Dominicus and the Ebony Stones: Prelude
Jan 1, 2021 20:13:03 GMT -5
edwarddubin0604, Justin, and 5 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jan 1, 2021 20:13:03 GMT -5
“I’d hit it, my lowest point”
“How could things have gone so wrong? I decided something had to be done. I needed to redouble my evilness and so began my quest….”
“We spent hours that day trying to deduce the dark arts in order to reveal the EBONY STONES to us…”
*Back in the dark room with Lord Dominicus in thought, the lights come up and he looks right at the camera*
LD: ….Of course none of that matters for my upcoming matches. Soon I’ll be facing off against the Brothers Brothers- as I like to call them.
*Domincus points to his head because he’s a smartie*
LD: Yes, on the first night of the Cruiserweight Cup I am paired against Niko, the…brother in arms of Kono, his Dark Stars partner- a space-faring cruiserweight of little import. And then on the second night I face off against Chris Cavanagh, the …actual brother of John Cavanagh- who seems more reasonable than John, easily.
*A hearty belly laugh escapes THE GREATEST EVIL IN WRESTLING OR ANYTHING ELSE*
LD: Why am I so confident in facing these ragamuffins? Well if I already beat NPW’s best to become the champion in the first place, how are the friendly space gladiator and “other” Cavanagh supposed to threaten me? I may have fallen, but never forget, losers, that the darkness is always blackest the deeper you go.
*He leans in, maybe to smile; we have no idea because of the mask. A quick sneer is heard though before the camera finally fades.*
*We open on the NPW North American Cruiserweight Champion in a poorly lit black room in his classic “DominiThink” pose that is selling out on t-shirts- but this isn’t the fun snarky DominiThink, this is more akin to the DominiThinking Man statue that’s not selling quite as well but is still nice. The narration continues.*
“I couldn’t get the images and voices out of my mind."
Santa: You’re on the nice list!
Parent: Yeah, you go Big LD! You show ‘em that it doesn’t matter how bad you look, you can still have a good heart!
Fans: LD! LD! LD!
Parent: Yeah, you go Big LD! You show ‘em that it doesn’t matter how bad you look, you can still have a good heart!
Fans: LD! LD! LD!
“How could things have gone so wrong? I decided something had to be done. I needed to redouble my evilness and so began my quest….”
*We fade into Lord Dominicus looking around what appears to be a comic book store. He looks over the various tableaus spread before him with scorn? It’s hard to tell with the mask. Suddenly he straightens up and points.*
LD: You there, tome master!
*The few people there (why buy in person during a pandemic, right?) look around confused but Dominicus’ finger stays pointed at the man…er…probably late-teens/early-twenties Hot Topic goth behind the register. After looking around himself said person realizes that he is indeed the one who masters the tomes.*
Cashier: Woah, you, like, mean me?
*Dominicus approaches*
LD: Yes I mean you! Who else here knows these multitudes of tales better than you! I have a great need and you must assist me!
Cashier: Hmm, ok, hold on.
*He turns around for a moment, messes up his hair, puts on some extra mascara and a few random lines of makeup on his cheeks, turning around to reveal not just a cashier, but A DARK WIZARD OF MAGIC AND NOT SHROOMS OR ANYTHING, HE ONLY TRIED THEM ONCE AND THEY WERE NOT COOL AT ALL*
Cashier: BY THE HOARY HOSTS OF NIFFLEHEIM! WHAT CAN BRAAAD THE DAAAAAARK DO TO ASSIST YOU ON YOUR, LIKE, QUEST OF KNOOOOOOOWLEDGE!?
*There’s a beat in which Lord Dominicus takes in this TOTALLY LEGITIMATE TRANSFORMATION.*
LD: Wha….what? Look, I know you’re not a magician, just some milksop register jockey here. You don’t need the act.
*That took the wind out of Brad the Dark’s sails*
BtD: Yeah…but…like, you’re doing some cosplay thing, right? I was trying to help you play the role.
LD: Roleplaying? Do I look like some loser Yancy Streeter to you? I’m a pro wrestler- AND DARK LORD OF EVIL!
BtD: Ooooh, dude, like uh, Nacho Libre?
LD: I don’t pay attention to others who are lower than me. The point is I also recognize that you hold more information here than I do and I need some uh….help.
*The DARK LORD OF ALL NPW lowered his voice there at the end and leans in. Brad does as well*
BtD: What can I do for you, high pockets?
LD: I need you to use your vast knowledge of these archives to help me on a quest. You see, I feel that though my heart is filled with NOTHING BUT THE BLACKEST OF DARK MATTERS that something is….off. Do you happen to know any tales of yore featuring evil power gained and or restored?
BtD: Hmmmmmmm…..
*The two of them think in the pose you already know, then Brad snaps his fingers.*
BtD: Wait! I’ve got it! Ok, so there was like uh, this guy.
LD: Was he evil?
BtD: Yes!
LD: Ok, this is a good start.
BtD: He was like, uh, the most evil guy in the universe.
LD: Clearly before I was born then
BtD: And like, he was in love
LD: …Ok, now you’re losing me.
BtD: No no, it’s cool, he was in love….WITH DEATH!
LD: Like…the concept?
BtD: Yes, but also like…
*He gestures around his pecs with his hands.*
LD: ...Chest pads?
BtD: Anyway, what he did was collect a bunch of magic space rocks and put them together and then it gave him power over everything! He even wiped out half the universe, just like that!
*Brad snaps his fingers to show how easy it was.*
LD: Wow! Ok, so what you’re saying then is that I need to go on a quest for a bunch of rocks and I’ll once again be so evil NONE WILL STAND BEFORE MY DARK MIGHT?
BtD: Uh, yeah, I guess. But like, those rocks don’t actually exis-
LD: -t anymore. No of course, he probably destroyed them. But that’s fine. For my quest I’d likely need different stones anyway, ones that mirror the BLACKNESS IN MY SOUL!
BtD: You mean like-
LD: Yes! THE EBONY STONES!
BtD: By the hoary hosts, man!
*There’s a brief pause.*
LD: So uh….do you know of any black rocks?
BtD: Are geodes black? They’re really neat.
LD: Let’s get some paper out and try to write down of all the EBONY-ish stones we can think of.
BtD: Oh, good idea bro!
*The audio goes out and we fade away as the two try to workshop what the Ebony Stones actually are.*
LD: You there, tome master!
*The few people there (why buy in person during a pandemic, right?) look around confused but Dominicus’ finger stays pointed at the man…er…probably late-teens/early-twenties Hot Topic goth behind the register. After looking around himself said person realizes that he is indeed the one who masters the tomes.*
Cashier: Woah, you, like, mean me?
*Dominicus approaches*
LD: Yes I mean you! Who else here knows these multitudes of tales better than you! I have a great need and you must assist me!
Cashier: Hmm, ok, hold on.
*He turns around for a moment, messes up his hair, puts on some extra mascara and a few random lines of makeup on his cheeks, turning around to reveal not just a cashier, but A DARK WIZARD OF MAGIC AND NOT SHROOMS OR ANYTHING, HE ONLY TRIED THEM ONCE AND THEY WERE NOT COOL AT ALL*
Cashier: BY THE HOARY HOSTS OF NIFFLEHEIM! WHAT CAN BRAAAD THE DAAAAAARK DO TO ASSIST YOU ON YOUR, LIKE, QUEST OF KNOOOOOOOWLEDGE!?
*There’s a beat in which Lord Dominicus takes in this TOTALLY LEGITIMATE TRANSFORMATION.*
LD: Wha….what? Look, I know you’re not a magician, just some milksop register jockey here. You don’t need the act.
*That took the wind out of Brad the Dark’s sails*
BtD: Yeah…but…like, you’re doing some cosplay thing, right? I was trying to help you play the role.
LD: Roleplaying? Do I look like some loser Yancy Streeter to you? I’m a pro wrestler- AND DARK LORD OF EVIL!
BtD: Ooooh, dude, like uh, Nacho Libre?
LD: I don’t pay attention to others who are lower than me. The point is I also recognize that you hold more information here than I do and I need some uh….help.
*The DARK LORD OF ALL NPW lowered his voice there at the end and leans in. Brad does as well*
BtD: What can I do for you, high pockets?
LD: I need you to use your vast knowledge of these archives to help me on a quest. You see, I feel that though my heart is filled with NOTHING BUT THE BLACKEST OF DARK MATTERS that something is….off. Do you happen to know any tales of yore featuring evil power gained and or restored?
BtD: Hmmmmmmm…..
*The two of them think in the pose you already know, then Brad snaps his fingers.*
BtD: Wait! I’ve got it! Ok, so there was like uh, this guy.
LD: Was he evil?
BtD: Yes!
LD: Ok, this is a good start.
BtD: He was like, uh, the most evil guy in the universe.
LD: Clearly before I was born then
BtD: And like, he was in love
LD: …Ok, now you’re losing me.
BtD: No no, it’s cool, he was in love….WITH DEATH!
LD: Like…the concept?
BtD: Yes, but also like…
*He gestures around his pecs with his hands.*
LD: ...Chest pads?
BtD: Anyway, what he did was collect a bunch of magic space rocks and put them together and then it gave him power over everything! He even wiped out half the universe, just like that!
*Brad snaps his fingers to show how easy it was.*
LD: Wow! Ok, so what you’re saying then is that I need to go on a quest for a bunch of rocks and I’ll once again be so evil NONE WILL STAND BEFORE MY DARK MIGHT?
BtD: Uh, yeah, I guess. But like, those rocks don’t actually exis-
LD: -t anymore. No of course, he probably destroyed them. But that’s fine. For my quest I’d likely need different stones anyway, ones that mirror the BLACKNESS IN MY SOUL!
BtD: You mean like-
LD: Yes! THE EBONY STONES!
BtD: By the hoary hosts, man!
*There’s a brief pause.*
LD: So uh….do you know of any black rocks?
BtD: Are geodes black? They’re really neat.
LD: Let’s get some paper out and try to write down of all the EBONY-ish stones we can think of.
BtD: Oh, good idea bro!
*The audio goes out and we fade away as the two try to workshop what the Ebony Stones actually are.*
“We spent hours that day trying to deduce the dark arts in order to reveal the EBONY STONES to us…”
*Back in the dark room with Lord Dominicus in thought, the lights come up and he looks right at the camera*
LD: ….Of course none of that matters for my upcoming matches. Soon I’ll be facing off against the Brothers Brothers- as I like to call them.
*Domincus points to his head because he’s a smartie*
LD: Yes, on the first night of the Cruiserweight Cup I am paired against Niko, the…brother in arms of Kono, his Dark Stars partner- a space-faring cruiserweight of little import. And then on the second night I face off against Chris Cavanagh, the …actual brother of John Cavanagh- who seems more reasonable than John, easily.
*A hearty belly laugh escapes THE GREATEST EVIL IN WRESTLING OR ANYTHING ELSE*
LD: Why am I so confident in facing these ragamuffins? Well if I already beat NPW’s best to become the champion in the first place, how are the friendly space gladiator and “other” Cavanagh supposed to threaten me? I may have fallen, but never forget, losers, that the darkness is always blackest the deeper you go.
*He leans in, maybe to smile; we have no idea because of the mask. A quick sneer is heard though before the camera finally fades.*