Post by vastrix on Sept 5, 2020 21:10:54 GMT -5
Backstage in the locker room, “the Iron Bear” Joe Ghaven is getting ready for his match. He’s lacing up his boots while his manager, Ethan Mills, stands beside him.
Mills: Joe, I was wondering. Would you tap out if a woman were applying the submission hold?
Joe frowns for a moment as if in thought and then shrugs his massive shoulders.
Ghaven: I suppose, if the submission move hurts enough like any other submission move.
Ethan, who was starting to drink from a bottle of water, does a spit take all over the place.
Mills: What the fuck?
Ghaven: I’m sorry. What was the right answer?
Mills: The right answer is “Ethan, I would never submit no matter how much it hurt. It doesn’t matter if man or woman has it on.” That is the right fucking answer!
Joe Ghaven wipes the side of his face to get the spit water off of him. He grumbles, reaching into his ever present bag and pulls out a washcloth. He dries himself off with it.
Ghaven: If the move hurts, I don’t see the harm in submitting. I mean I would try to get out of the move first. Naturally. I just think that it’s better to submit when you can’t break out of the move instead of being injured.
Mills: I guess. Would you go into the ring and fight a stuffed cat doll?
Joe gives Ethan a sideways look like WTF? He reaches into his bag and pulls out a similar, but differently colored stuffed cat doll. He hugs it and holds it out to Ethan.
Ghaven: You mean like Binx here?I would NEVER fight such a cutie. I would have to take whatever moves that the little minx dishes out like a champion.
Ethan’s jaw hangs open as he looks at Joe Ghaven with an even more incredulous WTF look.
Mills: What the fuck? I mean literally like what the fuck, Joe? You take the inanimate object facing you in the ring and you pin it for the three count! You don’t take whatever punishment that an inanimate object dishes out! You fight!
Ghaven: Inanimate? Binxy, he’s calling you an inanimate object. What do you think about that?
Joe playfully slaps Ethan with the stuffed cat doll and then puts it away.
Ghaven: Binx says that you suck.
Ethan blinks and points to the bag angrily.
Mills: Well, Binx can suck my dick! Lemme show you what exactly what I think of Binx!
Ethan grabs the bag and sticks his arm in there, like way in there.
Ghaven: I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
Mills: Fuck off!
Ethan pulls out the head of a very real lion that roars at him. He puts the lion head back into the bag and falls backwards on his butt.
Mills: What the fuck was that, Joe? You have a lion in your bag?
Joe continues to lace his boots like nothing of import happened. You know, like his manager wasn’t nearly eaten by a lion.
Ghaven: I warned you. Fluffy has been a bit irritable of late.
Mills: I...you...I...what? You have a lion in your bag as a pet?
Ghaven: Doesn’t everybody? Would you rather I let him out? I mean he does keep down the excess zebra population in my bag.
Ethan opens his mouth as if to speak, but closes it.
Ghaven: Yeah, sometimes I have to open my bag to the sunlight and dump some water in there to keep the grasslands fertile.
Ethan stands up and dusts himself off.
Mills: You know what? I don’t even fucking care anymore. Let’s get to the match. Shall we?
Ghaven: Yup.
Mills: Joe, I was wondering. Would you tap out if a woman were applying the submission hold?
Joe frowns for a moment as if in thought and then shrugs his massive shoulders.
Ghaven: I suppose, if the submission move hurts enough like any other submission move.
Ethan, who was starting to drink from a bottle of water, does a spit take all over the place.
Mills: What the fuck?
Ghaven: I’m sorry. What was the right answer?
Mills: The right answer is “Ethan, I would never submit no matter how much it hurt. It doesn’t matter if man or woman has it on.” That is the right fucking answer!
Joe Ghaven wipes the side of his face to get the spit water off of him. He grumbles, reaching into his ever present bag and pulls out a washcloth. He dries himself off with it.
Ghaven: If the move hurts, I don’t see the harm in submitting. I mean I would try to get out of the move first. Naturally. I just think that it’s better to submit when you can’t break out of the move instead of being injured.
Mills: I guess. Would you go into the ring and fight a stuffed cat doll?
Joe gives Ethan a sideways look like WTF? He reaches into his bag and pulls out a similar, but differently colored stuffed cat doll. He hugs it and holds it out to Ethan.
Ghaven: You mean like Binx here?I would NEVER fight such a cutie. I would have to take whatever moves that the little minx dishes out like a champion.
Ethan’s jaw hangs open as he looks at Joe Ghaven with an even more incredulous WTF look.
Mills: What the fuck? I mean literally like what the fuck, Joe? You take the inanimate object facing you in the ring and you pin it for the three count! You don’t take whatever punishment that an inanimate object dishes out! You fight!
Ghaven: Inanimate? Binxy, he’s calling you an inanimate object. What do you think about that?
Joe playfully slaps Ethan with the stuffed cat doll and then puts it away.
Ghaven: Binx says that you suck.
Ethan blinks and points to the bag angrily.
Mills: Well, Binx can suck my dick! Lemme show you what exactly what I think of Binx!
Ethan grabs the bag and sticks his arm in there, like way in there.
Ghaven: I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
Mills: Fuck off!
Ethan pulls out the head of a very real lion that roars at him. He puts the lion head back into the bag and falls backwards on his butt.
Mills: What the fuck was that, Joe? You have a lion in your bag?
Joe continues to lace his boots like nothing of import happened. You know, like his manager wasn’t nearly eaten by a lion.
Ghaven: I warned you. Fluffy has been a bit irritable of late.
Mills: I...you...I...what? You have a lion in your bag as a pet?
Ghaven: Doesn’t everybody? Would you rather I let him out? I mean he does keep down the excess zebra population in my bag.
Ethan opens his mouth as if to speak, but closes it.
Ghaven: Yeah, sometimes I have to open my bag to the sunlight and dump some water in there to keep the grasslands fertile.
Ethan stands up and dusts himself off.
Mills: You know what? I don’t even fucking care anymore. Let’s get to the match. Shall we?
Ghaven: Yup.
