Attitude [July 17, 2020]

[Dave D-Flipz]

The night is almost upon us. The last rays of sunlight trickle into the empty room. I remove my head from the window and move to the entrance to the personal gym. It’s pretty nice being back in Boston again, and winning and hanging out with my best friend and my tag team partner and her best friend was exhilarating. I feel like I could have been spending time with a collection of animals, plants, and fungi and I’d still feel better about having an actual outing instead of this lockdown stuff. Lucky Boston opened to Phase 3 two nights ago and with all the testing MCCW has us do, we got to enjoy ourselves. It felt good to spend the whole day today with friends just relaxing and watching the other men in my biggest match ever go at each other’s throats. It seemed only Gordon Carlson noticed how infrequently I was even mentioned and with what little reverence. Though I think he got the wrong message out of the whole ordeal. After all, the squeaky wheel and what not.

But today is over and tonight I need to get back to training. Chaos flew out just an hour or so ago to North Carolina for some CAR related event. Mistress and I are crashing with Gravedigger in his spare rooms and flying out in the morning to the next MCCW town. As I enter GD’s personal training room, I can’t help but get antsy about Master Clash. All these other guys in the main event of Night of Champions and only a single one of them has another match before then. But Yuki and I get to defend our World titles before this one. And while she gets some reject fusion of Irish and Luchador heritage on Sunday … I get to go toe to toe with my biggest rival Eichi motherfucking Yamaguchi.

Some work on the heavy bag will vent the frustration but I need to warm up first so … let’s go for the exercise bike so I can talk to the camera while I ride. The seat of the bike is cold, unused for a few days. The display lights up as I start to pedal and I turn up the resistance to a mild incline and go for a moderate pace. Don’t need to be overdoing it and blowing out a quad or something. I may be the best wrestler in this match … either match … but I need to be at 100% to survive. I set up the phone camera on the table to my left side.

: "There is something to be said for what type of attitude you bring to a contest. Until recently I didn’t really think about it but some of the weird stuff you see in these promo cycles for the global events really makes you either open your mind or shut that stuff right down. But it also speaks volumes the type of messaging you send and receive before these events. I always try to keep a respectful tone when the respect is earned and shoot straight with everyone. I told Anthony Caffrey exactly what his problem was and he doubled down and looked a fool. Then Timeless ruined the climax of our fight. Eichi Yamaguchi may be a thorn in my side and just a malicious and maladjusted individual but he keeps a stoic, quiet respect before matches … well at least since he lost his mouthpiece."

I almost feel a bit of regret. Eichi and I are rivals and I don’t much like the man but we have found common ground on occasion and his situation is far worse than the necessary consequences of his actions and attitude. I choose my next words carefully.

: "And then there’s his countrymate, Yuki Sakaraba. Apparently she didn’t take kindly to me calling her on her CGI and plastic surgery. As if I’m a horrible person for thinking aliens aren’t real and people don’t just magically change who they are on camera. But … ya know that one is on me. After all … Price died twice … but it’s ok he got better. And there’s no telling what in this world Subject #42 is. And according to official radio logs and XHF Network archives, Destiny Wrestling, where Yuki is from, ACTUALLY broadcast a show from the moon. So Yuki let me apologize. You may be overhyped and overmatched but I suppose I should show you some respect with where you may or may not be from."

I mean it’s not the most unbelievable situation in this whole promo cycle. Dylan Black holding a title for a year. THAT’S the shock here. Only in 2020 could that be a reality ... My legs are starting to get nice and loose, I feel that familiar flow of energy I get when I focus myself on my training and just absorbing myself in my industry. People may not understand what a student of the game I am. They never look back and see how far I’ve come and what gains I’ve made personally, stylistically, and professionally. They just see 40 on an official biography and say, ‘If Rob Arnold is old at 36, and Rat is ancient at 38, and Bobby is over the hill at 39 … what is Death Trap at 40?’ To be fair they pulled the same crap with Zoran but then he actually is ancient. I feel the urge to pick up the pace on my pedaling as thinking his name has irked me something fierce.

: "Here’s the thing you guys. Recently I’ve had a revelation. That I approach my matches differently when I’m in the advantageous position. I seem to always fail when I am HOLDING the belt. But Mistress Discipline straightened me out and got my brain on the right path. It’s all about the attitude you take coming into the match. And the attitude you exude to the others in the match as well. See me? For once in my life … holding these belts … going into two huge title defenses … I am calm and focused. I am not letting my own mind free flow and harp on the negatives. Eichi has shut me down before, what if it happens again? Adapt and overcome. Like I did the LAST time we fought. Mongo has buried me … literally … before! What if he tries to orchestrate it again? Adapt and overcome. This is a completely different scenario and freaking out over the past and not learning from it is a sure path to failure."

But I am on the path to enlightenment. I finally understand how to fine tune my approach to these matches. I have to live in my own wheelhouse and step my game up as needed. No looking at the negatives, no focusing on what ifs. I hear the door outside opening. GD has gotten home from the store and must be heading inside for a late dinner. Mistress should be back from her Boston adventures soon as well, better make haste in my workout. I wind down the bike program and am briefly distracted by the sound of chattering outside.

I approach the window to see GD shouting at a particularly ballsy raccoon in his garbage bin. Dude you won’t win this argument, the little bandit already has your trash. But then another man’s trash is someone’s treasure.

: "Yuki is entering this matchup with a chip on her shoulder. She still feels the need to prove she is good enough. I empathize with that but Yuki hon … if you can be a world champ in multiple feds and defeat the man who legit KILLED TWO PEOPLE ON TV somehow … and is still free … somehow … and you still find reason to doubt yourself? That’s not a good look for someone who acts like a superhero. And I’m not faulting you for the PTSD reaction to being stabbed or finding out none of your outfits fit anymore because you reincarnated at a different height and also your butt is just so damn thicc now!"

Is that what the cool people are saying these days? I feel like I heard Markiplier say it and he’s popular right? I should look into this later, I can’t have myself looking stupid on camera … oh … I published that little nervous breakdown from yesterday didn’t I? Well positive attitude DT, can’t change the past, just learn from it. I can apparently stop myself from beating myself up in my mind, and stop myself from losing focus on the task at hand but looking stupid is apparently my curse to bear. I mindlessly play with my hat on my head as I refocus on the message I was trying to convey.

: "You come into this match with multiple former and current X*Crown Champions, and men who are hungry to prove they also have that skill, very much on par with us through your achievements. You are a CURRENT world champion. And yet you are defensive, reactionary, lashing out at everyone who mentions you. I get it, I was there. It’s basically how most of my title reigns go. I come in the champion but you’d think I was the underdog in every match trying to move on up the ladder when I’m already at the top. I’ll tell you what happens when you don’t understand your position on that ladder. You fall from the top and crash to the bottom. Sometimes underneath eight other people …"

Whoa whoa man … you promised not to dwell on the past. It’s hard but you are up to the challenge. Use that experience to advise your present. Focus, persevere, overcome.

: "Fear Yuki, fear makes people do irrational things, fear drives some of the worst decisions in history. Fear makes people jumpy, reactionary, and paranoid. Fear makes you see enemies where there are none. And by God do you just exude fear right now. And it isn’t because you were stabbed and Time Lorded yourself."

Really interested to see how she did that. That shit could make a fortune on the right markets …

: "No the fear is deep seeded and rooted in your psyche, it’s always been there. This incident has just made you lose control, and it’s poisoning your outlook going into this match. That isn’t to say you should think I’m your best friend. Far from it, given the first opportunity I will bend you in half and make you scream for mercy. And then move on to the next target. But I am not out to hurt you or insult you. It’s business Yuki. You are in the ring with me and DT takes no prisoners in the ring. My fans demand more of me than being buddy buddy with my opponents. But you snapping at me for a totally reasonable response is a symptom of that deeper seated doubt you hold within you. Good as you are, a focused DT can find that doubt and make it a reality. Like that."

I try to snap my fingers but no sound occurs. I’m too sweaty. I try a few more times. Ok this isn’t working.

: "You get my point. And if you think a veteran manipulator like Rat Bastard or Rob Arnold won’t do the same with an added dose of malice, well I have a resurrection serum to sell y…"

Wrong metaphor …

: "Ryan Young, good to meet you sir, I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure. It’s so dreadfully hard to get a hold of you with Seth occupying your every thought day and night. Nice to see you finally free. I mean that. Too bad you come into this with the same dreadful attitude as your former partner has. It’s really something … you come into AWF like a storm and put the world on notice. You immediately make a friend and it softens that gruff fake exterior. You open up and show the real man within. And when your friend becomes an unrepentant asshole you try to make a difference. You put out your old lady because she was in your ear like the serpent to Eve, tempting you to be a selfish asshole. And you rightfully told her off so you can be the REAL you. And you then become EXACTLY the asshole she supposedly was pushing you to be. So I’m struggling here, where was the evolution? Where was the freedom? What was the point of kicking her to the curb if that was the main reason for doing it???"

At least she didn’t hit him with a pan or cheat on him with a 400 pound nacho eating all-American … I feel like I’m losing the plot here. Seriously he dumps her to do EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTED? I just … he could have done the same thing and still gotten tail on the regular. Even I am not THAT dense. Maybe he just thought her knees were ugly, I hear he’s got a fetish for that sort of thing … I absent-mindedly rub my own knees.

: "So Mr. Young newly emancipated man, man who won’t let a woman turn him into an asshole when he can DO IT HIMSELF DAMNIT! You go into this match riding high on beating Jack Diamond and by proxy also Jack Diamond …"

Why do I hear that in my own mind being somehow … right justified … what a weird vocal tick?

: "I admit I was unable to make the weasel tap out at Call to Arms, but I’d say it all worked out for me."

I point to the X*Crown title on the table and shrug.

: "Congrats, you beat a man in the throes of a mental affliction and caved his head in, great response there. And now you are the favorite to steal my title yes? Where in the hell do you find the gall to come into this match with that kind of attitude? While I have been over here promoting my ass off for XHF and MCCW, winning this X*Crown off of Caffrey and becoming a two time MCCW World Champ, winning many matches, you’ve done precisely dick all. Oh yes I forgot. Tag title run. You sure did a great job of holding onto Seth and Fox’s coattails man. Wouldn’t wanna miss your shot. Hey so at the rumble I couldn’t help but notice you acting like the best of the team and the victim as you personally handed the tag titles to Dos Angeles and got yourself and Seth dumped from the rumble. You earned it champ!"

I’d slow clap but it’d be cliché and feel undeserved. After all the delusional idiot might actually think I’m congratulating him.

: "The fact is people crap on me for always getting so close and not winning but calling myself the ‘Main Attraction’ but when you look at my career I damn sure back it up. You waltz into the main event scene and just kinda cling to the sharks like a shockingly resilient remora. Sucking off the scraps and pretending to be relevant. Calling yourself a messiah … to who exactly? What downtrodden soul is gonna follow the guy who couldn’t quite win the Fired Up tourney, and almost won the Prestige Title, and got to dance with the tag titles while others did all the work? Hyperion murdered his damn cult and he’s still a more attractive leader than you."

I go over to the rowing machine and begin working on it. Need to keep my back and neck loose after that beating from Chant. No residual effects. It’s all about the attitude and outlook. I am finally positive. I see the victory before me and all I have to do is maintain course.

: "Ryan your thinking too big. Your attitude is just too sour about life to really feel the flow of the match and work with the crowd to drive the pace and scope of the match. You’re a sourpuss and you’re bringing everyone else down. Soon as Fox got away from you he wins the US title, sure looks like we know who the weak link in LGBTKO was. But hey, maybe this will be a learning experience for you. Your sexual orientation doesn’t matter, it’s 2020 I get it, straight is overrated … but your personality and attitude are as crooked as a Champoon Ref in a Jefe match during season 1 …"

I feel a disturbance in the force … let’s change the subject. This workout equipment is top notch. Gonna have to figure out where GD got it from. Speaking of working out, that Carlson guy popped back on recently too. I had a modicum of respect for his achievement before he opened his mouth and showed his own ugly attitude.

: "I thought you were someone I could relate to Gordy. You showed some amazing technical skill, endurance, and humility when you put Hype down. Impressive. And then you soured it. The minute your name was on the others’ lips you turned into just another glory hound, another narcissist. Suddenly it’s all about you and how big and scary you are because you choked out a big strong guy. News flash, I do that on the reg!"

You keep using these phrases, I don’t think they mean what you think they do. You’re 40, you can be mature instead of trying to be hip. How is it I haven’t figured out how to adult yet? Seriously. It’s ok, where it matters I am grounded. I am not foolish enough to think I can just walk over some of the best names in wrestling because I won one match.

: "Carlson listen, you were an unknown commodity. And you proved your worth. But it’s one match. You didn’t buy yourself the right to inflate your head to the size of Mongo’s fat ass. If you are going to walk into this match with the attitude that people should … and DO … fear you .. after one wrestling match … you got another thing coming."

It’s not like Hype is all that special either. Yes he is a big hoss and strong as an ox but he lost once and almost lost the Prestige title to that Drago Santiago. Apparently break a few fingers and he becomes mortal. Or Bobby Barratt knocked the titan out of him with one Iconbreaker. And he got mentioned a few times, no more than anyone else … except for me ironically. The champ who everyone has already written off. But that’s fine. It’s all about attitude. I will go into this match expecting everyone’s best and ready to deal with it. I will be focused. I release the machine and wipe it down with a towel. … It’s a towel I’m not gonna just describe it in detail, it absorbs sweat, nothing else. I can hear the footsteps coming up the path behind the personal gym. Discipline is back for dinner.

: "Gordon, you are someone I am intrigued to fight. But you are not someone I fear. I don’t fear any one man. But you go into this with the attitude of being the new favorite because you beat one man. A big win for sure, but one win. If you overlook a focused and dangerous DUAL champion … then that is your own downfall. Hyperion is a one trick pony. He’s all power all the time. Any good wrestler can figure out a way to beat him. Yes it will take strategy and some luck but it’s a 50/50 at worst for a good technician. SO yes, celebrate. But don’t let it poison your outlook. I actually want you to be a challenge at NOC. I want you to give it your all and then make you tap out at your best. It all comes down to attitude my friend. Yours needs work."

Mistress peaks her head in. I give her a nod and wipe down the gym so GD won’t get mad. As I reach for my shirt I swear I can feel eyes on my ass … I turn around and nobody is there. How odd … I pull my shirt over my head and I swear I can see through the fabric a silhouette with a messy bun staring at my core. Ok let’s get this shirt out of the way … nothing. I must be hungry, I’m hallucinating. Who would even be ogling me at GD’s place anyway? Wait … maybe GD is finally jealous of me! … Nah that doesn’t make sense …