It's a dog eat dog world out there...
Nov 27, 2020 22:31:30 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Jesse Jamester, and 1 more like this
Post by Justin on Nov 27, 2020 22:31:30 GMT -5
Scott Steel looks like he could fumigate a house, his eyes blazing volcanic amounts of rage. Already worked into what some in the 1800s might call a froth. With his muscles all vascular and quivering, if he tossed the entirety of the building across New Orleans, would you really be THAT surprised?
“HERESWHATSGONNAHAPPENYOUROBOTHANDEDGARBAGECANSYOUSHOULDFEELLUCKYWEINVITEDYOUTOTHANKSGIVINGDINNERBUTYOUDONTKNOWYOUARESITTINGATTHEKIDSTABLESLOOKINGFORLEFTOVERS?!”
Steel, instead of bodily throwing CCFC into Lake Pontchartrain, instead helpfully clears the front desk of the gym by sweeping everything relatively close to or in connection with a far wall.
“IFYOUTHINKFORONESECONDEITHEROFUSOONTOBEHOMELESSBECAUSEIMGONNAPOWERBOMBYOUSOHARDYOUMORTAGEBOUNCESTHINKYOUHAVEVENTHESLIGHTESTSHOTATWINNINGTHEWHATEVERYOUCALLTHISTHINGIGOTANOTHERTHINGCOMINGFORYAHBROTHERYOUGOTEXACTLYATWOPERCENTCHANCEOFWINNINGTHINGTHINGBECAUSEERICDANEISGONNAHAVEODDSATONEHUNDREDANDTWENTYPERCENT!!”
Eric Dane, who has up until now been letting The Mountain do what he does best, decides at this point in time to step into the frame. At this exact moment, Angus Skaaland has re-entered his gym holding two puppies. He appraises the front desk, sees the contents of it near the far wall and sighs.
“You know what,” he perks up. “I don’t even care. Look what showed up at the front door just now! ERMAHGERD THEY’RE SERR KYEEEEEEERT!
Skaaland brandishes the two cutest balls of floof that have ever been fluffed. One of them, the smaller one, is excessively yappy. To that point he seriously will not shut up. The other one is bigger and his tongue sort of lolls out of the side of his drooling mouth.
Eric watches on as Angus brings them closer. “What in the entire fuck?”
Without using words that make any sense, Steel growls his solidarity with The Only Star. Angus takes a moment and resituates the dogs before thrusting one out at each man standing in front of him. “They’re for you guys.”
Dane scrunches his nose up.
“Hard no,” he says as the yapping dog leaps into his arms anyway. “Where did these things even come from?” It’s right about now that Dane catches sight of the hand-written tag affixed to the pupper’s collar.
“To Eric Dane, from Lord Dominicus.”
He gives the dog back to Angus.
“Get that thing away from me.”
Meanwhile, Scott stares intently at the other, larger floofer.
“WHATTHEHELLISEVENTHAT?!”
“IDONTKNOW!?”
The dumber and larger of the two dogs just kind of nuzzles against Steel, like a puppy does. Steel looks confused as he brings the tiny doggo up to eye-level and it licks his brow free of sweat. Steel has been rendered mute. A grin spreads across his face which is incredibly unnerving as he is being licked voraciously by a puppy who is probably getting a hefty dose of perfectly mostly legal human growth hormone(allegedly).
“Looks like he likes you, Scott!” Angus says. “Whaddya wanna name him?”
“LORDDOGMINICUS”
Angus nods at Dane, “What about you?”
The dog yips. Again. And again.
“Fuck you, that’s not my dog.” He thrusts the dog back at Angus, who takes him and hugs him tight because Angus is a human being and tiny corgis are the bestest thing ever.
Ever.
“Fine,” Angus starts, “I’ll name him.”
He takes a moment to consider, the pupper yaps at him constantly.
“I’ll call him li’l Eric.”
The Only Star’s brain explodes.
“HERESWHATSGONNAHAPPENYOUROBOTHANDEDGARBAGECANSYOUSHOULDFEELLUCKYWEINVITEDYOUTOTHANKSGIVINGDINNERBUTYOUDONTKNOWYOUARESITTINGATTHEKIDSTABLESLOOKINGFORLEFTOVERS?!”
Steel, instead of bodily throwing CCFC into Lake Pontchartrain, instead helpfully clears the front desk of the gym by sweeping everything relatively close to or in connection with a far wall.
“IFYOUTHINKFORONESECONDEITHEROFUSOONTOBEHOMELESSBECAUSEIMGONNAPOWERBOMBYOUSOHARDYOUMORTAGEBOUNCESTHINKYOUHAVEVENTHESLIGHTESTSHOTATWINNINGTHEWHATEVERYOUCALLTHISTHINGIGOTANOTHERTHINGCOMINGFORYAHBROTHERYOUGOTEXACTLYATWOPERCENTCHANCEOFWINNINGTHINGTHINGBECAUSEERICDANEISGONNAHAVEODDSATONEHUNDREDANDTWENTYPERCENT!!”
Eric Dane, who has up until now been letting The Mountain do what he does best, decides at this point in time to step into the frame. At this exact moment, Angus Skaaland has re-entered his gym holding two puppies. He appraises the front desk, sees the contents of it near the far wall and sighs.
“You know what,” he perks up. “I don’t even care. Look what showed up at the front door just now! ERMAHGERD THEY’RE SERR KYEEEEEEERT!
Skaaland brandishes the two cutest balls of floof that have ever been fluffed. One of them, the smaller one, is excessively yappy. To that point he seriously will not shut up. The other one is bigger and his tongue sort of lolls out of the side of his drooling mouth.
Eric watches on as Angus brings them closer. “What in the entire fuck?”
Without using words that make any sense, Steel growls his solidarity with The Only Star. Angus takes a moment and resituates the dogs before thrusting one out at each man standing in front of him. “They’re for you guys.”
Dane scrunches his nose up.
“Hard no,” he says as the yapping dog leaps into his arms anyway. “Where did these things even come from?” It’s right about now that Dane catches sight of the hand-written tag affixed to the pupper’s collar.
“To Eric Dane, from Lord Dominicus.”
He gives the dog back to Angus.
“Get that thing away from me.”
Meanwhile, Scott stares intently at the other, larger floofer.
“WHATTHEHELLISEVENTHAT?!”
“IDONTKNOW!?”
The dumber and larger of the two dogs just kind of nuzzles against Steel, like a puppy does. Steel looks confused as he brings the tiny doggo up to eye-level and it licks his brow free of sweat. Steel has been rendered mute. A grin spreads across his face which is incredibly unnerving as he is being licked voraciously by a puppy who is probably getting a hefty dose of perfectly mostly legal human growth hormone(allegedly).
“Looks like he likes you, Scott!” Angus says. “Whaddya wanna name him?”
“LORDDOGMINICUS”
Angus nods at Dane, “What about you?”
The dog yips. Again. And again.
“Fuck you, that’s not my dog.” He thrusts the dog back at Angus, who takes him and hugs him tight because Angus is a human being and tiny corgis are the bestest thing ever.
Ever.
“Fine,” Angus starts, “I’ll name him.”
He takes a moment to consider, the pupper yaps at him constantly.
“I’ll call him li’l Eric.”
The Only Star’s brain explodes.
