A villain's journey... maybe (EOD X*Crown RP)
Oct 21, 2020 20:33:40 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 1 more like this
Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Oct 21, 2020 20:33:40 GMT -5
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-Begin Transmission-
We see a red planet on screen.
Narrator: A beginning is a very delicate time. Know then that it is the year 10,184. ...THE AFTERWARD... Universe is ruled by the Borg Emperor Mecha-Shaddam IV, my father, but that's not important. In this time, the most precious substance in the universe is the spice Melange. The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice is vital to space travel. Slightly important to our story. This is a flashback to a time that has not happened yet, yet has happened for our main villain. A look back at how we got Evil Borg to travel back to your primitive time.
Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you — this is also connected to a match he's about to have. Against a desolate, dry man with vast space between his ears. Hidden away within the cybernetic parts of this warrior, Dylan, lies the heart of a coward. A man who should have murdered his own family to get to the point he's at today, but he claims didn't, so he's a wuss who's not willing to do the evil that needs to be done. Anyway, onto the flashback...
We find a teenage Evil Borg walking the halls of Multiversity High.
Narrator: Also, this high school is where two universes meet and learn together. …THE AFTERWARD… and …THE FUTURE… Okay, hopefully no more set up is needed.
Teenage Evil Borg is pushed into his locker.
Young Gold Borg: Watch it nerd!
Young Evil: Sorry Gold Borg.
Gold Borg continues to walk down the hall.
Young Evil: Man, he’s so cool.
Young Techno: Are you hurt my young friend?
Young Evil: What? No, I am strong and unfettered by that shove! I don’t need your help! Get away from me vile good natured Tron!
Young Techno: Geez, just trying to help. Stupid Borgs.
Young Techno walks away.
Young Evil: One day I will ruin you and your brethren and all that you stand for. Maybe when you join a wrestling federation. Maybe when you plan to win tag team titles. But definitely when you back a champion with your futuristic robotic enhancements to give him an unequal edge but under the guise of “charity” should that situation ever occur! Mark my words Trons!
Hey everybody, it’s young Heavy Metal Borg! Well, it looks like him, but younger, and with a different name.
Young Evil: Ah yes Boy Band Borg! Glad to see you old chum.
Boy-Band Borg: “And I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Til' the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you”
The bell rings.
Young Evil: Blast! We shall be late to Dastardly Deeds 101! Let’s move!
They run to class as the scene swipes away! We now see them sitting in the classroom.
Teacher: All right class, let’s go over our homework assignments. As you know, you were supposed to use someone else’s toothbrush to cleam bathroom grought without getting caught. After that, we’re going to go over “accidentally” killing a pet and replacing it with another. So first…
Evil Borg starts to doze off. We now enter his mind, because that’s a technology of the time he’s in you see, and see his dream. He’s sitting poolside while a beautiful lady walks along the nearby diving board and jumps in. She swims under water across the pool, until she makes it to the pool ladder in front of Evil Borg. Only, her face is not that of a pretty lady anymore, and her limbs are different…
: Hi Evil, you know how cute I always thought you were…
This creature starts to take off it’s top…
Teacher: Evil Borg… Eeeevil Borg… EVIL BORG!
Evil wakes up from his dream.
Young Evil: Huh!? What the—that was weird.
Teacher: Evil Borg, were sleeping in class!
Young Evil: ….yes.
Teacher: Excellent, you get extra credit! Learn from him class.
Boy-Band Borg: “Tell me why
'Cause I never wanna hear you say
I want it—“ *cough cough*
“Want to whole lotta love!
You've been learning
Um baby I been learning
All them good times baby, baby
I've been year-yearning”
Young Evil: Did you just go through puberty?
: CUT!
We hear a record scratch and the camera pulls out to reveal we’re on a sound stage.
: What the hell was that? Heavy, this is the last time I let you write a script!
: “They find you to time you
Say you're the best they've ever seen
You should have never trusted Hollywood”
: I don’t care if Mecha Gold-Bear IV did the revisions! I would never have been pushed into a locker! Plus, this dweeb acts nothing like me!
Young Evil: You shall rue the day you blasphemed my acting!
: Ugh, where was that motivation on set you little twerp? Get outta here!
Young Evil walks away downtrodden.
: An origin story? That’s so 2010. It’s all about long, drawn out, connected storytelling! People want continuity! People want drama with high stakes! Let’s try this again…
Fade.
We see Evil Borg sitting in the cockpit of a space ship.
Narrator: The Trons have tried to bring about …THE FUTURE… by collecting the Unlimited Pebbles, an endeavor the Borgs were able to accomplish before. Now, the Borgs are on a collision course to stop them. However, the Trons have built themselves a champion, Dylanos, to collect the Pebbles for them. A simpleton of the highest order. A no good bum that couldn’t win the big one until he got enhancements from the Trons. The Trons who themselves could never win when it counts, have somehow combined their ways to create something great, obviously by accident, and it is up to the Borgs to stop this piece of crap with a shaggy beard and abs like cottage cheese.
: Okay, we get it.
Narrator: Sorry, I just want to emphasize that he sucks.
: I know. Anyway, let me get into character. Eh hem—Heavy Metal-Borg! Status report!
: OOOOOOP!
: Excellent! Mecha Gold-Bear IV, how’s the warp drive?
Mecha Gold-Bear IV lowers the latest issue of Panda Monthly.
: Query? Mecha Gold-Bear IV does not see a warp drive in the vicinity.
: Ugh, just pretend.
: Speak and act so as to make it appear that something is the case when in fact it is not?
: Yes!
: Then yes… the warp drive is optimal.
: Excellent, now let us find this champion of the Trons and destroy him! We are zeroing in on his location! We just have to drive through this asteroid field for dramatic effect!
Evil grabs the steering wheel and struggles as sparks fly in the cockpit. Heavy holds on for dear life a little too strongly in the background. Mecha Gold-Bear IV just stands still. After a minute of this, the “effects” stop.
: Wow! What a rough ride, but we have made it through!
: I cannot wait to help you with your definitive and full proof plan to stop Dylan Black and bring about …THE AFTERWARD…
: Yes…but you mean Dylanos. Time to bring the evil to this not so pretty boy! Time to remove the Unlimited Pebbles from his clutches and make sure …THE FUTURE… never exists and …THE AFTERWARD… is the only future that succeeds!
We cut to “outside” as the ship “lands” on a planet, but it appears to be really really bad 3D graphics. Like, worst than Starship Troopers the cartoon show. That’s right, there was a 3D cartoon show, don’t look it up for your own sanity. Anyway, We cut to the loading bay doors opening. Evil Borg runs out.
: Dylanos! I have NOT come to bargain! Your quest is over and you will fall to the mighty Evil Borg! I will shred this universe down to its last atom and then, with the pebbles you've collected for me, create …THE AFTERWARD… getting rid of all good, and making evil as the only alignment given. A grateful universe would know no different. Show yourself and meet your fate!
Evil points his blaster at the door of a building awaiting Dylanos to emerge. Footsteps are heard approaching the doorway. Dylanos emerges
: Hi Evil, you know how cute I always thought you were…
: CUT!
The camera pulls out to reveal this sound stage.
: This guy—girl—they again? Really? Could we hire no one else for the role!?
Heavy peaks out of the “ship.”
: “We get these pills to swallow
How they stick
In your throat
Tastes like gold
Oh, what you do to me
No one knows”
: Oh, I guess not. All right. Then we need to go back to the drawing board. This isn’t working out. I mean, re-using the Unlimited Pebbles was a nice touch for continuity, but the Trons didn’t really have anything to do with that last time.
: OOOOOP!
: Look, we need to show the world that Dylan is a sham and the Trons are holding him up on a pedestal and it’s not fair! The Borgs are far superior to the Trons! One of us was an X*Crown champion first damnit! I mean, it was a legendary Borg who had lived for centuries and was a master of time, space, and war; but she was not ready to bring about …THE AFTERWARD… at that time. I am, and I’m here now to do it! I’m a former XHF Tag Team champion dangit! I have a giant robot up my sleeve! And my former tag team champion partner! What more do I need! The other people don’t matter, all I care about is Dylan and ruining whatever crazy plan with him the Trons have going!
: What a wonderful and magnificent plan you have hatched master.
: …Mecha, end pretend command.
: Copy, pretending mode off. Now Mecha Gold-Bear IV will talk earnestly.
: What do we do to convince them that I will be the one to topple Dylan?
: Perhaps popcorn stunts? Chance of mortality at normal rate is .02%, but due to lack of expertise in stunt knowledge safety, mortality percentage changes to 20%. Bad ass factor however also increases 50%.
: Oh, I like that last part!
Fade
We see the Borg Mobile driving toward a ramp at full speed! It goes up the ramp and into the air!
: THIS WAS SUCH A BAD IDEA! CUT! CUUUUT!
We cut.
We open on Evil Borg sitting on the sound stage with a bandage on his head.
: None if this is working out properly. Just know that I am evil incarnate, and I am coming to destroy whatever plan the Trons have with Dylan. I will tear his robotic limbs from his body, maybe add them to Mecha Gold-Bear IV as a trophy. If I win the X*Crown in the process, great. That will only further our plans for ...THE AFTERWARD… two birds with one stone. But as long as the Trons are out there, plotting and planning for ...THE FUTURE… then they are a possible hindrance to our evil plans, and we cannot, will not allow it! Why did they choose to help a man who claims to be deranged and yet managed to escape a murder charge? I don’t know.
Narrator: I know right? That fucking prick.
Evil Borg looks up.
: You’re still here? You hate him as much as I do, what’s up?
Narrator: His dead wife was my cousin. I want to see that asshole rot!
: Oof. Well, his limbs already are! MWUA HA HA HA! Dylan Black will feel terrible for the day he decided to join forces with the Trons, I will make sure of that. He thinks he’s evil, he doesn’t know true evil. I will bring the evil. I will bring all the eeeeeevil!
Narrator: Not that I don’t enjoy destroying Dylan talk, but you know there’s other people in the match?
: So? None of those rubes matter! And not preparing for any of them certainly won’t be my downfall! No, all my hate is for the Trons… I mean Dylan, by way of the Trons. MWUA HA HA HA!
Fade out.
Mecha Gold-Bear IV is seen in the garage, using different tools on something. He stops to look back at the Panda Monthly that lays open on the nearby table. He then turns back to his work.
: Mecha Gold-Bear IV’s secret ...THE AFTERWARD… plan.exe is updating at optimum speed.
What pray tell could this mean!? Can Mecha Gold-Bear IV do what the other Borgs have not so far? Can Evil Borg truly win the big one? Will we ever meet Heavy Metal Borg’s distant cousin, Blue Grass Borg? Answers to all these and more on the next episode of GUNS! Same shoot time, same shoot channel!
...By which I mean whenever Magnus uploads it. Good night everybody!
-End Transmission-
Loading...
Loading...
-Begin Transmission-
We see a red planet on screen.
Narrator: A beginning is a very delicate time. Know then that it is the year 10,184. ...THE AFTERWARD... Universe is ruled by the Borg Emperor Mecha-Shaddam IV, my father, but that's not important. In this time, the most precious substance in the universe is the spice Melange. The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice is vital to space travel. Slightly important to our story. This is a flashback to a time that has not happened yet, yet has happened for our main villain. A look back at how we got Evil Borg to travel back to your primitive time.
Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you — this is also connected to a match he's about to have. Against a desolate, dry man with vast space between his ears. Hidden away within the cybernetic parts of this warrior, Dylan, lies the heart of a coward. A man who should have murdered his own family to get to the point he's at today, but he claims didn't, so he's a wuss who's not willing to do the evil that needs to be done. Anyway, onto the flashback...
A VILLAINS JOURNEY
We find a teenage Evil Borg walking the halls of Multiversity High.
Narrator: Also, this high school is where two universes meet and learn together. …THE AFTERWARD… and …THE FUTURE… Okay, hopefully no more set up is needed.
Teenage Evil Borg is pushed into his locker.
Young Gold Borg: Watch it nerd!
Young Evil: Sorry Gold Borg.
Gold Borg continues to walk down the hall.
Young Evil: Man, he’s so cool.
Young Techno: Are you hurt my young friend?
Young Evil: What? No, I am strong and unfettered by that shove! I don’t need your help! Get away from me vile good natured Tron!
Young Techno: Geez, just trying to help. Stupid Borgs.
Young Techno walks away.
Young Evil: One day I will ruin you and your brethren and all that you stand for. Maybe when you join a wrestling federation. Maybe when you plan to win tag team titles. But definitely when you back a champion with your futuristic robotic enhancements to give him an unequal edge but under the guise of “charity” should that situation ever occur! Mark my words Trons!
Hey everybody, it’s young Heavy Metal Borg! Well, it looks like him, but younger, and with a different name.
Young Evil: Ah yes Boy Band Borg! Glad to see you old chum.
Boy-Band Borg: “And I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Til' the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you”
The bell rings.
Young Evil: Blast! We shall be late to Dastardly Deeds 101! Let’s move!
They run to class as the scene swipes away! We now see them sitting in the classroom.
Teacher: All right class, let’s go over our homework assignments. As you know, you were supposed to use someone else’s toothbrush to cleam bathroom grought without getting caught. After that, we’re going to go over “accidentally” killing a pet and replacing it with another. So first…
Evil Borg starts to doze off. We now enter his mind, because that’s a technology of the time he’s in you see, and see his dream. He’s sitting poolside while a beautiful lady walks along the nearby diving board and jumps in. She swims under water across the pool, until she makes it to the pool ladder in front of Evil Borg. Only, her face is not that of a pretty lady anymore, and her limbs are different…
: Hi Evil, you know how cute I always thought you were…This creature starts to take off it’s top…
Teacher: Evil Borg… Eeeevil Borg… EVIL BORG!
Evil wakes up from his dream.
Young Evil: Huh!? What the—that was weird.
Teacher: Evil Borg, were sleeping in class!
Young Evil: ….yes.
Teacher: Excellent, you get extra credit! Learn from him class.
Boy-Band Borg: “Tell me why
'Cause I never wanna hear you say
I want it—“ *cough cough*
“Want to whole lotta love!
You've been learning
Um baby I been learning
All them good times baby, baby
I've been year-yearning”
Young Evil: Did you just go through puberty?
: CUT!We hear a record scratch and the camera pulls out to reveal we’re on a sound stage.
: What the hell was that? Heavy, this is the last time I let you write a script!: “They find you to time youSay you're the best they've ever seen
You should have never trusted Hollywood”
: I don’t care if Mecha Gold-Bear IV did the revisions! I would never have been pushed into a locker! Plus, this dweeb acts nothing like me!Young Evil: You shall rue the day you blasphemed my acting!
: Ugh, where was that motivation on set you little twerp? Get outta here!Young Evil walks away downtrodden.
: An origin story? That’s so 2010. It’s all about long, drawn out, connected storytelling! People want continuity! People want drama with high stakes! Let’s try this again…Fade.
BORGS VS. TRONS: INFINITY WAR: THE SAGA CONTINUES
We see Evil Borg sitting in the cockpit of a space ship.
Narrator: The Trons have tried to bring about …THE FUTURE… by collecting the Unlimited Pebbles, an endeavor the Borgs were able to accomplish before. Now, the Borgs are on a collision course to stop them. However, the Trons have built themselves a champion, Dylanos, to collect the Pebbles for them. A simpleton of the highest order. A no good bum that couldn’t win the big one until he got enhancements from the Trons. The Trons who themselves could never win when it counts, have somehow combined their ways to create something great, obviously by accident, and it is up to the Borgs to stop this piece of crap with a shaggy beard and abs like cottage cheese.
: Okay, we get it.Narrator: Sorry, I just want to emphasize that he sucks.
: I know. Anyway, let me get into character. Eh hem—Heavy Metal-Borg! Status report!: OOOOOOP!: Excellent! Mecha Gold-Bear IV, how’s the warp drive?Mecha Gold-Bear IV lowers the latest issue of Panda Monthly.
: Query? Mecha Gold-Bear IV does not see a warp drive in the vicinity.: Ugh, just pretend.: Speak and act so as to make it appear that something is the case when in fact it is not?: Yes!: Then yes… the warp drive is optimal.: Excellent, now let us find this champion of the Trons and destroy him! We are zeroing in on his location! We just have to drive through this asteroid field for dramatic effect!Evil grabs the steering wheel and struggles as sparks fly in the cockpit. Heavy holds on for dear life a little too strongly in the background. Mecha Gold-Bear IV just stands still. After a minute of this, the “effects” stop.
: Wow! What a rough ride, but we have made it through!: I cannot wait to help you with your definitive and full proof plan to stop Dylan Black and bring about …THE AFTERWARD…: Yes…but you mean Dylanos. Time to bring the evil to this not so pretty boy! Time to remove the Unlimited Pebbles from his clutches and make sure …THE FUTURE… never exists and …THE AFTERWARD… is the only future that succeeds!We cut to “outside” as the ship “lands” on a planet, but it appears to be really really bad 3D graphics. Like, worst than Starship Troopers the cartoon show. That’s right, there was a 3D cartoon show, don’t look it up for your own sanity. Anyway, We cut to the loading bay doors opening. Evil Borg runs out.
: Dylanos! I have NOT come to bargain! Your quest is over and you will fall to the mighty Evil Borg! I will shred this universe down to its last atom and then, with the pebbles you've collected for me, create …THE AFTERWARD… getting rid of all good, and making evil as the only alignment given. A grateful universe would know no different. Show yourself and meet your fate!Evil points his blaster at the door of a building awaiting Dylanos to emerge. Footsteps are heard approaching the doorway. Dylanos emerges
: Hi Evil, you know how cute I always thought you were…: CUT!The camera pulls out to reveal this sound stage.
: This guy—girl—they again? Really? Could we hire no one else for the role!?Heavy peaks out of the “ship.”
: “We get these pills to swallowHow they stick
In your throat
Tastes like gold
Oh, what you do to me
No one knows”
: Oh, I guess not. All right. Then we need to go back to the drawing board. This isn’t working out. I mean, re-using the Unlimited Pebbles was a nice touch for continuity, but the Trons didn’t really have anything to do with that last time.: OOOOOP!: Look, we need to show the world that Dylan is a sham and the Trons are holding him up on a pedestal and it’s not fair! The Borgs are far superior to the Trons! One of us was an X*Crown champion first damnit! I mean, it was a legendary Borg who had lived for centuries and was a master of time, space, and war; but she was not ready to bring about …THE AFTERWARD… at that time. I am, and I’m here now to do it! I’m a former XHF Tag Team champion dangit! I have a giant robot up my sleeve! And my former tag team champion partner! What more do I need! The other people don’t matter, all I care about is Dylan and ruining whatever crazy plan with him the Trons have going!: What a wonderful and magnificent plan you have hatched master.: …Mecha, end pretend command.: Copy, pretending mode off. Now Mecha Gold-Bear IV will talk earnestly.: What do we do to convince them that I will be the one to topple Dylan?: Perhaps popcorn stunts? Chance of mortality at normal rate is .02%, but due to lack of expertise in stunt knowledge safety, mortality percentage changes to 20%. Bad ass factor however also increases 50%.: Oh, I like that last part!Fade
GRATUITOUS STUNTS
We see the Borg Mobile driving toward a ramp at full speed! It goes up the ramp and into the air!
: THIS WAS SUCH A BAD IDEA! CUT! CUUUUT!We cut.
JUST A SIMPLE TALK
We open on Evil Borg sitting on the sound stage with a bandage on his head.
: None if this is working out properly. Just know that I am evil incarnate, and I am coming to destroy whatever plan the Trons have with Dylan. I will tear his robotic limbs from his body, maybe add them to Mecha Gold-Bear IV as a trophy. If I win the X*Crown in the process, great. That will only further our plans for ...THE AFTERWARD… two birds with one stone. But as long as the Trons are out there, plotting and planning for ...THE FUTURE… then they are a possible hindrance to our evil plans, and we cannot, will not allow it! Why did they choose to help a man who claims to be deranged and yet managed to escape a murder charge? I don’t know.Narrator: I know right? That fucking prick.
Evil Borg looks up.
: You’re still here? You hate him as much as I do, what’s up?Narrator: His dead wife was my cousin. I want to see that asshole rot!
: Oof. Well, his limbs already are! MWUA HA HA HA! Dylan Black will feel terrible for the day he decided to join forces with the Trons, I will make sure of that. He thinks he’s evil, he doesn’t know true evil. I will bring the evil. I will bring all the eeeeeevil!Narrator: Not that I don’t enjoy destroying Dylan talk, but you know there’s other people in the match?
: So? None of those rubes matter! And not preparing for any of them certainly won’t be my downfall! No, all my hate is for the Trons… I mean Dylan, by way of the Trons. MWUA HA HA HA!Fade out.
POST CREDITS
Mecha Gold-Bear IV is seen in the garage, using different tools on something. He stops to look back at the Panda Monthly that lays open on the nearby table. He then turns back to his work.
: Mecha Gold-Bear IV’s secret ...THE AFTERWARD… plan.exe is updating at optimum speed.What pray tell could this mean!? Can Mecha Gold-Bear IV do what the other Borgs have not so far? Can Evil Borg truly win the big one? Will we ever meet Heavy Metal Borg’s distant cousin, Blue Grass Borg? Answers to all these and more on the next episode of GUNS! Same shoot time, same shoot channel!
...By which I mean whenever Magnus uploads it. Good night everybody!
-End Transmission-
