CLIMAX ~ VVV vs I-Man 7/22/18 *Towel Match
Nov 16, 2020 16:26:21 GMT -5
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Post by radu on Nov 16, 2020 16:26:21 GMT -5
SWAT Europe
International Incident
July 22n, 2018
Towel Match
Vile "Vince" Viper (w/Spike Nelson)
vs
"The Industrial Man" Attila Balan (w/"Beelzebozo" Buster Friendly)
vs
"The Industrial Man" Attila Balan (w/"Beelzebozo" Buster Friendly)
Warren Webber : It is time for our main event! The rivalry between Vile Vince Viper and The Industrial Man Attila Balan has reached its breaking point.
Melvyn : This is the big one. These two hate each other so much, they are going to do battle in one of the most brutal of all matches, the only way to win here is to have your opponents second throw in the towel!
Warren Webber : Lets get to the introductions of the seconds.
The lights go out and the opening fanfare of "Entrance of the Gladiators" by Julis Fucik starts to play. After the introduction, before the famous melody can begin, there is the sound of a record scratching, then the maniacal laughter that only an evil clown can produce fills the air. The laughter ends abruptly and there is a second of awkward, uncomfortable silence before "Halloween (Celldweller remix) cuts through the quiet.
Red lights illuminate the entranceway and there are noticeable fumbling motions behind the curtain before Beelzebozo finally emerges from the back.
His ill-fitting suit looking like he slept in it the last three days, porkpie hat perched precariously on top of his shock of red hair, and lit cigar in his mouth, the Clown From Hell stumbles down the aisle, cursing at women, spitting at men, and threatening to backhand little kids that try to touch him.
His ever present Sack slung over one hunched shoulder, the bag of mischief bulging from the vile treasures within, Beelzebozo shambles down to the ring.
Frank Salazar : Coming to the ring first, BEELZEBOZO!!!
*BOOS*
Warren Webber : Beelzebozo in the ring, and he is looking especially drunk tonight.
Melvyn : That is quite the accomplishment, since his liver looks like a raisin at this point.
The opening of Dare to Be Stupid by Weird Al Yankovic starts as the lights go out. A single spotlight hits the entrance, where a midget rolls out a cannon. He pulls a cord, and Spike Nelson goes hurtling out of the cannon, flying through the air and then doing a perfect front somersault on the entrance ramp. He runs down the rest of the way and slides into the ring, where he begins breakdancing .badly. Spike then jumps up to the top turnbuckle, does a backflip, then strikes a pose.
Frank Salazar: And introducing .. SIMPLY AMAZING SPIKE NELSON!!!
*BIG POP!*
Warren Webber : Poor Spike. He is just so innocent. He is going to see some serious brutality here tonight.
Melvyn : Please. This guy is Vile Vince Vipers grandson. He has probably seen things that would age you a hundred years.
The house lights cut out leaving the arena in darkness as "Strict Machine" by Goldfrapp starts to pump over the PA System. Yellow sparks blast down on the entranceway giving the audience of a flash of Attila Balan. As the embers burn out all that remains is the audiences approval and the hundred tiny glowing lights attached to the Industrial Man's leather jacket. These lights reflect in his ray ban shades giving him an otherworldly appearance in the dark. Balan marches down the aisle at a methodical pace, in sync with the music. Entering the ring, Industrial Man throws off his jacket for another round of yellow pyro, before the lights come back on.
Frank Salazar : In the ring at this time, from Industy, Texas, he is THE INDUSTRIAL MAN ATTILA BALAN!!!
*MIXED REACTION*
Warren Webber : Balan is usually super popular, but this crowd seems split.
Melvyn : We are in Russia, where things are pretty weird at times.
What a Wonderful World by Joey Ramone blasts over the PA, and the greatest wrestler of all time, Vile Vince Viper, makes his way to the ring, showered by a deafening roar of cheers!
*MASSIVE MEGA FACE POP!*
Warren Webber : Vile Vince Viper, the most disgusting, violent, horrid human being I have ever met, is being given a heroes welcome!
Melvyn : We are in Russia. He is a God here!
[Viper and Balan go to their respective corners, but before the referee can signal for the bell, Spike Nelson grabs a microphone and walks to the center of the ring.]
Spike: I know everybody is here for this match, and we are going to get to that, but before we do, I have some unfinished business with Beelzebozo.
[Spike points to Beelzebozo as the crowd roars.]
Spike: Buster, get your ass over here!
[Beelzebozo stumbles to the middle of the ring, mic in hand.]
Beelzebozo: Spike, you already stabbed me in the back, and believe me, our day will come. But I didnt come here for a fight with you. I am here to support the only friend I ever had, Attila Balan.
Spike: You misunderstand me. Im not here to fight you physically. Im here to put you in your place in another way.
Beelzebozo: Are you saying what I think youre saying?
[Spike and Beelze stare at each other for a second. Each looks down at his mic, then back up at each other.]
Spike and Beelzebozo Together: RAP BATTLE!!!
*MASSIVE POP!*
Warren Webber : Looks like we will have a little impromptu verbal warfare here!
Melvyn : Can either of these guys actually rap?
Warren Webber : Probably not.
Melvyn : Oh God.
[Spike and Beelzebozo each circle the ring, trying to hype the crowd up. They stop and stare at each other, mics at the ready. Spike points at Beelze, and suddenly a phat beat blares over the PA system.]
Spike: Yeah, you may have been the champ, but you beat Psychotic Goth/His claim to fame's not wrestling, it's blacksmithing in a loincloth/You got a lot of balls to try to battle me/I'm the genuine article, you're just a bootleg VVV.
Beelzebozo: you are white trash from Jersey, the opposite of classy/I'll kick your ass so bad you'll go back to Degrassi/Eat your Mr. T cereal, it won't make you a thriller/You're a cereal eater, I'm a serial killer.
Spike: Wow, an evil clown, what an original idea/You're so diseased, your half man, half gonorriah/You're such a sad drunk, your liver's beyond wrecked/Don't step up to me clown, cuz I'm Better Than Sex
Beelzebozo: Spike you're so childish, acting like a kindergartner/The only cool thing about you is your tag team partner/You do lots of flips in the ring and talk about cartoons/Your mom is blowing me like I blow up balloons
Spike: You were the face of ACW and they died a sad death/The only girls you bang are all addicted to meth/You drink and pop pills, you dont have the balls to off yourself/When Im done slapping you, youll be put on the shelf/You better get ready to toss in the towel/you smell like cheap whiskey, a reek thats most foul/your bodily functions are failing, soon youll be in a diaper/I just murdered you so bad, its like you were Balan and I was Vile Vince Viper!
Beelzebozo: Spike's the junior partner in his tag team, Vile's the only reason he gets paid/like Joe Pesci in 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, getting upstaged by David Spade/Your partner is a snake, but I'm the one spitting out venom, your references couldn't be more dated if your jacket was denim/You may be from Jersey but you ain't the Boss, if BTS is so great, why is Marcus your last loss?/when you turned your back on me, it was like tightening the noose/I will put you six feet under, Anonymoose/You keep cracking jokes, and say your lame rhymes/When I'm done, you'll be deader than Optimus Prime!
[Hearing the leader of the Autobots get insulted, Spike leaps across the ring and takes a swing at Beelzebozo. Bozo pushes him back, and the ref gets between them.]
Warren Webber : Spike heard all he can stand and he cant stands no more!
Melvyn : Nobody insults Optimus Prime while Spike Nelson is around!
[The referee restores order, both teams going to their corners. Beelzebozo reaches into his sack and pulls out a stained white towel. Vile pulls a towel out of somewhere, and does something to it that the camera cant pick up before handing it to Spike.]
Warren Webber : What is Vile doing?
Melvyn : I have no idea, but I think we will find out soon enough.
[Beelzebozo and Spike leave the ring, leaving Attila Balan and VVV alone in the ring.]
***DING DING DING***
Warren Webber : Bell sounds and we are underway!
Melvyn : Attila Balan vs Vile Vince Viper, who can make their opponents second throw in the towel?
[The two rivals waste no time, meeting in the center of the ring and exchanging stiff forearm shots to each others faces. Neither man is giving an inch, and the crowd is on fire as this display of Strong Style stiffness just goes on and on.]
Warren Webber : These two men are not playing around!
Melvyn : Those are some of the stiffest shots I have ever seen! Neither man giving an inch!
[The forearm flurries continue, until Balan starts to get the better of the exchange. He backs Viper up with a series of increasingly hard hitting forearms blows to the head, until the King of Snakes is backed up to the ropes. Balan reals back and hits a knife edge chop so loud it echoes throughout the entire arena.]
Warren Webber : Industrial man seeming to get the better of this initial exchange.
Melvyn : Im shocked to see this! Viper is being out brawled!
[Balan goes for a huge right hand, but Viper ducks the blow. Grabbing his opponent around the waist, Vile tosses him over his head with a snap German suplex. Balan crashes down hard, holding the back of his head as Vile stands over him, smirking like the son of a bitch that he is.]
Warren Webber : Viper just scrambled the circuits of the Industrial Man with that suplex.
Melvyn : He landed right on the back of his head. That may have knocked him silly. Well, sillier.
[Viper straddles his opponent and grabs the back of his head with his left hand, using his right to rain down a series of stiff punches to the face. Getting more vicious, Vile switches to elbow smashes, the point of his elbow crashing into the forehead of the prone I-Man.]
Warren Webber : Brutality!
Melvyn : Is Beelzebozo going to stop it? It already looks like Balan cant defend himself!
[Beelzebozo looks on as his partner gets brutalized by the Villain of SWAT. He looks down at the towel, but doesnt motion that he is going to throw it in. Meanwhile, Viper adjusts his position and slaps on a short arm scissors.]
Warren Webber : Vile changing tactics here. If he cant beat Balan so bad that Beelzebozo will throw in the towel, he may be looking to start breaking bones.
Melvyn : Is this guy even made of flesh and blood? He may have a steel skeleton like the Terminator.
[Viper wrenches on the arm, and Balan yells in pain as his joints ache under the strain. At ringside, Spike is taunting Beelze, daring the clown to toss in the towel. Beelze just flips Spike off and pounds on the mat, cheering his partner on. Balan struggles against the hold, eventually getting a foot on the bottom rope.]
Warren Webber : Attila Balan gets his boot draped over the bottom rope!
Melvyn : So what? Viper doesnt have to break the hold. He cant be DQed!
Warren Webber : Oh wow, youre right!
Melvyn : Im always right.
[Realizing he has made a computational error in his strategy, Balan changes gears. He uses the ropes for leverage to get to a standing base, while Viper refuses to let go of the hold. Unable to break his arm free of the scissors, Balan reaches down with his free hand, and using his considerable power, lifts Viper up off of the mat, raising him up and powerbombing him to the mat!]
Warren Webber : Balan with a thunderous powerbomb!
Melvyn : That has forced Viper to release the hold!
[Viper, dazed after the impact, lets go of the submission hold, laying prone on the mat. Attila scans his arm for structural damage, coming to the conclusion that there is no permanent damage. Satisfied that he is in condition to continue, Balan takes hold of the King of Snakes, raising him to his feet and lifting him up on his shoulders. Industrial man then runs forward, dropping Viper face first on the turnbuckle.]
Warren Webber : Snake Eyes to Viper!
Melvyn : I heard Balan downloaded a new irony update to his operating system.
[Knocked silly by the impact, Viper staggers around, only to be met by a running forearm by Balan. The force of the blow knocks Vile over the top rope, where he barely manages to land on the apron. Charging forward, Attila hits a high knee to the face, knocking Viper off the apron and sending him crashing down against the barricade.]
Warren Webber : This fight is spilling to the outside!
Melvyn : And these two are crazy enough to do almost anything out there!
[Reaching into one of his secret compartments, Balan pulls out a can of motor oil. Breaking it open, he pours the oil all over himself, getting slick and ready for a slide out of the ring. As he hits the ropes, a dazed Viper reaches into his tights and pulls something out, but the camera cant catch it.]
Warren Webber : What is Viper doing now?
Melvyn : Hes about to get crushed!
[Balan rebounds off of the ropes and dives face first, sliding out of the ring towards Viper. Vile throws some chemicals out of his hands, which interact and explode in a fireball, setting the oil covered Industrial man ablaze!]
***FIRE POP!!!***
Warren Webber : OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! HES ON FIRE! ATTILA BALAN IS ON FIRE!
Melvyn : SOMEBODY STOP THIS! HE IS LIT UP LIKE THE HUMAN TORCH!
[Beelzebozo races over to try to put out the flames engulfing his friend, but Spike runs over and intercepts him with a superkick! Beelze drops to the mat and Balan rolls around, trying to put the fire out. EMTs race to the ringside area, fire extinguishers in hands, and douse the Industrial man with foam.]
Warren Webber : Thank God for the quick action of our emergency medical team!
Melvyn : Beelze has to throw the towel in now!
Warren Webber : He might, but he just got knocked silly by a superkick he didnt see coming!
[Viper punches the nearest EMT and grabs the fire extinguisher from him. Stalking his smouldering prey, Vile lifts the extinguisher over his head and brings it crashing down onto Balan, repeatedly bludgeoning the former international Champion with vicious shots.]
Melvyn : This is just barbaric. He has smoke coming off of him as Viper is beating him senseless.
Warren Webber : Somebody needs to stop this, and they need to stop it now. Beelzebozo, if you have any decency at all, throw in the damn towel!
[Beelzebozo gets back up, shaking off the cobwebs from the superkick. He sees his only friend being brutalized by his mortal enemy, and looks down at the towel. Raising it up, he is getting ready to toss it into the ring, as the crowd urges him on.]
Melvyn : Do it! Throw it in! Viper is just continuing to beat Balan with the extinguisher!
Warren Webber : The Industrial man seems helpless!
[Balan looks up and sees Beelzebozo about to throw the towel in, and makes eye contact with his partner in Funny Business. Balan shakes his head now, demanding that Beelzebozo not throw the towel in. The Clown Prince of Chaos motions like he is going to toss it in as Viper dares him to throw it, but Beelze puts his hand back down.]
Melvyn : Beelzebozo isnt doing it.
Warren Webber : Balan pleading with his partner to let this match continue.
[Viper stops pounding on Balan long enough to taunt Buster. Tossing the extinguisher to the side, Viper lifts Balans head in his hand. Vile points at Buster, then punches Balan in the back of the head. Appearing to go totally limp, Balan lays on the ground, lifeless.]
Melvyn : I think Viper just knocked him out cold.
Warren Webber : He could be doing permanent damage here.
[The Scarlet Serpent takes the prone body of the Industrial Man and drags him over the ring steps. Laying his opponents head on the steel steps, Viper motions for Spike to come over and help him. Reaching under the ring, Viper grabs a bottle and some athletic tape, and he and Spike begin taping the glass bottle to his knee.]
Melvyn : What is this now?
Warren Webber : Nothing good, Im sure.
[Standing with his back to Balan, Viper mocks Buster, then flips backwards, attempting to use his bottle wielding knee to drive the glass into Balans face with a knee strike.]
Melvyn : CRESCENT MOON KILLER WITH A GLASS BOTTLE ON THE STAIRS!
Warren Webber : BUT BALAN OUT OF THE WAY!!!
[The Industrial man rolls out of the way at the last second, and Vipers knee hits the steps, the bottle shattering on impact! Viper howls in pain, and rolls around the ringside area, clutching his knee in obvious agony.]
Melvyn : Vile went for broke and it backfired!
Warren Webber : There is glass everywhere!
[Viper gets to a seated position, leaning back against the stairs and clutching his knee. Balan, struggling to his feet, pulls out another bottle of motor oil. Pouring the life giving oil all over himself, Balan rolls around on the mat, the shards of glass sticking to him! He then backs up and runs full speed ahead, sliding across the floor and slamming his glass covered body into Viper!]
Melvyn : I can not even describe what I just saw!
Warren Webber : Attila Balan will stop at nothing to take out Viper!
[Both men lay on the ground, not moving. Beelzebozo and Spike run over to check on their respective partners, both men urging their tag team partners to get up and fight.]
Melvyn : We may have a draw here. I dont know if either man can continue.
Warren Webber : That isnt going to happen. This is a main event match, and we must have a winner!
[The crowd going insane and urging them on, Balan and Viper start to rise to their feet. The two men lock eyes and Balan takes a huge swing, but Vipers leg gives out and he crashes to the floor. Sensing an opportunity, Balan throws Viper back into the ring. The king of Snakes unable to stand at the moment, Balan grabs a hold of his leg and locks on an Indian Death lock.]
Melvyn : Vipers leg is hurting and Balan smells blood!
Warren Webber : The Industrial man looking to tear that injured leg apart!
[The painful hold locked in, Viper yells out. Balan keeps wrenching on the leg, digging in deep. Desperate for any way to stop the hold, Viper grabs towards Balan, pulling a shard of glass off of his body, and jabbing it into Balans face!]
Melvyn : OH MY GOD! VIPER JUST STABBED BALAN IN THE FACE WITH A SHARD OF GLASS!
Warren Webber : THERE IS NOTHING THIS MONSTER WONT DO!
[Balan immediately releases the hold and shrieks! Getting to his feet, the camera sees that Balan has a shard of glass sticking out of his eye!]
Melvyn : HE GOT HIM RIGHT IN THE EYE!!!
Warren Webber : *VOMIT SOUNDS*
[Beelzebozo jumps up on the apron, towel in hand. He raises his arm to throw it in, but Balan holds up his hand to stop him. Before Buster can throw the towel in, Balan yanks the glass out of his eye and throws it at Buster!]
Melvyn : This is the greatest display of guts I have ever seen! Attila Balan has probably been stricken half blind, but he refuses to give up!
Warren Webber : *DRY HEAVING*
[Balan, his face covered in blood, shakes his head no, and Buster looks down at the towel. Balan goes over to Buster, telling him he is good to continue. Buster motions again like he is going to throw the towel in, but Balan begs him not to. Meanwhile, Viper struggles to get to his feet, his leg clearly bothering him.]
Melvyn : Viper is up! Balan can somehow still fight, and Vile Vince Viper is up!
Warren Webber : Oh God. I cant stop vomiting.
[Viper sees Balan and Buster arguing and charges at his opponent. Buster notices VVV coming at them, and shoves Balan out of the way. Viper crashes into Buster, and Beelzebozo falls to the mat. Viper, momentarily dazed by hitting the wrong guy, turns around into the waiting arms of Balan, who tosses him over his head with a release belly to belly suplex.]
Melvyn : How are either of these guys both fighting!?!
Warren Webber : Balan has been set on fire, covered in broken glass, and stabbed in the eye, yet he is still going!
[Viper crashes down and Balan grabs a hold of him again, executing a perfect Dragon Screw leg Whip. Viper howls as his injured knee is wrenched again, and drops to the mat. Balan takes a hold of Viles leg, and drops an elbow on it, getting up and doing it again and again, a series of elbows to the knee leaving Viper looking like he is ready to pass out from the pain. Raising for a final time, Balan spins around and slaps on a figure four leglock.]
Melvyn : Figure Four to the destroyed knee of Vile!
Warren Webber : Spike looks like he is going to throw in the towel!
[Flailing around on the mat, Viper is thrashing around, trying to free himself. Balan holds on tight, wrenching as hard as he can, trying to totally destroy the leg of the Sultan of SWAT. Spike jumps up on the apron, towel in hand.]
Melvyn : hes going to do it! Spike is going to throw in the towel!
Warren Webber : He wants to save his grandfather from becoming a cripple!
[Spike takes the towel and motions to throw it in . But the towel doesnt leave his hand. Looking confused, Spike tries again .but he cant throw it. Over and over, Spike tries to throw the towel into the ring, but cant seem to let go of it.]
Melvyn : THAT DEVIOUS BASTARD!
Warren Webber : Now we know what Viper did earlier! He superglued the towel to Spikes hand! He cant throw it in!
[Balan, confused by whats going on, releases the hold. He goes over to Spike, who just shrugs his shoulders in defeat. Balan rears back and punches Spike, and the grandson of Snakes falls off the apron to the floor. Turning back around, Balan reaches down to grab Vile again but VVV reaches into his tights and throws salt into Balans face. The Industrial Man falls to the floor in a heap, screaming.]
Melvyn : OH MY GOD! SALT INTO THE EYES!
Warren Webber : As if salt in the eyes isnt bad enough, he just threw salt into an eye that has been STABBED WITH GLASS! That has to be torture!
[Beelzebozo jumps up on the apron again, towel at the ready. Viper sneers at him and rolls out of the ring. Rummaging under the ring, Viper finds what he is looking for and slides back in like the snake he is.]
Melvyn : What does he have? What weapon did he find?
Warren Webber : I have no idea. What more can he do?
[Viper has a box in his hand and pulls something out of it, holding it up for the crowd to see .a CD-ROM. Taking the primitive technology, Viper somehow inserts it into a slot in The Industrial mans robotic body, then laughs maniacally. Balan seizes up and falls to the mat, unmoving. Viper tosses the small box to the mat and walks over to Balan.]
Melvyn : What is that box?
Warren Webber : Its Windows Vista! Vile Vince Viper just installed Windows Vista into Attila Balans operating system!
Melvyn : His whole system has crashed! He cant move!
Warren Webber : This is bad.
[Viper has one more trick up his sleeve. Reaching into a pocket, he pulls out a flash drive ..and rams it into one of Balans USB ports. For several seconds, there is total silence .. and then Balan screams. The kind of scream that those who hear it will never forget. The kind of scream that pierces your soul. The scream of true and total anguish. Pain in its purest, most intense form.]
Melvyn : What did Viper just do?
Warren Webber : I dont know .. but the sound coming out of Balan will haunt me forever. Nobody has ever hurt this much.
[Beelzebozo is on the apron, towel in hand. He looks confused, but sees the torment his partner is facing. Viper motions for a microphone, and Spike tosses him one.]
VVV: Youre probably wondering what could make your mechanical friend ssssscream so much. Well, its like this, Busssssster. First, I crashed his ssssssyte, and wiped hissss memory. Then, I implanted my own program into his operating system. He has been infected with a virussssss. He cant move. He cant act. All he can do isssssss connect to the internet and watch Hellsssss Bouncer promos!!! FOREVER!!!!
[Hearing the fate his friend has been subjected to, Buster throws in the towel.]
*DING DING DING*
Melvyn : Buster threw in the towel!
Warren Webber : VIPER WINS!
[Buster runs into the ring, pleading with Viper to end Balans agony, but the King of Snakes just laughs .then decks Buster with a right hand. Buster goes to retaliate, but Spike slides into the ring and hits a Spike Cutter out of nowhere! With Buster laid out, Vile goes back to pummeling Balan.]
Melvyn : The match is over! Stop this!
Warren Webber : VVV doesnt care! He wants to end Balans career!
Melvyn : I think he already did.
Warren Webber : He is making sure!
[Spike grabs a chair and hands it to his Grandpa, who just pulverizes the unmoving Balan. Unable to defend himself, Balan has no choice but to receive shot after shot with the chair. Vile motions for Spike to get on the top turnbuckle, and Viles grandson hops up there, looking devious.]
Melvyn : Now what?
Warren Webber : I think this is it for Balan.
[Viper takes the chair and holds it over the throat of Balan, then motions for Spike to jump. Nelson flips off the top rope, and hits a jersey Devil Spike into the chair, driving it into the throat of Balan. The Industrial man, his system partially rebooting, thrashes around the ring, clutching his throat.]
Melvyn : I think Better Than Sex just put Funny Business out of business!
Warren Webber : Balans larynx has to be crushed, not to mention his punctured eye. Hes done. He has to be done.
[Crawling over to his friend, Buster desperately drapes his body over Balans trying to protect him. Vile just picks up the chair again, and plasters Beelzebozo with it. Unwilling to get off of Balans body, Beelzebozo takes the beating, until he is no longer moving. With both members of Funny Business down and out, Spike and Viper stand tall in the middle of the ring, looking proud at the total destruction of their rivals.]
Melvyn : This has been the sickest, most barbaric display of brutality imaginable. Attila Balan looks like he is finished as a competitor for good, and Buster Friendly has been beaten unconscious with a chair while trying to protect the only friend he has ever known.
Warren Webber : How does Beelzebozo go on from here, alone? Will he seek revenge for this heinous act?
Melvyn : One would only hope he would try. Vile Vince Viper has to be stopped!
Warren Webber : But can anybody stop his reign of terror? We will have to wait and see. We are out of time fans!