No Man's Land 2021 (Show)

[Kyle]

Insomniac with Dave Attell? Nope, it's just Keith Williams stumbling everywhere backstage in a sleepy stupor. Red Bull and Jägermeister being used as a preparatory combination. Not mixed together in a single container, The Ultimate Kingpin sloshes the right mixture into his waiting gullet, double clenching a bottle and can.

Keith Williams: "ReV it up! ReV it up! ReV it up!"

Confused, KW seems to be expecting someone else to join in.

Keith Williams: "Come on, guys, I can't do it alone..."

Looking side to side, behind, and all around, the SWAT Universal Sin Champion realizes he has no one escorting him.

Keith Williams: "That's right, Neo and Rob aren't in SWAT."

Traveling through the corridors of the Amazons Arena, Keith bumps into a man that seems disoriented.

Perpetually Lost Stanley: "Excuse me, do you know where I can find The Society of the New Breed? I've been paid to provide a service."

Suspiciously eyeballing the visitor, Williams chugs the Jägermeister.

Keith Williams: "Who??!!"

Startled by The Paragon of Sleaze, the gentleman explains further.

Perpetually Lost Stanley: "Rally Jackson. Tuxedo Mask. Jonnie Valentine."

Nodding, this seems to ring a bell with The Muse for the Masses.

Keith Williams: "Yeah, I know 'em. What's it to you? Are you a happy time hand boy? Here to relieve some stress?"

Offended by the accusation, Stanley blurts out the unfortunate reason he's there.

Perpetually Lost Stanley: "I was paid to bleach their rectums!!"

Taken aback, Keith isn't sure how to respond.

Keith Williams: "Their what? How is that good for the body heading into a Royal Rumble scenario? It doesn't make sense!"

Perpetually Lost Stanley: "I just go where they book me, man. I don't understand the craze either, but it pays the bills."

Keith Williams: "It's named the brown eye for a reason, goddammit! Is nothing sacred to these people? Get! Get! Go!"

Shooing the annoying sphincter serviceman away, KW makes it known he doesn't want him around.

Perpetually Lost Stanley: "I need the tip, dude!"

Keith Williams: "Here's a tip, stop making a living changing the color nature assigned!!"

Kicking the unwelcome guest in his ass, The Sleazy One forces the butt bleacher to flee as Red Bull and Jägermeister are spilled in the process.

Keith Williams: "Look what you made me do!! No respect, I get no respect!!"

Sadly looking at the wasted booze, Williams returns his attention to the camera in front of him.

Keith Williams: "This is what's wrong with the business today. Social media, butthole bleaching, lack of tag ropes. Where did we go wrong?"

Talking to a crowd of no one, an answer isn't forthcoming for Keith. Staring at a fire extinguisher on the wall that didn't do anything, The Champion of Champions gives it a tough time.

Keith Williams: "You're talking to me all wrong... It's the wrong tone. You do it again and I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that!"

Slapping the fire protection device, Keith hazily lumbers on.

Keith Williams: "Double O and Keith Williams are eiffel towering any lucky ladies that are up to enter the palace of pleasure! Who wants to go first? Linda La Fey? Graysie Parker? Industrial Woman?"

Pointing at people that only he can see, Williams sizes up the quarry.

Keith Williams: "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen!"

Awfully repeat singing the opening line from Louis Armstrong's famous song, Keith guzzles down liquor and energy drink.

Keith Williams: "I'm only one man and I'm single-handedly making two promotions better concurrently! Who else could do that? Who else but me? I've added more merit to both SWAT and AWF than ever thought possible. When my body betrays me and my sleazy spirit is released, they'll build monuments to remember me. Great skyscrapers constructed to memorialize my preeminent sleaze."

Out of chaser, KW crushes the empty can into his forehead and abandons it as he staggers forward with only the Jägermeister.

Keith Williams: "Do you know what I have to say to my opponents? Do you?!"

Wanting to address the camera directly, Williams splashes liquor as he lurches to turn into place.

Keith Williams: "Don't talk shit while in cum shot distance! My aim is... Unequaled! I trained myself from puberty so that I could hit a fly from twenty yards! That's how precise I am!"

Keith crudely acts out shooting a stream of baby batter that nails a fly out of the air.

Keith Williams: "I will proudly sport the top titles of two promotions in the XHF Network when I go on to win the Royal Rumble tonight and later liberate the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship. I can be the conduit between SWAT and the AWF! The face that unites two places! As AWF Prestige Champion I've already increased the stock of the title and the promotion. With that in mind, does SWAT want to be as good as the AWF? Or does it want to circle the drain and do the same things it's always done? I represent redemption! I can confirm the grass is greener on the other side, it always is. As your SWAT US Champion, it wouldn't be a burden to defend another title, quite the opposite. Gaining the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship would only further behoove me to improve Syndicate Wrestling & Tradition."

Demolishing what remains of the drink, Williams shakes the container until every last drop is flushed out and hits his tongue.

Keith Williams: "As your Ultimate Kingpin, I know what's best because I am the best. When I step foot in that ring this evening, there's no one and nothing that's going to stop me from tossing whomever I have to over the top rope. After it's only The ReVenants, then we can decide who truly wants it most. Oxford Osland or Keith Williams."

Latching onto the now empty bottle of Jägermeister, The Paragon of Sleaze disappears down a hallway, deserting the cameraman.

[Lucky Linda]

”Two down. One to Go.” Linda smiles brightly to the camera, she is wearing her Fight The Power Zoran t-shirt and is joined by Glamorous Glenda in front of the Amazons backdrop banner.



“Congrats on making it to the final Linda, just yourself and Isabel Rios left. What a match up, two of the most popular women in the XHF. We couldn’t have hoped for a better final.”

“Thanks Glenda. Firstly. More importantly than this final. I would like to wish my SWAT Classic Teammate Radu Matei all the very best in his retirement from the XHF. He is a true Icon of the sport, and I have been privileged to work alongside him and share his friendship.” She thuds her shirt, we all know now.

“More important?” asks Glenda.

“It’s not everyday a legend goes away, sure many people come and go, it’s the nature of the beast, but the very best, they don’t grow on trees.” Linda looks focused. “Not to say this final isn’t important to me. The polar opposite! It means the world to me. I am going to go out there and do what I always do. Give it my very best. Fight until I can not fight anymore, and then, keep on fighting anyway.”

“We just witnessed a new Amazon’s Champion. Kid Dynamite upsetting the Industrial Women. How about that?” asks Glenda.

“How about it indeed. To be sure too be sure it was an upset for the ages.” Linda wipes her brow dramatically. “Today’s under dog becomes tomorrow Hero. Out with the old and in with the new. That’s how it works here, take your eye off the prize, for even the shortest moment, and you see what can happen. Anyone can beat anyone in SWAT!”

“Will you be looking for a Championship opportunity from the new Champion?”

“You know it!” hollers Linda. “But not now, not today. Today. All I am concerned with, what has all of my attention, is the final of the No Man’s Land Tournament. Isabel Rios.”

“She has had a meteoric rise to the top in the XHF.” Linda continues “ Outshining most of the fella’s over there. I saw her and I said to myself. One day. One day its going to be you and her. I didn’t know when that day would be, I am not seer. But I knew it would come, sooner rather than later it seems.”

“The sooner the better. The big shots in the back are rubbing their hands together at the way the top two seeds have advanced to the final.” Says Glenda.

“It has been a stacked field, and just to make it to the final is something to be real proud of. But. I didn’t come here to finish an admirable second place. I came to win this thing. Two years in a row Glenda! Back to Back! It’s just an hour and change away.”

“Speaking of, do you have a tip for us for the Royal Rumble?”

“Well, I would love to see fellow Amazon Blaze Freya take it out! From what I heard in the back, with Rally winning the World Belt from El Combatiente, she has subbed into that last spot, and wouldn’t that be something, if, on our celebration to women’s wrestling, she was not only the first woman to enter the rumble, but to take out the whole thing!”

“It certainly would. Any other chances in there?”

“Well. My man The Suit is in it. So, I have to think he will be a big threat. Also, “ Linda grimaces and then begrudgingly continues “Also, Keith Williams. I have seen first hand what he can do in the ring, and he must be a big chance to take it out. That’s my trifecta. Get your money on it guys, who knows, you might just get Lucky.”

“Isabel thinks you are not so much lucky but good. Talented. Legit.” Says Glenda.

“Too legit to Quit.” Linda pumps her fist in a hokey fashion. “Its funny Issy. The harder I work, the more I put in, the luckier I get. But thanks, I appreciate the compliments. Talent radiates from you also. When two great talented opponents face off in the Amazons Arena, two tremendously gifted competitors, both willing to give their all, what does it take for one to come out on top though? Maybe the only difference will be, a little bit of luck?.”

“We will see I guess, right after this upcoming Royal Rumble, which is coming up next! Thanks Linda. Good luck in the final.” Glenda shakes Linda’s hand as we fade.

[SWAT Team]

[Rip it Up by 28 Days hits as we switch back to the ring, there is a couch and a coffee table and the set of Suit's Suite is in the ring. Mad Dog Paul Soutter makes his way down to the ring, high fiving the fans, no selling social distancing.]

[On the SWAT tron we see doctored footage of Tom Cruise jumping up and down on the couch imposed in the ring. Then more doctored footage showing Rick James/Dave Chappelle on his back stamping his feet on the couch. FUCK_ YO_ COUCH. Now a shot of Heidi giving Suit a lap dance on the couch on the SWAT tron.]

Soutter : WELCOME TO SUITS SUITE!!!

Wow. What a night it’s been so far. Both Lucky Linda and Isabel Rios progressed to the finals of the tourney, way to go Girls!

The Stinky Bandits retaining the tag belts. Hell of a win I got to admit, defeating the X Crown and SWAT World Champions. Hats off to the Bandits.

And now, my guest tonight, he is about to enter his first SWAT Royal Rumble. He is the SWAT Universal Sin Champion, he is the Paragon of Sleaze! KEITH WILLIAMS!! Come on down.

Unexpectedly "When the Levee Breaks" by Led Zeppelin plays and The Paragon of Sleaze makes his way out to boos as well as cheers. Ignoring the reaction of the fans, Keith heads into the ring and plonks himself onto the Suite.

Soutter : Keith Williams. Welcome to the Suite. That is one HELL of a song, man.

Williams : Thank you. The best acknowledges the best. Know what I mean?

Soutter : Schucks. So. Let’s get to brass tax. You came here to SWAT at the call of Lucky Linda. She reaches out to you and offers you a spot on her team for Helloween. Next minute, you are trying to pin HER for the win? Your own team mate?

Williams : Every dog’s gotta eat, Paul. I’m not starving for ANY bitch.

Soutter : Fair enough. She is a big girl and she fights her own battles.

Williams : Whenever she wants a big bone to gnaw on, Linda knows where to find me.

[The Ultimate Kingpin cringingly winks at the camera ad nauseam.]

Soutter : (frowning and looking angered) She don’t want nothing to do with that bone.

We have seen you bring the ReVenants here to SWAT and add a new member in Oxford Osland. Two guys making a BIG impact here at SWAT. Anyone else coming into SWAT to join your crew?

Williams : Maybe, maybe not. I’m still actively recruiting Edward and other talented SWAT stars. Jonnie Valentine, Rally Jackson, Radu Matei. They’d all make excellent additions to The ReVenants.

Soutter : We also saw the ReVenants win Stable of the Year at the XHF End of Year awards. Congrats.

Williams : Thank you, Paul. I mean that. I can’t think of a single group more deserving of the award than us.

Soutter : The number one stable here at SWAT is The KGB. My old crew. They are slime and snakes, but, (begrudgingly) they are highly effective. (trying to stir the pot) How do you think you guys would fair against them?

Williams : Number one? Haha, that’s definitely debatable. Double O and I are ready for them. The KGB have held the SWAT World Tag Team Championships long enough. They’re no slouches, a win over Dylan Black and El Combatiente proves that, but that gold would look so much better around the waists of the 2020 XHF Network’s Best Stable, The ReVenants.

Soutter : Well, (still trying to stir the pot) That might be able to be arranged.

Williams : A gift wrapped rimjob from Linda? Mad Dog, you shouldn’t have!

Soutter : You know. In the old days, this Suite was a place for the talent to get over, for us to showcase them, and sprinkle a little Suit dust on them. I’d be very tolerant and gladly try and help them shine. Then turkeys want to take liberties. Thinking they are safe here and can disrespect me. Caffrey tried it, trying to conduct an interview with him on here was like pulling teeth, he took liberties and disrespected me also. Only difference was, he did it from the safety of that rampway up there, knowing not to get in the ring with me face to face and do so. If he had, he woulda suffered the same comeuppance you are.

Williams : Oh yeah? What’s that?

Soutter : THIS!

[WHAM! Soutter clocks Keith and a brawl erupts, the two duking it out and the couch is knocked over. The crowd are on their feet and Soutter starts choking Keith, he has snapped, Oxford Osland comes out, slides into the ring and double ax handles Soutter. Osland and Keith then start laying the boots to Suit. They together pick the Founder up and drill him with a double Rock Bottom and then more vicious stomps.

The ring then fills with a bevy of officials and refs. And The ReVenants cockily head to the back, pleased with their beat down of the Big Bad Bustling Bandit.]

[Rayzor]

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS?


..

.....

.......

..........


[We see Rayzor standing in the back at catering. Looking at a table of food, ham, potatoes, chips and so on.]

Rayzor: Seriously, what in the ever loving fuck is this?. Is someone trying to poison me?.. You!



Rayzor: Yes you.. who the hell else would I be talking to?.. Forget that, I have a question for you.. you ready?.. Hey, put your damn phone down for two seconds big guy. You work for SWAT, and therefor you work for me. Do you have any idea who I am?. I could have you not only fired, but I could have you disappear. Now, listen closely... 

WHAT... THE... FUCK.... IS.... THIS.... SHIT..... ON......THIS.... TABLE...???

[The Crew member opens his mouth to speak]

Rayzor: shut the hell up. I don't want to hear it. This is garbage... I know that I shouldn't expect more from this dog shit in New York. But come on.. I am a physical specimen, pound for pound the best wrestler to ever come out of Canada, the best to ever come out of North America, hell.. I am the best pound for pound wrestler in the world and you expect me to eat this shit?. I wouldn't feed it to my dog. Would you let your mother eat this?. Have some respect and get some world class food in here.

[The Crew member runs off as people walk around in the back as Rayzor turns to the camera and starts walking around.]

Rayzor: Sheep, that's all everyone is... Sheep. It's up to you to choose if you want to be a sheep, or if you want to be the wolf... who feeds on the sheep. Now, while that idiot runs around trying to gather up something to please me.. he's scared, he's worried... he doesn't know what to do. Just like everyone else in that Rumble match tonight. While they are all running around like scared little sheep, the big bad wolf will enter the ring and feed... feed on all the other as I eliminate them one, by one.. over... and.... over. Until I am the last man standing. SWAT got a gift with myself signing here in 2020.. brought some excitement to this dead ass place. I came in with a flurry, beating people and teams left and right. One after another... Sadler and I dominated.. and then I realized that I didn't need that useless Brit, So I kicked his ass to the curb.. he's a weak sheep that doesn't have it anymore. I should take that title from him and throw it in the trash. So, Sadler.. if you are dumb enough to waddle your ass out to that ring tonight and still be in it until I arrive, or if I am already there destroying others when you arrive... I will bloody you, I will destroy you, I will end your career for good and eliminate you. See you soon MATE... and for the rest of you sheep.. this WOLF is hungry...

[Walking past the camera and towards the ring as the scene fades.]

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back folks. What a night! How about that, a new Amazons Champion. Linda and Rios meeting in the final, and NOW! THE ROYAL RUMBLE!!!

Frank Salazar : The following contest is a Royal Rumble! Every two minutes a new member will be added to the rumble, the only way to be eliminated is over the top rope and both feet touch the floor.

Andrew Fulton : Yes yes, Frank, We all know! Let’s get this party started!

Frank Salazar : Introducing the person who drew number one …… hailing from Raleigh, North Carolina, coming in at 6’3 and 263lbs …. THE UNIVERSAL SIN CHAMPION! THE PARAGON OF SLEAZE!!! KEITH_WILLIAMS!!!

"When the Levee Breaks" by Led Zeppelin plays and The Paragon of Sleaze makes his way out to boos as well as cheers. Ignoring the reaction of the fans, Keith heads into the ring and looks around confidently, no selling the number one draw and in all his Sleazeball glory.

Frank Salazar : And introducing the man who drew number two ….

Nimbooda Nimbooda hits and Rajiv drives down to the ring in his taxi cab. He gets out and stands on the roof and poses for the fans then runs down the bonnet and sommersaults over the ropes into the ring.

Jeremy Tucker : Keith Williams is number one! I don’t believe it! And Rajiv two! Is he cleared to wrestle after Rally gave him 3rd degree burns ruining his big moment and debut of a new gimmick?

Andrew Fulton : Rally did him a favor, now he is back driving the cabs where he belongs, and as for cleared to wrestle? What does it matter. Keith is going to heave him over before ….

[Keith Williams grabs the scarred Rajiv Khan as he poses for the fans and hurls him over the top rope.]

Andrew Fulton : …. I can finish this sentence.

Frank Salazar : Rajiv Khan has been eliminated.

Jeremy Tucker : I fear Rajiv will never be the same since that rib of Rally went horribly wrong.

Andrew Fulton : After that elimination? Everything looks back to normal to me Jerry.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 3 ….. MAD DOG PAUL SOUTTER!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Unbelievable! Keith looks shocked! They JUST tussled on Suits Suite … and now … now we got us a show down!

Andrew Fulton : Keith will send the Mad Dog over the top and to the pound like he just did Rajiv. Suit is more Old Yella today than a Mad Dog.

Jeremy Tucker : Soutter runs into the ring and he and Keith start duking it out, big lefts and rights, Soutter grabs Keith and hoists him out over the top rope!

Andrew Fulton : No! Keith holds on and skins the cat back in!

Jeremy Tucker : I thought he was gone then! So did Paul. He is looking to the ramp for who is number 4. Keith comes up behind him and a big low blow! Suit goes down crumbles and Keith starts stomping him as the countdown clock kicks back in.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 4 ….. Pretty Boy Peter Boyd!

Andrew Fulton : Who the fuck is this guy? Is he from Japan or Philly or something?

Jeremy Tucker : I have no idea. Keith see’s Pretty Boy slide into the ring and grabs him, and immediately throws him over the top! That’s two eliminations from Keith!

Andrew Fulton : He hates a Pretty Boy! Especially an inept one like that who can be taken out so easily. So do I!

Jeremy Tucker : Soutter back up and grabs Keith and lands a big back breaker to the knee. Grabs him by the throat choking him over his knee, but Keith counters kneeing The Founder in the skull.

Andrew Fulton : Go Keith! Get him out of there!

Jeremy Tucker : They keep fighting and the countdown clock kicks back in …

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 5 ….. Psychotic Goth!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Wow! Here comes Goth! He has got to be spewing with such an early draw.

Jeremy Tucker : He is a mad man, and will plow thru any in his way, friends, foe, he has no friends!

Andrew Fulton : Goth runs in and grabs Soutter and Keith and double noggin knockers their heads together.

[The three then proceed to beat the tar out of each other, whenever two are facing off , the third coming in and getting the advantage before the countdown clock kicks in again.]

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 6 ….. The Cutest Buddhist Jonnie Valentine!!!

Jeremy Tucker : The new Commiss is number six! Tough draw but if anyone can win from this early, he can,

Andrew Fulton : He couldn’t assign himself a better number?

[Jonnie slides into the ring and Goth charges him and dives on him and starts wailing on him with reckless abandon. Jonnie rolls out of it and he jockeys Goth to the corner and starts ramming his head into the top turnbuckle for a count of ten while the fans count a long.]

Jeremy Tucker : (counting with them) Seven, Eight, Nine, TEN!!!

Andrew Fulton : Big move right from 1982.

Jeremy Tucker : Keith and Suit continue to brawl in the other corner, Jonnie comes over and helps Suit and they both start trying to double team Keith out of there, Goth comes across and tries helping them also, Keith outnumbered 3 to 1 and clinging on for dear life.

Andrew Fulton : (shouting) Remember when Jonnie screwed you GOTH?!

[Goth hears him and flips, and moves from helping them to attacking Valentine, and once again, its Goth Vs Jonnie and Keith Vs Suit.]

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 7 ….. Pequerro Dinosauro!!!

Jeremy Tucker : The SWAT TV Champ is in the house!

Andrew Fulton : Little guys like these never last in these rumbles Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : That’s yesterdays wrestling world, today it doesn’t matter if they are big or small or man or woman even, only if they can GO!

Andrew Fulton : Says_you!

[Dino charges into the ring and bee lines right for Keith Williams and unleashes a bevy of strikes at him. ]

Jeremy Tucker : The Paragon of Sleaze has the whole ring wanting a piece of him in some way.

Andrew Fulton : They know he is a threat and they are jealous of him Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : He just assaulted Suit, along with Osland, and the ReVenants have heat with Dino and Valentine … Goth just hates everyone.

Andrew Fulton : I wonder if Valentine got that rectum bleach?

Jeremy Tucker : Will you!

[Dino and Keith now brawling, Soutter and Goth and Valentine in a three way brawl.]

Andrew Fulton : Three veterans there with no love lost for each other. Come on Keith! Toss that masked freak out of there!

Jeremy Tucker : Soutter and Jonnie double Irish Whip Goth to the ropes, and he bounces off and double clotheslines them both, then roars in an ancient dialect!

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 8 …… Jesse Jamestar!!!

Andrew Fulton : The NPW rep and member of the Syndicate!! Making his SWAT debut! I like this guy Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Me too. He seems to have it all, I think he could be a smoky to take this one out. Even from this top ten entrant number.

[Jesse heads into the ring, and he sizes up all the big names in the ring, and Goth heads right for him, the pair of them chest to chest.]

Crowd : Goth is Gonna kill you!

[Jesse and Goth start brawling, punch for punch, neither man giving an inch, the crowd is enthralled, and Soutter and Jonnie are both leaning on the ropes chatting and watching also. Keith see’s everyone into this and grabs Dino and whips him into both of Jesse and Goth, breaking up the showdown and ruining the good time.]

Andrew Fulton : The crowd are screaming at Keith, I think he had every right to do that, they should be watching him, not Goth and some NPW’er.

Jeremy Tucker : NPW are our brother fed! We are interlocked with them.

Andrew Fulton : No shit, they just took our Amazons belt, what next?

Jeremy Tucker : Suit and Jonnie shake their heads at the heat machine Keith, and head over to him and start double teaming him, the two veterans pounding the Man with the Plan.

Andrew Fulton : Suit always has kissed Valentines ass and favoured him, now he is coincidentally Commish? It stinks man! Really smells!

Jeremy Tucker : Valentine was appointed because the board where sick and tired of this crap with Armand and Angela and their one ups man ship with our shares.

Andrew Fulton : Who do you think the mystery buyer is of Angela’s after the match?

Jeremy Tucker : I don’t know.

Andrew Fulton : Well, whoever they are, they saved her some face and losing ‘em all for nothing to the Bandits, so she can sell them and thank her lucky stars to get the pay off and not be left with nothing.

Jeremy Tucker : She bleeds SWAT and was gracious enough to put up the prize money for this tourney after Zoran left us 40 mil lighter! She deserves some respect.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 9 …… Rayzor FX!!!

Andrew Fulton : Here comes the Legend!

[Rayzor comes down to the ring but instead of getting in the ring, he joins the commentary booth.]

Rayzor : Wow, we sure have us a ring a ding ding here boys.

Jeremy Tucker : You’re meant to, you know, get in there with them.

Rayzor : All in good time my man. We still have what, 21 more entrants to come, the night is yet young.

Andrew Fulton : Great to see you Ray. Take your time man.

Jeremy Tucker : Shut up Kiss Azz.

[The guys in the ring ignore Rayzor over on commentary and keep fighting it out. Keith is now once more brawling with Soutter. Jonnie and Dino and teaming up on Goth and Jesse is picking his spots, moving over to help Keith against The Suit.]

Andrew Fulton : So Ray. Who is your pick to win this shin dig?

Rayzor : Hello. You’re sitting right next to him.

Jeremy Tucker : Me?

[Fulton and Ray together cuff the back of Tuckers head.]

Andrew Fulton : Tell us what happened to your tag team with RDS Ray?

Rayzor : Well, its simple really. He just can’t cut it anymore. He was an anchor around my neck, holding me back. Look at me, I am in the best condition of my life, and he is half assing it, putting in little to no effort and that resulted in me losing. ME! I don’t lose! Especially not because of some has been who can’t cut it any more screwing things up. So, I took out the trash and ….

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 10 …. RDS2020!!!!

[The crowd explode, having heard everything Rayzor was saying, and RDS was hearing it too and he runs at the commentary booth and spears over it taking out Rayzor and sending them both careening into the safety barrier. RDS then picks up Rayzor and rolls him into the ring.]

Jeremy Tucker : Karma biting Rayzor right on the butt there.

Andrew Fulton : Butt?

Jeremy Tucker : This is a family show.

Andrew Fulton : Could have fooled me.

[Rayzor and RDS now duking it out in the ring, it’s getting quite crowded in there, we also have Jonnie now fighting Keith, Goth now brawling with Jesse. And Dino and Soutter are battling it out in the other corner.]

Jeremy Tucker : Eight men in the ring, only two eliminated so far, still 20 to come. Who will be next? To enter and who will be next to leave?

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 11…. JOSPEH MACK!!!!

[Mack runs down to the ring and slides in and goes right after Jesse Jamestar, trying to muscle him out. Dino tries to help and so too does Jonnie. Jesse is hanging on, he has his legs around the ropes and isn’t going anywhere, but J_Mac keeps pummelling him, he drops off the ropes and to the apron, but rolls back into the ring.]

Andrew Fulton : Close call there for Jesse.

Jeremy Tucker : RDS now brawling with Soutter. Goth and Keith still duking it out. Rayzor comes up behind RDS, grabs him and sends him sailing over the top rope.

Frank Salazar : RDS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Yes! Great work Rayzor! I am loving this guy!

Jeremy Tucker : You would.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 12…. BLAZE FEYA!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Oh Yes! Go Blaze baby!

Jeremy Tucker : Restrain yourself Fulton.

Andrew Fulton : I can’t help it, she is just so ….. (moans inaudibly)

[Blaze hits the ring a ball of fire, hitting Gores on everyone.]

Jeremy Tucker : Gore on Valentine!

Andrew Fulton : Gore on Soutter!

Jeremy Tucker : Gore on DINO!

Andrew Fulton : Gore for Goth! Also, it’s called the ‘Torn’ Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : We aren’t viewing move sets in this cluster mate, just good old-fashioned brawling and throwing people over the top rope.

Andrew Fulton : And … Torn’s.

Jeremy Tucker : TORN FOR KEITH WILLIAMS! And look at him after coping it, he is looking up at Blaze like he is in love.

Andrew Fulton : Aren’t we all? Rayzor grabs Blaze from behind, having enough of these ‘Torn’s’ and ‘women in his match’ and throws her straight out over the top!

Frank Salazar : Eliminated from the match … BLAZE FRE ….

Jeremy Tucker : No! She clung onto the top rope and has flung herself back into the ring.

Andrew Fulton : Premature elimination by Frankie.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 13…. Armand von Krauss!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Here comes AVK! He looks focused, he slowly enters the ring, and he goes right after Valentine.

Andrew Fulton : No love lost between these two legends. Armand is jacked at him being appointed Commiss, and I don’t blame him, he slid into Zorans office and was doing a fine job.

Jeremy Tucker : Slid in self-appointed!

Andrew Fulton : Whatever it takes Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Goth and Dino are now working together, they have garnered some respect for each other after their tussles here in SWAT and now are taking it to Rayzor, the big man reeling.

Andrew Fulton : J_Mac and Jesse continue to fight it out, they are big rivals in NPW and continuing that battle here tonight in the Amazons Arena.

Jeremy Tucker : Blaze is paired off with Suit and they are having a chop off. Wooo!

Andrew Fulton : Watch it Paul you fn’ creep! Keep your hands off them babies!

[Fulton whips off his headset and grabs a chair and runs to the ring and throws it to Blaze. Blaze catches it and has it held above her head. Rayzor hits a big boot on Goth, then picks up Pequerro Dinosauro in a gorilla press and throws him towards and over the top rope, but Dino as he is floating over, intercepts the Blaze chair shot at Suit with his feet, and sort of surfs it down to the outside, landing both feet on the CHAIR, not the FLOOR!]

Jeremy Tucker : What the hell was that? He floated down on the chair and landed with his feet on it and not the outside! Dino is still in this!

Andrew Fulton : (putting his headset back on) That idiot! That chair was for Blaze! Not him!

Jeremy Tucker : Stay out of this match or I will have you removed from here.

Andrew Fulton : You and who’s army?

Jeremy Tucker : Well, the Commiss is you know, right in there.

[Valentine glares down at Fulton]

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 14…. Hehe!!!!

Andrew Fulton : It’s one of the clowns …. No! Its BOTH OF THE CLOWNS!

[We see Hehe and Haha come waddling down to the ring, they enter the ring and go instantly to Armands aide.]

Jeremy Tucker : What’s this? Both of them?

Andrew Fulton : Appears HaHa cant wait to enter and wants in right now with Hehe..

Jeremy Tucker : Is that allowed?

Andrew Fulton : It is now.

Jeremy Tucker : No it isn’t. Look at Valentine, He is over there reading the riot act to them for coming out together, and he has just ordered them OUT OF THE RUMBLE!

Andrew Fulton : He can’t do that!

Jeremy Tucker : He just did!

[HeHe and HaHa charge Valentine in a rage and he double back body drops the pair out over the top rope!]

Andrew Fulton : This is Bullshit!

Frank Salazar : HeHe and HaHa are both eliminated!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Armand runs at Valentine and He gets back body dropped also! WOWEE! No! The clowns stop him from coming over the top rope and push him back into the ring. Get them out of here!

[Security does just that, heading down en’ masse and escorting both HeHe and HaHa back to the back.]

Andrew Fulton : Wow. That was abuse of power.

[Everyone in the ring was watching on, and Jesse Jamestar comes up behind Valentine and sends him over the top rope.]

Frank Salazar : Jonnie Valentine is eliminated!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Wow! Jonnies gone! Care of JJ. Jesse Jamestar.

[Valentine is puffing like Hogan and calls for a mic.]

Jonnie Valentine : Jesse Jamestar. You just put your hands on an official! I AM THE Commissioner of this place! So …. (vince voice) YOU’RE FIRED!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : He doesn’t even work here!

[Jesse is telling him that himself also, from behind, J_Mac hoists Jesse out over the top.]

Frank Salazar : JESSE JAMESTAR IS ELIMINATED!!!!

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 16 …. DEATH TRAP!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Yes! Here comes DT! He runs in the ring and clotheslines Goth, then Keith, then Dino. Rayzor steps up to him and gets in his face, standing over him. OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY BY DEATH TRAP ON BIG RAYZOR SENDS THE SEVEN FOOTER OUT AND OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!

Crowd : Holy Shit!!! Holy Shit!!!!

Frank Salazar : RAYZOR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Everyone wants to be a hero. Ray will get his on Death Trap.

Jeremy Tucker : Who we got left in this thing? People are dropping like flies. We got Keith Williams. Blaze Freya. The first women to ever enter a SWAT Rumble. Pequerro Dinosauro and Goth! AVK, J_Mac and Paul Soutter!

[Keith sees an opening and sends Paul Soutter sailing over the top rope.]

Andrew Fulton : Nope! Not Suit. Not any more.

Frank Salazar : Paul Soutter has been eliminated!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : That’s THREE eliminations so far for Keith. And he was number ONE!

Andrew Fulton : He IS number ONE, in my book.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 17 …. “The Big Deal” EDDIE D!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Here comes The Big Deal! Eddie is the biggest man in this.

Andrew Fulton : Now that Suit is gone, yes, he is. I don’t see anyone being able to get this monster out over the top rope. He is massive and BORN for Rumbles!

Jeremy Tucker : Eddie enters and goes right to work teaming with Armand and helping him as he was fighting Goth, the pair of them double teaming Goth. Dino runs over and helps Goth and its two on two. KGB vs Goth and The TV Champ.

Andrew Fulton : Death Trap and Keith are duking it out and Keith looks real spent after being number one, the fresher DT taking it to him, but Keith has studied Rumbles and wrestling his whole life and is not going anywhere.

Jeremy Tucker : J_Mac and Blaze are also tussling, going toe to toe, look at Blaze go, she is a credit to the Amazons and what a story it would be if she were to pull this off tonight after being taken out of the tourney by Isabel Rios and then to swoop in on Rally’s spot after he just won the World Belt at Supremacy.

Andrew Fulton : Rally what? Won what?

Jeremy Tucker : You were calling the match. He won the World belt from El Combatiente at Supremacy!

Andrew Fulton : Ohhhh, he did too. This is for the SWAT Fans who don’t get to tune into the rest of the XHF?

Jeremy Tucker : Yes. Exactly.

Andrew Fulton : So, you mean, like Rally? Does he know even?

Jeremy Tucker : YES!

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 18 …. KYLE COPELAND!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Here comes Copeland. Straight from the SWAT Academy.

[Copleand enters the ring and Eddie D charges at him and shoulder blocks him right back over the top to the floor.]

Jeremy Tucker : And right back to the SWAT Academy looks like Fulton.

Frank Salazar : KYLE COPELAND HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

Andrew Fulton : We are getting closer and closer to the business end now Jerry. Goth and Dino now fighting it out, they respect each other but still will fight to be the winner, Blaze is taking Eddie now after she Gore’d him earlier this evening, Death Trap is duking it out still with Keith and Armand von Kraus grabs Joseph Mack and sends him sailing to the outside.

Frank Salazar : JOSPEH MAC IS ELIMINATED!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Great performance by the NPW visitor. He has a big career ahead of him fans.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 18 …. TONG FAIRTEX!!!!

Andrew Fulton : It’s TONG!!! This guy can do it ALL!

Jeremy Tucker : You know it! He enters the ring and goes right after Keith Williams ….

Andrew Fulton : Poor Keith. Why does everyone go for him?

Jeremy Tucker : Cause he is a prick and rubs everyone up the wrong way and has everything coming to him he gets.

Andrew Fulton : Everything like the Universal Sin Championship?

Jeremy Tucker : Everything like them big uppercuts Tong is delivering! Wow!

[Death Trap now is fighting Goth. PD and Blaze battling it out. Eddie and AVK are having a huddle and going over strategy.]

Andrew Fulton : So smart. The Bandits have this is the bag.

Jeremy Tucker : I think you have predicted nearly everyone in it to win it.

Andrew Fulton : Not at all Jerry. I have my money on a select few, but we must still put over the class of all the great entrants in this, must we not?

Jeremy Tucker : Facetious bastard.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 20 …. BRUNO!!!

Andrew Fulton : THE COMPTON COLLOSAL!! What a beast!

Jeremy Tucker : The KGB muscle now makes it 3 of them on the rest, still with Frostbite to enter.

Andrew Fulton : Nothing in the rules against working together Jerry.

[Bruno enters and joins Eddie and AVK and they all start pounding on Pequerro. The three villains stomping on Dino and looking to take him out, but Death Trap charges at them and starts swinging at them like a wild man. Here comes Goth, he is helping too.

Jeremy Tucker : Now its three on three and the Bandits are reeling. Blaze, Tong and Keith all fighting in a neutral corner.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 21 …. FROSTBITE!!!

Andrew Fulton : YES! No more 3 on 3 now! Frostbite runs in and he joins AVK, Eddie and Bruno and now there is four of them! KILL EM!

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap is fighting them off, as is Dino and Goth but weight of numbers is too much, and the Bandits are having their way with DT, Goth and Dino!

Andrew Fulton : Blaze is still fighting Keith, and he appears to be loving every second of it. Lucky bastard.

Jeremy Tucker : Tong comes over and evens the numbers and now its 4 on 4 and once again, the KGB is retreating. Goth grabs Bruno and he tosses him right out over the top rope, then roars in an ancient dialect!

Frank Salazar : BRUNO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

Andrew Fulton : Goth is a machine! The guy is capable of winning this you know Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Oh, I know. And is that ‘another pick’ for you?

Andrew Fulton : Well, he could do it.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 22 …. HNDRXX!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Man, I like this guy, he has a dream number and what a way to make his mark in SWAT it would be if he were to go all the way here tonight!

Andrew Fulton : Not gonna happen Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : You never know. HNDRXX starts fighting Tong. The two of them brawling in the corner, as Blaze is now trying to force the TV Champ Dino over the top, he is hanging on tight though, Blaze is having a real crack at this.

Andrew Fulton : She is the best in the business Jerry. Now her focus is completely on SWAT, watch for this to be HER year!

Jeremy Tucker : DT and AVK are battling it out, Jonnie announced earlier they will meet at Battleground in Memphis next show.

Andrew Fulton : Who cares about Battleground, this is the Royal Rumble!

Jeremy Tucker : Frostbite and Eddie go over and join Armand. The three of them hammering on Death Trap. He is fighting them off but getting overwhelmed, Goth and Dino run over and join him. Now its three on three again. Blaze and Keith now battling it out again. Looks like they both are just treading water, waiting to pick their spots.

Andrew Fulton : I call that foreplay Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : HNDRXX joins in the fight with Blaze and Keith trying to throw Keith over, and Keith clobbers him out of there. Blaze then smashes HNDRXX also.

Andrew Fulton : They don’t want no threesome.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 23 …. Phantam Fairtex!!!


Jeremy Tucker : PHANTAM!!!

Andrew Fulton : Phantam runs down and joins Tong and they both are going to work on Keith Williams. Keith is copping it from the both of them, and no one looks interested in helping him, Blaze moves over and starts fighting it out with HNDRXX.

Jeremy Tucker : Eddie, Armand and Frostbite move over to DT. It’s Three on one, and they are taking it to him, Death Trap wont give up though and keeps trying to fight off all three. Weight of numbers see’s them beat him down and stomp on him like savages.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 24 …. Benjamin 'Been Jamin' Bolt!!!

Andrew Fulton : It’s the Buffalo Soldier!

Jeremy Tucker : He charges the ring, does a Reggae dance, and then Eddie D promptly clotheslines him right over the top rope!

Frank Salazar : Benjamin Bolt has been Eliminated!

Andrew Fulton : No woman no cry.

Jeremy Tucker : What?

Andrew Fulton : I don’t know why I even said that.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 25 …. Mohammad Khan!!!

Jeremy Tucker : The Indian Prince comes down to the ring, minus Sabu his elephant.

Andrew Fulton : Indian jobbers only get a proper entrance if in the first two in the match.

Jeremy Tucker : Mohammad swaggers down to the ring, he is not used to making his way down there of his own accord without Sabu, but he manages, enters the ring, and then tell the Amazons crowd this is not fair he didn’t get his ride to the ring, and Blaze running dropkicks him out over the top rope, then tells him ride himself to the back!

Frank Salazar : Mohammad Khan has been Eliminated!!!

Andrew Fulton : That’s how you do it!

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 25 …. Tuxedo Mask!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Tuxedo Mask runs down and joins the fray. We got still in the ring ; Keith Williams, Psychotic Goth, Pequerro Dinosauro, Blaze Freya, Armand von Krauss, Death Trap, Eddie D, Tong Fairtex, Frostbite, HNDRXX, Phantam and Tux!

Andrew Fulton : No! Cut that! HNDRXX just got taken the fuck out by Frostbite! He is in career best form Frosty, he loves that gold and he NEEDS that gold! HNDRXX just was in the way, nothing personal.

Jeremy Tucker : Tux is duking it out with Phantam. Frosty Armand and Eddie still working together, not working over Pequerro. Death Trap glares at them and runs to PD’s aid. Man, Death Trap hates the Bandits.

Andrew Fulton : Well, we hate HIM too!

Jeremy Tucker : We?

Andrew Fulton : WE!

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 27 …. ERIC DANE!!!

Jeremy Tucker : DANE! DANE IS IN THE RUMBLE!

Andrew Fulton : HE IS THE MYSTERY MAN!

Jeremy Tucker : The NPW Double Crown Champ is here is SWAT!

Andrew Fulton : He was anyway.

Jeremy Tucker : But in a managerial capacity. Now he is in the ring, this explains why he wasn’t there for Graysie in her No man’s Land match.

Andrew Fulton : Well, his matches > Her matches.

Jeremy Tucker : Says you.

Andrew Fulton : And him.

Jeremy Tucker : Dane walks down to the ring and enters and Goth charges him and Dane catches him with a knee to the gut. Goth is fearless! He will take on ANYONE!

Andrew Fulton : No brain, no pain.

Jeremy Tucker : Dane clobbers away at Goth now, and Armand , Eddie and Frosty waylay more on Death Trap. Dino back to help DT against the KGB. Blaze and Keith are still tussling. And Team Fairtex run in and give DT and Dino the number advantage.

Andrew Fulton : Dane grabs Tux and just hurls him out. The Fuck Out!

Frank Salazar : TUXEDO MASK IS ELIMINATED!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Dane making short work of the Tuxedo One.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 28 …. Chad Blankes!!!

Andrew Fulton : It’s Chad! He’s 28. That leaves Osland at 30 and one more. We are really getting to the nitty gritty here.

Jeremy Tucker : Chad runs down and as he enters is booted the fuck back out by Armand von Krauss. With a killer jumping roundhouse kick that sends him right back over the top.

Frank Salazar : CHAD BLANKES IS ELIMINATED!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Armand and Frosty battling Team Fairtex. Goth now going to work on Blaze.

Jeremy Tucker : Keith and Dino now fighting it out, Keith is getting the better of it, but here comes Dane and he clobbers Keith and starts smashing him with big forearms strikes.

Andrew Fulton : EDDIE D LINES UP TEAM FAIRTEX AS THEY ARE FIGHTING ARMAND AND FROSTY AND DOUBLE CLOTHESLINES BOTH OUT OF THE RING!!!

[The crowd pop huge as Eddie takes out both of Team Fairtex]

Frank Salazar : TONG AND PHANTAM FAIRTEX ARE BOTH ELIMINATED!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Eddie is a BEAST! We are down to only ; Keith, Goth, Pequerro Dinosauro, Blaze, Armand, Death Trap, Eddie D, Frostbite and Eric Dane!

Andrew Fulton : What Star power!

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 29 …. Killer Craig Keane!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Killer Craig runs down to the ring and as he flips over the top rope into the ring Pequerro Dinosauro grabs him and uses his momentum and sends him sailing right over the opposite side of the rings ropes to the outside.

Frank Salazar : Killer Craig Keane is ELIMINATED!!!

Andrew Fulton : That’s it! Only Oxford to come!

Jeremy Tucker : He won this last spot fair and square. It’s been a long night for him waiting to get in there.

Andrew Fulton : It’s the end of the road, and he is ready to reap the rewards.

Frank Salazar : Entering at number 30 … THE UNBELIEVABLE … OXFORD OSLAND!!!

[Oxford runs down to the ring and just as Keith was hanging off the top ropes care of Goth, Osland sends Goth sailing over the top!]

Frank Salazar : GOTH IS ELIMINATED!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : 9 people left! Credit to Goth, he was here since number 5.

Andrew Fulton : 5? Keith has been there since ONE!

[Keith and Osland grab Blaze and heave her over the top.]

Frank Salazar : BLAZE FREYA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Keith and Osland just took out Freya! Keith has been waiting since number ONE for his ReVenants tag team partner Osland to hit the ring at 30. Now, there is no stopping them the way they are celebrating.

[The ReVenants are hugging, thrilled with their elimination of Blaze and Keith lasting to Osland entering, and Pequerro double drop kicks both out over the top rope and out of there!]

Frank Salazar : The ReVenants! Oxford Osland and Keith Williams have been ELIMINATED!!!!

[The crowd is going wild. The TV Champ Pequerro just took out BOTH ReVeanants!]

Andrew Fulton : I cant believe it! Keith and Osland are out!

Jeremy Tucker : Got too cocky and took their eye off the ball. Anything can happen in a rumble.

Andrew Fulton : Who’s left Jerry?

Jeremy Tucker : We got Pequerro Dinosauro, Armand, Death Trap, Eddie D, Frostbite and Eric Dane.

Andrew Fulton : Look at them, taking sides right here. The KGB. Armand, Eddie and Frosty all lining up to face off with Pequerro Dinosauro, Dane and Death Trap.

Jeremy Tucker : Three on Three, once again. Dane came to Dino’s aid earlier … O Oh OHHHHH … DANE AS THEY WERE FACING OFF THREE ON THREE JUST GRABBED PEQUERRO DINOSAURO AND THREW HIM OUT OVER THE TOP ROPE!

Andrew Fulton : Dane then moves across the ring, that shit eating grin on his face saying I just screwed you all. As he lines up with Eddie, Armand and Frosty, and its 4 on one with Death Trap left with the KGB and Dane.

[Armand reaches in his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper and Eddie bends over and Armand puts the contract on his back and Dane grabs the pen and signs it.]

Jeremy Tucker : HE IS IN THE KGB!

Andrew Fulton : What a great fit!

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap is in a very bad spot here. Its 4 on 1!

Andrew Fulton : He’s fucked!

Jeremy Tucker : All four of the KGB run at DT and start clobbering on him, he squeezes thru them in defence mode, and makes it to the other side of the ring. Frostbite runs at hm and Death Trap sends him sailing over the top. Its Three no=w to One!

Frank Salazar : FROSTBITE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

Andrew Fulton : No!!!! Get him Armand!!!!

[Armand runs at Death Trap now and he also is sent over the top rope.]

Frank Salazar : ARMAND VON KRAUSS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Wowee! Its down to three. Death Trap. Eddie and Eric Dane!

Andrew Fulton : Just Eddie, Dane and DT!

Jeremy Tucker : That’s what I just said!

[Eddie and Dane charge at Death Trap. DT blocks a shot of Eddie and blocks a shot of Dane, but then gets overwhelmed and the two Bandits go to town on him.]

Andrew Fulton : Kill Him! We got this in the bag!

Jeremy Tucker : Famous last words my friend.

Andrew Fulton : Eddie and DT start brawling in the corner and walking up the turnbuckle as they do so.

Jeremy Tucker : Dane runs at them, he is going to push both out ,,, NO! He runs up the ropes, grabs DT and BRAINBUSTER TO THE OUTSIDE! STAR DRIVER 3!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Dane just took bullet for the KGB and he and Death Trap are eliminated!

Frank Salazar : ERIC DANE AND DEATH TRAP ARE ELIMINATED!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap and Dane are laid out on the floor, That was a killer brutal move! They haven’t budged.

Andrew Fulton : Eddie is looking down on them, he has won! EDDIE D WINS THE RUMBLE!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Go Eddie! Go Eddie! Go Eddie!

Frank Salazar : WINNER OF THE MATCH! THE BIG DEAL! EDDIE D!!!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : I called it Jerry!

Jeremy Tucker : You called the whole field! Well done Eddie! What a win!

Andrew Fulton : Death Trap and Dane have still not moved on the outside Jerry. They are out of it!

Jeremy Tucker : They are in No Man’s Land out there! Way to go Eddie! We’ll be back shortly folks with the final of the tourney, Linda Vs Rios!

[SWAT Team]

[Ten minutes after the Royal Rumble ended and Angela arrives at the SWAT Amazons Arena boiler room. She is accompanied by Team Fairtex, The Hired Killers, and Psychotic Goth and Vampira as they enter the boiler room which is dark except for some lights.]

Vampira: "I don't trust this person."

CEO Angela: "I agreed to meet him and I'm going to see what he has to offer for the stock."

Voice: "I see you arrived on time Angela."

CEO Angela: "I always keep my word."

Voice: "That's your reputation."

CEO Angela: "So what's this offer you want to make for my shares of the stock."

Voice: "Like I mentioned I'm offering you a cool $50 million dollars for your stock. You make a profit for your stock and you recoup your losses with the XWCW and your bailing Bruno out. It's a win win situation for you."

Psychotic Goth: "Don't accept the offer CEO Angela. I'll beat Armand von Krauss down and I'm going to cripple him forever and ever until his career is over."

(He roars in a Seneca dialect.)

CEO Angela: "Let me handle this Psychotic Goth."

Psychotic Goth: "You don't think I can win. You chose me to be your champion but you don't think I can win."

CEO Angela: "This is a more than fair offer, more than I would get for them even IF you won."

Voice: "You do come out on top and so will you Psychotic Goth if you play your cards right. You can still get your hands on the KGB and AVK Psychotic Goth, just without Angela here needing to come out of it with nothing if you fail."

Vampira: "He will NOT FAIL!"

Psychotic Goth: "I don't trust this person. He's working for von Krauss."

Voice: "It's in the contracts, no one with any affiliation to von Krauss can be party to these shares."

Psychotic Goth: "He's been trying to steal and kill people for SWAT stock. Then you suddenly come around and want Angela's shares which is quite a convenience. So reveal who you are and do it now."

(He roars in a Seneca dialect.)

CEO Angela: "I got this Psychotic Goth. I still have distribution rights to SWAT merchandise?"

Voice: "I won't interfere with those deals Angela and I admired the fact you gave the wrestlers a bigger slice of merchandise profits."

CEO Angela: "I believe in fairness unlike other areas."

Voice: "Admirable."

CEO Angela: "So does Team Fairtex get their money back for their stock."

Voice: "That will have to come from you. I am buying these shares from you, not them. What went on between the lot of you with who had what, thats not for me to concern myself with."

Phantam Fairtex: "What about our tag team title match?"

Voice: "That is up to the new Commissioner Jonnie Valentine, I will be yet only a minority owner with this coup."

CEO Angela: "You know Psychotic Goth has evil intentions for Armand after what his henchmen did to his wife."

Voice: "I know and I totally approve of it."

Psychotic Goth: "Then you shall see blood and carnage that will horrify everyone who watches SWAT."

CEO Angela: "I know you want to kill him and his henchmen for what they did to your wife."

Voice: "You are free to do what you like to each other. So what do you say Angela about my offer."

(CEO Angela calmly ponders the offer and the suspense builds and she nods in agreement.)

CEO Angela: "Okay it's a deal."

Voice: "You have the stock?"

CEO Angela: "You have the money?"

[The Voice snaps his fingers and two tough looking men step forward and open up four briefcases before stepping back. Team Fairtex and The Hired Killers go over and start counting the money as the minutes go by and they nod approval. CEO Angela takes the manila envelope and hands it to one of the tough looking men who hand it to him. The tension mounts as the Voice looks over the stock certificates and hands over a manila envelope and the tough looking man hands it to CEO Angela who opens it up and pulls out the contract. She looks over the contract with a sharp eye and looks over the small fine print before nodding approval and she takes a pen out and signs the contract.)

CEO Angela: "We have ourselves a deal."

Voice: "Of course and SWAT shall be saved from Armand von Krauss and you can make all the merchandise your heart desires with no headaches of being CEO or part owner."

CEO Angela: "That's good to hear. It's been good doing business with you Mystery Man."

Voice: "I agree CEO Angela. It's been good doing business with you too."

(They leave the boiler room as the scene slowly fades to black.)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : New Commissioner, amazing Rumble and now the Amazons tournament to top off this amazing event. We’re in front of a social distanced sold out New York crowd. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Andrew Fulton : One minute SWAT is in the grip of a likely KGB hostile takeover and now the leader of The Society is commissioner. I can barely keep track. Bring on the dancing girls…

Linger, by the Cranberries hits and Lucky Linda makes her way down the ramp way, high fiving the fans.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Dublin, Ireland. Coming in at 5’5 and 130 pounds... LUCKY LINDA LA FEY!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Linda is no dancing girl… She’s one of our biggest stars.

Andrew Fulton : I was being flippant and irreverent… It’s kinda what I do here… I’m not a misogynist… I love women, but isn’t supporting as commentator, in the biggest female match on any wrestling calendar, affirmative action enough for one minute? Oh, you think I’m overreacting. Yeah, “Me Too”…”Check your privilege” or whatever the cool kids say these days…

Frank Salazar : Introducing… to complete your main event grand finale, she hails from Ontario Canada and comes in at 5’6 and 161lbs …. Representing Northern Pro Wrestling …. ISABEL RIOS!!!!

The lights dim and then begin to pulse along with the opening guitar riff of ‘Bounce’ by Danko Jones; as the drums hit Rios steps through the curtain, head down, the grappler bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Jeremy Tucker : Here we go folks, as the bell is rung for this one ... Isabel holds out a hand for Linda to shake…. Linda looks out to the crowd for advice on whether to shake it or not …. I think the boos would be advice for Linda not to... Linda shakes it anyway... Looks like an honest handshake... Oh, spoke too soon ... Isabel has twisted the hand up and applies a wrist lock ... Linda edges towards the ropes but Isabel applies the pressure and Linda drops to one knee ... Linda tries again and gets to the ropes this time ... Isabel drops the hold and hits Linda with a knife edge chop …. Linda staggers a pace backwards ... Isabel grabs Linda, spins her around and hits a German Suplex …. Isabel covers ...

… … …1

… … …2

Kick out by Linda!

Andrew Fulton : Isabel grabs an arm while Linda is still down and applies a wristlock …. Linda is suffering … Linda shows great resolve and agility there as she manages to twist and turn her way out from under Isabel... Isabel shouts at the referee and gestures that her hair was pulled to get out of the hold... Linda just laughs at the suggestion as the two women pace around each other...

Jeremy Tucker : Collar and elbow tie up.... Isabel breaks from the clinch and drags Linda down to the mat into an arm bar… Linda looks to have found a way out, but Isabel adjusts the hold and Isabel has Linda face down on the mat in a wristlock now….

Andrew Fulton : Some call it boring going for the same move over and over again, some call it sensible tactics, but the crowd will let them know if they want more variety soon enough...

Jeremy Tucker : The crowd are getting behind Linda now ... Linda looks like she’s powering her way out of the hold ... Isabel feels that she’s losing her grip and switches to a side headlock … Linda lets out a groan of discomfort but has got back to one knee and forced Isabel back up to her feet… Linda walks Isabel into the ropes and Isabel drops the headlock ... The referee calls for a clean break … And gets one… Isabel and Linda circle each other …. Linda shakes out the pain in her wrist and comes straight back at Isabel … Collar and elbow tie up.... And Linda puts Isabel in a wristlock of her own … Isabel curses out loud and the crowd gasp...

Andrew Fulton : Well there’s the product of an expensive Canadian education for you. They swear just like the rest of us, she most likely knows how to translate that into Latin and French if she needed to….

Jeremy Tucker : Where are you getting this imagined history from Andrew? Just because Isabel is from Northern Pro Wrestling doesn’t mean you can make up hateful things about her?

Andrew Fulton : The fans aren’t behind her, the viewers aren’t behind you, and I’ll call it how I see it… I won’t let any fact checking get in the way of how I think about her thank you very much… her views on mumble rap though, that you cannot deny.

Jeremy Tucker : Isabel winces and shouts an insult at Linda …Linda is about to say something back but Isabel manages to free herself with a nice forward roll… Isabel has managed keep Linda’s arm, ended up behind her with a hammer lock applied… Linda tries to grab at Isabel’s head.... Isabel applies more pressure on the arm and Linda winces… Linda reaches down for a leg, but Isabel blocks the attempt... Linda tries to pace her way out of the hold… They circle the ring with Linda still suffering in the hammer lock… Isabel trips Linda and has the hammer lock applied on the mat now… Linda is face down and grimacing… The crowd boo Isabel as the match slows down and Linda is gesturing with her free hand for their support… Isabel lifts herself up in a handstand and brings her knee down hard on Linda’s bent arm … Isabel tells the referee to ask Linda if she quits… The crowd begin to stamp in unison and Linda is responding by banging her foot against the canvas to the same beat and Isabel shouts for them to shut up… Linda twists counter-clockwise out from underneath Isabel and wrenches herself free … Isabel gets back to her feet and applauds Linda for the escape.... Linda shakes the pain out of her arm and comes angrily back at Isabel and they lock up again… Linda slips Isabel into a side headlock… Linda’s got it locked in well .... Isabel drops to one knee as the pressure comes on… Isabel begins to lift Linda off her feet ... But Linda squeezes the hold for all her worth …... Isabel groans from the pain applied and drops to one knee again… Isabel pulls at Linda’s hair to distract her… Lifts her up … Side suplex! …Linda gets back to her feet… Isabel hits her with a ferocious chop and Linda is back down again… Linda arches her back and pops back up to her feet… Great agility… Isabel smiles, looking impressed, and they pace around each other again…

Andrew Fulton : Isabel grabs Linda into a side headlock ... Isabel manoeuvres Linda’s head away from the referee and punches her hard in the face… Linda pops clean out of the headlock and hits the mat hard… Linda rubs her jaw as our referee Miriam Douglass reprimands Isabel… Isabel ignores the reprimand, she is her for business … Linda gets up and runs at Isabel … Isabel throws Linda over with a hip toss … Linda gets up quickly and comes again … Isabel grabs her by the head and snap mares her down … Isabel goes for the rear chin lock but Linda wriggles free … Linda comes back again … running off the ropes this time… Isabel throws down her head and sends Linda skyward… high elevation… and Linda crashes down from that back body drop!!! …Linda holds her lower back, but there’s no keeping her down ... This time Linda runs at her opponent, but stops, miss-foots Isabel and stuns her with a standing dropkick!! … Isabel stumbles back hard into the nearest turnbuckles … Linda steps back a couple of paces and sprints at Isabel in the corner… Running Cannonball!

Jeremy Tucker : Isabel slumps to the floor… Linda is tired but resilient… Linda drags Isabel up from the floor …... Irish whip into the ropes … Isabel comes back at a lick of knots and Linda’s off her feet ... High cross body! And the cover

… … …1

… … …2

KICK OUT!

Linda wastes no time dragging Isabel up and sends her into the ropes again ... Isabel comes back ... Flying forearm from Linda! ...

Andrew Fulton : For my money this is the way Linda needs to play it ... Get Isabel moving around ...No point trying to grapple all day because on this occasion… Isabel seems to be excelling there… much as it pains me to say it…

Jeremy Tucker : Linda drags Isabel up and hits a snap suplex... and covers

… … …1

… … …2

KICK OUT!

Isabel has the presence of mind to put her leg out on the bottom rope ... Linda drags Isabel up sends her again into the ropes… they meet in the centre of the ring?! …Double clothesline!!! ...Both women hit the canvas hard and are barely moving… ouch! …

Andrew Fulton : All credit to them both in there… I would say that if Isabel hadn’t killed that momentum with that clothesline, I think Linda would be wrapping things up about now…

Jeremy Tucker : Linda pulls up Isabel, applying a half-Nelson that she transitions into a bulldog!

Andrew Fulton : Easy girls! Don’t bust those gorgeous faces open now…

Jeremy Tucker : Linda gets up and goes for a chicken wing, but Isabel counters and frees herself… Isabel grabs Linda and sends her into the vertical for a suplex, hold on, she’s adjusting and grabbing both of Linda’s thighs?!...Dives to her butt?!!! KINNIKU BUSTER! (Muscle Buster set up, dropping to the butt instead of falling back) She covers, we could have the pinfall right here!

… … …1

… … …2

… … ..KICK OUT!!!!

Unbelievable; that move could finish off any one; it’s been banned in a lot of feds… Isabel can’t believe it didn’t break Linda’s neck and finish this one… Isabel hooks both legs and covers Linda with extra purpose…

… … …1

… … …2

… … KICK OUT!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Isabel drags Linda up and sends her into the ropes… Isabel throws out an arm, but Linda ducks it and hits the other ropes… Isabel turns to meet her, but Linda baseball slides between her legs and pops up behind her… Linda spins Isabel around and slaps her face… Isabel is stunned as Linda grabs her by the hair and sends her face first into the turnbuckles… Isabel doesn’t even have time to adjust and accept the buckles with her back and hits the top buckle chest first… She staggers back towards the middle of the ring TROUBLE IN PARADISE!!! By Lucky Linda La Fey (Jumping Roundhouse kick) … and she covers… this should be it.

… … …1

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… … KICK OUT!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : These two are giving their all and after a tournament like this I can’t believe they can have much more to give… Linda can’t believe that didn’t finish it…

Andrew Fulton : Isabel has somehow found more energy and gets up first… Isabel drags Linda up, stuns her with a big chop to the chest… and whips her into the rope… Isabel drops her head to send Linda up for the backdrop, but Linda comes to a halt in time, clamps her thighs to the back of Isabel’s head, grips around the waist?! IRISH DESTROYER!!!! (Canadian Destroyer flip over piledriver) ... and covers

… … …1

… … …2

… … Rope break!?!

Jeremy Tucker : Isabel’s right boot is on the bottom rope, such great ring presence to find that last second lifeline of the rope!

Andrew Fulton : They call Linda Lucky, but this Isabel Rios is making her own luck tonight… Linda drags a stunned and tired Isabel up and goes to throw a punch but Isabel just falls to one knee and Linda has to readjust and position Isabel again… Linda grabs Isabel up to two feet again and delivers a Mongolian overhand double chop… and Isabel crumbles under the weight of the blow… Linda drags Isabel back up, steps in beside Isabel for a Russian leg sweep, but Isabel blocks… hits Linda with a back elbow… adjusts and?! …Russian Leg Sweep!! …

Jeremy Tucker : Isabel executed a vicious looking Russian leg sweep of her own there, but Isabel is still down on her back next to Linda… Isabel looks all in, but the leg sweep certainly bought her some time…

Andrew Fulton : Linda clutches the back of her head, her head and neck took a pounding from that Kinniku buster not long ago… Isabel isn’t getting up, but instead shuffles around to be at Linda’s feet… Isabel grabbed Linda by the leg and… Knee bar with Leg scissors!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Linda is suffering, it’s locked in well, but Linda quickly begins to turn the hold over… Isabel tries to stop her by upping the pressure, but Linda grits her teeth and forces her way through it… and now they’re both face down… Linda kicks out with her spare leg and somehow has freed her leg… Linda rises to her feet, grabs Isabel’s scissored legs and?! ….IRISH CLOVERLEAF!!! (Texas Cloverleaf) No one gets out of this, it’s over…

Andrew Fulton : Referee Miriam Douglass is asking the question… Isabel is in agony… Isabel is reaching for the rope just beyond the referee and Referee Douglass tries not to obstruct her efforts… Linda leans back and Isabel cries out loud and thrusts her arm out?!

Jeremy Tucker : Wow… Isabel has the bottom rope in her right hand!!! … the referee is calling for the break… It looked out of reach… Linda can’t believe it… She drops the hold and looks at the referee in disbelief and anger, almost as if she thinks the referee helped her, but it’s clear that she didn’t…

Rally Jackson is seen on the ramp and the crowd give him a mixed reaction as he gets to ring side, his newly rewon SWAT World Heavyweight Belt on his shoulder …

Jeremy Tucker : Rally Jackson? What in the world is he doing here?

Andrew Fulton : He has no love for Linda La Fey after their match recently. I doubt he’s here to wish her “luck”.

Jeremy Tucker : The referee is shouting at Rally Jackson, but he’s telling her he’s just getting a closer look at the action and patronizingly tells her to park her concerns and get back to officiating,.

Andrew Fulton : And we all know how good women are at parking and keeping their knickers on in a crisis…

Jeremy Tucker : Would you stop?! Referee Miriam Douglass is having none of it and shouts at the timekeeper to call security from the back for her as she turns back to the action.

Jeremy Tucker : Linda is shouting at Rally and Rally loves the hate pouring from the ring in his direction… Rally tells her to come out and face him … Linda opens her arms wide and tells him to come in and face her… Isabel has taken advantage of the distraction… Throws the last of her energy into a crucifix pin take down… Linda crashes down with her arms locked…

… … …1

… … …2

… … KICK OUT!!!!

Linda gets back up and her focus is completely back on the task in hand… Linda shuffles across for what looks like a devilishly forceful SUPER KICK, but no! …Isabel dodges the move and slips in behind Linda… She has Linda in reverse DDT position, hooks a leg and...REDTAIL DRIVER! (inverted fisherman brainbuster) Isabel has Linda cradled, we could have the pinfall right here!

The referee counts…

… … …1

… … …2

… … …3!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Security are on the ramp… they’re headed out to try to get Rally to leave as the bell rings to confirm Isabel Rios’ tournament win… It’s a hell of a win… when she hit that finish she had all of Linda’s attention, so it’s clean finish in my book…

Jeremy Tucker : Rally enters the ring as the referee raises Isabel’s hand, but Isabel is exhausted and accepts the hand raise with limited enthusiasm and rolls to the outside and rests her upper body on the ring steps trying to catch her breath… Rally threatens the referee who bails out of there… Referee Douglass tries to drag Linda out of the ring by the leg to the relative safety of the outside but Rally goes to stamp on her hands and Linda is still in there prone and barely moving…

Andrew Fulton : Rally pulls a banana skin from his wrestling trunks… I think the crowd know what’s coming next… Rally lays the banana skin over Linda’s face… admires the positioning and frames his hands as if sizing up a photo angle… leaps up high above her?! LEG DROP!!! …the banana peel is stuck to Rally’s leg and Linda’s nose is bleeding… This is an ugly end to a great match…

Jeremy Tucker : Security guards are in the ring now, but Rally rolls to the far side of the ring laughing his head off… Rally is doubled up holding his guts laughing on the outside as Security confront him and tell him to leave, but just to spite them and make a point he refuses to go…

They are dragging a reluctant Rally past our commentary desk and the fans are giving him a torrent of abuse. I hope you can’t pick this foul language up on my mic… HEY!! What the F-…

Rally Jackson slaps the headphones off of Jeremy Tuckers head in his efforts to fight off security and grabs a spare mic. from the table and turns it on as security begin to get physical again and drag Rally away…

Rally Jackson : Get your stinking hands off me… RADU!!! That was a message for you Radu!!! You think banana peel is funny around scaffolding? You think you know a prank when you see one? You want to end up like Rajiv Khan do ya? Now that… That was the way to commit to a prank. Linda?! Radu?! ELC?! Wanna rib the ribber? Game on!!!

Rally Jackson is forced to move by the struggling security team of 8 guys now, but he clearly hasn’t finished his comments towards Linda. Linda is finally moving again, wiping the blood from her nose, looking dejected and upset at losing the tournament. Security try to get the mic off of him, but he fights back…

Rally Jackson : I said get your damned hands off me! …I haven’t finished… I clearly wasn’t getting through to you Radu, so I will make anyone that allied themselves with you suffer! You want to be the martyr?! You want everything to be about you? I have been busy. I have learned that your weakness is these folks… The fans and the fools on the roster that maintain and expand your ego… We’re teaching you slowly… that only “The Society Rule” around here, literally now thanks to Valentine …that only “I… RIB!”, like it’s a fucking art form by the way …so, Radu!? Linda?! Cop that!!!

Rally throws down the mic. …shrugs off some of the security to give himself a bit of space and does a DX style crotch chop and shouts at Linda to “suck it.”

Andrew Fulton : Well Rally has ruined the climax of what was an otherwise great night of wrestling… I can imagine there will be a few complaints from Linda and probably Isabel Rios too…

Jeremy Tucker : Congratulations to Isabel Rios, but even she doesn’t look that happy about Rally’s after match antics stealing her thunder… Security is finally out here in greater numbers forcing Rally up the aisle, but it’s too little too late…

Andrew Fulton : I guess having a man show up and ruin everything for female wrestlers doing their best at “No Man’s Land”? …that’s a pretty progressive lesson to learn or fucked up metaphor right?! There’s certainly a satirical statement on the industry in there if you want to dig for it…

Jeremy Tucker : I almost miss the old Andrew who told knob gags and propositioned the female talent…

Andrew Fulton : We can see Linda follows up the ramp clutching the back of her head, angry and disappointed… Rally throws abuse at security and the fans… the fans cheer Linda on but there are so many Security bods now that she’ll never get her hands on Rally if that’s her intention…

‘Bounce’ by Danko Jones hits the PA system as Isabel Rios comes away from the ring steps and she accepts the congratulations of the referee humbly as she struggles to stay upright after a long night of wrestling.

Jeremy Tucker : Isabel Rios is heading up the aisle as well and the crowd show her a hunk of respect too… I think we have a standing ovation here!

That’s all we’ve got time for folks, don’t forget to tune in next week as we get to grips with the fallout of this huge event… We’ve been SWAT, we’ve been LIVE from The Amazons Arena, New York, USA… so long everybody.