Post by The Colossus on Nov 5, 2020 11:31:37 GMT -5
Have you ever seen a man in wrestling trunks, boots, and a Leather Vest in public, by which I mean, not in the participatory venue of wrestling? Because that is the attire The Mountain has chosen to wear to a Starbucks. Angus Skaaland, who has been appointed his "manager" much in the same way you can manage a lion, or someone has the real-life job of managing the tides. Angus for his part looks both exasperated, non-plussed, and deeply deeply disappointed in one fell swoop.
With them, because Angus has realized that maybe Scott Steel isn’t going to be great at the press conference related items after bodily removing the NPW podium and a table of audio gear from existence. So he figured having a dedicated trainee(yes, the same one as previous) carry around a GoPro would be the best way to capture editable footage to turn into promotional packages.
Naturally, this meant that Angus told Scott he was going to just be “on-camera” in a literal way from now on. The Mountain took this to mean he was always going to be ready to wrestle, and here we are.
“Yeah, I’ll have a big coffee, black.”
“Venti Black Coffee, what’s your name?”
“Angus.”
Skaaland knew his cup would say Anus on it. Scott squinted at the menu as though he were trying to decipher cuniform in real-time. Angus was standing with him, to pay for his coffee, because he didn’t really want to see Scott root around in his wrestling trunks for a wallet.
Several awkward seconds passed as the Barista, who was no-selling a seven-foot man in wrestling attire standing in front of him looking perplexed.
“Scott.”
Angus is reasonably restrained, but Scott is trawling the cosmos, seeing things on a Starbucks menu, you nor I will ever see. Not even if we drop acid and hang out in Vegas.
“Scott.”
With some added emphasis. Scott acknowledges Angus with the veins in the area where his head meets his shoulders becoming suddenly tense. Angus grabs his coffee, pleasantly surprised his cup says Agoose.
“Scott, there are no protein shakes on the Starbucks menu.”
Scott’s eyes go all Ren and Stimpy. “Neck veins” start to pulse in his neck, Angus and his in tow cameraman have a sense of what is about to happen start moving away. The flutter of birds. The eerie moment of silence portends what is about to come next. The barista in question on a cellular level knows it’s about to all go wrong and dives out of the way as The Mountain hoists the entire bakery cabinet over his head and sends it crashin...
No. He powerbombs it directly into the espresso machine, as little bits of donut and that weird egg wrap pastry thing go flying with coffee beans giving way like the earth in a Vietnam war movie explosion. Water begins spraying as though a fire hydrant had been opened on a hot summer day.
Angus somehow looks shocked. His jaw is in the basement. Somehow that one kid who spends all day in Starbucks using the wifi has something else to do. The fire alarm has gone off for some reason. Steel looks slightly more collected.
Without speaking, the three of them move towards the door. Angus trying to casually sip his coffee. Steel with no idea that anything wrong has happened here. And the camera guy doing his best to make it seem like filming this indicates it was a planned stunt. As Angus slowly guides them to an ally, sweat runs down the Mountain’s forehead, and the veins begin to bulge again.
“EVERYBODYSTOPIGOTSOMETHINGTOSAY”
Angus’ eyebrows shoot skyward. He tries not to shake his, thinks it over and realizes Steel won’t notice and does so in disappointment.
“Scott, the entire point of running down an alley was to get away from.. Well. That.”
Scott is probably not paying attention.
“YOUTHINKLASTWEEKWASAJOKEAMISTAKEUNPLANNEDHOOTENANY?!IGOTTWOWORDSFORYOUYOUAREIDIOTS!”
The distant blare of sirens makes itself known.
“ANIDONTKNOWHOYOUTHINKYOUAREALEXTURNERBUTNOONESCAPESTHEMOUNTAINALIVEWEREGONNAGOINTOTHEDEEPESTREACHESTOFSPACEANDOBATTLEATOPTHEBACKOFTHEGREATSANDWORMSOFJUPITERTHENTIREUNIVERSEISGONNARISETOTHETOP”
Angus shrugs at the looks of their concerned GoPro holder.
“THEREISNOSECONDCHANCEONLYTHEFIRSTCHANCETOBOWTODANEKINGOFTHECOSMOSANDNORTHERNPOTATOWRESTLING”
Letting out what is probably a laugh, but would also qualify as raw mammalian rage. Steel stared not at the camera that was following him around but at the wall. Away from everyone.
“IFYOUTHINKFORONEWHOLEENTIRESECONDOFTIMETHATIAMGONNALETYOUDECALFALLCREAMFOAMLATTEPUMPKINSPICEWHATEVERYOURCALLITSDICTATETHEFUTUREOFTHEDOUBLECROWNYOUGOTANOTHERTHINGCOMING….”
“That boy ain’t right.”
Angus had a choice to make, abandon Scott while he railed in a towering natural(allegedly) rage. At I guess the wall of an ally way? Or does he try and figure out how to buy Scott some time before the police come and identify the 7-foot hulking Lummox as a wrestler they probably saw on television last week?
Though as Angus mused while Scott’s volume and coherence continued in their inverse relationship, that he had more or less destroyed a great deal of NPW property and nothing had come of it.
No. No, Angus finally came to the conclusion NPW knew what they had signed. In broad strokes.
Scott had calmed at some point and started striding down the alley. Angus looked at the camera and motioned for it to cut out.
With them, because Angus has realized that maybe Scott Steel isn’t going to be great at the press conference related items after bodily removing the NPW podium and a table of audio gear from existence. So he figured having a dedicated trainee(yes, the same one as previous) carry around a GoPro would be the best way to capture editable footage to turn into promotional packages.
Naturally, this meant that Angus told Scott he was going to just be “on-camera” in a literal way from now on. The Mountain took this to mean he was always going to be ready to wrestle, and here we are.
“Yeah, I’ll have a big coffee, black.”
“Venti Black Coffee, what’s your name?”
“Angus.”
Skaaland knew his cup would say Anus on it. Scott squinted at the menu as though he were trying to decipher cuniform in real-time. Angus was standing with him, to pay for his coffee, because he didn’t really want to see Scott root around in his wrestling trunks for a wallet.
Several awkward seconds passed as the Barista, who was no-selling a seven-foot man in wrestling attire standing in front of him looking perplexed.
“Scott.”
Angus is reasonably restrained, but Scott is trawling the cosmos, seeing things on a Starbucks menu, you nor I will ever see. Not even if we drop acid and hang out in Vegas.
“Scott.”
With some added emphasis. Scott acknowledges Angus with the veins in the area where his head meets his shoulders becoming suddenly tense. Angus grabs his coffee, pleasantly surprised his cup says Agoose.
“Scott, there are no protein shakes on the Starbucks menu.”
Scott’s eyes go all Ren and Stimpy. “Neck veins” start to pulse in his neck, Angus and his in tow cameraman have a sense of what is about to happen start moving away. The flutter of birds. The eerie moment of silence portends what is about to come next. The barista in question on a cellular level knows it’s about to all go wrong and dives out of the way as The Mountain hoists the entire bakery cabinet over his head and sends it crashin...
No. He powerbombs it directly into the espresso machine, as little bits of donut and that weird egg wrap pastry thing go flying with coffee beans giving way like the earth in a Vietnam war movie explosion. Water begins spraying as though a fire hydrant had been opened on a hot summer day.
Angus somehow looks shocked. His jaw is in the basement. Somehow that one kid who spends all day in Starbucks using the wifi has something else to do. The fire alarm has gone off for some reason. Steel looks slightly more collected.
Without speaking, the three of them move towards the door. Angus trying to casually sip his coffee. Steel with no idea that anything wrong has happened here. And the camera guy doing his best to make it seem like filming this indicates it was a planned stunt. As Angus slowly guides them to an ally, sweat runs down the Mountain’s forehead, and the veins begin to bulge again.
“EVERYBODYSTOPIGOTSOMETHINGTOSAY”
Angus’ eyebrows shoot skyward. He tries not to shake his, thinks it over and realizes Steel won’t notice and does so in disappointment.
“Scott, the entire point of running down an alley was to get away from.. Well. That.”
Scott is probably not paying attention.
“YOUTHINKLASTWEEKWASAJOKEAMISTAKEUNPLANNEDHOOTENANY?!IGOTTWOWORDSFORYOUYOUAREIDIOTS!”
The distant blare of sirens makes itself known.
“ANIDONTKNOWHOYOUTHINKYOUAREALEXTURNERBUTNOONESCAPESTHEMOUNTAINALIVEWEREGONNAGOINTOTHEDEEPESTREACHESTOFSPACEANDOBATTLEATOPTHEBACKOFTHEGREATSANDWORMSOFJUPITERTHENTIREUNIVERSEISGONNARISETOTHETOP”
Angus shrugs at the looks of their concerned GoPro holder.
“THEREISNOSECONDCHANCEONLYTHEFIRSTCHANCETOBOWTODANEKINGOFTHECOSMOSANDNORTHERNPOTATOWRESTLING”
Letting out what is probably a laugh, but would also qualify as raw mammalian rage. Steel stared not at the camera that was following him around but at the wall. Away from everyone.
“IFYOUTHINKFORONEWHOLEENTIRESECONDOFTIMETHATIAMGONNALETYOUDECALFALLCREAMFOAMLATTEPUMPKINSPICEWHATEVERYOURCALLITSDICTATETHEFUTUREOFTHEDOUBLECROWNYOUGOTANOTHERTHINGCOMING….”
“That boy ain’t right.”
Angus had a choice to make, abandon Scott while he railed in a towering natural(allegedly) rage. At I guess the wall of an ally way? Or does he try and figure out how to buy Scott some time before the police come and identify the 7-foot hulking Lummox as a wrestler they probably saw on television last week?
Though as Angus mused while Scott’s volume and coherence continued in their inverse relationship, that he had more or less destroyed a great deal of NPW property and nothing had come of it.
No. No, Angus finally came to the conclusion NPW knew what they had signed. In broad strokes.
Scott had calmed at some point and started striding down the alley. Angus looked at the camera and motioned for it to cut out.