..::THE XHF NETWORK PRESENTS: ALL THAT GLITTERS::..
Aug 30, 2020 14:12:15 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Venom 🕷, and 8 more like this
Post by Dave D-Flipz on Aug 30, 2020 14:12:15 GMT -5
The XHF Network Proudly Presents: All That Glitters
Date: August 30th, 2020
The Sky Stadium, Wellington, New Zealand
Capacity: 34,500
Attendance: 10,000 (Masks required)
"All Star" by Smash Mouth begins playing as people stand out by the stands and fire golden glitter into the air over the masked crowd.
Hawke: Welcome to All That Glitters as presented by the XHF Network! I'm Joey Hawke and sitting next to me is-
King: Jerry "the King" Lawler!
Hawke: We have an exciting show for you tonight. A lot of hot, hot interfederation action.
King: Some intercompany love going on tonight!
Hawke: We begin the night with Wellington Dunne taking on Kono of the Dark Stars.
King: Poor, poor Wellington Dunne.
Hawke: Hey, Dunne is a great wrestler!
King: I suppose this is true.
Hawke: And then we continue the night as "Awkward" Adam Sanders takes on Niko of the Dark Stars.
King: I heard that Adam did real well in the battle royal in AWF to be able to choose his own partner for Fired Up. Did real well, but he did lose.
Hawke: Should be an interesting match up. Then, we have Guillotina against Lynx. I heard that Lynx formed a tag team with Gordon Carlson.
King: Right? Tag Team titles there they go!
Hawke: And then we get Mistress Discipline against "Timeless" Alex Turner.
King: Wow. I like Mistress Discipline, but I really expected more black leather and whips with a name like that. More BDSM and less Librarian on a Power Trip.
Hawke: You wouldn't know what to do if she was all dominatrix.
King: Just as an aside, you think that Commandtrix is a dominatrix? I mean, it's sort of in the name.
Hawke: I just don't think so. After that exciting match, we will have the Dirty Duo consisting of Rat Bastard and Greg Adkins against the Purple Emperors which is Radu Matei and Anthony Caffrey.
King: Do Rat Bastard and Greg Adkins even like each other enough to tag up for this match?
Hawke: I'm sure that they can bury the hatchet long enough to take on Caffrey and Matei.
King: Yeah. I mean they are cut from the same cloth.
Hawke: Next up on the card is Maverick taking on El Combatiente.
King: Isn't El Combatiente just Venom with a mask?
Hawke: I don't think that's the case anymore. I think that he's his own man now.
King: Oh right. This should be good then to see Maverick wipe the floor with the SWAT TV championship. The gimmie title.
Hawke: The gimmie title? The title that will become the workhorse title of the place to be defended at every show.
King: Isn't EVERY title defended on every show?
Hawke: Nope. Moving on, we have SKY Force taking on Desolation for the XHF Global Tag Team Titles!
King: I heard it was Nausicaa Suzuki and her stuffed doll, Charles, doing this match.
Hawke: Yeah.
King: This match is going to be a massacre.
Hawke: I think that the match will be more even than you think. Suzuki can be full of surprises.
King: Yeah, yeah.
Hawke: This brings us to the main event of the evening as Dylan Black takes on Ron Arnold for the X*Crown!
King: That's going to be a heck of a match. Isn't Dylan like a cyborg or some shit now? Arms and leg all robotic, cybernetic, mechanical, or some shit.
Hawke: I heard that the term is cybernetic. This will be a main event talked about for years to come I think. Anyway! It looks like everything is set up to go and we're ready to start our first match!
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger, weighing in at two hundred and eighty-four pounds...Wellington Dunne!
"Funeral for a Son" by The Protomen begins playing as Wellington Dunne walks out from the back. The crowd cheering him as he stands at the entrance stage to take it all in. He makes his way down to the ring.
Hawke: Dunne is representing Destiny Wrestling tonight.
King: It'll be his destiny to come out tonight as a winner.
Hawke: A little on the nose isn't that?
King: No. A little on the nose would be talking about how Wellington Dunne is going to charge through this match.
Hawke: Alright.
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds, he is a part of the Dark Stars...Kono!
"Bloodline" by Slayer plays and the tron shows a spinning graphic which turns into Kono who sled into the ring by Commandrix. They march down to ringside as lasers shoot upwards with ominous and murderous expressionism both their eyes and facial expressions. When Kono lests Commandrix into the ring, he climbs to the top turnbuckle and shoots his futuristic style staff into the air, roaring as he does a high flying backflip into the ring into a fighting crouch. He removes his futuristic style gladiator armor and places his staff into the corner as Commandrix gives him instructions. Both still have the same looks and expressions that are ominous and filled with murder.
King: Kono and Commandrix look like they're going to kill someone. You sure that he should be allowed in the ring with Wellington Dunne? What if that staff comes into play?
Hawke: Then, he'll be disqualified. If he murders Dunne then he will go to a non-futuristic jail.
King: So, we're just okay with reacting instead of heading this off at the pass. Alright. I'm going to blame Mongo.
Hawke: Probably for the best.
Interfed Challenge
Wellington Dunne vs Kono
Kono walks to the middle of the ring, going nearly nose to chin with Wellington Dunne. He raises his hands into the air, challenging Dunne to a test of strength. Wellington looks at the man like he's a bit on the crazy side, accepting with one hand. He cautiously accepts with the other hand, both men going right into pressing against one another to try to get the advantage early on. Kono presses hard against Wellington Dunne, pressed chest to chest to try to put him down, but Wellington's greater size and strength proves to be too much for Kono as he drives Kono down to his knees. Wellington looks to the cheering crowd, looking like he might boot Kono to the chest. Kono takes advantage of the distraction, headbutting Wellington in the nuts in a move that breaks the test of strength. Kono lunges to his feet, hitting a double axe handle uppercut that sends Wellington flying backwards to the mat. Kono starts for Wellington to continue his offensive, but Wellington rolls to his feet.
King: Kono with the advantage early on.
Hawke: Cheap shot early on you mean.
King: Whatever shape the advantage takes is good.
Wellington charges at Kono, taking him down with a shoulder. Kono hops right back up to his feet while Wellington goes for the ropes. On the rebound, Wellington knocks Kono down again. Kono bounces up again, this time with Wellington behind him. He grabs Kono and hurls him to the mat with a German suplex! Kono hits the mat hard enough that he bounces into a reverse somersault.
King: What power!
Hawke: Why isn't there a French suplex?
King: What? You been watching the GUN Show?
Hawke: I was on it?
King: If there is a French suplex, I bet it's a self defeating submission hold…
Hawke: Racist are we?
King: No, just me.
Wellington gets Kono up to his knees where Kono hits a mighty punch to Wellington's thigh? The massive Charlie horse staggers Wellington back a few steps where Kono jumps to his feet. He works over Wellington with several Muay Thai strikes and kicks, eventually working his way behind Wellington where he hits several brutal kidney punches. Wellington Dunne doesn't fall from these strikes, but it looks like not much is holding him up. At least until Kono goes for a spinning ranium kick to the head that Wellington ducks under. As soon as Kono's feet hit the mat, Wellington hits a spear that nearly takes Kono out of his boots! Wellington gets to his feet, runs to the ropes, and comes back with a bodysplash! He hooks the leg for the cover!
One
Tw-Kono kicks out!
Wellington stands up, watching as Kono rolls away to his feet. He grabs Kono and whips him into the corner. He follows this up with a quick avalanche! He steps back, hitting several chops that the crowd "Woos" alongside. He reaches for Kono to get him up onto the turnbuckle, but Kono kicks him in the gut and then uses the corner as leverage to raise both knees for a double knee lift! Kono hops up to the top rope as Wellington staggers backwards and hits a Patriot missile drop kick! Kono goes for the pinfall!
One
Two
T-Wellington kicks out!
King: Kono hasn't done enough to put Wellington away quite yet.
Hawke: He looks to remedy that.
Kono jumps to his feet and starts unleashing a can of whoop ass on Wellington. Just working him over with kicks and stomps.
Kono: DEATH AND BLOOD FOR THE GLORY OF SHAAKAR! DEATH TO THOSE WHO ARE WEAK!
Hawke: The heck?
King: I don't know. He's weird.
Kono starts to pull Wellington up, but gets yanked down into a jawbreaker! Wellington gets up as Kono quickly starts to rise and follow. Wellington springboards out of the corner into hitting a cutter!
Hawke: Wellington with the Scottish Face Breaker!
King: I bet Kono is eating his weird words now.
Wellington gets Kono up into a fireman's carry, but before he can do anything else, Kono turns it into a crucifix cradle for the pinfall!
One
Two
Three!
Hawke: Kono with a come from behind win!
King: Sneaky, sneaky.
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of the match via pinfall...Kono!
Kono celebrates his win in the middle of the ring with Commandrix as Wellington Dunne makes his way to the back.
At the craft tables backstage, Rat Bastard and "Guttertrash" Greg Adkins are filling their plates up with different foods. Clearly, they are taking their upcoming match with Anthony Caffrey and Radu Matei very seriously.
Bastard: This is some good spread, Greg. Almost as good as your mom.
Greg raises an eyebrow, looking over at Rat Bastard.
Adkins: Knock it the fuck off, man.
Rat Bastard slops some cheese sauce on some french fries with a laugh.
Bastard: I think we established that I'm your real daddy and not that druggie dead beat.
Adkins: You are not my dad! And, don't talk shit about my dad!
Bastard: Are we going to team up up or what? You'll have to develop some thicker skin about things, because your fake ass daddy was a dead beat that just dropped some baby gravy into your momma that didn't really stick. Luke...I'm your real father!
Adkins: No!
Bastard: We can go 'round and 'round all day if you like. The sooner you accept the truth, the sooner we can kick ass in the ring. I'm your real daddy! You just ain't getting any back child support.
Adkins: Fuck you!
Greg throws his plate down onto the table, runs across the room, and hits a spear that sends Rat Bastard to the floor and his plate sailing through the air where it slams into the wall. Greg lays into Rat Bastard with lefts and rights. Rat Bastard kicks Greg Adkins away and jumps to his feet.
Bastard: You wanna do this shit now?
Adkins: Let's do it!
Rat Bastard grabs Greg by the shoulders and delivers a stunning headbutt. Greg roars and delivers one of his own with a savage yell. Rat Bastard curses and delivers another headbutt that breaks Greg's nose. He throws Greg onto the craft table, knocking down a lot of food in the process. Greg Adkins sits up on the table, looking around to see where Rat Bastard is. Rat slams the metal container with the fries across Greg's head with blood flying from the wound created in Greg's temple. Greg lays back, stunned. Rat Bastard pours hot cheese sauce onto Greg's face. Greg sits up, spitting the cheese sauce back into Rat's face. He swings his legs out, kicking Rat in the chest. Greg grabs a nearby item, a plastic fork, and jams it into the left side of Rat's chest. The pines of the fork penetrate skin and break off.
Adkins: Fuck you!
Bastard: No, fuck you!
Greg reaches back as Rat charges. Greg slaps Rat with a handful of roast beef. Which stops Rat in his tracks long enough for Greg to kick him in the nuts. Greg picks Rat Bastard up and powerslams him onto the table portion that Greg had cleared earlier. The table gives from their combined weight and both men collapse to the floor with the table.
Adkins: You want to know how I feel about the loss of my REAL father, mother fucker? This is how I feel!
Greg bites at the stitches on his right wrist, tearing them out. He holds the arm over Rat Bastard's face, bleeding all over him. Rat Bastard shoves Greg off of him and both stand up.
Adkins: I'll fucking kill you!
Bastard: That's my line!
Rat Bastard clotheslines Greg Adkins to the floor. He stomps at Greg's chest and face a few times before Greg catches a foot and twists it to bring Rat Bastard down. Greg Adkins gets up and kicks a rising Rat Bastard right in the face, sending blood splattering across the floor. Security rush into the room, grabbing Greg Adkins and the rising Rat Bastard to keep them from one another. Rat bleeding from the face and Greg also bleeding from the face and right wrist. They are dragged to opposite sides of the room where they can look at each other properly.
Bastard: Look, Greg. Maybe I overstepped here. I shouldn't have trash talked your dad. I'm, I'm sorry.
Adkins: It's fine. I should get with the concept that maybe my dad wasn't a good man. He did create a drug empire that he did sell to the Warhammer Corporation.
Bastard: Really? I thought Caffrey was talking out his ass. He really was a scumbag wasn't he?
Greg sighs, looking as one of the security guards put pressure on his bleeding wrist.
Adkins: He had changed before the end, but that doesn't change the fact that he did create new drugs and people did die. I'm sorry.
Bastard: Shall we put this behind us and kick some ass? After we get patched up that is.
EMTs arrive on the scene once Rat Bastard and Greg Adkins have calmed their fighting to redo some of Greg's stitching and generally patch them up so they can wrestle.
The drum fill followed by the opening guitar riff for the title track off the fourth studio album by Canadian punk band Sum 41 begins to blare on the Ascension PA system. The fans begin to cheer as the lights go dark and a single spotlight appears on the ramp. The rest of the band joins the guitar as Adam Sanders emerges behind the curtain. The fans give the Awkward One loud cheers as the spotlight follows his trek towards the ring.
Bonnie Jenkins: From Grand Rapids, Michigan, weighing in at two hundred forty pounds, he is the Awkward One… ADAM SANDERS!!
"Well, I won’t be caught living in a dead end job
While praying to my government guns and gods
Now it’s us against them, we’re here to represent
And spit right in the face of the establishment!"
While praying to my government guns and gods
Now it’s us against them, we’re here to represent
And spit right in the face of the establishment!"
Sanders walks up the stairs, walks down the apron a bit and puts both arms in the air. The fans continue to give loud cheers for the WCG competitor as he steps between the top and middle rope to enter the ring. He steps on the opposite turnbuckle, the chorus of the song becomes the backdrop for him to hop back into the ring.
Hawke: So Adam Sanders comes here representing AWF in this match.
King: I'm surprised that he would say that he represents AWF instead of some other fed.
Hawke: Why would he lie?
King: I would be ashamed.
Hawke: Why is there anything to be ashamed of? AWF is still one of the top feds in the XHF Network!
King: But no longer the top network.
Hawke: Good enough that they might be needing a roster cap soon.
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent hailing from the Future and weighing in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds...he is a part of the Dark Stars, Niko!
"Sixes and Sevens" by Annihilator plays and the tron shows spinning graphics of figures that turns into Niko who is led out to the ring by Commandrix. They march out to ringside with ominous and murderous looks in their eyes and in their expressions as lasers shoot upwards. When they reach the ring Niko holds the ropes open for Commandrix and they go to the center of the ring and Niko shoots his futuristic dagger upwards and Commandrix slams the tip of her scepter down and lasers blast out from the ringpost and Niko removes his futuristic armor and resheathes his futuristic dagger before going to his corner with Commandrix who gives him his instructions the same ominous and murderous look in his eyes and expression on his face.
King: ...futuristic.
Hawke: You think?
King: ...murderistic.
Hawke: Are you just spewing random words?
King: Maybe.
Hawke: You just want to see Commandrix's puppies.
King: That could be true. I'm not sure if seeing those would be the last thing I ever see though.
Hawke: Maybe.
Interfed Challenge
Adam Sanders vs Niko
Niko: THE DARK GLADIATOR IS HERE SO PREPARE FOR WAR!
Adam Sanders looks across the ring at Niko with a WTF look.
Sanders: You wanna fight or scream?
Niko runs across the ring, taking a swing at Adam, who dodges the shot with ease and brings Niko down with a clothesline. Niko practically bounces off of the mat back to his feet, only to be arm dragged back to the mat. Niko is rising back up when Adam lunges down with a hard right hand to the side of the head that flattens Niko. Adam goes to the ropes and comes back on the rebound with a stiff forearm to the rising Niko that staggers him back to the ropes. Adam hammers Niko with lefts and rights before getting him up into a suplex position, walking to the center of the ring, and dropping backwards to land the suplex.
Hawke: Adam is stronger than he looks.
King: I'm just sad that he's a he and not a she. I need puppies in my life, Joey!
Hawke: Wait, what?
King: You heard me.
Hawke: I did.
Adam gets Niko back up and goes to whip him into the ropes, but Niko reverses it, and sends Adam for a ride. On the rebound, Niko hits a lightning powerslam! Niko jumps to his feet, grabs a rising Adam, and hits a solid headbutt right between the eyes. Niko goes to the ropes and comes back with a flying roaring superman punch! Adam lunges, ducking under the punch, and hitting a mid-air spear that sends both men crashing to the mat!
Hawke: Adam shook off the effects of that headbutt right in the nick of time!
King: Puppies?
Hawke: No!
Adam gets to his feet, watching as Niko gets to his feet. He hits a reverse neckbreaker and goes for the cover!
One
Tw-Niko kicks out!
Adam brings Niko to his feet and knees Niko in the gut to double him over. He goes for a double arm ddt, but Niko slips out of his grasp. Niko grabs Adam and hits a belly to belly overhead suplex! Niko gets Adam up into a military press slam position. He takes a few steps and throws Adam out of the ring onto the ground outside of the ring!
King: Adam takes flight! It's not puppies, but it will do.
Hawke: Oh give it up!
Niko watches as Adam is slow to get up and hits a baseball slide drop kick to the outside of the ring! Niko then gets Adam up and hits a German suplex that lands the back of Adam's head onto the ring steps! Niko rolls back into the ring, looking down as Adam lays as if dead on the ground, blood on the ground. Niko grabs the ref by the front of the shirt with a foul smile.
Niko: Start counting the man out. He ain't getting up...ever again.
Hawke: Does Niko think that he's just killed a man outside of the ring?
King: Would seem so.
Hawke: Should he count Adam out or just signal for paramedics?
The ref looks at Niko and looks to Adam before starting to count Adam out.
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Adam raises a hand up and grabs the ringsteps. He begins to drag himself up. The ref taps Niko on the shoulder and points to Adam to reveal that he has indeed gotten up.
Seven
Eight
Niko rolls out of the ring to break the count and grab Adam, but Adam grabs Niko and hot shots his face onto the ring steps!
King: Why did Niko go out of the ring? He might have won this match by count out!
Hawke: I guess he was upset that he hadn't murdered Adam.
Adam uses the ring apron to get back to his feet and roll into the ring. The ref checks to see if Adam can continue to wrestle as he is still bleeding from the back of the head. The ref goes to the side of the ring and sees that Niko is still face down on the ground. The ref smiles and begins to count.
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Niko gets to his feet, being helped by Commandrix. He is bleeding from the nose and mouth, spits out a mouthful of blood and what could be a tooth.
Six
Seven
Eight
Niko rolls back into the ring. He gets to his feet, but then falls back down to his hands and knees, blood dripping to the mat like rain. Adam stands up, but nearly falls back to the mat.
Hawke: Neither man is really capable of wrestling right now. This match should be stopped!
King: Yes and get with the women in the ring!
Hawke: No! Jerry, calm the heck down.
King: I can try.
Niko stands up and locks up with the wavering Adam. They struggle back and forth until Adam whips Niko into the ropes. Adam's eyes go crossed and he nearly falls again as Niko is on the way back. Niko goes for a muay thai running high knee strike, but gets turned inside by a strong clothesline! Adam gets Niko up into a suplex position, nearly falling sideways in the attempt, but holding on. He drops Niko in a vertical suplex piledriver and goes for the cover!
One
Two
Three!
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of the match via pinfall…"Awkward" Adam Sanders!
EMTs come down to the ring to check on Adam and Niko so they can be taken to the back.
Hawke: So much blood!
King: Blood isn't as good as puppies, but it is the next best thing. Clean up on aisle three!
Hawke: You can be a disgusting man.
King: I know, but you love me. The fans love me.
Hawke: I suppose.
Commandrix waylays a medic trying to help Niko to his feet and helps him herself. Medics stay nearby, but stay out of reach for now. Adam Sanders lays on the mat as medics check him and raises one arm in victory.
In an alternate universe, The United States is crumbling while the UOW has been exiled due to its criminal stars. First swinging through Mexico and now maybe on the way to Japan, the wrestlers of UOW seem to be of high importance. Can they change the world around them for the better? Or will it be for the worse?
Rat Bastard and Greg Adkins are in the medical room of the arena. A nurse is cleaning Greg's wrist wound and restiching what he had torn out. Rat Bastard is getting patched up as well.
Bastard: You know what would go well with all of this pain medicine they've given us?
Adkins: No? What is it?
Rat Bastard pulls out a six pack of Bastard Brews. He pops open two bottles and hands Greg one.
Nurse: I don't think that drinking on pain meds is a good idea.
Adkins: Noooo. It's a fantastic idea!
Greg drinks the bottle of booze down in one go, setting the empty down on the table. Rat Bastard hands him another opened bottle.
Adkins: Hey! I have an idea!
Nurse: What are you doing?
Greg snags a needle full of full strength lidocaine. Before the nurse can grab it out of his hands, he injects the full thing into his right ankle.
Nurse: What the Hell?
Adkins: This is so if Caffrey applies the ankle lock to that ankle, I won't feel it snap and thus will not submit.
Bastard: Sounds like a right awesome plan.
Adkins: I also have a little nose candy in the locker room. We gonna be flying high when we get to the match and my ankle will be invincible!
The nurse sighs. The fact that your ankle will be numb is not really going to help you. How is it feeling now? Greg brings his ankle up and knocks on it pretty hard.
Adkins: I think it's going to be awesome!
Greg shotguns the second beer and hops down to the floor. The right ankle gives out on his as soon as his feet hit the floor. Greg goes down like a sack of potatoes.
Adkins: I'm okay! My foot's kind of asleep too.
Nurse: I tried to warn you.
Adkins: All good.
Greg gets back to his feet, though it's clear that he's pretty wobbly. He catches a third Bastard Brew and downs it with a shout.
Adkins: Let's do this!
Rat Bastard sits by three empties with a laugh as he watches Greg Adkins try to walk out of the medical office, all wobbly with the right ankle and foot being drugged and ready for surgery.
Bastard: He's going to kick really hard with that foot…
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger, weighing in at two hundred pounds...Guillotina!
The music plays for thirty seconds before Guillotina walks down the stage slowly with MIA by his side, waving at fans and signing kids' t-shirts with his name.
Hawke: Are those his shirts that he's signing with his name?
King: I would think so. It's not like he's signing random shirts is he?
Hawke: I think that he is.
King: Well, people will remember his name when they look down at their shirt.
Guillotina rolls into the ring and waves at his cheering fans, even the ones that whom he signed their shirts that didn't have him on them.
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent, weighing in at two hundred pounds...Lynx!
The theme for Thundercats begins playing as Lynx walks out from the back. He cocks his head while looking at the media center that's playing the music. The sound manager just shrugs.
King: That's what happens when you don't have music listed on your biography. Shit gets made up.
Hawke: I might have gone with "Welcome to the Jungle", but the theme to Thundercats? He's Lynx, not Lynx-O.
King: Welp. Guess mistakes were made.
Lynx rolls into the ring and lets out a roar to the cheering fans, who roar back.
King: I can tell by Lynx's expression that he's mad about the music.
Hawke: He's wearing a mask. How can you tell his expression?
King: I'm good like that.
Hawke: Yeah, right.
Interfed Challenge
Guillotina vs Lynx
Guillotina rushes at Lynx as the bell rings to start the match. He strikes at Lynx with several martial arts strikes that Lynx blocks and returns with several strikes of his own that Guillotina blocks. The two go back and forth in the middle of the ring, striking and blocking as fast as humanly possible while trying to get past the defenses of the other. Eventually, Lynx strikes Guillotina in the side of the head. The blow is enough to stop Guillotina's defenses so that Lynx strikes him several times in the face, chest, and midsection. Lynx follows this with a knee strike to the midsection and a hip toss to the mat that Guillotina rolls through back to his feet. Guillotina springs back at Lynx, elbow striking him in the side of the head. He turns and kicks Lynx in the side of the knee, sweeping him to the mat. Lynx is quickly back to his feet, but is sent back into a backflip with a front kick to the chest. Lynx backflips to his feet from the kick, launching himself back at Guillotina with a spear that takes Guillotina down to the mat.
Hawke: Hot martial action going back and forth here.
King: The last two matches have been brutal wars. I don't expect this to be any different.
Hawke: I would hope that there won't be quite as much bloodshed this match.
King: I'm fine with it, really.
Lynx gets to feet, being met by Guillotina, who strikes out with an elbow to Lynx's jaw. He follows this up with a three kick combo which is a kick to the gut, kick to the chest, and kick to the face! Lynx absorbs this damage and grabs Guillotina by the sides of the head to deliver a brutal headbutt that staggers Guillotina backwards a few steps. Lynx grabs Guillotina by the arm and swings him around as if going for an irish whip, but brings him down to the mat while locking in an armbar. Guillotina rolls out of the grip and to his feet, roundhouse kicking at Lynx's head, who ducks under the blow. Lynx lunges upward, driving a palm into Guillotina's jaw with enough force to send him to the mat. Lynx leaps into the air, hitting a standing moonsault double heel stomp to the mat as Guillotina rolls out of the way. Guillotina delivers a solid stomping kick to the side of Lynx's knee to bring him down to the mat as Guillotina gets to his feet. Guillotina climbs up to the top rope, waiting for Lynx to get up. He goes for a missile drop kick, but Lynx turns out of the way and hits a backflip kick to the back of Guillotina's head in a move that sends Guillotina flopping to the side where he rolls to a crouching position. Guillotina launches at Lynx as he lands on the mat, hitting a powerful clothesline! Lynx starts to rise, but Guillotina grabs him, and DDTs him to the mat!
Hawke: Looks like Guillotina is taking the lead in this.
King: Yeah, but for how long? Three seconds?
Hawke: True.
Guillotina jumps up to his feet and drags Lynx up. He whips Lynx into the ropes and hits a Facebuster on the rebound! Guillotina goes for the pinfall!
One
Tw-Lynx kicks out!
Guillotina pulls Lynx up and hits a 540 roundhouse kick to his ass! When Lynx looks at him, Guillotina points to MIA.
Guillotina: She did it!
Lynx grabs at Guillotina and goes for an irish whip, but Guillotina reverses it and sends Lynx at the corner while following. Lynx leaps at the corner, springboarding off of them and hitting a knee strike to the side of Guillotina's head that plants him to the mat! Guillotina gets back up, but only to fall prey to a running ddt! Lynx goes for the cover!
One
Two
Th-Guillotina kicks out!
Hawke: Lynx almost had the win right there.
King: Yeah, almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
Hawke: I suppose.
Lynx stands up, grabbing Guillotina, and throwing him to the ropes. Lynx goes to the ropes, leaping at them, and springboarding into a lariat that Guillotina ducks under on his way to the ropes. Lynx does a quick somersault back to his feet, hitting the ropes, and heads back to the rebounding Guillotina. He goes for a running lariat that Guillotina ducks under again, but this time he goes what would appear to be a standing side kick that slams his knee into Lynx's midsection hard enough to cause Lynx to flip over the leg and land onto his back! Guillotina gets into a fighting stance, waiting for Lynx to get to his feet. He goes for a Taekwondo 540 roundhouse kick to the face, but Lynx manages to step back out of the range of the kick. When Guillotina's other foot comes within reach as part of the finishing movements of the kick, Lynx grabs the leg, and pulls up to flip Guillotina, who lands on his feet. Guillotina launches right back into the motion of another 540 roundhouse kick to the face, but this time Lynx lunges into the move. He grabs Guillotina by the kicking ankle with one hand to move it out of the way and lunges into a palm strike to the midsection that sends Guillotina to the mat, the air having been knocked totally from his body.
Hawke: What a reversal of fortune! Guillotina trying to finish this match and Lynx may have finished him with that move!
King: That was a powerful counter. I could have done it back in the day.
Hawke: You were about as martial artist as Charlie Brown.
King: Well, maybe so.
Lynx gets the winded Guillotina up and takes him to the corner. He gets Guillotina up to the top turnbuckle and climbs to the second turnbuckle himself. He hits Guillotina with a few right hands before going for the falcon arrow, but Guillotina manages to grab onto the top rope with his legs to prevent himself from being picked up. Guillotina grabs Lynx by the head with two side head claws, hits a brutal headbutt, and leaps from the second turnbuckle with his knees on Lynx's chest and rides him down to the mat with a smashing impact! Guillotina palms Lynx's face and smashes the back of his head into the mat a few times before going for the pinfall!
One
Two
Thr-Lynx kicks out!
Hawke: Lynx fails to hit his finisher and pays for it dearly!
King: Maybe that mask is on a little too tight that he thinks that he can do that yet.
Guillotina rolls Lynx to the side and applies a sleeper with a leg scissors around the body as both men lay on their sides. Guillotina's Level Up submission finisher. Lynx tries to break out of the hold, but manages to get a foot onto the ropes to force a break. Guillotina stands up, watching as Lynx gets back to his feet. Guillotina goes for the 540 roundhouse kick to the face, but Lynx ducks into a somersault that he jumps to his feet behind Guillotina. Lynx immediately jumps into a roundhouse kick to the face, leveling Guillotina.
King: How many times Guillotina going to go for that kick before he realizes that it just isn't going to land?
Hawke: Until it hits, I reckon.
Lynx pulls Guillotina up into an inverse fireman's carry, but Guillotina drops back behind Lynx and hits a reverse neckbreaker! Guillotina grabs the downed Lynx and applies a cobra arm bar submission hold. Lynx responds with his free hand, shoving fingers into Guillotina's mouth for a mandible claw! Both holds get broken as both wrestlers roll away from one another. Lynx and Guillotina jump to their feet and move at each other. This time Lynx is faster, ducking into a shoulder charge that he turns into a regular fireman's carry that he changes into an airplane spin before dumping Guillotina onto his back. Lynx gets Guillotina up to his feet again and goes for the inverted fireman's carry. Guillotina glides around Lynx's shoulders, bringing him down to the mat in a bulldog!
Hawke: These two are really going at it. Who will win?
King: I would say the one that wears out first. I still hadn't seen any bloodshed.
Hawke: Why would you see bloodshed?
King: I mean. Lynx is a former street fighter.
Hawke: That doesn't mean that he's going for blood.
King: It doesn't mean he's not, not going for blood either.
Guillotina stands up, watching as Lynx gets to his feet, and MISSES the 540 roundhouse kick to the face as Lynx moves swiftly to dodge it. He grabs Guillotina up in an inverted fireman's carry, grabs Guillotina up around the neck and clutching at the wrist before completing his motion for the burning hammer!
Hawke: Lynx finally hitting the Flame Desperado! Is this it?
King: Guillotina looks out of it so I would think so.
Lynx goes for the cover!
One
Two
Three!
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of the match via pinfall...Lynx!
Hawke: This was a hard fought match by both men.
King: How could it be hard fought if neither man bled?
Hawke: Hard fought match doesn't always mean hardcore.
King: Well crap.
*We cut to the backstage area where we see a rather tall woman in a familiar blue long sleeved blouse as she is neatly tying her hair into her signature messy bun. … Yes neatly. I imagine that’s how this works. She nods at the completion of her work and turns to her audience of two. On one side is a short but buxom blonde in a low cut blouse, short skirt with dogs on it, and electric pink tennis shoes. In her hand is a small airhorn. On the other side is a taller man wearing a Seattle Mariners faux jersey with number 14 and the name Carloni on the back. He has on loose fitting jeans and some fancy looking Italian shoes. He also has on a bowler hat and his face is completely wrapped in bandages leaving just his eyes and ears clear. Around his waist is the MCCW World Heavyweight Championship.*
Discipline: This event is going to be my crowning achievement. Timeless is not ready for what I intend to bring tonight.
Chaos: You show that boob and his boobette who’s boss! I’m gonna blast this baby right in Roxy’s face. *she shakes the airhorn* I’m not afraid of her.
Discipline: Indeed. I am, quite honestly, tired of the disrespect constantly thrown at me. I am not just a piece of arm candy for Death Trap. I am a strong, successful wrestler in my own right. Defeating a respected name from SWAT like Timeless will surely put the company on notice and go a long way to earning us respect for the End of Days tag team annihilator.
Death Trap: Haaat tmmmmnnn ss aaa aarrrsss.
Chaos: What about your hat?
*DT sighs and lowers his head*
Death Trap: Hmmm fffsss on Tie-less.
Discipline: Oh Timeless has my focus for sure Death Trap. He has done so much running of his mouth and besmirching my good name. I intend to extract my pound of flesh from him and his little trollop of a valet. I will have him crying for a different woman by the end of the day.
Death Trap: Mmmmmy!
Chaos: That or a nurse!
*Suddenly an unexpected thing happens. Mongo the Destroyer approaches the group. Like really Mongo in all his expensive cheap suit glory. He laughs a bit and looks to Mistress*
Mongo: Well well it does my heart good to see a homegrown XHF Network talent shining on the global stage. I must say Miss Discipline …
Chaos: HEY That’s MISTRESS Discipline, we didn’t toil away at school to have our degrees ignored!
*She waggles her finger in his face, he just smiles*
Mongo: Well you are just adorable. Yes, as your manager pointed out, MisTRESS Discipline. You have certainly put the Network on notice with your performance in these global events.
Death Trap: I uzz X*Kown Chmp! You neh-er congirdate mmm!
*He doesn’t acknowledge his old rival*
Discipline: Well thank you Mister The Destroyer. It makes me happy to know my efforts are valued.
Mongo: Oh uh, Bonnie asked me to ask your manager to please stop sending us items through the post. I haven’t SEEN these things but she informs me she is not happy and I like to keep my employees happy at the XHF Offices. Something about a jar and a calendar. I don’t know. Anyhow good luck tonight. The network is watching with baited breath!
Discipline: Thank you sir. I will be sure to make Timeless an example!
*Discipline marches to the gorilla position while Chaos joyfully bounds behind her. Mongo puts his hand on DT’s shoulder.*
Mongo: I must say I am impressed. Bringing her in and training her has been the biggest success of your career.
Death Trap: Hmmm???? Bbtt bbtt … titles!
Mongo: The only accomplishment really. Who knew DT could actually bring value to the network beyond the jokes about your stupid hat? Hahaha.
Death Trap: Hhhrr … you fft fffkk! Don’t prtnize mmm!
Mongo: Yes I am having fun! I must say this is the most entertaining and coherent you have ever been! Much better than a promo!
*Mongo laughs as he marches off to watch the match on a monitor in his portable office. DT just looks exasperated and walks out to the gorilla position with clenched fists*
The XHF Network has expanded to the fast and furious world of CAR racing. The monthly Competitive Automotive Racing coveted Sippy Cup race will be part of the October End of Days where we will see who has fire in their tailpipes, who is just full of air, and who will be washed away.
King: When will DT ever learn that he will never be as good as everyone else?
Hawke: Well now that we’ve heard about CAR and it’s gloriously violent vehicular carnage let’s get to the next match!
Bonnie Jenkins: Ladies and gentlemen this match is an interfed promotion scheduled for one fall! Entering first, from Raleigh, North Carolina. At 6’ and 200 pounds. Representing Master Class Championship Wrestling and being accompanied by MCCW World Champion Death Trap and Doctor Chaos … she is MISTRESS DISCIPLINE!
*“The Planets Op. 32: IV. Jupiter- Bringer of Jollity” by Gustav Holst begins to play on the arena speakers. The lights dim slightly and a spotlight appears on the stage. Mistress Discipline steps onto the stage and adjusts the high collar and neckline of her trademark blue blouse. Chaos and DT step out next to her. They march to the ring with a purpose. Discipline rolls into the ring and adjusts her trademark hair buns. DT and Chaos head around to her corner on the floor and applaud her as she poses in the ring. She steps into the corner and begins stretching her arms while awaiting her opponent.*
Hawke: Discipline has really impressed when the stage was the biggest.
King: That’s right Joey, and she brought us a great gift! Look at her manager! WOO PUPPIES!
Hawke: Control yourself King or else …
*Chaos whips around hearing the sexist comments and blasts the air horn right at King*
King: GAH MY EARS!
Hawke: You deserved that.
Bonnie Jenkins: And her opponent, representing Northern Pro Wrestling, from New Hope, Minnesota … At 6’ 3” and 262 pounds and being accompanied by Roxylishus … he is … “TIMELESS” ALEX TURNER!
[Orion - Eternity (Chillout Version) hits and Turner struts down the aisle, glaring at the crowd with contempt and disgust. Roxylishus stops to interact with one of the crowd, then wretches and turns away heading to the ring, she gets up on the apron and holds the ropes down for Turner. Roxylishus grabs the mic and passes it to Turner.]
Timeless: I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it.
Crowd: I’M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!
Timeless: No (holding his hand up to block them) You’re not! I *points to himself with his thumb* AM!
[Timeless drops the mic and saunters smugly around the ring impressed with himself.]
King: And here is the former SWAT superstar Timeless and his AMAZING VALET ROXY! HI ROXY!
Hawke: Yes and Turner has a miniature rivalry with Discipline and DT that started at the rumble.
King: With Roxy at ringside how can he lose?
*An airhorn blasts King again*
King: *BLEEP* ME IN THE … that woman is quickly starting to rub me the wrong way … and not in the good wrong way.
Hawke: I imagine that happens a lot to you King.
Interfed Challenge
Mistress Discipline vs "Timeless" Alex Turner w/ Roxylishus
The ref calls for the bell and it rings. Discipline begins circling Timeless, studying his movements. Timeless looks less than concerned. Discipline wears a scowl of disgust. They engage in a collar and elbow tie up. Discipline starts to push Timeless back but he hits an arm drag. He stands up and dusts himself off. Discipline sits on her butt looking angry and quickly gets to her feet. She moves in again and Timeless just dispenses with the pleasantries and hits another arm drag and holds an arm wrench on her. She struggles and wriggles free. She quickly stands up and Timeless yawns at her.
King: Man Timeless is showing no respect to Mistress here.
Roxy pounds the mat and cheers on her man while DT and Chaos stare into the ring with anticipation. Timeless shrugs at her and holds his arms up for a test of strength. She obliges and he quickly stomps on her left foot and she drops to her knee letting him really get an advantage on the tie up. He releases it and ruffles her hair before pie facing her to the ground. She kips up and unloads with a slap that echoes through the arena. Timeless’s smug smirk is now full of rage. He throws a kick but she catches it and slaps him to the mat. He spits on the mat and roars to his feet and gets in her face.
Timeless: You worthless wretch how dare you slap me in my face!
Discipline: Like this.
She unloads with another slap and follows it with a trio of elbow strikes to the side of the head sending him stumbling back to the ropes. He rebounds and hits a shoulder barge sending her to the ropes. On the rebound he hits another arm drag but pulls her to her feet with the hold still in and arm drags her again. He pins her with his forearm over her face and crushing her nose. She kicks out before one but he drags his arm over her face as he gets up.
Hawke: Well that slap that Discipline throws around with reckless abandon snapped Timeless from disrespect to rage pretty quickly.
King: She had no right to slap the perfect jaw of Timeless!
Chaos: SLAP HIM HARDER!
Roxylishus: Shut your whore mouth!
Timeless sits her up and locks in a reverse chin lock. He looks over at DT and smirks as he tightens the hold. Discipline pushes herself up off the mat and grabs his head as she falls back to her seat with the improvised jawbreaker. Timeless steps back holding his head. He charges for a kick but Discipline catches the leg, stands up, and slaps him again. She holds the leg this time and tries for another but Timeless leaps up with a single leg dropkick to the sternum. Discipline collapses to the mat as Timeless stands up and rubs his cheek. He cracks his neck and calms himself down. He locks in a sharpshooter.
King: Timeless with his picture perfect dropkick into his signature sharpshooter.
Hawke: Looks like he is done playing around now after being slapped around.
Discipline shouts in pain and immediately begins clawing her way to the ropes. As she gets close Roxy pulls the ropes away and her hand misses and hits the mat.
Roxylishus: SHE TAPPED OUT! CALL FOR THE BELL!
Chaos: BULL-LONEY! YOU CHEATER!
The ref doesn’t call for the bell however and on try 2 she grabs the ropes. Timeless holds the submission to the count of 4 and as the ref admonishes him, Discipline drapes her head on the rope to recover but Roxy unloads with a slap of her own before turning her back to taunt the crowd. Discipline reaches though the ropes to grab her hair and she yells. Timeless takes advantage by grabbing the top rope and using it as a spring for extra height and crashing down with a knee drop to the left shoulder of Discipline. He pulls her from the ropes and grabs the left arm and hits a snapping arm wringer on the mat.
King: He is clearly working her shoulder to set up for the Turnabout.
Hawke: I’m more concerned that Roxy getting involved may turn this into a cluster …
Timeless taunts to the crowd. Discipline pulls herself to her feet in the corner with her right hand before shaking out her left arm. Timeless barrels in for a clothesline in the corner but she rolls out of the way and as he catches himself to avoid crushing his chest on the turnbuckle she hits a chop block to his right leg. He holds himself up with the ropes. She pulls him out of the corner and hits a big elbow shot to the back of the head and as he bounces out of the corner again, she hits another chop block. She steps back and leaps at him with a shooting leg lock. He quickly grabs at the ropes but this time Chaos pulls the ropes from him and sticks her tongue out. Timeless inches closer and grabs the ropes. Chaos tries to slap him but DT holds her back. He is still not about to let Discipline’s win be tainted by cheating. Discipline steps away from Timeless who shouts at DT and Chaos for a second.
Timeless: DO yourselves a favor and stand back and let perfection work his magic.
He pulls to his feet and turns … right into a thunderous bicycle knee strike to the face.
King: OOF Big Final Bell from Discipline.
Hawke: Timeless certainly got his bell rung.
She pins. ONE! Timeless grabs the ropes. Discipline rolls off. Timeless gets to one knee and she charges with a shining big boot. He rolls away holding his head. He pushes to one knee. Discipline backs up for another shining big boot but Roxy grabs her foot from the outside. Discipline struggles to get herself free as Timeless has the ref’s attention checking his face. Timeless pushes the ref out of the way and charges with a huge German Suplex. He bridges.
ONE!
Kickout by Discipline.
He stands up and holds his jaw. He pulls Discipline to her feet and hits a snap suplex. He then locks in a guillotine choke.
Chaos: HEY THAT’S AN ILLEGAL CHOKE! … Right DT?
Death Trap: Mmm Hmmm.
The ref counts to four before Timeless breaks the hold. Roxy leaps onto the apron to complain about the preferential treatment. The ref argues with her. Discipline rolls towards them and shoves her feet back sending her crashing to the floor. Timeless grabs her though and hauls her into an abdominal stretch really torqueing the left shoulder as he does. He smirks to the crowd and makes thrusting motions as he torques the hold. DT pounds the mat to encourage Discipline. The ref finally turns around from ensuring Roxy wasn’t hurt and begins to check on Discipline. She shakes her head no and slowly maneuvers her leg around Timeless’s plant leg. She uses all her mighty strength to haul him over with a hip toss. She then stomps on his right ankle again. She pulls him into an Achilles hold. Timeless howls in pain but refuses to give up. He punches the mat in frustration. He tries to roll out of the hold but Mistress is just as learned in submissions as him and continues to roll to thwart this. Timeless sees Chaos and spits at her. She is incensed and leaps to the apron.
King: What is she doing!?
Chaos: YOU UNCULTURED SWINE! It’s a pandemic! Just because you got tested before hand doesn’t make that ok! WHO KNOWS what horrible diseases that … thing … over there gave to you!
DT and the ref are both trying to hold the spitfire that is Chaos back. This allows Roxy to enter the ring and stomp the hell out of Discipline to break the hold.
Chaos: TURN AROUND YOU MORON! SHE’S CHEATING!
The ref continues to focus on Chaos as Roxy pulls Discipline to her feet and shoves her at Timeless who hits an inverted atomic drop then hugs her and hits an overhead belly to belly suplex. Chaos drops off the apron as Roxy exits the ring.
Hawke: I suppose that’s order restored? Kind of?
King: All the jiggling going on from the valets is what this show REALLY needed.
*An airhorn rips through the air again, this time it’s DT laughing at King through his bandages*
King: GODDAMNIT I AM HORNY ENOUGH WITHOUT THAT DEVICE!
Hawke: Ain’t that the truth?
Timeless now is wearing that smug smile again as Discipline is beginning to show fatigue. He slaps her in the back of the head a few times and shakes his head. He stomps on her left shoulder again and drops down ready for the Turnabout! But Discipline suckers him in with a small package.
Chaos: THAT AIN’T THE ONLY SMALL PACKAGE IN THE RING BUDDY!
ONE!
Kickout from Timeless.
He rolls to his feet and laughs nodding, almost showing some respect for her resourcefulness. Almost. He quickly wipes the grin off his face and starts raining forearm club shots to the face. Discipline rolls him off of her and gets to the ropes. She uses them as leverage to stand but Timeless greets her with a falcon arrow.
ONE!
TWO!
Kickout from Mistress.
Timeless checks with the ref that it was only two which the ref confirms. He nods and pulls her to her feet. He sets her up for the Turn Me Loose. Discipline flips back out of the move and hits a chop block to that right leg again. She then locks in the Dunce Cap!
Hawke: Nice reversal into that choke sleeper!
King: She can choke me any time!
Chaos sighs and walks over to the commentary table to tell off the announcers. Timeless is flailing in the ring looking for a way out. Roxy sees an opportunity and slowly makes her way around the ring. DT is standing there cheering Mistress on.
Death Trap: Mmmm, mmm hmmm, mm…*suddenly very high pitched* MMMMMMMMM!
DT collapses to the floor in agony as tears fall and are soaked up by his bandages. Roxy has full on football punted him from behind square in his dangly bits. The camera cuts to backstage where Mongo is watching on a monitor.
Mongo: HA! Not so funny when it happens to you is it?! … Ok now 2 more for good measure Roxy…
We cut back to the arena and Discipline breaks the hold to shout at Roxy. Roxy just taunts her and points at the now very inert DT in the fetal position. Suddenly an airhorn hits Roxy in the chest. She doesn’t even notice it.
Chaos: STUPID FAKE FUNBAGS!
Roxy turns to this and a pink tennis shoe hits her square in the face. Roxy looks enraged. Chaos seems to have just remembered Roxy is trained to be in the ring and Chaos is a 5’1” medical professional now wearing only one shoe.
Chaos: Oh … shi…itake mushrooms …
Chaos takes off at a … run? She is now lopsided and it is causing all kinds of problems as she bounces. She puts an arm across her chest to help contain her bouncing and prevent a black eye. Roxy is chasing her up the arena steps through the crowd, seemingly less concerned with the bouncing.
Discipline: CHAOS WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU…
She is interrupted by Timeless who hits her with an exploder suplex. She rolls to her feet and he hits a DDT. He laughs and pins her.
ONE!
TWO!
THR-kickout by Discipline.
King:Well that distraction has now left Chaos and Roxy out of the match and running through the crowd in delightful bouncing glory.
Hawke: Yeah and DT is crying on the outside and Discipline is in dire straits in the ring.
Timeless pulls her to her feet and hits a dragon suplex dropping her right on that left shoulder. She howls in pain and rolls under the bottom rope to escape and catch her breath. He baseball slide dropkicks her to the floor. He then turns to the ref.
Timeless: Why don’t you count her out, she won’t be back.
The ref begins to count. As he reaches five a hand comes up to the apron. At six her head is visible. At seven she has her body leaning on the apron. And she rolls under the bottom rope at nine. Timeless sighs and shrugs before locking in the Turnabout! Discipline howls in agony but refuses to tap out. Timeless seems unconcerned.
Timeless: Nobody to save you now. I’m better than you. Now tap out and end this charade and go join your loser partner on the floor crying.
Discipline is fading but slowly maneuvers herself. With the last bit of energy she drapes her leg on the rope. At a count of four the ref has to physically break the hold. Timeless rushes to his feet complaining in the ref’s face. The ref admonishes him. Timeless curses him and turns to Discipline and rolls her from the ropes and pins her.
ONE!
TWO!
Kickout.
He looks incensed with rage.
Hawke: How is she still going?
King: She isn’t known for having the best stamina and endurance but she has heart and she refuses to lose here.
Timeless pulls her to her feet and grabs her chin in his hand. He begins to tell her off and she slaps him. He hooks her for a fisherman bomb but she shifts her weight and he drops her. She hoists him up for the Expulsion powerbomb but he hits a headscissor reversal and she crashes into the ref and they bump heads. The ref goes down and Discipline stumbles right into a fisherman bomb. But there is no ref to count. Timeless looks around and sees the downed ref holding his face and releases the pin. He smirks. Discipline is crawling to the ropes. Timeless holds up his right hand and slowly removes the padded glove showing the metal hand underneath.
King: Uh oh, we’ve seen that hand get used a lot in NPW already.
Hawke: No Timeless that’s too far!
Timeless winds up and waits for her to get to her feet. He slowly stalks, maneuvering. She pulls to her feet in the corner and he moves to punch her lights out but his arm is grabbed from behind by a wobbly legged Death Trap! He pulls the arm down and sends a few shots to Timeless before whipping him off the ropes. Timeless however avoids the thrust kick and then punches DT square in the busted nose with the metal hand. DT drops to the mat blood pouring into the bandages on his face and he is clearly unconscious.
Timeless: Don’t ever touch me again you oaf.
He turns around and Discipline is there with rage in her eyes and she boots him in the gut and hits a piledriver. She then stomps his ankle a few times.
Discipline: I seem to recall you being kicked out of SWAT, let me help you reminisce!
She locks in an ankle lock on that hurt right ankle and grapevines the leg. Timeless’s eyes light up with both pain and rage.
King: That’s the Process! She stole that move to mock Anthony Caffrey after his feud with DT hit a high point. Now she’s using it to mock Timeless!
Hawke:That’s right King. The signature move of the man who kicked Timeless from SWAT!
DT slowly rolls himself out of the ring to receive medical treatment. Somewhere Dylan Black is laughing at this. Discipline is clearly angry and has a full second wind. She is REALLY torqueing that ankle and with no ref around Timeless doesn’t have a way out. She continues to twist that ankle as Timeless struggles. He refuses to even tap without the ref present. Timeless uses all his energy to effectively do a crunch and punch the right leg of Discipline with his metal hand until she releases the hold. He sees the ref moving and grabs the glove off the mat and puts it back on the metal hand. Discipline is to her feet and shaking out the leg he just punched with that hand. He tries to get to feet but his right ankle is thoroughly trashed. He hops on one leg. Discipline locks onto him with a laser focus and kicks him in the gut. He doubles over. She tries to hook him for that powerbomb but he slides out and spins on his good leg to her side and sets for a Russian leg sweep. She stomps the bad ankle however and then pulls HIM down with a forward roll and pulls her legs over his head locking in the koji clutch right in the center of the ring.
Hawke: THERE IT IS THE DETENTION!
King: How is Timeless going to survive?!?
Timeless howls in pain. He looks ready to tap but the ref is not to his feet. He taps out on her butt but the ref isn’t fully cognizant yet. She torques the hold harder as he shouts out in pain and taps harder and faster. Timeless is fading fast. She releases the hold.
Discipline: As I explained, I intend to make a statement.
She pulls him to his feet and looks him in his eyes which are glazed over.
Discipline: Any questions?
He babbles something incoherent.
Discipline: Good.
She lifts him up and plants him with the Expulsion sit-out powerbomb before rolling him over and locking in the Detention one more time. The ref is now up and checks on Timeless who groggily taps out. The bell rings.
Bonnie Jenkins: Your winner by submission, MISTRESS DISCIPLINE!
Discipline adjusts her buns … in her hair … and adjusts her collar before having her hand raised in victory. Timeless rolls out of the ring and is helped to the back by ringside attendants as Mistress helps DT to his feet and celebrates with a hug to his lifeless body.
King: Up next folks we've got a real treat for you! The debuting team of Radu Matei and Anthony Caffrey will face off against the also debuting dirty duo of Greg Adkins and Rat Bastard! Both teams are established singles stars, but this is the first time either team is squaring up together!
Hawke: I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in this match! This is my third most-looked forward to match on the card tonight!
The lights in the area go out and and red glow comes from the ramp as Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones begins to play through the speakers. As the words come through, the light gets darker.
Please allow me to introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith
And I was round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith
And I was round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Shadows mix in with the red glow now. Rat Bastard steps through the curtain, a cocky smug look upon his face, with a tooth pick handing from his mouth. Rat takes a deep breath in and runs his hands through his greasy black hair. He begins his stalk to the ring, shooting dirty looks of disgust out at the fans.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada. Weighing in at 285 pounds, RAAAAAT BAAASTAAAARRRRRD!
Rat climbs the stairs the ring, slowly climbing inside he begins to point toward the mat, lipping to the fans that he owns this place.
King: A confident Rat here in New Zealand! This is his third match since his big loss at Night of Champions 11, where he and five others all fell to Rob Arnold in the main event!
Hawke: Yeah, the big RB may be confident but he must have a chip on his shoulder! He hasn't won a match since he defeated half the opposing team tonight, Anthony Caffrey, to even make it to that main event!
King: Tonight may be the night to right some wrongs.
Hawke: You can say that again.
"I like Big Butts" by Sir Mix-a-Lot plays over the PA and a group of hookers all walk out doing a conga/strip dance. No nudity occurs and they all wear masks. A few guys in speedos, masks and neckties all come out carrying a blackjack table. Cards are thrown off the top by none other than Greg Adkins!
Hawke: Is this even legal? Or ethical given the current global pandemic?
King: Who cares! We've got puppies of all kinds on display here!
Bonnie Jenkins: Making his way to the ring, from Tuscola, Illinois. He weighed in at 165 pounds. "GUTTERTRASH" GREG ADKINS!
The hoard marches down to the ring, as Rat laughs inside. They get to ringside and set the table down. A lucky stripper comes up on the table with Greg and they do a sexy dance together. They grope each other before Greg stumbles in on his drugged up leg. He leans against Rat for support! The hookers and strippers move the table over the gates and they play blackjack at ringside.
King: What a lucky lucky guy!
Hawke: The Dirty Duo are in the ring, all pumped up and ready to party. But will they be able to handle the empire coming to face them?
King: Is that their name?
Hawke: No, but it describes them to a tee. They can pay me later when the royalties start flowing in.
King: But I coined that term describing them first!
Hawke: But did you spend time during their entrances filing for the trademark? I think NOT!
King: That's not how that works. Let's get back to the action.
The arena's lights go off and the fans immediately launch into a roaring pop at the sounds of Fall Out Boy's "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark". Anthony Caffrey takes a few moments to stand up at the top of the ramp, looking out at those in the Caffrey Corner before heading down to the ring. Once Caffrey stops looking to the cheering fans, he locks eyes with the opposition. He does not break eye contact with tonight's opponents, especially Rat, as he walks with a laser focus -- at least until he makes it to the ring steps. He reaches down and taps his ankle before pointing at his opponent. He then makes a simple motion to mime breaking it in half as if his opponent's ankle was a simple wishbone. The crowd join along in the motion, knowing the veteran technician has a deep list of broken ankles in his history.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing now, hailing from the greatest city in the world -- Philadelphia, PA. Coming in at 6’4 and 223 pounds .... ANOTHONY CAFFREY!!!
Caffrey stops at the end of the ramp, before grandly gesturing behind him. The house lights fade, leaving the arena in darkness. Yeah Yeah Yeah's "ZERO" starts to pump over the PA system. The tron shows footage of SWAT matches from years past. One man stands bloodied, triumphant through it all. The footage cuts to backstage, where the former champion throws a powder blue leather jacket over his vintage '86 DOA "To Hell and back" tee. Not the best wrestling attire, but its a better look than being half cyborg. As the music hits his cue, he pushes forwards towards the curtains.
You're a zerooooooooooooooOOOOOOoo
What's your name?
No one's gonna ask you
Better find out where they want you to GOOOOOOOooooooooo
Try and hit the spot
Get to know it in the dark
What's your name?
No one's gonna ask you
Better find out where they want you to GOOOOOOOooooooooo
Try and hit the spot
Get to know it in the dark
Purple spotlights search through the crowd, building a sense of anticipation. The audience cheer for the next participant, as repulsive as he is, he's oddly compelling. The erratic movement of the lights start to circle closer together before eventually, the perfect circles of light connect into the body of a large centipede. The visual representation of the insect stalks over the crowd, before racing towards the entranceway. Hitting the black curtains, the purple lights seem to double up, and fold into themselves. Rough hands swatting aside the curtain, the five-time SWAT Dixieland champion pushes his way out into the arena. Clenching his fists, Radu Matei starts to stalk down the aisle in sync with the music.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing now, hailing from Sibiu, Romania. Coming in at 6’2 and 234 pounds .... The Sacrificial Idol, Deathless, Unbreakable M, The Beast of Dixie ...RADU MATEI!!! Together, they are THE PURPLE EMPERORS!
Are they trying to tear him apart like a burning effigy? No. These extended arms are looking for high fives. Taken aback, the Beast of Dixie extends a hand to apprehensively slap one, then another. This is new. Getting into the spirit of it, Radu leans closer to the railings on his travels back and forth, slapping more hands on his way down the aisle.
Hawke: It should be interesting to see how the Purple Emperors do as a tag-team tonight
King: I'm guessing their target is "Royal"- so that's a point from me!
Hawke: Actually they're named after the butterfly
King: What? Minus a point!
Hawke: What points? Where are these points?
Arriving at ringside, Radu lifts the ring curtain to check on his bag of tricks. Nothing has escaped. Probably for the best. Leaving the sack next to the ring steps, Matei slowly ascends to the ring. Caffrey behind him. Adkins and Rat stand defiant in the center. The baby blue jacket is tossed to the side, and Caff and Radu make it into the ring. The four men get in each other's faces, Rat and Caff and Adkins and Radu. The referee tries to split the crews but A CHEAP SHOT FROM RAT MAKES THE ARENA EXPLODE!
Interfed Tag-Team Throw-Down
Rat Bastard and Greg Adkins vs. Anthony Caffrey and Radu Matei
...DING DING!...DING DING!...
The bell rings but dammit that's not gonna make anything easier for the ref. Adkins and Rat are on the attack, laying the smackdown on the Purple Emperors! Adkins irish whips Radu out of the ring and limps over to Rat, where they go to double team Caff. Caff administers a quick headbutt to Rat and a kick to Adkins' good leg. Adkins faceplants and Rat rolls out and Radu climbs up on the apron. P.E. nod to each other in careful acknowledgement of each other's presence, and Caff gets right to work.
He immediately grapevines Greg's bad leg, thinking the limp is due to injury. But the look of shock on his face is petrifying as Greg groans in pleasure and laughs like a psychopath. Caff lets up and scoots back, immediately realizing he has to re-evaluate everything he planned for tonight. Greg is drugged up and Rat might be a little tipsy too? He goes a bit red in the face at the lack of respect towards the match from his opponents. He stamps down on that drugged ankle of Greg but frankly, it doesn't do shit for him. He has a moment to think, before he stamps hard on Greg's good leg, bringing in squeals of discomfort from Guttertrash! A wide grin shows on his face as he takes the fight to Greg's leg!
Hawke: Seems Caffrey has worked out a solid game plan to take down the Dirty Duo. Let's see that plan get into action!
Greg tries to curl in a ball, crawl away, anything to protect himself, but a rain of stomps, kicks, and punches all fall on his leg. Caff tries an ankle lock, but on the left leg. This isn't normal for him so Greg can get out easily. But Greg kicks Caff's leg out, and they're relatively face to face. They trade a few blows on their knees, while both standing in unison. Caff gets shoved back and Greg hits a stiff looking kick to his chest! Caff falls over, holding his chest as Radu steps off the apron to check on him. Rat shouts words of encouragement as Greg limps across the ring. He steps onto the apron and climbs to a turnbuckle, but Caff gets back up and shoves him! He lands balls first on the top rope!
King: Oh no! There goes Adkins' chances of getting laid after the show tonight!
Hawke: Are you sure he's still a sex addict?
King: That's been a character trait of his forever, and his bad habits were reignited after Prince's Ball. I'm certain of it!
Adkins flops to the floor, cupping his babymaker. Caffrey cracks his neck and grabs him under his armpits, dragging him far away from Rat. He tags in Radu and they lifts him to his feet. They both run to opposite sides of the ring and together, Caff hits Greg with a clothesline as Radu nails a chopblock! Greg falls! Caff steps out, jawing off at Rat as Radu has some fun. Radu knees and lays some fists into Adkins. He cowers away, covering himself up. As Radu stands up, Greg uses both legs to kick Matei's legs. Hard. He holds his legs in pain as Greg rolls onto his stomach and crawls across the ring. Greg pushes himself onto all fours, as Radu gets up and begins to run over. Rat reaches out!
King: Who's gonna make it first?
...
...
Hawke: TAG! THE TAG IS MADE!
RAT LEAPS IN, SHOULDER TACKLE TO RADU! HE STANDS, RUNS TO CAFFREY AND CLOBBERS HIM IN THE HEAD! CAFF FALLS TO THE FLOOR AND RAT SPINS AROUND! HE'S FIRED UP! HE CROUCHES BEHIND RADU, AND AS RADU TURNS AROUND HE'S LIFTED AND SLAMMED DOWN WITH A SPIIIINEBUSTAH! Rat circles Radu, grabbing his neck and cranking it! Radu squirms and tries to headbutt his way out of this situation, but a quick thumb to the eye puts those efforts to rest. Rat flips Deathless over and tries to lock in an ankle lock! A shot at Caffrey, who's used that as his finisher for almost a decade! Radu is able to reverse out, trying to lock in his own signature Centipede Lock, but Rat has a firm grip on the ropes before he can lock it in. Rat is back on his feet and stomps on Radu a few times, before he sees Caffrey is back up on the apron. He grabs Radu and irish whips him into Caffrey, making him spear Caffrey through the ropes! Both of the Purple Emperors tumble to the floor as Rat climbs to the top rope. The two men are standing up as Rat jumps! DROP OF 1000 BASTARDS OFF THE TOP ROPE! EVERYONE IS SPRAWLED OUT ON THE FLOOR!
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME!
Clap clap clapclapclap
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME!
Clap clap clapclapclap
Hawke: This is indeed awesome! Rat almost looks like he hasn't lost a step in years!
King: He's been back since February, you say that stuff on their return match not six months later.
Hawke: But Rat hasn't been on his game in how long?
King: Touché.
Rat is able to stagger back to his feet, head in his hands. There are a few small spots of red, he may have busted himself open doing that! He rolls Radu back into the ring as the ref begins to count. As Rat goes to go in CAFFREY KNOCKS RAT OVER! HE GRABS THE ANKLE AND GRAPEVINES! THE PROCESS IS LOCKED IN! RAT SCREAMS IN PAIN AND TAPS ON THE FLOOR, BUT THIS ISN'T FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE! AND EVEN IF IT WAS CAFFREY ISN'T THE LEGAL MAN! THE REF YELLS AT CAFF TO LET UP OR HE'LL DISQUALIFY P.E. BUT CAFFREY HAS ALMOST A CRAZED LOOK IN HIS EYES! THAT'S WHEN GREG FLIES INTO HIM WITH A DROPKICK!
King: It looks like Caffrey was close to snapping there.
Hawke: Snapping mentally or snapping Rat's ankle?
King: Why not both?
Greg rolls Rat into the ring and the ref comes over to check on him. He howls and holds his ankle, clearly in pain. Possibly broken. Caff comes back on the apron and Radu nods to his fellow Emperor. Greg slithers back to his corner as Radu steps forward. The ref tells him to step back so he can make sure Rat is in the right mindset to continue. Radu grabs the Baddest Motherf*cker in the Game and is on the receiving end of an eyepoke again! The ref missed that but sees Rat is able to continue so steps back to do his main job. Rat drags Radu to his corner and Greg tags himself in.
Hawke: Here comes Adkins!
Adkins steps through the ropes and begins to trade blows with Radu, each punch chop and kick traded with a little more vigor than the last. Adkins takes the upper hand, delivering shot after shot to the permed head of Matei! He delivers shot after shot, not holding back. The referee has to drag Adkins off of Radu to make sure he can still compete.
King: Something's gotten under Adkins' skin!
Hawke: Probably the relentless taunts of Radu, taking aim at his recently deceased father and his bad habits.
Radu sports a big grin on his face, as he slowly makes his way to his feet. Adkins is roaring like a bull and then charges, but Radu ducks! Adkins hits the ropes, and Matei lifts him for a back body drop! Greg lands awkwardly on his ankle, collapsing close to his corner. He sees Rat reaching out, telling him he'll cover for him. Greg reaches out, and Rat pumps himself up! But Radu pulls him away! Radu learned his lesson from letting Greg get a hot tag earlier, but he knows Adkins is weak now. He lifts him to his feet and swings for a lariat! Greg ducks, somehow! He hits an enzugiri! Both men fall!
Hawke: The crowd is really biting into this match! The heart and soul of both teams are desperate to make sure they can walk out the winners and get an early advantage to the Tag Team Annihilator Tournament!
King: But they don't get an advantage. This is just for bragging rights.
Hawke: Yes I know. But they'll be the team to watch out for, and they'll have a few extra points if they win!
King: True that!
Greg begins to crawl towards Rat. He knows his ankle cannot support him right now and he needs rest, he needs to recuperate. Radu is still laid out so he log rolls onto his stomach and makes like he's in the middle of some World War 2 trench warfare. Meanwhile, Radu shakes the cobwebs and sees Adkins is too close to Rat. He knows that it'd take a miracle to get to Greg in time for the save. And he was on the end of a beatdown from Rat last cycle so he knows that this is a situation he does not want to be in. He looks back at Caff, hand outstretched and ready for action. He turns back to Greg, then to Caff a few times.
...
...
King: GREG TAGS IN RAT! THE BASTARD IS MAKING A BEELINE FOR RADU!
...
...
Hawke: BUT TO NO AVAIL, CAFFREY IS LEGAL NOW! AND THESE TWO HAVE HISTORY!
King: THEY'RE A POWDER KEG READY TO EXPLODE, AND THEIR PARTNERS HAVE LIT THE FUSES!
Like two angry bulls, they charge at each other, colliding with crossbodies in the ring! They both get up and trade some lightning fast punches, fast and furious style! Caffrey runs the ropes and tries a float-over DDT, but Rat catches him and reverses with an exploder suplex! Down on the mat, Rat begins the slow methodical style of cranking Caff's neck, but Caff quickly headbutts Rat, grabs him around the neck, and drops down in a stunner-like move!
King: Shades of the South Philly Stunner?
The steam Rat was running on has quickly faded. Caffrey delivers some fast strikes to the general area of Rat's right leg, doing some fast damage. Knowing that he can end it here, he wraps the grapevine and The Process is locked in!
Caffrey: This is how you do an ankle lock, asshole!
Rat: My, aren't we angry and violent today? AHHHH!
Caffrey tried to torque and twist Rat's ankle.
Caffrey: No shame in tapping out, buddy! Hundreds have before!
Rat: Go to hell!
Rat kicks Caffrey back and he stumbles into his corner, smashing his head on the turnbuckle. Immediately recognizing the danger they could be in, Radu tags himself in, having refilled just a bit of his gas. He plows over Rat with a shoulder tackle, and then he charges at Adkins! Greg's just gotten back on the apron and he gets dropkicked off the apron! He falls into the gate and takes a nasty tumble on the floor. He clutches his ankle and a doctor comes to check on him.
King: Looks like Greg may be out of this!
Satisfied with his work, he turns to Rat who's getting to his feet. He helps him up before driving his thumb deep into Rat's eye! Payback for earlier! Some more stiff strikes and he stands up, walking over to check on Caff outside. BUT RAT IS BACK UP, HE CLOBBERS RADU AND LIFTS HIM UP! BASTARD BOMB! HE COVERS RADU, BUT ONLY GETS A TWO COUNT! RAT STOMPS ON RADU, but then he looks around. He looks and points to the turnbuckle. The crowd cheer!
King: I think I know what Rat's going to do!
Hawke: Drop of 1000 Bastards off of the corner of the Purple Emperors! Absolute insult to injury!
Rat Bastard climbs the turnbuckles, he's gonna follow up that Bastard Bomb with the Drop of 1000 Bastards! CAFFREY GRABS HIS LEG! RAT HITS A CLOSING REMARKS ON CAFF, THE DISRESPECT! BUT THE DISTRACTION DID ENOUGH! RADU GRABS RAT AND SUPERPLEXES HIM FROM THE TOP ROPE! IN PAIN, HE HOLDS A FIST IN THE AIR! CAFF GETS A CLAPPING CHANT FOR RADU! GREG IS LOOPY OUTSIDE, HE CAN'T STAND ON HIS DRUGGED ANKLE! RADU STANDS AND RUNS THE ROPES, OMUKADE PRESS!
Hawke: That's it! That's all she wrote!
King: Wait, look at Caffrey!
Caff is waving his arms around, wildly yelling at Radu. He comes over and Caff explains, he needs this win. To right the wrong from Overheated. Radu looks back at Rat, RUNS AND STOMPS AGAIN! OMUKADE PRESS AGAIN! He turns to Caff, nodding... and TAGS HIM IN!
King: Radu is letting Caffrey take the win for the team!
Hawke: He knows how much pinning Rat means to Caff. I'm sure down the line when Radu wants to specifically pin someone Caff will return this favor.
Caffrey saunters over to Rat and lays on him like one would when posing to be painted like a French girl.
ONE...
TWO...
THREE!!!
...DING DING!...DING DING!...
Hawke: The Purple Emperors have defeated the Dirty Duo!
King: And more importantly, Caffrey has defeated Rat Bastard!
Radu rolls into the ring, mystery bag in hand as Bonnie makes the official announcement.
Bonnie Jenkins: The winners of this match via pinfall, Anthony Caffrey and Radu Matei, THE PURRRPLE EMPERORRRRRRS!
Caffrey and Radu have their hands held high, before Caffrey has a bag shoved into his hands. He looks at it and back at Radu, who nods at him. He opens it up and immediately almost vomits.
King: What could possibly be in that bag?
Caffrey takes another look at Radu, who gestures to Rat's corpse. Caff takes a deep breath and DUMPS A BAG OF MAGGOTS ALL OVER RAT BASTARD! THE CROWD GROAN IN DISGUST AS CAFFREY RELISHES IN HIS PERSONAL VICTORY!
Hawke: What a despicable act! Caffrey won fairly tonight, but added insult to injury here!
King: (Retching)
Hawke: We'll, uh... we'll take a short break, show an advertisement paid for by NPW, and when we get back we've got some high flying action as El Combatiente and Maverick face off! Don't touch those remotes!
King: (Still retching)
Hawke: Can we perhaps get a new trash can out here? And maybe an exterminator?
Northern Pro Wrestling is a proving ground. No gimmicks, no cliches, no stereotypes. The very best professional wrestlers come to NPW to evolve while honing their craft with the goal to become the very best. Do you think you have what it takes? Come and tread water with our sharks and see how long you last.
Hawke: Well King, I've been looking forward to this one!
King: Can El Combatiente pull off the win for SWAT tonight?!
Bonnie Jenkins: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Entering first, weighing in at two hundred and nineteen pounds...The SWAT TV Champion, El Combatiente!
*The opening of the Game’s “One Blood” hits the pa system and El Combatiente follows his manager Javier onto the stage. They look around soaking up there surrounding until El Combatiente breaks into a full sprint for the ring and slides in. Javier slowly walks to ringside and takes his position at ringside as El Combatiente stretches in the ring preparing for his match to begin*
Hawke: El Combatiente has been tearing it up in SWAT recently, currently holding their coveted Television Championship!
King: His opponent is a champion as well, Hawke! The DW World Heavyweight Champion no less - and here he comes!
Bonnie Jenkins: His opponent, weighing in at one hundred and ninety-five pounds... the Destiny Wrestling World Champion, Maverick!
*"BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE... YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE... BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE... YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!"
Once the final word is heard, the eyes on the screen turn to red and everything cuts to black, the sounds of "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails is heard as all of the house lights continue to stay off, the fans using whatever light source they can use to illuminate in front of them.
"HEAD LIKE A HOLE! BLACK AS YOUR SOUL! I'D RATHER DIE THAN GIVE YOU CONTROL!"
The sudden change of lighting on the entrance ramp appears, the light-up jacket of The Prince. Once the bridge of the song kicks in, all of the house lights shine down on Maverick, who looks out to the many in attendance with a devious smirk on his face, he raises his arms up and stands with his arms stretched out wide, he lowers his arms and makes his way down to the ring in a slow manner, taking his time as the chorus of boos rain down on him. Upon making it to ringside, he circles around the ring as if stalking his opponent. He climbs up the steps and walks along the apron, brushing his feet along the apron before entering through the middle ropes. Maverick gets right into the face of El Combatiente until the referee pushes him away and then he walks over to his corner as he prepares for the match to begin.*
Interfed Challenge
Maverick vs El Combatiente
DING! DING! DING
Maverick rushes out of the gate for a running missile dropkick to the SWAT TV Champion, but El Combatiente has the move scouted and rolls to the side - springing back to his feet and running the ropes, on the rebound catching a standing Maverick off guard with an impressive sling-blade! The DW World Heavyweight Champion swivels back to his feet, slightly surprised, and finds him self on the receiving end of a dropkick that knocks him through the ropes and to the outside; where he lands on his feet and runs his hands through his hair, trying to get his head in the game.
Hawke: What an impressive opening for El Combatiente here!
King: Maverick needs to either break him down, or join him in this fast paced neck break action!
Hawke: Either way he's got a task ahead of him!
King: --And he's going to have to decide quickly because here comes a--!
TOPE SUICIDA! The SWAT TV Champion dives through the middle rope and crashes both he and Maverick into the ringside barrier, quickly grabbing him by his hair and rolling him back into the ring where he scales the apron and grabs a firm hold on the ropes, shaking them before jumping up and springboarding ontop of the staggering Maverick!
Hawke: Springboard crossbody!
King: It connects! --But Maverick rolls through!
Mav manages to catch El Combatiente in the air and rolls backwards, storming to one foot with the SWAT TV Champion cradled in his arms. Veins pop out of his arms and legs as he powers to his feet and roars at the top of his lungs, dropping Combatiente upon his knee before rolling him off - taking a few steps back - and kneeing him in the jaw, rattling the man behind the mask! The DW World Heavyweight Champion takes a few more steps back, heading into the corner, before charging out of the gate and finally being able to nail EC with the running missile dropkick! The SWAT TV Champion flies back-first into the opposite turnbuckle and drops forward on his hands and knees, grasping for air - having been winded by the impact.
Hawke: This is Maverick's chance to decide his game plan! Does he try to out-match Combatiente's speed?! Or will he take this opportunity to break him down?!
King: Well he'd be smarter to take the second option, but knowing Mav, he's not one to like being out-done!
Mav rushes over to El Combatiente and grabs him by the mask, pulling him up face to face and grinning - he drags the SWAT TV Champ onto his feet before shoving him against the ropes and running the opposite ones at the same time, on the rebound going for a handspring enzuigiri that the SWAT TV Champion ducks - El Combatiente, having rolled forward, springs back to his feet and jumps on the opposite ropes - springboarding off of them for a catch tornado-DDT that spikes the DW World Heavyweight Champion on the top of his head!
King: Well it looks like Mav chose the second option! And he's paying for it!
Hawke: The thing is, this is just going to make him try even harder to out-match Combatiente!
El Combatiente doesn't waste a minute, scaling the turnbuckle and waiting for Maverick to rise. The DW World Heavyweight Champion stumbles to one knee, shaking his rocked head, he takes one look at Combatiente at the top of the ropes and hastily decides to join him up there - charging up the turnbuckles and grabbing Combatiente by his head!
King: Mav needs to realise that this isn't the way forward before its too late!
Hawke: El Combatiente is a master of the ropes! It's where he's most deadly, King!
Maverick plants a few elbow strikes on the jaw of Combatiente on top of the ropes, allowing himself a little breather, before jumping in the air and wrapping his legs around the SWAT TV Champion's head! He sends him rocketing forwards for an avalanche hurricanrana! Through the air El Combatiente twirls! Maverick lands with a thud on his chest as El Combatiente finally hits the mat with a thud, his two feet planted firmly in the ground -- a grin on his face.
King: El Combatiente has landed on his feet -- And he's smiling!
Hawke: Mav won't like this one bit!
Mav, eyes wide and slightly fuming, rushes to his feet and powers towards the SWAT TV Champion for a devastating lariat, but Combatiente ducks the attempt and runs the ropes again. Springboarding off of them once more! He flies through the air but connects with nothing as Mav rolls out of the ring! Shaking his head.
Hawke: Now that was smart on Maverick's behalf! He needs to do more of this if he wants a chance of winning!
King: Take your time Mav, wear him down through brute force!
El Combatiente runs to the corner turnbuckle and scales the ropes, diving off of them for a moonsault upon the DW World Heavyweight Champion ringside! Maverick manages to step back from the attempt and as Combatiente lands on his feet with a crash, Maverick shoves him head first into the corner post! A deafening ringing sound follows through that drops the masked man upon his knees. Mav grabs him by his head and looks out at the crowd, looking at their cheers and their boos, he nods his head with passion before rolling El Combatiente back into the ring. Sliding in with him.
King: This is the breaking point for Mav, he needs to not mess up here!
Hawke: He needs to remove Combatiente's ability to fly, King!
Mav immediately goes to stomping on Combatiente's legs, wearing them down and working on them with a handful of leglocks and bending of the joints. He takes his time in ensuring that the SWAT TV Champion can't wriggle free, landing a few strikes to his head here and there to keep him firmly planted.
Hawke: What's Combatiente's game plan now, King?
King: He needs to keep guard, wait for Mav to make a slight mistake, exploit that mistake and explode free into a flurry of combat!
Mav tries his best to keep focused, ignoring the chants from the limited capacity crowd that favour Combatiente! Yet no matter how hard he focuses his attention on keeping Combatiente grounded, the chants just seem to be getting louder - almost as though the venue was at maximum capacity. His mind races, am I boring them? Am I letting them down?!
Hawke: Mav needs to ignore these chants, fast!
King: I fear Mav is too much of a showman, Joey! He's a natural crowd-pleaser!
Combatiente notices Mav's gaze towards the fans and takes advantage of the situation, nailing Maverick with a back elbow to the jaw before following up with a stiff kick and roll! Breaking free of Maverick's clutches! The DW World Heavyweight Champion immediately gauges his mistake and charges to his feet, chasing after Combatiente who runs towards the turnbuckle! Running up them Combatiente flips backwards over the top of Mav's head and lands firmly behind the World Champion, jumping up and going for a reverse spike-rana! Mav grabs a firm hold on the turnbuckle though, not allowing himself to be chucked backwards! But it seems he has held on too tight, he rips off the turnbuckle as Combatiente stumbles backwards and manages to drop Maverick with the maneuver!
King: Uh oh, an exposed turnbuckle! This is not safe for either man, Joey!
Hawke: Let's not forget that Maverick just got dropped on his head, again, King!
El Combatiente swivels to a knee before gauging the exposed steel, his translator, Javier Nunez, hops up onto the ring skirt and shouts something at him in Spanish! Pointing towards the turnbuckle! Combatiente shakes his head and shouts something back, scrambling to his feet and picking up the pad from the mat. Looking at it long and hard.
King: Is... Is Combatiente looking to put it back on?!
Hawke: I think he wants to make sure this match has a clean outcome, King!
Walking on over to the turnbuckle he attempts to tie it back on, but is taken back, rather literally, when Maverick rolls him up from behind with a surprise pinfall attempt! The referee slides into place!
ONE! TWO! THR--
Combatiente explodes out and rolls back up, the pad still in his hand - Mav swivels back to his feet and goes for a clothesline but the SWAT TV Champion ducks! He charges forwards and skids to a halt just before the exposed metal, turning to see Maverick who charges at him for a devastating V-Trigger! With his luchador-esque reflexes Combatiente rolls out of the way and Maverick's knee crunches against the metal! Dropping him to the mat in a jolt of sheer pain. Javier Nunez applauds from the ring-skirt but Combatiente seems devastated! Shaking his head. The referee slides in to check on Mav.
Hawke: This isn't how Combatiente wanted things to go, King!
King: I'm not gonna lie, Mav asked for it with that roll up!
Hawke: I don't think Mav realised Combatiente was trying to put it back on!
Mav can barely move, a doctor now joining the referee by the side of the ring. Javier Nunez calls the SWAT TV Champion over, who places his arm around him and whispers some things into his ear. Combatiente shakes his head and pushes him away, kneeling over the ref, the doctor and Mav. The DW World Champ grabs him by the head and rolls him up into a SHOCK CRADLE as the referee bounces away and slaps his hand on the mat, visibly surprised!
ONE! TWO! THREE--
Hawke: NOOO! El Combatiente kicks out!
King: I can't decide whether that was the best decision Mav has ever made, or damn near suicide!
Combatiente springs back to his feet, shaken, eyes wide - Mav swivels to his feet and plants a foot forward to attack but drops to his knee, his face red with pain. That move was out of pure desperation.
Hawke: It looks like Mav was trying to prove to everyone that he was still in this! That he wouldn't give up! B- But it seems he may have to stop with his knee being tweaked!
King: I almost respect the determination, Joey! But damn if this kid ain't taking some big risks!
El Combatiente walks on up to him but is clubbed in the gut by a stiff punch! Then another!
Hawke: Combatiente is going to have no other choice than to fight back!
King: Not like this, Joey! Not like this!
Combatiente takes a stiff slap to the face before pulling Maverick in and kicking him in the gut, swivelling around and putting his head between his legs! The SWAT TV Champ lifts him high in the air and shakes his head before looking for the...
King: STREET JUSTICE--
Hawke: NO! Maverick reverses it into a REVERSE SPIKE-RANA!
Combatiente drops on his head, his finisher reversed! Maverick was goading him into it so he could reverse! Stumbling on one knee he would drag himself across the ring and pull Combatiente back to his feet, hooking one of his arms and lifting him high in the air for the... DARK HARVEST!
Hawke: THE PATENTED UNDERHOOK BRAINBUSTER! Combatiente might be done here!
King: What a shocking turn of events that would be!
Mav would fall on top and drape his arm across the SWAT TV Champion's chest! The referee counting!
ONE... TWO... THREE--
Hawke: KICKOUT! Combatiente has kicked out, King!!
King: Mav hasn't worn him down enough! The luchador won't go down so easily, Joey! He may be old, but he can still hang!
Mav runs his hands through his hair, shaking his head - he turns to the referee to double check the count before grasping the ropes and pulling himself to his feet, trying to not put too much pressure on his damaged knee. Combatiente slowly stirs as Maverick shouts at him to get up! When Combatiente makes it to one knee Mav staggers forward and pulls him in -- but the SWAT TV Champ rolls him up into a quick cradle! The referee once more slaps the mat!
ONE! TWO! THREE--
Maverick just manages to break out! He drags himself back to his feet as Combatiente uses the ropes to get up! Mav charges at him but Combatiente kicks the bad knee and Mav drops! Combatiente hooks Mav's head between his legs and lifts him up high in the air! He shouts something in Spanish before dropping Maverick with the... STREET JUSTICE! Maverick's neck and head crunches against the mat!
Hawke: THAT'S HIS FINISHER KING! THE STREET JUSTICE VERTIBREAKER!
King: I FEAR ITS ALL OVER, JOEY!
Combatiente crawls on over to Maverick's prone body and hooks the leg, closing his eyes. The referee drops for the last time!
ONE... TWO... THREE...!
DING! DING! DING!
Bonnie Jenkins: Here is your winner... Representing SWAT... He is the SWAT TV Champion... ELLLLLLLLL COMBATIENTEEEEEEEEEE!
Hawke: Wow, what a showing by both men!
King: Combatiente has just proven he can hang with the new guard! It may not have been completely clean, but damn it was definitive!
The SWAT TV Champion would be handed his belt as he stumbled onto one knee, his translator joining him with a beaming smile.
"DO YOU LIKE ROCK 'N ROLL?! DO YOU LIVE AND LET DIE?! COME AND JOIN THE MOSH PIT KNOWN AS J-ROK, THE HOTTEST AND HEAVIEST PROMOTION IN THE XHF NETWORK! WE'RE VIOLENT, WE'RE HIGH SPEED, WE ARE AMAZING!"
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest has been scheduled for one fall and is for the XHF Global Tag Team championships!
"花を焼べて 詩を焼べて
誰より険しく美しく
あの日の傷ももらった愛も
全て焼べて 光の方へ"
誰より険しく美しく
あの日の傷ももらった愛も
全て焼べて 光の方へ"
With those words "Tsuki to Hanataba" plays its way into the arena. Shortly afterwards Nausicaä, holding a stuffed cat she calls Charles in her hands, appears upon the stage with Rin Kubo on her left and Shizuku on her right. Suzuki move both of Charles' upper paws out for the two brunettes fist bump each paw before the three begin to head down the ramp way.
Bonnie Jenkins: And the challengers, weighing in at a combined weight of one hundred and twenty two point eight pounds...Nausicaa Suzuki and Charles. They are SKY Force!
When their names are announced the three are sitting on the apron facing the hard camera before back rolling over the bottom rope and into the ring in union. They stop their rolls in a way that ends with Shizuku on her left knee, Rin on her right knee and Nausicaä sitting in the middle, holding Charles close as her SKY Force comrade rest their arms across her back. Together the three stand up, approach the ropes and stand on the bottom rope. Kubo having her right fist out towards the crowd and her left on her right breast, Yamamoto mirroring her and Suzuki holding Charles out towards the crowd.
King: So...Charles is going to wrestle in this match?
Hawke: Is that a problem? Charles is a superstar in Jrok.
King: He's an less than a pound of fuzz. How could he be a threat to anyone? Especially these guys that each outweigh Suzuki and Charles combined! I hope her sisters plan in getting involved in this match.
Bonnie Jenkins: And their opponents, the XHF Global Tag Team Champions. They are a combined weight of four hundred and twenty-five pounds...Nephilim and Necrophage. They are Desolation!
PLEASE REMAIN CALM; THE END HAS ARRIVED.
WE CANNOT SAVE YOU; ENJOY THE RIDE.
THIS IS THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
DON'T CALL IT A WARNING...
THIS IS A WAR.
WE CANNOT SAVE YOU; ENJOY THE RIDE.
THIS IS THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
DON'T CALL IT A WARNING...
THIS IS A WAR.
'Parasite Eve' rips through the speakers as through the entrance way, now shrouded in fog, emerge the masked figures of Nephilim and Necrophage. The two men waste no time heading to the ring, seemingly indifferent to the fans in attendance as they step between the ropes, ready for a fight.
Hawke: I think each one of Desolation might be bigger than all of SKY Force put together.
King: That's what I've been saying!
XHF Global Tag Team Championship Match
SKY Force (Nausicaa Suzuki and Charles) vs. Desolation ©
As the bell rings to start the match, Nausicaa Suzuki sets Charles in the corner and heads to the middle of the ring. Nephilim does the same. Walking calmly to the middle of the ring so that he can stand to Nausicaa, looking down at her miniscule size compared to him.
Nephilim: All childish dreams come to an end at some point in a girl's life. Your dreams end tonight.
Nausicaa joins the ends of her thumbs and index fingers to form a triangle with the gap before shrinking it down to form a small triangle, placing the gap on her right eye - closing the left eye while doing so - and appears to be looking around.
Suzuki: It looks like you can indeed call me Jack tonight.
Nephilim: Jack?
Suzuki: Jack the Giant Slayer!
Nausicaa takes off running away from Nephilim and on the rebound, hits a dropkick to Nephilim's right knee that nearly brings the beast down to the mat! As it stands, Nephilim brings a meaty fist down as Nausicaa starts to get up and bashes her on the top of the head as hard as he can to put her into a seated position.
Nephilim: Jack cannot slay the Giant. David cannot defeat Goliath. You will not defeat me.
Nausicaa starts to get right back up but a punishing series of double axe handles flattens her back to the mat. She will not be stopped, getting back up to all fours, but Nephilim boots her from the ring with a hard kick to the ribcage! Rin Kubo and Shizuku Yamamoto run around the ring to Nausicaa's side to check on her and help her up. Nephilim reaches down to the nearby Nausicaa and grabs her by the hair. He pulls her back up onto the ring apron and then into the ring. He hurls her across the ring in what resembles an irish whip. On the rebound, Nephilim reaches for the returning Suzuki, but she drop kicks him in the knee. Nephilim grasps at his knee in pain while Nausicaa gets back up to her feet. She kicks Nephilim in the other shin, bringing a shout of pain from the large man. She goes for a body slam, but doesn't get Nephilim into the air right away. He elbows her in the side, knocking her down to the mat. Nephilim hits a moonsault double stomp to the midsection, knocking the breath out of the woman. He rips her up off of the mat and hits a full nelson slam! He stomps her a few times before tagging in Necrophage. They pull Nausicaa up and whip her back first into the corner. Nephilim retreats to the corner while Necrophage puts a hand to Nausicaa's throat, forcing her back into the corner. The ref yells at him to break the choke and he does, after a five count. Necrophage whips Nausicaa into the ropes and comes after her for a discus bionic elbow, but Nausicaa ducks under the blow and goes to the other side while Necrophage continues to run to the ropes. The two meet in the center of the ring with Nausicaa leveling Necrophage with a bicycle kick! She rushes to her own corner and tags in Charles!
King: What's a stuffed cat going to do against these monsters?
Hawke: I guess that we're about to find out?
Nausicaa Suzuki picks up Charles and looks at Necrophage who had started advancing with a smile. Nausicaa flings Charles as hard as she can, striking Necrophage in the temple and sending him down to the mat with a crash!
King: What the heck? Charles with a strike to the head!
Hawke: See? I knew that Charles could do something.
Necrophage stands up, blood trickling down from a gash from where Charles hit him in the head. He picks up Charles and looks closely at it face to face. Nausicaa runs into the ring and drop kicks Charles into Necrophage's face hard enough that the man's nose is mashed, blood spilling from his face to splatter all over Charles. Necrophage takes a few steps backwards and falls onto his back.
Hawke: I guess that Charles is drawing lots of blood!
King: He's gotta be weighted somehow.
Nausicaa grabs Charles, raises him up, and drops him onto Necrophage's chest. She raises her foot up into the air and brings it down to stomp Charles, getting Necrophage to spray blood from his mouth.
King: Why is Nausicaa allowed to stay in the ring while Charles is wrestling?
Hawke: Could it be because the cat is an inanimate object?
Nausicaa picks Charles up and brings it down as Necrophage starts to sit up and slams him in the face with the cat to level Necrophage with a splatter of blood across the mat! Nephilim steps into the ring to get Nausicaa away and gets a gut full of stuffed cat for his efforts. Nephilim is doubled over and dropped to his knees. Nausicaa brings Charles back and slams Nephilim in the side of the head with it to add a splatter of his blood across the mat as well. Now, the ref has started to go suspicious and walks over to collect Charles, nearly dropping the stuffed cat. He holds the stuffed animal by the head and the cat's stitches break to reveal a small cannonball that falls to the mat! The ref shakes his head, passing the now empty stuffed cat to Rin Kubo and rolling the ball out of the ring.
King: Looks like Charles was fixed to be a brutal weapon. Now wonder she chose him as a tag team partner.
Hawke: Right. Guess that Suzuki is alone now.
Nephilim rolls back to his feet and goes back to his corner. Necrophage stands up, looking very angry. Nausicaa Suzuki takes a few steps backwards while swallowing hard.
Suzuki: All in good fun?
Necrophage tags in Nephilim and the two begin to stalk the retreating Nausicaa, who has no one to tag in. Nausicaa throws a drop kick to Nephilim, who blocks the move with both hands. Necrophage goes to the top rope while Nephilim grabs Nausica and sets her up for the vertebreaker. Necrophage comes off the top rope to grab Nausicaa's legs to spike the move, leaving Nausicaa Suzuki laying in the middle of the ring as Necrophage exits the ring.
Hawke: That was Nephilim's finishing move, but spiked. This could be it for SKY Force.
King: Yeah, I gotta admit that Suzuki did well, but even she cannot compete with two monsters alone.
Nephilim goes for an arrogant pinfall, placing a foot onto Suzuki's chest and flexing his muscles for a booing audience. The ref gets into position.
One
Two
Three-NO! Nausicaa gets a shoulder up!
Nephilim looks down at Nausicaa Suzuki as if he cannot believe that she just kicked out of his pin attempt. He pulls Nausicaa to her feet and hits a ranhei, known as Desanctify, and goes for the pinfall again. This time he hooks the leg.
One
Two
Thre-Suzuki kicks out!
Nephilim kneels up, looking to the referee as if he can't believe it. The ref looks nervous at Nephilim's glare, but holds up two fingers so he knows for sure that he failed to put her down. Nephilim stands up and pulls Nausicaa up and hurls her into the ropes. He goes for a lariat on the rebound, but Nausicaa ducks under the extended arm and keeps running for the ropes! Nephilim spins around to get ready for Nausicaa, but catches a running big boot to the face that plants him to the mat! She goes for the pinfall!
One
Two
Thr-Nephilim kicks out!
Hawke: Nausicaa Suzuki nearly upset the champions right there!
King: Wouldn't that have been something.
Nausicaa Suzuki goes to the top rope while Nephilim slowly gets back to his feet and hits a missile drop kick from on high! Nausicaa practically levitates across the ring after knocking down Nephilim, drop kicking Necrophage from the ring corner. She turns back to the downed Nephilim and hits the package piledriver known as Pandemonium! She goes for the pinfall as Rin Kubo runs around the ring to attack the downed Necrophage!
One
Two
Three!
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of the match and NEW XHF Global Tag Team champions...SKY FORCE!
Nausicaa Suzuki stands in the middle of the ring with her partners in SKY Force to celebrate as the sky opens up with a torrential downpour, cleansing the blood splattered across the mat.
Hawke: It's been looking like rain and now we have it! I wonder if we'll be able to have the main event if this keeps up?
King: They'll have the main event come hell or high water...literally.
Welcome to the Gun Show
We open up in the office of Venom's gym. Magnus is sitting at his desk with his ECF Championship sitting high on his right shoulder. He waves at the camera with what should be his right hand, but it's a second left arm and the wave looks very awkward. His smile fades knowing how awkward he looks.
Magnus: Thank you for tuning into All That Glitters, the show that is headlined by GUNS very own Rob Arnold, YOUR X*Crown Champion. What you will see tonight is exactly what you can see on every Gun Show, except Rob faces much lesser talent on our show, but I digress.
Magnus takes a breath and while he does Goldbear II walks behind him. You cannot really tell it is Goldbear II because only the middle of him can be seen in the tight frame, but it is clearly a bear and a honking bear penis.
Magnus: The Gun Show is a place for talent to shine against much lesser talent. When you tune in you get bears, borgs, the members of the GUNS, a little bit of BEEEEEEEF and the X*Crown Champion Rob Freakin' Arnold!
Magnus is getting noticeably excited, and so is Goldbear II right over his shoulder.
Magnus: So tune in to the Gun Show. We're a bi-weekwheneverwefeellikeit show located in Atlanta and you can catch us at anytime on the XHF Network.
Over his shoulder Goldbear II reaches down and scratches his balls and his giant cock nearly pokes Magnus in the ear. Magnus smacks the table and smiles towards the camera.
Magnus: I nailed it right? That felt good. This should be great for the show.
BEEF: We're still rolling boss.
Magnus: Why?
BEEF: Because you never told me to cut.
Magnus: Well cut damn it!
The scene begins to fade as Magnus reaches up to scratch his ear and accidentally scratches Goldbear II's penis causing Goldbear II to let out a mighty roar.
Bonnie Jenkins: And now we have come to the main event of the evening that is a contest scheduled for one fall! It is for the XHF X*Crown! Featuring first the challenger from Boston, Massachusetts…”the Messiah of Mayhem” Dylan Black!
Dylan Black’s entrance music begins as he walks out from the back, though it’s hard to hear the music over the downpour of rain coming from the dark clouds in the sky. Dylan Black walks out from the back and is almost immediately drenched with rain. He stands with his arms in the air, taking in the booing of the crowd.
Hawke: Is it even a good idea to be having the match in this rain?
King: You think that they would call off the Super Bowl from a little rain?
Just then, lightning arcs across the sky with a thunderous boom. Dylan smiles as the very gods themselves announce his entrance into the match. He walks his way to the ring, literally unable to become any more wet from the rain.
Hawke: I remember Dylan losing his metal hand at Night of Champions. What’s going on now? Does he have two cybernetic hands and...a leg?
King: Champoon Wrestling is especially hard on Dylan as he takes on the big bad guy there.
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent...he is from Bristol, England and he is the XHF X*Crown champion...Rob Arnold!
The lights dim down as the echoing intro to "St Patrick" by PVRIS begins to fill the arena and a single spotlight hits the entrance.
"You give me something to talk about (something to talk about), HEY."
The song bursts into life, and Rob Arnold slowly enters the arena. Dressed in ring gear and an all black hoodie which restricts the view of his face, he surveys his surroundings, nodding as he can feel the crowd cheering as he steps towards the top of the ramp. Staring ahead of him, offering little but a trademark smirk he places his right foot forward and takes to a knee and then flings back his hood with his right hand. Arnold stares straight ahead towards the ring once more, before slowly standing up and making his way to the ring. Rob approaches the ring and runs his hand along the apron before approaching and walking up the steps, and then through the ropes and into the ring. Arnold heads straight for the opposite corner and climbs the second turnbuckle and smirks, before slowly raising his arms out wide, feeding from the crowd's energy in the process. Another smirk, and he hops back down, removing his hoodie, ready for action. He hands his X*Crown championship belt representation to the referee to hold over his head and then hand over to the timekeeper.
Hawke: That hoodie must weigh a ton for Rob when he took it off.
King: A ton? Rob is weight training?
Hawke: No, it must weigh a ton from the rain.
King: Ohhh that makes sense.
With the rain making visibility poor at best, the crowd begin to slowly work their way from the stands to the field around the ring. Social distancing be damned. Good behavior be damned. Security guards move in and prevent anyone from coming within three feet of the ring just in case the wrestlers should exit the ring.
Hawke: We have ten thousand people moving in on the ring.
King: This is going to be like a lumberjack match from Hell!
Hawke: I hope security can keep the audience back without bloodshed.
King: Oh we probably going to see some kind of bloodshed between security and the crowd.
XHF X*Crown Championship Match
Dylan Black vs Rob Arnold ©
The bell sounds to start the match as Dylan Black glances to see that the crowd has gone from being in the stands to being a muddy mosh pit from the rain. Rob Arnold gets within visibility range and smirks as lightning overhead casts everything into crazy shadows for a second. The thunderous boom echoing throughout the now mostly empty arena.
Arnold: You still want to do this?
Dylan sneers, getting into a fighting stance.
Black: More than anything.
Arnold: Then, bring it, boy!
Dylan makes the first move, clocking Rob across the jaw with a hard right hand. Rob responds with one of his own, rocking Dylan backwards a few steps. Dylan grits his teeth and punches Rob again, this time drawing blood and staggering Rob backwards a few steps. Rob Arnold spits blood onto the mat, which is quickly washed away by the pouring rain. He hits several European uppercuts before bringing Dylan to the mat with a snap suplex. Rob Arnold hovers nearby as Dylan Black gets up to his feet. Rob sends Dylan into the corner and follows him at a run. He goes for a high knee, but Dylan moves out of the way so that Rob crashes into the corner! Dylan grabs Rob from behind, hitting a German suplex to the middle of the ring. Both men are quickly back to their feet where Dylan slaps the taste out of Rob's mouth, following up with a forearm to the side of the head. Dylan hits a package piledriver that splashes in a puddle in the middle of the ring. Dylan goes for the pinfall!
One
Tw-Rob Arnold kicks out!
Hawke: Dylan on the offensive!
King: He going to need to do more than that if he going to be champion.
Dylan stands up with Rob rolling to his feet. Rob catches a straight jab in his hand. He twists the arm and hyperextends the elbow. Dylan flips out of the arm wringer and drops down with a spin to sweep the legs out from underneath Rob Arnold. Dylan stands back up, catching Rob as he rises, and hits a hammerlock ddt! Dylan stands up, pulls Rob to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. He hits a shotgun dropkick that sends him back to the mat.
Hawke: Dylan keeps this up and he will be the new X*Crown champion!
King: He's bound to choke. You know that he will.
Dylan stands back, waiting for Rob Arnold to get up. He goes for a superkick, but Rob Arnold catches the boot and drops an elbow to the side of Dylan's knee to try to bend it sideways. Dylan starts to jump back to his feet, but as his feet hit the mat, Rob kicks him in the side of the same knee that he elbowed to send Dylan back to the mat! Rob picks up Dylan and hits a double underhook backbreaker before going for the pin on his own.
One
Tw-Dylan kicks out!
Hawke: Dylan still in this!
King: He's going to regret that too.
Rob Arnold stands up and pulls Dylan Black up and throws him to the ropes. On the rebound, Dylan hits an ear pop as Rob hits a knee lift to the midsection. Both men go down to the mat. Rob is the first to get up, watching as Dylan gets up to all fours. He jumps up in the air, aiming for a stomp to the back of Dylan's head, but Dylan rolls out of the way for Rob to stomp the mat. Dylan gets to his feet, his grin made to look maniacal by the lightning crawling across the sky overhead.
Black: Too slow, old man!
Arnold: Next time.
Dylan claps his hands together with a loud clang. He slowly separates the hands, lightning streaming between the two hands. He lunges at Rob Arnold, getting in two chest palm strikes.
Black: CLEAR!
Rob Arnold lets out a scream of pain as the electricity jolts through his system. Dylan Black releases him from the power and Rob Arnold falls to his back, two hand shaped prints burned into his chest. He lays there as his heart struggles to regain its proper heart beat.
Hawke: That looks like an upgrade to his cyberhands.
King: I blame Jeremiah Vastrix.
Hawke: Probably.
King: I wonder what else that leg can do?
Hawke: I'm sure we'll find out before the night is up.
Dylan Black smirks as the crowd boo him and goes for the pinfall.
One
Two
Thre-Rob Arnold kicks out!
Dylan Black stands up, watching as Rob Arnold is slower to get to his feet. Dylan kicks Rob in the gut with that metal leg and takes him down to the mat with a gutwrench suplex. Dylan drops down to his knees at Rob's side, lightning arcing from his hands as he gets ready to palm the sides of Rob's head.
Hawke: Oh jeeze. He's going to kill Rob!
King: A dead champion can't kick out!
Rob springs into action, grabbing Dylan by the wrists and turning his hands to his own chest. Dylan lets out a shriek as the power of his own hands passes through his own body. He falls backwards to the mat as Rob releases him, smoke slowly lifting from two hand shaped burns on Dylan's own chest. Rob Arnold gets to his feet, goes to the ropes as Dylan starts to rise, and goes for a low knee that bashes Dylan in the face! The back of Dylan's head bounces off of the mat as blood flies from his nose in a high arc through the air. Not that it stains the mat with the torrential rain. Lightning flashes across the sky, seeming to get closer to the ring action as if the gods themselves have decided to take a personal interest in this match. Rob Arnold gets Dylan Black up and hurls him into the corner. He follows with a high knee that Dylan deflects with his hands. He follows this up with a one-two combination of punches that sends Rob Arnold turning and falling onto his face.
Hawke: Those metal hands are such an advantage that Dylan shouldn't have them!
King: And what? Wrestle with stumps? Oh and no leg.
Hawke: I suppose.
Dylan gets Rob up to his feet and plants him onto the top turnbuckle in a seated position. He follows up and gets Rob standing. Dylan inflicts a Spanish Fly from the top rope, sending them both crashing to the mat! Dylan rolls over onto Rob for the pinfall!
One
Two
Thr-Rob Arnold kicks out!
Dylan kneels up, looking to the referee in shock. The ref flashes a two count at Dylan, who growls as he stands up. He watches as Rob slowly gets to his feet and goes for a superkick! Rob catches the foot as it flies towards his face and leans in with a punch to the nuts that sends Dylan crashing to the mat and curled up into a ball. The ref counsels Rob against low blows.
Arnold: What? He can have electric hands and I can't punch him in the junk?
The ref just shrugs and Rob rolls his eyes. Dylan gets to his feet, glaring daggers at Rob, who merely grabs him before he's ready, and hits a codebreaker! Rob goes for the pinfall!
One
Two
Th-Dylan Black kicks out!
Hawke: Rob nearly retained his title right there!
King: Though he did have to cheat a little.
Hawke: Cheat? Dylan should have been disqualified the first time he shocked Rob Arnold!
King: Tomato, Tomahto.
Rob Arnold stands up and pulls Dylan Black up. Rob goes for a German suplex, but catches a back elbow for his troubles. Dylan hits a running bulldog instead. Dylan Black jumps to his feet, stomping Rob Arnold with his metal leg before delivering a solid kick to the ribs as Rob tries to roll to his feet. Rob is on all fours, coughing blood onto the mat.
Hawke: Dylan did some damage with that kick.
King: Of course he did. How much force you think is behind those kicks with the replacement leg? I would imagine Rob has at least one broken rib.
Dylan gets Rob up and hits a package piledriver! He goes for the pinfall!
One
Two
Three!
Dylan Black jumps up into the air and starts celebrating his win, but the ref taps him on the shoulder and points out that Rob managed to get a foot onto the bottom rope so it's only a two count. Rob Arnold stands up, grasping at his side in pain, and spitting blood onto the mat that's instantly washed away from the rain.
Arnold: You'll have to do better than that, young pup.
Black: Oh, I plan on it.
The two pivot at the same time, striking out with simultaneous superkicks that both find jaws at the same time! Both Rob Arnold and Dylan Black go down to the mat. The ref looks at both downed men and begins to count them both out.
One
Two
Three
Four
Hawke: Wouldn't this suck if it ended in a double count out?
King: Rob would retain his title! Five
Six
Rob Arnold is the first to rise, using the ropes to get himself to his feet. Dylan Black is the second to get up, sitting up with a snarl before getting fully to his feet. Dylan Black hits an ear pop, holding the sides of Rob's head so that he can deliver a stunning headbutt that would have staggered Rob if it were not for him being held in place by Dylan's cybernetic hands.
Black: FEEL MY POWER!
Just then lightning strikes the top of the corner post right next to the pair in an explosion that sends both men flying across the ring as the top rope comes apart. The ref also goes down in the explosion, laying on the mat.
Hawke: We should stop this match!
King: Agreed, but I don't think that we are.
Dylan Black and Rob Arnold slowly stand up. Dylan swooning and falling to his knees, bleeding from the right side of his chest where shrapnel had ripped through him like a bullet. Bubbles form around the wound, indicating that a lung has been perforated. The storm doesn't abate. If anything, it intensifies in it's downpour of rain that causes the soaked crowd to come closer to the ring to try to be able to see the action. A ten thousand strong cheering lumberjack crew.
Arnold: It's over, Dylan! We need to get you to a hospital!
Black: Not until I've won the X*Crown!
Arnold: You'll die if you keep going!
Dylan Black gets to his feet, blood pouring from the wound on his chest.
Black: I won't give in! You'll have to kill me to win!
Arnold: Very well.
Rob moves faster than Dylan can react, punching Dylan in the wound in his chest to bring a great gasping of air from the challenger that brings him back to his knees so that Rob can perform a shining wizard!
Hawke: Is Rob going to kill Dylan?
King: If that's what it takes!
Hawke: We should have this match stopped! The ref should see that Dylan is badly wounded!
King: The ref is still down from that lightning strike.
Hawke: Oh crap! Can we get another ref down here to stop this match?
King: Too dangerous for someone else to come down here.
Rob Arnold climbs to the second rope and leaps through the air to hit a suicide dive, but Dylan gets his knees up at the last minute to catch Rob in the ribcage! Rob's eyes bulge nearly out of his head as he lands on Dylan's knees and is unceremoniously dumped to the side. Rob coughs more blood across the soaked mat.
Hawke: This is dangerous for both men. Both are bleeding internally and there's the danger of more lightning strikes as this storm becomes more dangerous!
King: Welcome to the top tier of wrestling.
Rob and Dylan are slow to get up, but get up at the same time. Dylan grabs Rob by the shoulders and does several metallic knee lifts before casting Rob back to the mat like a piece of torn meat. Dylan gets Rob up and slips behind him to get him up like he's going to do an atomic drop, but does a wheelbarrel facebuster instead! Dylan clutches at his bloody wound in his chest for a moment before going for the pinfall!
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six?
Dylan Black looks up from still pinning Rob Arnold to see that the ref is still out cold. Dylan gets to his feet, walks over to the ref, and grabs him by the front of the shirt to pick him up and slap him lightly across the face to try to wake him.
Hawke: We should still get another ref down here. What if this one doesn't wake up?
King: No one else wants to go out there. This one better wake up!
The ref opens his eyes and sits up while shaking his head. He points behind Dylan with wide open eyes. Dylan turns around to see Rob Arnold standing there. Rob puts a thumb into Dylan's chest wound, bringing out a cry of pain from Dylan. Rob continues his offensive, hitting three German suplexes in a row before going for the cover!
One
Two
Thre-Dylan kicks out!
Hawke: I don't know if Dylan should have kicked out of that. EMTs are standing by to try to get to the ring through the crowd.
King: If they can make it through the crowd!
Rob Arnold stands up and pulls Dylan Black up and hurls him at the corner. He follows suite, but misses a running high knee as Dylan moves out of the way. Dylan grabs Rob by the back of the head and sends him face first into the ring post! He pulls Rob back away from the corner and throws him down toward the center of the ring. Rob gets back to his feet, only to have a reverse bearhug/double stomach claw applied. The ref checks to see if Rob will submit, but he refuses.
Black: Surrender!
Arnold: No!
Dylan Black roars in anger, cranking up the pressure. Lightning begins to arc across his fingers before he lights Rob Arnold up like a Christmas tree! Dylan drops the fried Rob to the mat, his flesh smoking from two new hand prints burned into his midsection. Dylan rolls Rob over and goes for the pinfall, hooking a leg.
One
Two
Thre-Rob gets a shoulder up at the last second!
Dylan kneels up, looking to the ref in anger before covering Rob again.
One
Two
Th-Rob kicks out!
Dylan kneels up again in disbelief that Rob Arnold is still kicking out. He stands up and pulls Rob up. He whips Rob into the corner, rushes at him, and punches him several times before putting Rob's legs over the second rope. Dylan backs up a few steps, runs, and kicks Rob square in the junk! Rob kinks to the side, unable to be supported by the top rope that's gone slack. He falls off the corner, hits the ring apron, and lands on the ground. Dylan Black watches as Rob Arnold slowly gets up. He runs across the ring, leaps over the ropes, grabs Rob by the head, and brings him face first into the ground! Dylan pulls Rob up and rolls him into the ring, following. He rolls Rob Arnold up for the pinfall!
One
Two
Three-NO! Rob Arnold gets a shoulder up!
Hawke: Rob Arnold still has something in the tank!
King: I'm shocked. Do you see Dylan's face? He's just as shocked as we are!
Dylan Black stands up with a look of disbelief. He pulls Rob Arnold up, takes a step back, and aims a superkick at Rob's jaw with the cybernetic leg. Rob Arnold steps back, catches the leg, and throws Dylan across the ring where he slides into the corner. Dylan starts to get up on all fours when Rob jumps up into the air and stomps the back of his head to send his face crashing into the mat for Shattered Ice! Rob Arnold drops down to his knees, rolls Dylan over, and goes for the pinfall.
One
Two
Three-No! Dylan gets a shoulder up!
Rob Arnold gets up, not even looking at the referee who is flashing a two count. He goes to the corner, climbs to the second turnbuckle, and perches there as Dylan Black slowly gets to all fours.
King: Shadows of Night of Champions here and how he had won his X*Crown!
Hawke: If he hits this, it's all over!
Rob Arnold leaps into the air and comes down onto the mat as Dylan Black rolls out of the way! Rob's leg gives way and he falls to the mat!
Hawke: Well? It's not over!
King: Nope. Now is this a chance for Dylan to win the title?
Dylan stands up, taking some time to catch his breath before pulling Rob to his feet. He gets Rob up into the air with a hooked leg and then drives Rob down onto his head!
King: Ragnarok! I think this is all over!
Hawke: Dylan reserves this move for big matches.
Dylan goes for the pinfall!
One
Two
Three!
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of the match and NEW X*Crown champion...Dylan Black!
Hawke: The X*Crown championship is now in Jrok!
King: There's a whole new changing of the guard!
EMTs muscle their way through the crowd to check to help Dylan and Rob.
Hawke: This has been Joey Hawke and Jerry "the King" Lawler for the XHF Network. We bid you goodnight!
King: G'night!