Post by Timeless on Jan 2, 2021 15:35:17 GMT -5
[We open to a huge ballroom, there is chandeliers and a podium, it’s quite the setting.]
[Orion - Eternity (Chillout Version) hits and we see Timeless and Roxylishus walk out to the podium. Timeless is a Tux and looks like James Bond. Roxylishus is in a silver sequined low cut evening gown and she could be a movie star.]
Timeless : Hello everyone, and welcome to the 2020 Timeless Awards!
[He smiles knowingly to the camera, fully aware where he is going, an ‘I don’t give a fuck’ smile that screams come at me.]
Tonight, we are going to give out our OWN awards. Awards that the people REALLY want to see!
Roxylishus : That’s right XHF. But before we go there, how about the finish to NPW’s New Years Show! Man, talk about making a statement!
Timeless : Damn straight. And I will say right now, you are welcome. You are welcome Dylan. You are welcome Dane. I did you two the biggest kindness in the world when I decided to knock the pair of you out.
Roxylishus : (interrupting) Ahem … Knock them ‘THE FUCK OUT’.
Timeless : (dismissively) Yes yes. Knock them the fuck out. Stand over their prone carcasses showing the whole world their belts as some kind of foreshadowing for what lays ahead in 21.
The pair of ‘em both able to sleep easier at night knowing they didn’t go down for the count to the other. Most likely cause still concussed from my beatdown.
Roxylishus : What an epic way to close out the year. And what a momentous occasion this is here to kick off the new year. Let’s get to the awards shall we.
Timeless : Why not. Our first award, is for the most outlandish and elaborate assortment of clothing that can be focused on in one shoot when arriving in a car park, followed by once all are out of the car to then proceed to do absolutely nothing ….
Roxylishus : And the award goes to, at NPW’s New Years Show, their arrival in the parking lot segment. The Syndicate!
[Canned applause is played.]
Timeless : Bravo guys. Great detail on all them completely irrelevant outfits. Riveting stuff. Our next award, goes to the most unoriginal name for a Stable in the XHF. Lets see, I wonder who it could be?
Roxylishus : (opening an envelope) The winner is …… THE SYNDICATE!
Timeless : Wow. Two awards from two. Come on guys. The Syndicate? We already have a Syndicate in XHF.
Roxylishus : Two.
Timeless : What?
Roxylishus : Two. There is a wrestler running around calling himself Syndicate also, as well as our old home SWAT.
Timeless : (shaking his head then preens and stands up straight) Next award is for the group to have the most segments in one single show completely over saturating and drowning us in their BS.
Roxylishus : Let me guess …. Syndicate?
Timeless : Nailed it!
Roxylishus : Three from three. A hat trick!
Timeless : A ‘something’. Our next award goes to the wrestler most resembling the middle aged divorcee up the road whowrestles for opens her legs for every fed person on the street.
Roxylishus : (opens an envelope) And the winner is … JONNIE VALENTINE!!!!
Timeless : Way to go Valentine! Spread the love.those legs Our next award goes to the fool in the shittiest house on the street fed screaming she he is his at the top of their lungs. FIRESIDE!!!
Roxylishus : Hey! That’s meant to be MY job to read out the winners!
Timeless : Sorry, think I got a little excited there. It’s like, he is the desperate mistress, and the bored husband has been telling him whatever he wants to hear, but he just wont pack the bags and leave the kids. So, she after a few to many wines, gets on social media and posts some pics of her and the husband, proclaiming him hers. Meanwhile, he isn’t with either the mistress or the family at the time, he’s off on a junket to Canada or somewherelosing in the opening match oblivious and getting his frills with some bimbo.
[Timeless stares directly into the lens, fuck your tug of war.]
Our next award, goes to the person most likely to run around a locker roomyour inbox trying to coax your members to his fed with screen shots even to your own girlfriend and knifes in the back while your laying down for him in a loser leaves fed match to make your way to your new home with the highest paid contract in the XHF.
Roxylishus : Oooooh. I know this one. COCKHEAD CAFFREY!!!!
Timeless : Ding ding ding. We have a winner!
Roxylishus : (takes an envelope from him) Next award goes to the fool most likely to scream at people and call them a racist because they made a catch phrase that rhymed.
Timeless : I know this one.KIRA Danuwaanahili!!!
Roxylishus : Yes! The idiocy of some people knows no bounds.
Timeless : Kids. (Shakes his head) Our next award goes to the millennial most likely to take offense ….
Roxylishus : (interrupting) All of them.
Timeless : Wait! Damnit! Yes, you are right, but this one is the millennial most likely to take offense, when after just saying ‘everyone has a right to believe what they believe’, then explodes in a fury when they tell you ‘you are wrong in what you believe because it is not the same as they believe’.
Roxylishus : Ohhhh … ummmmm …. All of them?
Timeless : BINGO! Our next award is for thebiggest smallest pain in my ass for the year.
Roxylishus : (opens the envelope, our first drum role of the night) Lord Dominicus!
Timeless : That little pip squeak has a death wish coming for me, and once I win the X Crown at Supremacy and bring it home to NPW I will make him rue the day and give him the first shot at it here!
Roxylishus : Another gift. Dane, Dylan, now LD. Are you going for the Santa gimmick change? Xmas is over you know.
Timeless : Gimmick Changes are for the Emperor.
[Rolls his eyes and Roxylishus acks with a finger in her throat.]
Roxylishus : Well, every dog has his day and his is coming to him.
Timeless : Indeed it is. This next award cracks me up the most. It is for the Fed most likely to go off the deep end in a fit of outrage and indignity, rush to make a statement banning any people associated with one fed from having anything to do with their fed, then, continue to book people from such fed anyway and do absolutely nothing but huff and puff in that statement.
Roxylishus : Ummm ….
Timeless : Wait a sec, there is more to this award. They then threatened to use all their ‘contacts’ to run said fed off network and while brandishing their enraged fist in the air told them they are also banned from a country. So said said fed went to that country for a show the very next show and low and behold no one gave a fuck and NOTHING HAPPENED!
Roxylishus : Ahhh, yes yes, I know that one. (laughing at the absurdity of it all) JRok! The winner is JRok.
Timeless : They showedus them.
Moving right along.
[Timeless has another card.]
Award for the wrestler most likely to, even after pilfering over 40 million dollars from a promotions coffers and risk imprisonment revealing himself, seek so much attention that he would risk getting plastic surgery and returning with a different face and name to try and get some more of that limelight?
Roxylishus : (looks lost and opens the card) Zoran Sainovic!!!
Timeless : My old friend.
Roxylishus : Emphasis on the word Old.
Timeless : Old but wise. He is a wily one and one we must not underestimate. One I have respect for but one I have helped on his way to the top over and over and over again.
Roxylishus : Remember when YOU tossed Radu Matei into the Hudson river and HE got all the glory of the win?
Timeless : Like it was yesterday. That’s how this world works. It was his time then, I helped him to get there and stay up there. Now. Now it is MY TIME!
Sir Winsalot’s Time!
Roxylishus : Swish Swish Mutha Fucka. Hey, got any awards in there for Adam Sanders?
Timeless : (looks thru the empty box in front of him) Doesn’t look like it.
Roxylishus : Maybe next year?
Timeless : That’s what they’ll be telling him in the locker room after the beating I dish out his way at The Battle for Hegemony.
Roxylishus : (looks dumbfounded) Battle for WHAT?!
Timeless : Leadership or dominance, especially by one state or social group over others. TIMELESS over THEM!
Roxylishus : (still clearly not understanding) Ohhh. Ok.
[She smiles and flicks her hair.]
Timeless : Special parting words for any fools out there OFFENDED by these awards. If you resemble them and it triggers you. Take all that outrage, and COME THE FUCK AT ME! You Fuck with ME and I FUCK with YOU. It’s that simple. Until the end of Time.
Roxylishus : (imitating the triggered vegan lady from the memes) RARRRH! (she still looks HAWT even with the mocking triggered rolled back eyes, you wish you could see them eyes rolled back in another context, you filthy animal you)
Timeless : (goes into narrator mode) These awards have been brought to you by Sir Winsalot. THE DRAW! These are not sanctioned or supported by the XHF. IF you have an issue with winning such award, take it to the mirror and have a good hard look at yourself.
Unfadeable.
[Orion - Eternity (Chillout Version) hits and we see Timeless and Roxylishus walk out to the podium. Timeless is a Tux and looks like James Bond. Roxylishus is in a silver sequined low cut evening gown and she could be a movie star.]
Timeless : Hello everyone, and welcome to the 2020 Timeless Awards!
[He smiles knowingly to the camera, fully aware where he is going, an ‘I don’t give a fuck’ smile that screams come at me.]
Tonight, we are going to give out our OWN awards. Awards that the people REALLY want to see!
Roxylishus : That’s right XHF. But before we go there, how about the finish to NPW’s New Years Show! Man, talk about making a statement!
Timeless : Damn straight. And I will say right now, you are welcome. You are welcome Dylan. You are welcome Dane. I did you two the biggest kindness in the world when I decided to knock the pair of you out.
Roxylishus : (interrupting) Ahem … Knock them ‘THE FUCK OUT’.
Timeless : (dismissively) Yes yes. Knock them the fuck out. Stand over their prone carcasses showing the whole world their belts as some kind of foreshadowing for what lays ahead in 21.
The pair of ‘em both able to sleep easier at night knowing they didn’t go down for the count to the other. Most likely cause still concussed from my beatdown.
Roxylishus : What an epic way to close out the year. And what a momentous occasion this is here to kick off the new year. Let’s get to the awards shall we.
Timeless : Why not. Our first award, is for the most outlandish and elaborate assortment of clothing that can be focused on in one shoot when arriving in a car park, followed by once all are out of the car to then proceed to do absolutely nothing ….
Roxylishus : And the award goes to, at NPW’s New Years Show, their arrival in the parking lot segment. The Syndicate!
[Canned applause is played.]
Timeless : Bravo guys. Great detail on all them completely irrelevant outfits. Riveting stuff. Our next award, goes to the most unoriginal name for a Stable in the XHF. Lets see, I wonder who it could be?
Roxylishus : (opening an envelope) The winner is …… THE SYNDICATE!
Timeless : Wow. Two awards from two. Come on guys. The Syndicate? We already have a Syndicate in XHF.
Roxylishus : Two.
Timeless : What?
Roxylishus : Two. There is a wrestler running around calling himself Syndicate also, as well as our old home SWAT.
Timeless : (shaking his head then preens and stands up straight) Next award is for the group to have the most segments in one single show completely over saturating and drowning us in their BS.
Roxylishus : Let me guess …. Syndicate?
Timeless : Nailed it!
Roxylishus : Three from three. A hat trick!
Timeless : A ‘something’. Our next award goes to the wrestler most resembling the middle aged divorcee up the road who
Roxylishus : (opens an envelope) And the winner is … JONNIE VALENTINE!!!!
Timeless : Way to go Valentine! Spread the love.
Roxylishus : Hey! That’s meant to be MY job to read out the winners!
Timeless : Sorry, think I got a little excited there. It’s like, he is the desperate mistress, and the bored husband has been telling him whatever he wants to hear, but he just wont pack the bags and leave the kids. So, she after a few to many wines, gets on social media and posts some pics of her and the husband, proclaiming him hers. Meanwhile, he isn’t with either the mistress or the family at the time, he’s off on a junket to Canada or somewhere
[Timeless stares directly into the lens, fuck your tug of war.]
Our next award, goes to the person most likely to run around a locker room
Roxylishus : Oooooh. I know this one. COCKHEAD CAFFREY!!!!
Timeless : Ding ding ding. We have a winner!
Roxylishus : (takes an envelope from him) Next award goes to the fool most likely to scream at people and call them a racist because they made a catch phrase that rhymed.
Timeless : I know this one.
Roxylishus : Yes! The idiocy of some people knows no bounds.
Timeless : Kids. (Shakes his head) Our next award goes to the millennial most likely to take offense ….
Roxylishus : (interrupting) All of them.
Timeless : Wait! Damnit! Yes, you are right, but this one is the millennial most likely to take offense, when after just saying ‘everyone has a right to believe what they believe’, then explodes in a fury when they tell you ‘you are wrong in what you believe because it is not the same as they believe’.
Roxylishus : Ohhhh … ummmmm …. All of them?
Timeless : BINGO! Our next award is for the
Roxylishus : (opens the envelope, our first drum role of the night) Lord Dominicus!
Timeless : That little pip squeak has a death wish coming for me, and once I win the X Crown at Supremacy and bring it home to NPW I will make him rue the day and give him the first shot at it here!
Roxylishus : Another gift. Dane, Dylan, now LD. Are you going for the Santa gimmick change? Xmas is over you know.
Timeless : Gimmick Changes are for the Emperor.
[Rolls his eyes and Roxylishus acks with a finger in her throat.]
Roxylishus : Well, every dog has his day and his is coming to him.
Timeless : Indeed it is. This next award cracks me up the most. It is for the Fed most likely to go off the deep end in a fit of outrage and indignity, rush to make a statement banning any people associated with one fed from having anything to do with their fed, then, continue to book people from such fed anyway and do absolutely nothing but huff and puff in that statement.
Roxylishus : Ummm ….
Timeless : Wait a sec, there is more to this award. They then threatened to use all their ‘contacts’ to run said fed off network and while brandishing their enraged fist in the air told them they are also banned from a country. So said said fed went to that country for a show the very next show and low and behold no one gave a fuck and NOTHING HAPPENED!
Roxylishus : Ahhh, yes yes, I know that one. (laughing at the absurdity of it all) JRok! The winner is JRok.
Timeless : They showed
Moving right along.
[Timeless has another card.]
Award for the wrestler most likely to, even after pilfering over 40 million dollars from a promotions coffers and risk imprisonment revealing himself, seek so much attention that he would risk getting plastic surgery and returning with a different face and name to try and get some more of that limelight?
Roxylishus : (looks lost and opens the card) Zoran Sainovic!!!
Timeless : My old friend.
Roxylishus : Emphasis on the word Old.
Timeless : Old but wise. He is a wily one and one we must not underestimate. One I have respect for but one I have helped on his way to the top over and over and over again.
Roxylishus : Remember when YOU tossed Radu Matei into the Hudson river and HE got all the glory of the win?
Timeless : Like it was yesterday. That’s how this world works. It was his time then, I helped him to get there and stay up there. Now. Now it is MY TIME!
Sir Winsalot’s Time!
Roxylishus : Swish Swish Mutha Fucka. Hey, got any awards in there for Adam Sanders?
Timeless : (looks thru the empty box in front of him) Doesn’t look like it.
Roxylishus : Maybe next year?
Timeless : That’s what they’ll be telling him in the locker room after the beating I dish out his way at The Battle for Hegemony.
Roxylishus : (looks dumbfounded) Battle for WHAT?!
Timeless : Leadership or dominance, especially by one state or social group over others. TIMELESS over THEM!
Roxylishus : (still clearly not understanding) Ohhh. Ok.
[She smiles and flicks her hair.]
Timeless : Special parting words for any fools out there OFFENDED by these awards. If you resemble them and it triggers you. Take all that outrage, and COME THE FUCK AT ME! You Fuck with ME and I FUCK with YOU. It’s that simple. Until the end of Time.
Roxylishus : (imitating the triggered vegan lady from the memes) RARRRH! (she still looks HAWT even with the mocking triggered rolled back eyes, you wish you could see them eyes rolled back in another context, you filthy animal you)
Timeless : (goes into narrator mode) These awards have been brought to you by Sir Winsalot. THE DRAW! These are not sanctioned or supported by the XHF. IF you have an issue with winning such award, take it to the mirror and have a good hard look at yourself.
Unfadeable.