Post by mosler on Oct 27, 2020 20:42:03 GMT -5
"I was at a gas station, minding my own business... buying scratch and win tickets, Slim Jim's to lure tiny mammals into my welcoming mouth. When he attacked me from behind like a dog - or worse - an ape. It was sudden and unexpected, like a meteorite bringing an ice age. Those were cold Jurassic days. So I know a little something about hard jurassic times."
(A hulking brute of a man with a giant blonde afro, tight grey suit, pink shirt, and red tie, lumbers towards the camera. It's THE American Dream, Dusty Rhodes!!!)
Dinosaur Bones: You don't know what hard times are daddy-
(On closer inspection, it is actually The Dread Lord Dinosaur Bones. The undead dinosaur has busted out a Dusty Rhodes working man costume as part of his promise to visit every corner of the earth to collect free candy this halloween season.)
Dinosaur Bones: HARD TIMES are when the humanoid textile workers around this galaxy are out of work - they got four or five younger mammals and can't pay them wages - can't buy them food. HARD TIMES are when the autoworkers are out of work, and they tell em "Go Home!" ...and HARD TIMES are when a mammal is working a job 30 puny years, they give him a time piece, kick him in the backquarters and say "hey, a computer took your place, daddy." That's hard times. That's. hard. times.
....And Jeff Gillam, you put HARD TIMES on this plane of existence by taking The Dread Lord out. That's hard times!
And we all had hard times... together.
I admit, I don't look like the athlete of the day 'suppose to look. My skeleton is just a little big. My tail is just a little big. But brother... I AM BAD, and they know I'M BAD.
And there were two bad dudes. One was Zoran Sainovic, and he's dead, brother. And the other one is right here. Also dead, but bad to the bone!
Rotting meat walkin' Jeff Gillam, the world's anarchy title belongs to these apes. I'm going to reach out, RIGHT NOW, with my tiny T-Rex arm, and I want you mammals at home to know MY CLAW is touching YOUR STICKY, GROSS, YET ODDLY DELICIOUS FLESHING HANDS... for this gathering of the biggest body of unwashed apes in this era - in this multiverse - all over the world now. Because the fear that was given to my supreme being in this time, I will repay you now!
BECAUSE I WILL BE THE NEXT WORLD'S ANARCHY CHAMPION OF THIS HARD TIME JURASSIC BLUES!
(With promises of another 7 million years of terror, the giant dracoliche son of a plummer lurches off into the night.)
(A hulking brute of a man with a giant blonde afro, tight grey suit, pink shirt, and red tie, lumbers towards the camera. It's THE American Dream, Dusty Rhodes!!!)
Dinosaur Bones: You don't know what hard times are daddy-
(On closer inspection, it is actually The Dread Lord Dinosaur Bones. The undead dinosaur has busted out a Dusty Rhodes working man costume as part of his promise to visit every corner of the earth to collect free candy this halloween season.)
Dinosaur Bones: HARD TIMES are when the humanoid textile workers around this galaxy are out of work - they got four or five younger mammals and can't pay them wages - can't buy them food. HARD TIMES are when the autoworkers are out of work, and they tell em "Go Home!" ...and HARD TIMES are when a mammal is working a job 30 puny years, they give him a time piece, kick him in the backquarters and say "hey, a computer took your place, daddy." That's hard times. That's. hard. times.
....And Jeff Gillam, you put HARD TIMES on this plane of existence by taking The Dread Lord out. That's hard times!
And we all had hard times... together.
I admit, I don't look like the athlete of the day 'suppose to look. My skeleton is just a little big. My tail is just a little big. But brother... I AM BAD, and they know I'M BAD.
And there were two bad dudes. One was Zoran Sainovic, and he's dead, brother. And the other one is right here. Also dead, but bad to the bone!
Rotting meat walkin' Jeff Gillam, the world's anarchy title belongs to these apes. I'm going to reach out, RIGHT NOW, with my tiny T-Rex arm, and I want you mammals at home to know MY CLAW is touching YOUR STICKY, GROSS, YET ODDLY DELICIOUS FLESHING HANDS... for this gathering of the biggest body of unwashed apes in this era - in this multiverse - all over the world now. Because the fear that was given to my supreme being in this time, I will repay you now!
BECAUSE I WILL BE THE NEXT WORLD'S ANARCHY CHAMPION OF THIS HARD TIME JURASSIC BLUES!
(With promises of another 7 million years of terror, the giant dracoliche son of a plummer lurches off into the night.)