2020 Packer Tanner Memorial Tribute Show

[SWAT Team]

[The lights go out as the first lyrics to Zombie start. Pyro explodes and War Pig walks out carrying an American flag. He takes a moment to take it all in before slowly walking to the ring. He climbs in, sits in a corner and waits]

Frank Salazar : The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall. Introducing first, currently in the ring, hailing from New Orleans, Louisiana. Coming in at 6’3 and 220 pounds …. THE WARPIG!!! ANDREW STONE!!!!

[”Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins playing as Armand von Krauss walks out from the back. He looks around at the crowd with an arrogant smirk before lighting up an Egyptian cigarette. He walks down to the ring while smoking his cigarette, soaking in the boos from the crowd. Once he gets down to the ring, he flicks the cigarette butt into the crowd. He steps through the ropes and leans in his corner.]

Frank Salazar : And introducing now … hailing from Cologne, Germany. Coming in at 6’2 and 245 pounds …. Representing the KGB! ARMAND VON KRAUSS!!!

Jeremy Tucker : This here promises to be one heck of a match up. We have two relative newcomers to SWAT meeting up here, Armand making a big impact since his debut in first befriending the founder Soutter, then betraying him to join up with the KGB!

Andrew Fulton : What a great move that was, I like the cut of this man’s cloth.

Jeremy Tucker : And … making his SWAT debut, the Warpig! Andrew Stone. Stone is a former Marine, and from what I have seen, he is struggling with shifting back into civilian life Fulton, and just wants to get in the ring where he can feel at home with the heat of battle.

Andrew Fulton : Cry me a river, this guy needs help, and I’m talking a team of psychiatrists.

Jeremy Tucker : I like him, look at that flag, he is a Patriot Fulton!

Andrew Fulton : Yeah, (mocking) Let’s all start up a good old USA Chant shall we?

[Crowd does just that, and Fulton groans. Referee Mick Donovan calls for the bell and both men hook up, Stone with a side headlock takeover, he holds onto the side headlock and grinds it in.]

Jeremy Tucker : The Warpig holding onto that side headlock on one knee, but Armand grabs him by the waist and rolls backwards into a pinning position.

One …. Stone rolls out of the pin, still holding onto the side headlock.

Andrew Fulton : Armand rolls him into another pin …. One …. Stone rolls out of the pin.

Jeremy Tucker : Amrand forces his way to his feet and goes to run Stone into the ropes, but Stone holds onto the side headlock putting on the brakes.

Andrew Fulton : Boring. Whats next? The chin lock?

Jeremy Tucker : He is showing Armand he is the superior wrestler and now telling him to tap.

Andrew Fulton : Well, Armand is not tapping, not to no side headlock least of all.

Jeremy Tucker : Armand with a quick shot to the balls of Stone, come on Ref! Donovan didn’t see it, and Armand lifts Stone up and drills him with a nice belly to back suplex!

Andrew Fulton : Armand follows it up with a nice gut wrench suplex. Go Armand! Give it to him!

Jeremy Tucker : Armand stomps onto Stone, and again, he goes for a third stomp but Stone catches him by the ankle and takes him down. Triangle choke! Stone has Armand in a triangle choke! He is choking him out!

Andrew Fulton : That’s got to be illegal Jerry! Come on ref!

Jeremy Tucker : Donovan checking on the hold and says its legal, and asks Armand if he wants to tap, Armand refuses snapping in some foreign language.

Andrew Fulton : That’s a definite No Jerry. I heard that several times from some of the Ladies we met on our last European tour.

Jeremy Tucker : I am sure you have heard it all around the world. Von Krauss gets his foot onto the rope and Donovan calls for the rope break.

Andrew Fulton : Throat punch from Armand! Stone is gasping for air.

Jeremy Tucker : Armand follows it up with a big Lung blower! He then wraps him hand around the throat of Stone, who is still gasping for air, and he lifts him up with a huge Choke Slam!!!

Andrew Fulton : Nailed it! Von Krauss is giving the Marine a wrestling lesson!

Jeremy Tucker : Cover by Armand …

One …………………….

Two ……………………

Kick out by Stone.

Andrew Fulton : Armand stays right on the Warpig, speaking of warpigs, reminds me of this story where one time I met this girl and ….

Jeremy Tucker : Let me stop you right there, no one wants to hear it.

Andrew Fulton : Some people do.

Jeremy Tucker : No, really. They don’t. Armand goes for a strike, but Stone blocks it. Another shot by Armand and another block by the Warpig. Stone grabs the wrist of Armand …. CROSSFACE!!!

Andrew Fulton : Wow! Code RED! CODE RED!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Van Krauss is struggling, flailing, and just manages to get to the ropes for another break. The crowd were up on their feet for that cross face, they are really behind Andrew Stone here in his debut.

Andrew Fulton : The ‘crowd’ don’t know squat. The Bandits are where it’s at, and Stone will find that out by end of this match.

Jeremy Tucker : The Bandits all have their hands full. Frostbite is no doubt on his way to the emergency ward after that last battle with Goth ….

Andrew Fulton : Which he WON Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Yes, that he did. Fierce is about to face Soutter in a huge match and Timeless, his career is on the line against Caffrey later tonight, no way any of them have time to come here and help Armand, and what was that earlier with Bruno? Did Armand just have him murdered?

[DDT by Armand drills the head of Stone into the canvas.]

Andrew Fulton : He doesn’t need their help Jerry. Did you see that DDT! This could be over right now! Could be TWO murders in one night for Von Krauss after he finishes with Stone. Bruno had it coming and so too does this Warpig!

Jeremy Tucker : Cover by Armand …. Hooks the leg ….

One ………………………

Two …………………………

Th … kick out by Stone.

Andrew Fulton : Full nelson suplex by Armand!

Jeremy Tucker : Stone flips over and lands on his feet. CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!!! Cover by the Warpig!

One ………………….

Two ………………….

Kick out by Armand.

Andrew Fulton : Yes! Superman heart punch by Armand to Stone ….

Jeremy Tucker : He throws Andrew Stone into the corner and starts punching him bloody. The Blitzkrieg!

Andrew Fulton : He is wailing away, Stone is a bloody mess!

Jeremy Tucker : No! Stone is fighting back! Check it out! He is a bloody mess, but wont stop, and just starts swinging back. HEADBUTT!

Andrew Fulton : He is an animal!

Jeremy Tucker : Andrew Stone now with a series of Muy Thai knees to Armand.

Andrew Fulton : Armand now fighting back … face smasher!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Stone fights back again! He is in full war mode here folks …. CRADLE PILEDRIVER!!!

Andrew Fulton : Armand looks in trouble! Come on!!!

Jeremy Tucker : He is woozy, that piledriver rocked him … Armand slow back to his feet, Andrew Stone measures him …. FLASH GRENADE!!! (powerful right hook to the jaw)

Andrew Fulton : Wow!

Jeremy Tucker : Cover by the Warpig!

One ……………………….

Two …………………………

THREE!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : I don’t believe it!

Jeremy Tucker : What a debut! Huge win to Andrew Stone!

Frank Salazar : WINNER OF THE MATCH …. WARPIG ANDREW STONE!!!!

[Referee Mike Donovan raises the hand of Stone in victory, Armand looking around confused and a comedic wtf happened look on his face.]

[Soutter]

[We switch to the interview section, where we find standing by SWAT Interviewer Warren W Webber in his Tux alongside ‘The Founder’ Mad Dog Paul Soutter. Suit is wearing an Adrian Tanner t shirt and has a black arm band around his bicep.]

Warren W Webber : Soutter! Thanks for joining me here for this interview tonight. How are you feeling before your big match with James Fierce?

Soutter : Pleasure Warren. I will tell you my friend, I am feeling GREAT! Ontop of the world! Although, I would hesitate to call it a “big” match.

Warren W Webber : Last week on Battleground, it was You, Linda and Armand against the KGB! Armand swerved you guys and joined the KGB!

Soutter : Don’t I know it. I have been listening to them all gloating, sprouting off how they outswerved the ‘king of the swerve’. Looks like they learnt a few things from me along the way.

Warren W Webber : Where did it all go wrong? Why is this happening?

Soutter : Jealousy Warren. Greed also. Everyone wants to be THE MAN. I cast a very large shadow as you may be aware, and these turkeys figure if I am gone, then they are next in line to be the Top Dog around here. They are most likely right in that too. They are some of the best wrestlers in the world, thus why I brought them into the KGB to begin with.

Warren W Webber : There is no honour among thieves as they say.

Soutter : That’s the thing Webber. We weren’t thieves. We were Bandits! Outlaws! Sure we broke some rules, but this place, SWAT. It was OUR home! Our bread and butter. You don’t shit where you live as they say. True Outlaws, they don’t allow the dreads into THEIR homes. They run them out of there, they are the real law in their towns. Just as the Bandits were here in SWAT.

What Zoran was doing since Joe left him in control was wrong. He was bringing a bad name to our Federation. How can people come and work here when he is with holding prize money from just winners. When he is entering himself in XHF matches and taking the spotlight of real wrestlers?

There is a line that you don’t cross in this business, and he crossed it not paying up to Linda. It was our duty as the law around here to set that straight.

Warren W Webber : They say you were love struck by her and it clouded your thinking and made you weak. They said it started with Joe leaving when you left him to Radu and let your ego get in the way.

Soutter : Joe was my best friend. I brought him in. I brought them ALL in. I brought Fierce back. I brought the Snow Flake in, after making him famous carrying him around the world for over a year.

Joe got HIS ego in the way. This is a physical world. You go and run your mouth like he does and there comes a day you have to stand up for yourself. Take responsibility for your actions, and meet the consequences front on. That’s coming tonight, right here in Atlanta, for James Fierce.

Warren W Webber : He really has it in for you. He even called you Janetty!

Soutter : That’s funny. If I hadn’t brought him back, there is maybe three people in the whole XHF who would know his name. ME! The entire industry knows who I am!

I am the Suit!

The Big Bad Bustling Bandit!

I am THE Centre of Attention!

The Mad Dog of Melbourne!

Master of the Powerslam!

THE FOUNDER!!!

I got the skill to thrill!

The name to Entertain!

I ‘m Loud and Proud and well Endowed!

I am about to show the KGB they made one fatal error when they decided to make a move on me. They did a number on me, good and proper, but they didn’t finish the job! Tonight, I will finish the job on one James Fierce! Then, Timeless will be gone courtesy of Caffrey, and the KGB will be left in ruins. After that, Armand will be mine, I will take them shares he wants me to go buy, and his threats and games on the life of Bruno and I will ram them down his god damn throat and rip his black heart out!

Then I will crush it!

[Suit squeezes his fist. You can picture the hearts crushing in his huge ham hock of a fist.]

Soutter : And I like it like that!

[Suit goes to leave then stops and stares into the camera.]

Soutter : Tonight! We honour two of the greatest warriors to ever enter this ring. Reginald P Packer and Adrian Tanner. These two men were the heart and soul of SWAT! Of what we do. Tonight, in front of the world we pay tribute to two legends. Two Hall of Famers! Two ….. friends.

[Suit thumps his chest and then his armband.]

Warren W Webber : Thank you Suit! And good luck tonight! Back to you Jerry and Andy.

[SWAT Team]

The opening of the Game’s “One Blood” hits the pa system and El Combatiente follows his manager Javier onto the stage. They look around soaking up there surrounding until El Combatiente breaks into a full sprint for the ring and slides in. Javier slowly walks to ringside and takes his position at ringside as El Combatiente stretches in the ring preparing for his match to begin.

Frank Salazar : The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the SWAT TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing now, hailing from South Los Angeles, CA. Coming in at 5’9 and 219 pounds ....he is the SWAT TELEVISION CHAMPION... EL COMBATIENTE!!!

Tux stands at each side of the top of the ramp for a moment to soak up and encourage the crowd’s cheers. Then, in an ode to his gymnastic ability, he does a cartwheel handspring into a flip down the ramp to start his entrance. He slides into the ring under the bottom rope and climbs the turnbuckle for one last bit of adoration before preparing for the match..

Frank Salazar : Introducing now the challenger, hailing from Tokushima, Japan. Coming in at 5’8 and 185 pounds ....representing the Society of the New Breed .... he is one half of the SWAT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... TUXEDO MASK!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Both men circle, collar and elbow tie dead centre, but Tuxedo Mask ducks under and applies the hammerlock.

Andrew Fulton: El Combatiente flips him with a snapmare and the TV champ immediately springboards with a leg lariat!

Jeremy Tucker: El Combatiente with the Irish whip, back comes Tux with a handspring shoulder block!

[El Combatiente is rocked back against the ropes, he surges out with a clothesline that Tuxedo Mask ducks. El Combatiente leaps up to catch him with a hurricanrana!]

Jeremy Tucker: No time to draw breath in this one!

Andrew Fulton: Both of these guys are live wires, don't expect time to pause for a moment.

[El Combatiente lifts a knee into Tux's midsection and sends him overhead in a flash with a snap suplex. Javier shouts encouragement and slaps the apron from the outside.]

Jeremy Tucker: El Combatiente has impressed so much since his arrival in SWAT, taking the TV title to cap off an impressive run.

Andrew Fulton: Tux has been around the block though and is a stern test for the champion tonight.

Jeremy Tucker: Tuxedo Mask blocks the DDT attempt from El Combatiente. He elbows his way out and rocks the TV champ with a right hand.

Andrew Fulton: Tux runs the ropes with a handspring hurricanrana!

[Tux flips El Combatiente so violently that he rolls out of the ring to the mat below. Javier rushes to check on him.]

Jeremy Tucker: What a feather this would be in the cap of Tuxedo Mask to take the TV gold, then both he and Rally Jackson would be double champs.

Andrew Fulton: Tux looks like he's going up top!

Jeremy Tucker: Tuxedo Mask flies off to the outside with a body splash taking down both El Combatiente and his manager Javier on the outside!

Andrew Fulton: Both men down!

Jeremy Tucker: Well we finally have a moment in this breathless start to this Television Championship defence.

Referee Carl Marks: 1...

Jeremy Tucker: Both of these guys have the ability to pull something out of nothing.

Andrew Fulton: It's been a red hot encounter so far but both men now crawling back to their feet on the outside.

Referee Carl Marks: 2...

Jeremy Tucker: Tux pulling himself back up with the aid of the ring apron. El Combatiente clearly favouring his back now as he drags himself back to his feet by that steel barricade.

Referee Carl Marks: 3...

Andrew Fulton: Tuxedo Mask going for the suplex on the outside, but a block by El Combatiente. The champion elbows Tux in the ribs, and with an irish whip rams his chest clean into the ring post!

Referee Carl Marks: 4...

[Tux collapses to the mat with a thud. El Combatiente pulls him back up and rolls him into the ring.]

Jeremy Tucker: Tuxedo mask staggers to his feet but El Combatiente drops him with a DDT!

Referee Carl Marks: 1... 2... (Tux kicks out.)

Andrew Fulton: The champion with the first pinfall attempt. He needs to keep the offence rolling now if he wants to retain that title, now that he's in command of the situation.

Jeremy Tucker: El Combatiente signals for the end, looks like he's going for the Street Justice but Tux slips free, Tuxedo mask with a palm thrust and hits an Acid Drop Bulldog!!

Referee Carl Marks: 1... 2... (El Combatiente kicks out.)

Andrew Fulton: Wow.

Jeremy Tucker: We almost had a new champion right there!

[Tux takes El Combatiente by the arm and walks the ropes, before coming off with a La Majistral Cradle!]

Referee Carl Marks: 1... 2.. (El Combatiente kicks out.)

Jeremy Tucker: Tux almost takes it again! The champion is against the ropes here!

Andrew Fulton: El Combatiente pulls himself up in the corner. Tuxedo Mask comes in with a handspring splash, but El Combatiente scouts it and there's nobody home.

Jeremy Tucker: El Combatiente hooks the arms into the vertibreaker- STREET JUSTICE!!

Referee Carl Marks: 1... 2... 3!!!

Jeremy Tucker: The champion retains!

Andrew Fulton: Wow, Tux was a split second from taking the TV title here tonight. But El Combatiente hit that devastating move, Street Justice, and game over.

Frank Salazar: Here is your winner and STILL SWAT TELEVISION CHAMPION... EL COMBATIENTE!!!

[Javier celebrates with El Combatiente as they make their way back up the ramp with the belt in hand.]

[frostbite]

Jeremy Tucker.. I understand we have a camera member in the ambulance of Frostbite as he and Psychotic Goth had quite the match to open up this show to honor two legends in our business.

Andrew Fulton.. There is still blood on the floor from those two. Damn there is even blood on our announce table from that match.

Jeremy Tucker.. The blood those two spilled there has certainly no choice but to get checked out. I am sure those two will require some type of transfusion.

Andrew Fulton.. I would think that Goth would have his own blood bank in his home somewhere. That is one guy that has always given me the creeps.

Jeremy Tucker.. Let's go to the live feed.

The ambulance is zooming down the street on their way to the local hospital, as we are in the back. We see a young short brown haired gentleman wearing a light blue shirt with black pants. He is adjusting a bag that is attached to Frostbite left arm, as it appears that they are trying to get some fluids in him. Frostbite is out cold from what we can tell as his body is lying so still on the stretcher. The young man continue to adjust the bag. He looks at Frostbite forehead as we see a large bandage right smack in the middle of his forehead. The bandage is covered in blood as we get a closer look we see a small drop of it is running down Frostbite cheek.

The young man slowly takes the white tape away from the bandage as he slowly peels it back as he sees the cash on his forehead is still bleeding. He takes the bandage away as he tosses into a can not far from him, as he turns around and reaches for some white tape and some bandages. He slowly turns back around, as he does Frostbite is awake. He looks around.

Frostbite.. Where in the hell am I?

Ambulance attendant.. Sir you are on your way to the hospital. You lost a lot of blood, and you passed out, so we are getting checked out.

Frostbite.. I am completely fine. You need to turn this thing back around right now.

Attendant.. Sir, we can not do that.

Frostbite.. Well you better because I have some unfinish business back at the arena.

Attendant.. Sir, we can not do that.

Frostbite looks back as he sees the fluids being pumped into him. He takes the tape attached to his left arm where the fluids are being pumped in at, and rips it off.

Attendent.. Sir you must lay back down.

Frostbite.. You are going to turn this thing back around because I promise somebody that I am not done yet and I will be damn if I break my promise on such a great night. I want this night to be something special.

Frostbite sits up, as the attendant touches him as he tries to get him to lay back down. Frostbite reaches the young man by his throat as he tosses him back toward the shelves which holds some of the medical supplies as they go flying everywhere. Frostbite is up as the attendant gets up slowly but he is caught by a hard knee strike right to his jaw.

Frostbite.. Listen you better tell the driver to turn this bitch around.

Frostbite becomes more intense as he grabs the attendant by his collar and tosses him shoulder first right into the stretcher. As he is about to grab him once again the ambulance comes to a complete stop as he and the attendant are throw a few feet. Frostbite pulls himself to the feet, as he looks toward the back door. He grabs the other attendant and kicks him right in his groin.

Suddenly the back door is flung open and there stands a older bald headed gentleman wearing the same gear that the other attendant is wearing. He looks in a state of shock as Frostbite tosses the attendant right at him as he goes flying out of the ambulance. Both men are on the ground. Frostbite jumps out of the back as he walks over to the driver and pucks him up and bodyslam on the other attendant. Frostbite just stands over them.

Frostbite.. Simply ass. I told you I have something to take care of.

Frostbite slams the back door shut, as he races around to the driver side as he hops right in and slams the door shut and with the sirens blaring as he speeds away. The two ambulance workers are just laying in the street.

Back to the arena.

Jeremy Tucker.. Did we just see Frostbite beat up two ambulance attendants.

Andrew Fulton.. You did. I think Frostbite has lost so much blood that he is losing his mind.

Jeremy Tucker.. I guess he is on his way back to the arena.

Andrew Fulton., He says that he has some unfinish business.

Jeremy Tucker.. I have since some crazy stuff in my years here broadcasting SWAT shows, but that has to rank up there as one of the craziest things ever.

Andrew Fulton.. Frostbite has assaulted two people and stolen an ambulance. I hope he has one hell of a lawyer on his side because I do not think Perry Mason could to get those charges dropped.

Jeremy Tucker.. Whatever he is coming back here for it must be that important to risk such an horrible act.

Andrew Fulton.. We will keep you inform on this.

[anthonycaffrey]

The Ring Where It Happens

“Good, you’re finally awake. You almost slept an entire day.”

“Marcus, where are--”

“The Atlantic.”

The camera pans back for this pre-recorded segment, revealing the private jet Caffrey and his agent Marcus are on. Marcus has been sitting around with a bucket of champagne on ice, waiting to celebrate. He pops the top, taking special care to not the beverage spill out onto the floor. Outside the plane, it is clearly the dead of night.

“The Atlantic? Night of Champions is in Mexico… oh… oh right, Swann... can you get me some fuckin' Advil? Goddamn, my head and back are killing me...”

“Should have figured you’d be hurting after that match. Hang on.”

Marcus gets up and disappears into the jet’s bathroom. He emerges a few moments later with a full First Aid kit. He tosses the kit and a bottle of water at the former X-Crown champion.

“My neck feels fine, though… weird… gotta get Rat for that… man...”

“I’m glad he didn’t break your neck. And I’m glad you still have a head on your shoulders.”

Caffrey doesn’t seem to pay much attention to the ‘head on your shoulders line’, instead taking the time to look out the window as he flies to Atlanta.

“Me too.”

“Here, let me turn on a light.”

Marcus reaches over to a remote control. He hits a button, and Caffrey immediately covers his face.

“JESUS MARCUS! WARN A GUY NEXT TIME, WOULD YOU?”

“Dude---”

“TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!”

Marcus switches the light back off. Caffrey mutters as he pulls the cover below his head when the lights are turned off.

“Goddamn."

Caffrey retakes his position.

"So listen, when we arrive in London, I booked you… I booked you your own place, but you are under no means supposed to come to… hang on…"

Caffrey lowers the cover to grab the water bottle. He quickly scoops up the legal amount of painkillers and sets the bottle down next to him. He has a displeased look on his face as he holds his head.

“Did you put tap water in this?”

“Caff, no.”

Caffrey leans down, shaking his head.

“What was I saying?”

“Something about London? If you left something behind, don’t worry, we can get it shipped.”

Caffrey’s face tightens up.

“Behind? We’re going to London.”

Marcus stops in his tracks. He blinks a few times, trying to process what he just heard.

“Why you givin’ me that look? I’ve got a match with Swann, man.”

“You had a match with Swann.”

“Huh?”

“You had a match with Swann.”

“What, it’d get cancelled? Don’t tell me it got cancelled, man. I gotta do this for Mike, man. Fuck! I betcha Zoran cancelled it. He always finds a way to fuck with me.”

“Zoran didn’t cancel it.”

“Then what are you talking about?’

“Umm…”

Marcus puts a hand up to respond. He thinks for a few moments about what his answer is going to be, and then decides to tell the truth.

“That uh... already happened, Caff. We’re going to Atlanta. You have a match, dude. Packer/Tanner Memorial, remember?”

Caffrey rubs his head, clearly still feeling the effects of whatever he’s going through.

“That’s… oh, fuck, that bastard Timeless!”

“Right!”

“But you’re telling me I flew halfway across the world for nothin’?"

“You had that match! You won!”

Caffrey scratches his head.

“So Swann just… gave up? Doesn’t seem like him. He must have seen what I did to Timeless’ car, and have been afraid that I was about to beat the shit out of him with the bat all the same.”

Marcus has fully realized the issue at hand. He keeps quiet, still thinking.

“Man, shouldn’t have fired the last therapist then if we just weren’t going to even have the match -- oh, oh, did he… he doesn’t have the virus, does he?”

Marcus dismisses the question.

“No, he doesn’t have the virus. I don’t think so, anyway.”

He shifts seats to move one over away from Caffrey, knowing he has no idea what the answer to that question what have been.

“Let’s focus on your match with Timeless, shall we?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

He looks out the window.

“Loser leaves SWAT… man, I almost feel bad.”

“You do?”

“Fuck no.”

Caffrey moves to get up. Marcus puts his hands out, trying to advise his client not to do anything stupid, but he gets up and leans on his seat. He is a little weary, and you can see the stitches in his back that came from his match against Brad Swann.

“Timeless is nothing a parasite. He has made his name on the global stage by attempting to rip me down at every opportunity. I mean for fucks’ sake, before he blasted me with a chair, his biggest moment to the rest of the XHF was putting on one of my shirts and doing an impression of me.”

We can hear Marcus snickering in his seat just thinking about the impression. Caffrey glares at him.

“And that’s the most Timeless will amount to in the Xtreme Hardcore Federation. His legacy will forever be being a pale comparison to the real thing.”

Caffrey finds a position comfortable for him. He keeps speaking.

“A quick story for you all: when I joined SWAT as easily the most high-profile signing that the company has had since it joined the Network, Timeless was the first one I fought in a singles match, but we had met in the mini-rumble two weeks before. It took over five people to get me to hit the floor. Timeless and his… ‘associate’... went out of their way to weigh me down with concrete shoes and eject me from the ring. I’ve not forgotten that.”

Marcus takes out one of Caffrey’s spare copybooks and starts making running notes as the former X-Crown champion speaks.

“I pinned Timeless the following show, and I thought that was that. But then we both went out for the XHF Rumble, and while I cemented myself as the Best on the Network that night… he hit the floor before the biggest dogs in the yard could properly get acquainted. While all the important people they put on the billboards were still in the ring where it happens, Roxy was helping Timeless up that ramp and scraping egg of his face. I think I heard more people catcalling her than booing him as you left, but hey, that’s just his career lately, isn’t it?"

“And so you think to yourself, maybe that’s just globally. Let’s see what Timeless is up to back on his home turf.”

He loads up a few previous match cards on his phone and swipes through them to jog his memory.

“Teaming with the KGB… which, Timeless… I don’t think they were EVER as big as you think they are in your head. I only know what those letters stand for because I’m under contract. You guys are such a far second to the Society of the New Breed that the moment a new group shows up, you’ll be third before they even step in the ring. Luckily for you, the one thing you have in common with Syb and Valentine is that you’ve both recently run into the wall that is our world champion.”

Caffrey lets out a small half smile.

“But I think the biggest indicator of your career lately is what you were doing the night of my title defense against Death Trap. While I was defending the X-Crown, the most prestigious achievement in the entire federation against Death Trap, you… you were curtain jerkin’ against the Hired Killers. While I was up here...”

He holds up his phone, displaying the Whatever It Takes card. He is at the top. He scrolls down.

“...you were down here. You were so far down the fucking card they didn’t even both writing a preview for it because they knew NO ONE GAVE A SHIT about you!”

He chucks his Pixel to Marcus.

“What are you going to do, Timeless?! What are you going to do when you’re out of fucking work and you don’t have a goddamn job? You could set the entire KGB on me and somehow fuck me over yet AGAIN, and I would have five contract offers in my inbox before the ref could count to three. I am the bright fucking shining star that YOU COULD NEVER BE!”

Caffrey is on a roll now. He is running on pure adrenaline and justified anger.

“You are JEALOUS of EVERYTHING I have and you have made it your goal to take every fucking thing I have worked for since the moment I set foot in this company. Almost every single thing that I’ve wanted and worked for, you’ve gone out of your way to screw me out of because you can’t deal with the facts that I’m a better wrestler than you, that I’m the cause for the higher ratings, that you will NEVER accomplish the feats I’ve already achieved. You take your self-hatred out on me because I am the embodiment of success while you can’t even shed jokes about being Roxylishus’ number two.”

The phrase ‘embodiment of success’ takes something out of Caffrey. He looks down, scratching the back of his head. He catches his breath and finally continue.

“Usually… usually the ‘embodiment of success’. These past two months, I’ve lost more than I lost in the entirety of 2019. People up and down clamored for me to join a company where I’d be presented a real challenge when I was ruling the roost in AXW, and I found here in SWAT. I’ve adopted this as my second home and become a starring staple in five months. I’ve had shit luck lately. You came into my life at just the wrong time, you are the harbinger of all of my recent failure, and at Memorial, I get to exercise this demon by caving its head in with my baseball bat.”

Caffrey’s bat is laying on the floor where he was sitting.

“There’s one problem with all of your plans, Timeless. One little flaw that you weren’t counting on five months ago, one thing that you still aren’t thinking of now. Well, now that I think about it, two problems…”

Caffrey holds up two fingers.

“...number one is that the Wrestling Emperor has emerged from his hibernation. Granted, I don’t think I’m going to do much wrestling in this match -- hitting you in the fuckin’ head with a chair is not nearly the same thing as my elbow. I didn’t get to channel this energy against Brad, and there’s a terrible shame. I am hurting and sore still from my match with Rat Bastard, but underneath everything you are looking at a man who has no greater goal right now than to purge you from his system. You took my pride and joy from me, and with the damage to that pretty little car of yours, I have taken your joy. Now I will take your pride while an Empire of thousands of fans roots for me to kick your ass all over the great state of Georgia.”

He drops a finger, revealing just the middle finger.

“Congrats, Timeless. You finally got people to think about you. Unfortunately, this is all they think of you.”

He waves the finger at the camera.

“See, you not only pissed me off when you smacked me in the head with a fuckin’ chair in front of the blindest referee in SWAT history, but you pissed off thousands of people. You pissed off hard-working individuals struggling all over the world to get through COVID-19 and quarantine, people who had rallied behind and me around me as a break from all the crazy bullshit happening in the world right now. When everything has fallen apart, I was something a little nice for them, a little luxury they could have in the time of a crisis I was one of their little slivers of happiness, a moment they could all take in and just lose their minds over, yelling and screaming in pure joy and happiness as they rode with me through the incredible highs of capturing and defending the biggest prize in our sport.”

Caffrey’s voice isn’t even hitting the peaks of his anger. He intensely stares at the camera, focused on his opponent.

“When you took the Crown from me, you took that happiness from them, you son of a bitch.”

He gets closer to the camera.

“At Memorial, when you and I finally come face to face, when this legislation laid down by Zoran that I can’t touch you comes to an end… it’s not going to be pretty. There are going to be thousands of fans in that arena booing you, but there are thousands more watching from the comfort and safety from their own homes. They’ll also be cheering me, screaming for me to hit you with anything I can get my fucking hands on, as I go to work FOR THEM, working to reclaim both their happiness and mine.”

You can almost see the fire burning in Caffrey’s eyes.

“There’s a few sayings for this situation, Timeless. You don’t spit in the wind, you don’t tug on Superman’s cape, and after I’m through with you, after I’ve beaten you bloody and broken your body to the point where you can’t even defend yourself...”

There is no smile coming from the former X-Crown champion.

“...and you don’t phuck with a Wrestling Emperor.”

Caffrey pauses for a few more seconds for the moment to land. As we’re about to have the camera cut, we can make out one more thing as the Philadelphian returns to his seat, grabbing his head again.

“Maybe we should have a doctor look at you…”

The camera cuts.

[ManMountainFierce]

KGB Productions Brings You
James Fierce Presents: FOUNDERS! A Beatnik in the Foundation.


I like founders. It's a darn fine beer.

But I don't like fakes. Fake founders, fake wrestlers. 

I like Founders, but not the ones who fail.

Leaders lead, but Suiters follow.

And that's what you did.

You followed.

You never led.

You may have been a founder

But a leader you were not

You cozied up to snakes

And you were surprised when they bit

You are a Founder

But you did none of the lifting

You are a founder

Yet your vision was bleak

You are a founder, sure

But your foundation is that of sand.

I like Founders, but yours is not a foundation worth building upon.

We have destroyed your monument to yourself.

Your image is broken

Your foundation is gone

So yes, be a founder

Our backs are no longer your base.

Long live the Founder of Founders

Long Live Nero, the Founder of crumbs.

But what do we know?

We are mere bandits.

And I like Founders, a mighty fine beer.



THE END.

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Well up next is this huge grudge match with The Founder Paul Soutter and The Hillbilly Assassin James Fierce. This was a 20-year friendship that was destroyed at the Anzac cup.

Andrew Fulton: Fierce turned his back and put Soutter in the Intensive Care Unit hell I thought he was dead.

Jeremy Tucker: Yeah that was a shocker and tonight it’s all about revenge.

Andrew Fulton: These two men are going to come out strong.

[Rip it Up by 28 Days blares thru the arena and the Big Bad Bustling Bandit, Mad Dog Paul Soutter makes his way to the ring, high fiving the fans along the way..]

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Melbourne, Australia. Coming in at 6’3 and 364 pounds .... The Founder ... MAD DOG PAUL SOUTTER!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Soutter looks focussed and ready for this match.

Andrew Fulton: Tonight he will be focused on revenge hell if i was him I would want to send Fierce to the hospital

The strum of the banjo brings the red blood splatter on the video board as James walks out onto the stage. He looks left and then right slowly shaking his head before a smile creeps across his face.

Frank Salazar : Now introducing his opponent, hailing from Some Holler in VW. Coming in at 6’1 and 255 pounds .... representing the KGB ..... The Ferocious One .... JAMES FIERCE!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Fierce is living up his name. He looks fierce and ready to go to war. These two men are staring down each other and the Bell rings. The two men are exchanging words with each other in the ring. Soutter moves in close as the two men scream at each other.

Andrew Fulton: Souter points and acts as if someone is coming from the outside and Fierce turns his head and receives a massive punch to the face. Payback time.

Jeremy Tucker: Followed that up with another hard punch and a kick to the midsection and tosses Fierce into the corner. Soutter follows him in and clotheslines Fierce as he comes outs of the corner

Andrew Fulton: Fierce rolls out of the ring to stop the assault on him.

Jeremy Tucker: Fierce had to know this was going to get personal fast. But Fierce is back in the ring and the two men lockup. Fierce then slams down Soutter with a suplex.

Andrew Fulton: Soutter is standing back up and Fierce comes behind just in time to get a kick in the nuts and Soutter takes advantage of it. Soutter goes for a ddt and Fierce reverses it and slams Soutter down.

Jeremy Tucker: These guys know each other well in the ring and the winner is going to need to change up their normal.

Andrew Fulton: I sadly have to admit that you are right, Soutter is back up and he scoops slams down Fierce and follows it up with an elbow to the gut.

Jeremy Tucker: That was a huge elbow and now Soutter has mounted Fierce and is striking him with Left and right blows to the face. Soutter is out for blood.

Andrew Fulton: Fierce is able to get Soutter off of him. Well, that assault looked like someone who is trying to avenge the backstabbing. Oh wait that is right, that is what this is.

Jeremy Tucker: Soutter is behind him and he steps one leg over and what is this...

Andrew Fulton: Is Soutter trying to lock on Hillbilly Dirt Show

Jeremy Tucker: Fierce Blocks the move and rolls and grabs the ankle of Soutter and Rolls him and locks on the cloverleaf leg lock.

Andrew Fulton: Soutter is in pain but is crawling for the ropes.

Jeremy Tucker: Fierce is pulling him back and Soutter fights for the ropes.

Andrew Fulton: Soutter needs to move about another foot to get to the ropes.

Jeremy Tucker: Soutter reaches but he can't get to it.

Andrew Fulton: Soutter grabs the rope finally and the referee calls for the break.

Jeremy Tucker: Fierce drops the hold and steps back and yells for him to get up. Fierce charges at him and clotheslines him out of the ring.

Andrew Fulton: Wow I have never seen a more lucky landing, Soutter lands on his feet and grabs the legs of Fierce and pulls him down and drags him to the corner. He slams his leg into the turnbuckle.

Jeremy Tucker: Once wasn't enough he goes for it again. Do you think he is going to try and use another one of Fierce moves?

Andrew Fulton: Looks like it, yes he has locked on the Figure 4 lock around the turnbuckle.

Jeremy Tucker: Damn that's cold using your former friends moves on them.

Andrew Fulton: He holds it as long as he can … The founder is headed back to the attack and slides back in the ring. Soutter quickly tries to lock in the Hillbilly Dirt Show and James Fierce rolls out of it. The two men are back up

Jeremy Tucker: Again he is trying to use his own move on him he knows how no person has broken that hold. Fierce knows it inside out though.

Andrew Fulton: The fact is both of these men want to kill each other.

Jeremy Tucker: The two men continue to fight as they get back up on their feet.

Andrew Fulton: The founder is now choking his former friend with both hands. Fierce then receives a headbutt as well. Then Fierce stumbles but throws a hook. They both are throwing punches now and the two men are both trying to out punch the other. Fierce grabs Soutter and throws him into the ropes.

Jeremy Tucker: Giant fucking Spear by Soutter. Soutter goes once again for the Hillbilly Dirt Show and this time he locks it in. The referee is checking

Andrew Fulton: What is he doing out here?

Jeremy Tucker: Armand Von Krauss is out here.

Andrew Fulton: Armand is in the ring and he lays the referee out with some kind of bag with something in it. He then turns his attention to Soutter.

Jeremy Tucker: Looks like a Drilltip is coming… And down goes Soutter. Both Fierce and Armand double-teaming Soutter.

Andrew Fulton: A double powerbomb and now Fierce is going to use Soutter’s own finisher now… here comes the Soutter Special. He goes for the cover as Armand helps the referee up.

………………...1

……………………………...2

………………………………………..3

Frank Salazar : The winner of the match via pinfall is James Fierce!!!

Andrew Fulton: Armand has just helped screw over The Founder Paul Soutter

[Armand and Fierce lay the boots to Soutter and then Armand raises the hand of Fierce in victory. The KGB theme pumping thru the arena.]

[radu]

Time-lapse footage showing the lifecycle of a fly plays across the screen...

Sabrina Sinstone: So this is it, Rad?


Radu Matei: Seems to be, Sabrina. You don’t trust me?


Sabrina Sinstone: You just struck me as the type that would...


Radu Matei: Die in the ring? The best laid plans. Trust me, I would be continuing down that path if their was some sport in it, but as an absolute certainty? Not my style. So no, I have to hang things up.


Sabrina Sinstone: I still expected a little more build up.


Radu Matei: The nature of forced retirements. We can’t always pick our time. Many thought I was dead after winning the world strap, so for my body to keep going this long? Hell of a surprise. The rags called New Years Nightmare my swan song. They were probably right, so being able to drag it out an extra seven months till Memorial? I might be running on fumes, but getting one last chance to pay tribute to my friend Tim Jackson, and the rest of the boys that made this company great? I can’t think of a better place to make a curtain call.


Sabrina Sinstone: What made you decide on Suzi Spitz as a final opponent?


Radu Matei: Suzi Spitz is my second favourite SWAT world champion. I think the world of Suzi. Put my faith in her. She hasn’t had the easiest transitions since dropping the strap, trying to find her footing and bounce back. I have one match left in me? Lets use it to showcase what a great talent Suzi is, and remind SWAT that even though one of their champs is calling it quits, there are many others around here to give them the best damned action on the XHF Network.


Sabrina Sinstone: So this isn’t just about getting your win back, Rad?


Radu Matei: Ouch. You wound me, Sab. I don’t really care about the loss. Only singles loss? That’s a feather in Suzi’s cap. If she can use it, more power to her. I have more than my share of victories. I was due.


Sabrina Sinstone: Isn’t that the regret, though?


Radu Matei: Shooting straight. My regret isn’t the loss, but I’d be lying if I said I was happy about what went down afterwards. I was in a match with Joanne Canelli, Timeless and Suzi. Could I have retained? Maybe – but I wouldn’t have made it another battleground, and one of the KGB most likely would have taken it off me. I trusted Suzi to carry on the task of making the world title shine. Of fighting the good fight. Of making SWAT great. Respect. Trusting someone to look out for the fans so I could retire on my terms. What did I get? Apparently she immediately went to management about selling an injury for another federation. Vacating it, or delaying defenses? Who knows – but the putting our fans behind one of the dozen other federations she was in. That felt like a slap in the face.


Sabrina Sinstone: So there is bad blood between you.


Radu Matei: I have nothing but good intentions for Suzi Spitz. The nature of her title win over me was complicated, and the situation after that was equally complicated. I was disappointed, but I understand where she’s coming from. I tried to do right by her. Now I o it again, by calling her out for my last match. I have no doubt that she will rise to the occasion and give me the fight of my life, so I can go out on a high point. ...because if she tanks it, well, I would take that VERY personally.


Sabrina Sinstone: We’re going to miss you, Rad.


Radu Matei: Thanks Sab. Honestly, if this event teaches us anything, it’s that none of us ever really go. We’re still here in spirit.


Having expired, the fly quickly decomposes, the footage running out just as we fade to black.

[thecomedian]

[Fade in to "The Golden God" Rally Jackson in the backstage dressing room area.  He is loosening up, stretching, getting ready for his match.  A man enters.]

Rally Jackson:  Ok I'll have three of the spicy chicken sandwiches with extra pickles.  A slice of the pecan pie.  A four piece and 2 liters of that sweet tea.  Thanks buddy!

Man:  Hello Rally! My name is Zach!  Oh there seems to be a bit of confusion!  Jonnie hired me to be your new personal trainer.  We need to get you back in shape.  

Rally Jackson:  What are you talking about?  I'm in the best shape I have ever been in,  ::goes to do a lunge and passes gas::  See?  That's all the dietary fiber!

Zach:  ::looks like he wants to vomit::  Ooh pungent.  Well the truth ::gag:: the truth is Rally ::turns bright red:: Rally the common belief  ::cough cough::  the common belief is that you would be world champion right now if it wasn't for your conditioning.  You had the bull by the balls and you.... got tired.

Rally Jackson:  In my defense, that guy is supernatural.  A ghost, a spector, some type of demon I think.

Zach:  So you constantly question pro wrestling tropes like backstage sneak attacks, you're a cynic when it comes to the rampant ped use, but a guy says he's a ghost and you take him at face value?  Rally, I can specifically point to parts of the match where you had the guy hurt and failed to capitalize because you were sucking wind.  Jonnie, Syberus, even came out to try to encourage you to get a second wind.

Rally Jackson:  You obviously watched the match.  You saw I came in at 299 lbs so I'm clearly on the right track.

Zach:  Rally step on a scale please.

Rally Jackson:  No.

Zach:  Rally I don't think you weigh 299 lbs.  Rally I think you have only gained weight.

Rally Jackson: Gained weight?  We just met.

Zach:  Rally the button on your pants just exploded.

[Rally's pants fall down followed by awkward silence.]

Rally Jackson:  Ok so what do I need to do?

Zach:  Let's see if you could touch your toes...

[Rally bends over to touch his toes but can't quite reach.]

Rally Jackson:  Toe touching is all about hamstring flexibility. Hardly indicative of someone's shape.

Zach:  Aren't you a capoeira master?  Is that what they're called, masters?

Rally Jackson:  They just used to say I was the best dancer on my block.

Zach:  Whatever Rally, let's see you do a pushup.  ::Rally drops and starts::  Knees up.  ::Rally completes one::  It doesn't count if your knees are on the ground.  ::Rally does another::

Rally Jackson:  I can do this all day!

[Zach reaches down and grabs Rally's knees off the ground.  Rally faceplants.]

Rally Jackson:  You made your point.  But what about my opponent Eddie D?  That dude is so fat ::takes out his phone and types something into google::  Eddie D is so fat when he showers....

Zach:  Eddie D does not have friends that hired me.  Eddie D is a walking hippopotamus but that's not my problem.  He clearly doesn't have friends you have and one day his heart will probably explode.

Rally Jackson:  ::still checking his phone::  Ok ok Eddie D is so fat when he steps on a scale....

Zach:  Why don't you step on that scale then Rally?

Rally Jackson:  ..... at a time please.  

[Zach rips the phone out of Rally's hand and types something in.]

Zach:  Want to see something funny?  Look at this.  ::hands Rally the phone::

Rally Jackson:  What am I looking at?

Zach:  That's Chris Farley's corpse Mr. funny man.  That is where you're headed.

Rally Jackson:  Ok this took a dark turn.  I mean if I remember correctly Chris Farley had a lot of other issues.

Zach:  Rally, before I came in, some stripper walked out with a clearly unwhiped...

Rally Jackson:  ::cutting him off quickly::  Mouth!  Mouth!  We've had complaints and I can't be so vulgar.

Zach:  And you thought saying mouth was less vulgar?

Think about your choices Rally.  And I'll be back next month.  Unless you come up with a better idea for a backstage skit.

Rally Jackson:  ::ushering him out the door::  We both know I will.  Seriously, though, can you get that Popeye's order?

[Jonnie Valentine]

("Papa Just Wants The Best For You" by Danny Aiello hits and the crowd jumps to their feet. "The Kit AND The Kaboodle" Jonnie Valentine jogs down to the ring, handing out tiny American flags to fans)


Jeremy Tucker: I don't believe it! It's Jonnie Valentine! He's here! He's here in our presence! 


Andrew Fulton: Of course, he's booked tonight. 


Jeremy Tucker: God, I love this song! It's no "My Heart Beats With People" but it's close. 


(Jonnie stops with an older woman and they start lip syncing the chorus, "Papa just wants the best for you, he just wants to be proud of you", then moves on to slapping hands and handing out tiny American flags) 


Jeremy Tucker: I'm gonna go see what he wants. 


(Jonnie points out some teenager in the front row, roboting to "Papa Just Wants The Best For You" while Jeremy Tucker enters the ring with the house mic. Jonnie Valentine pulls on the top rope and vaults inside the ring, getting a big pop from the crowd) 


Jeremy Tucker: "Jonnie I think I speak for everyone when I say we are delighted by this surprise appearance." 


Jonnie Valentine: "Shucks, Mr. Tucker. I'm just glad to be here, and in front of the good people of Atlanta, G.A.!"


(The State Farm Arena roars and Jonnie pumps his fist, and yells "Yeah!")  


Jeremy Tucker: "Now, we saw you passing out little American flags..."


Jonnie Valentine: "I hate to interrupt you Mr. Tucker, because my Momma raised me never to do such a thing. But the reason they're so tiny is so I could pass out more of them. If I carried flags as large as my love for the United States, I could only hand them to one or two people, and that wouldn't be fair to the rest of the people now would it?"


(The fans boo Jeremy Tucker for suggesting only one person should get a flag, and people start chanting "JERRY SUCKS!! JERRY SUCKS!! JERRY SUCKS!!") 


Jeremy Tucker: "Oh no, I didn't mean to suggest..."


Jonnie Valentine: "That's OK, Mr. Tucker. I know you didn't mean no harm."


Andrew Fulton: Where did this Southern drawl come from? He's from Palm Springs. 


Jonnie Valentine: "The reason I'm out here is because, well, I'm just plum scared that 'Rockin' Rick Owen is gonna confuse the good people here in Atlanta. You see, he's a good man. A man of faith. And any other day I would ask him to sit in a park and talk about...rabbits or angels....look it doesn't matter what we would talk about, we would talk about nice things. But what he and I got to do tonight is nothing nice. And it hurts my heart that the good people of Georgia, where I am a very decorated veteran will have to see what I do to him. And Mr. Tucker it doesn't matter how decorated I am in this state." 


Jeremy Tucker: (nods) 


Jonnie Valentine: "It doesn't matter that I won the Georgia National title here in UWA." 


(Mild pop)  


Jonnie Valentine: "It doesn't matter that I was voted UWA Georgia's Most Popular Wrestler of the Year in 1993."


(Crowd cheers louder)  


Jonnie Valentine: "It doesn't matter that the Georgia Bulldogs consider me an unofficial member or all the jerseys they send me..."


(The Atlanta fans start chanting "LET'S GO DAWGS! LET'S GO DAWGS! LET'S GO DAWGS!" while Jonnie leads them)  


Jeremy Tucker: What does matter is that I have been here for these people, while Rick Owen has not. Rick has been everywhere else but here, while I...Jonnie Valentine, The Kit AND The Kaboodle, The Human Dropkick Machine, The Heat Magnet have given everything for these particular people....


(The audience chants "THANK YOU JONNIE *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* THANK YOU JONNIE *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* THANK YOU JONNIE *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*" while Jonnie pretends to get choked up and mouths "Thank You" back at them) 


Jonnie Valentine: Mr. Tucker, I won't take much more of your time, because I know you got more wrasslin matches to talk over, but I am dedicating this match to every man, woman, child and cat...


Jeremy Tucker: And dog. 


Jonnie Valentine: Actually I am gonna leave dogs out of this if you don't mind Mr. Tucker. If I am able to defeat Mr. Owen, and that is a big if, I hope that it can prove to the good looking fans we have here that I, am their humble representative. USA! USA! USA! 


(The fans start chanting "USA! USA! USA!" as "Papa Just Wants The Best For You" by Danny Aiello plays and Jonnie vaults over the ropes and back to the ring floor. He mouths to the camera "That's how you get heat, Rick!" and then runs back up the aisle, slapping the fans' hands the whole way up) 

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Well fans up next we have a very special contest...


Andrew Fulton: The world title match that never happened.


Jeremy Tucker: That’s right. Only one person has ever pinned The Sacrificial Idol in a singles match. Suzi Spitz defeated Radu Matei in a four-way-dance, when he pulled her on top of himself rather than give Timeless a chance to pick up the win. Would he have lost in a one on one match? The question dogged Suzi’s title reign, so in his retirement match, Radu Matei is giving Suzi Spitz the opportunity to set the record straight.


Andrew Fulton: Opportunity? More like massacre. Did you see that Matei interview? He must have lost forty pounds of muscle. The Idol is on his last legs, and should be easy pickings.


Jeremy Tucker: Even if its not their peaks, this is still a battle of former world champions, and should be one for the books. Lets send it down to


Frank Salazar: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall...

[C.O.D. hits and Suzi makes her way to the ring, high fiving the fans on the way.]


Frank Salazar: Entering first, standing at 5’10”, weighting in at 135lbs, and coming to us from New Orleans,


Former SWAT World Champion


The Violent Vixen


S U Z I

S P I T Z ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


*MONSTER POP*

[The house lights fade, leaving the arena in darkness.]

#SHAKE IT... like a ladder to the sun#

[Yeah Yeah Yeahs' ZERO starts to pump over the PA system.]

#Makes me feel like a madman on the run#

[The tron starts to show footage of the world champion's recent defences. Black and white. The amount of blood loss makes it look like an old horror film, but it does the trick working the crowd up into a frenzy.]

#find me never, never far gone...#
#So get your leather, leather...#
#LEATHER ON on on on...#

[The footage then cuts to the backstage, just as the champion throws a powder blue leather jacket over his vintage '86 DOA "To Hell and back" tee. Not the best wrestling attire, but its a better look than the mass of bandages that give him a Mummy vibe. As the music hits his cue, he starts pushing forwards towards the curtains.]

#You're a zerooooooooooooooOOOOOOoo#
#What's your name?#
#No one's gonna ask you#
#Better find out where they want you to GOOOOOOOooooooooo#
#Try and hit the spot#
#Get to know it in the dark#

[Purple spotlights search through the crowd, building a sense of anticipation. The audience cheer for the next participant, as repulsive as he is, he's oddly compelling. The erratic movement of the lights start to circle closer together before eventually, the perfect circles of light connect into the body of a large centipede. The visual representation of the insect stalks over the crowd, before racing towards the entranceway. Hitting the black curtains, the purple lights seem to double up, and fold into themselves.]

#Get to know it whether you're a crime, crime, crime of love#
#Can you climb, climb#
#climb hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigher?#

[Rough hands swatting aside the curtain, the five-time SWAT Dixieland champion pushes his way out into the arena. Clenching his fists, Radu Matei starts to stalk down the aisle in sync with the music.]

#Shake it like a ladder to the sun#
#Makes me feel like a madman on the run#
#Know you're never, never far gone#
#So get your leather, leather, leather on-on-on-on-on#

[The Sacrificial Idol extends a hand to apprehensively slap one, then another. He is going to miss this positive feedback. Getting into the spirit of it, Radu leans closer to the railings on his travels back and forth, slapping more hands on his way down the aisle.]

#You're a zerooooooooooooo#
#What's your name?#
#No one's gonna ask you#
#Better find out where they want you to goooooooooooooooooooooo#
#Try and hit the spot#
#Get to know it in the dark#
#Get to know it whether you're a crime, crime, crime of loooooooooooooooooove#
#Can you climb, climb, climb hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigher?#

[Arriving at ringside, the former champion lifts the ring curtain to check on his bag of tricks. Nothing has escaped. Probably for the best. Leaving the sack next to the ring steps, Matei slowly ascends to the ring. Getting into the middle of the ring, he still seems uncomfortable, but throws a heavily bandaged arm up in the air to a massive pop from the crowd. The Deathless has arrived.]


Frank Salazar : And her opponent, hailing from Sibiu, Romania. Coming in at 6’2 and 234 pounds ....


The Sacrificial Idol, Deathless, Unbreakable M, and Beast of Dixie himself...


R A D U

M A T E I!!!


*MONSTER POP*



Jeremy Tucker : A friendly nod before the match starts, but both competitors looking deadly serious.

DING! DING!!!! DING!!!!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker: And they’re off! Both coming out of their corners, and Suzi snaps off a dropkick to the knee! Radu refusing to acknowledge it, so from the ground Suzi with a thrust kick – and again, just working that left leg.

Andrew Fulton: He puts on a brave face under that mess of bandages, but you know those are taking their toll. Matei reaches down to throttle Spitz, but another well-placed kick starts to buckle that knee.

Jeremy Tucker: Spitz rolling away from that choke attempt, and bouncing back with a shining wizard!


#SNAP#

Andrew Fulton: That’s going to leave a mark.

Jeremy Tucker: Radu again ignoring it, going for a hellacious closeline, but Suzi managing to duck under, and quick transition into a reverse neckbreaker! Starts to go for a quick cover, but Radu throws her off.

Andrew Fulton: Spitz catching him coming up with a standing dropkick. He’s still coming. Short-armed closeline. Still coming. Suzi ducks a right hook, and pulls him into a Fallaway powerslam! I can’t believe she got him up! No way he’s still 235!

Jeremy Tucker: That got a reaction. Radu was saying he has some kidney issues after the Anzac Finals, and it looks like Suzi taking advantage. Standing senton onto Radu’s size, and the Sacrificial Idol just turned pale as a ghost.

Andrew Fulton: A series of knees to the side. Radu barely able to cover up, just absorbing the damage but Suzi has found her mark.

Jeremy Tucker: Double underhook backbreaker!!!

Andrew Fulton: Radu looked like he was ready to scream on that one. Suzi grinding an elbow into the side, while turning it into a cover! ONE!!!!!!!!!!! Big kickout.

Jeremy Tucker: Knee to the side, and standing moonsault again hitting the spot. Bandages around Radu’s side covered in blood.

Andrew Fulton: It wouldn’t be a Radu match if he wasn’t dying. Bleeding on Spitz might be his first move of the match.

Jeremy Tucker: Certainly one sided. Double stomp off the ropes – and Spitz could end up breaking Matei’s ribs. Not the feel good encounter between respectful former comrades in arms that we were expecting. Fisherman’s Suplex!!!
















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!















Jeremy Tucker: Another big kickout by Radu, defiant until the end.


Andrew Fulton: He can take a beating – but speed and size? This is not prime Matei. I might give the guy a hard time, but this is sad. Kind of reminds me of Andre’s Demolition feud.


Jeremy Tucker: SUZI WITH A SITDOWN POWERBOMB!!!!!!!!!!!
















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton: Matei with a fistful of ropes, and Suzi starting to look frustrated.

Jeremy Tucker: Suzi again hoisting him up for the... RUNNING POWERBOMB!!!!!!
















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


















TWO-

Andrew Fulton: Another kickout. And Suzi with a clubbing blow to the ribs for Matei’s effort. Should probably stick to the side, if she doesn’t care about killing him. ...and he practically encourages it.


Jeremy Tucker: Spitz using elbows to work the ribs, and taking him over with a double underhook backbreaker! It has certainly been the most effective move thus far. And a THIRD ONE!!!











ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
















Andrew Fulton: Matei again gets to the ropes.


Jeremy Tucker: Deathless going for a forearm smash, but Spitz steps out of reach and buries a knife-edge chop into those bloody ribs. A few more chops to get up, and kicking away to keep Matei down. Setting him up in the corner-











THE ORAL VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!














THE-

Andrew Fulton: Kickout!

Jeremy Tucker: Spitz not missing a beat, pulls herself back up with the ropes, and a SECOND ORAL VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WILL DO IT!!!!!

Andrew Fulton: Instead of the cover, she lifts him up for...







! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !











Jeremy Tucker: THE BITCHMAKER!!!!!!!!!!!


Andrew Fulton: Suzi cranking back on that sharpshooter! Radu doesn’t tend to submit, but he’s in the centre of the ring with nowhere to go.


Jeremy Tucker: Radu reaching out for the ropes, but they are just too far away.


Andrew Fulton: Referee Kit Kapp asking Radu if he submits, shaking his head. He may end up dying in the ring yet.


Jeremy Tucker: Fans chanting for Matei. If you’d told me at the start of our XHF run that the guy who locked Lynn Brewster in a box of maggots would become one of the most beloved figured in SWAT – I would have questioned how much people hate Lynn Brewster.


Andrew Fulton: It was a hell of a run. Not going to miss the bugs.


Jeremy Tucker: Radu looks barely conscious, and Kapp asking again...
















! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !












*MEGA POP*


Andrew Fulton: HE BROKE IT!

Jeremy Tucker: Fans on their feet, as Radu Matei BREAKS OUT of the Bitchmaker!

Andrew Fulton: He’s free, but what does he have left?

Jeremy Tucker: Suzi Spitz jumping back up, and charging back over! Big kneestrike to Matei’s ribs! Now pulling him up for an abdominal stretch!












! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Andrew Fulton: Reversal!

Jeremy Tucker: MATEI REVERSES INTO AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH OF HIS OWN!!!

Andrew Fulton: I was joking about his stigmata being a hold, is that Matei’s first move of the match?

Jeremy Tucker: Matei seems to be further agitating those ribs, but cranking back on that stretch for all its worth.












! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !



























DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Andrew Fulton: She quit!


Jeremy Tucker: Never count the man out, but from out of nowhere, Matei with a devastating manoeuvre


Andrew Fulton: A single hold and a submission? Jesus.


Frank Salazar: THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST, AS THE RESULT OF A SUBMISSION,


RADU MATEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*MASSIVE POP*


Jeremy Tucker: Radu Matei letting go of that hold, both him and Suzi holding their ribs in agony.


Andrew Fulton: Matei offering a handshake. The mutual respect is enough to make me gag.


Jeremy Tucker: For a person who bleeds wrestling, walking away from this sport is going to be difficult for him. It was important to retire on a high point, and Matei just showing his appreciation to Suzi for showing up, and giving it her all.


! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


*HELL YEAH*


Jeremy Tucker: BED BUGS BITE!!!!!!!!!!!!


Andrew Fulton: Finally that monster shows his true colours! Why aren’t the fans booing?


Jeremy Tucker: Radu lays Suzi out with his sleeper drop. And going for the bag.


Andrew Fulton: Not the-


! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Jeremy Tucker: Radu Matei emptying that bag of beetles all over the unconscious Suzi Spitz. Don’t let these post-match shenanigans confuse you fans, if he didn’t like her, they’d be fire ants.

Andrew Fulton: When Suzi wakes up she’s going to kill someone.

Jeremy Tucker: Radu Matei climbing the turnbuckles, posing with that empty bag, and the crowd eating it up!

Andrew Fulton: The idiots!

Jeremy Tucker: Cheered for covering a woman in bugs. There will only ever be one, Radu Matei.

Andrew Fulton: Thank god for that.

[Trent Jones MR Bones.]

Trent had just wanted to get home after the latest SWAT show, a lot was on his mind these days. He had not spoken to the Ryders lately and he has his new, well not sure what you call the people of the parish. Not to mention Molly parents were both coming to visit. Trent was not ready to meet the parents of his lover. They were the Bible thumpers and they did not approve of Trent's lifestyle, and they didn’t approve of them sharing a bed as they are not man and wife. Boy was this going to be a fun week oh and they don’t drink……Fuck

****************
Trent made his way down the wavy roads on his golden champion bike. Trent was wearing the newest Brothers In Anarchy Shirt and his Ryders vest was open and flapping in the wind. Trents forehead was sweaty as he parked the bike and stepped off. He notices Molly Car and also a car he didn’t recognize. He looks over as he walks to the door and the sexy Goth girl is standing at what she called her grave. Trent walks quickly towards the girl.

The girl hears him and turns, “Trent Daddy your home I have missed you master. Can I do anything for you or to you?” She smiles.

Trent stops in his tracks, “Molly is home I told you to stay away this week her parents are coming tomorrow.”

“You're so silly, they are here already and they don’t seem to like the idea of you living in an old church and graveyard.”

Fuck she was right their is a second car here is Trents thoughts as he quickly walks away from the girl and open the church doors.

The church has been cleaned up and all the dark symbols have been removed and the places where Trent hangs his victims' faces are now holding flower arrangements. Trent just shakes his head he isn’t happy and he knows the parish won’t like it.

He goes to sit on his throne of skulls and he notices that Duke's chair is gone. He is less than impressed. A delivery service man opens the door to the church and Trent walks towards him. The man sets down two big boxes and trent signs for them. The faces are home and so is his wrestling gear.

While he is opening the boxes and grabbing his bags the goth girl comes in. “Hey Trent Daddy wants me to grab those for you…”

Trent quickly put his hand over mouth and she licked it and bites his hand. He removes it, “one stop calling me Daddy that creeps me out. Second, I thought I made it clear you needed to leave. And third why the fuck did you just lick me and bite me?”

She just giggles as he walks away and bends over and shows her legs and the bottom of her ass to Trent.

“She is the fucking devil”

“Who’s a devil?” Molly entered the room just after the goth girl left.

Trent did not want to turn because for some reason between the bite and the ass cheeks Trent was sporting some major wood. “Oh nothing baby, god I am so glad to see you it feels like it’s been forever.”

Molly comes up behind him and jumps on his back and puts his arms around her neck. She kisses his face and quickly lowers herself down and comes around to face him. She notices the tent in his pants. “Trent stop my parents are napping we can’t have sex with them here this week.”

Fuck a whole week Trent was hoping for a day or 2 max. “Baby I can’t go all week with out sex, your my drug and I am addicted to you baby.” Molly hugs him again and notices the goth girl is looking in the window. She licks her lips and then kisses one of her fingers and then sucks her finger in her mouth.

Trents head was spinning and he reached for his pills and Molly is happy to see that he is taking them. He goes into the house part of the church and opens up a fridge and notices his beer is gone. He grabs a water and takes his pills. He turns and a sexy older blonde women is standing in a beautiful sundress and Trent looks at her, “Molly didn’t tell me she had a twin sister.”

Moly mother shakes her head and laughs, “nice try Trent to get brownie points, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Trent shakes her hand, “Janet it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

She smiles but it looks fake, “so when are you going to get a real job?”

In Trents head “A real job, shut the fuck up bitch I am the SWAT champion and I am loaded now…” but Trent knew that wasn’t the answer to give. “Look Janet I provide for me and Molly with my job and she will get to travel the world with me.”

That response was not making Janet happy but let’s face it that bitch was so uptight you never was going to please her, she was worse than the “Karen’s” of the world she knows everything.

Trent wasn’t going to argue with her he had a title match he needed to prepare for. He walked outside of the church and sat down on the steps. The title is going to be on the line again. This time he will be facing Syberous for the 100th time or so it felt. Trent would never admit it on camera but he knew Syb was a top talent guy and he knows he is hungry for the title.

“I have to admit Syberous that I am a little concerned with your mental status after watch your last promo. You took picture of my boy Eddie D and tried to find someone that looked like him. I have to wonder is it a fetish you have and because Eddie D doesn’t want you your trying to find someone you can call Eddie D? But you see what has me worried is you are going into this thinking you have this won. Thinking you will decrown me, but you see your face will hang in the parish next to Rally. It’s almost a shame that goth will be between my 3 bitches, valentine, rally and syb.”

Trent notices the goth girl walking around the cemetery and he shakes his head.

“Syb I feel like I am constantly talking about you because I have had to face you so many times already here in SWAT. But soon your face will join the wall of the parish.”

Trent walks towards the girl and he doesn’t look happy, “I could have sworn I said you need to leave.”

She turned and just smiled at Trent, “I told you baby I can’t leave here. Plus who else would get you all horned up. You know I forgot to put my panties on this morning can you see anything when I bend over?”

She bent over and Trent couldn’t help but look but he had to get out of there and headed back to the church. Trent sat back down on the steps.

“Syb after your face joins the others on the wall will I finally be done with you clowns?” Trent smiles as he sits out overlooking the graveyard. He sees the goth girl and she is flashing her goods again. He just shakes his head. “You see syb I am not just a champion I am a fucking god and you to will see what I can do. You see syb in the parish all are welcome you just have to be willing to give flesh. But I will let you in these doors so you can pray and worship me. Because when I am done I will make a believer out of you. You can be like the rest of the XHF and keep saying I am not the greatest champion but let’s face it bro I am the fucking greatest.”

Trent looks up as Molly, Janet and Mike walk out. Trent looks at them and he stands up and shakes mike hand a black limo pulls up and the four get in to go to dinner.

****************
Inside the restaurant Molly and Trent sit close together and Janet and Michael both sit on the opposite side. Trent grabs Molly hand and he holds in his. Molly smiles at him and Trent bends down and kisses her cheek. “Baby I love you so much!”

Janet just can’t help it she has to speak, “our pastor in our church gave a great sermon the other day about how it’s a sin to live together before marriage…” Molly face turned red. 

“Mother you need to stop, I just finished my divorce and I am waiting for the judge to sign off. I am not racing to get married again.”

Trent knows this will piss her off but he says it anyways, “baby maybe she is right, we aren’t married and we should be. So the second your divorce is final let’s get married we can do it at my parish!”

Molly shakes her head knowing Trent isn’t serious but Janet can’t handle it, “not happening, listen Trent people in our church have said they worry about Molly after the things you have said and done. From having sex with some low class women and acting like you had covid downstairs… to the way you talk about your co workers and show no respect. Like I bet you can’t say 5 nice things about your coworker you are facing next?”

Trent was not ready for all of this, he truly didn’t want to talk about the past. He has been faithful to Molly after they became Facebook official together. The covid thing was a misunderstanding and he had moved pat the mayo infection and all of that. But wanting him to speak nice about his “co worker” wasn’t something he wanted to do. Molly squeezed his hand as his mind was wondering.

“Look Janet I had some serious stupid moments when I was off my meds. I can’t make excuses for who I was, I can just worry about who I am today and who I will be tomorrow.” He pauses, “now when you speak about my coworkers you have to understand they pay me the big dollars to fight them and destroy them, only one of them are my friends.”

Trent pauses as he really tries hard to think of 5 things he likes about syb. “One thing I like about Syb is he knows he has to work 110% to even stand a chance against someone like me. He hasn’t learned that when my strap is on the line I go harder than ever. His 110% won’t be enough; he may want to go 150% if he wants to make it look close.”

Janet jumps in, “Well 100% is the most you can do, if you say you're going 110% that means you're just finally giving it all and you're lazy.”

Trent smiles as he replies, “So now it’s you trashing My opponent. But I also have to say that he had his major win last week and after it he decided to mock my best friend, Molly, maybeEddie D can be my best man.” Trent says it just to get a reaction. “Also last week syb had a mental health breakdown and snapped trying to say people looked like other people. But let’s face it, Syb isn’t healthy in the head and I like that so that’s two things so far.”

Janet speaks up, “Trent are you on your meds right now?”

Trent looks at her, “Janet I see you're very worried about me being on meds and I know you were a nurse. But I don’t need to be questioned. I am a grown ass man who makes more money than anyone at this table and I handle my own business. I guess the third thing I like about Syb is that he knew he had to win his match to get this shot… I love that he made sure he could win it. But the best part is it was all for nothing. That drive and that push to get to Trent Jones was all for nothing because his face joins the rest of his shit stable on the wall.”

Molly jumps in, “look let’s all just enjoy this meal”

Michael,her dad also speaks up, “Trent, we just want to make sure our daughter is safe and stays that way. I know it bothers Janet and I a little that you are living in an old church and a graveyard.”

Trent hater that he had to defend where they call home. Hell he still doesn’t remember ever going to look at it or buying it. The parish had welcomed him. Hell even the ryders didn't make him feel like he is home. Many had said to him over the years that he needed to find faith. He hated being fake but he loved Molly so he was going to pass this parents test.

Trent clears his throat and he speaks, “truth is this is just temporary spot to call home while the house is finished being built. I wasn’t to surprise Molly when it was all finished but I also don’t want you to worry.” Trent turns towards Molly, “The church will be my spot for wrestling stuff and the home will be more our personal place to live. It’s not far from here but enough that it is private and secure.”

Well the club house was almost finished and it was a house. Hell maybe Trent would just turn it into his home. Either way it was to be finished soon. Molly was so happy and her parents lost a lot of grounds to argue on.

“If you think for one second I would put your daughter at risk you're wrong. She is the only thing that matters more to me then my title.”

************

Scene cuts to Trent sitting on the steps on a cloudy gray day. He has on a brand new Trent Jones Let’s Parish hoodie and black Brothers in Anarchy shorts. Trent Focus is on the ground.

“You see, syb you have a date, and an estimated time slot to when you will learn that no one is getting this strap from me. You will join the other faces on the wall and you will realize that I’m done playing the games, done facing you week in and week out.”

[King Syberus]

“His 110% won’t be enough; he may want to go 150% if he wants to make it look close.”

[We fade into 110% Syberus tossing and turning in his bed. The shimmering light of a full moon reflecting through his window.]



110% Syberus: “No... no it can't be!”



“His 110% won’t be enough; he may want to go 150% if he wants to make it look close.”



[ A flash of lightning and a thunder strike jolt Syberus up from his sleep. Sweat pours down his beating chest. As if by cue, his phone rings.]



110% Syberus: “He... hello?”



[The voice of Dr. Raus Groonigen, Syb's percents guy, the finest doctor of theoretical precents in the world, delivers the blood chilling news Syberus was dreading.]



“It's true.”



[The phone goes dead. Syberus feels his chest sink and can only let the phone drop out of his limp hand in a cold shock. This can't be real.]



[150%.]



[150% for a guy cutting worse Goth promo's than Psychotic Goth.]



[150% for a guy that doesn't know the difference between their, there and they're.]



…



[He can't sleep. The piercing red glow from the alarm clock reads 3:45 and Syberus can only throw off the sheets. His mind races for the answers. Surely there's got to be a way? All of the many, many times he's already beaten Trent Jones flash through his thoughts but the truth remains elusive. He pinned the sack of shit only a couple of months back for the Anzac Cup. A 40% jump since then?!]



[He pads barefoot over to the en suite and washes his face. Looking up at the weary face that peers back at him from the mirror he can't help but question.]



[Could this be the end?]



[Forget the legends he's beaten through his career. Everyone knows the names. Forget the clearly-much-better-than-Trent-Jones guys he's already pinned here in SWAT, like Anthony Caffery, Eddie D and Alex Turner.]



[This guy.]



[This fucking idiot was going to be the one to make 110% Syberus go to a limit never thought possible.]



[His thoughts suddenly turn to the occasion. Reginald P. Packer, the first man to strap a World Heavyweight title around Syberus's waist in the UCW. What would he be thinking now, looking down?]



[ And Adrian. Syberus can't help but let out a chuckle. A pang of regret for a moment when he wishes, just for a second, the adventures of the Connection could run once more.]



[There was a solution. Syberus was sure of it. An illiterate douche living in a church wasn't going to be the one to stop him.]



[Or was he?]



[“But his wrestling is bad!” Syberus argued internally. “And his promo's are bad! They're the only two things we do!”]



[Syberus's toothbrush whirrs into life. He starts to brush as he continues the debate with himself.]



[“How can anyone so fucking obviously terrible require 150 perce...nt...]



[It hits him. His face drops. The toothbrush falls from his hand and clatters into the sink. For a moment he can do nothing, transfixed on his own reflection as the toothbrush rumbles around the porcelain by itself.]



[He turns it off and rushes down the stairs. Past a yawning Mrs. Wainwright.]



Mrs Wainwright: “Is it night terrors again deary? Has there been a little accident? Do I need to change the sheets?”



110% Syberus: “No thank you Mrs Wainwright!”



[She shakes her head as he disappears into the library. A moment's pause before she mutters to herself.]



Mrs Wainwright: “I best go and check.”



[We switch into the library and Syberus furiously flipping through old leather bound books, the covers in many cases cracked and worn from centuries of use or mis use. Philosophers, generals, poets, scientists, kings and queens. Works from the finest minds to ever walk the earth grace theses shelves and the answer Syberus was looking for was here somewhere.]



[He stops dead as it leaps from the page directly into his soul.]



[He flattens the page and the camera view moves over his shoulder. This book is old as time, the paper long yellowed and ragged but the ink still clear. A snake eating it's own tail. Arrows circling it in one direction and in an old gothic script, the word “good” to the left of the image and the word “bad” to the right.]



110% Syberus: “Dear God...”

“So bad...”



[His fingers trace around the image of the snake.]



110% Syberus: “That he circles back around to good”.



[It couldn't be.]







[This guy writing promos from a throne of skulls about his biker gang, like he was an AI programme auto generating shit based on e-wrestling from the 1990's.]



[This guys who's grasp of the English language makes Tum Tum look like Shakespeare.]



[This guy Syberus already beat a handful of times, and easily too, like wow that was easy Syberus thought at the time, he remembers it well.]



…



[Syberus slumps back in his chair.]



[How do you beat a guy like that?]



[How do you cut the head from the serpent with no beginning, and no end?]



[The same way Syberus beat him all those times before? Possibly. That might work.]



[Maybe the answer was in these pages somewhere... his eyes drifted down to the page again, and the image of the eternal snake of awfulness. The prophecy foretold.]



[We fade, to the image of thunder and lightning filling the sky outside a university building, and torrential rain pouring down. Annotation at the bottom of your screen reads “Malmö, Sweden”. Eerie music fills the background, it's the Bank Robbery Prologue theme from Dark Knight soundtrack.]



[The camera switches inside and we wind around a corridor to until we get to a door. The name plate on the door is clear; “Dr. R Groonigen”.]



[ A clattering can be heard from inside. The camera opens the door as if pushing through it. We don't see the body. Only the silouette of legs dangling from the ceiling, flashed by the lightning.]



[Scattered around the floor and pinned to every wall and surface are hundreds, if not thousands, though probably just hundreds, of images of the very same snake, eating the very same tail, from the book in Syberus's library.]



TO BE CONTINUED

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Up next we have ourselves a good old fashion heavyweight fight here.

Andrew Fulton: Rally Jackson and Eddie D have had quite the rivalry here of late and now these two finally get a chance to settle the score once and for all here as we honor tonight two of the very best ever to step in the ring.

Jeremy Tucker: Amen to that brother.

Andrew Fulton: We are not related, you know that right?

Jeremy Tucker: We sort of are, I did marry your sister you know! And it is a figure of speech and how long have you and I been doing this and you do not know that.

Andrew Fulton: You pee in your corn flakes today?

Jeremy Tucker: In yours.

Andrew Fulton: (spits out his coffee / whiskey) The Ultra Mega Heavyweight title is on the line in this match.

Jeremy Tucker: Indeed it is, a lot is on the line in this too, Rally as ‘locker room prankster’ has gone out of his way to target Eddie, and as one would expect, he took exception to that and here we are.

Andrew Fulton: So that is what we are calling the title these days. It was hardcore title at one time, then the technical title, then the international title. So if Eddie D walks out with the title tonight does he get to change the name on the title.

Jeremy Tucker: I do not know, I guess he does?

Andrew Fulton: I can see it now the Biker Brawl championship or something along those lines.

Jeremy Tucker: That might be trending after you just said that.

Andrew Fulton: That is great some other moron on the internet steals an idea that someone has, that has never happened before.

Jeremy Tucker: Let's get to the introductiosn for this next match.

Frank Salazar: THIS MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL AND IT IS FOR THE ULTRA MEGA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CROWD: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frank Salazar: About to make is way down to the ring he weighs in tonight at 303 pounds from Vernon, California here is EDDIE D!!!!!!!!!!!

[Cave by Muse begins to blast out over the sound system as Eddie D makes his way out we see right behind him video montage of his workouts as he steps out from behind the curtain as he makes his way down to the ring as he looks into the crowd with a look of disgust in his eyes, a few of the fans try to reach out to him but he simply pulls away. He sees a young fan with a Rally Jackson poster at ringside. He sees it as he snatches away from the young fan as he rips it right in front of them and tosses the pieces to the ground. ]

Jeremy Tucker: That was not very nice. I am sure the young fans parent paid good money for that poster.

Andrew Fulton: It was the kids fault for taunting that right in his face, maybe he has learned a lesson from this.

[Eddie D climbs the steps as he gets right into the ring. ]

Frank Salazar: And his opponent as he weighs in at 300 pounds here is your ULTRA MEGA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION HERE IS RALLY JACKSON!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hate or Glory by Gejaffelstein blares out over the sound system as Rally makes his way out on the ramp holding the title off of his broad right shoulder as he makes his way down to the ring. He comes to the young fan that is upset because of the torn poster. He looks at the young fan and nods his head as he looks into the ring as he gets to ringside as he looks right at Eddie D. He climbs the steps as he gets in the ring. He walks over to Eddie D as they are face to face. ]

Jeremy Tucker: Ah I believe they are about to get it on.

[Rally hands over the title to the ref as he holds it high over his head and the two have not taken an eye off the other. ]

Andrew Fulton: The ref is calling for the bell.

Ding.......

Jeremy Tucker: The two continue to stare at each other. Then suddenly they start to exchange with a series of blows to the other as no one is backing up. But Rally appears to be getting the upper hand as he lays in a couple of open hand chops to Eddies chest, which starts to back up the big man. Rally grabs his right arm as he is about to whip him into the ropes, but Eddie D puts on the brakes as he turns around and delivers a hard elbow to Rallys jaw.

Andrew Fulton: Eddie D gets ready to whip Rally into the ropes, but he returns the favor and connects with a knee right into Eddie D’s gut. He grabs Eddie’s right arm as he is able to whip him into the ropes, but as he tries for a hard shoulder block Eddie D just stops him right in his tracks as he can not move him. Eddie D is just smiling at him as he tells him to try it again.

Jeremy Tucker: Rally goes back into the ropes and hits Eddie D with another shoulder block but still does not move him. He tells Rally to try to again. Rally nods his head. Rally bounces off the ropes, but instead connects with a hard clothesline as it backs up Eddie D. Rally bounces off the ropes again and this time connects with another clothesline that sends Eddie D out to the floor.

Andrew Fulton: Eddie D pounds the mat as he knows Rally got one on him. Rally telling him to get back into the ring. Eddie D jumps back up on the ring apron and through the ropes. The two lock up as neither man is given an inch. They break it up as they about to lock back up once again but Eddie D kicks Rally right in the gut. He then delivers a forearm smash right to the side of Rally’s head stunning him.

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D sticks a quick right jab right into Rally’s face and another one. Eddie D gets ready to whip Rally into the ropes, but Rally counters it with a firemans carry right into a bodyslam. Rally bounces off the ropes and tries for a splash but Eddie D moves out of the way, Eddie D claps down on a rear chinlock

Andrew Fulton: Smart move here on Eddie D’s part, he lays his weight onto the neck and upper part of Rally’s body, Eddie D applying more pressure. Suddenly the two get to their feet as Rally drives in a couple of elbow shots to the ribs of Eddie forcing him to break the hold. Rally bounces off the ropes but Eddie catches him with an elbow right to Rally’s jaw dropping him to the mat. Eddie D drops an elbow right across his chest as he goes for the cover.

1

Jeremy Tucker: Rally kicks out. Eddie D pulls Rally to his feet as he drags him over to the second ropes as he begins to take his race on that rope. The ref count gets to four as he let's go but quickly places his boot across the throat of Rally as the ref once again gets to a four count before he releases the hold. Eddie D stomps right onto Rally chest.

Andrew Fulton: Rally has not gotten started at all in this match the challenger has taken charge. Eddie pulls Rally to his feet as he picks him up and hits a scoopslam on him. He quickly drops a leg right across his chest. He goes for a quick cover.

1

2

Jeremy Tucker: Rally kicks out. Eddie D pulls Rally to his feet as he tries to pick him up, for what might be an attempt at a suplex, but Rally puts on the brakes as he quickly is able to reverse it, as he hits Eddie D with a suplex instead. Rally bounces off the ropes and drops a leg onto the back of Eddie’s head. Rally begins to put the boots to Eddie D. Rally pulls Eddie D to his feet as he picks him up and hits a ribbreaker as he tries for a cover but Eddie slides underneath the bottom rope.

Andrew Fulton: Rally is going after him, as he picks Eddie D and drops him chest first into the guard rail. Rally grabs Eddie by his head and slams him face first into the steel steps. Rally lays in a few rights and lefts to Eddie D head as the big man is backing up. Rally steps back as he sees a wobble Eddie D as he races toward him to try and spear him but Eddie D sidesteps him at the last minutes as Rally goes right into the ring barrier.

Jeremy Tucker: A huge risk by Rally that did not pay off. Eddie pulls picks up Rally as he races right into the steel post with a spinebuster as the back of his head hits that post hard.

Andrew Fulton: The ref appears to be letting this one go. Rally staggers back, as Eddie D grabs a chair underneath the ring.

Jeremy Tucker: I hope Eddie realizes this is not that type of match. He can get DQ. Rally see a that he has a chair in tow, as he races toward him and catches Eddie D with a spear as it knocks him back right into the steel steps. Rally shaking off those cobwebs. He reaches down as he pulls Eddie D to his feet and tosses him into the ring, Rally slides back into the ring as he bounces off the ropes and connects with a big splash as he goes for the cover.

1

2

Andrew Fulton: Eddie D just kicks out. Rally drops to the mat and puts a bearhug on Eddie trying to squeeze the life out of him. The ref is down checking to see if Eddie D wants to give it up, he shakes him off. You can see Eddie D is in pain from Rally clinching it in even tighter. However both men are able to get back to their feet, Eddie D lays in a few elbow shots to Rally’s jaw as he releases the hold, but in a split second he pulls Eddie D back in and catches him with a belly to belly suplex. He goes for the cover.

1

2

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie just kicks out. Rally pulls Eddie D to his feet as he Irish whips him hard into a near corner he races in as he connects with a stinger splash as he slumps down in the corner. Rally looks around to the face as he lays in the stink face on Eddie D, Rally spins around and pulls him off the corner. Rally is going up to the second rope. He comes down as he is trying for the bonzai drop, but he misses.

Andrew Fulton: If he would have connected with that it might have been over. Eddie D pulls Rally to the corner as he starts to lay in some mud hole stomps as the ref steps in to break it up. Eddie D pulls Rally to his feet as he picks him up and connects with a back suplex. Eddie waits as Rally gets to his feet as he races in and catches with a kneelift driving him right out of the ring.

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie goes to the outside as he comes off the ring apron and connects with a double axehandle. He grabs Rally by his left arm as he tries to whip him into the guard rail but Rally put on the breaks as he reverses it sending him flying right into the guard rail and over it.

Andrew Fulton: Rally walks over to Eddie D who has a beer in his hand as he throws it right onto the face of Rally. He pulls him over the guard rail, as the two are going at it throwing haymakers back and forth at the other.

Jeremy Tucker: They both better keep an eye on the count. Rally starts to get the better end of the exchange as he is throwing off heavy shots that backs Eddie right into the guard rail. Rally clotheslines him back over the guardrail. Rally steps back over the guard rail, as he pulls Eddie D to his feet, he pokes a quick finger in the left eye of Rally. Eddie D slides back into the ring to break the count.

Andrew Fulton: Eddie D throw a series of right and lefts to Rally as he grabs his trunks and tosses him face first into the steel post. Eddie D pulls Rally away from the ring post as he walks over to the Spanish announce table.

Jeremy Tucker: They better get away from there.

Andrew Fulton: Eddie D kicks Rally right into the gut as he tries to pick him up for a possible powerbomb, but Rally blocks it as he backdrops Eddie D right onto the table. Rally climbs up onto the table, as he looks around to the fans as he jumps up and comes crashing down across the chest of Eddie D as the table crumbles.

Jeremy Tucker: What a move by Rally, The ref is back in the ring as he is making the count. Rally pulls himself to his feet as he slides right back into the ring as the ref continues to count.

Andrew Fulton: Rally looks like he might take the count out win. Eddie D begins to pull himself to his feet as he sees the ref making the count and he slides back into the ring. Rally pulls Eddie D to his feet as he picks him up and connects with an over the head suplex. He quickly bounces off the ropes as he connects with an earthquake splash. He goes for the cover.

1

2

Jeremy Tucker: He somehow got a shoulder up. Rally drops down and starts to lay in a few right and lefts to the head of Eddie D. Rally pulls Eddie D to his feet as he whips him into the ropes as he tries for maybe a backdrop, but Eddie counters with a swinging neckbreaker. Eddie D tries to go for the quick pin.

1

2

Andrew Fulton: Rally just kicks out. Eddie pulls him back to his feet as he picks him up and connects with a reverse atomic drop as he then bounces off the ropes and catches Rally with a big boot which drives him right back to the floor. Eddie D drops to the floor as he pulls Rally to his feet and slams his head hard into the ring post.

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D drives a hard forearm to the back of Rally’s skull, the two are coming over here.

Andrew Fulton: This is not a good thing. Eddie spins Rally around and connects with a hard left to his jaw and another hard boot to his stomach. Eddie D has an intense look in his eyes.

Jeremy Tucker: I do not like this at all.

Andrew Fulton: Eddie picks up Rally as he powerbombs him right through our table. Eddie D pulls Rally to his feet as he rolls him back into the ring. He climbs back into the ring as he goes for a cover.

1

2

Jeremy Tucker: Rally just gets his shoulder up. Eddie looks shocked as he thought he had him. He drops down to lay in some hard forearm shots to the side of Rally’s head. Eddie D pulls Rally to his feet, as he picks him up and puts him on his shoulders as he races across the ring and connects with a running Powerslam he goes for another cover.

1

2

Andrew Fulton: Rally slides his shoulder out. Eddie gets to his feet as he lays in a few boots to Rally chest. He pulls Rally to his feet as he spins him around as he locks up his massive shoulders as he tries to pick him up but Rally wiggled free, as Eddie D lays in a knee right into his kidneys. Eddie D bounces off the ropes but he gets caught with a huge boot by Rally that stuns him. Rally bounces off the ropes and connects with a massive spear sending Eddie D right through the ropes.

Jeremy Tucker: Rally drops to the floor, as he drops down and catches Eddie D with a double axehandle to the back of his head. Rally picks up Eddie D as he races toward the ring post and tosses him head first right into it. Eddie D staggers back as he grabs him by his waist as he picks him up and catches him with a release German suplex as the back of Eddie D hits the ring barrier. Rally grabs Eddie D and rolls him back into the ring.

Andrew Fulton: Rally pulls Eddie D to his feet as he picks him up and connects with a sit down powerbomb as he goes for the cover.

1

2

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D gets his shoulder up. Rally pulls Eddie back to his feet as he races into the ropes and catches him with a clothesline from hell, as he goes for the cover once again.

1

2

Andrew Fulton: Eddie D still is able to get a shoulder up. Rally drops a quick knee across the chest of Eddie D. He pulls him back up as he picks him up, as he had him over his shoulders but Eddie D slides down as he quickly wraps Rally shoulders as he picks him up and hits a full Nelson slam. He drops down for a pin.

1

2

Jeremy Tucker: Rally kicks out. Eddie D quickly pulls Rally to his feet as he tries his best to pick him up for maybe a suplex, but Rally blocks it, but Rally picks up Eddie D as he races over to a near corner and connects with the snakeyes. Rally grabs the arms of Eddie D and picks him up and connects with a full Nelson slam. He goes for the cover.

1

2

Andrew Fulton: He just kicks out. Rally drags Eddie D over to a near corner as he lays in a hard boot to the chest. He climbs the second rope, as he goes up, Eddie D gets to his feet as he catches Rally on his way down as he has him on his shoulders, but Rally slides down his back as he picks Eddie D as he spins him around and connects with a spinning powerbomb. He goes for the cover.

1

2

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D just gets a shoulder up. Rally pulls Eddie D to his feet as he picks him up and connects with a backbreaker, but picks him back up and connects with another one. Rally showing off his strength as he connects with a third one. However he pulls Eddie D to his feet as he races into the ropes.

Andrew Fulton: But out of nowhere Eddie D catches him with the Headache from Hell, but Rally does not go down as he bounces off the ropes as Eddie D catches him with one more Headache from Hell, Rally is down to a knee. Eddie D steps in and hits one more as Rally drops to the mat, he goes for the cover.

1

2

3!!!!!


Frank Salazar: THE WINNER OF THE MATCH AND NEW ULTRA MEGA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION EDDIE D!!!!!


Jeremy Tucker: He did it, he beat Rally Jackson one of the all time greats to win the championship.

Andrew Fulton: I am sure there will be some heavy drinking tonight after this hard fought win.

Jeremy Tucker: Congrats to the new champ.

Andrew Fulton: He continues to celebrate in the ring. As we must head to a commercial break.

[King Syberus]

THE CONCLUSION



…



[It's hot, and dry. We can feel that through the screen. The camera pans through dusty north african streets and arrives in the doorway of a little stoop off the side of the road. The words “Marrakech, Morrocco” appear at the bottom of the shot.]



[We switch inside and pan past assorted riff raff and reprobates in varied states of consciousness. Beautiful Moroccan women weave between them, like seriously my God let's just wait here and watch these angels for a second. They make Roxylishus look like a fucking bullfrog. Anyway carry on.]



[We finally reach the hero of the hour. Only he's not looking so heroic at present. 110% Syberus, looking one or two percents short of 110 is slumped on a pile of cushions with shisha in hand. He takes a moment to glance at the women as they walk past – he's in a slump but still has balls damnit, big balls, much bigger than Trent Jones's that's for sure.]



[He pulls his hood back over his head and is about to bring the pipe back up to his mouth when a hand places a police badge and a gun on the table in front of him. It's his badge. He recognises it instantly because it's not actually a police badge it's just a big shiny percent sign in a leather wallet.]



Syberus: “I knew you'd find me.”



Jonnie Valentine: “And I knew you'd hole yourself up here.”



Syberus: “And what's with the gun?”



Jonnie Valentine: “Hm? Oh, I just found it. Pretty cool huh? Pew Pew! Pew Pew! Heheheh...”



[Syberus finally looks up to see Jonnie decked head to toe in a linen three piece suit and brimmed hat. He looks majestic, but more pressingly he's pointing the gun right at Syberus's face still playing make believe which makes Syberus shit his pants.]



Syberus: “Sweet Jesus!”



Jonnie Valentine: “I was just being a cowboy.”



Syberus: “I'm not coming back.”



[Jonnie sighs, signals to the bar for a drink and pulls a worn out chair toward the table to sit opposite Syb.]



Waiter: “Yes?”



Jonnie Valentine: “What?”



Syberus: “You'll need to actually specify your drink.”



Jonnie Valentine: “Right, this isn't a movie. Diet Coke?”



Syberus: “I can't do it Jonnie.”



[Jonnie ignores him, takes off his hat and starts fanning himself.]



Jonnie Valentine: “I've got news. It's about Dr. Groonigen.”



[Syberus's hand freezes on the pipe.]



Syberus: “What about Dr Groonigen?”



Jonnie Valentine: “There's... been an accident.”



Syberus: “An accident?”



Jonnie Valentine: “It seems he was hanging a dummy of himself in his office as some kind of practical joke to his co workers. A little dark for my taste but that's the Swedes for you. Anyway sadly it seems he slipped when hanging the dummy and...”



Syberus: “Oh God! Ironically hung himself?!”



Jonnie Valentine: “What? Good Lord no. He bonked his head on his mini fridge and has a concussion. But he's out of action for the forseeable. I'm afraid you'll be calculating your own percents for the championship match against Trent Jones.”



[Syberus peers up from under his hood with darkened eyes.]



Syberus: “There's not gonna be a championship match against Trent Jones.”



Jonnie Valentine: “Let's not get in that headspace again”.



Syberus: “The serpent with no end...”



Jonnie Valentine: “Yeah actually you left me a voicemail, something about a snake, a bunch of jargon and you trailed off hence I assumed we were back in Marrakech.”



[The waiter brings Jonnie over a clearly warm glass of diet coke that's half full. Jonnie politely smiles and just looks at it in his hand as he continues.]



Jonnie Valentine: “Syberus there's no such thing as someone so bad that they're good. You do realise that's nonsense right? Trent Jones is the worst champion, nay the worst wrestler that I think either of us has ever seen – that part is true – but cycling all the way back to good? No.”



[He goes to drink the diet coke but thinks better of it, just puts it on the table and pushes it away.]



Syberus: “Trent knows no fear.”



Jonnie Valentine: “Because he's a big stupid idiot”.



Syberus: “Because he knows he's too awful for me to beat”.



Jonnie Valentine: “Noooo, because he's a big stupid idiot”.



“Trent doesn't understand the leagues between you and him. Trent is oblivious. And since when have you payed attention to anything Trent says anyway? You didn't actually read his promo did you? You know you're just supposed to skim it until you think you see your name.”



Syberus: “I... may have.”



Jonnie Valentine: “Well there's your problem! Awful mistake if you ask me.”



[The first flicker of relent appears on Syberus's face.]



Syberus: “Without Groonigen I'm going in blind.”



Jonnie Valentine: “Then shoot from the hip! Just like a cowboy would.”



[He reaches for the gun again.]



Syberus: “No!”



Jonnie Valentine: “You're right, I should really turn this in to the authorities.”



[There's a pause as Syberus looks around himself, realising what he's become. He throws down the shisha and pulls down his hood.]



Syberus: “You know what?”



“You're right!”



“What the fuck am I doing?”



Jonnie Valentine: “Hell if I know. That should be around your family crest in latin at this point. Look at the state of you”.



Syberus: “Trent thinks I need to be at 150% to beat him?”



[Jonnie holds up a finger.]



Jonnie Valentine: “Actually he said “to get close”.”



Syberus: “I'm 110% Syberus! The highest percenter in SWAT!”



Jonnie Valentine: “That you are. Except Sal the janitor. No one comes close to Sal.”



Syberus: “Well yeah, the guy's a saint. 55 years of service. But apart from Sal.”



[No one remember SWAT is only 15 years old and the joke is good. Syberus gets up and starts to pace.]



Syberus: “Trent Jones? Hahah! Laughable! I'm gonna beat that guy's face in with his own face!”



Jonnie Valentine: “Not really sure how that works physically but I like this energy.”



Syberus: “Trent Jones! I literally can't think of a guy so undeserving of a world title. Reel off the names that you'd put before him in the pecking order. El Combatiente? Lunchbox Larry? Alex Turner? Frostbite... probably? I guess?”



[Jonnie does a “so so” motion with his hand.]



Syberus: “Alright there's a few grey areas but we can all agree this guy walking around with the Heavyweight Championship of the World is an absolute travesty.”



“So let's put it right.”



Jonnie Valentine: “That's the spirit! Now let's get out of here.”



Syberus: “Yes! Let's take these beautiful Moroccan whores and get out of here.”



Jonnie Valentine: “Uh, so these girls are...?”



Syberus: “Oh very much so, yes.”



“150%?”



“I call bullshit.”



“I could beat Trent Jones on my death bed. I could beat Trent Jones with half my percents left at home jacking off to fake porn of Mary Steenburgen.”



“It's time, Jonnie. It's time we really do close the circle on this piece of shit. Shatter the brothers of anarchy, once again assuming that's their name, and toss that son of a bitch back down the card to opening the show in dance offs with Rajiv Khan.”



“I've already pinned the cunt. I've beaten him and Eddie D so many times they have flashbacks of their step dads kicking off their whole childhood trauma that made them the garbage humans they are. Only thing I don't have is the belt.”



Jonnie Valentine: “So let's get the belt.”



[Syberus places his hand on Jonnie's shoulder.]



Syberus: “So let's get the belt.”



[ A nice moment is shared before Jonnie breaks the silence.]



Jonnie Valentine: “But please don't run away to Morocco again, I fucking hate this place.”



Syberus: “Me too. Except... you know...”



Jonnie Valentine: “The whores.”



Syberus: “The whores, yeah.”



[On that note, we close as Jonnie wipes his prints off the gun and just leaves it behind.]