Post by Timeless on Dec 12, 2020 18:18:35 GMT -5
[We see Timeless and Roxylishus sitting in a class room, they are comically squeezed into the chairs that have the table attached. Timeless has a huge oversized tie on and school shorts and shirt, he is also wearing glasses and has some pencils tucked in his pocket. Roxylishus is wearing a wayyyyy to small school girls uniform, wowee, where does she find this stuff?]
Troy the smark : (dressed as a teacher in front of the black board) So, you see. (there are lines and equations drawn all over the board) It’s not just how good you wrestle or talk, there are many other factors that come into how this industry works.
Roxylishus : (holding her hand up, which almost pulls them mountain melons outta that tiny top) Ummmm … I thought this was the class for how to succeed in reality tv?
Troy the smark : You graduated that three years back when you married Mr Lishus on Married at First Site and legally scored his surname.
Timeless : What ever happened to that butler?
Roxylishus : Divorced him after the efed mundaned six week period you must be legally wed to retain a surname.
Troy the smark : So, where were we. When running a wrestling promotion, there are different variables that come into play.
Timeless : We don’t give a shit ‘Troy.’ (He says the name with disdain, he never liked teachers) We are not in school!
[Timeless jumps up and the chair shatters around him as he does and tosses his glasses away.]
Dane can take his classes and shove em up hiss!
Black can take his playground fairytale fantasy world and skip to page one hundred and forty seven which says this is NPW JACK! School time is over! Playtime is down the hall. The big boys are talking! Step up or step off. X Crown Champion my ass.
Roxylishus : Look Dane. If we wanted to be lectured by some overbearing know it all ugly ass old fossil, we’d be at Hill Valley High in Strickland’s class.
Timeless : Bloody slackers!
Roxylishus : That’s the rest of the entrants in this baby. SLACKERS!
Troy the smark : Can we get back to ,,,,,
Timeless : (and Roxylishus together) : NO!
Class is over smarks!
Time to fight!
We didn’t come here to Canada to be happy to make up the numbers and finish a respectable 2nd or 3rd. Second place is first loser. Sir Winsalot wants the gold baby!
Roxylishus : It will look so good on you. We will sell 100 times more merch than the bitter old man or the ugly skinny masked ‘evil’ boy.
Timeless : You know I heard last week Little D was going to set a promotional at a theme park, but they wouldn’t let him.
Roxylishus : Why not? Too ‘evil’? Scared the kids?
Timeless : Too small to get on the rides.
Roxylishus : I miss that little corgi he sent us though.
Timeless : Fool should be reported to Animal Welfare sending them rodents to the likes of our roster. Lucky for him I don’t go the rat route, I sort my own shit myself.
Roxylishus : Fireboy may report him, he has a extensive library of screen shots at the ready I tell you.
Timeless : Good for him. You know what I have at the ready. These!
[Crotch chop.]
Balls! Balls bigger than Little D’s puny head! That mask wouldn’t cover my hand!
Troy the smark : Todays wrestling fans don’t care how big or small you are, or even what gender you are. We like the ……
Roxylishus : Shut the fuck up Troy!
Timeless : Today’s wrestling fans have the attention span of a gnat.
Roxylishus : Which I am quite certain is still bigger than Little D.
Timeless : No doubt. You see, the fans, they don’t know what they want. Or believe. ‘They’ believe anyone can believe anything they want, unless … what you believe differs to them. They scream they want something at the top of their lungs, until they get it, then, once they have it, they don’t want it any more and move onto their next darling. (nerdy voice) Nemo should be North American Double Champion. He has ‘tried real hard’.
[Roxylishus acks, putting her finger in her throat.]
What really puts asses in seats though, is these!
[Timeless flexes his muscles and his too small school shirt disintegrates off his body like he was the hulk.]
And these!
[Close up of Roxylishus cleavage, them melons straining at the fabric holding them in so snug you just wish if you had one super power ever it would be to fry one seam with your mind and that top too disintegrate like Timeless’ shirt just did.]
Sir Winsalot dropping dolts on their heads and stretching them with technical precision. That’s what puts asses in seats!
Come the 17th, at the Powerade Centre, that’s exactly what they are going to get. As they and the entire world witness the crowning of the first ever North American Double Crown Champion. The gold will be mine, the gold that I orchestrated to be in this very spot. ME! The two hundred and fifty k large that goes along with it will be pretty handy too.
To the victor go the spoils.
And …. With all we have done to get to here, we are JUST GETTING STARTED!
It’s only our first season!
Wait until you see what we have in store for you lot next season!
Roxylishus : Swish swish motha fucka!
Troy the smark : (dressed as a teacher in front of the black board) So, you see. (there are lines and equations drawn all over the board) It’s not just how good you wrestle or talk, there are many other factors that come into how this industry works.
Roxylishus : (holding her hand up, which almost pulls them mountain melons outta that tiny top) Ummmm … I thought this was the class for how to succeed in reality tv?
Troy the smark : You graduated that three years back when you married Mr Lishus on Married at First Site and legally scored his surname.
Timeless : What ever happened to that butler?
Roxylishus : Divorced him after the efed mundaned six week period you must be legally wed to retain a surname.
Troy the smark : So, where were we. When running a wrestling promotion, there are different variables that come into play.
Timeless : We don’t give a shit ‘Troy.’ (He says the name with disdain, he never liked teachers) We are not in school!
[Timeless jumps up and the chair shatters around him as he does and tosses his glasses away.]
Dane can take his classes and shove em up hiss!
Black can take his playground fairytale fantasy world and skip to page one hundred and forty seven which says this is NPW JACK! School time is over! Playtime is down the hall. The big boys are talking! Step up or step off. X Crown Champion my ass.
Roxylishus : Look Dane. If we wanted to be lectured by some overbearing know it all ugly ass old fossil, we’d be at Hill Valley High in Strickland’s class.
Timeless : Bloody slackers!
Roxylishus : That’s the rest of the entrants in this baby. SLACKERS!
Troy the smark : Can we get back to ,,,,,
Timeless : (and Roxylishus together) : NO!
Class is over smarks!
Time to fight!
We didn’t come here to Canada to be happy to make up the numbers and finish a respectable 2nd or 3rd. Second place is first loser. Sir Winsalot wants the gold baby!
Roxylishus : It will look so good on you. We will sell 100 times more merch than the bitter old man or the ugly skinny masked ‘evil’ boy.
Timeless : You know I heard last week Little D was going to set a promotional at a theme park, but they wouldn’t let him.
Roxylishus : Why not? Too ‘evil’? Scared the kids?
Timeless : Too small to get on the rides.
Roxylishus : I miss that little corgi he sent us though.
Timeless : Fool should be reported to Animal Welfare sending them rodents to the likes of our roster. Lucky for him I don’t go the rat route, I sort my own shit myself.
Roxylishus : Fireboy may report him, he has a extensive library of screen shots at the ready I tell you.
Timeless : Good for him. You know what I have at the ready. These!
[Crotch chop.]
Balls! Balls bigger than Little D’s puny head! That mask wouldn’t cover my hand!
Troy the smark : Todays wrestling fans don’t care how big or small you are, or even what gender you are. We like the ……
Roxylishus : Shut the fuck up Troy!
Timeless : Today’s wrestling fans have the attention span of a gnat.
Roxylishus : Which I am quite certain is still bigger than Little D.
Timeless : No doubt. You see, the fans, they don’t know what they want. Or believe. ‘They’ believe anyone can believe anything they want, unless … what you believe differs to them. They scream they want something at the top of their lungs, until they get it, then, once they have it, they don’t want it any more and move onto their next darling. (nerdy voice) Nemo should be North American Double Champion. He has ‘tried real hard’.
[Roxylishus acks, putting her finger in her throat.]
What really puts asses in seats though, is these!
[Timeless flexes his muscles and his too small school shirt disintegrates off his body like he was the hulk.]
And these!
[Close up of Roxylishus cleavage, them melons straining at the fabric holding them in so snug you just wish if you had one super power ever it would be to fry one seam with your mind and that top too disintegrate like Timeless’ shirt just did.]
Sir Winsalot dropping dolts on their heads and stretching them with technical precision. That’s what puts asses in seats!
Come the 17th, at the Powerade Centre, that’s exactly what they are going to get. As they and the entire world witness the crowning of the first ever North American Double Crown Champion. The gold will be mine, the gold that I orchestrated to be in this very spot. ME! The two hundred and fifty k large that goes along with it will be pretty handy too.
To the victor go the spoils.
And …. With all we have done to get to here, we are JUST GETTING STARTED!
It’s only our first season!
Wait until you see what we have in store for you lot next season!
Roxylishus : Swish swish motha fucka!
