For Eddie [PM ZS EOD EP6]

[mosler]

{{It isn’t much to look at, but this weekend the New Davao Matina Gallery will set the sports entertainment world on fire. Under the best of circumstances, the state of the cockfighting art facility can host a thousand paltry, poultry blood sport enthusiasts. These are not those good times. With a pandemic looming overhead, the attendance will be a meagre third of capacity. Those hoping to watch stupid animals beat one another to death, will have to rely on streaming services. For this purpose, a multi-million dollar production truck is set up just outside the entrance. The vehicle costs more than the arena. Technicians have arrived a few days beforehand to set up the Fright Night shoot. Cameras, microphones, set decorations, and lights have been fitted around the venue. Cables have been run throughout the facility, and signals are being tested.}}

{{A few of the crew return from lunch, entering the production truck to find everyone’s favourite Puerto Rican teenager - that looks suspiciously like an elderly Eastern European who is hated by all – sitting behind the switcher. The device is normally used to cut between video feeds during live events, but The Hurricane Kid seems to have misappropriated it into an overpriced editing system. The half dozen monitors in front of Morales display various footage of his opponent.}}

Technician #1:
How did you-

Pepe Morales <waving>:

Hi XHF crew; it’s me, Pepe Morales. No need to be alarmed. I’m a fellow employee of ze network. Or at least... I will be. I’m fairly confident zat Ascension will offer me a contract with ze AWF after I have won ze X*Crown. Unable to win ze crown back by zemselves, Ascension will be all too happy to purchase my accolades.

Technician #2:

Oh, I’m sorry. You startled us. What can we do for you, Mr. Saino-

Pepe Morales:

I often get confused with zat former star. I imagine he has a very youthful appearance, so I won’t take your confusion as a slight. As for your assistance, zat would be appreciated.

{{Pulling up chairs next to the Puerto Rican phenomenon, the technicians start to operate the device properly.}}

Pepe Morales:

I am assembling a promotional video to hype my upcoming encounter with Adam Sand-L-ers; unfortunately I am worried I will be short on length. So I was hoping to attach a completely unrelated piece to pad time.

Technician #2:

Filler, got it. The only footage we have available is what has already gone out over the system, so we can recycle something but-

Pepe Morales <cold smile>:

Now he’s calling me Duke. I can’t catch a break. <chuckle> I was just looking for a video I shot in which I have to tell my stepbrother zat his entire family has died of rabies. Ze video is lowest common denominator emotionally manipulation, but at least I don’t hint at a worse illness, so ethically speaking, I’m basically an angel.

Technician #1:

I would remember if we had that.

Pepe Morales <nodding>:

I am memorable. <shrug> Oh well. Guess I will have to shoot new footage. I was hoping not to put Eddie zrough zat.

{{Sighing, like a man who has to put down a family of seven suffering from rabies – Morales rises from his chair.}}

Pepe Morales:

I don’t suppose you’ve heard anything about Adam SandLers pulling out of ze tournament to focus on ze wellbeing of his surrogate father figure?

Technician #1:

Nothing has come down through the pipeline.

Pepe Morales:

Shame. I was hoping to save Eddie a lot of pain.  Like the visual of what currently occupies his wife's time.  Knowing my luck, Adam lives in ze only world in which a person can die, have a funeral, and still leave you enough time in ze week to evolve your pokemon and fly over to ze Philippines for pay per view. Some people have all ze time in ze world. Not Skye... but people. Well zanks fellas. Catch you on Sunday.

Technician #2:

Good luck with the tournament, Zor- Pepe.

Pepe Morales:

Zanks.

{{Nodding politely, like his close-up shots depended on it, Pepe Morales exits the truck.}}

Pepe Morales:

No one can say I didn’t try to keep zings civil.

{{Stepping out into the bright light of day, Morales is quick to draw a pair of Ray-Bans from his Armani suit. Putting on his shades, The Hurricane Kid checks out the venue. It appears that cockfighting is running on a limited schedule while the event is happening. Just Pepe’s luck, all the best fights won’t occur until the XHF leaves town.}}

Pepe Morales:

Adam, you seem like a decent fellow, so if you took me up on my advice and decided to focus on your family... turn zis off, maybe encourage your loved ones not to watch it. If, however, you have decided to brave it out – well, ze kid’s gloves are coming off.

{{Beat.}}

{{Morales gives the viewers a few moments, a fair warning, then cracks his knuckles.}}

Pepe Morales:

Fair enough. You have left me no choice, but to kill Eddie Walker.

{{Shaking his head in disgust at Adam’s selfishness, Pepe starts walking down a main street.}}

Pepe Morales:

Adam. Before zis I had no problem with you. Ze closest zing we had to conflict was my jealousy over your cool Wind Tunnel stipulation, and ze knowledge zat even if it was just a fleeting moment of jealousy, zat I would have to destroy you to bring balance to ze world. Incidentally, you could have done more with zat stipulation.

Why are we on ze middle of ze card? Why are we UNDER Dakota Jennings and Swann? I realize zis is only my third professional match, but with ze EOD in sight, I have a good chance of winning ze XHF rookie of ze year award over heavy favourites Dinosaur Bones and Zuren Sainovic. I have to assume zat our substandard pecking order is... well... you. It can only be you.  You just aren’t pulling your weight as an opponent. When ze AWF compares you to Dakota Jennings? You just don’t stack up. I suppose it’s ze tournament zat keeps us from working ze opener. Trying to move you up ze card must be sending Eddie Walker to an early grave. It certainly did, Skye.

It’s almost like ze AWF would rather close its doors zan do anything with you. Zey aren’t alone. How many participants chose to phone it in rather zan mount a defence to your awkward family drama? Guillotina – a man who is headlining zis show - completely disrespected ze tournament just to avoid zinking about you. Rin seems to have dropped off ze face of ze earth.

I get ze impression zat you were trying to promote ze same fatal apathy in me. Well played, Adam. I could almost respect zat; only you also seemed to resent me for not giving you material to work with.  How Pat ze Postman of you.

Unlike you. Zanks for ze moving, “My manager’s wife is dead” bit.

I can do a lot with zat.

I wouldn’t.

But you’ve left me no choice.

Shame on you.

{{Pepe flashes the camera an insincere scowl, which soon melts away.}}

Pepe Morales:

You put zat out on ze network, so I guess you want me to work with it. Your call, Adam.

{{Turning off the road, Morales starts walking towards the shore.}}

Pepe Morales:

I can honestly say zat I am not Zoran Sainovic. Anyone still looking for him, can find Zoran in hell, fucking Skye Walker.

{{Yup.}}

Pepe Morales:

I can’t believe I wished Adam my condolences. Have you seen his list of family and acquaintances? When I send Adam to ze hospital. Which by ze way is definitely happening! When he’s in ze burn unit, and ze doctors are trying to get him to write down who to call in case of emergency? You know, with his bic clenched firmly in his slack jaw because his hands have been charred off in ze inferno. It may take him awhile to jot it down. See, he has about a hundred people he can go too before he’d give poor Skye a second zought. And I’m including Adam’s two fans and pikachu in zat number.

Do you just record doctors unprofessionally giving news of death in hospitals in case you need it for a rainy day? “Dodged a bullet with that Everalda’s breast examination clip, almost wasted it on Guillotina. I should check Cochrane’s scrotum for lumps in case I need a tearjerker for Jennings in the finals.”

Given how much death is in ze world right now, and how many people are losing relatives in droves, your personal touch is a little sick, Adam.

So do you feel personally responsible for Eddie wrestling instead of spending time with his wife? Like her final moments were alone, scared, miserable, and in pain, because your career always came first?

Forget zis month. It isn’t about ze past few days. Let’s just look at ze last four years. All ze time Eddie spent managing you, focusing on your dropkicks instead of ze happiness of his wife. No wonder Skye Walker is screwing Zoran Sainovic’s brains out in hell. Zat is a pretty toxic cult you’ve built around yourself, Adam. I’d escape into video games too. He’ll always have you and your friends, zough; no matter what meaningful connections he loses. He can count on zem. A fact zat zey are all too pleased to remind him of... 

Christ. Ze man just lost his wife.

Maybe it isn’t about you?

{{It’s about me.}}

Pepe Morales:

How long were zey married? Usually with older couples, when one goes, zeir partner isn’t long for ze world. It’s going to be rough when Eddie passes. You zink zat will go down in ze End of Day finals, ze subsequent X*Crown title shot, or some future AWF prestige challenge? Keep it a surprise, Adam. I’m sure you’ll use it to rise to ze occasion.

{{Finally, Pepe wanders around the last crude grey building and can see the sea. White clouds billowing against a vibrant blue sky. The tide moving in. It has a calming effect on the Hurricane.}}

Pepe Morales:

Adam. I am going to tell you something. You should be hearing it from Eddie, but I guess he was too busy neglecting his wife to let you in on ze secret. I don’t zink you’ll believe me, but one day maybe you can accept ze truth. 

You aren’t awkward, Adam. 

It is everyone around you who is awkward. Constant melodrama straight out of a Spanish telenovella. Bizarre phrasing like zey are acting for an audience. Cameras everywhere! Adam, you poor fool. Everyone you know and love is playing you for a sap. You’re cool. Zey are so fucking awkward.

{{Kicking off his loafers, Pepe starts to walk in the san.}}

Pepe Morales:

Adam. Let’s let bygones be bygones. I accept your apology. It is time to put Eddie first.

Zinking about what Eddie is going zrough right now. Everything you’ve put him zrough. You really are a burden.  How soon he is going to die and be reunited with Skye. I want to do something nice for him... nice for Skye.

So I have decided to dedicate my performance in our match to Skye’s memory.

You could try to beat me, but zat would be very disrespectful to her memory.

You could dedicate ze tournament, our match, or another match to her... but zat would be copying me.

It’s a little disrespectful zat you didn’t zink to do zis first.

Poor Eddie.

I hope he finds some peace in my zoughtful gesture.

Adam. I hope you don’t find zis situation awkward.

But it’s about Skye.

{{A fiendish smirk creeps across thin lips. Pepe Morales looks up at seagulls, once again calm. When he loses his temper like this, Pepe almost seems like Zoran Sainovic. ...But then if Pepe was Zoran, who would be fucking Skye in hell?}}