Post by vastrix on Sept 29, 2020 22:34:03 GMT -5
Dallas, Texas at a stadium. A young lady stands behind a podium at the stage where thousands of people await their candidate for the United States President. An Independant runner so he doesn’t really stand much of a chance, or does he?
Young Lady: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the main speaker of the night. He is the leader of the Legalize Everything campaign. You might know him best as Troy Adkins, but he is Thomas Mills! Welcome to Dallas, Texas!
Thomas Mills makes his way out onto the stage to the cheering of the crowd. He waves to the audience with a bright and cheery, if somewhat glazed, smile. He shakes the hand of the young lady and takes her place behind the podium while she finds her way to a seat. Thomas looks around at the crowd, breathing in deep.
Mills: Hello, Dallas, Texas!
Thomas waits as cheering overwhelms anything that he might say in the next few seconds.
Mills: I want to say that I think this is the largest gathering of independent voters ever! Fuck the antiquated two party system!
More cheering.
Mills: Fuck the Democrats!
Crowd: Fuck the Democrats!
Mills: Fuck the Republicans!
Crowd: Fuck the Republicans!
Mills: The Democrats are too far to one side and the Republicans are too far to the other. Do they not know that what we seek is something in the middle? Something reasonable instead of being insane. You know?
The crowd cheer to indicate that they in fact, know what Thomas is talking about.
Mills: Let’s look at today's country. It’s nearly tearing itself apart with this group or that group clamoring about rights and such. What do we really need? We need our freedom, but we also need food and other supplies! Now, Hammer Industries has brought food and other supplies in from their own special resources, but that’s not enough! We need to be able to work on our relations with other countries that are selling us food so we can get a good rate. Our current President works to piss everyone off and they don’t want to deal with us. Our current President would have us starve rather than extend good will to other countries so that we can get food to our people! What do you think of that?
The crowd boo about President McStrump and his current policies.
Mills: Have you seen what the President would rather do? He would rather enslave people to work on his robot army that is designed to kill unruly citizens instead of buying food for a hungry nation. You see that, people? The President would see us dead if we don’t toe the line! He blames these groups that he labels as native terrorists, but they are people like you and me who are tired of this crap! Slavery was abolished a long time ago and yet how many people from Mexico had to be rescued in order to grant them their freedom? Too many, I say!
The crowd cheer him on, Thomas waves with a bright smile.
Mills: How many of our people are going to die at the inhuman hands of robots in the name of “keeping the peace”? Do we need killing machines or do we need food?
Crowd: Food!
Mills: This brings me to my next point. We spend so much money on the War on Drugs. Yes, drugs are bad. People should not do drugs, but it is kind of their right to do the drugs if they really want to. You know? People are killing themselves with drinking booze or smoking cigarettes, but we allow it at a certain age. Many states have regulated marijuana into a legal thing at a certain age as well. It is regulated and made safe. We should expect the same from our cocaine! How many times have you heard of someone dying from snorting cocaine, but not because they overdosed? They died because a dealer wanted to extend their supply against the demand by cutting the cocaine with draino! People die from tainted drugs, tainted needles. People die in drug deals gone wrong. What if we could just go to the local dispensary to get our heroin and get fresh needles at the same time? The drugs would be pure. The needles would not be tainted. Heck, the doses would likely be premeasured. Would it stop everyone from overdosing? No, but it would stop many from dying. This is the basis of my campaign slogan. Legalize Everything!
Crowd: Legalize Everything! Legalize Everything! Legalize Everything!
Mills: I’m not saying that I would be a perfect President, but I would be a damn sight better than President Ronald McStrump! I know for a fact that I’m not a babbling idiot! Or wait, I shouldn’t be able to judge myself. Am I a babbling idiot like our current President?
Crowd: No!
Mills: So, can we say Fuck the President!
Crowd: Fuck the President!
Mills: Thank you and have a great night, Texas! Remember to vote for a real change at the polls this November! Bring the two party system to a screeching halt! Legalize Everything!
Thomas Mills leaves the stage as people cheer him on.
Young Lady: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the main speaker of the night. He is the leader of the Legalize Everything campaign. You might know him best as Troy Adkins, but he is Thomas Mills! Welcome to Dallas, Texas!
Thomas Mills makes his way out onto the stage to the cheering of the crowd. He waves to the audience with a bright and cheery, if somewhat glazed, smile. He shakes the hand of the young lady and takes her place behind the podium while she finds her way to a seat. Thomas looks around at the crowd, breathing in deep.
Mills: Hello, Dallas, Texas!
Thomas waits as cheering overwhelms anything that he might say in the next few seconds.
Mills: I want to say that I think this is the largest gathering of independent voters ever! Fuck the antiquated two party system!
More cheering.
Mills: Fuck the Democrats!
Crowd: Fuck the Democrats!
Mills: Fuck the Republicans!
Crowd: Fuck the Republicans!
Mills: The Democrats are too far to one side and the Republicans are too far to the other. Do they not know that what we seek is something in the middle? Something reasonable instead of being insane. You know?
The crowd cheer to indicate that they in fact, know what Thomas is talking about.
Mills: Let’s look at today's country. It’s nearly tearing itself apart with this group or that group clamoring about rights and such. What do we really need? We need our freedom, but we also need food and other supplies! Now, Hammer Industries has brought food and other supplies in from their own special resources, but that’s not enough! We need to be able to work on our relations with other countries that are selling us food so we can get a good rate. Our current President works to piss everyone off and they don’t want to deal with us. Our current President would have us starve rather than extend good will to other countries so that we can get food to our people! What do you think of that?
The crowd boo about President McStrump and his current policies.
Mills: Have you seen what the President would rather do? He would rather enslave people to work on his robot army that is designed to kill unruly citizens instead of buying food for a hungry nation. You see that, people? The President would see us dead if we don’t toe the line! He blames these groups that he labels as native terrorists, but they are people like you and me who are tired of this crap! Slavery was abolished a long time ago and yet how many people from Mexico had to be rescued in order to grant them their freedom? Too many, I say!
The crowd cheer him on, Thomas waves with a bright smile.
Mills: How many of our people are going to die at the inhuman hands of robots in the name of “keeping the peace”? Do we need killing machines or do we need food?
Crowd: Food!
Mills: This brings me to my next point. We spend so much money on the War on Drugs. Yes, drugs are bad. People should not do drugs, but it is kind of their right to do the drugs if they really want to. You know? People are killing themselves with drinking booze or smoking cigarettes, but we allow it at a certain age. Many states have regulated marijuana into a legal thing at a certain age as well. It is regulated and made safe. We should expect the same from our cocaine! How many times have you heard of someone dying from snorting cocaine, but not because they overdosed? They died because a dealer wanted to extend their supply against the demand by cutting the cocaine with draino! People die from tainted drugs, tainted needles. People die in drug deals gone wrong. What if we could just go to the local dispensary to get our heroin and get fresh needles at the same time? The drugs would be pure. The needles would not be tainted. Heck, the doses would likely be premeasured. Would it stop everyone from overdosing? No, but it would stop many from dying. This is the basis of my campaign slogan. Legalize Everything!
Crowd: Legalize Everything! Legalize Everything! Legalize Everything!
Mills: I’m not saying that I would be a perfect President, but I would be a damn sight better than President Ronald McStrump! I know for a fact that I’m not a babbling idiot! Or wait, I shouldn’t be able to judge myself. Am I a babbling idiot like our current President?
Crowd: No!
Mills: So, can we say Fuck the President!
Crowd: Fuck the President!
Mills: Thank you and have a great night, Texas! Remember to vote for a real change at the polls this November! Bring the two party system to a screeching halt! Legalize Everything!
Thomas Mills leaves the stage as people cheer him on.