Post by Maxwell Murder on Sept 9, 2020 1:20:12 GMT -5
Part 1: Introduction
"Mooo?" questions the cow as the pile of hay she's grazing on for breakfast starts to vibrate and move, and soon reviles a grungy looking reddish blond scruffy man pulling an old looking flip phone out of his pocket. "Sorry girl, I gotta take this" he says to the cow before patting her on the nose, he flips the phone open and looks at it before answering.
"Jimmy Franks! The man with the six inch foot-long how's my favorite agent doing?" Maxwell asks into the phone, the other-side responds "Fine, how's my least favorite client doing? Don't answer I really don't care. Listen Maxwell, I have some urgent news for you, can you hear me? Max? This connection is shit, did you ever update that old ass Startec phone?" Maxwell pulls the Startec from his head looks at it to see if that's what the sticker says then puts it back to his ear.
"Where are you?" Jimmy asks. Max looks around and shrugs "Some farm near some city I can't pronounce why?" Jimmy sighs, "Does it have an airport?" "The farm? No I doubt it does." "No the city you moron! Does it have an airport? Doesn't matter listen, you've got to get out of the country, asap." "Wait why? I've got a boo.." Before Max can finish Jimmy cut's him off "No, you don't Max, listen the government won't renew your work visa." Max looks confused "I thought you had people taking care of that?" "I did, they say you are no longer worth the effort, ROI was not up to their standards, honestly, they said nothing about you was up to their very low standards." Max lips ROI? But then nod's to himself, he can see that.
"Ok so, what about another company? There has to be plenty of Japanese Deathmatch companies out there" "No Max, as of three days ago you've had five to get out of the country, something about being a menace to society, you can leave willingly but if they have to hunt you down it won't be pleasant, so get to the nearest town with an airport and I'll send you a ticket for your next location, I've got something in the works."
Max looks shocked. "Really? Someone state side is going to take a chance and book me?"
Jimmy responds "Yeah, some new promotion on the XHF Network, apparently the owner of the network is throwing money at all types of federations to join under his umbrella, I was able to get in contact with one of these new promotions, and suckered, I mean talked them into hiring you, they've never heard of you so that actually worked in your favor, and they are willing to showcase you in their first ever championship tournament. So get your ass on a plane and get to...shit this paper is smudged, get to one of the Virginia's and we'll figure it out from there."
Max nods "Ok but, what's the name of this new promotion? Jimmy? Hello?" Max looks at his phone, call dropped, no service. "Well shit, looks like good old Maxwell Murder is finally going to get his big break girl" He pets the cow once more who licks the side of his face "Imma miss you too girl, you be good, and maybe some day, I'll be able to afford to eat one of your children." And with that Max gets up grabs his bag from inside the hay pile brushes most of the hay off himself and heads towards the nearest town.
Part 2: Fifteen Minutes of Fame.
Thump thump thump, a finger is tapping the screen, it moves away and we see Maxwell Murder standing in-front of the camera "This thing on? Fuck it red light is on, lets go." Max thumbs his nose. "Fifteen Minutes. That's all it takes to make or break a career, fifteen long grueling minutes to make a first impression, to set the bar. FIFTEEN MINUTES OF BLOODSHED AND VIOLENCE TO SHOW THE WORLD....who truly is worthy of riding the lightning." Max grins to himself for a second.
"Hello Rebel Rock Wrestling, my name is Maxwell Murder, and you've most likely never heard of me, and that's fine because I sure as fuck have never heard of you, but we have something in common you and I, we are both new to the XHF Network, and we both want to put our best foot forward to show that we are not just some junkies wondering the street looking for a flat to crash the night in, no we are here for the long haul and we are here to kick as many asses along the way as we can." Max raises his eyebrow
"At least, that's why I am here. Now yes, I am an outsider in more ways the one, see I am not on the Rebel Rock Wrestling roster, no no no, I actually come from another start up federation called PTSD. But I am not here to promote them or our upcoming tournament to crown our new World Champion, a tournament I happen to be the number one seed in, no they are not paying me extra to promote that so definitely don't check that out on a date yet to be determined. At the Alumni Hall in Annapolis, MD also on the XHF Network." Max looks off camera "Did I get that right? That check better clear." He looks back at the camera.
"I'm here for that Ride The Lightning Championship match, see when I landed state side and my agent forced me to upgrade my phone I got a notification on our employee app that a new upstart promotion was looking for the hardest of hardcore to showcase in a No DQ hardcore scramble, well I jumped at the opportunity because that's right in my wheelhouse. I have been overseas for years now killing my self in Japanese style deathmatches in city's I can't pronounce for promotions YOU'VE never heard of honing my skills in violence and mayhem just for an opportunity just like this one."
"Fifteen miniatures of pure unadulterated hardcore violence. I get fifteen minutes to finally show the WORLD just who the FUCK MAXWELL MURDER IS!" Max now stars pacing back and forth.
"And as far as the dumbshit that are unlucky enough to be in this match with me, you don't know me, and you sure as fuck don't know you little fucking shits, but mark my words boy's and girl, MAXWELL MURDER IS GOING TO POUND YOUR ASS FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES RAW DAWG STYLE. I don't give a FUCK if your a former world champion like that pretty little girl Roxy, or a mountain of a man who claims to be a god like Galloway, I don't give a shit if your even someone I'd drink with like Hardcastle or another crazy deathmatch motherfucker like Parker. None of you, NONE OF YOU PUNK ASS BITCHES MEAN SHIT TO ME, I WILL BEAT YOU LIKE YOU OWE ME MONEY, I WILL BREAK YOU TO THE POINT THAT YOU WILL WISH YOUR MOTHER SWALLOWED YOU, I AM HERE TO PROVE THAT I SHOULD BE THE MOST FEARED MAN ON THE PLANET." Max twirls his hand "And yeah sure it'd be pretty gnarly to win a championship in my first match ever here on this network, but even if I don't it wont matter, because at the end of that fifteen minutes, WIN OR LOSE" He charges up to the camera.
"All you stupid punk ass mother fuckers will fear the name, Maxwell. Murder." He pushes the camera and it falls over "I'm done fucking talking."
"Mooo?" questions the cow as the pile of hay she's grazing on for breakfast starts to vibrate and move, and soon reviles a grungy looking reddish blond scruffy man pulling an old looking flip phone out of his pocket. "Sorry girl, I gotta take this" he says to the cow before patting her on the nose, he flips the phone open and looks at it before answering.
"Jimmy Franks! The man with the six inch foot-long how's my favorite agent doing?" Maxwell asks into the phone, the other-side responds "Fine, how's my least favorite client doing? Don't answer I really don't care. Listen Maxwell, I have some urgent news for you, can you hear me? Max? This connection is shit, did you ever update that old ass Startec phone?" Maxwell pulls the Startec from his head looks at it to see if that's what the sticker says then puts it back to his ear.
"Where are you?" Jimmy asks. Max looks around and shrugs "Some farm near some city I can't pronounce why?" Jimmy sighs, "Does it have an airport?" "The farm? No I doubt it does." "No the city you moron! Does it have an airport? Doesn't matter listen, you've got to get out of the country, asap." "Wait why? I've got a boo.." Before Max can finish Jimmy cut's him off "No, you don't Max, listen the government won't renew your work visa." Max looks confused "I thought you had people taking care of that?" "I did, they say you are no longer worth the effort, ROI was not up to their standards, honestly, they said nothing about you was up to their very low standards." Max lips ROI? But then nod's to himself, he can see that.
"Ok so, what about another company? There has to be plenty of Japanese Deathmatch companies out there" "No Max, as of three days ago you've had five to get out of the country, something about being a menace to society, you can leave willingly but if they have to hunt you down it won't be pleasant, so get to the nearest town with an airport and I'll send you a ticket for your next location, I've got something in the works."
Max looks shocked. "Really? Someone state side is going to take a chance and book me?"
Jimmy responds "Yeah, some new promotion on the XHF Network, apparently the owner of the network is throwing money at all types of federations to join under his umbrella, I was able to get in contact with one of these new promotions, and suckered, I mean talked them into hiring you, they've never heard of you so that actually worked in your favor, and they are willing to showcase you in their first ever championship tournament. So get your ass on a plane and get to...shit this paper is smudged, get to one of the Virginia's and we'll figure it out from there."
Max nods "Ok but, what's the name of this new promotion? Jimmy? Hello?" Max looks at his phone, call dropped, no service. "Well shit, looks like good old Maxwell Murder is finally going to get his big break girl" He pets the cow once more who licks the side of his face "Imma miss you too girl, you be good, and maybe some day, I'll be able to afford to eat one of your children." And with that Max gets up grabs his bag from inside the hay pile brushes most of the hay off himself and heads towards the nearest town.
Part 2: Fifteen Minutes of Fame.
Thump thump thump, a finger is tapping the screen, it moves away and we see Maxwell Murder standing in-front of the camera "This thing on? Fuck it red light is on, lets go." Max thumbs his nose. "Fifteen Minutes. That's all it takes to make or break a career, fifteen long grueling minutes to make a first impression, to set the bar. FIFTEEN MINUTES OF BLOODSHED AND VIOLENCE TO SHOW THE WORLD....who truly is worthy of riding the lightning." Max grins to himself for a second.
"Hello Rebel Rock Wrestling, my name is Maxwell Murder, and you've most likely never heard of me, and that's fine because I sure as fuck have never heard of you, but we have something in common you and I, we are both new to the XHF Network, and we both want to put our best foot forward to show that we are not just some junkies wondering the street looking for a flat to crash the night in, no we are here for the long haul and we are here to kick as many asses along the way as we can." Max raises his eyebrow
"At least, that's why I am here. Now yes, I am an outsider in more ways the one, see I am not on the Rebel Rock Wrestling roster, no no no, I actually come from another start up federation called PTSD. But I am not here to promote them or our upcoming tournament to crown our new World Champion, a tournament I happen to be the number one seed in, no they are not paying me extra to promote that so definitely don't check that out on a date yet to be determined. At the Alumni Hall in Annapolis, MD also on the XHF Network." Max looks off camera "Did I get that right? That check better clear." He looks back at the camera.
"I'm here for that Ride The Lightning Championship match, see when I landed state side and my agent forced me to upgrade my phone I got a notification on our employee app that a new upstart promotion was looking for the hardest of hardcore to showcase in a No DQ hardcore scramble, well I jumped at the opportunity because that's right in my wheelhouse. I have been overseas for years now killing my self in Japanese style deathmatches in city's I can't pronounce for promotions YOU'VE never heard of honing my skills in violence and mayhem just for an opportunity just like this one."
"Fifteen miniatures of pure unadulterated hardcore violence. I get fifteen minutes to finally show the WORLD just who the FUCK MAXWELL MURDER IS!" Max now stars pacing back and forth.
"And as far as the dumbshit that are unlucky enough to be in this match with me, you don't know me, and you sure as fuck don't know you little fucking shits, but mark my words boy's and girl, MAXWELL MURDER IS GOING TO POUND YOUR ASS FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES RAW DAWG STYLE. I don't give a FUCK if your a former world champion like that pretty little girl Roxy, or a mountain of a man who claims to be a god like Galloway, I don't give a shit if your even someone I'd drink with like Hardcastle or another crazy deathmatch motherfucker like Parker. None of you, NONE OF YOU PUNK ASS BITCHES MEAN SHIT TO ME, I WILL BEAT YOU LIKE YOU OWE ME MONEY, I WILL BREAK YOU TO THE POINT THAT YOU WILL WISH YOUR MOTHER SWALLOWED YOU, I AM HERE TO PROVE THAT I SHOULD BE THE MOST FEARED MAN ON THE PLANET." Max twirls his hand "And yeah sure it'd be pretty gnarly to win a championship in my first match ever here on this network, but even if I don't it wont matter, because at the end of that fifteen minutes, WIN OR LOSE" He charges up to the camera.
"All you stupid punk ass mother fuckers will fear the name, Maxwell. Murder." He pushes the camera and it falls over "I'm done fucking talking."