed Timeless at the same time and you know it."

Andrew Fulton: "Come on Zoran's a nice guy who would do anything to satisfy the roster."

Jeremy Tucker: "That's a lie and you know it and I know it. Zoran put him up to it for revenge so he doesn't have to brag about it and then he'll steal the championship when the time comes."

Andrew Fulton: "Come on Zoran did it to save SWAT from being embarrassed and he just wants to make SWAT truly great."

Jeremy Tucker: "SWAT is great but Kommisar Zoran's match making has made SWAT a virtual laughing stock. I heard J-Rok makes better matches than SWAT. No wonder SWAT can't attract fresh talent due to his stupid immature stunts."

Andrew Fulton: "SWAT got plenty of respect when Zoran and Timeless participated in Call To Arms compared to Linda and The Hired Killers who made fools out of themselves."

Jeremy Tucker: "By way of their usual dirty tricks and they still lost in Call To Arms especially Zoran."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah....Yeah....Blah.....Blah....Blame Zoran also for the staff shortage to pay Linda her prize money."

Jeremy Tucker: "Luckily Zoran finally coughed up with the chq owing since January, right now let's get to the ring for the introductions."

Frank Salazar: "This next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Some Holler, WV. He comes in at 6'1" and weighs in at 255lbs. He is a member of The KGB and is known as 'The Hillbilly Assassin.' Please welcome James Fierce."

(The strum of a banjo brings the red blood splatter on the video board as "Evil on my Mind" by .357 String Band plays and James Fierce walks out onto the stage. to boos. He looks left and then right slowly shaking his head before a smile crosses his face.)

Andrew Fulton: "As usual Yorlick has blessed James Fierce his most avid supporter."

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Boulder, Co. He comes in at 6ft and weighs in at 225lbs. He is a member of the KGB...."

Andrew Fulton: "Like duh!"

Frank Salazar: "He is 'The Cold Hearted Bastard.' Please welcome Frostbite."

("Seek and Destroy" by Metallica plays as we see Lotus flying on the Titantron for a few seconds as more and more join in, until days turns to night as the image fades out, and the next image you see is tanks firing in the air, and right after that image we see soldiers walking in unison and that image fades out and another of a huge nuclear explosion as you see nothing but ashes and dust of a city. The lights in the arena go completely dark for a few seconds as it comes back up a blue light is seen up the show of the steps as someone is standing up there wearing a grey hoodie with their head down. As they slowly pick up their head, we can see an intense look in their blue eyes, we see that it is Frostbite.
He takes a walk down the steps as fans reach out and touch his hands and broad shoulders. As he stops midway looking into the crowd as he nods his head as the crowd boos but some chant his name. He gets to the bottom of the step, he climbs over the barricade. He quickly takes off his hoodie and hands it over to some fan at ringside. He turns his attention to the ring and his opponent with an intense look in his blue eyes. He continues to look at his opponent not taking his eye off his opponent as the lights turn back to normal and his music fades as he is ready for war.)

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from New Hope, Minnesatta, he comes in at 6'3" and weighs in at 262lbs. He is a member of The KGB and is accompanied by Foxy Roxylishus. Please welcome Timeless Alex Turner."

(Orion-Eternity [Chill out version] hits and Turner struts don the aisle, glaring at the crowd with contempt and disgust. Roxylishus stops to interact with one of the crowd, then wretches and turns away heading to the ring, she gets up on the apron and holds the ropes down for Turner.)

(Roxylishus grabs the mic and passes it to Turner.)

Timeless: "I got passion in my pants and I'm not afraid to show it!"

Crowd: "I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!"

Timeless: "No! (Holding his hand up to block them) You're not! I (He points to himself with his thumb) AM!"

(Timeless drops the mic and saunters smugly around the ring impressed.)

Frank Salazar: "And introducing their opponents … from Cologne, Germany. He comes in at 6'2"and weighs in at 245lbs. He is the former owner of RSW and The Krimson Karnival. Please welcome Armand von Krauss."

("Circus Apocalypse" by Vermillion Lies plays and Armand von Krauss walks out from the back. He looks around at the crowd with an arrogant smirk before lighting up an Egyptian cigarette. He walks down to the ring while smoking his cigarette, soaking in the boos from the crowd. Onc he gets down to the ring, he flicks the cigarette butt into the crowd. He steps through the ropes and leans in the corner.)

Andrew Fulton: "I'm disappointed in Armand von Krauss."

Jeremy Tucker: "Oh really do tell why you're disappointed."

Andrew Fulton: "I wanted to try one of his high class Egyptian cigarette butts."

Jeremy Tucker: "Why did I bother asking."

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Dublin, Ireland. She comes in at 5'8" and weighs in at 130lbs. She is 'The Heart and Soul' of SWAT and captain of Team SWAT and currently SWAT Amazons Women's Champion. Please welcome 'Lucky' Linda La Fey."

("Linger" by Cranberries hits and "Lucky" Linda makes her way down the rampway, high fiving the fans.)

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Melbourne, Australia. He comes in at 6'2" and weighs in at a fighting fit and trim 364lbs. He's the FOUNDER of SWAT!!! Please welcome "The Mad Dog," "The Suit," and the "Big Bad Bustling Bandit" Soutter."

("Rip it Up[“ by 28 Days hits and the ringsiders roar as Soutter comes to ringside. He enters the ring dressed in his KGB ring attire angering the KGB.)

Andrew Fulton: "Soutter better watch himself since the KGB's going to be out to kick his ass all over the place."

Jeremy Tucker: "He's just reminding his former running buddies who's still running things in SWAT. The bell rings and this match is underway."

Andrew Fulton: "If Soutter starts this match off it's going to be a 3-1 handicap match since they all hate his guts."

Jeremy Tucker: "Make it 4-1 since I don't trust Armand von Krauss to be a tag partner. It was a terrible idea."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh two fed heads teaming up isn't trustworthy but the KGB working together is trustworthy."

Jeremy Tucker: "Soutter could have chosen Kim of The Hired Killers or Team Fairtex or even Psychotic Goth who would have been glad to face The KGB being they hate their guts even more. They could be trusted more than Armand von Krauss."

Andrew Fulton: "You're just jealous because he enjoys the best things in life."

Jeremy Tucker: "He's a sleazy competitor like Zoran but a bit more honest which is being too complimentary and much too kind to him. The bell rings and this match is underway. Timeless starts off for the KGB and Armand starts off for his team and wastes no time locking up."

Andrew Fulton: "Timeless armdrags Armand with such beauty as usual followed by a beautiful dropkick. Now that's real classic wrestling by a real classic wrestler and he shows he's impressed with himself."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well Armand doesn't seem impressed by Timeless and he German suplex's Alex not once but three times climaxing with an overhead throw. Timeless rolls out of the ring holding his back while Roxylishus rubs his back and the other KGB members console and talk to him. Armand mocks Timeless strutting with his arms out. Timeless rolls back into the ring still holding his back."

Andrew Fulton: "Timeless is being smart. They lock up again and Alex executes another beautiful armdrag and this time cinches in an armbar before tagging in Frostbite. He enters gingerly due to his possible cancer and proceeds to deliver a series of stiff knee strikes."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite delivers a series of stiff knife edge chops to the chest and throat of Armand. He stumbles into his corner and Linda tags in. Frostbite motions for her to bring it on even though he claims to be sick."

Andrew Fulton: "It's a rematch from months ago after Linda embarrassed him and that's probably when he knew he was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to reveal it. They lock up and Frostbite forces Linda into the corner and delivers a series of hard knife edge chops to her chest and throat."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite whips Linda into the ropes and misses with a clothesline. Linda comes back with a much better dropkick than Jonnie Valentine and Alex Turner."

Andrew Fulton: "You better not let them hear that or they may make you regret what you said."

Jeremy Tucker: "Yeah telling the truth is a crime. Linda follows up with another dropkick and delivers some stiff European uppercuts. Armand looks impressed by those uppercuts despite that dishonest smile."

Andrew Fulton: "There goes the evil sleazy CEO stereotype again."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well, he is sleazy. Linda whips Frostbite into the ropes and dropkicks him again before following up with a series of IRA kicks to his body and head. Frostbite desperately rolls to his corner to tag James Fierce in."

Andrew Fulton: "James doesn't want to tag in and points to Soutter. Linda backs off and she looks around at the ringsiders and she goes to her corner and high fives Soutter in. and Fierce comes charging in and both begin brawling in the center of the ring."

Jeremy Tucker: "Soutter gets the better of the exchange and forces Fierce into the ropes. He charges Fierce and clotheslines him over the ropes and out of the ring and Fierce lands hard. Soutter follows and he finds a chair and starts beating him with it. Soutter throws it aside and throws Fierce back into the ring and bodyslams him with authority."

Jeremy Tucker: "Soutter just dropped a leg on Fierce's chest and makes the cover for a one count. Soutter whips him into the corner and avalanches him."

Andrew Fulton: "Soutter takes him over to his corner and tags in Armand who introduces to his Three Amigos. He quickly follows up with another of his patented Germans with an overhead throw before making the cover for a two count."

Jeremy Tucker: "Armand whips James into the ropes secretly tagging Timeless who kicks Armand in the head followed by a swinging neckbreaker. He follows with a series of elbows to Armand's chest."

Andrew Fulton: "You can tell Alex is steamed after being embarrassed by Armand von Krauss. Alex is stomping a mudhole into him while mocking Soutter and calls to Roxylishus to give him something and she finds a Singapore cane which he proceeds to use to beat Armand over the head with and he's busted open."

Jeremy Tucker: "I guess Timeless graduated from chairs."

Andrew Fulton: "He is the master of not only time and space but weaponry apparently."

Jeremy Tucker: "Please. Timeless continues to bust Armand's head open with that Singapore cane and continues to scream Soutter's name even though he's not even in the ring."

Andrew Fulton: "Timeless just tagged in Frostbite and holds Armand down as Frostbite executes a Rolling Thunder and Alex leaves the ring. Frostbite charges and knocks both Linda and Soutter off the ring apron before setting up that battered chair and suplexing Armand onto it."

Jeremy Tucker: "I guess that's the only true way Frostbite can beat Soutter and Linda. Frostbite whips Armand into the corner and charges in but Armand counters with a big boot and a throat punch."

Andrew Fulton: "Desperate move by Armand. He slowly makes his way to his corner as Linda gets back into the ring apron. Frostbite tackles him but Linda manages to stretch out and secretly tags in which is unfair and the referee knows it."

Jeremy Tucker: "So if the KGB did the same thing that would be legal but if Soutter's team or anyone else's team does it it's illegal."

Andrew Fulton: "You betcha."

Jeremy Tucker: "Why am I not surprised. Linda belly to belly suplex's Frostbite. She charges and double dropkicks Alex and Fierce, but Alex inadvertently knocks into Roxylishus who was knocked out."

Andrew Fulton: "Disqualify Linda for what she did to poor helpless Roxylishus."

Jeremy Tucker: "Poor Roxy. She teams with Timeless Alex Turner and that makes her a professional wrestler which means she isn't close to being helpless."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah that's my definition of helpless while describing Roxy. Linda executes an exploder suplex. She makes the cover for a close two count and now she mounts and ground and pounds Frostbite relentlessly."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite crawls over to his corner as Linda does the same tagging in Soutter who comes in and quickly goes after Frostbite smiling like a hungry crocodile. Frostbite's pleading with Soutter about him dying of cancer."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh come on said he was diagnosed with the possibility of cancer and he could die at any moment. Hell, he could even die in this match and you know who would be to blame, Paul. So who's going to be guilty about Frostbite's death."

Jeremy Tucker: "Nobody would care if he died during this match or in any match and nobody would feel guilty for it."

Andrew Fulton: "That's cruel and inhuman and you know it. Soutter continues to listen to Frostbite's pleas but he's smiling coyly and is showing no sympathy. Frostbite suddenly pulls Soutter by the tights and rams him into the corner."

Jeremy Tucker: "Yeah for a dying man he sure looked healthy enough to execute that sneaky move. He also seems to be healthy enough to open up a can of whoop ass. Frostbite leaves the ring and finds an icepick before returning to the ring and starts carving Soutter's head."

Andrew Fulton: "Frostbite must be a bloodthirsty vampire like Joanne Canelli being he's biting Soutter's head. He delivers a series of headbutts before stomping a mudhole into Soutter. He whips him into the corner and stinger splashes Suit."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite tags in James Fierce who charges in with a vicious clothesline. He delivers a series of clubbing punches before wrapping Soutter's arm around the ring rope and cranks it further hurting that arm."

Andrew Fulton: "Looks like Fierce is hungry too since he's biting Soutter's fingers while the referee's being distracted. Linda spins past the referee like a football player dodging a defensive lineman. She Stinger Splashes Fierce breaking up the move before flying out of the ring before the referee forces her out. Fierce delivers a series of stiff knife edge chops before he starts kicking Soutter's legs and knees."

Jeremy Tucker: "Soutter Chops at Fierce and shoves him away but Fierce continues to work on Soutter's kegs and knees."

Andrew Fulton: "The only way to take down the big guy is to go after his legs and knees. Fierce continues to work on Soutter's legs and knees before dragging him out of the corner and he forces Soutter to his knees before applying a straitjacket."

Jeremy Tucker: "Fierce continues to pull back with his knee still in Soutter's back. The referee's checking on Soutter asking if he wants to submit but he refuses. Linda again storms into the ring with a superkick before flying out of the ring."

Andrew Fulton: "Soutter makes his way to his corner but Frostbite storms the ring and knocks Armand off the ring apron while Roxylishus pulls Linda off and split legged moonsaults onto her before returning to her corner smugly."

Jeremy Tucker: "That was mean and unfair."

Andrew Fulton: "It was orgasmic. Fierce and Frostbite double team Soutter and Frostbite leaves the ring and waits for Fierce to tag him in. Frostbite is officially tagged in and he continues to work on that leg and knee."

Jeremy Tucker: "Yeah that's really legal unlike Soutter and his team despite slimy Armand."

Andrew Fulton: "Years of frustration is being unleashed as he intends to take it all out on Soutter and burn SWAT down with KGB assistance. Frostbite gets into his face and starts slapping him silly before face shoving Soutter mocking him."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite tags in Timeless and they set him up for a double suplex but Soutter blocks it and suplex's both Timeless and Frostbite. All three are down as the referee checks on all three and starts counting."

Andrew Fulton: "All three slowly and Soutter makes his way to his corner but Frostbite grabs his leg and Timeless drops a series of elbows to his back. Armand comes in and breaks it up and thus showing he can be trustworthy."

Jeremy Tucker: "That was just a matter of convenience. Armand delivers a lung blower before leaving the ring leaving both Timeless and Soutter alone in the ring. Timeless cinches in a guillotine choke and he has it in tight."

Andrew Fulton: "Timeless tightens the hold and the referee is checking to see if Soutter wants to submit but being the no brained hard head that he is refuses to do so. Soutter picks up Timeless and he powerbombs him but Timeless still retains control of the choke. He does it again and manages to loosen the hold before pressing forward pinning Timeless's arms forcing him to release the hold."

Jeremy Tucker: "Timeless again cinches in the guillotine choke and he seems determined to keep it on and choke the life out of Soutter as the referee checks again and see if Soutter wants to tap out but refuses to do so. Soutter looks like he's fading but miraculously holds on and he running bucklebombs Timeless into the corner and both seem to be down."

Andrew Fulton: "The referee counts them both down as both slowly stir and Timeless uses the ropes to get back to his feet and waits before delivering a series of clubbing roundhouse elbows. He executes an exploder suplex which is much better and more magnificent than Linda's lame version."

Jeremy Tucker: "I'll take Linda's exploder suplex over Timeless's exploder anytime."

Andrew Fulton: "Tell Roxylishus that and she'll tell Timeless to give you an exploder."

Jeremy Tucker: "Timeless delivers knee strike after knee strike but Soutter is psyching himself up. Soutter eggs him on and Timeless being foolish like he is continues to throw punch after punch while Soutter smiles taunting him to hit him harder as if he's enjoying it."

Andrew Fulton: "Showing why Soutter lost control of both the KGB and SWAT. He has no brains in that totally empty skull of his and that's being too kind to our former owner. Don't forget Joe Pesci was revered by Timeless and he never forgave Soutter for not helping him when Radu Matei destroyed his career as owner of SWAT. Now Timeless is getting his revenge on Soutter for what he did to Pesci."

Jeremy Tucker: "Apparently that's what Suit is doing to Timeless for his betrayal of him. Soutter whips Timeless into the ropes and Armand barely gets out of the way. Armand just hit Linda in the head with a hard elbow and she's knocked out cold. I knew he couldn't be trusted."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh come on He was just trying to get out of the way and Linda just got hit accidentally."

Jeremy Tucker: ""I still think he did that intentionally. Soutter belly to belly suplex's Timeless and now he roars and makes a cutthroat gesture. He picks up Timeless and sets him up for a Soutter Special as Armand takes out an Egyptian cigarette and starts smoking nonchalantly.
Soutter once again sets Timeless up and delivers a second Soutter Special."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh please Armand's torturing me."

Jeremy Tucker: "How is he torturing you."

Andrew Fulton: "I want one of those fancy Egyptian cigarettes. Hell, I'll take the butt of that cigarette. Come on Armand I'll do anything to have one."

Jeremy Tucker: "You can do his slave work and he still won't let you have one."

Andrew Fulton: "I know he will. Armand just entered the ring still smoking his Egyptian cigarette and goes up to Soutter and he rubs the butt into Suit's head and jams it into his head and the ashes get into Soutter's eyes."

Jeremy Tucker: "Armand rubs the butt of the cigarette into Soutter's face and more ashes get into his eyes. He sets Soutter up and Drill tips Suit before he tells Timeless to roll onto him while the referee is distracted by Roxylishus.."

Andrew Fulton: "Armand didn't want Soutter to steal the show like he always does and taught him a lesson."

Jeremy Tucker: "I knew from the beginning that he couldn't be trusted. Timeless barely manages to get on top of Soutter and manages to hook the leg and the referee drops down and counts this injustice....One....Two....Three."

Frank Salazar: "Your winners at 19mins. The KGB."

Jeremy Tucker: "The KGB steals one with an assist from one backstabbing slimy Armand von Krauss."

Andrew Fulton: "He did what he thought was right and knocked Soutter down a few pegs for stealing the spotlight all the time."

Jeremy Tucker: "Armand only looks out for himself and that's all he cares about."

Andrew Fulton: "No crime in that."

Jeremy Tucker: "In singles matches not in tag or six-man matches."

Andrew Fulton: "Same thing but different situations."

Jeremy Tucker: "Either way Armand von Krauss is going to answer to Soutter somewhere down the line in the future. Look at this, Fierce and Frostbite are embracing Armand, all three help Timeless back to his feet, Roxylishus throws something to Armand, it’s a t shirt, he is putting it on, a KGB t shirt! The Bandits just swerved the King of the Swerve himself!

[The new KGB theme blares thru the arena and the Bandits leave ringside, taunting the fans and Linda in the ring cradling Soutter head.]

[King Syberus]

[Fade into a stand up comedy stage, the current act is just finishing. It's a cramped, hot and sweaty venue with a hundred or so in attendance.]



Dra'vell Wolliams: “And that is why you could only have one white character on Different World at a time.



[The crowd are in red faced hysterics. Dra'vell gives them a wave.]



Dra'vell Wolliams: “Y'all been beautiful. Peter my man, stay classy”.



[He fists bumps with the chubby middle aged guy on the front row he roasted earlier who's only just catching his breath. Dra'vell leaves the stage and high fives “Hard to Follow” Jonnie Valentine on his way past to continue as host.]



”Hard to Follow” Jonnie Valentine: “Dra'vell Wolliams, ladies and gentlemen. Always a class act. We are halfway through Jonnie's Ha Ha Showcase and I gotta say. We were really supposed to move more chicken Kiev than this.



(Audience laughs)



Jonnie Valentine: No seriously, it was a really great special. You got the loaded mashed potatoes, and your choice of vegetables or more mashed potatoes. I really think some of you should re-consider, because those chicken cutlets are pretty tender, and expensive.



(The audience gets uncomfortable)



Jonnie Valentine: Anyone? It's still available, like any merch that Anthony Caffrey sells.



Audience Member Peter: Um, I guess I could eat?



Jonnie Valentine: Sold! To Peter in the front row there! I mean, you get a house salad. I forgot to mention. With choices of ranch dressing, and plain. I would like to do my impression of Eddie D watching any match backstage.



(Jonnie turns around to transition, and then turns back around)



Jonnie Valentine: (confused) Is this...somehow not about me? Wait...that makes no sense. How could anything not be about me? This can't be happening. How could anything exist outside myself? You see how that doesn't even track? I must make this about me.



(Crowd applauds)



Jonnie Valentine: But we're gonna keep it moving here and bring up our headliner here. He is a dear friend of mine, and the reason why Trent Jones will be a distant memory fairly soon. He's the guy Eddie D's relatives ask about when he "brings up work". Fresh off his Seattle tour “Don't Get Me Started”, give it up for 110% Syberus!”





[“Stayin' Alive” by the BeeGees plays and Syberus walks out hugging Jonnie on the way. The crowd give him a rapturous round of applause as he takes the mic and swigs from a glass of water.]



110% Syberus: “Alright, alright settle down settle down... thank you.”



“Thank you”.







[Someone in the audience woo's.]



110% Syberus: “Thank you sir. Man it's good to be back out here at the Chuckle Hut. I've missed you guys. You know the worst thing about travelling so much is the constant packing and repacking, once I lost my luggage and I tried to sue the airline, but I lost my case.”



[He does a pas de bouree and the crowd laughs politely at his crappy joke.]



110% Syberus: “Nah but seriously being a pro wrestler has it's ups and downs. Sometimes you get burdened with an opponent like my guy this time around Eddie D.”



“Eddie D's lucky we live in an age where fat jokes are frowned upon because my God would there be a lot of material.”



“Just like his on his bath robe”



“Or what you and I would call a gazebo”.







[Syberus sways as the crowd laughs. He twirls the mic cord.]



110% Syberus: “Eddie's so fat he sweats ranch dressing. I don't know whether to bring a steel chair to the ring or a plate of boneless wings. BOOM.”



[More laughter as Syberus takes another sip of the water.]



“What am I saying, the wings wouldn't last two seconds with Eddie around. Man it's hot in here. I don't know how you guys have managed it sat there all evening. God bless you all. I feel like I'm at the core of the sun. It's hotter than Eddie D's heart insulated by all that cholesterol.”



“Seriously I might not even have to wrestle Eddie to be number one contender, just cross my fingers his locker room is next to the buffet table. He's pretty much one last handful of cold pastries away from a body bag let alone a three count.”



[The crowd are working up into more laughter and Syberus paces on the stage.]







110% Syberus: “Can I get some Evian out here?”



[He wipes his brow.]



110% Syberus: “But we're done with the cheap shots. We're done. I could see some of you out there tilting dangerously on the BMI scale yourselves shuffling uncomfortably in your seats.”



“Thing about Eddie D is that it's alright to be fat these days. It's alright. There's no shame. There's no discrimination right? Discrimination is an ugly word. And I've wrestled a lot of guys in my time that've been on the bigger side go on and do just fine. Problem with Eddie is that he just... well...”



“Quite frankly he blows. And not just on his fried chicken when it's too hot out of the fryer and the gluttonous hog can't wait to inhale that shit. He's really bad.”



[ A stage hand throws a fresh bottle of water out. Syberus drops the catch before unscrewing the cap and taking a swig.]



110% Syberus: “First guy I've ever seen that relies on his pic base to write his material for him. 'Guy can't cut a promo if Eddie Hall hasn't posted on Instagram this week.”



[He mimes bumping into the camera.]



110% Syberus: “WHOA was that the fourth wall? Sorry about that.”



[He pretends to scroll through his phone and mocks Eddie D's voice:]



110% Syberus: “Let's see Eddie, where'd you go this time? Whelp, looks like I'm off to the airport.”



[More laughter from the crowd as Syberus drinks more water, sweat pouring from his brow under the glare of the spotlights.]



110% Syberus: “Can you even imagine the sheer lack of creativity it takes to have someone else's life the basis of your entire fucking gimmick?”



[The scene switches to Syberus hang gliding with a fedora-wearing-raccoon poking out of his back pack eating ice cream.]



[Oh and Syberus is also dressed like a stereotypical French guy with a black and white striped shirt playing an accordion.]



110% Syberus: “Sorry, we couldn't find that image on Google. Guess we'll have to make do with another shitty strip club promo”.



[The crowd laughing, we can only assume for the purpose of this promo that they hear this narration like some kind of hive mind inner monologue.]



110% Syberus: “But let's patch up that fourth wall there, let's patch it up.”



[Syberus mimes pasting filler on a wall.]







110% Syberus: “So you think okay, this guy's out of shape and he has no ideas of his own. So what's the redeeming quality right? How does this guy stumble into a number one contender's spot? You'd think he must be decent in the ring right?”



“Except when I had him in that ladder match back in Paris and I sent him tumbling off that summbitch like he was Tim “the Tool Man” Taylor trying to do the Christmas lights.”



“Honestly.”



“Watching that 300lbs fat sack of shit try and stay ontop of a ladder for more than two seconds was like trying to balance a cinder block on a toothpick.”



“I've seen better wrestling ability when Mr Burns tried to teach Marge in the Simpsons.”



[Syberus does his best Mr Burns.]



110% Syberus: “Clinch, clinch I say!”



[The crowd are now in hysterics, because it's my promo and I can determine the outcome of the set. You wanna watch Syberus bomb? I'm sure Eddie can find a picture of Dolph Ziggler looking flummoxed.]









110% Syberus: “And it's a shame man, like when Eddie first came into SWAT I had high hopes for the guy, I offered words of encouragement. To say they fell on deaf ears was an understatement- though even Helen Keller would have grasped that 110% Syberus is better company in wrestling than Trent Jones.”



“Trent Jones, man! Who CHOOSES to form a team with Trent Jones?”



“I guess it makes sense given Trent's love of mayonnaise since it courses through the fat fuck's veins. If I end up busting Eddie so badly he needs a transfusion then he doesn't have far to go- Trent just has to pull his badly diseased dick out of the jar and voilà.”



“How to save a life, man.”



[Syberus acts like Eddie D dying on the operating table.]



110% Syberus: “Uhhhh Nurse... is that mayo high-fat extra-calorie?”



“No Mr. D, it's low cal.”



[Syberus mimes Eddie dying and lets out a prolonged “beeeeeeeeep” to indicate him flat lining. The crowd roars with laughter as he wipes his forehead with a cloth again.]



110% Syberus: “Eddie's lack of judgement on choice of team mates has to be the worst call since the Jacksonville Jaguars paid $88million for Nick Foles to sit on the bench just because he had a Superbowl ring.”



“At least Foles had the ring! What did Trent Jones have that made Eddie D wanna tie his horse to that chariot? The only thing these fucking idiots have in common is that they're the only two people in the world that looked at Jonnie Valentine being funny and entertaining every week and thought “we've gotta put a stop to that”.



“Eddie's idea of triumph is just being involved in a belt switch. He just wants to be there when it happens. He's like the reserve team player that gets as close as possible to the trophy so they're never cropped out of the photo.”



“Eddie cost me the International championship in a match I had against my own team mate. He thinks he did this big number on me, the belt hasn't even left my fucking locker room.”



“He likes to be involved in switches like some sad little king maker. The term “Always The Bridesmaid” is gonna be carved on the guy's gravestone. He cost me the International title. He cost Jonnie the World title. And yet still his own waistline remains vacant, which PETA are really happy about by the way. Can you imagine how many cows would have to die in order to restrap a belt to fit that circumference?”



[Syberus downs more mineral water and paces the stage. He waits for the laughter to calm down.]



110% Syberus: “But all in all we can't have Eddie D go for the world title. What kind of message does that send to the rest of the industry?”



“Here's a guy that cuts THE most flaccid promos I've ever witnessed. They're not as bad as Trents which is weird given he's World champ and all, but they're so unremarkable it's scary. The guy has the personality of a drainpipe. Only thing his RP's are good for is curing the insomnia I'm inevitably gonna get on the red-eye to Knoxville on my way to beat his fat ass into oblivion.”



“Listen you guys have been great.” (he holds his earpeice) “Last call on the chicken kiev. Seriously we're not fucking around on that.”



“But let's all make a pact right here, right now. Because you seem like good people. I got a good vibe from this audience.”



“Let's not settle for second best. Let's expect the same succulent cuts of meat from life as we do from the Chuckle Hut chicken kiev. In Knoxville I'm going to do the world a service. Surgically remove that giant tumour that is Eddie D from the contendership line for the World title. And THEN when I go one on one with Trent Jones, I want each and every one of you there FRONT ROW to watch it happen!”



[The crowd roars and applauds. Syberus holds his hands to his chest with a benevolent look on his face.]



110% Syberus: “Just to be clear tickets, travel and accommodation will not be paid. But anyway thank you all, and good night!”



[The crowd reach their feet as Syberus pops the mic back on the stand and takes a bow. Jonnie meets him back on stage and raises his arm.]

[anthonycaffrey]

New Nickname

Right after Timeless’ match, a graphic loads up on the screen above the ramp. It says ‘With a Cup of Caffrey’ and features the former X-Crown champion’s visage. We cut to him standing live in front of an elevator.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a very special episode of ‘With a Cup of Caffrey’, starring yours truly. I hope you’re all being safe and phighting the good phight.”

Caffrey taps on his mask.

“That includes wearing one of these bad boys, even if it doesn’t have a giant ‘X’ on the front of it.”

He sighs before clasping his hands and soldiering on.

“Before we get into tonight’s show, we have to spend a few minutes addressing the words of one Mr. Jonnie Valentine---”

He pauses, knowing the crowd will boo wherever they are. They do.

“---don’t worry folks, I’m pretty sure his mom doesn’t like him either. How could she? She raised a hateful stale white-bread bastard who day-by-day is showing more and more that he can’t hang on the upper levels of SWAT. Him calling himself a ‘Top Guy’ is like me calling Eddie D and Trent Jones skinny. It simply ain’t true.”

Caffrey isn’t laughing at any of his jokes. He is intensely staring at the camera, doing his best to put on this persona of a talkshow host for the time being.

“Jonnie, I’m glad after all our competition together, you still haven’t taken ten minutes to fucking scout me. Man, I have to say, it was comedic gold listening to you spew your dumb bullshit on a little podcast. Rachel Maddow jokes coming from a guy who and wrestles like the product of flattening Steve Austin’s skull with a shovel is just comedy gold.

He shakes his head.

“You don’t even know what the X-Crown is called, Jon. I may have come up short on my end of the bargain -- due to powers outside of my control -- but there wasn’t a chance in hell you were taking the crown from me. You can’t even beat either Brother of Anarchy by yourself. I’m a solo act through and through, and let’s be honest, these days you’re only getting the job done if you’re getting carried by Syb to victory.”

The crowd lets out a big “OOH” because they know Caff’s right.

“While you may have been Mr. Saturday Night Live at one point, I can beat you any day of the week. You’re bragging about 2003, well newsflash Jon, 2003 called, and they wanted to tell you they haven’t seen a dropkick that could reasonably put down a man for a three-count since the 1980s.”

Caffrey inverts the classic joke but still doesn’t laugh. Every word that graces his lips has a touch of anger and passion behind it.

“Let me give you the blueprint of my summer since you seem so damn content to tell everyone you’ll do better. Tonight, I break your ankle for looking at me funny. Net, I break Rat Bastard’s ankle for a hard-fighting kid in a hospital. Then, I beat the shit out of Timeless, and beat DT and five or six other chucklefucks and take back my X-Crown to the roaring approval of thousands of my people from my city.”

Caffrey doesn’t even know of the pop that his line gets, but he cuts it off.

“And that… that’s just July!”

Cafffey puts up two fingers.

“See, while you aspire to be the second-best wrestler in the Society of the New Breed, which by the way, such an original name there, Jon, great job... “

He lowers a finger, leaving just a middle finger up.

“I’m going to aspire to be The Best. And no, I’m not hoping to just climb back up to the top of the SWAT mountain, I’m talking scaling the entire federation. I’ve done it once and I haven’t peaked just yet. I’ll do it again.”

The crowd pops.

"You, on the other hand… let’s be honest. You could ask for a match at Night of Champions. Hell, you and Syberus could compete for the XHF Tag Team Championships. As long as you stay out of Syb’s way while he does all the work, you both certainly have more talent than the champion drunkard and his brother. But nah, you’re not going to do that. At Night of Champions, while I’m fighting for the biggest championship in our federation, you’re going to spend the evening doing what you’re doing now --- grumbling about an opportunity wasn’t given to you while desperately clinging to Syb’s coattails.”

Caffrey is burning hot tonight.

“I’mma do Syb a favor -- he’s earned my respect -- and christen you with a new nickname tonight. Instead of any of this crap about you being handsome or a top guy, I’m going to give you a nickname that will actually stick and you’ll have to carry through the summer. Tonight, it’s Anthony Caffrey and his wounded pride, going up against just a man, really more of a myth, none other than Mr. ‘Dead Weight’ Jonnie Valentine. “

The elevator dings, indicating it’s finally ready for Caffrey and the cameraman. The two hop in and take a new floor as the crowd cheers. Caffrey stays as far back as he can from the cameraman, and even lets him off first so he can stay socially-distanced. Interestingly enough, the two are now in the underground car park.

“Ladies and gentlemen, don’t switch channels just yet! We’ve got a packed show for you tonight with two very special guests. I’m on my way to interview tonight’s first guest now. A little bit about him… this beautiful two-million dollar machine has been dubbed ‘alive with technology’. One of the fastest of its kind, capable of running at 258 miles per hour, this semi-autonomous beauty has been so kind to take a few minutes of time for us tonight. Please welcome my guest… the Rimac C TWOOOOO!”

The camera turns to reveal the blue Rimac C Two Timeless drove to the arena tonight. It truly is a gorgeous, beautiful car, better described by a picture than words.



“Mr. Rimac, thanks for taking the time to meet me tonight. I’m sure you must be exasperated, driving around that gasbag Timeless, a man who has such a strong resistance to putting the work in, that he bought himself a self-driving car.”

Caffrey pauses to ‘let his guest talk’. He clearly knows the car is not going to answer.

“I see you’re a man of few words, unlike your associate Sir Whinesalot. My first question for you is uh, why do bad things happen to good people?”

Caffrey’s tone shifts. Each one of his questions is more pointed than the other.

“No response? How about this, then? Why do some assholes have such nice things while other people have to work for everything they have? Why do they get to life a life of luxury while others are starving on the street? Do those assholes not care about their fellow man? Do you know how many people are about to miss rent for another month and get evicted from their homes due to this crisis? I should know, I’ve been offering rent-check relief for many of the brothers and sisters of my city.”

The crowd pops for the former champion as he walks around the car.

“Not much of a talker, are you? Maybe you don’t wax philosophy with me, fine. Not everyone is a bleeding heart liberal like me, I get it. But maybe you could tell me this: why does Timeless want to make himself my priority target when he can’t even beat Soutter without help? Does Timeless know what I could do to them-- no, what I’m going to do to him?”

Caffrey puts his hands up.

“And hey, Zoran Sainovic said I couldn’t let a ‘finger’ on Timeless… and Timeless…”

Caffrey turns to address the camera directly.

“...I’m certainly not going to touch you between now and the time I break your face with my elbow. But hey, luckily for me, I found a guest that could help me properly convey my feelings of wanting to tell you to fuck yourself. Please welcome, THIS BASEBALL BAT!”

Caffrey produces an aluminum baseball bat that he’s had leaning up against the other side of the car. He mockingly waves it at the camera.

“Now, I’m not going to interview a baseball bat… I’m no Rocco Rose… though check out this signature from my boy Bryce.”

Caffrey turns the bat -- on the barrel is a Bryce Harper signature. The camera can barely pick up Caffrey, as the crowd has already popped and keeps cheering, knowing what’s about to happen.

“Timeless, you took something near and dear to my heart, you giant piece of shit. As much as I hate your fucking guts, you said it yourself: ‘‘Fools want to make a name for themselves and don’t realize the consequences for their actions until it’s too late’. Now Ghandi said ‘an eye for an eye leaves the world blind’, but… I don’t think he was talking about rear-view mirrors.”

Caffrey takes a few steps back before unloading with his right-handed swing, sending the drivers’ side mirror flying! He does the same to the opposite side as the crowd cheers loudly.

“FUCK YOU!”

He grabs the bat and begins absolutely hammering away on the windshield, shattering a huge hole into the front of it! Caffrey’s flimsy red mask goes flying as he moves around the car, absolutely unloading all of his anger and frustration! Broken glass goes flying everywhere!

“FUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!”

He draws the bat back and swings it with full power, completely shattering one window!

“OUTTTTTTTTTAAA HEREEEE! HOME RUN, ANTHONY CAFFREY!”

Caffrey’s face is bright red as he goes around and tees off on Timeless’ car, leaving huge dents all around the vehicle. He sets the bat down as he takes multiple deep breaths, seemingly attempting to calm back down, but instead reaching in his pocket for something. He pulls out a screwdriver.

“I’m not done, Timeless. You’re not done with me, buddy. You and that big fat fuck chair just sealed a date with destiny.”

Caffrey rams the screwdriver into one of Timeless’ tires, puncturing it.

“This car doesn’t make us even, Timeless. You know that as well as I do. I want something else of yours. You took my pride and joy, and this only covers my joy!”

He punctures another tire.

“I wanna take your pride next. I want you to suffer. I want you to be embarrassed. I want you to go home at the end of the day and discover that you can’t have something you want more anything in this world. I want you to feel how it feels, to be staring up at the ceiling at three o’clock in the morning wondering where the fuck where it went wrong. I want you to hurt you more than I’ve wanted anyone ever. And I will do it at Memorial.”

The crowd pops loudly as Caffrey tosses the screwdriver.

“You and I, Timeless. Don’t bring Roxy. Don’t bring the KGB. I want you mano-e-mano, man to man, unless you’re going to prove me right that you’re a cowardly chickenshit little bastard. I want you one-on-one.... loser leaves SWAT.”

The crowd pops at their loudest for the huge stipulation. Caffrey takes a deep breath.

“At Memorial, when you tap out or that ref counts to three, you’re going to enter that world of hurt. That world of wondering what the fuck went wrong, and I’m going to take something from you that matters more than anyone or anything. Your legacy… gone. Your power… gone. The KGB isn’t going to follow you to a new company. I’ve been all over the world, I’ve been in other companies in this Network. You wouldn’t last a damn day. The ‘Goddamn Wrestling Machine’? Hell, I already gave Jon a nickname, why don’t I give you one too?”

Caffrey reaches into his other pocket and reveals a can of spraypaint. He tosses it a few times before shaking it up and spraypainting the front of Timeless’ once beautiful Rimac C Two. He starts with two circles and a long oval connecting the two before leaning over the hood and preventing the camera from seeing the rest. Once he finishes, he proudly displays his handiwork.

“Timeless, you are the Ultimate Male Supreme! Every breathing woman’s wet dream! A goddamn wrestling machine! Unfadeable, and now, closing out your long line of dumb nicknames and catchphrases, you can add…”

The spraypaint reveals that Caffrey has drawn a penis on the hood of Timeless’ two-million dollar car and added the word head next to it.

“...GIANT DICKHEAD!”

The crowd roars in approval and laughter as Caffrey jumps up on the hood of the car and admires his handiwork. The final thing we see is Caffrey spraypainting a red smiley face underneath the word “DICKHEAD” as the camera cuts.

[Jonnie Valentine]

("Hard To Follow" Jonnie Valentine is with Greg his assistant, putting the finishing touches on Syberus' birthday party. Various guests and former wrestlers are milling about) 


"Hard To Follow" Jonnie Valentine: And you were able to book Leroy Miller?


Greg The Assistant: Yes sir, he'll be the special surprise guest.  


Jonnie Valentine: And he knows to just play "Good Time" on a continuous loop? 


Greg The Assistant: He said that was pretty much his life anyway. 


Jonnie Valentine: And you got the gifts I asked you to get? 


Greg The Assistant: Yes sir, I got the Yorkshire Main F.C. jersey, and a three pack of undershirts, and I took the liberty of also getting presents he would actually like, a Manchester United jersey signed by the 2008 World Cup team, and a 1908 ticket stub from the George Hackenschmidt vs Frank Gotch match at the Dexter Park Pavilion in Chicago. 


(Jonnie immediately throws the undershirts and Yorkshire jersey in the garbage. Former Hardkore World manager Tum Tum walks over to Jonnie and Greg)


Jonnie Valentine: Tummers! How was the flight from Holland? 


Tum Tum: yeah is not bad lady next chair snore and not like womens tag team champions Lady Firebird and Miss Running Cloud I say she not know is not correct but yeah sexy dancing not to stop maybe we watch European midget intercontinental champ Mr Toes in handicap match with two ladies? 


Jonnie Valentine: Absolutely. 


(Tum Tum crams three shrimp into his mouth and disco dances away) 


Jonnie Valentine: I can't believe you got Tum Tum to come. Thank you, Greg. You're the best. 


Greg The Assistant: Thank you sir, the IHOP guy will be here to set up the omelet bar...


(Greg suddenly hears something on his headset)


Greg The Assistant: What? He can't be early...the swan guy hasn't even gotten here yet...then drive him around the block! Pretend to keep missing the house. (to Jonnie) Sorry, sir...I have a little bit of a situation.


Jonnie Valentine: Anything I should worry about? 


Greg The Assistant: Not at all...I'm just going to walk away very quickly for a totally different reason. 


Jonnie Valentine: Ah, very good. 


(Anjanette Valentine comes down the stairs, agitated by all the construction workers and caterers) 


Anjanette Valentine: Jon, when are all these people going to leave my house? 


Jonnie Valentine: (stammering) Th-they...I told you it's just going to be a small party.


Anjanette Valentine: Why is that man setting up a microphone...is there going to be a band playing in my house? 


Jonnie Valentine: No...it's not a band...it's Leroy Miller. Not even Leroy Miller, sometimes he just goes by Leroy.


Anjanette Valentine: You've got two hours, Jon. Two hours! Then all your little friends have got to go. 


(Anjanette stomps back upstairs, Greg wheels over on his heelies)


Greg The Assistant: Are we in trouble? 


Jonnie Valentine: I think so. 


Greg The Assistant: Not to worry, I've secured her best friends and they will be taking her out for a night on the town. 


Jonnie Valentine: Great, can you get me a Best of Anthony Caff...


Greg The Assistant: (hands him DVD) Already done. 


(Jonnie sits down to watch it, then stops it 3 minutes in) 


Jonnie Valentine: My god...it's worse than I thought. So he never "lifts anyone"? 


Greg The Assistant: Yes sir. I'm afraid he was born 8 weeks premature with an inverted penis. His arms, if you want to call them that, can barely lift his carton of Oat milk that he subsists on to live. 


Jonnie Valentine: I don't understand how did he...


Greg The Assistant: XHF apparently gets a tax break by having him appear on their air waves since he's considered handi-capable. He's actually a spokesman for both the Preemies of America, and "So What?" a group that talks to high school kids about how it's OK to have an inverted penis, and raising money to give them places to sit down to pee. 


Jonnie Valentine: I don't want to get too personal, Greg, but is it OK?


Greg The Assistant: It's not really my bag, sir. 


Jonnie Valentine: Poor guy. I mean, I've always wondered what everyone was snickering at in the showers, why he got changed with the refs, or why he always got duds in the dirt sheets. 


Greg The Assistant: Plus he looks like what happens to a vegan from Philly. Poor little guy probably spent most of middle school in his locker. 


Jonnie Valentine: Just like his best friend, the guidance counselor, probably told him, when we're scared, we lash out. So I'm going to disregard him telling the guy who's poster he had on his wall that he's going to break anything of mine. Just like when I used to bed his ring rat mom whenever we did a show at the Spectrum, he's not gonna do a goddamn thing. I know it, he knows it, dogs know it. He can also rest assured I have no idea what he's talking about with X Crowns or Night Champions or wherever he and his sun starved friends trade belts and make funny pictures. If he's worried about me venturing into his weird little territory where he doesn't pick people up, he can sleep easy, alone and desperate for human connection. I'll also try and not take advice from guys who do the full nelson about updating my repertoire. 


Greg The Assistant: I'm pretty sure they just use that move in porn these days. 


Jonnie Valentine: But you see, that's OK. Wrestling went south when people thought anything pre-Superman Punch didn't have the sizzle they were after. People used to laugh at TNA pulling in only a million viewers, now it's a red letter day when Raw can do more than 1.7 million. That's where you get confused, Four Eyes, so let me make basic like the XHF. The Society of the New Breed isn't a name. We don't have rankings. We go where we're needed, to show fans what wrestling can be, not what it currently is. When we showed up to SWAT, Joe Pesci was GM and Frostbite was their top babyface. I can't remember which one was more embarrassing, but it was one of them. Now that we've spruced the place up, we've got a less butch Rachael Maddow coming in trying to chase away our newfound viewers with ankle locks and trash promos. 


Greg The Assistant: We can't have that. Tsk tsk tsk. 


Jonnie Valentine: You see, Greg gets it. Thanks Greg. Look Antnee, I get it. You're going to lose again. And this time it's not even for that X thingymabob. That's enough to jump off the bridge into the Schuylkill River to take your place amongst the other guys that talked too much. But chin up, Pasty. The office will make a cute lil picture of ya on the banner and alls forgiven. Just make sure to fuck off and do it somewhere else. Nooooo one likes you here. 

Greg The Assistant: He's here! He's here! Ok, places everyone. 


(The party guests all hide behind the furniture and Greg turns out the lights) 


110% Syberus: (opens the door) Hello? Hello? I got a message that someone kidnapped my dog?


Party: SURPRISE!!!! 


110% Syberus: Wow! Thank you! I can't believe it. And you have my dog?


Jonnie Valentine: Well...yeah. I did. At first. 


Greg The Assistant: Ladies and gentleman, Leroy Miller! 


(Leroy Miller starts playing "Good Times" on stage. Jonnie pulls Greg by the arm)


Jonnie Valentine: (murmurs in Greg's ear) Where are we at on the dog? 


Greg The Assistant: Still looking, sir. He can't have gotten far, and I got a lookalike from the animal shelter just in case. 


Jonnie Valentine: Great. (gives a dancing 110% Syberus a thumbs up, and he returns the gesture)  

[vastrix]

"Circus Apocalypse" by Vermillion Lies begins as Armand von Krauss walks out in his new KGB shirt. He stands at the ring entrance, grinning as the fans boo him.

Andrew Fulton: He coming out to give me one of those fancy cigarettes?

Jeremy Tucker: I really doubt it.

Armand lights an Egyptian cigarette and takes a hit before he starts walking down toward the ring, blowing smoke into the air as he does so.

Jeremy Tucker: See? I think that he's keeping those fancy cigarettes to himself.

Andrew Fulton: Oohhh man. Then, I wonder what he's wanting then?

Armand von Krauss steps into the ring and slowly paces around inside the ring with one hand on the ropes as he smokes. The fans continue to hurl their hatred of him in droves.

Andrew Fulton: Why are the fans so fierce in their booing of Armand?

Jeremy Tucker: Because he betrayed Paul Soutter in that match to join the KGB?

Andrew Fulton: I suppose that makes sense. I wonder if Armand helping fend off the KGB at the last show was all a ploy to gain Soutter's trust?

Jeremy Tucker: Likely.

Armand flicks his cigarette butt into the crowd and has a microphone handed to him.

Armand von Krauss: Paul Soutter. My comrades had seen to it that you were to be removed from the very group that you created. You made the mistake in returning back to the ring after your dire injuries had healed. Erbärmlich!

Jeremy Tucker: What did he call my mother?

Andrew Fulton: I think he might have been calling Soutter a bad name.

Armand von Krauss: Now I am here and it isn't enough for me that you have been banished from the KGB forever. It's not enough for me that you have recovered from horrific injuries. What do you think I want from you, Paul Soutter? What more could I take?

Andrew Fulton: Could he take Soutter's pride?

Jeremy Fulton: Idiot! I think that he's shooting for more solid goals.

Armand von Krauss: What more do you have that I would even want, Soutter? Hmmm. You do have a bodyguard in the form of Bruno. Maybe, I will recruit him from you. Give him a chance to shine out from your shadow. What do you fans think? Wouldn't Bruno have a better chance with me than with a Schwächling like Soutter?

The crowd likely don't know what the heck German word that Armand is throwing out there, but they can glint the negative tone in his voice and boo him. Armand just chuckles and lights a fresh Egptian cigarette.

Armand von Krauss: I mean I see you all asking me. I have Timeless, Frostbite, and James Fierce. What else would I need? Perhaps some sucker to take punishment so that I don't have to. Someone to get their hands dirty while my hands stay clean. Yes, I mean to take Bruno for mine own.

Someone runs down to the ring, a small girl. She rolls into the ring underneath the bottom rope and whispers something into Armand's ear.

Armand von Krauss: Danke, süßes Mädchen.

Armand sighs, flicking ashes onto the mat.

Jeremy Tucker: Did Armand get some bad news?

Andrew Fulton: Sure seems like it.

Armand motions to the big screen.

Armand von Krauss: Seems that Bruno was less than inclined to join me and my cause. Shall we see him?

The big screen flickers to life and shows Bruno in the boiler room. He lays on the floor with a pool of blood blooming from the side of his head and a broken steel chair nearby.

Andrew Fulton: What the heck? Who did that?

Jeremy Tucker: You know that Armand had this done. Maybe the KGB did it!

It doesn't take long for medics to make their way to the boiler room to take care of the broken man. Armand blows smoke into the air with a chuckle.

Armand von Krauss: Either way, Soutter, I've taken Bruno away from you. I wonder if he will wake up from that blow to the head? If he wakes up, he may not even know who you are. Lost and gone forever.

Jeremy Tucker: That monster had Bruno attacked? That's...not so shocking.

Andrew Fulton: That still sucks.

Armand von Krauss: That's not all that I have planned to take from you, Soutter. What I plan to take is-

The little girl rolls back into the ring and whispers into Armand's ear again. Armand steps back from her, looking at her as if she had might have grown a third eye or something similar.

Armand von Krauss: Ist das wahr?

The little girl nods her head and rolls out of the ring again to head to the back. Armand just smiles, flicking ashes to the mat.

Armand von Krauss: It seems that I have underestimated you, Soutter. You do not have what I seek, but you will attain it once again.

Andrew Fulton: What the heck is he talking about?

Jeremy Tucker: No idea?

Armand von Krauss: Paul Soutter, you had gotten rid of your shares? You are to buy them all back and then give them to me. Or you may find that this situation will happen to someone you do care about.

The big screen flickers to life once again to show Bruno is at the freight entrance where an ambulance is getting ready to send him to the hospital. Timeless and James Fierce attack the medics while Frostbite runs in with a steel chair and smashes Bruno in the face and chest over and over again, blood splattering across his face. In the end, Frostbite kicks over the gunree before the three retreat.

Inside the ring, Armand just grins as he finishes smoking his Egyptian cigarette and flicks the butt toward the crowd to get another round of boos.

Armand motions and the big screen flickers off. He looks to the camera with a self-satisfied, sadistic grin.

Armand von Krauss: Who will be next, Soutter? Gather those shares into one place and then bring them to me. We will see who I break next if you cannot comply. Eventually I'm sure that I'll get to someone that you do care about to do exactly as I have asked.

"Circus Apocalypse" by Vermillion Lies begins again as Armand von Krauss heads backstage.

[SWAT Team]

Frank Salazar : The following is a Number One Contender’s Match, scheduled for One Fall! Whoever wins this match will wrestle the SWAT World Heavyweight Champion at Memorial!

Jeremy Tucker : A big match atmosphere here as Eddie D and 110% Syberus collide, the winner gets to take on the champion, either Rally Jackson or Trent Jones, at the Memorial.

Andrew Fulton : If Eddie wins this, he could be turning right around and facing one of his own Brothers of Anarchy!

"Two Notes Shy Of An Octave" by Red City Radio kicks off and the crowd pops, Syberus doesn't leave them waiting long though and pushes his way out from the curtain. He takes a second to look around at the audience on the stage before pumping his fist in the air with a "YEAH!!" and swaggering his way down to the ring, high fiving a few fans on his way. He wears a black sleeveless wrestling robe with "The Society of the New Breed" embroidered on the back.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Manchester, England. Coming in at 6’ and 232 pounds ....representing the Society of the New Breed .... 110% SYBERUS!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Syberus has to go through a Brother in Anarchy, then either the other Brother or Rally in order to claim the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship. This crowd is hot for him tonight.

Andrew Fulton : He’s been rolling on all cylinders these past few months, but his competition is definitely going to be hard to beat.

Cave by Muse blares and Eddie D walks out with a black and white montage video playing on the screens of him weight training and hitting his favourite moves on people, flashing up in negative to the beat of the music.

He threatens rude fans, tears up opponents fan posters on his way to the ring, has vicious one liner for an "ugly" fan, he walks confidently and slowly to the ring. Raises his hands to accept the praise he feels he is due, but the crowd erupt in a chorus of boos and jeers.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Vernon, California, USA. Coming in at 6’ and 303 pounds .... THE BIG DEAL .... EDDIE D!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Can you imagine fighting your own tag team partner? We could see Eddie D have to put his friendship aside with Jones in order to fight for the gold.

Andrew Fulton : Definitely a hell of a fight that would be. Eddie’s no slouch and he’s going to give it his all against Syberus. He might even crush him like a bug.

Jeremy Tucker : Well there’s the bell, and this match for number one contendership for the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship is on! The two competitors are circling each other.. or should I say that Eddie D is giving chase, and Syberus is just a step ahead of him?

Andrew Fulton : Syberus is 70 pounds lighter than Eddie. If Eddie catches him, this could be the shortest fight yet between the Brothers of Anarchy and the Society of the New Breed.

Jeremy Tucker : Syb really risking pissing off Eddie as he keeps trying to sneak in a jab or a kick and retreating backwards, using that speed to keep himself out of harm’s way. Except now he’s in the corner, and Eddie’s got him! Eddie D slams him up against the turnbuckle and delivers a wicked hard chest chop! Woo! You can feel that one from over here!

Andrew Fulton : This is exactly what I said, this is gonna be over quick if he continues like that. Eddie grabbing Syb by the arm, and then smashing him down to the mat with a short-arm clothesline. He sits on top of his chest and begins to hammer down left and right punches on the former International champion, really making him suffer as the referee begins to count for the closed punches. Eddie has to be careful not to get disqualified here.

Jeremy Tucker : Eddie is relentless, he has taken exception to Syberus’ latest promotionals and he is out for blood! . Eddie pulled off at three and I could’ve seen him punching Syb for the next few minutes. The Brothers didn’t get themselves in this position by playing nice.

Andrew Fulton : Or by pulling their punches!

Jeremy Tucker : Ah. I see what you did there. Eddie grabbing Syberus now, peeling him off of the canvas and Syb is already looking to be in rough shape in the early-goings here. Eddie sends him off the ropes, and then catches him on the way back, sending Syberus FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE with a german suplex!

Andrew Fulton : WHOAH! Syberus goes crashing down to the floor right out in front of us! What an impact! The referee’s beginning his count here with Syb on the outside, and I’m not seeing him moving much! But it looks like the big man is going to come out here and join us!

Jeremy Tucker : Eddie D’s got Syberus right in front of us now, locking in a chinlock with his massive arms and choking out Syb here. Syb’s pounding against the table with his foot, but I’m not sure it’s doing much for him! Look how red his face is getting here!

Andrew Fulton : He’s trying to rally the crowd with that foot! And you can hear them coming alive, rooting for SYB-BER-US to get back into this one! Fools, like their cheers will mean anything when Eddie knocks him across the ring again. He’s putting a foot up… what is he doing… he’s scaling the table, then he shifts his weight, sending Eddie and himself crashing back onto the ground and breaking the hold! A smart move buying him some much-needed time and air to breathe!

Jeremy Tucker : Syberus needed that in a big way and he got it. You can watch him sucking in oxygen here on the outside as he looks to see what he’s going to do next. He’s also got to get back in the ring, the count is already at five. I don’t think these two would like to settle their feud in a countout.

Andrew Fulton : Syberus has a look in his eye… he’s looking for something here… he jumps at Eddie with his knees up, but Eddie catches him! Eddie slams Syberus on the apron and leaves him dazed! The count is at seven as Eddie puts one big foot on the apron and gets himself back up into the ring. What was Syberus looking for there?

Jeremy Tucker : It looked like a Codebreaker that just went all sorts of wrong for him here. Jonnie Valentine has now come down to ringside, and he’s looking concerned for his partner who is clearly still feeling the effects of having sent himself off a ladder just last week. That Diamond Cutter took out Trent, but I can’t imagine he’s in 100% shape to fight Eddie here. Jonnie pounding on the apron to get Syb back into this match as Eddie looks to put him away here.

Andrew Fulton : Eddie lifting Syberus up… look at the power! He lifts him up and straight into a suplex, looking for that brainbuster-- but no! Syberus is fighting back, driving a knee down into the back of his head! Syb hits another knee and drops down...

Jeremy Tucker : Diamond Cutter! Eddie gets dropped by the Diamond Cutter! What an incredible counter from Syberus! The cover and the count!

...ONE!

...TWO!

...Eddie D kicks out!

Andrew Fulton : Syberus digs down deep and finds it in himself to continue, and now the momentum is beginning to shift! Eddie is stumbling to his feet and…

Jeremy Tucker : Judo hip toss by Syb! Chop to the throat … RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!!!

Andrew Fulton : Jonnie cheering Syb on from the outside, what’s he even doing out here?

Jeremy Tucker : He is his manager you know.

Andrew Fulton : Manager?

Jeremy Tucker : Yes! He managers all of the Society!

Andrew Fulton : Wristlock takedown with leg scissors by Syb! Look at this! Eddie powering to his feet, Syb hanging onto the leg scissors … SAMOAN DROP!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Wow, that took the air right outta Syb.

Andrew Fulton : Here comes Trent Jones. He is now cheering on Eddie D.

Jeremy Tucker : What’s he doing here?

Andrew Fulton : Jonnie is here so he figures he can be too.

Jeremy Tucker : Does he have a managers license?

Andrew Fulton : Did Eddie when he interfered in all of Trent’s matches?

Jeremy Tucker : Jonnie runs at Trent! What a spear!

Andrew Fulton : That was completely unwarranted! Trent didn’t even see it coming!

Jeremy Tucker : Wake up then Trent! Jonnie and Trent now rolling on the outside exchanging lefts and rights.

Andrew Fulton : This isn’t right! Trent has to go and defend his belt later against Rally!

Jeremy Tucker : And Jonnie has to go into the ring with Caffrey after this too.

Andrew Fulton : Eddie leaning over the ropes and telling Valentine to beat it … tell him Eddie!

Jeremy Tucker : PURE CONFIDENCE!!! Sy with the Pure Confidence!!! (Edgecution / Impaler DDT with a single underhook on the outside arm.) Cover by Syb!

ONE …………………..

TWO ………………………….

THREE!!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : NOOOOOOO!

Jeremy Tucker : Syberus wins! He is going to the Memorial show to face off for the World Title. But who will he face? Trent or Rally?

Andrew Fulton : You must be joking, Trent of course. Mr Bones is holding that gold as long as he wants to.

Jeremy Tucker : Rally will have something to say about that later tonight. Security separate Valentine and Trent on the outside and Jonnie rolls into the ring and holds up the arm of Syberus in victory. We’ll be right back folks,

[radu]

[The cameras pan through the crowd, shot after shot of audience members screaming their approval.  The switcher usually likes to cut to a pretty girl in the crowd to downplay the homoeroticism of the sport, but after the tenth smash cut continues to find the eye candy preoccupied with the event, we finally cut to the source of their approval.]


[Radu Matei.]


[The most successful World Champion in the history of SWAT, is standing in the centre of the ring.  Deathless' face is still heavily bandaged from that horrific LEGO bump.  Beyond the obvious trauma, the man who inspired fear, hate, loathing, and conquered those feelings to create respect, stands before the SWAT faithful looking tired.  For all the abuse that Matei's body has endured over the past two years, he seems to finally be showing the pain.]


Jeremy Tucker: Fans, we have been joined at ringside by the Sacrificial Idol.


Andrew Fulton: Talk about your double rainbows, we sure haven't seen a lot of him this season.


Jeremy Tucker: Given how many times he was at death's door, but still managed to compete on a weekly basis, his recent break has been troubling.  I know a lot of the boys, and us crew, have been concerned about him...


Andrew Fulton: I'm surprised he has the nerve to show his face in SWAT, protecting Death Trap from Zoran's killer LEGO climax?  Matei practically handed MCCW the X*Crown!


Jeremy Tucker: This really isn't the time, Andrew.


Andrew Fulton: I'm just saying what we're all thi- um... Radu looks like he's lost a lot of muscle mass.


Jeremy Tucker: It's just good to have him back.


[The 2019 Helloween Cup winner slowly raises a microphone.  Looking at the friendly faces in the crowd - you can tell he is struggling.]


[Sad smile.]


Radu Matei: Fans... there has been a lot of speculation about my future in the sport.


"How did SWAT Classic lose the Anzac Cup?"


"Has The Beast lost a step?  Did he come back too soon?  It seemed like he gave all he had left to get past Caffrey - but the KGB took him apart, and the finals?  He was fighting against time." <shakes head> The finals.  It seems like you can't read a dirt sheet or blog without someone analyzing my performance in that match.  "Was he working hurt?  Did he blow his knee out in the first minute?"  I am not sure if the version in the XHF archives uses the best camera shots, but If any of you still have the live broadcast on your PVR, or pick up the bluray, I'm told you can find the exact Johnny Valentine punch...


...where my kidney exploded.


[...A hush sweeps over the crowd.]


Radu Matei <forced smile>: I'm sure if it had been one of his patented dropkicks, I'd be dead. <tries to chuckle, but the attempted mirth dies fast> No worries, half my body is probably artificial at this point, but that, uh, that organ being PULPED was the last straw for my doctor.  "You step in that ring one more time, and you're not leaving it."  I like to laugh off the pleas for retirement - and other common sense medical professionals throw my way... have been for a decade.


[Beat.  Radu is having a visibly hard time composing himself.]


Radu Matei: ...but this time... yeah.  I'm not sure what I have left.


[As a few chants start up in the crowd that seem vulgar enough to warrant audio being dampened, Radu raises a shaken hand to silence them.]


Radu Matei: No.  This isn't Johnny's fault.  Every man and woman in the back knows the breaks when they step in the ring.  One could also say that I pushed my luck a little too far with my championship run.  I haven't stepped foot in a SWAT ring without suffering at least one career ending injury or another per match, I was just too stupid to listen when my body screamed out in pain "FUCKING KILL ME!"  So don't chalk it up to that kidney injury.  Maybe I came back too soon for the Anzac, and maybe I should have thrown in the towel a long time ago.  God knows I feel like my current situation is more related to my Rumble match, but I refuse to give Zoran and Timeless the satisfaction of saying they put me out to pasture.  Few would have crawled back from that LEGO bomb... when I look at my handful of 2020 appearances, I'm inclined to agree with the professionals in that I *might* have a death wish.


So... blame?  That is all on me.


When you make your gimmick "bleeding for good causes," eventually you are going to run out of blood.


(A strong "Radu" chant starts up from the crowd, paying tribute to a fallen hero.)


Radu Matei: I was the gross guy who covered his opponents in live insects.  Playing with, and consuming bugs, to illicit feeling of revulsion from both my opponents and the crowd.  During this SWAT run, you people took a man - a man who wasn't especially nice - and you looked past the many peculiarities to discover and embrace the little good in him.  Good he still can't see himself.  I don't know why you took a chance on this rotting husk, but these past two years have been the finest of my career, and happiest of my life.  Even if it sped me along to an early retirement... I wouldn't trade our time together for the world.


[There is that "R" word again.  The fans want to be respectful, but every time DEATHLESS pumps them up, a retirement reference hurts.]


Radu Matei: If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.


I can retire content, knowing that SWAT is in good hands, and look back fondly on our time together with no regrets.





[Radu starts to leave the ring....]



Jeremy Tucker: I can't believe what we're hearing.


Andrew Fulton: We all knew he was on borrowed time but-






[...Radu stops halfway through the ropes.]






Radu Matei: ...maybe one regret.





*POP OF THE NIGHT*




(A smile creeping in, Matei slowly walks back to the centre of the ring. Chants start up through the audience with suggestions on who he should wrestle...)




"Valentine Dream Match!"  
"Kill Zoran!"
"Lucky Linda!  One.  More.  Time!!!"
"Fuck Zoran Up!"
"Syberus Rematch!"
"Zoran needs a maggot shower!"
"Stake Canelli!"
"Save us from Zoran!"
"Timeless Must Die!"


(There are a lot of strong opinions on final opponents.  It's touching that none of them thought to chant, "put your health first."  Radu takes in the suggestions, acting like he's actually considering them to work the crowd into a frothing excitement.)


Radu Matei: ...I have been told that wrestling again is just too damned dangerous.  So to risk stepping into the ring for action, would require the kind of regret... that would haunt the rest of my days.





[...]






Radu Matei: Suzi Spitz.



*POP*



Radu Matei: In the past eight years I have a single SINGLES loss.


Battleground 20.  The Gold Standard.  My twelfth world title defence.  A four-way-dance.  You.  Me.  And the KGB's Canelli and Timeless.


My world title run came to an end... with me dragging your unconscious body on top of me to prevent Timeless from becoming world champion.


Now, I really dislike the KGB - but even though I chose you to carry on the legacy of the world title, its not as though I passed the torch in a way that made you look like the champion.  You are an amazing wrestler Spitz, and I respect the hell out of you.  Looking back, I'm not sure if my efforts to thwart Timeless did you any favours.  Holding the belt is still a great honour.  You are part of a small group of athletes that can claim the Syndicate Wrestling And Tradition World Championship.  No matter how many defences, length of run, or the manner in which you won it - Suzi Spitz holds the same distinction as Dan Stein, Vince Viper, Johnny Valentine, or myself.


So when I say that I am CHALLENGING you to a match at Memorial---


*BIG POP*


Radu Matei: It is not to avenge my ONLY loss, nor is it a way to pay you back for not passing the torch in a more dignified manner.  NO.

This is about TWO SWAT WORLD CHAMPIONS... and there aren't a lot of us - finally having the singles match they SHOULD have had when the belt switched.

Is it going to be my last match?


[Beat.]


Radu Matei: Memorial is the event in which we pay tribute to members of our family that are no longer with us.  Most mornings I feel like I am drawing closer to the other side of that festival.  Celebrating history.  Our one on one encounter is a piece of SWAT History that doesn't exist.  Beyond our complicated past, I know that the two of us can put on a contest worthy of our fallen friends.



...And if it ends up being my final appearance?  



I can't think of a person I would rather have opposite me in the ring.



[Lowering the microphone, The Sacrificial Idol nods to the camera before exiting the ring.  Radu chants go up, but the career heel still finds the audience approval uncomfortable.]

Jeremy Tucker: Wow.

Andrew Fulton: No way is Radu retiring.  Dropping people on their heads is like crystal meth to him.

Jeremy Tucker: He didn't look happy about his health prognosis, but it certainly explains his current schedule.  Either way, the memorial challenge has been laid down.  The Sacrificial Idol and the woman who beat him for the world title, finally having a singles match.  Radu Matei and Suzi Spitz.  That promises to be something special.

[Trent Jones MR Bones.]

Molly had come home because Trent had her worried but he made her believe he was ok. But let’s face it he is isn’t ok he is fucking wonderful. After a week of having these people in black worshiping him had finally made him feel like a champion. SWAT roster has showed him no respect but then again Trent has no respect.

Trent has arrived to the arena early and was sitting in his locker room. The locker room lights were off just the glow of a monitor was the only light. Trent has watched the Rally Jackson promo. He flips the lights on in the room and he smiles.

“God that has to be the dumbest laziest mother fucker in the world. How does someone like him become a two belt champion. It’s easy the competition here in SWAT is bad. There are times I am almost embarrassed to admit I wrestle here.”

Trent walks towards his title as it sits on the counter area he picks it up, “tonight I learn who I face next, is it Syb 110% tired of losing to Trent or do I face the only man to ever get a draw with me in a one on one match. My good friend Eddie D.”

Trent puts the title on his shoulder as he sits back down, “people in the back here at SWAT like to talk shit, Armand  you all know best as the reject who made RSW fail. He had the nerve to say that tonight Trent Jones loses to Rally Jackson. Let’s face it Armand must be sitting on a dirty ass blue couch doing meth with a crack head wanker if he thinks I am dropping this title.” Trent laughs.

Trent actually pulls out of his bag the skin flesh ask on Jonnie Valentine and he puts the mask on. “Oh no I can’t have a dog, I get jealous it can lick its own crotch. And now the Syb has proved he is better than me, and the rally has 2 titles no one wants to even stroke me.” Trent removes the mask, “look Jonnie you are stuck in the past I have said it many times today you are talking about 2004, 16 years have passed and the only thing that hasn’t progressed is you. So feel free to let me live rent free in your head but if you're going to talk about me, at least make it funny or accurate. The only dog I have fucked is that bitch of an ex wife I had.”

Trent exhaled and paused for a second, “the fuck you talking about trump rallies, I don’t give a shit about politics and I sure wouldn’t take Suzi spit anywhere and especially no place called piggly wiggly. I wear a mask. I wear the mask of those that failed against me, lucky for me I don’t have to collect one for every win over you.” Trent laughs again, “you talk about how I only defended it once but after winning it I have to face you again and again. But don’t worry I am defending tonight.”

Trent then sets the title in his lap, “Frostbite what’s eating away at you so bad? Oh shit the cancer. At the end of the day you can come to the parish if you think you're taking my belt you may want to talk to the doctor about your delusions. Man this is fun you see I don’t normally pay attention to the common trash of SWAT but when you make me face Rally I have to find something to talk about. You all want to pretend I am not the best and I get it, frostbite at some point we will have a match and I will gladly put you in your place. Maybe you can ask them at Make A Wish Foundation to give you that match with your hero. I might even let you get in a few punches to make you feel good.”

*************************

The arena lights go out as some previously recorded footage plays in the arena.

Trent wakes up and he is holding his chest, the pain is real and he hears something. He looks in the mirror and sees the branding on his chest. He quickly grabs a Brother In Anarchy shirt and makes his way towards the bedroom door. He trips over something and realizes the goth girl is laying on the floor. He helps her up.

“What the fuck are you doing in my room and laying on my floor are you ok?” she nods her head yes as Trent continues, “Look Molly is home does the church still have all the mask and stuff in it?”

She nods her head yes.

“You need to go, sneak out while I talk to Molly” Tret hurries down into the home part of the church. Hoping and praying that Molly hasn't walked through the church part. Trent rounds the corner to the living room and he sees Molly. She looks very angry, “Hey baby you didn't need to cut your trip short…”

Molly puts her pointer finger out… “You lied to me… You said you were taking your meds, but I got a call from the Arena asking for your mailing address so they could send you all of your meds… Damn it, Trent my ex was a lying piece of shit I can’t do this again. Please just tell me the truth.”

At that point maybe it was being off the meds the last almost week, or it was the unexplainable masked people and the branding on his chest he really didn't know where to start. Trent closed his eyes and held them tight, hoping when he woke up this would all be just another dream. He opened his eyes and Molly's face was becoming angrier by the second and that was not normal for her.

“Speak up Trent, what do you have to say for yourself?”

Trent takes her hand and walks her towards the church. Part of him is afraid because he is worried who or what might be in the church. They enter the church and it appears it is empty of people. Molly notices the skull on the wall.

“Trent I don't think my mother or father are going to approve of this dark stuff in here when they visit later this month.”

“Visit? Later this month? When, What?”

Molly just stopped and looked at him, “So the other night when you said to have them come up for a visit you didn't mean it?”

Trent was quick to respond, “It was just a joke baby off course I want them to come here. But they have to understand that your Dating Trent Jones… Mr Bones. And this is my layer.”

Molly wasn't really paying attention as she walked towards the mask on the wall. Trent took a deep breath as he prepared to hear her go off.

“Trent these masks look so real like, have you ordered a replica of Rally Jackson face yet?”
Trent was not sure how to answer because he wasn't really sure where they came from and why they came in the first place.

“Yeah baby I got someone that takes care of all of that.”

Molly excused herself to go take a shower and she asked Trent to grab her bags. Trent went outside and he noticed the goth girl was standing at a grave. Trent looked back at the house and headed towards the grave. “What are you doing here still?” he touched her arm and looked at her.

She finally turned towards him, “We are one… this is my grave, I am forever here master.” She touches trent arm and she smiles at him.

“What do you mean We Are One? What the fuck your not dead?”

Meanwhile inside the home Molly looks out and sees Trent is talking to himself near a grave. She becomes worried, she grabs her cellphone and makes a call.

“Look Eddie D I am worried about Trent, he is having conversations with people that are not there. He hasn't had his meds. Last time he was off his meds he didn't perform well in the ring and I don't want him to lose his title. His meds should be here today hopefully it will help.”

Back out in the Graveyard Trent continues to talk to the girl but he turns and notices Molly is watching him. He knows he is caught. He walks away from the girl and grabs Mollys bag. In his head he plans to just say she was visiting a grave of a loved one and she wanted to know if they were the new owners. He made his way inside.

“Look Trent, I saw you talking…”

Trent goes to cut her off. “I can explain”

“I called Eddie D and told him I was worried about you talking to people that are not there. He agrees that once your meds make it back today you will be better. Don't be mad I called him, i just wanted to let him know because I won't be able to go to the show that night. I have to get things done for Mom and Dad coming to meet you when you get back.”

Trent felt relieved she didn't see the goth girl. One of the benefits of being a large tall man. But then he got to thinking, maybe this girl is dead and he can only see her. But then he thought about the fact that she called his tag partner. But he blew it off; he knew she was just worried about him.

Trent kissed Molly and he told her he was going to shower. Trent reached the bathroom and started the water. “Do you want me to wash you master?” Trent turned and the Goth girl was in the bathroom looking at him.

Trent stopped undressing and he turned towards her. “So am I the only one that can see you?”

The girl moves closer towards T
rent, “Why do you want to see me with other people?”

Trent realized she took that all wrong, “I meant if you're dead is it just me that can see you?”

She whispered as she pulled trents shirt off. “I can't do this, even if you're invisible to the world I can't cheat on Molly. Please you got to go.”

*******************
Its later at night,Trent and Molly are cuddled up in Trent's arms. But then Trent feels something and his ear is licked he turns and sees the goth girl. She nibbles on his ear but then he feels Molly moving, “Trent you are such a bad boy, waking me up a third time for sex in the night.”

The camera cuts out and when it comes back in Trent is sitting in the church. Its late at night and he feels someone is in the room. He doesn't have to look, he knows its the dead goth girl and he tries to avoid her.

The candles on the altar light once more on their own. Trent stands before the church as the doors open, people dressed in black enter the church. They don't speak but they sit down all holding the black leather books. Trent turns and the girl hands him a black robe and red stole. He puts it on, Trent is so confused but then the three masked men arrive with their flesh mask on and they walk and sit on the altar in three chairs. He walks over to the podium and he speaks to these people.

“Brothers and Sisters…I stand before you the SWAT champion of the world. The killer of trash…. Mr Bones… I am ready to bring you more flesh. Rally Jackson the BBQ fat guy will be a great meal for each of you.”

The Parish by Alla Xul Eul starts playing as red strobe lights flicker. Trent Steps out wearing a black priest robe and a red stohl as he walks towards the ring. Trent has on Valentine's Face mask. The red strobe light flickers. Once he makes it half way down to the ring. Red smoke starts coming from the ramp. Once he reaches the ring, a podium is set up for Trent to speak at.

“Brothers and Sisters of The Parish I stand before you today as Your SWAT Heavyweight Champion. This week the powers that be in this shit hole think that Rally Jackson deserves a shot at this belt. But let's face it, he has no chance of winning tonight. Tonight after I beat him the Tag TItle shot for me and Eddie D has to be right around the corner. But Let's look at the difference. I am a big strong man some even say I am a god. The parish chose me for good reasons. Let's face it no one is going to choose you Rally.”

Trent removes the mask and takes off the robe, he has on a Killin it shirt. He seems to be ready to throw down. “Rally Jackson I am ready to get this match started. Why don't you walk your pregnant ass down here to the ring. I am going to kick that baby out of your belly and make it shoot out the Mangina that you are sporting. You know I wanted to respect you, I wanted you to be the first person I respected other than Eddie D. But the truth is you're a bitch and at the end of night I am going to put a bitch in her place. Now before any of you women want to complain about that guy tonight… You spell it Trent Jones… But look Its not sexiest its just that well let's face it. Rally is Trash. The guy has belts he doesn't deserve to have. You see I was never supposed to win this belt but They gave me the shot and I proved I was the man. I proved I am still the man.”

Trent stops being so serious as he stands back up. “Some say I don’t promote this place the way I should, I dont act Like a champion… its the same shit every week. I am sorry I am not offering to jerk this place off and act like I am so grateful for everything this place has given me. This place is not given a damn thing. I came in and stole match after match and proved I was the man that I claimed to be. I don't owe my life to anyone, I don't need to dedicate this to my loyal fans. But let's face it the Parish is the only people that believed in me. Well and my good friend Eddie D.”

Trent heads to the back as The Parish starts playing.

[mosler]

(Memorial.)


So Memorial is on ze horizon...


(The offices of the Syndicate Wrestling And Tradition commissioner are covered in the championship belts that make up the X*Crown. Sitting behind his desk, Zoran Sainovic looks down at a notepad, which roughly maps out the upcoming pay per view. Black ink violently crosses out the names at the top of the card. Red ink cuts through the various machinations, linking names that were meant for better things. Over the course of a season, this masterful game plan has been ravaged.)


(The best laid plans.)


(The Final Boss pushes the pad to the side of his desk, having a few surprises on it, he would rather not divulge to the public.)


Zoran Sainovic: Memorial.


(A long sigh.)


Zoran Sainovic: A sad time. Oh, yeah, remembering dead former employees, sure........ but beyond ZOSE tragedies, it pulls on my passionate heartstrings for other reasons.


(It is hard for the greatest X*Crown champion of all time not to get emotional.)


Zoran Sainovic: I’m not sure if any of you are aware of zis, but I have spent ze better part of zis year setting up a main event zat would make our summer pay per view, Memorial, ze crowning jewel of ze SWAT schedule. <using hand gestures to illustrate his points> Move over New Years Nightmare, we’re bringing out ze dead!


Let me set ze stage.


First, sign one of ze biggest names in ze XHF to a record setting contract, to let ze rest of ze network know zat we were HERE and weren’t going anywhere. After getting a lot of new eyes on our product with ze hire, I zen let ze federation know zat despite ze lucrative contract, zere was mutual disdain between myself and zis superstar, and zen slow burn our bad blood. Ze longer it boils, ze larger ze dollar signs grow in my eyes.


When I was ze X*Crown champion, only ONE MAN in zis company was worthy of challenging! He was also ze most vocal about wanting a shot. Did I give it to him? Hell no! Because I was scared? Nah. Zis was our MONEY MATCH. It was important to build to it, and, you know, make him pay his dues with ZIS company... its not rocket science.


Ze best laid plans.


(Developing a nervous tick in his sneer, Zoran runs a black marker across the name headlining his envisioned pay per view until the paper almost rips.)


Zoran Sainovic: Ze rumble proved ze first monkey wrench for our biggest match of ze year. Professional zat I am, I tried to look at ze silver lining. Toni and myself putting our mutual hate on hold to take on ze rest of ze XHF, and proving to ze world zat we were a cut above ze rest. With us as ze last two men standing, it would draw attention to our inevitable singles showdown.


At least zat was ze plan, but Toni ended up SCREWING ME OVER because he knew he could definitely take Jack Diamond as ze last man. I mean, who couldn't?  But Me? I zink we ALL know how it would have gone down one on one.


So Caffrey stole MY X*Crown.


Fine. I’m ze most over guy on ze NETWORK, <waves hand at the many Z crown titles> so I don’t personally need belts. We still had the top prize, however, for everyone to know zat Sainovic SLASH Caffrey isn’t just SWAT’s match of ze year, but ze XHFs. Unfortunately we had one more monkey wrench... I showed Caffrey respect.


When ze only challenger worth a damn, ME, is being kept back for Pay Per View – who do we have to challenge ze strap? I threw dozens of bodies at Toni Caffrey, but for all ze multi-men matches and Lucky Linda defenses – is it making him look like ze best of ze best? Toni is a GREAT champion.  Toni Caffrey WANTS ze best challengers. He wants to be a fighting champion without lame duck challengers. At Call to Arms, Toni Caffrey DIDN’T join Team SWAT because he rightfully expected to defend ze title zat night. Zat didn’t pan out. Kind of hurt his rumble momentum, if I'm not lying. With Hyperon LOOMING on ze horizon at Night of Champions, we were going to need some serious matches to remind ze XHF zat SWAT was ze best federation to host ze X*Crown and zat Caffrey was ze second best man for ze job, after yours truly, of course.


Give Caffrey a challenge worthy of him, while taking momentum away from ze Call to Arms winners?


I handed it to him on a silver platter.


We all watched me PLAY with Death Trap, OWN him, and prove zat I could beat him at ANY TIME!!! …After bleeding him to ze point where Trap would be easy pickings for ze next man, I DO ZE RIGHT ZING FOR ZE COMPANY... setting up an interpromotional defence zat would make Caffrey look like the champion worthy of NoC and further... my assault. It was all perfectly set up.   Even when I took ze hardware off him, it would be seen as an abuse of power with constant rematches in ze balance.  All while planting ze seeds  for a future title defence by me against my own flesh and blood, Trap – maximum money matches, good vibes abound. Booking 101.


Wrapping a red ribbon on Trap for a tough but ultimately winnable match zat would set ze Network abuzz, check. While ensuring zat Caffrey looked good enough to make it past Team Fuck Mongo at Night of Champions with ze X*Crown, I then created ze Z*Crown – an affront to ze multi-championship crown. When Toni finally defended ze many X*Crown belts against me while trying to seal my Z*Crown at Memorial, Caffrey wouldn’t just be a hero to SWAT, which he is, he would also be standing up for ze XHF proper, doing right by all ze people who still weren’t sold on his face turn immediately because zey actually KNOW him. Ze full good guy seal of approval to let you all in on what I already knew..


Zat Anthony Caffrey IS ze best of us.


Yeah, it was going to be a zing of beauty.


I zrew Toni one more softball, but I couldn’t have predicted ze politics.  Politics?  Full circle.  Who knew?


So Caffrey lost ze crown. You can blame politics, you can blame Death Trap having superior genetic make-up, mine, you can blame Caffrey.. I personally blame Radu Ma’fucking-tei for keeping Death Trap from being a walking corpse. Timeless would like us to blame him.


Ze best laid plans.


I’m going to double down on ze only dream match worth a damn, and hope zat Toni gets his head back in ze game. Having NO DOUBT zat gold will not elude him for long, class act zat I know him to be.


(Swivelling in his chair, Zoran looks back at his many championship belts. Oh, the Z*Crown may not have been around as long as the X*Crown... but at least the belts in Zoran’s crowning achievement aren’t jokes.)


Zoran Sainovic: Congratulations Death Trap. Your mother and me are very proud of you. Whoever she is. I know you’ll keep ze belts warm for me zrough ze Night of Champions. ...And I’m not just saying zat because COVID is lightening up in some markets, allowing Hyperion – ze man to beat – to focus on drinking instead of mounting a real challenge. You’ll go a long way son.


(Turning back from his titles, The Final Boss shoots the camera an icy gaze.)


Zoran Sainovic: Alex Turner.


Having inserted yourself into ze X*Crown match, you have tarnished ze companies’ fair play image. Zat is fine – provided you capitalize on it. At Memorial, you’ll get a chance to prove to everyone zat you should be going after ze world title. With Caffrey trying to put ze pieces back together – zat will be your BEST chance to make a name for yourself.


Unfortunately, as I accommodate Caffrey – I myself will be forced to sully my hands with a lesser opponent. For inconveniencing me, Timeless, there will be consequences.


You know how I told Lucky Linda zere would have to be MASSIVE layoffs to pay off her No Man’s Land winnings? Lets start with ze Amazon division.


Who has been ze most dominant voice in the Amazon division? Really helped it to move forwards over ze past year? Oh right.


Zat contest between Jade and Canelli? I’ve decided after ze fact, zat ZAT was a LOSER LEAVES TOWN match.



Well done, Jade.


Joanne “The Don” Canelli.


Your services will no longer be required by SWAT. We wish you ze best with your future endeavours.


(Reaching across his desk, Zoran pulls out the letter of termination.)


Zoran Sainovic: Congratulations Linda. Your main rival has been axed as a result of your greed. I love it.  Ze division you are champion of, just lost its strongest challenger. I hope ze money was worth it.


(Sainovic has been accused of abusing his power a lot over the past few months. Those accusers had NO idea what abuse meant.)


Zoran Sainovic: Happy Alex? You’ve just lost ze ONE person in your little group zat actually found your Sir Wins-a-lot shtick charming. I would rather see you suffer zan Joanne, but as ze numbers of your group dwindle? I have a feeing your going to hurt a lot more in ze long run. As ze KGB lose zeir representative for ze Amazon division, I suppose you should find a new girl to gun for Linda’s strap. Zat seems like a hole zat Roxyilicious can fill.


At least you’ll be around to watch Roxyilicious back, right?


Well... Caffrey REALLY wanted a loser leaves town match.


And if he can’t get past you, is he ze opponent I built him up to be?


So can ze KGB lose as many members in two weeks?


Lets find out!


Anthony Caffrey versus Timeless Alex Turner... loser leaves town. Zis is shaping up to be a Memorial to remember! And ALEX... even if you get a pink slip, doesn’t mean Roxy will be joining you on ze unemployment line... she has a contract, which is tighter zan her, no doubt.  It will make it harder for you to keep her safe zough. Maybe you can find a gig at MCCW to pay for her hospital bills, zey definitely owe you one.


(You get the feeling that Zoran isn’t taking the X*Crown loss as well as he fronts.)


Zoran Sainovic: One less mouth to feed further fills ze money bank to payout Triple L. Did I hear zat Lucky Linda actually AGREED to put her money on ze line in a match with me? <claps hands in joy> What a silly bitch. <thumbs up> YOU GO GIRL! <composes self> My respect for you has just grown by leaps and bounds! And I thought zis was going to be a feel bad video.


<chuckle> Oh Linda, ze wheels are turning. Bless your enthusiasm.


Since you were willing to put up ze cash as a sign of good faith, Linda, I am going to roll up my sleeves and create a contest zat lets you grow as a person. Can you believe it? Helping others. <waves off the praise> I’m a saint, I know. Ze Anzac Cup finals – you kind of let your partner down pretty badly. If only you had shown ze same SPUNK against ze Society zat burns like herpes for your Final Boss. Call to Arms? More of ze same!  Sign up a team to slap hands with, and you let zem down.


If you had a character arc, it would definitely be singles glory - helping others, not so much. No wonder Avery is nowhere to be seen. People tag with you for a single match and want zis promotion to fold. So zis is your big chance!


DREAM PARTNERS!


A Dream Partner Tag Match! With all ze money you haven’t lost JUST yet, you’ll have no problem buying a big name to have your back… and me? I’m actually OVER; people are DYING to tag with me. I won’t have a problem bringing in ze kind of legendary shooter zat breaks bitches legs. Your legs, specifically. So reach into your rolodex and go for broke, Linda... because I have another little stipulation in ze works for our tag match, and if you don’t bring ze VERY BEST, well, you will be both figuratively AND literally broke.


(A feint smile. Radu Matei was Linda’s best chance at victory. If that broken fossil is already tied up? The Final Boss is going to become very rich man.)


Zoran Sainovic: So zere you have it... Syberus challenging ze winner of tonight’s world title match. Radu Matei seems to be retiring against Suzi Spitz. Good riddance. Anthony Caffrey and Alex Turner in a loser leaves town match. I’m crying a river for zis memorial! And yours truly, showing ze world zat Lucky Linda has absolutely NO FRIENDS!!!


Zis is shaping up to be a scorched earth pay per view. Which are ze BEST kinds! I hope we don’t have marketing rebuilding ze talent bios on ze website, because I have a feeling zis is going to be a swan song for half ze roster. I’ll miss zem. …More zan ze dead at least.


<shakes head> Ze best laid plans.


(Shaking his head in bemused disgust, Zoran turns back to his notepad as the feed cuts back to the announce team.)


Jeremy Tucker: A lot of big announ... no. Joanne Canelli fired. I... look, regardless of what you thought of her, Joanne has been the face of the AMAZON division for years, and one of the corner stones of SWAT. Arbitrarily letting her go? Firing her after the fact? Zoran Sainovic is redefining unprofessional.


Andrew Fulton: Joanne will never stand for this! Trust me Jeremy, she’ll be back in the ring long after Sainovic is given his walking papers.


Jeremy Tucker: A lot of announcements from our interim commissioner, but it certainly sounds like his personal vendettas are just burning bridges for SWAT at this point.


Andrew Fulton: And blaming Linda for all these personnel cuts? Who does he think he’s kidding?


Jeremy Tucker: For an interim commissioner, his reign of terror has already lasted EIGHT MONTHS. I hope the board of directors are seeing all this... I... I just can’t. Joanne Canelli deserved better than this.


Andrew Fulton: We all do.

[King Syberus]

[The camera opens on Syberus. Just stood there, wiping Eddie D's stench of failure off him with a rag.]

***POP OF THE NIGHT***

[radu]

[Watching from home this viewer can't help but marvel at that AMAZING towel wipe. If only Syberus had put half the energy into Call to Arms as he did into wiping the stench off him, he might not have been pinned in seconds by some random jobber.]

[mosler]

[What a gloomy night.]


[Lightning flashes, illuminating a dilapidated mansion sitting atop a lonely hill. A solitary figure makes it up to the menacing structure just as intense rains beat down from the heavy clouds. Wolves howl. Not wanting to be left out in the dark, the camera chooses what he hopes is the lesser of two evils, following the figure in...]


[Baggy orange turtleneck. Short, red pleated skirt, knee socks, mary jne shoes. Is that Velma Dinkley?]


[More lightning! More howling!]


[Has the videographer found himself in a Scooby Doo mystery? This mansion is rather creepy.]


[Storm windows blow open, gusts of wind tearing through thick dust. The particles dance through the air like a ghost.]








“My glasses! My glasses!”

[Yes, it’s Velma.]


[The videographer hopes the mystery machine isn’t searching for a werewolf.]


[As Velma searches the floor, a figure leaps out of the shadows looking a bit like Luke Skywalker. The Star Wars loving tool gives Velma, a light shove, sending her crashing through a trap door into depths of the grim houses’ cellars.]


“Jeepers!!!”


[The videographer rushes towards the hole in the floor, just as quickly as Luke Skywalker disappears back into the shadows.]


Cameraman: Miss? Miss!
















[He notices a piece of paper on the floor...]



















“Dear Elisabeth,
I have discovered the whereabouts of the original missing funds from the No Man’s Land tournament - this time for sure. This suggests corruption on the highest level. I don’t know whom I can trust within the organization, let alone accounting, but we have always seen eye to eye. Please meet me off site at our next event, where I shall show you the books that confirm this damning scenario. This is a matter of some urgency. Please be discrete,
ZS
P.S. For the purposes of not raising suspicions, and because it makes your flight tax deductible, kindly wear the enclosed costume.”














[…]

[The camera cuts back to the arena.]

Jeremy Tucker: So Velma Dinkley wasn’t actually Velma Dinkley, but Liz from accounting?!

Andrew Fulton: That makes sense. She’s not a cartoon.

Jeremy Tucker: Was that Marty Donovan who dropped her down that hole?

Andrew Fulton: It’s impossible to tell, given how dark it was. ...But who else dresses like Luke Skywalker 24/7?

Jeremy Tucker: At 68-years-old, I don’t see how Liz would have survived that drop.

Andrew Fulton: She should really use her lottery winnings to retire from being a SWAT accountant, also, stop cosplaying in horrible settings at the request of our commissioner. It never ends well.

Jeremy Tucker: Hindsight.


[The footage of the mansion returns. With no rain in sight, the feed seems both live, and substantially later in the day.]


[Zoran Sainovic steps into frame, the menacing structure behind him.]


Zoran Sainovic: A few years ago, in memory of ze late, great, Arizona Assassin – Vile “Vince” Viper introduced a novelty match to ze Atlantic Coast region of SWAT.  Ze Haunted House Death Match. It proved so popular, zat plans were put in place to make it a permanent fixture of ze SWAT calendar. Unfortunately, Valentine was hard up for cash – and since Pesci liked HARDKORE World more zan any sane person would, ze Helloween Cup became our annual spooky event.


I have decided to bring it back.


Linda – you and your partner, me and mine.


Hidden within zis Haunted House will be MY Z*Crown and ze No Man’s Land winnings zat YOU’RE putting up, Linda... along with a few other baubles zat may interest our partners. Find a prize, leave with ze prize. As simple as zat. Who knows? You might even run into a few familiar faces amongst ze skeleton’s in its closet.


Sounds easy enough.


But zat structure is pretty old, and pretty dangerous. Creaking floor boards, moving shadows – it’s easy for ze mind to play tricks.  If you don’t have a partner you trust to watch your back OR your money?


It might just be YOUR Memorial.


[Zoran Sainovic smiles, as the camera feed cuts out.]

Jeremy Tucker: I hope Linda has a good partner up her sleeve, or we’ll never see Liz again.

Andrew Fulton: Soutter and Matei are already booked. Who is she going to get, Frostbite? That didn’t work out too well last time.

[SWAT Team]

Danny Aiello ‘Papa wants the Best’
hits and Jonnie comes out dressed in a red tasseled jacket with "Monsieur Dropkick" written in cursive lettering on the back. Red trunks and white boots with "JV" embroidered on them. Jonnie jogs down to the ring, slapping fans hands, doing a full lap around the front row. He finds an old lady or geeky teen singing his theme song, and he sings along with them. He pulls on the top rope to vault inside the ring and does the double guns to the crowd, holding the SWAT World Title up in the air for all to see.

Frank Salazar : Ladies and Gentleman, the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall!!! Introducing first, hailing from Palm Springs, California. Coming in at 5’10 and 234 pounds .... his is a former SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ..... HARD TO FOLLOW .... JONNIE VALENTINE!!!!

The arena's lights go off and the fans immediately launch into a roaring pop at the sounds of Fall Out Boy's "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" and the sight of their X-Crown Champion. Anthony Caffrey takes a few moments to stand up at the top of the ramp, looking out at those in the Caffrey Corner before heading down to the ring.

Once Caffrey stops looking to the cheering fans, he locks eyes with the opposition. He does not break eye contact with tonight's opponent as he walks with a laser focus -- at least until he makes it to the ring steps. He reaches down and taps his ankle before pointing at his opponent. He then makes a simple motion to mime breaking it in half as if his opponent's ankle was a simple wishbone. The crowd join along in the motion, knowing the veteran technician has a deep list of broken ankles in his history.

Caffrey steps into the ring and moves past his opponent, handing his glasses off to the timekeeper. He looks back at his opponent and does a few last minute stretches, knowing he's in for a battle.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from The greatest city in the world -- Philadelphia, PA. Coming in at 6’4 and 223 pounds .... ANTHONY CAFFREY!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Look at these two giants of the business, both ready to show the other and the world for that matter who is the better man.

Andrew Fulton : What’s with the Danny Aiello music? Was that a rib by someone in the back? Rally maybe?

Jeremy Tucker : No, I saw Valentine backstage earlier giving the new track to the production guys, My Heart Beats may be gone forever I fear.

Andrew Fulton : Hallelujah!

Jeremy Tucker : It was a great song. He wrote it himself. Referee Mick Donovan calls for the bell and we are underway here. Collar elbow tie up and Valentine with a hip toss to Caffrey. Caffrey quick back to his feet and Valentine arm drags him, then locks in an arm bar. Valentine bad mouthing Caffrey while applying the arm bar, trying to get in his head.

Andrew Fulton : Valentine has seen and done it all, and Caffrey is a bit of a hot head, he is fuming in that arm bar and rolls out of it and goes for a big elbow strike to Jonnie, but Jonnie ducks under it and fireman carries Caffrey over and locks in another arm bar.

Jeremy Tucker : Great chain wrestling by the Heat Magnet. Caffrey with a shot to the gut of Jonnie and he whips him to the ropes and runs in catching Jonnie with a knee to the gut. That took the wind outta Jonnie and he hunches over and DDT by Caffrey!

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey looks a bit unbalanced out there, things haven’t been going to well for him of late, since losing his X Crown last show to Death Trap ….

Jeremy Tucker : Thanks to Timeless mind you …

Andrew Fulton : Yes, I would like to thank Timeless also for that.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey is going to thank him first hand at the Memorial, did you hear, it’s going to be a loser leaves SWAT match.

Andrew Fulton : What a cry baby. Timeless IS SWAT! He has been here since day one of our return, and he isn’t going anywhere, who does Caffrey think he is to put such a stipulation on the line?

Jeremy Tucker : He is that angry with Timeless that no only does he need to defeat him and make him pay for costing him that X Crown, but the fed is no longer big enough for both of them, and one of them must go.

Chop to the chest by Caffrey lights up Valentine.

Andrew Fulton : I’ll pack his bags myself, good riddance to the entitled prick.

Valentine with a receipt, chops Caffrey and the fans WOOOO!

Jeremy Tucker : Whoa. We gotta stay professional and not get involved.

Chop to the chest by Caffrey to Jonnie.

Andrew Fulton : No. You can be ‘professional’. ME, I call it like I see it. I may not be the biggest fan of Valentine and the Society, but he is a legend and deserves respect and did you hear the way Caffrey disrespected him in the promotionals leading up to this encounter?

Chop by Valentine

Jeremy Tucker : I did hear that, and I put it down to Caffrey being upset about the XHF situation, he wants some blood after losing the X Crown and Valentine is just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Chop by Caffrey

Andrew Fulton : And since when did Caffrey become a Syberus mark and cheerleader? I remember when Syb kicked his butt and he got all bent out of shape.

Chop by Valentine

Jeremy Tucker : I don’t think you should be going there.

Chop by Caffrey

Andrew Fulton : I’ll go wherever I want. That’s the difference between you and the ‘voice of SWAT!’ I’ll say whatever I like and if someone doesn’t like it, then do something about it.

Hard right hand punch by Valentine.

Jeremy Tucker : All Caffrey said was Syberus has EARNT his respect. You are way out of line.

European uppercut by Caffrey

Andrew Fulton : That’s not all he said and you know it.

Another big right hand by Jonnie.

Jeremy Tucker : These two going blow for blow here, neither willing to back down or show any pain. Throat thrust by Caffrey, and he then drop kicks Jonnie, what a drop kick!

Andrew Fulton : There is another insult to Jonnie, he is the MASTER of the drop kick!

Jeremy Tucker : He may well be, but he just ate one there courtesy of Caffrey. Clothesline from Caffrey and a beaty!

Andrew Fulton : Did you hear Valentine in his promotions, I have not seen him that fired up for a long time, Caffrey got under his skin with his comments and Jonnie let him have it.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey letting HIM have it here, laying the boots in and stomping away on the ankle of Valentine.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey drops a knee to the back of Jonnie, and then locks on a Camel Clutch.

Jeremy Tucker : Donovan asking Jonnie if he wants to tap but Jonnie shakes his head. Two of the best technicians here in all of SWAT battling it out and the fans are on the edge of their seats.

Andrew Fulton : Valentine escapes the hold, the crafty veteran knows all the counters, and he comes up behind Caffrey and floors him with a Chicken Wing bodyslam! I wonder which Network Fed Caffrey will end up at after Timeless takes him out at the Memorial.

Jeremy Tucker : Sunset flip by Jonnie to Caffrey, legs pinning the shoulders … Donovan drops for the count ……

One ……………………….

Two …………………..

Caffrey breaks the count with a boot to the head.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey flips Jonnie over and pins him

Jeremy Tucker : One ……………….

Two ………………….

Jonnie rolls the shoulder. Jonnie twists his arm back onto mat until his elbow is exposed and then stomps the elbow, great strategy there, how can he hit the Closing Remarks if his Elbow is gone?

Andrew Fulton : Jonnie giving Caffrey a wrestling lesson here. He woke the sleeping beast it appears in his promotionals.

Jeremy Tucker : Abdominal Strech … WITH A DRAGON SLEEPER! THE STRETCH PLUM! Caffrey trying to wriggle out of it … he quickly puts his leg thru the ropes and Donovan calls for the break. Jonnie breaks and then shoves Caffrey, no respect given here to him. This is getting heated.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey showed him no respect so why should he, anyway, it’s a fight, screw all this respect nonsense!

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey shoves Jonnie back! Then drills him with a legsweep DDT! What a manoeuvre!

Andrew Fulton : How about what Caffrey just did to Timelesses brand new car Jerry! That was real petty and totally uncalled for.

Jeremy Tucker : I don’t know, I thought it was kinda cool.

Andrew Fulton : Cool? Cool? The words ‘cool’ and Caffrey just don’t go together my friend, I am surprised you didn’t choke when saying that.

Jeremy Tucker : I think he is pretty cool. (Fulton rolls his eyes) Surfboard stretch by Caffrey to Jonnie. Who is giving who a wrestling lesson now?

Andrew Fulton : He should be arrested for destruction of personal property if you ask me.

Right on cue, we see a police officer head down to the ring.

Jeremy Tucker : What’s this?

Andrew Fulton : Finally someone is listening to me. He IS going to be arrested, this officer must be here for that.

Jeremy Tucker : No way!

Andrew Fulton : Way! And look at her! She is stunning … THAT’S ROXYLISHUS! When did she get deputised?

Jeremy Tucker : She isn’t you fool! She is here to screw with Caffrey!

Andrew Fulton : I wish she would screw with me! Arrest ME Roxylishus! I did it! I am guilty! Interrogate me …. Please!

Jeremy Tucker : Roxylishus jumps on the apron and referee Mike Donovan looks confused and asks her what is going on, and did you hear her? She said she has a warrant for Caffrey’s arrest! This is absurd!

Andrew Fulton : IT WAS ME! I DID IT! ARREST MEEEEEE!

Jeremy Tucker : Will you stop. Caffrey approaches the ropes warily and tells her to hit the bricks, he is looking around for Timeless knowing what is coming, but Jonnie comes behind him and bounces him off the ropes and then O’Connor rolls him up …. Jonnie bridges ……

ONE …………………….

TWO ………………………….

THREE!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Jonnie got him! Great work Roxylishus!

Jeremy Tucker : She just ruined a mat classic by these two technicians! This is bullshit!

Andrew Fulton : Here comes Timeless. He jumps in the ring and look at him, he is taunting Caffrey, he is just egging him on to touch him! Brilliant!

Jeremy Tucker : What a coward act! He knows Zoran said he can’t touch him! This guy, I can’t wait to see him gone from SWAT!

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey is fuming, I think he is going to snap and just take out Timeless right now, stipulations be damned!

Jeremy Tucker : PICTURE PERFECT DROP KICK! Jonnie Valentine just nailed Timeless with the Picture Perfect dropkick and Timeless flies over the top rope from it!

Andrew Fulton : Here come the Bandits! He wont get away with that!

Frostbite, Fierce and Armand all rush the ring and surround Jonnie and Caffrey! Then, we see a man slide in the ring in a trench coat and holding a baseball bat. He chases the Bandits out of the ring with his bat.

Jeremy Tucker : WHO IS THAT MAN?

Andrew Fulton : I don’t know!

Jeremy Tucker : ITS ROCKIN RICK OWEN!!! What is he doing here?

Andrew Fulton : I don’t know.

Jeremy Tucker : You know much, do you.

Rick stands in the ring, the Tennessee fans going beserk. The Bandits help Timeless up and back pedal up the rampway. Caffrey and Jonnie are staring at Rick wondering where he came from, Caffrey probably wondering who he even is. Rick then nods to Jonnie and slides out of the ring and heads out thru the crowd.

Referee Mike Donovan then raises the hand of Jonnie Valentine in victory as we fade.

[SWAT Team]

We switch to the back and see Rick Owen leaving the arena and Warren W Webber rushes him

Warren W Webber : Rick! What are you doing here?

Rockin Rick Owen : "You know, here I was, enjoying my retirement, visiting the fans, signing autographs, hangin' out in the back, meeting all the new guys, giving them some old school advice, and watching the show.... and wow... I saw what was going down..."

Warren W Webber : Why did you help Jonnie?

Rick Owen : "Valentine and I have never seen eye to eye... on anything really. But you know... a long time ago, when I was a kid... everyday I went to school--it was like getting thrown to the wolves. I was beaten up or harassed almost every single day, all the way up through high school. And then one day, WCW started playing on one of the local channels. I saw Dusty Rhodes take it right back to the bad guys. So I started working out, and changed my life around. I tapped into my inner awesomeness and decided that I was never again going to let anybody push me around and get away with. I decided I was never going to put up with bullies, and I was never going to let any obstacle stop me from my goals. So when I saw Valentine getting ganged up on... even though Valentine ain't exactly my friend, I had to do something... so I did it!"

Webber : Will we see you at the Memorial?

Rick Owen : So yeah, I guess I will be at the Memorial Show. I was going to be there anyways to honor my fallen comrades, Packer and Tanner. So now this old guy that I am... over the hill... still in great cardiovascular and muscular condition... but let's face it, I'm old now. I haven't wrestled in years. So all that ring rust, not being in ring shape--oh yeah, things are gonna get desperate, which means things are gonna get pretty wild. But if you think for one moment that I'm just gonna let anyone steamroll over me--BEWARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE!!!"

Webber : Do i sniff a comeback to SWAT and the ring?

Rick Owen : Well you know, never say never... but uhhh, you know--just this once, my friend. My big rule was retiring at 45. I'm 53 this year, and I can't give the fans the weekly wonder of it all, like I used to. So probably not. But maybe one day, when the kids are old enough, and they're ready to hit the squared circle--you'll see me again in a different capacity.


Webber : Come on Rick, how about one more match? For the fans! Its the Memorial show coming up, ....

Rick Owen : For the Memorial Show.... I will. Absolutely. I stepped into the ring tonight. Now I gotta follow through on the consequences of that, and take responsibility like a man. So yeah, one more match--at the Memorial Show …… Only against one man though. Jonnie Valentine. Tonight I came to his aid, but If I am to have one last match, I wish it to be against HIM"

Rick heads out of the arena as Webber is standing there drop jawed.

Webber : Wow! There you have it folks, next week at the Memorial show, ROCKIN RICK OWEN VS JONNIE VALENTINE!!!!!

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Coming up fans, we have our main event! Trent Jones puts his SWAT World Heavyweight Championship on the line against "The Golden God" Rally Jackson. As usual, Trent Jones is taking his competition rather lightly.

Andrew Fulton: Wouldn't you if you were him? He's 6 foot 6, 364 pounds, and has held onto the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship since April. He easily dispatched with Psychotic Goth, this is just the latest annoyance for him.

Jeremy Tucker: This will be his stiffest challenge to date with current SWAT "Ultra Mega Heavyweight Champion", and one half of the SWAT World Tag Team Champions, "The Golden God" Rally Jackson. Jackson has been wrestling since 1997, winning the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship three times, he's also a former Hardkore America Champion, and held the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Champion twice. He is a former Puerto Rico Wrestling Council Champion, as well as a Hardkore Rocky Mountains Champion and Great White North Wrestling Canadian Champion.

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones isn't sweating The Golden Cow, and after he's done here, he and Eddie D are going to take his tag team titles as well.

"Hate or Glory" by Gesaffelstein hits and the Knoxville fans cheer wildly Rally Jackson makes his way down the ramp way with the SWAT "Ultra Mega Heavyweight" Championship slung over one shoulder and the SWAT World Tag Team Championship slung over the other. He is taking his time and looks seriously out of shape, he gets in the ring and struts around in a confident manner and then cracks his own neck and Tommy Milligan approaches him and starts patting him down.

Jeremy Tucker: "The Golden God" Rally Jackson coming in here amid a flood of accusations of sexual misconduct.

Andrew Fulton: That's pretty par for the course in this industry.

Jeremy Tucker: Most of those incidents pale in comparison to what Rally has done over the years.

Andrew Fulton: Then how do you explain these folks cheering him?

Jeremy Tucker: (shrugs) Trent Jones is abhorrent? Anyway, Rally Jackson looking to make a clean sweep of all the belts and have a historic 2020 here in SWAT.

Andrew Fulton: Pump the brakes there, chief. Eddie D is the reason Rally is holding on to that, that...whatever he's calling that belt now.

Jeremy Tucker: We'll never know because Eddie D keeps interfering in matches he has now business in. Rally is also a former Hardkore Nippon Grand Champion, GWNW Canadian Heritage Champion, former GWNW Canadian Provincial Champion former FWWF European Champion and has held the World Championship in the EULW, MWA, and the CNWL. On top of that he has held belts in the LWA, WWWJ, EWO, I-Slash, IWE, UvWa, and UIW.

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones will win all those too, because unlike Rally, he's still in his prime.

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson has been here before, wrestling for a World title. He needs a little of the old Tigerheart magic.

Frank Salazar: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship. Featuring first, hailing from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall and weighing 300...

(Rally Jackson grabs Frank Salazar by the jacket and whispers in his ear)

Frank Salazar: "I apologize, weighing in at 299 pounds...

(Rally Jackson starts doing some light calisthenics and stretching)

Frank Salazar: "He is One Half of the SWAT World Tag Team Champions; and The Current SWAT "Ultra Mega Heavyweight" Champion...."THE GOLDEN GOD" RALLY JACKSON!!!

(The Knoxville crowd roars as Rally Jackson shadow boxes and readies himself. The Knoxville Civic Auditorium and Coliseum lights go out as static is heard on the screen. Then an explosion at the entrance goes off and a dark blue spot light shines on the stage as "White Trash Renegade" by Big B starts playing throughout the arena. Trent Jones steps out wearing black cargo pants and a White Tank top that says Mr Bones on it. Trent is wearing black MMA style gloves and he has on a black hat that says Killin It)

Andrew Fulton: Here he is, the SWAT World Heavyweight Champion...

Jeremy Tucker: Thanks to Eddie D...

Andrew Fulton: Fresh off a win over the Anzac Cup winners The Stylistics in Dallas...

Jeremy Tucker: Thanks to Suzie Spitz....

Andrew Fulton: Would you stop with that? If you keep bringing up all the people who interfere in his matches, I'll never finish. Anyway, The Brothers of Anarchy beat the Anzac Cup winners, which essentially makes them the Anzac Cup winners when you think about it. Now, Trent Jones is set to destroy yet another part of The Society of the New Breed and put them out to pasture as the dinosaurs that they are.

(As Trent Jones walks slowly to the ring he stretches his neck and shoulders and talks shit to the fans as he make his way to the ring)

Jeremy Tucker: The champion looking a little sleep deprived, after some of those dreams he's been having.

Andrew Fulton: Pish posh. I barely sleep at all. Sleep is for the weak. If I do sleep, it's when I'm driving.

Jeremy Tucker: That sounds dangerous.

Andrew Fulton: You sound like that cop.

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones says this marks a new beginning, where he is out to destroy the legends of the past and cement himself as the new icon in this business. He has become the leader of something called The Parish which appears to be a dark turn for the Champion and his fragile sanity. He has shown complete disrespect to the fans here and SWAT management, but thus far it doesn't seem as though anyone can do a thing about it.

Andrew Fulton: I think he likes me. But I can't wear one of those flesh masks. I'm allergic to flesh it turns out. Terrible thing.

Franks Salazar: "And his opponent is from Wherever He Damn Pleases; He stands 6 foot 6 inches tall and weighs 354 pounds; He is The Current SWAT World Heavyweight Champion...TRENT JONES!!!"

(The Knoxville fans boo and jeer. Tommy Milligan signals for the bell. Trent Jones and Rally Jackson circle one another nervously)

Andrew Fulton: It's Champion vs. Champion!

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones catches Rally Jackson with a left hook, Rally tries to charge in forward but Jones stands him up with an uppercut.

Andrew Fulton: The brawler outflanking the mat specialist so far.

Jeremy Tucker: The SWAT World Heavyweight Champion irish whips the Ultra Mega Champion into the ropes and drops him with a clothesline.

(The crowd jeers. Trent Jones pulls Rally up to his feet and hooks him into a vertical suplex)

Jeremy Tucker: Jones pulls Jackson's head into his legs, but Rally Jackson backdrops out of it.

Andrew Fulton: Too early for that nonsense.

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson bounces off the ropes and drops a leg across the back of Trent Jones' head.

Andrew Fulton: Jackson scoops Jones up and drops the side of his rib cage onto his knee.

(Jones winces and holds his side. Rally Jackson pulls Jones up and shoots him into the corner. He charges in but Jones is waiting for him with a big boot to the head! The cheers turn to jeers)

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones applies an on the mat sleeper hold. He squeezes Jackson's forehead tight, while clamping that forearm down across Rally's windpipe.

Jeremy Tucker: Tommy Milligan now checking in to see if that's a choke.

Andrew Fulton: Perfectly legal, Tommy.

Jeremy Tucker: "The Golden God" Rally Jackson working his way now to his feet with Trent Jones hanging on to that sleeper. Jackson now back peddles until he squashes Trent in the turnbuckles.

(The audience cheers. Rally Jackson lifts him up into a fireman's carry out of the corner and then dumps him to the mat)

Jeremy Tucker: What strength to be able to lift the 354 pound Champion!

Andrew Fulton: Rally Jackson now applies the bicep crusher. He pulls back on that elbow while using his twisted legs to put pressure on that shoulder blade.

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson and Trent Jones have wrestled in a tag team match at the Anzac Cup in Australia where Jones came out the winner, so they're well acquainted.

(Tommy Milligan checks in but Trent Jones shakes his head, refusing to quit. Jones cries out in pain, and finally uses his free arm to right hook Jackson until he releases the bicep crusher)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones gets to his feet first and tattoos Jackson in the ribcage with a stiff kick.

Andrew Fulton: Jones butterflies Rally's arms and drills his head into the mat with a double arm DDT!

Jeremy Tucker: Instead of covering the man, Jones gets down and starts strangling him.

(The Knoxville Civic Auditorium and Coliseum rocks with boos as Trent Jones throttles Rally Jackson by the throat)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones pulls him up by the throat and throws him into the corner. He sticks his boot against Jackson's throat and chokes him with those long legs!

(Tommy Milligan gives him the five count and threatens to disqualify Jones and then he finally relents. Jones pulls him out of the corner and shoots him into the ropes. Rally ducks a clothesline and comes back with a front dropkick! The crowd comes to life)

Andrew Fulton: Rally Jackson taking a few extra moments to catch his breath there.

Jeremy Tucker: Now he's on his feet and hits Trent Jones with a double stomp to his ribs!

(Jones sits up in pain. Rally Jackson gets Jones to his feet. He scoops him up into a bodyslam but he falls over while doing it)

Andrew Fulton: The Golden God a bit off balance here tonight. Jackson bounces into the ropes and hits him with a splash with all of those three hundred...

Jeremy Tucker: 299 pounds!

Referee: 1...2...(Trent Jones kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson pulls him up but this time Jones kicks him in the groin!

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones pulls his head into his legs and this time is able to get him up into a piledriver!!

Referee: 1...2...(Rally Jackson kicks out)

(The fans boo and Trent Jones flips them all off, making them madder. Fans start chanting "TRENT JONES SUCKS! TRENT JONES SUCKS! TRENT JONES SUCKS! which makes him smile)

Andrew Fulton: Go ahead, lads. You're just poking the bear.

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones applies a bearhug. He applies pressure to the small of Rally's back, constricting his breathing.

(The Knoxville Civic Auditorium and Coliseum starts chanting "RAL-LY!! RAL-LY!!
RAL-LY!!" and Jackson tries to feed off their energy to escape the bearhug)

Andrew Fulton: Rally Jackson attempting to punch his way out of it, but Trent Jones hanging on to that bearhug.

Jeremy Tucker: Jackson wraps his arms around Jones' and then trips him into a slam to the mat!

Andrew Fulton: Rally pulls him back up into a front waistlock and belly to belly suplexes him!

Jeremy Tucker: Not since Trent Jones came to SWAT has someone been able to go toe to toe with this big man!

(The fans cheer wildly as Rally Jackson is sucking wind, trying to get to his feet. He bounces into the ropes and drops across Jones' chest with an earthquake splash)

Referee: 1...2...(Trent Jones gets his shoulder up)

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson grabs Jones leg and drops back into a kneebar. He pulls back on Jones' calf, trying to hyper extend his knee.

(Tommy Milligan checks in but Jones shakes his head, refusing to give up. Milligan notices Jones' shoulders are pinned to the mat)

Referee: 1...(Trent Jones gets his shoulder up)

Andrew Fulton: Jackson continuing to work on Jones' leg, turning it into a spinning toe hold.

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson releasing and then twirling around into another spinning toe hold.

Referee: 1...2...(Trent Jones hits Rally with a left hook to escape the toe hold)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones scrambles to his feet and tackles Rally with a spear!

Referee: 1...2...(Rally Jackson gets his shoulder up)

Jeremy Tucker: Jones applies a triangle choke. He uses those long, powerful legs to create a vice around Jackson's head, cutting off his air.

(The Knoxville fans boo as Rally struggles, looking for escape. Trent Jones pulls back on his trapped arm, cinching it in tighter)

Andrew Fulton: "Mr. Bones" Trent Jones attempting to beat Rally Jackson at his own game here.

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson crawls over and hooks a rope, and Tommy Milligan forces Trent Jones to break the hold.

Andrew Fulton: Jones pulls Jackson to his feet and irish whips him into the ropes. He goes for a big boot, but Rally catches his leg, trips him and applies an anklelock!

Jeremy Tucker: Jackson continuing to wear down Jones' legs for his heel hook. He twists Trent Jones' foot and ankle, torquing it at a painful angle. Jones crawling towards the rope, reaching for escape.

Andrew Fulton: Rally drags him by the leg back into the center of the ring, wraps his legs around Jones' thigh and drops to the mat in another anklelock!

(The Knoxville Civic Auditorium and Coliseum is on their feet, slapping the railings and stomping their feet, urging Trent Jones to tap out. Jones shakes his head, refusing to quit as his face is grimacing in agony)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones finally rolls over and his able to kick Rally off of him. Jackson gets to his feet first and scoops up Jones, but Jones falls behind him with an inverted facelock and drops down into a reverse DDT!

Referee: 1...2...(Rally Jackson kicks out)

(The fans jeer and Trent Jones tries to put weight on his leg, massaging his kneecap and ankle while Jackson recovers on the mat)

Jeremy Tucker: Rally staggers to his feet and rolls into a koppo kick that catches Trent right in the temple!!

Andrew Fulton: "The Golden God" Rally Jackson climbs to the top turnbuckle and flips into a 630 splash!!

Referee: 1...2...thr- (Trent Jones kicks out)

(The crowd groans at the close count and Jackson looks dejected. He questions Tommy Milligan's count, but Tommy painstakingly explains the process and when Trent Jones was able to get his shoulder up)

Andrew Fulton: Rally Jackson seems not to believe that the 630 splash didn't put him away.

Jeremy Tucker: Rally now looking at his hands...what is he doing?

Andrew Fulton: He's buggering off!

(Rally Jackson steps out of the ring looking at his hands, shaking his head. The fans are begging him to return to the ring, but Rally walks up the aisle)

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson absolutely shocked and seems to have given up.

Andrew Fulton: The best case scenario for him, he can't beat Mr. Bones!

(The fans boo as Rally Jackson goes through the curtain. Tommy Milligan starts counting Rally Jackson out)

Jeremy Tucker: Tommy Milligan is up to 5!

b]Andrew Fulton:[/i][/b] Another successful title defense for the SWAT World Heavyweight Champion!

Jeremy Tucker: Jonnie Valentine and Rally Jackson coming back out!

(The Knoxville audience cheers as Jonnie is pumping Rally Jackson up, as they walk back to the ring. Trent Jones locks eyes with Valentine and demands he leave the ring, complaining to Tommy Mulligan)

Andrew Fulton: He's not going to make it, not like he's in running shape!

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson slides back into the ring and just beats the count.

Andrew Fulton: But Trent Jones is ready for him and nearly decapitates him with a jump kick!

(The cheers turn to jeers and Trent Jones flips off Jonnie Valentine. Valentine jumps up on the apron, Tommy Milligan tries to get him down)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones measures Jonnie while he's on the apron, and knocks him to the floor with a superman punch!!

Andrew Fulton: Hahahaha! I love it! Look at him staring at the lights!

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson catches Trent Jones from behind with a rear naked choke!

(The crowd jumps to their feet as Jones drops down to the mat. Rally Jackson cranks back on Trent Jones' head, choking up on his throat. Tommy Milligan checks for the tap out)

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson rolling around on the mat, trying to keep him from the ropes.

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones has his foot wrapped around the rope! Break it, Milligan!

(Tommy Milligan taps Rally Jackson on the shoulder to break the rear naked choke. Jackson curses and releases Jones)

Jeremy Tucker: Jackson puts Jones' foot on the bottom rope, and then senton splashes Jones' knee.

Andrew Fulton: That's three hundred....

Jeremy Tucker: 299 pounds coming down across that knee!

(Jones sits up, clutching his knee, howling in pain. Rally Jackson grabs his leg and applies his heel hook! Jonnie Valentine leaps in the air in celebration)

Andrew Fulton: No!!

Jeremy Tucker: He's got the heel hook! Rally Jackson pulling down on his calf, trying to hyperextend the knee!

Andrew Fulton: He's been softening up that leg for twenty minutes, now The Golden God is swinging for the fences.

Jeremy Tucker: He's got the leg wrapped up with his legs, so there's no escape this time!

Andrew Fulton: I think he's passed out!

Referee: 1...2...(Trent Jones sits up)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones has now rolled over and uses that long frame to reach out and grab the bottom rope!

Andrew Fulton: But what kind of damage was done?

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson lumbers up to the second turnbuckle and jumps off with a bonzai splash but Trent Jones rolls out of the way!

(The Knoxville Civic Auditorium and Coliseum rocks with boos as both men lie there. Rally Jackson is completely spent, Trent Jones holding his ankle. Jonnie Valentine pounds on the apron, trying to wake Rally Jackson. The fans start clapping along in unison)

Andrew Fulton: The first man to his feet may win this one, Jerry!

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones tries putting some weight on that ankle and crumples to the mat once again.

Andrew Fulton: Rally Jackson asking for his water bottle. Jonnie rolls it to him, and Jackson takes a big swig, trying to get a second wind.

Jeremy Tucker: Jones pulls himself up by the ropes on one leg. He hobbles over and punches Jackson in the stomach, backing him into the corner.

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones slugs him a couple more times in the gut, nearly hopping on one leg as he does it.

Jeremy Tucker: Jones drives a knee into the side of Jackson's head, and then grabs him with the Lights Out Mother F'er sleeper!

Andrew Fulton: He's got it!

Jeremy Tucker: Rally Jackson trying to fight it off, but he's completely out of gas. Jackson collapses to the mat with Jones, as Jones wraps his legs around Rally's midsection!

(Jonnie Valentine pounds on the mat, trying to urge on Rally. The fans boo and jeer as Jones thrashes Jackson from side to side, cutting off his air. Suddenly the jeers turn to cheers)

Andrew Fulton: What's this?

Jeremy Tucker: It's 110% Syberus! The number one contender, and Rally Jackson's partner in The Society of the New Breed. He faces the winner here, so why is he coming down to the ring?

Andrew Fulton: And you complain about Eddie and Suzie, Rally's got half the roster here to help him!

Jeremy Tucker: Tommy Milligan checking in to see if Rally Jackson wants to tap out to the Lights Out Mother F'er, but Jackson refusing to give up.

(Syberus joins Jonnie and the Knoxville crowd in rooting on Rally to escape the Lights Out Mother F'er. But Jackson stops moving, and Trent Jones pulls back on his head and neck)

Andrew Fulton: The Golden God is out!

Jeremy Tucker: Tommy Milligan signals for the bell and this match is over! Trent Jones retains the SWAT World Championship here in Knoxville, Tennessee!

(The bell rings and "White Trash Renegade" by Big B plays. The fans boo as Trent Jones releases the Lights Out Mother F'er and rolls to his side, using the bottom turnbuckle to lean against. Tommy Milligan hands him the SWAT World Championship, which he clutches to his chest)

Frank Salazar: "THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...'MR.BONES' TRENT JONES!!!"

(The Knoxville Civic Auditorium and Coliseum boos and jeers. 110% Syberus and Jonnie Valentine enter the ring to help Rally Jackson who is just now beginning to stir)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones was able to withstand a sustained attack to that leg by the SWAT Ultra Mega Champion, "The Golden God" Rally Jackson, and even the heel hook to turn around and turn off Jackson's lights with The Lights Out Mother F'er. Now he goes to the Adrian Tanner Jr./ Reginald P Packer Memorial Show to put the title on the line against that man, 110% Syberus.

Andrew Fulton: Jones has already beaten two members of The Society of the New Breed, 110% Syberus will make a clean sweep.

(110% Syberus continues to check on Jackson, then glares at Trent Jones who is trying to get up in the corner, but his leg is giving him terrible trouble. Eddie D comes down to the ring to help him out of the ring)

Andrew Fulton: What a World Champion we have! Battered and bruised, and still perseveres!

(Trent Jones holds up the SWAT World Championship in the aisle, while Eddie D pats Jones' chest. 110% Syberus stands against the ropes, pointing at Jones and making threats. Jones sneers, and turns, Eddie helping him limp up the rampway as "White Trash Renegade" rings through The Knoxville Civic Auditorium and Coliseum. Fans barely miss them with trash and debris)

Jeremy Tucker: "Mr. Bones" Trent Jones and 110% Syberus have a date at the Adrian Tanner Jr./ Reginald P Packer Memorial Show and I can't wait to see it. See you there SWAT!