Wednesday Night Inferno, Episode #2 [The Kindling: 10/28]
Oct 29, 2020 0:10:44 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Kira Izumi, and 5 more like this
Post by anthonycaffrey on Oct 29, 2020 0:10:44 GMT -5
Washington: Lighting the fire tonight is the one, the only, Mistress Discipline!
Mistress Discipline makes her way onto the Pumpkin Fair Stage wearing a full length tan trench coat and brown iconic “which hat” while holding a carved pumpkin with a sharp toothy grin, open top and lit with a real candle. The crowd reacts with enthusiasm and boisterous applause. Upon reaching the center of the stage she holds the pumpkin high for all to see before setting it down next to the ceremonial fire bowl filled with a flammable liquid.
Mistress Discipline: Thank you all for attending tonight’s event and maintaining a safe distance from those around you. Tonight I have the great honor to welcome each of you to Wednesday Night Inferno and the second Fireside event EVER.
The crowd responds with hoots and excited yells. Mistress Discipline pulls a small hand bell out of her pocket and rings it. Much like children in the classroom, the crowd settles down.
Mistress Discipline: Tonight, I am the one who gets to share my fire with Fireside. Tonight, I hold the honor of starting the show by lighting this bowl aflame. Tonight, this fire will shine all night long, just like the pumpkins around us and the fire that burns in each wrestler that moves between them.
Mistress Discipline gestures to all the pumpkin lanterns that are lit with LEDs. The crowd cheers for a minute before Mistress Discipline rings her bell.
Mistress Discipline: I stand before you all knowing what drives me to continue to push myself in a field predominantly composed of men. I succeed because I know I am capable. Come win or almost win, I know I have the ability to, at minimum, equal my opponents when we are both at our bests. I am here to inspire the next generation to have self-confidence in their own abilities. To shoot for the moon and land among the stars. Your gender is not what limits you. You can do it because we have done it.
The crowd erupts into loud cheers expected from twice as many people as Mistress Discipline pulls the candle from within her pumpkin and passes the flame into the ceremonial bowl.
Wright: The wise words of Mistress Discipline as we welcome you to another of Inferno! I’m Oliver Wright, alongside my tag team partner UnJoo Park!
Park: She’s a warrior, gotta love her. Speaking of tag teams, tonight we’ve got our first ever tag team match with POWERDRIVER taking on Joe Nobody and Donny Deville!
Wright: Mistress lit the fire over at Jack Pumpkin’s Glow, where in tonight’s main event she’ll fight in the second round of the Kindling against the jack of all trades Derrick Lancaster and the Self Made God Misha Constantine in a Falls Count Anywhere Match!
Park: And the winner of that match will go onto fight the winner of the other Kindling Match, a Falls Count Anywhere Match at the creepy Eastern State Penitentiary featuring the honorable Kyosuke Nakata, the ‘Merciless’ Yet Approachable Jonnie Valentine, and… uh… MAJESTY.
Wright: I’m glad to not be on location and not commentating those tonight, I do not envy these competitors. Here at the homebase, we also have two debuting rising stars in MYOJIN and Hayden Callahan!
Park: Don’t forget the first five minute challenge from Dinosaur Bones! Who will be the dino’s first victim?
Wright: All that and more on tonight’s Inferno, but first, let’s take you to Eastern State for our opening match, pre-recorded earlier this evening!
As the last bits of light shine down on Cellblock 7, Marcus Washington looks anything but comfortable. He is there to announce the participants, then get the hell out of the penitentary. Even his introductions are a little snappier and the referee looks very uncomfortable.
Washington: The following contest is the second round of the Kindling! It is a Falls Count Anywhere Match here at Eastern State Penitentiary, and the winner will go onto the finals for the FIRESIDE World Championship!
Washington: Introducing first, from Fukuoka, Japan, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is “The Golden Dragon”, Kyosuke Nakata!
Kyosuke is standing in the cellblock, looking at his opponents and his surroundings. A man of honor and of the people, this is not home for him. He doesn’t even have his jeweled shoulder padding or his blue coat. He is dressed to wrestle, win, and get out.
Washington: His opponent, from Palm Springs, he is ‘Merciless, Yet Approachble’, he is weighing in tonight at 234 pounds, he is Jonnie Valentine!
Jonnie is doing some last-minute stretches. He has no crowd support to lean on tonight, the gritty backdrop to the match reminding him of some of the films he’s worked on and back alleys he’s hit late at night. This is going to be brutal, but he’s ready.
Washington: And finally… from the Feywild… uh, they weigh in at 183 pounds… MAJESTY.
It’s the first time we really get a good look at MAJESTY without them destroying someone. They twirl around with a wide grin. This wretched place is their fortress to make friends, and tonight they have two in the form of Valentine and Nakata.
The bell rings, and just before Nakata or Valentine can actually get their hands on MAJESTY, the lights flicker and they disappear into one of the cells, popping their head out. Nakata moves closer, and then one of MAJESTY’s arms appears from another cell, with a hand beckoning for one of their opponents to come closer. Valentine approaches this cell, but surprisingly no one is there. Another look down the hall reveals that each cell as a different part of MAJESTY sticking out of it, an unnerving showing to say the least.
The first offense in the match is a flying throat punch from MAJESTY, coming down from the second floor to strike down Nakata. Not usually flighty but freakishly strong, MAJESTY picks up Nakata and tosses him into a cell, trying to keep the match down to a one-on-one. Jonnie Valentine has summoned the courage of a former world champion and strikes MAJESTY from behind, rocking them with a hard punch to the ear. Valentine grabs MAJESTY’s head and bounces it off the hard and cold brick wall, knocking them down to the floor as Jonnie is not pulling his punches on the Feywild Figure.
Jonnie grabs one of MAJESTY’s arms, pulling them closer to another one of the cells. Jonnie swings a door open, and the camera truly reveals the contents: a dirty bed, a gross toilet, no windows to the outside or even showing a remote ounce of hope. The walls have both chalk markings on them and cries for help and for someone to listen scribbled all over. Valentine takes MAJESTY’s right arm and positions it near the cell, before dropkicking the cell door to slam shut on MAJESTY’s arm! MAJESTY howls in pain and the lights flicker again. Valentine moves out of the cell to flag down the referee, but by the time the referee gets into the cell, MAJESTY is gone again.
Nakata waits outside of the cell, and Valentine has to keep his head on a swivel as he’s suddenly locked in a test of strength against the technician/striker hybrid. Kyosuke gets the upper hand and pulls Valentine’s arm, kicking it right at the elbow for maximum damage. Valentine shakes out his arm and Nakata stays on top of him, delivering a barrage of kicks that have Valentine retreating to the point he falls over one of the benches in the middle of the hall. The Golden Dragon takes the opportunity to pin his opponent.
...ONE…
...Valentine kicks out!
The most resounding noise is the sound of the referee’s hand hitting concrete. It is unnerving to say the least as Kyosuke backs up, ready to try to kick Valentine’s head into next week, win the match, and get the hell out of the penitentiary. Valentine makes it back up, and Kyosuke charges forward with the Dragon’s Breath, only to kick the brick wall instead! Kyosuke screams in pain as Valentine takes advantage of his misfortune to body slam him through the bench in the hallway! He goes for the cover!
...ONE…
...The lights flicker!
Suddenly in Kyosuke’s palace is MAJESTY! MAJESTY takes advantage of startling Valentine and punches him downstairs, knocking him down to the floor. MAJESTY intertwines their legs and hangs backwards like a spider, wrapping their hands around Valentine’s throat and attempting to choke him out with a Muta lock!
Valentine looks for a way out, but there are no ropes in the penitentiary! Valentine reaches out as his face begins to turn a bright red color and looks for any kind of advantage he can find. What he does get his hand on is a piece of the splintered bench, which he jabs into MAJESTY! The stab makes MAJESTY release the hold as they enter their own world of pain and Valentine gets a few moments to catch his breath. He sits on the floor for a few seconds, taking the time to soak in that he’s fighting for an opportunity at the FIRESIDE World Championship, to win the big one again for his fans, and keeps going.
Valentine sits on top of MAJESTY and strikes down with lefts and rights, but MAJESTY reaches out and grabs the camera, and suddenly we’re in a brand new place in the penitentiary! It is incredibly jarring as the two are in the exact same position but the setting has wildly changed.
The cell is decorated as if we had traveled back to 1929. This is clearly the nicest cell at Eastern State, a set of beds with nice linens for an inmate, a place to write letters and notes, and even fresh flowers in a pot. There is even the dimmest bit of outside light coming in. Valentine freezes up for a few seconds at the change in scenery, allowing MAJESTY to take the lamp off the beside drawer and smash it against his back. Valentine drops to the floor. MAJESTY goes looking outside of the cell, knowing that their other opponent is not too far off.
The sign just outside of the cell says “Al Capone’s Cell”, indicating that it once belonged to the famous gangster. MAJESTY is forcibly met with the Keys to the Kingdom, sending them not only back into the cell, but causing them to slam hard into the wooden desk, knocking a drawer out. The room is suddenly cramped as all three competitors, a cameraman, and the referee are in the room. Kyosuke urges the cameraman and the referee to move out of their way for their safety as he grabs onto the desk/bookcase combination, pulling it down onto the Feywild Figure!
Kyosuke Nakata shakes his head, wiping the sweat off his brow and knowing that his honor may have to take a backseat to his survival and his pursuit of the FIRESIDE World Championship. He turns around to find that Jonnie Valentine is right on top of him again, and he fights back with a total lack of appreciation for the movie star’s offense. Kyosuke fires off another mid-kick, and Valentine responds by shoving him full force into the wall, knocking the picture to the floor where the glass shatters. Jonnie grabs the chair off the ground and slams it so hard through Nakata, Nakata’s head ends up sticking out of the seat. As Nakata falls to the ground, Valentine looks over and discovers that MAJESTY has gotten out from underneath the fallen desk, but they are nowhere to be found.
Taking the opportunity to get even more offense in, Valentine decides to focus on his opponent instead, grabbing Kyosuke and hitting them with a tigerbomb onto one of the beds. With Nakata still down on the bed, he pulls him closer so his head is hanging off the side of the bed. He then climbs up on the other bed and leaps off, dropping a leg on Nakata’s head hanging off the side. Valentine gestures for the referee to come closer and count the pin.
...ONE…
...TWO…
...TH-Nakata gets a shoulder up!
Valentine doesn’t have anything nice to say about the count, really hoping that it would be three. The sound of laughter in the hall inspires him to grab the nearest weapon he can find, which in this case is the flowerpot, and give chase. MAJESTY is indeed out in the hall, but they manage to avoid the incoming flowerpot. Valentine charges to throw a running shoulder block, but MAJESTY is suddenly at the end of a longer hallway, this time at the top of a staircase. MAJESTY goes to teleport one more time, but Valentine is right there with one of his world famous dropkicks, sending both men down the stairs!
The cameraman loses sight of all of the competitors. The area outside of the cell reveals that it’s still very much 2020, but neither man wants to go down the stairs, as they know it leads to the Hole, where inmates in the penitentiary were sent to serve out solitary confinement. Both do not want to be there as they head down the stairs. This place smells an unkind smell.
If there wasn’t a door open at the top of the steps, there would be no light or hope down here. Some of the cells don’t have toilets and are broken and decrepit. No human beings should be down here right now, but at the bottom of the stairs lies Jonnie Valentine and whatever MAJESTY is. The referee is forced with no choice but to count as after the fall, MAJESTY has gotten the upper hand and has an arm over Valentine’s shoulders.
...ONE…
...TWO…
...TH-NO! Valentine kicks out!
The camera shakes as the cameraman shudders. MAJESTY spins back up to their feet, and is ready to put away Valentine with Sweet Djinn Music. They begin to spin and laugh, this place of horror and despair could very well be a second home for them. The lights ceases for a few seconds, then reemerges at the top of the steps. No one has moved, this is not another one of MAJESTY’s movements. They move to approach the stairs, curious at the flicker… only to be met with a leaping Raikiri from Kyosuke Nakata!
The leaping Shining Wizard catches MAJESTY off guard as all three men are down. A worn and weary Nakata crawls towards MAJESTY and hooks the leg, ready for the nightmare to be over.
...ONE…
...TWO…
...MAJESTY KICKS OUT!
Unfortunately, the nightmare has not yet come to its conclusion. Kyosuke digs down deep and summons the courage to return to their feet, ready to blast either of his opponents with the Dragon’s Breath and move onto the finals of the Kindling. Valentine, who fell down the stair with that dropkick, is the first to stand. He is also the next to fall, as Nakata finally nails him with the Dragon’s Breath. Nakata hooks the leg!
...ONE…
...TWO…
...MAJESTY breaks the pin!
The honorable Nakata realizes as the double axe handle hits the back of his head that MAJESTY is somehow standing over him. Running low on energy in this hell, Nakata rises to his feet. He is immediately grabbed by one of the Feywild Figure’s hands as his face is smothered and one of MAJESTY’s hands goes screaming down his gullet. He shakes as he tries to fight the Peacekeeper, but MAJESTY uses brute force to slam his head into the ground as well. Nakata doesn’t move much after that.
...ONE…
...TWO…
...THREE!
MAJESTY rises as the referee indicates that the match is over. The referee does not make eye contact, but we do hear him beg for mercy from the terrifying figure. As the world comes to realize that MAJESTY will be fighting in the finals of the Kindling for the FIRESIDE World Championship, the last thing we see is a horrifying fade to black.
Washington: The following contest is a Five Minute Challenge! Stay in the ring with Dinosaur Bones for five minutes or defeat him via pinfall or submission to win the match! Introducing first, from La Brea Tar Pits, Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 320 pounds, he is "The Dread Lord" DINOSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUR BONESSSS!
Light piano music sets a sophisticate tone as a single classy spotlights moves up to the entrance curtains. All attention turns to the stage-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The camera pans away from the entrance, following the blood curling screams into the crowd. A section of the audience has started to panic, fleeing from the source of the disturbance. Anyone who doesn't backpedal fast enough is knocked through the air as that prehistoric menace rampages through the audience towards the ring. There has to be a precedent for this vicious fan treatment. Japan. The George Clinton cover of "Walk the Dinosaur" pumps over the PA system, to add an extra level of warning for those damned souls with seats between The Dread Lord and the ring.
Washington: Featuring the following challenger, weighing in at two hundred and fifty two pounds, he is Bucky “Titanium” Knight!
The crowd cheers as "Dead Man's Hand" plays. Bucky stands out and gives the crowd a "WELLL HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW--------DDDDDDDDYYYYYY" before heading to the ring.
Wright: We've been informed that if Bucky 'Titanium' Knight can somehow get the job done tonight, Caffrey will officially sign him to FIRESIDE.
Park: He only has to last five minutes. I don’t see how he could fail at this. Well, I mean, I do see how he can fail since it is going up against the Dread Lord. I take that back. I expect him to fail hard.
Bucky Knight looks Dinosaur Bones up and down with a grin. He clearly has no ideas what he's in for.
As the bell rings to start the match, Dinosaur Bones lets out a great roar and stomps his foot with such force that the mat trembles. Bucky loses his balance and seems like he’s going to fall over when Dinosaur Bones runs at him and hits a running hip attack that sends Bucky to the mat.
As Bucky is working on getting back to his feet, Dinosaur Bones jumps up into the air, spins around, and slams down with a tail attack that sends Bucky back to the mat. He leans down to the downed Bucky and bites him with his fake mouth! Red streamers shoot out of the mouth to signify a great deal of blood loss, but it can be seen when Dinosaur Bones stands up that appears to have been a real bite as Bucky’s shoulder is bleeding.
Wright: It’s been two minutes maybe! It looks like, uh, like that that Bucky might make it!
Park: By making it as a punching bag? That’s not making it, Oliver. You don't have to shine a stomp.
Dinosaur Bones stands back, watching as Bucky slowly gets to his feet and breathes out a fireball from his mouth that catches Bucky in the eyes! He falls back to the mat, clutching at his eyes.
Wright: Is this a hardcore match? Shouldn’t the Dread Lord have been disqualified?
Park: I'm not sure there are rules to 'survive five minutes against a giant dinosaur'. This is an annihilation. Dinosaur Bones almost looks offended at this match.
Dinosaur Bones goes to the ropes as Bucky slowly gets to his feet and on the rebound, hits a bicycle kick! Dinosaur Bones hits Knight and lands on his tail. He rolls over and goes for the cover.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
Washington: Here is your winner, 'The Dread Lord' DINOSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUR BONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS!
Wright: Not even close to three minutes for Bucky. Crescent Moon Memories and a barrage of nearly-unstoppable offense.
Park: Close, but... okay, not really that close. Dinosaur Bones can run this challenge into 2022 if he looks like this every show. What a force of nature.
Wright: I almost feel bad for Bucky. The poor guy ran into a wall in the form of a giant terrifying dinosaur.
Dinosaur Bones stands with one foot on his defeated opponent, letting out a roar and a huge gout of flame from his mouth.
Wright: He's just showboating now!
Park: Why not? He’s earned it.
Dinosaur Bones heads to the back. Surprisngly, you can hear him addressing the camera with the words "real competition" as he walks up the ramp.
Wright: Dino Bones isn't happy with that level of competition, wanting a bigger challenge.
Park: I'd hate to see what he does when he gets what he's after.
Meanwhile, the referee wakes Bucky Knight and explains to him that he still doesn’t have a job with FIRESIDE. He quickly scoots Bucky out of the ring, knowing the next match is starting.
Washington: The following Tag Team Contest is scheduled for One Fall! Introducing first, from La Grange, Kentucky, and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in tonight at a combined 730 pounds, they are Piledriver Pete and Powerbomb Paul, POOOOOOOOOOWERRRRRRDRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEERRRRRR!
“Piledriver Waltz” by the Atomic Monkeys hits the speakers as the indoor Philadelphia crowd pops at the arrival of POWERDRIVER. Pete and Paul emerge from behind the curtain with a single-minded focus: getting things done in the ring. The fans react positively and they slap hands as they walk down together.
Wright: POWERDRIVER’s set for their debut tonight against two established veterans in Joe Nobody and Donny Deville, but these two have a real blossoming friendship that might give them the edge.
Park: If the friendship doesn’t help, the 700+ pounds definitely will Oliver. Trying to lift either of those two men might give you a hernia if you’re not careful. Piledriver himself is 400 pounds already.
Washington: And their opponents, at a combined weight tonight of 340 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan and Portland, Oregon, they are JOE NOBOOODYYYY AND ‘DEVILISH’ DONNY DEVILLLEEEEEE!
"Teknopathetic" by Hideki Naganuma comes over the PA system as Joe Nobody and ‘Devilish’ Donny Deville appear. Deville performs his usual cartwheel into a front flip, landing in a modern superhero pose, while Nobody just smirks and adjust his tie. Nobody hands over his fedora to a young fan and Deville moonsaults over the ropes, landing in the hero’s pose as he waits for Nobody to climb into the ring.
Wright: So here’s a team of Joe Nobody -- who was punished by Caffrey and put in this match after assaulting the still-injured Elijah Townsend, and the former world champion Donny Deville. They might be able to do some damage together.
Park: Piledriver and Powerbomb are very green, while Nobody and Deville have been around the block for a while. This could favor the vets.
Joe Nobody volunteers to start the match for his team, and after a brief discussion, Powerbomb Paul decides to start for his side. The bell rings, and the match is on between the two pairs. The technician Nobody immediately grabs Powerbomb Paul’s arm and wrings it out, stretching it out and driving an elbow into the arm of the grappler. Nobody sends Paul off the ropes and catches him on the return with a rolling arm drag, knocking the bigger man off his feet. He drags Paul over to Deville and sticks his arm out for a tag, quickly getting it as Deville wastes no movement. Nobody holds down Powerbomb, who is met with a crushing flying elbow as Deville projects himself over the ropes and into the match with authority.
Wright: Right away, these two are working well together.
Park: Did you see the height of that elbow though?
Deville mockingly slaps the back of Powerbomb Paul’s head before running off the ropes and launching into a springboard back elbow, but Paul has gotten back to his feet, and he catches Deville! The crowd begins to chant “POWER-BOMB” as they know what’s going to be coming. Powerbomb Paul swings Deville up into a reverse powerbomb position, but Deville delivers a few closed-fist punches and a hurricanrana, sending the bigger man leaning into the ropes! Deville pulls back and gets into an argument with the referee over the punches while Nobody hits a drive-by dropkick, knocking Powerbomb to the floor!
Wright: A dirty underhanded move from Joe Nobody!
Park: Hey if it helps them win the match is it really that underhanded?
Wright: Of course it is!
The referee’s count begins and then resets as ‘Devilish’ Donny Deville uses the ropes to crash down onto Powerbomb Paul on the outside! The crowd boos the arrogant former world champion as he pops back up to his feet and holds his arm stretched, yelling that he should be a champion in FIRESIDE. Joe Nobody looks to get involved again, but the presence of the ginormous four-hundred-pound Piledriver Pete keeps him at bay. Deville mouths off to Pete as well before positioning himself on the apron to jump back onto Paul. He leaps… only to be caught and powerbombed hard to the floor by Paul!! The crowd roars!
Wright: Powerbomb Paul gets into this match in a major way! What a huge powerbomb on the outside!
Park: That could easily break your neck out there! A dangerous place to be!
The referee’s count climbs up even closer to the double digits as Powerbomb Paul makes it back up to his feet and slides back into the safety of the ring. He reaches out and tags in Piledriver Pete, who stands in the ring for only a few seconds before immediately leaving the ring to grab Deville off the floor outside of the ring. Pete considers piledriving him into the floor, but out of respect for his opponent’s long-term health, sends him back into the ring.
Piledriver Pete begins to clap to get the crowd into the match as he waits for a groggy Deville to make it back to his feet. Once Deville finally does, he grabs Deville and lifts him up for his version of the Air Raid Crash, the Piledriver Deluxe, but Joe Nobody tags himself in before Pete can finish the move! Pete slams Deville down to the mat, but as he rolls Donny over for the cover, he’s met with a speeding shining wizard! Nobody covers!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Pete kicks out!
Wright: Nobody takes advantage of Pete to get the upper hand for his team!
Park: That kick could have taken Pete’s head off! What authority!
Joe Nobody complains to the referee about the slow count and then looks down, unsure of what he’s going to have to do to win and how he’s going to get the massive 400 pound man down again once he gets back up. Nobody locks in a side headlock on the big man, but as the crowd starts to cheer, he immediately breaks the hold to drive his kneecap straight into Pete’s back. Pete cringes in pain as Nobody then locks on the hold again, doing his best to shush the crowd as he works to choke the life out of his opponent.
Powerbomb Pete stands on the outside and bangs his foot into the ring steps to get the crowd to clap and will his tag team partner back into the match. This slowly starts to work as the big man gets back up to a knee first, and then all the way back to his feet. Nobody is lifted off his feet by the big left and right hands from Pete, and the hold gets broken! Nobody realizes that this isn’t looking too good for him, so he bounces off the ropes to fire off the Perfect Placement, but Pete catches the leg! It’s not a pretty ride for Joe Nobody as he goes up and goes smacking down into the mat with Piledriver Pete landing a sick Psycho Driver!
Wright: Psycho Driver from POWERDRIVER!
Park: Oh man, what an impact! Nobody might be out cold after that one! The cover and the count!
...ONE…
...TWO…
...Deville breaks the pin!
Wright: Donny keeping this match alive for his team!
Park: He might live to regret it!
Piledriver Pete doesn’t even fully get back up before Powerbomb Paul is in the ring to defend his tag team partner. Deville is clearly outnumbered by the two men as Pete helps Paul lift Deville up and the two men connect on POWERDRIVERBOMB!
Wright: Joint powerbomb from POWERDRIVER! This might be it!
Park: Not quite Oliver! Deville’s not the legal man!
Pete goes for the cover, but he quickly discovers this fact for himself. He wipes the sweat off his forehead as the referee moves to get Powerbomb Paul out of the ring, but Paul catches out of the corner of his eye Nobody taking this opportunity to low blow Pete!
Wright: Ref! Nobody just hit the lowblow!
Park: The referee never saw it!
...ONE…
...TWO…
...Pete gets a hand on the ropes!
Nobody curses as his plan goes south one more time. He responds to the disappointment by firing away with lefts and rights, taking the big man and keeping him planted as the crowd rains in boos. He eventually gets back to his feet, only to get met with a clocking blow in the back of the head from Powerbomb Paul!
Wright: Two can play at that game!
Park: Karma is a tricky bastard in that way!
Nobody turns around and gives Paul a piece of his mind, only to find he’s been corner splashed by the big ol’ Piledriver Pete running into him! An exhausted Pete tags out, and Paul looks to put Nobody away! Powerbomb Paul lifts Nobody up high in the air…
Wright: Mass Destruction!
Park: What goes up…
...but Deville delivers a dropkick to Paul’s knees, knocking the powerbomb specialist to the mat! He quickly leaves the ring before the referee can scold him, and Nobody gratefully tags him in!
Wright: Tag made!
Park: What’s about to happen?
A groggy Paul makes it back to his feet, only to be planted brutally into the mat by the Denial of Perfection from Nobody! Before Paul can figure out where he is, he finds himself with two feet pressed squarely in his sternum from Deville’s Main Attraction! Nobody plays protector as Deville makes the pin!
...ONE…
...TWO…
...THREE!
Washington: Here are your winners, the team of JOOOOE NOOOBOOOODY AND DONNNYYY DEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEE!
The former Olympian and Joe Nobody bump fists as they lock in the huge win, winning the first two-on-two tag team match in the history of FIRESIDE.
Wright: This pairing might last after all! The two veterans pulling each other’s weight tonight and getting the job done against the much larger team!
Park: Powerdriver looked great in there, but the industry-savvy vets were just too much!
The two men leave the ring together, celebrating their huge victory. But before the camera cuts, the lights in the arena go completely out. We hear some mumbling going on as if a very large man has hit the mat.
Wright: Sorry folks for the technical difficulties!
Park: Those aren’t technical difficulties! Do you recognize those two men? I can’t believe they’re here! No way!
A spotlight comes on in a dull blue and in the ring we see Piledriver Pete is out cold on the floor. Powerbomb Paul’s eyes go wide in shock. Standing before him are two masked men.
Park: The Nihilists! The former XHF Tag Team Champions are here!
Wright: They don’t look happy to see POWERDRIVER, that’s for sure!
Park: One of the best tag teams in modern XHF History is here in FIRESIDE!
Before Paul can mount an offense, one of the Nihilists plants Paul with a reverse spikerana. Paul can barely get a foot up before getting planted again with a kinshasa from the other.
Park: Null Hypothesis from Gebin! Clarity from Esmur! We haven’t seen these two since Natasha injured them!
The Nihilists stand in the center of the spotlight. They remove their masks and stand looking around the arena. The lights go black and we hear the men over the sound system.
Nihilists: EMBRACE… ETERNITY!
When the lights come back up, the two are gone.
Park: FIRESIDE’s tag team division just picked up with the acquisition of the Nihilists! POWERDRIVER isn’t quite sure what hit them!
Wright: After a brutal assault like that, I’m not sure anyone could be sure!
Washington: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall! Introducing first, from South London, England, weighing in at 210 pounds, he is “The Bastard” HAYYYYYYYYYDEEEEN CALLLLLLLLLAAHAAAAAAAN!
"Something For You" by David Rolfe begins to play through the PA System as all the lights don a golden shade as the circulate around the stage area.
DIRTY, SEXY, SLINKY THING
POWER OVER ALL WITH THE LOVE YOU BRING
SPINNING, FROM YOUR, MIND CONTROL
SHUFFLING AROUND THIS DEEP DEEP HOLE
That's when the man himself appears as he comes through the curtain, pausing at the top of the stage with a evilish smirk on his face whilst he looks out to the vast majority of fans in the building booing him. He just soaks it all in before making his way down to the ring. Hayden slides onto the ring apron and looks out to the crowd, flipping both middle fingers out to the many that boo him.
YOU ARE THE ONE
MAKES ME SCREAM AND SHOUT
I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU!
I CAN'T COMPETE
WHY YOU STILL HOLDING OUT
I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU!
Wright: Here’s the debuting Hayden Callahan, who last week drew the ire of our owner by brutalizing Bucky Knight before the first-ever FIRESIDE match!
Park: It was definitely uncalled for. But this man used to be friends with Caffrey, and he’s a dangerous competitor who knows what it takes to win. I respect that and I think he could do big things here if he focuses up.
Washington: And his opponent, they call him the ‘Shining Star’, from San Diego, California, weighing in at 159 pounds, he is MMMMMMMMMYYOOOOOOOOJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNN!
The lights dim down as the slow synth intro of Blinding Lights begins as a spotlight suddenly appears on a figure on the ramp, with his back turned and begins kneeling. Once the beat finally kicks in, MYOJIN explodes with energy- wearing a masquerade-style mask over his eyes, and turns around with a confident smile on his face, raising his arms to soak in the positive reaction from everyone around.
Ooh, Aphrodite
Ooh, I wrote your constellation into the sky
S-s-suns at night
With his blonde locks hanging over his face, he then whips his head back, flipping his hair out of his face before excitedly running down the ring before performing a cartwheel and a jump, landing on his feet near ringside!
We're out late, at 4 AM
He says, "how's the weather, baby?
How you've been?"
You're gonna get sick, you don't know when
They never doubt it at 4 AM
We're out late at 4 AM
He says, "how's the weather, baby?
How you've been?"
You're gonna get sick, you don't know when
They never doubt it at 4 AM
He climbs up to the apron, grabs a hold of the top rope, and slingshots himself into the ring. MYOJIN performs a somersault roll, landing on his side with a hand on his hip. The other, taking off his mask to reveal his piercing blue eye contacts. He tosses it aside nonchalantly before climbing up the top turnbuckle, tilting his head upward as if he’s looking toward the sky- while the lights mimic stars above. He backflips off, back onto his feet while taking off his flamboyant coat and moving to his corner. The lights go back to normal as he checks his wrist tape. His charismatic smile fading to a more focused expression as he paces back and forth, ready for action.
Wright: And here’s MYOJIN, the so-called punishment for Hayden Callahan, a former MMA specialist, a glamorous world champion all over the world at only 23, setting his sights on FIRESIDE.
Park: I am excited for this prospect, really both of ‘em, but MYOJIN is a crafty technician and a high flyer. If you haven’t seen him before, you’re in for a treat.
Wright: Both men looking to prove themselves as the bell rings!
The bell rings and the two technical wizards lock up in the center of the ring, both men looking for the advantage early but neither man quite finding it as a bout of chain wrestling breaks out. It’s a pretty-even fare as a side headlock is applied to MYOJIN, who bounces off the ropes and slams into Hayden, then jumps over Hayden as Hayden gets back to his feet, only to be stopped in his tracks as Callahan gets behind him and locks in a sleeper hold!
Wright: Callahan breaks the chain with a sleeper, trying to cut off the air supply of his opponent.
Park: Right in the center of the ring too!
Callahan grins as he lifts his opponent off his feet in the sleeper, really working to drain MYOJIN. To his credit, MYOJIN is able to land back on the mat and work at kicking Callahan, but Callahan’s a little too far back. MYOJIN instead uses his speed to get his feet moving, running up the ropes and slamming backward into Callahan, breaking the hold!
Wright: An innovative escape from MYOJIN!
Park: That’s one way to break out of a sleeper!
MYOJIN pulls himself back up and looks to change the tempo immediately, firing off kicks to the grounded Callahan that get the crowd popping at each one as you can tell they sting. He targets the legs, then Callahan’s ribcage, and follows it up with a shot to the head. He quickly covers, but Callahan gets a leg on the bottom rope almost immediately to break the hold. MYOJIN takes a few steps back to take a breath and refocus himself before moving to the apron, waiting for Callahan to make it back to his feet. When he does, he meets Callahan with a springboard dropkick, knocking him clear across the ring and to the floor!
Wright: Springboard dropkick!
Park: MYOJIN sends Callahan out of the ring faster than the Postal Service!
MYOJIN wastes no time in leaving the ring to stand near the ropes once more, this time positioning himself for something much more high-risk and dangerous. He sees Callahan beginning to get back up and grips the rope tightly, before bouncing off the top rope with a 180 Spaceman Moonsault to Callahan! CALLAHAN DELIVERS A SUPERKICK RIGHT AT THE POINT OF IMPACT!
Wright: OH WOW! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!
The crowd pops loudly at the display of ability of both men as they lay on the outside of the ring!
Park: MYOJIN went for the high-flying moonsault, but I don’t think he was expecting a kick LIKE THAT!
Wright: An absolutely brutal superkick from Callahan there, taking out his springier and speedier opponent, but that moonsault also at least clipped him!
The referee rolls outside of the ring to check on the two men’s health to make sure that they can still continue after the hellacious bump. Once he verifies that neither man has sustained a major head injury because FIRESIDE actually cares about the health and safety of its wrestlers, he begins his count. He slides back into the ring to continue the count, and it takes at least until the count of five for both men to actually begin to even stir. Both men manage to find different parts of the barricade to use to prop themselves up, and as the count climbs, MYOJIN is the first to head for the ring. Callahan dives into his legs with a cheap chopblock and then jumps back into the ring, happy to get a countout victory.
….EIGHT!
Wright: Callahan going out of his way to get one over on MYOJIN, happy to take a countout victory!
Park: A victory is still a victory, no matter how you slice it!
...NINE!
MYOJIN just manages to swing into the ropes, and immediately tackles Callahan to the ground to have him pay for his cheap shot! Callahan finds sanctuary in the ropes and MYOJIN is forced to give up the assault as he immediately stops as the referee moves to count for the ropebreak. We finally get a good view of why the referee had rolled outside of the ring to check on both men, both men have cuts near the tops of their heads, indicating that they bumped heads brutally on the landing of the moonsault. A little bit woozy, Callahan stands in and is ready for round two, and so is MYOJIN.
Callahan looks to get the upper hand again, but MYOJIN isn’t having it this time, kicking his hand away. Callahan goes for a jumping cutter right after, but MYOJIN hangs onto the ropes to keep himself from falling with Hayden. MYOJIN waits carefully for his moment, and finds it with a Question Mark Kick, taking Callahan down immediately! He wastes no time in hooking the leg!
Wright: Question Mark Kick! Callahan went down like a sack of potatoes!
Park: That may be all she wrote for the Londoner tonight!
...ONE…
...TWO…
...Callahan gets a hand on the ropes!
Wright: No!
MYOJIN stays on his opponent and tries to lock in a submission, but Callahan takes advantage of the referee’s poor positioning to gouge a thumb into the eyes of his opponent! MYOJIN peels off and grabs at his eye, leaving himself open for the Dying Light!
Wright: Dying Light from Callahan! That kick might be it!
Park: Back and forth, neither man letting up!
...ONE…
...TWO…
...MYOJIN kicks out!
Callahan wipes the blood from his face and slams down the mat in frustration, realizing he’s going to have to come at his opponent with another big move to put him down for three. He retreats into the corner to lean against the ropes and rest for a few seconds, stalking MYOJIN and waiting for his opponent to make it back up to his feet. Once MYOJIN finally does, Callahan grabs both of his hands and locks them behind him, getting ready for the Lucid Dreams!
Wright: Lucid Dreams! Callahan hits this, it’s over!
Park: MYOJIN about to go for the ride!
Before Callahan can get MYOJIN up though, MYOJIN drops to the mat and grabs his leg! With a rapid roll, he flips Callahan over onto the mat and locks him into the Orion!
Park: Is that… that’s an Imanari Roll! You don’t get out of one of those when they’re applied like that!
Wright: Callahan doesn’t have anywhere to go! That was seemingly out of nowhere!
The flamboyant MYOJIN is almost already celebrating as Callahan desperately looks around for an escape from the hold, but the ropes are nowhere to be seen! Fearing the worst for his leg and screaming out in pain, Callahan is forced to tap after MYOJIN bridges! This one’s over!
Washington: Here is your winner, the Shining Star, MYYYOOOOJJJJJJIIIIIIINNNNIN!
Wright: A hellacious, fast, and hard-hitting contest between these two men! Dr. Lagari will want to look over them both after that moonsault, but what a match!
Park: Two very good wrestlers, with MYOJIN taking home the victor-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The camera pans towards the entrance, ignoring the bloodcurling screams into the crowd. The crowd launches back into its earlier panic as The Dread Lord stomps back down to the ring, not content with having just polished off Bucky Knight earlier in the evening. The referee quickly beats it, unwilling to get in between an angry dinosaur and MYOJIN.
Wright: Dinosaur Bones made mincemeat out of Bucky and now he’s back out here!
Park: He said he wanted competition, and now he’s taking matters into his own hands!
A weary MYOJIN realizes that he’s going to have to fight back against the 7’4 320 pounder, and the dinosaur’s presence in the ring after the hard-fought, bloody contest indicates that this is not going to be an easy task. Bones gets the giant leg up, nailing MYOJIN with the Crescent Moon Memories!
Wright: MYOJIN just fought so hard and Bones almost took his damn head off!
Park: I’d love to see a fair fight between these two, but an exhausted MYOJIN has lost out to survival of the fittest!
Dinosaur Bones waits for Callahan, who is hobbling on the mat, to turn around… and swings a HUGE TAIL SWIPE, knocking Callahan down and out as well!
Wright: MYOJIN wins the battle, but he may have a war on his hands with Dinosaur Bones!
Park: Callahan might have a beef to pick with Bones too, but both men fought their hearts out and got ripped apart by the Dread Lord! Nobody may be safe from FIRESIDE’s dinosaur!
Bones lets out a giant roar as the crowd boos from their socially-distanced seats in terror at the monster!
The camera switches to the walkup to the ring. Mistress Discipline is the first to appear, looking very different as a blond. Her standard ring attire has been replaced with a reimagining of Bubbles from the Powerpuff girls with a long sleeve blue shirt with a black horizontal stripe over her middle and white short shorts but, as her normal ring attire is a long sleeve blue blouse and brown shorts, the most noticeable difference is her hair. Her dark brown locks that are usually confined to messy buns are now blond and have been shaped into two pigtails; one on either side of her head.
Mistress Discipline: Well, ladies, here we are. Have fun, but remember to follow the rules.
She glares at her manager.
Dr. Chaos is dressed in a similar outfit but in Blossom’s pink. Her normally blond hair has been dyed strawberry blond and held in a single ponytail with an absurdly large red bow.
Dr. Chaos: Don’t worry. We are very motivated to stay out of your way entirely. We’ll meet you after you’ve won and we’ve eaten our way around this fair.
She nods at the teenager beside her.
Sarah finishes the set in green. Her re-imagining of Buttercup looks the most natural because she didn’t have to change her hair as it hangs loose and straight around her.
Sarah: Finally! I'm starving!
The teen grabs Chaos’s hand and the two skip off into the pumpkin patch. Discipline watches the two of them for a moment, letting out a world-weary sigh, before continuing on her way to the ring.
The camera cuts now to Misha Constantine, who is already in the ring. He is purposefully ignoring the fans, busying himself with ensuring his costume is immaculate. From the over-the-top wig and almost disturbingly accurate rendition of his armer, the self-realized god of wrestling cuts the spitting image of Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z. He spots mistress Discipline and sneers at her, but the former librarian snubs him completely, instead choosing to take to her own corner of the ring.
Derrick Lancaster is nowhere to be seen, until there is a commotion off-screen. A silhouetted figure can be seen standing on top of one of the food stands, striking a heroic pose, only for the light to normalize and reveal Lancaster in a long-sleeved doublet styled after Superman, complete with a cape and over-the-top fake muscles. Constantine snorts back laughter, and Mistress Discipline quirks an eyebrow, almost cracking a smile. Lancaster jumps down from his makeshift podium, making his way to the ring.
With all three wrestlers finally present, Marcus Washington finally enters the ring. He smiles at the crowd, raising his microphone as the park P.A. crackles to life.
Washington: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Triple Threat Falls Count Anywhere Match here at Jack Pumpkin's Glow! It is a Kindling semi-finals match! The winner will face MAJESTY for the FIRESIDE World Championship! Introducing first, from Raleigh, North Carolina, Mistress Discipline!
'Jupiter' begins to play, and MD tips her head to the crowd, mostly maintaining her demure composure. There are some cheers and scattered applause from the small crowd.
Washington: Introducing next, from Los Angeles, California, he is the Self-Made God of Wrestling, Misha Constantine!
'In The Name of God' begins to play, and Constantine thrusts his arm up in the air. Much like Mistress Discipline, there are some cheers and applause from the small crowd. Constantine looks mostly disgusted, returning to his corner and keeping an eye on Discipline.
Washington: Finally, from Seattle, Washington, Derrick Lancaster!
Lancaster vaults over the ropes, landing in the middle of the ring on one knee and striking a pose. Before he has much of a chance to do anything else, he is blasted by a Superkick from Constantine. The referee calls for the bell, and the match is officially underway!
Lancaster looks like he's out, but before Contantine can press the attack, Mistress Discipline nails him with a bicycle kick. Constantine manages to avoid most of it, but Lancaster is left to writhe on the mat while the self-made god and the disciplinarian lock up. Madam Discipline comes in hard with driving knees into Constantine's abdomen, but Misha shrugs off the assault and responds in kind with vicious knee strikes of his own. Discipline moves to break but Constantine holds onto her pulling her back into a scorpion kick he doesn't quite get all of. Constantine moves to follow it up with a handspring moonsault-
Lancaster stops Constantine cold with a perfectly timed dropkick. He immediately rolls Constantine aside, going for a pin on the still-dazed Discipline!
ONE!!
KICKOUT!
Mistress discipline kick out with authority. Lancaster looks annoyed, but before he can do much besides curse his luck, Discipline catches his arm and pulls him back into the Naughty Child gogolplata! Lancaster struggles against the hold, trying in vain to reach the ropes. Just when it seems like the hacker is going to be forced to tap, Misha Constantine breaks the hold with a kick to Discipline's side. Lancaster scrambles away from the pair, gasping to catch his breath.
Constantine wastes no time in trying to press his advantage, attacking with a running shooting star press on the prone Discipline, who gets her knees up at the last moment. Mistress kips up to her feet, sneering down at Constantine, who is trying to catch his own breath after knocking the wind out of himself. She grabs Constantine around the waist, letting out a shout of effort as she hauls him up off the ground and into piledriver position, dropping the self-realized god on the point of his head. Rather than go for a pin, she hauls him up off the the mat, setting up for the Expulsion!
Before she can get Constantine in position, Lancaster strikes, wiping out the disciplinarian with a roundhouse kick. He pulls Mistress back to her feet, whipping her into the ropes and hitting a spinning backfist. He hauls up Constantine yet, whipping the other man into the ropes and following up with a dropkick. The crowd is starting to get behind Lancaster. He whips constantine into one corner, then hauls Mistress up and whipping her into the opposite corner. He grins at the camera, tapping his forehead, before launching at Discipline and hitting her with the Brute Force double knee!
He launches himself at Constantine in the other corner, hitting the other man with another jumping double knee! he launches at Discipline again, only for the librarian to drop and roll out of the ring, leaving Lancaster to slam into the corner. Discipline takes the opportunity to try and catch her breath, but she doesn't notice Constantine is back on his feet. Constantine circles around the ring in the opposite direction, using the ring steps to launch himself through the air and catch Mistress Discipline off-guard into a hurricanrana into a pin attempt!
ONE!!!!!
TWO!!!!!!
KICKOUT!!!
Mistress manages to get her shoulder up after a two count and makes some space between her and Misha, but Constantine will have none of it. He dives at Mistress, trying to hit the former teacher with an Au Batido kick that Mistress avoids, reversing it into a modified capture suplex into a bridging pin!
ONE!!!!!
TWO!!!!!!
TH- LANCASTER BREAKS THE PIN!!!!
Discipline looks furious, her ire focused entirely on Derrick Lancaster. Lancaster, for his part, taunts the disciplinarian to follow him. Constantine takes the opportunity to shove Discipline into the ring post before he chases afte Lancaster. It seems the hacker anticipated this course of action, because when Constantine attempts a dropkick off the ropes, Lancaster catches him and reverses the move into a spinebuster on the bare ground. He bends over to pick up Constantine, who throws a handful of gravel into Lancaster's face. Lancaster yelps, covering his eyes, and the somewhat-dazed Constantine picks up the first thing he can grab, which happens to be a roughly basketball-sized jackolantern. He smashes the pumpkin into Lancaster's face, a wide smile appeaing on the would-be god's face.
Constantine spots another large pumpkin, which he picks up, holding it out in front of him as if he is sizing the pumpkin up. Hepulls up Lancaster, leaning him up against a railing and making him hold the pumpkin. Constantine climbs on the railing on the opposite side of the makeshift pathway and launches himelf into the air!
CHASE THE DEVIL STRIKES TRUE!!!!
You can alsmost see the moment Lancaster's soul leaves his body, and it seems the match is destined to go Constantine's way. Misha has a wide, cruel grin on his face as he stands over Lancaster, planting a foot in the center of Derrick's chest!
ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
Out of nowhere, Mistress Discipline blasts Constantine with a running Big Boot! Before he can gather his thoughts, Discipline follows up with a bicycle kick, and Constantine looks for some way to get away from the disciplinarian's assault. He tries to mount some offence, but Discipline stops him cold with a kick to the gut. She goes for the sitout powerbomb, but Constantine manages to wriggle free, dashing for the tallest thing he can see...
The camera pans in on the carousel, lit by an almost etherial light.
Constantine stumbles his way toward the amusement rides, clearly with the intention to get as high as possible. He reaches the merry-go round, using the horses and the poles to get up to the top. Discipline tries to grab him, but he manages to evade her grasp, finally getting some breathing room when he gets on top of the spinning wheel. He taunts Mistress Discipline from atop his perch, inviting her to join him. The former teacher refuses to, shouting at Constantine to come down.
Mistress Discipline: Come down, you fool! You will fall and crack your skull open!
Constantine flips off the disciplinarian, then teases a leap off the top of the carousel, only to stop short and back off, smirking down at his opponent. Suddenly he launches at the edge to leap off,but just before he reaches the edge the carousel starts to move. Constantine misjudges his jump and lands flat on the bare ground. Lancaster laughs at the other man, looking satisfied with himself until he gets tackled into a railing by Mistress Discipline. The mistress sneers, trying to pick up Lancaster, but he shoves her backward, grabbing her wrist and flinging her into a railing. He presses the attack, picking the woman up onto his shoulder and running her bodily into the railing again.
He looks at the fallen constantine, who is still trying to to regain his composure after hitting the ground and knocking the wind out of himself, and then he spots a nearby portapotty. Lancaster grins, pulling MD back to her feet and swinging her around to whip her into the portajohn, pulling what looks like a metal bolt out of his pocket and jamming it into the shackle on the door to lock the portable toilet. Then, to add insult to injury, Lancaster wedges himself between a pole and the outhouse, using his leggs to tip the portapotty forward onto its door and truly trapping the mistress of discipline within.
Lancaster looks satisfied with himself, deciding that now he has the opportunity he needs to finish off Constantine, who is finally up on his knees but looking the worse for wear. Lancaster is quick to capitalize, trying to set-up the Tor, but Constantine manages to block the move, reversing it into a backdrop, which he is quick to follow with a standing moonsault. Lancaster pushes Misha away before he can capitalize for a pin, scrambling to his feet just in time to eat a DietyDT out of nowhere! Lancaster is out, Mistress Discipline is screetching and trying to escape from her makeshift prison. Scrambles up to the top of the carousel again before leaping off and striking true with IRIE DEI!!!
Constantine goes for the cover!
ONE!!!!!
TWO!!!!!
THREE!!!!
The referee calls for the bell, and Constantine rises to his feet. He stands over Lancaster, posing over the fallen man while the park staff try to help Mistress Discipline. The last thing we see is Constantine smiling, knowing he has a date with destiny: a match with MAJESTY to become the first FIRESIDE World Champion.