Post by Steve Awesome on Aug 5, 2020 23:06:53 GMT -5
Coming soon to the Steve Awesome Network. The first full length “Wacky Adventure” to be played in full.
AWESOMELY BUENO
Setup: It is November 2017. IWF. A simpler time. Steve Awesome fought valiantly to save his girlfriend Mandi Matthews from a man named Xavier Cross. Steve thwarted Xaviers plans for an evil wedding with Mandi and then officially married her himself in the middle of the ring.
Soon after the newlyweds dashed away on a fun filled first class honeymoon. It was planned so perfectly that there is no way it could be ruined.
Enter something not very…..Bueno.
Meet El Grande Malo.
Will Steve Awesome make it to his honeymoon? Or will El Grande Malo have something to say about it?
Find out....RIGHT NOW
Mandi Matthews-Bates: I’m so glad we decided to get some food before the flight. I’m starving.
{Steve Awesome and Mandi Matthews come walking in hand and hand into a fancy restaurant. It was kind of like one of the sizzlers with all the stupid crap all over the walls and stuff.}
Steve Awesome: I figure we got some time before our really long flight to our super amazing honeymoon. May as well get us some grub before we’re stuck eating plane food. Get us a table, babe. I’m going to go take a wiz. Love you.”
{She nods and he gives her a quick smooch before he takes off toward the restroom. Inside Steve quickly spots the five urinals attached to the wall and he instinctively chooses the last one on the left. Moments later another man enters the restroom and awkwardly takes the urinal directly next to Steve.}
“Aren’t you Steve Awesome?”
{Awesome can feel the eyes staring at him through the back of his head.}
Steve Awesome: Look man, now’s not really a good time for-
{Steve knew that mask anywhere.}
Steve Awesome: el Grandé Malo?
El Grande Malo: Si. Si. How is you me amigo?
{Malo...erm...takes one hand off the wheel and offers that hand for a shake.}
El Grande Malo: Malo is offering the shake of hands. Many respects to Awesome man who wears sunglasses indoors.
{Steve glances at the tainted hand and he looked down at the fact he was still urinating.}
Steve Awesome: Can it maybe wait like a minute or two?
El Grande Malo: Si. Si.
{Malo leans over.}
El Grande Malo: Malo can see why you is good with the chi chi’s.
{Malo gives him an impressed nod. Steve realizes what he meant and quickly puts everything away and awkwardly steps back from the urinal. }
Steve Awesome: Hey come on now! What are you even doing here anyway?
{Malo finishes up not soon after.}
El Grande Malo: Malo is doing the tasting of the culture. Fine americano dishes. The burnt steak and dry potato.
{Malo rubs his tummy. Awesome quickly heads over to the sink to wash his hands.}
Steve Awesome: Well that’s cool. Whatever, I don’t really care. Look I’m gonna let you get back to all that okay Malo? And I’m gonna go back to my thing without you. We can probably talk at like work or something. My wife and I are going on honeymoon and-“
{Malo’s eyes light up with glee behind the mask.}
El Grande Malo: Honeymoon? Is you saying the honeymoon? That is wonderful news. It is long standing tradition in Malo’s family that Malo must personally congratulate the bride.
{Steve shakes his head. He immediately declined the offer.}
Steve Awesome: No, no that’s not necessary. You don’t have to....
El Grande Malo: No, Malo must congratulate bride.
{Malo starts to follow Steve out the door when he suddenly points at the sinks.}
Steve Awesome: You didn’t wash your hands!
{Malo realizes he’s right and turns back toward the sink}
{Awesome comes rushing back to the table where Mandi was and he starts dropping cash on the table and he starts grabbing his jacket and he tossed Mandi hers.}
Steve Awesome: C’mon babe. We gotta get out of here! Quick!
Mandi Matthews-Bates: What!? What is going on!?
{Steve throws a few more dollars on the table.}
Steve Awesome: There That should cover the sodas. We gotta bounce!
{Mandi starts scooting out of the booth when she suddenly stops.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: No wait...I got cheese sticks on the way.
{Steve throws an extra ten on the table.}
Steve Awesome: Okay lets go.
Mandi Matthews-Bates: But babe, I really wanted those cheese sticks. They are handcrafted.
Mandi licks her lips in anticipation of the appetizer. Steve groans and nervously looks over toward the bathroom.
Steve Awesome: Can’t you just let them go? If he see’s us, he will come over here.
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Who will?
{Steve gasps and ducks down toward the floor.}
Steve Awesome: Oh man! I think he just saw me, quick babe, get under the table!
Mandi Matthews-Bates: What? Why?
Steve Awesome: Will you just…
{He drags her down under the table and they hide behind the long tablecloth.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Steve will you please tell me what’s going on?
Steve Awesome: Let’s just hope he didn’t see us. If he see’s us or figured out we’re here we’re doomed. So just be quiet and-
Waiter: I got an order of cheese sticks?
{Mandi pokes her head out from under the table cloth.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Down here!
El Grande Malo: Hola Amigos!
{Suddenly El Grande Malo’s head pops in through the tablecloth.}
Steve Awesome: AH COME ON!?
{Steve just facepalms as Malo squeezes in with them under the table.}
El Grande Malo: You must be the bride that is blushing.
{Mandi nods and shows off the ring.}
El Grande Malo: Malo is happy for his new amigo and amiga. Malo not have many amigos since old friend go missing.
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Oh no, you lost your friend?
El Grande Malo: Old friend Zasshu. He take Lucha mask off and now it’s like he’s whole new person. Say, you guys will be Malo’s new amigos?
{Steve starts shaking his head trying to will Mandi to say no but of course she smiles and nods her head.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Of course we will.
El Grande Malo: Bueno! …...uh...Malo is wondering why you is under the table.
{Mandi nods her head.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Mandi is wondering the same thing.
{Mandi and Malo both turn and look at Steve.}
Steve Awesome: Well contrary to popular belief you are not the only one that can work under the table.
{Steve thinks he’s pretty clever but Malo doesn’t seem to get the joke and Mandi is glaring at him from the other side of the table.}
Steve Awesome: Okay listen, there is a perfectly good explanation for all of this. Really good story. One that you-
{He points to Mandi.}
Steve Awesome: will hear in the car. And you-
{He points to Malo.}
Steve Awesome: will hear the next time I see you. Which will probably be never, if I can help it. But look at the time.”
El Grande Malo: You is not wearing no watch.
{Steve ignores that fact and continues.}
Steve Awesome: We’d love to stay under this table and chat but we will miss our flight out. Come on Mandi let’s go.
{They all start to crawl out from under the table and Malo starts to follow them out.}
El Grande Malo: It was nice meeting you. Maybe text Malo-
Steve Awesome: Nope.
El Grande Malo: Facebook-
Steve Awesome: Nope.
El Grande Malo: Twitter-
Steve Awesome: Nope.
El Grande Malo: Snapchat.
{They get to the front door.}
Steve Awesome: Nope. Have a nice day.
{And with that Steve Awesome and Mandi walk out of the restaurant leaving Malo behind.}
El Grande Malo: Nice people. Malo likes new amigos.
{Suddenly the waiter comes running up to the door.}
Waiter: Hey somebody dropped some envelope. Looks like it has plane tickets in it.
{Malo completely ignores the commotion behind him as he watched Steve and Mandi drive away.}
In the car, Steve drives and Mandi watches the road from the passenger seat.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: I guess that seems pretty annoying now that you put it that way. But I think Malo means well.
{Steve shrugs his shoulder in the driver's seat.}
Steve Awesome: Yeah well, I’m just glad that’s over. We can go, get on our first class trip to our honeymoon and we never have to deal with Malo again…”
{Cue Always Sunny Music.}
“Steve Awesome and El Grande Malo in…..
An Awesomely Bueno Adventure!!”
AWESOMELY BUENO
Setup: It is November 2017. IWF. A simpler time. Steve Awesome fought valiantly to save his girlfriend Mandi Matthews from a man named Xavier Cross. Steve thwarted Xaviers plans for an evil wedding with Mandi and then officially married her himself in the middle of the ring.
Soon after the newlyweds dashed away on a fun filled first class honeymoon. It was planned so perfectly that there is no way it could be ruined.
Enter something not very…..Bueno.
Meet El Grande Malo.
Name: El Grande Malo
Nickname: the Pride of Mexico
DOB: 3/17/1990
Hometown: Mexico, Maine
Height: 6' 1"
Weight: 205 lbs.
Alignment: Face
Theme Music: "Ole" - Bouncing Souls
Biography: El Grandé Malo has been training since he was eleven years old (2001). His journey began with beginnings. It was in the small makeshift gymnasium in his family barn that he first learned the art of lucha libre and earned his first mask. Under the moniker of Hijo Último, he made his way through the small independent circuits surrounding Mexico. But, being Maine, it didn’t take long for him to exhaust these promotions and begin to look elsewhere, even beyond the borders of the Pine Tree State and ply his trade in White City, Saskatchewan. There he trained under one of the greatest masked wrestlers in the country, El Grandé Chinook! Under his tutelage, Hijo Último soared to new heights and was rechristened Chinook Jr. and received a new mask to go along with this honor.
Chinook Jr kept this name as he wrestled in such famous companies as the Canadian Championship Wrestling [CCW] sister company; International Canadian Underground Premier. He spent three years with ICUP before making the decision to continue his training elsewhere.
He made his way through Texas doing odd jobs and training with men like, Mac Bane during the day while wrestling drunk cattle ranchers at night. All in the hopes of makIng enough money to hire a guide to help sneak him across the border and into Mexico; even though he was assured that it was only illegal the other way around. He spent the next five years like a masked nomad, traveling from small town to small town and learning from the village elders the ways of the true lucha libre until he emerged a new man …
El Grandé Malo
A man who has now returned to the East Coast to bring his eclectic and eccentric style to a new group of men and women.
Nickname: the Pride of Mexico
DOB: 3/17/1990
Hometown: Mexico, Maine
Height: 6' 1"
Weight: 205 lbs.
Alignment: Face
Theme Music: "Ole" - Bouncing Souls
Biography: El Grandé Malo has been training since he was eleven years old (2001). His journey began with beginnings. It was in the small makeshift gymnasium in his family barn that he first learned the art of lucha libre and earned his first mask. Under the moniker of Hijo Último, he made his way through the small independent circuits surrounding Mexico. But, being Maine, it didn’t take long for him to exhaust these promotions and begin to look elsewhere, even beyond the borders of the Pine Tree State and ply his trade in White City, Saskatchewan. There he trained under one of the greatest masked wrestlers in the country, El Grandé Chinook! Under his tutelage, Hijo Último soared to new heights and was rechristened Chinook Jr. and received a new mask to go along with this honor.
Chinook Jr kept this name as he wrestled in such famous companies as the Canadian Championship Wrestling [CCW] sister company; International Canadian Underground Premier. He spent three years with ICUP before making the decision to continue his training elsewhere.
He made his way through Texas doing odd jobs and training with men like, Mac Bane during the day while wrestling drunk cattle ranchers at night. All in the hopes of makIng enough money to hire a guide to help sneak him across the border and into Mexico; even though he was assured that it was only illegal the other way around. He spent the next five years like a masked nomad, traveling from small town to small town and learning from the village elders the ways of the true lucha libre until he emerged a new man …
El Grandé Malo
A man who has now returned to the East Coast to bring his eclectic and eccentric style to a new group of men and women.
Will Steve Awesome make it to his honeymoon? Or will El Grande Malo have something to say about it?
Find out....RIGHT NOW
Mandi Matthews-Bates: I’m so glad we decided to get some food before the flight. I’m starving.
{Steve Awesome and Mandi Matthews come walking in hand and hand into a fancy restaurant. It was kind of like one of the sizzlers with all the stupid crap all over the walls and stuff.}
Steve Awesome: I figure we got some time before our really long flight to our super amazing honeymoon. May as well get us some grub before we’re stuck eating plane food. Get us a table, babe. I’m going to go take a wiz. Love you.”
{She nods and he gives her a quick smooch before he takes off toward the restroom. Inside Steve quickly spots the five urinals attached to the wall and he instinctively chooses the last one on the left. Moments later another man enters the restroom and awkwardly takes the urinal directly next to Steve.}
“Aren’t you Steve Awesome?”
{Awesome can feel the eyes staring at him through the back of his head.}
Steve Awesome: Look man, now’s not really a good time for-
{Steve knew that mask anywhere.}
Steve Awesome: el Grandé Malo?
El Grande Malo: Si. Si. How is you me amigo?
{Malo...erm...takes one hand off the wheel and offers that hand for a shake.}
El Grande Malo: Malo is offering the shake of hands. Many respects to Awesome man who wears sunglasses indoors.
{Steve glances at the tainted hand and he looked down at the fact he was still urinating.}
Steve Awesome: Can it maybe wait like a minute or two?
El Grande Malo: Si. Si.
{Malo leans over.}
El Grande Malo: Malo can see why you is good with the chi chi’s.
{Malo gives him an impressed nod. Steve realizes what he meant and quickly puts everything away and awkwardly steps back from the urinal. }
Steve Awesome: Hey come on now! What are you even doing here anyway?
{Malo finishes up not soon after.}
El Grande Malo: Malo is doing the tasting of the culture. Fine americano dishes. The burnt steak and dry potato.
{Malo rubs his tummy. Awesome quickly heads over to the sink to wash his hands.}
Steve Awesome: Well that’s cool. Whatever, I don’t really care. Look I’m gonna let you get back to all that okay Malo? And I’m gonna go back to my thing without you. We can probably talk at like work or something. My wife and I are going on honeymoon and-“
{Malo’s eyes light up with glee behind the mask.}
El Grande Malo: Honeymoon? Is you saying the honeymoon? That is wonderful news. It is long standing tradition in Malo’s family that Malo must personally congratulate the bride.
{Steve shakes his head. He immediately declined the offer.}
Steve Awesome: No, no that’s not necessary. You don’t have to....
El Grande Malo: No, Malo must congratulate bride.
{Malo starts to follow Steve out the door when he suddenly points at the sinks.}
Steve Awesome: You didn’t wash your hands!
{Malo realizes he’s right and turns back toward the sink}
{Awesome comes rushing back to the table where Mandi was and he starts dropping cash on the table and he starts grabbing his jacket and he tossed Mandi hers.}
Steve Awesome: C’mon babe. We gotta get out of here! Quick!
Mandi Matthews-Bates: What!? What is going on!?
{Steve throws a few more dollars on the table.}
Steve Awesome: There That should cover the sodas. We gotta bounce!
{Mandi starts scooting out of the booth when she suddenly stops.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: No wait...I got cheese sticks on the way.
{Steve throws an extra ten on the table.}
Steve Awesome: Okay lets go.
Mandi Matthews-Bates: But babe, I really wanted those cheese sticks. They are handcrafted.
Mandi licks her lips in anticipation of the appetizer. Steve groans and nervously looks over toward the bathroom.
Steve Awesome: Can’t you just let them go? If he see’s us, he will come over here.
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Who will?
{Steve gasps and ducks down toward the floor.}
Steve Awesome: Oh man! I think he just saw me, quick babe, get under the table!
Mandi Matthews-Bates: What? Why?
Steve Awesome: Will you just…
{He drags her down under the table and they hide behind the long tablecloth.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Steve will you please tell me what’s going on?
Steve Awesome: Let’s just hope he didn’t see us. If he see’s us or figured out we’re here we’re doomed. So just be quiet and-
Waiter: I got an order of cheese sticks?
{Mandi pokes her head out from under the table cloth.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Down here!
El Grande Malo: Hola Amigos!
{Suddenly El Grande Malo’s head pops in through the tablecloth.}
Steve Awesome: AH COME ON!?
{Steve just facepalms as Malo squeezes in with them under the table.}
El Grande Malo: You must be the bride that is blushing.
{Mandi nods and shows off the ring.}
El Grande Malo: Malo is happy for his new amigo and amiga. Malo not have many amigos since old friend go missing.
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Oh no, you lost your friend?
El Grande Malo: Old friend Zasshu. He take Lucha mask off and now it’s like he’s whole new person. Say, you guys will be Malo’s new amigos?
{Steve starts shaking his head trying to will Mandi to say no but of course she smiles and nods her head.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Of course we will.
El Grande Malo: Bueno! …...uh...Malo is wondering why you is under the table.
{Mandi nods her head.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: Mandi is wondering the same thing.
{Mandi and Malo both turn and look at Steve.}
Steve Awesome: Well contrary to popular belief you are not the only one that can work under the table.
{Steve thinks he’s pretty clever but Malo doesn’t seem to get the joke and Mandi is glaring at him from the other side of the table.}
Steve Awesome: Okay listen, there is a perfectly good explanation for all of this. Really good story. One that you-
{He points to Mandi.}
Steve Awesome: will hear in the car. And you-
{He points to Malo.}
Steve Awesome: will hear the next time I see you. Which will probably be never, if I can help it. But look at the time.”
El Grande Malo: You is not wearing no watch.
{Steve ignores that fact and continues.}
Steve Awesome: We’d love to stay under this table and chat but we will miss our flight out. Come on Mandi let’s go.
{They all start to crawl out from under the table and Malo starts to follow them out.}
El Grande Malo: It was nice meeting you. Maybe text Malo-
Steve Awesome: Nope.
El Grande Malo: Facebook-
Steve Awesome: Nope.
El Grande Malo: Twitter-
Steve Awesome: Nope.
El Grande Malo: Snapchat.
{They get to the front door.}
Steve Awesome: Nope. Have a nice day.
{And with that Steve Awesome and Mandi walk out of the restaurant leaving Malo behind.}
El Grande Malo: Nice people. Malo likes new amigos.
{Suddenly the waiter comes running up to the door.}
Waiter: Hey somebody dropped some envelope. Looks like it has plane tickets in it.
{Malo completely ignores the commotion behind him as he watched Steve and Mandi drive away.}
In the car, Steve drives and Mandi watches the road from the passenger seat.}
Mandi Matthews-Bates: I guess that seems pretty annoying now that you put it that way. But I think Malo means well.
{Steve shrugs his shoulder in the driver's seat.}
Steve Awesome: Yeah well, I’m just glad that’s over. We can go, get on our first class trip to our honeymoon and we never have to deal with Malo again…”
{Cue Always Sunny Music.}
“Steve Awesome and El Grande Malo in…..
An Awesomely Bueno Adventure!!”