XHF presents Hard Men.Hard Talk. - pilot Part 2. (PPV EoD)
Oct 18, 2020 10:26:34 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dylan, and 1 more like this
Post by eddied on Oct 18, 2020 10:26:34 GMT -5
(An XHF reporter and cameraman, "The Hard man. Hard Talk" team, make their way through a crowd of Covid mask wearing roadies at the Toronto Throwdown SWAT event. They make their way to the main ramp entrance-way and see Eddie D, Armand von Krauss and Frostbite are celebrating their main event win over The Society of The New Breed. )
XHF: Hello again fans and this is XHF’s “Hard men - Hard Talk”, I am here just after the Toronto Throwdown main event... where I am determined to get better results from our target Eddie D. Tonight our target, Eddie D, has joined the famous SWAT stable The KGB. This will be the first interview he's given since joining the group. I am hoping I get to him whilst he's still tired from the ring.
(It’s busy; The three men are tired and sore from their encounter but are being loud, all smiles and back slaps. Eddie sees the reporter coming over.)
XHF: Congratulations on the win and joining the KGB.
EDDIE: What do you want? I don't do interviews straight after a match. I'm f(Bleep)ed.
(Armand crosses over to Eddie, shakes his hand warmly, slaps him on the back and says something in his ear that the sound-man couldn't catch.)
EDDIE: No problem Ke-mo sah-bee. See you there later.
(Armand lights an Egyptian cigarette, bumps shoulders with the cameraman, almost sending him flying, and heads off out of shot with Frostbite.)
XHF: What was that all about?
EDDIE: KGB business you needn't trouble yourself with. Would you just leave?! I don't interview well... out of breath.
XHF: This is your chance to set out your stall ready for our End of Days PPV. And now you know I'm from Hard Talk we can drop the pretense and just hit you with some real questions.
EDDIE: Don't let it be said that I couldn't be there for my fan-base... (Takes a deep breath) Get this over with.
XHF: You were once the enforcer of a stable in the EIWF; the Corp? The posse? The Unit?
EDDIE: The Crew! Don't pretend you didn't know that...
XHF: But you were an understudy there to Hogan and Davie J and now you're set to be a goon for the KGB. Do you call that progress?
EDDIE: I don't get the impression I'm going to be the coffee boy just because I'm new. The great Paul Soutter and countless other legends fought under the KGB banner, so why the hell not me.
We all have a bandit, renegade, anarchic outlook on life and wrestling, so I think we'll do great business together.
We hold plenty of SWAT gold between us. We're already the target of everyone in the locker room as champions anyway. Why not cover each other's backs and bend a few rules here and there?
XHF: You seem to be contemptuous towards your opponents at the PPV. Is that just arrogant ignorant bravado?
Have you done any research on your opponents coming up in the End of Days Doomsday Cage Match?
EDDIE: Yeah a bit, but you have to concentrate on your own performance and play to your strengths. I did watch Dylan's last title fight.
XHF: How did you rate it?
EDDIE: Timeless.
XHF: A timeless classic you mean?
EDDIE: No Timeless... It would have been better if Roxylishus had been there and the whole encounter felt a little dead.
XHF: Finally some fighting talk... Are you aware of Lord Dominicus' work?
EDDIE: I saw him under perform at the Anzac Cup?
I saw him talk about puking that I'm such a "do-gooder" with values? YES I HEAR YOU LORD DOMINICUS! Loud and clear!
He has misunderstood THE Big Deal Eddie D in a big way. I was a "Good Guy" back in the day, but only because that was the name of our tag team; it was very much an ironic title.
I think every rundown, every piece of "cheating" and brutal double team move is all my way of improving the show... and improving my own advancement.
Improving a match I wasn't invited to, just by my mere presence, is a gift I give for gratis to the fed and the fans. You're very welcome...
Improving my chances of victory by bending the rules, because Main Event Eddie getting the win is what the crowd came to see.
Giving the crowd value for money by seeing double the stars performing a vicious move rather than just one. You're not cheating if you're not caught doing it.
Those are my good deeds, but you won't be surprised to hear... not everyone sees my work in the spirit it was intended.
XHF: Well I've saved the best question for last... Do you take steroids!?
(Eddie stands up straight, his face suddenly red with rage and grabs the reporter by the throat...)
EDDIE: I have taken as much of your shit as I'm going to stand.
The only drugs I take are 80 proof and sold legally across every liquor store counter in the USA.
So you sir, have outstayed your welcome....
(Eddie cocks back with his huge right fist and is about to lay the reporter out when he pauses, smiles, lets go of the reporters throat and casually plucks the reporters VIP fan pass from his neck and tears it up.)
EDDIE: SECURITY! HEY SECURITY?! Got an intruder backstage with no pass?! What kind of a F(bleep)ing operation are you Canuck bastards running here?!!
(A huge security guard lumbers into view and looks at the situation.)
Security: You Paparazzi bastards make me sick! I'll kick your arse, eh... Come back here!
(The reporter realizes his situation, that words aren't going save him, and runs with the cameraman towards the nearest exit. The reporter still tries to salvage the scene breathlessly as he runs just a few paces in front of the cameraman)
XHF: Well... that folks...(Gasp) ... was the first episode... (Rasp) ...and possibly the last episode ...of Hard Men. Hard Talk... (Gulp) I hope you enjoyed that... Does that guard have a taser? ...RUN!
(The scene ends abruptly and the credits roll.)
-* No XHF employees or animals were harmed in the creation of this program. All rights reserved. *-
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BRING... IT... ON!