Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jan 10, 2021 10:12:13 GMT -5
*The scene opens up in a nice house. It is quaint, the kind of thing you'd see in a TV sitcom. There are two recliners and a basket in the middle with what looks like knitting equipment. There is a crisp fire burning in the fireplace in front of the chairs as we approach from behind. We hear a yipping noise.*
: "Yes Buttons, I know we don't usually like partaking in these societal norms but we need to say thank you for bringing us together. My glorious war hound, you have felled five beasts just today! We are meant to be a team!"
*As we turn the corner to see who it is we see Primal sitting in his loincloth on the fancy chair leaving grease and sweat stains in the beautiful upholstery. That'll never come out. On the rug in front is Buttons the War Corgi, tail wagging joyously ... soaked in blood from what looks like 4 squirrels and a chipmunk he has mauled. Primal is not a good trainer. How did he even afford a house?*
: "Since I'm in the giving mood I am doing more than one. I have the materials and the time since my match got pushed to the finale of the Cruiserweight Cup. Pathetic fools competing for a trophy and a chance at a belt. How pitiful. Yes Buttons I know, we only really need to reward Lord Dominicus but there's a few others we should be giving gifts to. After all we forgot Yule!"
*Primal laughs his evil laugh and we see he is knitting a ... very dark colored ... set of swimwear. He holds up a bikini top and a bikini bottom ...*
: "The bottom is for Dominicus, I'm sure he'll find it to his liking, dark and evil and oh so warm. Maybe a bit itchy. As all good clothing gifts are. *yips from Buttons* Yes the top is quite large ... it's for Roxy. It's clear Timeless isn't giving her the time, attention, or possessions she clearly wants from him so I'm doing them a solid. She'll love the Primal look!"
*Wait ... the material he's knitting with isn't leading to the basket ... oh God ... he's knitted clothing out of his very ample and disgusting back and ass hair! ... You can all vomit now.*
: "Maybe I'll make some ear muffs for Steel, and a headband for Jamester, and a hat for Dane. If I use the front side of me I can even make some mittens for Van Zandt! BAHAHHAHA!"
*Primal laughs as we hear the front door open and slam shut.*
"HOLY FUCK WHO THE FUCK ARE YO- OH GOD THE SMELL! You've ruined my furniture and my house. Is that a corgi?"
*Ah, he broke into a random Canadian's house. That makes sense. After a short conversation the unnerved Canadian woman really wants rid of Primal but being Canadian she is too nice and let's him finish his gifts, pays to ship them out, gives him a glass of milk, and doesn't sue for the damages or the dog biting her ankles. How pleasant*
: "Enjoy the tidings!"
*He lays the boxes at the mailbox to be picked up. One for Dominicus, one for Roxy, and three for the Syndicate. MERRY PRIMALMAS!*
: "Yes Buttons, I know we don't usually like partaking in these societal norms but we need to say thank you for bringing us together. My glorious war hound, you have felled five beasts just today! We are meant to be a team!"*As we turn the corner to see who it is we see Primal sitting in his loincloth on the fancy chair leaving grease and sweat stains in the beautiful upholstery. That'll never come out. On the rug in front is Buttons the War Corgi, tail wagging joyously ... soaked in blood from what looks like 4 squirrels and a chipmunk he has mauled. Primal is not a good trainer. How did he even afford a house?*
: "Since I'm in the giving mood I am doing more than one. I have the materials and the time since my match got pushed to the finale of the Cruiserweight Cup. Pathetic fools competing for a trophy and a chance at a belt. How pitiful. Yes Buttons I know, we only really need to reward Lord Dominicus but there's a few others we should be giving gifts to. After all we forgot Yule!"*Primal laughs his evil laugh and we see he is knitting a ... very dark colored ... set of swimwear. He holds up a bikini top and a bikini bottom ...*
: "The bottom is for Dominicus, I'm sure he'll find it to his liking, dark and evil and oh so warm. Maybe a bit itchy. As all good clothing gifts are. *yips from Buttons* Yes the top is quite large ... it's for Roxy. It's clear Timeless isn't giving her the time, attention, or possessions she clearly wants from him so I'm doing them a solid. She'll love the Primal look!"*Wait ... the material he's knitting with isn't leading to the basket ... oh God ... he's knitted clothing out of his very ample and disgusting back and ass hair! ... You can all vomit now.*
: "Maybe I'll make some ear muffs for Steel, and a headband for Jamester, and a hat for Dane. If I use the front side of me I can even make some mittens for Van Zandt! BAHAHHAHA!"*Primal laughs as we hear the front door open and slam shut.*
"HOLY FUCK WHO THE FUCK ARE YO- OH GOD THE SMELL! You've ruined my furniture and my house. Is that a corgi?"
*Ah, he broke into a random Canadian's house. That makes sense. After a short conversation the unnerved Canadian woman really wants rid of Primal but being Canadian she is too nice and let's him finish his gifts, pays to ship them out, gives him a glass of milk, and doesn't sue for the damages or the dog biting her ankles. How pleasant*
: "Enjoy the tidings!"*He lays the boxes at the mailbox to be picked up. One for Dominicus, one for Roxy, and three for the Syndicate. MERRY PRIMALMAS!*
