Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Sept 25, 2020 18:41:49 GMT -5
“Silence you fool! We don’t want to have to injure the guards!”
*The scene fades in as Lord Dominicus continually gestures the camera (and therefore us) to follow him as he creeps through a darkened hallway.*
LD: Yes, yes, I think we’re getting closer…
*He presses up closer to the wall and finds….a sarcophagus? We get a nice publicity photo moment as the sneaking Lord of all that is Dark is pressed up against the golden deathbed of a pharaoh, it’s gleaming face reflectively lighting the scene.*
LD: You are probably wondering why we are here so late at night. That is because you’re a FOO- you’re not very smart…
*Dominicus has decided to keep his voice down to a whisper rather than go into his normal theatrics, this- this is not an easy choice to enact.*
LD: I have decided that before my big match it would behoove me to visit an old friend, a mighty warrior who makes his home among the historically dead. But then once I got here I realized a few things… I thought about just how antiquated Northern Pro Wrestling is.
*He does the thinking before continuing.*
LD: I mean, even the so called “champions” in this company are….pretty old- decorated, but old.
*The Dark Masked Man directs both hands upward towards the staring face of the ancient Egyptian coffin.*
LD: Look at Eric Dane. He’s been around the block so much that’s pretty much all anyone- including himself has to say about him. If your primary accolade is still wrestling then maybe you’re not the big name you think you are.
*Suddenly a light appears above Dominicus’ head as he walks ahead- it’s an exit sign but works as he gestures like a lightbulb appeared.*
LD: But that’s when I realized just how endemic this is to the company. I mean we already saw as I mercilessly ruined “Antiquated” Alex Turner’s career so bad he’s decided to become a referee as he can no longer keep up. But even in my own match I’ve realized just how outdated NPW is.
*As he walks along, Dominicus comes to what appears to be some mannequins depicting early toolmakers at their work.*
LD: Just take the current North American Cruiserweight Champion, Marcus Smith. Who is he? Just some workhorse nobody has heard of. I mean even the website, which is largely pictures of myself and some other people who’ve been riding my coattails doesn’t carry his profile. But that’s hardly surprising. For a company getting a lot of recent press it’s only because of its tendency to hire BE- behind-the-times brawlers who can’t keep up.
*He looks at one of the mannequins.*
LD: Marcus, I’m doing you a favor by putting you out to pasture. Maybe NPW needs some more referees or workers in the back.
*He struts a bit more through the dimly lit museum, trying to be quiet but honestly he’s talking way more than he should.*
LD: But the other member of this match that ONL- only I’ve earned his way into- FWA’s Solomon Graham… Oh! Here he is!
*Dominicus reaches what he was looking for, a stand representing antediluvian man- that is to say, it’s a cave man.*
LD: Ah yes, the backbone of what people call the “old school” style. A thug. A thug we’re supposed to cheer for. Sure Graham is an accomplished technical wrestler, but that’s not why he’s here. He’s big- honestly too big for a title like this, just another big old thick boy being thrown into the ring because the NPW bigwigs are worried about even their cruiserweight division not having some beef in it.
*He shakes his head.*
LD: And he’s not even a regular roster member! He’s just moonlighting here! That’s the prime call of a lesser company, using outsiders and risking OUR-
*Dominicus quickly covers his mouth*
LD: Our titles in order to try to draw eyes on the product. Well no more! No more I say! Because at End of Days we’re going to see the death of the old NPW and the birth of the new Domini-Era, my era!
*He waves off the outdated model of man and continues to search while talking.*
LD: You see people, I, Lord Dominicus, the biggest star of Northern Pro Wrestling will be coming out of End of Days as the holder of the greatest title in NPW- the North American Cruiserweight Title. “Oh but what about the Canadian whatever whatever titles?” Who cares about them!? They’re just Canada; I shall be proclaimed Cruiserweight Champion over all of North America! That’s like twice the size of the great white north because it includes it!
*Dominicus presses up close to the sides to see what the displays are, we’re at one for prehistoric mammals.*
LD: We’re getting closer now… We’re also getting closer to the dawn NPW finally being dragged from the antediluvian era into modern times. I alone seem to be manning the helm to modernize this company and so I shall shape it in my black image. A shadow is falling upon you NPW, but don’t be afraid, for it shall be your salvation….
*A shadow is also falling upon LD as a dim security light from above is being blocked by something.*
LD: Ah-ha…my quarry…
*He looks up (as does the camera), a mighty tyrannosaurus skeleton fills the room and our screens, dwarfing us all.*
LD: But wait… You’re not the one I seek, you’re just some dead bones. Not the Dinosaur Bones I was seeking.
*Dominicus snaps his fingers.*
LD: OF- of course! I know why! Because unlike the dusty antiques that fill both the NPW shows and this museum, my faithful partner in Dread Lording is alive and active! You won’t find such things here, only the remnants of once was and no longer is. Such will be all the relics of NPW. Let us take leave of this dusty realm, for our target- and Northern Pro’s future- is in the modern world!
*Dominicus begins to slink away while the camera fades*
“The path to greatness is paved with McNuggets…”
*The scene fades in as Lord Dominicus continually gestures the camera (and therefore us) to follow him as he creeps through a darkened hallway.*
LD: Yes, yes, I think we’re getting closer…
*He presses up closer to the wall and finds….a sarcophagus? We get a nice publicity photo moment as the sneaking Lord of all that is Dark is pressed up against the golden deathbed of a pharaoh, it’s gleaming face reflectively lighting the scene.*
LD: You are probably wondering why we are here so late at night. That is because you’re a FOO- you’re not very smart…
*Dominicus has decided to keep his voice down to a whisper rather than go into his normal theatrics, this- this is not an easy choice to enact.*
LD: I have decided that before my big match it would behoove me to visit an old friend, a mighty warrior who makes his home among the historically dead. But then once I got here I realized a few things… I thought about just how antiquated Northern Pro Wrestling is.
*He does the thinking before continuing.*
LD: I mean, even the so called “champions” in this company are….pretty old- decorated, but old.
*The Dark Masked Man directs both hands upward towards the staring face of the ancient Egyptian coffin.*
LD: Look at Eric Dane. He’s been around the block so much that’s pretty much all anyone- including himself has to say about him. If your primary accolade is still wrestling then maybe you’re not the big name you think you are.
*Suddenly a light appears above Dominicus’ head as he walks ahead- it’s an exit sign but works as he gestures like a lightbulb appeared.*
LD: But that’s when I realized just how endemic this is to the company. I mean we already saw as I mercilessly ruined “Antiquated” Alex Turner’s career so bad he’s decided to become a referee as he can no longer keep up. But even in my own match I’ve realized just how outdated NPW is.
*As he walks along, Dominicus comes to what appears to be some mannequins depicting early toolmakers at their work.*
LD: Just take the current North American Cruiserweight Champion, Marcus Smith. Who is he? Just some workhorse nobody has heard of. I mean even the website, which is largely pictures of myself and some other people who’ve been riding my coattails doesn’t carry his profile. But that’s hardly surprising. For a company getting a lot of recent press it’s only because of its tendency to hire BE- behind-the-times brawlers who can’t keep up.
*He looks at one of the mannequins.*
LD: Marcus, I’m doing you a favor by putting you out to pasture. Maybe NPW needs some more referees or workers in the back.
*He struts a bit more through the dimly lit museum, trying to be quiet but honestly he’s talking way more than he should.*
LD: But the other member of this match that ONL- only I’ve earned his way into- FWA’s Solomon Graham… Oh! Here he is!
*Dominicus reaches what he was looking for, a stand representing antediluvian man- that is to say, it’s a cave man.*
LD: Ah yes, the backbone of what people call the “old school” style. A thug. A thug we’re supposed to cheer for. Sure Graham is an accomplished technical wrestler, but that’s not why he’s here. He’s big- honestly too big for a title like this, just another big old thick boy being thrown into the ring because the NPW bigwigs are worried about even their cruiserweight division not having some beef in it.
*He shakes his head.*
LD: And he’s not even a regular roster member! He’s just moonlighting here! That’s the prime call of a lesser company, using outsiders and risking OUR-
*Dominicus quickly covers his mouth*
LD: Our titles in order to try to draw eyes on the product. Well no more! No more I say! Because at End of Days we’re going to see the death of the old NPW and the birth of the new Domini-Era, my era!
*He waves off the outdated model of man and continues to search while talking.*
LD: You see people, I, Lord Dominicus, the biggest star of Northern Pro Wrestling will be coming out of End of Days as the holder of the greatest title in NPW- the North American Cruiserweight Title. “Oh but what about the Canadian whatever whatever titles?” Who cares about them!? They’re just Canada; I shall be proclaimed Cruiserweight Champion over all of North America! That’s like twice the size of the great white north because it includes it!
*Dominicus presses up close to the sides to see what the displays are, we’re at one for prehistoric mammals.*
LD: We’re getting closer now… We’re also getting closer to the dawn NPW finally being dragged from the antediluvian era into modern times. I alone seem to be manning the helm to modernize this company and so I shall shape it in my black image. A shadow is falling upon you NPW, but don’t be afraid, for it shall be your salvation….
*A shadow is also falling upon LD as a dim security light from above is being blocked by something.*
LD: Ah-ha…my quarry…
*He looks up (as does the camera), a mighty tyrannosaurus skeleton fills the room and our screens, dwarfing us all.*
LD: But wait… You’re not the one I seek, you’re just some dead bones. Not the Dinosaur Bones I was seeking.
*Dominicus snaps his fingers.*
LD: OF- of course! I know why! Because unlike the dusty antiques that fill both the NPW shows and this museum, my faithful partner in Dread Lording is alive and active! You won’t find such things here, only the remnants of once was and no longer is. Such will be all the relics of NPW. Let us take leave of this dusty realm, for our target- and Northern Pro’s future- is in the modern world!
*Dominicus begins to slink away while the camera fades*
“The path to greatness is paved with McNuggets…”
