..::THE XHF NETWORK PRESENTS: SUPREMACY [LIVE]::..
Jan 31, 2021 19:31:58 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Venom š·, and 8 more like this
Post by Dylan on Jan 31, 2021 19:31:58 GMT -5
THE XHF NETWORK PRESENTS
JANUARY 31ST, 2021
LIVE FROM THE SEAWOLF SPORTS COMPLEX IN ANCHORAGE, ALASKA
The opening to "Gravity's Union" by Coheed and Cambria plays as we see a montage of the build up to tonight's event. The many superstars calling each other out for global matches, champions winning titles, challengers calling them out. It's a must-see. We fade into the arena, where tons of fireworks go off! The stage is set for the night! Coheed and Cambria are actually here playing tonight's theme live and the small crowd in attendance are loving it! We cut to the commentary desk as the band plays an instrumental bit.
Hawke: Welcome everyone to what could be the greatest global PPV of the year! Welcome to Supremacy!
Angel: I tell you what Hawke, this card is more stacked then anyone could have hoped for!
Hawke: Normally we'd do a quick rundown of the card, but there's just too much action to list off! So much interfed warfare, feds hosting title matches, the XHF Tag Team Champions Purple Emperors defend the straps in a 3 corners tag match against the Dark Stars and Dark Nova, and in the main event, X*Crown Champion Dylan Black defends his worth in the RAGE IN THE CAGE! This is going to be a show you just don't want to miss!
Angel: I got my booze and I got my spreadsheets. So letās get going with tonightās show-
Voice: Ladies and gentlemen, before we get on with tonightās festivities, lighting the fire tonightā¦ you know them as the most entertaining company in the entire XHF, please welcome the roster of FIRESSIIIIIIIIDEEEEE!
The Seawolf Sports Complex slowly then quickly begins to fill with wrestlers from FIRESIDE. The arenaās lighting reveals that they are spread out throughout the arena, properly socially-distanced and all armed with microphones. Looking around the arena, you can spot XHF stars like Mistress Discipline, Curtis Kanyon, and the FIRESIDE World Champion, Misha Constantine.
Another man walks down the ramp, dressed in his ring gear and carrying one of the XHF Tag Team Championships with him. Itās the owner of FIRESIDE, Anthony Caffrey. He exchanges socially-distanced recognitions with the cheering fans before stepping into the ring.
Anthony Caffrey: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the XHF presents: FIRESIDEās Supremacy!
FIRESIDE fans in attendance roar as the claim. Some fans are a bit more unsure.
Hawke: I must stress, ladies and gentlemen, that is not the name of the show---
Angel: Shh, let him talk!
Anthony Caffrey: If youāve not seen us before, I encourage you to get out from the rock youāre under and watch our show, every third Thursday right here on the Network. But good news: what youāre about to see is a world-class roster, made of brand new stars and those who were underappreciated in their past companiesā¦
Caffrey removes the microphone from his lips to mouth the words ājoin usā directly into the camera, to avoid getting hit with fines for tampering.
Caffrey: ...all assembled with one goal: to entertain you. Tonight, FIRESIDE will kick ass up and down the card to make sure you go home happy!
The crowd cheers in approval.
Caffrey: From top to bottom tonight, our wrestlers, who are just treated so well, will be competing against a rogueās gallery of wrestlers from other companies. While theyāre fighting for pats on the back and dirt from their companies, our wrestlers are fighting for world championship opportunities, to be the next in line to fight Esmur or our reigning champion, Misha Constantine.
Caffrey points to both the challenger and champion before continuing.
Caffrey: But hey, now that Iāve introduced the men and women who will be putting on a show tonightā¦ these men and women are more than capable on the microphoneā¦ letās let them introduce themselves.
The camera pans to a man with a heavy German accent standing in the crowd.
Otto Ritter: My name is Otto Ritter and I come to you representing the greatest promotion in the XHF. Many of you do not know me, but by the end of tonight, you certainly will.
Hawke: This burly German will be taking on Johnny Styler just after our opening contest.
Angel: Where did they find him?
Ritter: I am here to bring wrestling back to its glory and away from fighting bears or cats. No more stupid postmen or giant alien monsters. No more whatever the hell MAJESTY is. Wrestling will be respected and you all will bow to Das Blitzkind!
The crowd boos at the Germanic fun police before the camera captures one of their absolute favorites standing near the top of the stage. Mistress Discipline steps out of line and waves to the raucous crowd with an air of decorum. They respond accordingly, greeting her with loud cheers.
Mistress Discipline: Thank you all for your support. I look forward to representing Fireside and inspiring you all in this event.
A large, muscular man in the front screams like a girl in a horror movie before shouting at the stage "Go Girl Power!"
Discipline: Thank you. I am excited for my match against Ms. Rios. It will be fun to have a woman v woman event be highlighted on the network stage. I am excited to see what new opportunities a match like this will lead to.
She nods and leans back against part of the entranceway. The camera cuts again to the parking lot where a guy riding his motorcycle stops. The bike has different logos, and he is wearing a leather jacket and jeans. He speaks towards the camera. The bike very clearly says the word āSuzukiā.
Daku Suzuki: Why should I have to introduce to you idiots when you know who I am, especially if you have seen me wrestle in Japan before and if you're in a motorcycle club? I don't give a damn on performing for you fans or rather riders from Suzuki, being world champions in motorcycling racing, the name of a motorbike manufacturer should be known, who the hell I am. My whole family runs the Suzuki business along with myself owning a motorcycle club. What a better way to make myself an impact than to perform on the biggest stage of them all and make an impact. A bigger impact than any of you idiots can comprehend in the back and here. I'm the biggest name in XHF and I plan to defeat Deco hands down for the three count because nobody can and will stop me from making an impact for Fireside.
Suzuki drops the microphone on the concrete floor and turns his bike engine on and rides past the parking lot into the arena as the crowd boos. The camera switches elsewhere in the arena to the locker room, where āThe Ungovernableā Hayden Callahan is lacing his boots in preparation for his match with Cross Recoba. He doesnāt even look up at the camera.
Hayden Callahan: Iām not doing Caffreyās segment. Fuck off.
The camera pulls back from the locker room to an interview area. The former XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion known as known as Derrick Lancaster steps forward grabbing a microphone. Grinning easily, he begins to speak.
Derrick Lancaster: Hola boys and girls. XHF Faithful, I am he who is called Derrick Lancaster! For those who don't know me, I may or may not actually be an alien in disguise, have dreams of world conquest, and fancy myself someone who wishes to dethrone a god!
Lancaster passes through the curtains, beginning to walk down the entrance ramp.
Lancaster: For that is what this Hyperion fancies himself. A god amongst men. And for sure, he had the following to back up his claims. His delusions. But look where that got him right? Arrested. Everything he had, lost. Now me? I'm up front with my feelings and thoughts. Always have been. Win or lose, I aim to once and for all, prove Hyperion to be the man he is. My name is Derrick Lancaster. And you have been informed.
With that, he chuckles slightly and drops the microphone.
"Don't Tread on Me" by Metallica plays as former President and current one half of the FIRESIDE Tag Team Champions Curtis Kanyon has a spotlight shine down on him. Red, white, and blue pyro goes off as Curtis poses to the crowd. He enters the ring and grabs a microphone. He taps on it as the crowd dies down.
Curtis: Iām so high, I can hear Valhalla
I am so high, I can hear Valhalla
Oh but Valhalla, no Valhalla don't hear me...
And they say that a hero can save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I'll hold on to the handle of the trident
Watch as we all fly away!
Someone told me that Hype would all save us
But how can that be?
Look what Hype gave us
A world full of killing, and blood spilling,
that World never came!
And they say that a hero can save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I'll hold on to the handle of the trident
Watch as we all fly away!
Curtis drops the microphone as everyone cheers.
Hawke: Was thatā¦ Nickelback?
Angel: No, it was from the Spider-Man soundtrack. Itās in the upper echelon of greatness, just like Kanyon.
The camera pans over away from the fever dream in the ring to MYÅJIN, holding his XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship around his shoulder, running a hand through his golden hair cooly with a charismatic smile.
MYÅJIN: I'd hate to be that guy, but I'm MYOJIN- The XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion. If you all don't know much about me yet, you all will get to know me once I beat WWX's wannabe God tonight and give you all a great match to witness. Blink and you'll miss it.
His fans roar as the cameras pan up to the rafters of the Sea Dog Sportsplex, where a single masked face is close to the camera. There is a single masked face close to the camera. The Nihilist has returned to the global stage.
Esmur: Supremacy. A return to the XHF Network Global stage. How fitting a title for a show in which I will exhibit that exact quality over my competitor. You see, for years we toiled in obscurity and confusion. Mired in a darkness we could not see an end to. Life was meaningless, pointless. A shadow loomed over the men you would come to know as the best tag team of 2019. And all of it was a search, for meaning ... and for God. Any God really, someone to hear our pleas. Until we realized ...
We zoom out, showing him wearing a robe covered in religious iconography.
Esmur: Gods are fictional. Gods don't exist. Men make their own way in this world and use Gods as a tool for justification of their atrocities. Much more sobering to know the truth and bask in the knowledge that the end is the end for all men, and all men become equal. But in this world that isn't the case. And when a new 'God' springs up it is our job to bring them back ... to Earth. Tonight ... Esmur, one half of the Nihilists ... endeavors to save the soul of Misha Constantine. The self-made fiction. To stomp out this arrogant attitude and bring levity ... and CLARITY ... to the Fireside world title. Whether he sees the light and embraces the darkness or not is on him. But by the end of the night. That world title will embrace ... me.
The crowd roars, much to the disapproval of the FIRESIDE World Champion also high up in the rafters on the other side of the arena, Misha Constantine. He is flanked by his girlfriend Liz and her brother, his bodyguard, Johnny Five. Title belt draped across one shoulder and a sour expression on his face, he raises his microphone and waits for the loudly booing crowd to finally quiet down. He stands high above the peasants as a Self Made God.
Misha Constantine: If you're ignorant enough to not know the best title holder in the entire XHF Network already, I don't particularly feel inclined to waste my breath on you explaining much beyond the facts simple enough for you to absorb. My name is Misha Constantine; I am the Self Made God; I am the first, the current, the defending FIRESIDE World Champion; and I am the man who will be stealing the show tonight. Everyone here, and the millions watching at home worldwide, are getting the never before seen treat of a full 30 minutes of me in the ring, where I will beat Gebin down so thoroughly and so overwhelmingly for the duration of our Workhorse Match that he'll be thankful he's wearing a mask to hide his shame. The men following me may as well just go home now, because there will be no topping the performance I'll be giving.
He tosses the microphone aside and the crowd boos even louder. The camera pans back down to the center of the ring, where the FIRESIDE owner stands ready.
Caffrey: Gentlemen, are you ready?
Misha Constantine and Esmur stare down at each other from across the arena, but both give a nod.
Caffrey: THEN LETāS LIGHT A FIRE!
Acting almost in unison, Constantine and Esmur pick up fire-starting devices and hold them close to the XHF Network banners hanging from the ceiling. Slowly and then all at once, the banners are lit ablaze in unison. The camera pops for the sight of the controlled fires high above their heads.
Hawke: FIRESIDE is making a hell of an opening statement tonight, lighting the fire against the rest of the XHF!
Angel: Theyāre in five matches tonight that could be considered Fed Warfare. Theyāve painted the targets, now itās up to them to show what they can do.
We cut to the ring for the first match as FIRESIDE clears out.
The opening of the TuPacās āTo Live and Die in LAā hits the pa system and El Combatiente follows his manager Javier onto the stage. They look around soaking up there surrounding until El Combatiente breaks into a full sprint for the ring and slides in. Javier slowly walks to ringside and takes his position at ringside as El Combatiente stretches in the ring preparing for his match to begin.
Frank Salazar : The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall and is for the SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! Introducing first, hailing from South Los Angeles, CA. Coming in at 5ā9 and 219 pounds .... EL COMBATIENTE!!!
And his opponent ā¦. hailing from Rio de Janeiro. Coming in at 6ā1 and 300 pounds .... representing the Society of the New Breed .... THE GOLDEN GOD ..... RALLY JACKSON!!!
Hate or Glory" by Gesaffelstein hits and Rally Jackson makes his way down the ramp way. He is taking his time and looks seriously out of shape, he gets in the ring and struts around in a confident manner and then cracks his own neck and the ref approaches him and starts patting him down.
SWAT World Heavyweight Championship Match
One Fall Match
El CombatienteĀ© vs Rally Jackson
One Fall Match
El CombatienteĀ© vs Rally Jackson
Jeremy Tucker : Welcome everyone to the REAL start to the show, welcome to Supremacy! We are SWAT and this is our WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!
Andrew Fulton : Damn straight it is Jerry! If we arenāt last, we will be first and kick off this show with a BANG! Lesnar style!
Jeremy Tucker : We donāt talk about them guys here Andy, itās covered in EVERY post production meeting.
Andrew Fulton : Well, 1. I donāt go to them meetings and 2, the King commentates these joint shows when our belts aināt on the line, so stick it Jerry.
Jeremy Tucker : King got fired so that's harsh! This here is a rematch from Battlelines, when El Combatiente won the World Title from Rally. El Combatiente had all the momentum on his side that night, and has taken the Wrestling World by storm since his victory. He was named SWAT Most Popular wrestler for the year and has been a tremendous champion.
Andrew Fulton : He was, but Rally was named the SWAT WRESTLER of the Year! He is Over like Rover and after New Years Nightmare, he is actually, focused, and a little bit angry, and I LIKE THAT!
Jeremy Tucker : He won the triple crown with no fucks given last year, so who is to say what will happen if he means it and cares.
Andrew Fulton : We have Radu to thank for that.
Jeremy Tucker : Referee Vick Mackey calls for the bell, and we are under way. EC starts off a house of fire.
[EC with a series of strikes, far too quick for the slower and bigger Rally, EC then with a nice drop kick.]
Andrew Fulton : Pardon the pun.
[EC goes for a snap suplex, but Rally blocks it, giving a dead weight and canāt be taken over, he then reverses it and vertical suplexes the smaller El Combatiente.]
Jeremy Tucker : True, we just saw at No Manās Land in his bout for the World Tag Team Titles, EC badly burned when he was sent thru a flaming table by Frostbite.
[Rally goes to drop a knee on EC but EC rolls out of the way and then arm drags Rally as he rises to his feet.]
Andrew Fulton : Why are we first up again Jerry?
[EC catches Rally with a rana as he again tries to get to his feet.]
Jeremy Tucker : Well, itās all politics from what I heard. Other feds
[Rally gets back on the offense capturing the leg of EC and locking in a Jiu jitsu heel hook.]
Andrew Fulton : So what then happened Jerry? It was weāll go first and say, TOP THIS?
[Rally moves it into a knee bar]
Jeremy Tucker : Thatās the gist of it. El Combatiente getting the short end of the stick there, he just got some 2nd degree burns in the No Manās Land tag title match and with 20 plus matches here tonight, he coulda done with a few more hours recovery time.
[Rally torques on the knee]
Andrew Fulton : Youāre cleared to go or youāre not Jerry. Itās that simple.
[Rally with a ashi garami.]
Jeremy Tucker : Rally is really taking that loss at New Years to heart. He didnāt like Radu coming at him as the leader of the locker room.
[Rally switches to the single leg x guard.]
Andrew Fulton : What a display here on the leg by Rally. He wonāt be able to jump if he canāt stand. And who would like the locker room leader Radu coming at them?
[EC counters out of the x guard and DDTās Rally.]
Jeremy Tucker : Then donāt mess with the locker room if you donāt want to face the consequences.
[EC with a big double foot stomp on Rally, then a standing senton.]
Andrew Fulton : The locker room leader decided to mess with Rally. You want to rib a ribber, you better get the job done, because by what Rally said, he is just getting started now.
Jeremy Tucker : He had it coming.
Andrew Fulton : Well, now Radu has it coming, he made a point of not only coming for Rally, like some hero, but also AFTER being eliminated from the Scaffold match, MULTIPLE times!
[Stinger splash by El Combatiente.]
Jeremy Tucker : SLICED BREAD BY EC!!!
Cover on Rally ā¦ā¦ā¦..
One ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦..
Two ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦.
Rally rolls the shoulder.
Andrew Fulton : Side headlock by EC, and Rally clobbers the back of EC and he crumbles.
Jeremy Tucker : Them burn wounds from No Mans Land coming back to haunt EC! He shouldnāt even be defending the belt tonight.
Andrew Fulton : Itās a new thing in the XHF. See how fucked up before a match you can get and then prevail above the odds.
Jeremy Tucker : Backstabber by Rally! Brutal, no remorse for the burns on EC.
Andrew Fulton : Remorse? This is SWAT Jerry! Save the excuses for the wives.
Jeremy Tucker : Rally grabs EC and piledrives him into the mat. He signals thatās it and covers ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
One ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦..
Two ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦..
THRE ā¦ EC rolls the shoulder.
Andrew Fulton : Rally hoists EC up for a big powerbomb, and then EC rolls out of it and Ranaās Rally thru the ropes to the outside.
Jeremy Tucker : Rally falls awkwardly to the outside and EC runs the ropes and springboards off them and Suicide dive / tope to Rally on the outside. The Alaskan crowd going berserk!
Andrew Fulton : EC rolls Rally into the ring and then mounts the top rope and 630! NOOOO! Rally got the kneeās up.
Jeremy Tucker : Right into the burnt back of El Combatiente. He is selling hard, and I donāt think its selling, he is hurting folks.
Andrew Fulton : Rally grabs EC and seizes the moment and locks on a Camel Clutch, reefing on the neck but grinding on the burnt back of EC!
Jeremy Tucker : EC is howling in pain. Javier looking concerned, I think he wants to stop it.
Andrew Fulton : He should.
Jeremy Tucker : He never will. Look at this now, Rally is grabbing at the mask of EC while he is in the Camel Clutch, and he is trying to rip it off of ECās face. This is crossing the line!
Andrew Fulton : Too far? There is no such thing Jerry! Rally is going to unmask him! Show us who he REALLY is under there! I love this vicious Rally the most.
Jeremy Tucker : You would. EC reaching up and pulling the mask back down, he is not letting it come off, itās a tug of war on the mask, Rally is stronger but I believe EC has more motivation to hold it down. Rally reaches down behind him and pulls something out of the back of his trunks, looks like a banana peel, and he rams it towards the exposed mouth of EC but EC pulls the mask back down! NOOOO!! The banana peel is trapped in there as he pulled the mask down.
Andrew Fulton : I think Iām gonna heave.
Jeremy Tucker : Youāre not alone. Look at El Combatiente, he is gasping for air, and dry reaching with that banana peel from Rallyās crack in his mask. Thatās just grouse.
Andrew Fulton : EC is gonna spew! (goes into Vince voice) HEāS GONNA SPEW! HEāS GONNA SPEW!!!!
Jeremy Tucker : He canāt, his mask is locking it all in! The Kata-Ha-Jime!!! Rally with The Kata-Ha-Jime
Andrew Fulton : EC is in a hell of a predicament, he is getting choked out ā¦..
Jeremy Tucker : With that stench of Rallyās trunks in his mask!
Andrew Fulton : He is tapping! EC is tapping out! Rally is the new champ!
Jeremy Tucker : He is! El Combatiente just tapped out! Rally is now a Two Time SWAT Heavyweight Champion!
[Javier runs into the ring with a bottle of water and lifts the mask just over the mouth so EC can breathe and hurls the Banana Peel into the crowd, feeding the water to his charge.]
Frank Salazar : Winner of the match, and NEWWWWWW SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! THE GOLDEN GOLD! RALLY JACKSON!!!!!
Rally Jackson : (snatching the mic from Salazar) ā¦. I would like to dedicate this victory, to the leader of the locker room. āRadu Mateiā
This one is for you Deathless!
Want to Rib the Ribber? Jokes on you Jack!
[Rally drops the mic and is handed the World Belt by Mackey and brandishes it to the crowd and camera, Javier still trying to clear the throat of EC.]
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, and is a Fed Warfare match!
The opening riff to 21st Century Schizoid Man begins to play as lights flicker off and on. We pan across the venue as the song continues. The opening words begin as we see Otto come out from the back. He walks up to the stage before pausing and surveying the venue.
Bonnie Jenkins: About to make his way down to the ring, coming all the way from Hamburg, Germany. He stands at 5'10 inches tall, and weighed in tonight at 195 pounds. Representing FIRESIDE, he is "Das Blitzkind" OTTOOOOOOOOOO RITTERRR!
He walks down the ring with his hands behind his back, walking around the ring as the chaotic instrumentals blare over the speaker. He walks up the steps and onto the apron before wiping his feet and entering the holy land. He takes a step into the middle of the ring before pointing up a finger to the sky and mouthing something in german.
Hawke: I love me a good foreign menace! Otto Ritter is all about that classic, 60s-era wrestling. No nonsense, just wrestling!
Angel: Come onnnn, where's the fun? The pizzazz? He's a bore, Hawke, a bore!
Apocalypse WOW! then starts to play and the fans in attendance go crazy! A large red carpet rolls down the ramp and strutting out of the back is the silly, wildin' Johnny Styler!
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent, hailing from the nearest plane out of Funky Town. He stands at 5'11 inches tall, and weighs in at 205 pounds. Representing MCCW, he is "The Forest Kid" JOHNNYYYYYYYYYY STYYYYYYYYYLEEEEEEEEEEER!
He continues the Ric Flair strut down the ring and rolls into the ring. He removes the bath robe, Rick Rude style, and WOO!s right in Otto's face!
Hawke: This is a clash of personalities. Two polar opposites on the wrestling spectrum, squaring off to see which style is the best.
Angel: Clearly it's my friend Johnny! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GO NATURAL SELECTION, WOOOOO!
Fed Warfare - MCCW vs FIRESIDE
One Fall Match
Johnny Styler vs Otto Ritter
One Fall Match
Johnny Styler vs Otto Ritter
DING DING! DING DING!
And they're off! Otto marches a circle in a serious manner while his opposite Johnny swoons and woos, a drunken smile on his face! They lock up! Johnny takes the lead as he locks Otto in a headlock. He's pushed against the ropes before Otto shoves him back and knocks him down with a short-armed clothesline! Styler is back to his feet before he's lifted and dropped with a german suplex! He roars in a german dialect and ground 'n' pounds on Styler! The crowd are getting fired up as Otto tries a Hogan taunt to the delight of the fans in attendance, only to work Styler in a rest hold!
Hawke: This is real wrestling!
Angel: THIS. IS. BORING!
The crowd start to chant. STYLER! STYLER! STYLER! The crowd chants for the man and they will him back into this! He pushes himself to his feet, a few quick strikes to the gut before a large, loud 'n' proud chop! Otto goes down and Styler bounces off the ropes for a knee drop! He then gets up for another rebound off the ropes, and simply flair flops into a pin!
ONE...
T-KICKOUT!
Otto kicks out with some authority. He wasn't expecting this kind of offense from the younger by weeks member of Natural Selection! Styler spreads the legs of Otto and gives him the stamp of approval... right in his Ritters! He rolls over fetal, yowling like a cat and swearing like a sailor. Styler climbs the ropes, dizzy as a drunken sailor, and holds the top rope to steady himself before he leaps... going many feet up but only a few feet forward for a splash! But Otto catches him with a large European uppercut! Otto lifts Styler up, and he gets turned inside out with a foot stamp! Styler bumps him over, then starts posing for the crowd. BUT OTTO RUNS AROUND JOHNNY, HE'S LEADING HIM BACK AND FORTH WITH SOME TRICKY PARKOUR! A SPIN, A TWIRL, A SCHOOL BOY ROLL-UP!
ONE...
TWO...
THREE!!
DING DING! DING DING!
Bonnie Jenkins: Here is the winner of the match, OTTO RITTER!
Angel: BOOOOOOOOOO! Styler was screwed! That shouldn't have happened, he took his pre-match shots of alcohol and everything!
Hawke: It's like the old saying go, you can teach a new dog old tricks but an old dog using old tricks always gets the treat!
Angel: Nobody says that! You made that up on the spot!
Hawke: Did not.
Angel: Did too!
As the commentary team squabbles, we focus on Otto's victory celebration, which is as old fashioned as you can get: a raised hand before marching away. We fade into a quick commercial detailing new content in the XHF archives, before the next match.
Bonnie Jenkins: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing firstā¦
āBombtrackā by Rage Against The Machine hits ad after the intro, āStunningā Ryan Graham BURSTS through the curtain, attempting to steal and soak up the glory for himself. Solomon follows shortly behind, taping up his wrists and adjusting them to make sure that theyāre just right. Solomon shakes his wrists and stretches them out, while Ryan is just strutting around and acting arrogant.
Bonnie Jenkins: From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred forty-three pounds, the team of āStunningā Ryan Graham and āKing Of The Juniorsā Solomon Grahamā¦ THEEEEEE GRAHAM BROTHERS!!!
Solomon walks quickly, moving past Ryan and towards the ring steps. Meanwhile, Ryan jawjacks with any fan that he sees, making sure to single out each one for being inferior in any way he can. Solomon moves up the ring steps quickly. When on the ring apron, he wipes his feet before stepping between the ropes. Ryan hops up onto the ring apron and wipes his feet before entering the ring as well.
Hawke: Well Randy, we got the owner of FWA coming down to the ring with his older brother.
Angel: This, to Solomon, is likely a demonstration of just what kind of hard-hitting tag action we have going on at Fullmetal.
Hawke: Itāll be nice to see what the brothers can do working together, thatās for sure.
Angel: Well, we got a chance to see that as they take on two outside competitors.
Once in the ring, Solomon simply makes his way over to their corner and stretches on the top rope, but Ryan, upon entering the ring, climbs the nearest turnbuckle. He puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head, while looking out at the people. He then hops off and makes his way towards Solomon as the music fades out.
Slowly, the lights of the arena gradually begin to fade until there is darkness. Only the lights from mobile devices and flash photography can be seen.
Then, Deryck Whibleyās voice is heard.
āSo what am I fighting for?
Everything back and more.
And Iām not gonna let this go!
Iām ready to settle the scoreā¦
Get ready ācause this is war!ā
Everything back and more.
And Iām not gonna let this go!
Iām ready to settle the scoreā¦
Get ready ācause this is war!ā
The student/teacher combination step from behind the curtain. The fans burst into loud, positive cheers that fill the entirety of the arena as Sum 41ās āWarā continues to play from the PA system. The Dropkick King and the Awkward One give each other a glance before making their descent down towards the ring, both sets of eyes completely fixed on the ring and their goal tonight.
Bonnie Jenkins: From New Orleans and Grand Rapids respectively, weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred thirty pounds, Adrien Cochrane and Adam Sanders... THE GUARDIANS!!
āThere are days that I think I'm crazy
Other days nothing seems to faze me
There's nothing more and nothing less
Just all the fears that I must confess wellā
Other days nothing seems to faze me
There's nothing more and nothing less
Just all the fears that I must confess wellā
Nothing breaks their concentration, even as they allow the fans to reach out and tag them. They reach the front of the ring and march in place as the spotlights continue to shine on them. All of them wear expressions of resolution while the fans continue to cheer and take pictures.
Hawke: Adam Sanders is here to bounce back from his loss at Battle for Hegemony.
Angel: I think the concern with Adam wasnāt so much the loss, as he wasnāt even the one pinned. Itās likely the fact that he had to be hospitalized after the match.
Hawke: He kept fighting despite what Pepe-Zoran-whatever did to him. You have to admire that. And heās not alone in this match.
Angel: Indeed. He has likely the best tag team partner he could ask for to get him back to winning on the global stage.
āI'm afraid I believe in nothing
No hopes or dreams you could've left me dead
Naive and not to mention
I'm losing count of all my blessingsā
No hopes or dreams you could've left me dead
Naive and not to mention
I'm losing count of all my blessingsā
The Awkward one rolls into the ring while Adrien hops onto the apron. Cochrane quickly points to all the fans in the arena while Adam holds his arms up on the middle rope in the corner opposite his partner and mentor as the song begins to fade out. Solomon Graham and Adrien Cochrane give each other quick nods as both teams begin to discuss how to open the match in their respective corners.
Global Showcase Match
One Fall Match
The Guardians (Adrien Cochrane and Adam Sanders) vs. The Graham Brothers (Solomon and Ryan)
One Fall Match
The Guardians (Adrien Cochrane and Adam Sanders) vs. The Graham Brothers (Solomon and Ryan)
With Adam not quite at full strength, Cochrane steps into the ring for the Guardians. The Graham Brothers send in the elder Ryan to square off with the Dropkick King. AWF official Gabe Valentine calls for the bell and immediately, Ryan Graham lands a headbutt on the New Orleans native.
DING DING DING!!
With a smirk on his face, Graham shoves Cochrane into the corner to go for another headbutt before Cochrane leaps over the attack. Ryan Graham hits the turnbuckle post and Cochrane uses the backward momentum of Ryan stumbling from that to go for a roll up, but Graham doesnāt even let the count get to one before getting the shoulder up.
Hawke: Adrien tries to see if a quick win was in the books, but it was not.
Angel: Ryan Graham is NOT amused by that strategic move either.
Upset at the roll up attempt, Ryan Graham trips Adrienās legs starts to try to lock in a sharpshooter, but Adrien delivers a couple of kicks to get Ryan off of him. Cochrane kips up and sends Ryan flying across the ring with a hurricanrana.
Hawke: What a hurricanrana by the Dropkick King!
Angel: Yeah, but look where Ryan landed.
But to Adrienās dismay, he sent Ryan right into the corner where Solomon is waiting for a tag. The Graham Brothers make the switch as the owner of FWA steps into the ring and stands face-to-face with his desired free agent acquisition.
Hawke: Owner versus possible signing.
Angel: This is gonna get interesting, thatās for sure!
With a smile on his face, Cochrane offers Graham the first shot. Graham doesnāt hesitate to take it with a left, but Cochrane responds with a right. Right from Graham. Left from Cochrane. Graham, who is clearly the better striker, gets another one that makes Adrien take a few steps back and follows it up with a haymaker that drops Cochrane to the mat. Solomon yanks Adrien back up and throws him into the Graham corner of the ring and gets Ryan to hold him in place. Solomon charges shoulder first and collides with the smallest competitor in the match.
Hawke: Ouch, and the Graham Brothers work together to crush the 190 pound Cochrane.
Angel: And look out, we got a tag to Ryan Graham.
The more-seasoned Graham hip tosses Adrien to the center of the ring. Sanders is on the outside, reaching to get his first tag in the match. Cochrane shakes his head at his student.
Hawke: Heās telling Adam heās not tagging in right now.
Angel: I wonder what thatās all about.
Hawke: Protecting him maybe?
Angel: Heās gonna have to get involved at some point.
Noticing the interaction, Ryan Graham decides to take matters a little bit into his own hands as he delivers a stiff kick to Adamās midsection on the apron, knocking him off said apron.
Hawke: And Ryan Graham with the shot on Adam Sanders.
Angel: Look out, I donāt think Adrien liked that.
The Dropkick King starts seeing red and leaps up, driving his shoulder into the back of Ryanās knee. Before Ryan could get up, Cochrane delivers a booming roundhouse kick to the side of the head. Cochrane follows this up with a quick springboard moonsault off the middle rope and a cover.
ONE!!
TWO!!
FOOT ON THE ROPE!!
The bottom rope saves the Graham Brothers, and the match continues. Adam Sanders gets back on the apron and finally, Adrien gives him a chance to participate in the match. Adam places Graham in the corner while Adrien backs up. Sanders drops to his hands and knees and allows Adrien to charge and leap off his back. Sanders rolls out of the way as Adrien drops Ryan Graham into the middle of the ring with a hurricanrana.
Hawke: And thereās a double team move from the Guardians.
Angel: āThis Songās For Youā by the Guardians, a move demonstrated at AWF Fired Up against Chris Card and Natasha.
Cochrane returns to the outside and Adam Sanders sends Ryan Graham into the ropes and slams him hard to the mat with a spinebuster. Sanders hooks the leg.
ONE!!
TWO!!
TH...NO!!
The shoulder is off the mat after a count of two. Adam Sanders lifts Ryan Graham up before Graham is able to get a hold of Adam and start to squeeze him with a bear hug. Adam, struggling with breathing before, appears to have all the wind sucked out of him.
Angel: And this is the way to capitalize on the Awkward Oneās predicament.
Hawke: Attacking the midsection of Sanders. Wise move by Graham.
Angel: Only a matter of time before it becomes too much for Sanders.
Sanders is able to get the wherewithal to deliver double elbows to the shoulders of Ryan Graham. He drops to a knee to catch his breath but that only gives Ryan Graham the opening to deliver a knee to the head of the AWF competitor. Ryan yanks Adam by the leg to the Graham corner before tagging in his younger brother. Ryan yanks Adam to his knees and Solomon starts to deliver a few kicks to Adamās chest before finishing off the combination with a shotgun dropkick.
Angel: I hope the so-called Dropkick King over there is paying attention to how effective dropkicking works.
Hawke: Oh, heās watching. Heās seething.
Angel: Too bad.
Cochrane has seen enough and steps into the ring to come to the aid of Adam, but Gabe Valentine stands in his way, ordering him to return to the apron. This gives Ryan an opportunity to start choking Adam in the Graham corner. Solomon assists with shoulder tackle on Adamās mid-section.
Hawke: Oh come on. This is so cheap!
Angel: Hey, Adrien is the dummy who is distracting the referee so he canāt see this.
Hawke: Heās just trying to help his friend.
As the refereeās back is still turned, Ryan assists Solomon with a double powerbomb on Adam Sanders before rolling out of the ring. Adrien finally stops trying to enter the ring and allows Gabe Valentine to return to the action. Solomon sees this as good a time as any to go for the pinfall.
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR...NO!!
Hawke: How did he?!
Angel: Adam is a tough bastard, Iāll give him that. But he canāt take too much more punishment.
Solomon locks in his bear hug now, the second Adam has had put on him in the match. Sanders starts struggling to breathe and after flailing for a moment, he appears to start to fade.
Angel: See? Look at him. Losing his will to fight right here.
Hawke: Sanders appears to be almost out of it. Gabe Valentine is about to check to see if he should call for the bell.
Angel: Call it. Heās done.
The hand goes up, and comes down. Valentine raises it a second time with the same result. The third timeā¦ THE ARM STAYS UP?!
Angel: HOW?!?!
Hawke: Adam Sanders is still fighting!!
Angel: BUT HOW?! HE LITERALLY HAD A HOLE IN HIS LUNG!
Adam starts to use his raw power to pull Solomonās arms off. Ryan Graham doesnāt like the way this looks and steps through the ropes. Solomon doesnāt see this and swings a lariat at Adam, who ducksā¦ causing Solomon to hit Ryan. Solomon turns back around and is dropped by Adamās signature double arm DDT, the Motor City Circuit. Ryan Graham is back up and eats a huge Lightning Strike superkick from the Awkward One. Adam drops down to his knees but both Graham brothers are down on the mat.
Hawke: And just like that, the tables have turned!!
Angel: This isā¦ I donāt understand how!
Hawke: Either way, Adam has laid out both Graham Brothers. And now he eyes his tag team partner!
Sanders stumbles a bit before getting the tag to Adrien Cochrane, who immediately climbs the top rope and looks down at Solomon Graham. Cochrane flies with his Flight One Eight Two and drops down on Solomonās midsection. Cochrane stays on top for the cover.
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR...NO!!
With only a millisecond to spare, Solomon Graham gets the shoulder up. Ryan Graham is starting to pull himself up and is knocked back outside the ring with a dropkick from the king of the move.
Hawke: Beautiful dropkick from the Dropkick King.
Angel: This is going sideways fast for the Graham Brothers.
Hawke: Adrien Cochrane is looking at Solomon like he wants to end the match.
Not knowing what is happening behind him, Solomon stumbles to his feet. He turns around and sees Adrien grabbing his head and has the reflexes to push him off before Cochrane can land the Adrien Cutter. With Ryan trying to re-enter the ring to exact revenge for the dropkick, Gabe Valentine looks away from Solomon and Adrien long enough for the younger Graham to hit the low blow he is very known for using. Ryan quickly gets the tag from his brother and he immediately looks for the submission he tried earlier in the match.
Hawke: Looks like Ryan Graham wants to ground the Dropkick King.
Angel: Sharpshooter to take out the legs. Good strategy.
Hawke: And itās locked in!
The pain is all over the face of Adrien Cochrane. He grits his teeth as Ryan keeps applying the submission on his legs and back. Adam Sanders climbs on the bottom rope in the Guardians corner to try to motivate Adrien to get out of the move.
Angel: Ha! Little Adam is trying to pep talk Adrien while heās in a sharpshooter.
Hawke: Hey, leave the kid alone. Heās trying to get a win here. I think the cameras are picking up Adamās voice.
Adam Sanders: Come on, Adrien! You can do this! Youāre almost there. Just keep reaching!
Cochrane hears the words from his student and keeps pulling himself slowly but surely towards the nearest rope.
Adam Sanders: We need this win. We need this, Adrien. We believe in you. #Believe!
The limited capacity fans start chanting āBE-LIEVEā to encourage the Dropkick King, who is almost in reach of the ropes.
Adrien Cochrane: BEEEEEE...LIEEEEVE!!!
With everything he has, he grabs onto the bottom rope, forcing Ryan Graham to release the hold on Cochrane. Cochrane remains on the mat for a moment. The āBE-LIEVEā chant keeps going as Adam starts hopping on the apron, to get Adrien to give him the tag.
Adam Sanders: Come on, Adrien! You can do this!! We got this! Tag me in, come on!!
Ignoring Adam on the apron, Ryan Graham smirks as he lifts Adrien up by the hair.
Ryan Graham: Youāre no dropkick king, punk. I donāt even know why my brother wants to sign you. You canāt do shit.
Adrien Cochrane: Yeahā¦ watch meā¦
Cochrane delivers a left then a right then a left and a rightā¦ THEN DIVES FOR THE CORNER TO TAG IN ADAM!! Before Ryan can even realize the legal man has changed, Adam is flying off the top rope with a flying clothesline.
Hawke: Flight of the Dragonite!!
Angel: Ryan is in trouble! Do something, Solomon!
Hawke: Adam looks like heās going for his finisher here!
Adam quickly picks Ryan up and lifts him in the air in a suplex before dropping him on his head, a move known as This Is Awkward. Solomon Graham steps into the ring as he realizes his brother is in trouble. As Adam looks back up, he watches as Adrien gives his last ounce of energy to drop Solomon Graham to the mat with an Adrien Cutter.
Adrien Cochrane: Youā¦ can do it. Thisā¦ is yourā¦ momentā¦
Hawke: Adam hit his finisher on Ryan! Adrien just took out Solomon with his! Itās all up to Adam to get the cover.
Angel: No!!
With a quick nod of the head, Adam Sanders hooks the leg of Ryan Graham after he hit his finisher.
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!
DING DING DING!!
āSo all that I'm trying to say
I'm looking for a better way
Some days it just gets so hard
And I don't wanna slip away
So what am I fighting for?
Everything back and more
And I'm not gonna let this go
I'm ready to settle the score
Get ready 'cause this is WAR!ā
I'm looking for a better way
Some days it just gets so hard
And I don't wanna slip away
So what am I fighting for?
Everything back and more
And I'm not gonna let this go
I'm ready to settle the score
Get ready 'cause this is WAR!ā
Bonnie Jenkins: Here are your winnersā¦ Adam Sanders and Adrien Cochraneā¦ THE GUARDIANS!!
Hawke: What an impressive win for the Guardians! Solomon and Ryan really brought the heat in this tag match.
Angel: Yeah, wellā¦ I hope Solomon got what he wanted out of this match. His goal was to impress Adrien to make him want to sign with FWA. And the result was that he let his little brother get pinned by Adrienās student.
The only person not laying down on the mat is Adam Sanders as Gabe Valentine raises the hand of the seated Awkward One. The sheer irony that it is he that is the first to be able to get to his feet after he was the one hospitalized two weeks ago isnāt lost on him as he runs both hands through his hair.
Hawke: After everything Adam has gone through and had to endure the past few months, Iām glad heās getting this moment.
Angel: Yeah, and now heās checking on his teacher.
Sanders tends to the Dropkick King as Ryan Graham is now sitting in the corner where he and Solomon were stationed for the match. Cochrane gets back to his feet with Adamās assistance before rolling out of the ring and reaching under the ring.
Angel: What is he doing now?
Hawke: Iāmā¦ not sure. Adrien seems to be looking for something.
Adrien re-emerges from looking under the ring with two things: a sign that reads āPURPLE EMPERORSā in big bold letters and a medieval gauntlet that looks like itās fresh from a Renaissance Festival. He holds the sign above his head with his left hand before using his right hand to toss the gauntlet a few feet in front of him.
Angel: Did he just literally throw a gauntlet?
Hawke: Well, yeah. The gauntlet has been thrown. It looks like Adrien Cochrane is officially calling out Radu and Anthony Caffrey. Jason Long also stated his intentions to challenge as well with the New Age Killers. Looks like the XHF Tag Team Title picture just got quite busy. Of course, the Purple Emperors will have to get through the Dark Stars and the Dark Novas first.
Ryan is still sitting in the corner as Solomon Graham finally gets to his feet. He walks up to his brother and extends an arm to help him get back to his feet.
Solomon Graham: Hey, we did our best. Letās get out of here.
Ryan Graham takes his younger brotherās hand but once he is up, Ryan Graham does something no one expectsā¦ he kicks Solomon right between the legs in the Graham Low Blow fashion. The fans begin to boo loudly.
Hawke: Oh come on!! This is your little brother! Stop this, Ryan!!
Angel: Wow, Ryan Graham has SNAPPED!!
After a quick headbutt, Ryan Graham flips his brother and locks in his inverted figure four leg lock, also known as the Conviction. Solomon Graham starts yelping for help and Gabe Valentine is doing all he can do: yelling. Graham pays no mind to the yelling referee. Cochrane and Sanders were at the top of the ramp but they just realized what is going on. Cochrane starts sprinting to the ring immediately.
Hawke: Adrien is coming now. Heās seen enough.
Angel: Ryan was only trying to make a point.
Adrien slides into the ring, but Ryan Graham has already released the hold and exited the ring. Adam is now checking on Solomon Graham as Adrien glares as Ryan Graham has a sadistic look of satisfaction from hurting his brother.
Hawke: This is awful. Solomon fought hard for his brother. There is no excuse for Ryan Graham to attack his brother.
Angel: Allās fair in love and war. Solomon let his guard down. Thatās his own fault.
Hawke: Well, while the Guardians tend to Solomon Graham, letās cut to backstage.
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is a Fight 2 the Finish match. It is a gauntlet match that each person in the contest is eliminated when they can no longer answer a ten count. The last team standing wins the match. Featuring first...Wellington Dunne, Joe Nobody, Travis Monroe, and Johnny Sniper. They are Saga!
Angel: So, this is the last ride of Saga. Is it about time?
Hawke: Itās kind of a sad moment I think.
Angel: I think itās about time they went their separate ways.
Hawke: Why is that?
Angel: I donāt know exactly why. Itās just good.
Hawke: That doesnāt make a lick of sense.
Angel: I donāt make sense, I make bucks.
Hawke: We both make...just have another drink why donāt ya.
Bonnie Jenkins: And their opponents...Rob Arnold, Leon Chant, Riley Richards, and Big Dick Energy! They are the Academy!
Angel: I think itās important to note that Richard Energy is not a part of the Academy. Heās like a guest star.
Hawke: I think our fans know that.
Angel: Yeah, but Bonnie telling them otherwise might be confusing.
Hawke: I suppose this is true. Looks like Richard Energy and Travis Monroe are going to start out in the match.
Angel: We gonna get some Big Dick Energy up in here!
Global Showcase Match
Fight 2 the Finish Match
The Saga (Dunne/Nobody/Monroe/Sniper) vs The Academy (Arnold/Richards/Chant) and Big Richard Energy
Fight 2 the Finish Match
The Saga (Dunne/Nobody/Monroe/Sniper) vs The Academy (Arnold/Richards/Chant) and Big Richard Energy
Richard opens the match by slapping Travis with some big chops that send him right to the mat with the power behind the chops. He aims a stomp at Travis, who rolls away to his feet. He catches Richard with a knee to the gut and then a DDT to send Richard to the mat.
Richard is quickly back to his feet, but Travis is on him with a German suplex. Travis waits for Richard to get up and hits him with the flatliner!
Hawke: What a flurry of offensive moves from Travis!
Angel: Who has the Big Dick Energy?
The referee begins to count the fallen Richard Energy out.
1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10!
Bonnie Jenkins: Richard Energy has been eliminated!
Riley Richards leaps into the ring, crossing it in a heartbeat, and hitting Travis Monroe with a drop kick. When Travis gets up, Riley drops him again with a snap suplex.
Angel: Looks like Riley has the Big Dick Energy now.
Hawke: Is this a thing now? Is this going to be the running joke for the entire match?
Angel: I think so, yeah.
Hawke: Good lord.
When Travis gets back up to his feet Riley hits him with a super kick that sends him back down to the mat. Riley runs up to the top rope, turns around, leaps into the air, and hits a coup de grace!
Hawke: Riley Richards with Bristolās Finest! Travis could be out!
Angel: You think?
The referee begins a ten count to count Travis out, his teammates cheer him on to get up.
1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10!
Bonnie Jenkins: Travis Monroe has been eliminated!
Hawke: The Academy and Saga each down by one member. Who will Saga put in next?
Angel: Someone else? Someone in Saga.
Johnny Sniper hops into the ring. He aims a super kick at Rileyās head, but Riley steps back and catches Johnny by the ankle. He pulls Johnny into a short arm clothesline before going to the ropes and springing off of them. He hits Johnny with the rolling thunder!
Hawke: Johnny thought he could end this quick, but he was quite wrong.
Angel: Riley is looking to end this quick. See? Top rope!
Riley hops up and seemingly floats to the top rope he hops up there so quickly. He leaps off of the ropes for another coup de grace! Riley rolls away from Johnny so that the referee can count.
1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10!
Bonnie Jenkins: Johnny Sniper has been eliminated!
Angel: Johnny thought he would make this quick. How right he was, but for the wrong reasons.
Hawke: Indeed. He didnāt know that Riley would counter him so easily.
Angel: So which Saga member is up next?
Hawke: Looks like Wellington Dunne is getting into the ring.
Wellington gets into the ring and runs at Riley, hitting him with a massive spear that lifts Riley up off of his feet before planting him onto the mat. He hefts Riley up into an Argentine Back-breaker transitioned into a DDT! He gets Riley up again and hits a Fireman's Carry Neckbreaker! He backs away so that the ref can count.
1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10!
Bonnie Jenkins: Riley Richards has been eliminated!
Angel: Who next to fall to the mighty might of the Saga?
Hawke: Why such sarcasm?
Angel: Hmm? Why, I would neva!
Hawke: Youāre doing it now!
Leon Chant enters the ring. He grabs Wellington up and hits a running power slam. Leon kneels up and begins hammering away at him with lefts and rights. He pulls Wellington up and hits a pop up power bomb!
1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10!
Bonnie Jenkins: Wellington Dunne has been eliminated!
Joe Nobody hops over the ropes and super kicks Leon in the side of the head. He stands with his arms raised as if he had already won, except for the fact that Leon gets up to his feet. He whips Joe into the corner where Rob nails him in the back of the head when Leon isnāt looking. Joe stumbles out of the corner, right into a pop up power bomb! Leon walks away while Rob grins.
1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10!
Bonnie Jenkins: Joe Nobody has been eliminated! The winners of this match, Big Richard Energy and The Academy!
Angel: Victory by the Academy, though Rob did cheat a little but. It was fun!
Hawke: He did what he thought he had to do.
Angel: Did this match seem like it was extra quick?
Hawke: How do you mean?
Angel: The people fell quick when at any other sort of time, it would take everything to put them down.
Hawke: I assure you that I have no idea.
Angel: Let's throw it over to WWX for some tag team action!
Gary Lane: Thank you Randy, this is Gary Lane and my partner Michael Hart here, representing the World Wrestling eXistence at the commentary booth for this monumental night.
Michael Hart: Absolutely, Gary. Itās an honor to be part of this great event that has been Supremacy so far, but now itās time to show the XHF what we are capable of.
Gary Lane: This match will pit 3 of our all time greats, plus a new face, in a tag team showcase, and boy, am I excited for it.
The arena goes black, but a single white spotlight emits at the top of the stage as "Taking You Down" by Egypt Central begins playing as "The Aerial Specialist" Krimzon Blaze is seen at the top of the ramp as fans become unglued cheering as Blaze walks down the ramp way towards the ring as he claps as many hands as he can before giving a young fan a pair of his trademark KB glasses before entering the ring as green pyro erupts on all four corners as KB gives off his signature taunt being the double-guns.
Announcer: Now approaching the ring, from Detroit, Michigan, standing at 6ā2 and weighing in at 215 pounds...The Aerial Specialist... Krimzon Blaze!
Gary Lane: Krimson Blaze, the 4 time World champion and Hall of Fame inductee, making his grand return to the WWX.
Michael Hart: Blaze looks as good as ever, he looks like he hasnāt lost a beat over the years.
The lights go out in the arena and Wanna Be a Baller by Lil Troy hits the PA.
Bad Boy Brown makes his way through the curtains. He is wearing a Black Basketball Jersey, Black Trunks, Knee pads and wrestling boots. He has taped wrists and Fingerless biker style gloves. Reaching the middle of the stage, he pauses and throws his arms up and continues to do a slow badass type jaunt to the ring. He will slap hands around the ring as he reaches the floor area. Then roll in under the ropes and pop to his feet, walking the ring from corner to corner. He will raise his hands in each corner and then move to the center of the ring and raise his arms one last time. Then move to his corner.
Announcer: And his partner, also from Detroit, Michigan, standing at 6ā4 and weighing in at 255 pounds...Bad! Boy! Brown!
Lane: And yet another WWX legend showing up for tonight.
Hart: Now past his 40th birthday, Bad Boy Brown still has the same incredible physique.
Krimson Blaze and Bad Boy Brown stare at each other in their corner.
āCrawling in the Darkā by Hoobastank hits. Steen walks out onto the stage. He stands and surveys the crowd momentarily. He throws his arms out in a crucifix pose as his pyro goes off behind him. He makes his way down to the ring posturing for the crowd. Once at ringside, Steen leaps up on the apron. He leans casually against the ropes and stares out at the crowd for a moment before entering through the second rope. He climbs onto the top turnbuckle and poses for the crowd.
Announcer: And their opponents. Now approaching the ring, from Hollywood, California. Standing in at 6ā1 and weighing 212 pounds...he is the Cool Factor...Willie Steen!
Lane: The Cool Factor, Willie Steen, looks ready for business.
Hart: Steen made much of his early career as a tag team specialist, mind you. This could spell disaster for Krimson and Bad Boy Brown.
'Ashes of the Dawn' starts to play. A man in an unkempt suit runs out from backstage, holding a briefcase. He pauses for a moment on the stage, goggling at the crowd, before his eyes land on a random fan, who he rushes over to and pulls them with him up to the stage. He opens the case, revealing what appears to be an old, damaged wrestling championship belt. He helps the fan put the belt on, showing them a series of three poses. As the music builds to a head, a voice begins counting down.
VOICE: 3!
The fan strikes the first pose.
VOICE: 2!
The fan strikes the second pose.
VOICE: 1!
The fan strikes the final pose.
VOICE: TRANSFOOOORM!
There is a flash of bright white light, and the arena goes completely dark. After a couple of seconds, the lights come back up to reveal Bootleg Dragon on the stage. He poses for the fans, before dashing down to ringside. He slides into the ring, heading to the corner to pose again.)
Announcer: And his partner. From Anchorage, Alaska, standing at 6ā7 and weighing 275 pounds...Bootleg Dragon!
Hart: Now hereās an oddball entry to this match.
Lane: Newcomer Bootleg Dragon has been making a name for himself in the recent shows. I wonder if his personality will clash with Steen in the ring, however. Theyāre completely different.
Steen jumps down from the turnbuckle and offers a high five to Bootleg Dragon, who just stares at it. Steen shrugs it off, as the referee rings the bell. Krimson Blaze steps outside the ring, and after a moment, Dragon does the same.
WWX Exclusive Tag Team Match
One Fall Match
Krimzon Blaze and Bad Boy Brown v. Bootleg Dragon and Willie Steen
One Fall Match
Krimzon Blaze and Bad Boy Brown v. Bootleg Dragon and Willie Steen
Lane: Bad Boy Brown and Willie Steen will start off the action as the legal men here.
Steen and Brown stare at each other for a moment, circling, before finally locking their arms in the middle of the ring. As he realizes heās losing the strength contest, Steen kicks Brown in the gut, who simply shrugs it off and pushes Steen down the mat. Steen rolls back to his feet, and stares his opponent once more. Steen delivers a running dropkick to Bad Boy Brownās right leg, making him fall to his knees. He then runs to the ropes, but as he comes back, Brown catches him with a rebounding spinebuster, sending him firmly into the mat.
Lane: And Steen is on the losing edge of that early trade.
Hart: Age hasnāt slowed Bad Boy Brown at all, heās still the same big slab of beef heās always been.
Steen takes a moment to recover, and then jumps back on his feet. He can be heard saying āForget thisā as he tags in Bootleg Dragon into the action. Dragon steps into the ring and immediately poses. Brown takes advantage of this moment to kick Dragon in the gut, but as he tries a DDT, Dragon pushes him away. The two men start trading blows in the middle of the ring, with Dragon gaining the upper edge, pushing Brown to the ropes. He irish whips Bad Boy Brown to the ropes, and as he comes back, catches him with a backflip kick, to cheers from the audience.
Lane: And that agilityās memorable for someone of his size!
Dragon picks Bad Boy Brown from the mat, delivering a bodyslam, and then whips him to the corner, delivering a running dropkick. Dragon tags Willie Steen back in, who jumps the ropes to land a firm double footstomp to Bad Boy Brownās chest. Bad Boy Brown recovers and goes for an irish whip, which Steen reverses, and as Bad Boy Brown comes back, nails him with a standing dropkick. Steen delivers a barrage of punches to a downed Brown, who pushes Steen away, and delivers a kick to his gut, followed by a double handed hammer, sending Steen firmly down the mat.
Hart: Bad Boy Brownās tired of being played around with, here.
Bad Boy Brown irish whips Steen into his corner, and delivers a running press to him against the turnbuckles. He tags in Krimson Blaze, who jumps the ropes, catching Willie with a DDT on the way down, followed by a kick to the back of the head. Blaze immediately tosses Steen back to the corner, tagging Bad Boy Brown back in, who proceeds to kick Steen until heās down on the canvas, and then press his head against the lowest turnbuckle, using his knee.
Lane: Bad Boy Brown and Krimson Blaze taking turns with this brutality against Steen here.
Hart: They know their winning condition and are working on it.
Bad Boy Brown tags Krimson Blaze back in, and as he jumps back into the ring, both men prepare a double move on Steen, picking him up from the mat. This is breaken by a running Bootleg Dragon, who crashes into Bad Boy Brown, sending both men off the ring. Bad Boy Brown and Bootleg Dragon keep trading blows up the ramp, eventually both disappearing into the entryway. Now effectively a singles match between Willie Steen and Krimson Blaze, Blaze uses his energy to gain the upper edge against Steen, with a Double Gun, followed by a kick to his midsection, lifting him for The Mighty Death Pop, dropping Steen straight down on his head, and rolling him up for the pin.
Hart: This is it! Krimson Blaze is bagging the win right here!
1...2ā¦2.9! Steen kicks out at the very last moment.
Lane: Unbelievable! After all of this brutality, Steen still keeps his head into the match!
Hart: This is the Cool Factor weāre talking about, Gary. He never gives up.
A dazed Steen uses the ropes to get back on his feet, and as Krimson Blaze approaches him, gives a shoulder tackle, right to his gut. Steen uses the moment to set up his signature triple german suplex, connecting all 3 times, following into a hurricanrana, and a rolling senton for the pin.
1...2...Blaze kicks out at 2.
Lane: Steenās back in this match, for sure!
Krimson Blaze pops back up to his feet, and circles down the middle of the ring, staring Steen. Both men start clapping, getting the crowd into it, before they both lock down. Neither man appears to gain the edge, so they break the lock, followed by standing dropkicks from both of them, at the same time. As both men crash down the mat, Blaze springs back to his feet earlier, landing a firm enzuguiri to Steenās head. Blaze covers Steen up for the pin.
1...2...Steen kicks out at 2.
Blaze picks up Steen from the mat, but Steen replies with an elbow to his gut, followed by a low enzuguiri of his own. Steen runs to the ropes and delivers a dropkick to a downed Blaze, then connecting a kick to the back. Steen continues his assault with a running senton, but before he can go for the pin, Blaze tries to roll him up for the pin. Steen escapes, and tries to go for another dropkick, but this time Blaze dodges away. As both men get back on their feet, Blaze kicks Steen on the knee, followed by a roundhouse kick. Steen grabs Blazeās leg as he kicks, and Blaze attempts a kick with his free leg. Steen dodges, and kicks Blaze on his buttocks, pushing him away. Blaze answers with a backflip kicks, that knocks Steen down to the mat. Blaze runs to the corner, delivering a senton bomb to Steen, and covering him for the pin.
1...2...2.9! Steen kicks out again!
Lane: Unbelievable! These two men are giving their all this match! What a spectacle!
Hart: Meanwhile, where the hell are Bad Boy Brown and Bootleg Dragon?
A visibly tired Krimson Blaze picks up Willie Steen, and sets him up for a second Mighty Death Pop, but Steen manages to escape, connecting a reverse DDT on the way down. Steen picks up Blaze from the mat, and positions himself. He lands the Cali Clash, sending Krimson firmly down the mat, rolling him up for the pin.
Lane: Cali Clash! Cali Clash! This could be over!
1...2...3!
Crawling in the Dark plays on the sound system, as Willie Steen has his hand raised by the referee. Moments later, a limping Bootleg Dragon walks down the ramp, joining his partner having his hand raised and giving back the high five from earlier.
Lane: Hereās Bootleg Dragon back! But whereās Bad Boy Brown?
Hart: Haha, there he is, Gary
The jumbotron shows an image of the backstage, where an unconscious Bad Boy Brown lies in the rubble of a broken catering table.
Lane: What an exciting match between these two teams. Could this be the start of a successful partnership between Willie and Dragon? Only time will tell! For now, back with the XHF.
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is another Fed Warfare match! Introducing first, representing NPW, from Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 161 pounds, she is ISAAAAAAAAAAABELLLLLLLL RIIIIIIIIIIIIIOSSSSS!
The lights dim and then begin to pulse along with the opening guitar riff of āBounceā by Danko Jones; as the drums hit Isabel Rios steps through the curtain, head down, the grappler bouncing on the balls of her feet.
āI love your black dress, your red lips, your long legs, your high heelsā¦ā
The lyrics hit and the lights come up, Isabel looking out to the crowd with a grin as she struts a little on her way down to the ring, clad in black, silver and red trunks and a matching low-cut sports bra, knee pads and kick pads over amateur-style boots, wrists taped. About halfway down the ramp she breaks into a sprint, sliding headfirst under the ropes before popping up to her feet, hitting the ropes opposite and bouncing back, coming to rest on the ropes facing back up to the entrance, one foot on the bottom rope and one foot on the middle, cutting a double bicep pose and wide smile before stepping down to ready herself for the match.
Hawke: The child of Canadian immigrants and a natural athlete in everything she does, if you havenāt seen Isabel Rios yet folks youāre in for a treat.
Angel: She loves herself some suplexes, and the tacticianās got a chance to make the XHF Network know her name.
Hawke: But this is not only Fed Warfare in this match, sheās going against arguably the most established woman on the Network.
Angel: Thatās what Supremacyās all about!
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing her opponent, representing FIRESIDE, from Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing in at 200 pounds, she is MISSTREESSSSS DISSSCCIPPPPLINEEEEE!
"The Planets Op. 32: IV. Jupiter- Bringer of Jollity" by Gustav Holst begins to play on the arena speakers. The lights dim slightly and a spotlight appears on the stage. Mistress Discipline steps onto the stage and adjusts the high collar and neckline of her trademark blue blouse. She marches to the ring with a purpose and without glasses because she wears contacts into the ring so she can see. She rolls into the ring and adjusts her trademark hair buns. She steps into the corner and begins stretching her arms while awaiting her opponent (she will not be bending over).
Hawke: Mistress Discipline has another chance to shine on a global stage tonight, having nearly won the Rumble last year and having defeated Timeless Alex Turner in a feel-good moment of the year at All That Glitters.
Angel: Weāve seen her against very few women, though. Sheās proven herself against men, but tonight itāll be interesting to see her as this is one of the first matches sheās had physical advantages in.
Hawke: But that also caters right into Riosā wheelhouse, always ready to make use of her size and quickness to get an upper hand.
Angel: Not to mention, if she wins just like we saw with Otto Ritter earlier tonight, thereās a FIRESIDE World Championship match waiting for her. You know she wants to get her hands on Misha again after coming so close in her Last Wrestler Standing match against the world champion.
Hawke: She was voted the Best Wrestler Not to Win Gold in 2020, and is certainly looking to change hat. This should be a hotly-contested contest, and thereās the bell!
Fed Warfare - NPW vs FIRESIDE
One Fall Match
Isabel Rios vs Mistress Discipline
One Fall Match
Isabel Rios vs Mistress Discipline
Right after the bell rings, Isabel Rios drops her guard and walks towards the center of the ring, sticking her hand out for a handshake. Mistress Discipline is skeptical for only a moment before joining her in the center of the ring, the two fan favorites shaking hands and getting a roaring round of approval from fans in the Seawolf Sports Complex.
Hawke: A classy showing of respect from these two ladies who are always doing the right thing.
Angel: These two are certainly role models for young women all over the world.
Once the fanfare has come to a close, the two women immediately grapple one another, both looking for the early advantage. Discipline shows her technical skills and transitions the grapple into a side head lock, but Rios slips out of her grasp and gets behind her, sending Discipline flying with a german suplex! Rios keeps her hands wrapped around Disciplineās mid-section and rolls back up to her feet, delivering a second german right after! The crowd pops as Rios uses her technical skills to keep her grasp and hit Discipline with a third german suplex, sending her crashing against the turnbuckles!
Hawke: Whoah! Isabel Rios coming out and making an authoritative statement against Mistress there!
Angel: We talked about Rios making a name for herself tonight, and thatās absolutely how you do it!
As Mistress Discipline crawls around in the corner trying to figure out what the hell just hit her, Isabel Rios takes a few moments to wave her arms and get the crowd going, wanting to working at an accelerated pace and keep Discipline off guard. When her opponent gets back up in the corner, she charges in, only to be met with a vicious big boot! Rios goes down hard! Discipline takes a few moments to lean against the ropes, shaking off the early german suplexes!
Hawke: Discipline answers right back!
Angel: For a submission-based technician, Discipline hits hard with those boots and her knees!
Discipline takes the smaller technician and locks her arm behind her back before using another arm to lock her into a crossface chickenwing. The hold quickly morphs into a body scissors as well, with the FIRESIDE wrestler trapping her NPW opponent in a painful stretch that also looks to choke her out. Rios only has one free arm to use to work her way out of the hold, and she goes to work trying to pry Disciplineās grip loose.
Hawke: Mistress has near full-body control here, and youāre seeing what happens when a technician of her caliber can potentially choke out an opponent!
Angel: Rios is no slouch in the ring though, Iām sure sheās gameplanned around a hold like this!
Isabel Rios keeps trying to pry herself free, but itās becoming apparent that Mistress Discipline has no plans to let go anytime soon. Riosā face is turning redder as more air escapes her lungs, and she looks for any type of solution she can find to escape the hold. With Disciplineās legs still wrapped around her, she has the epiphany to bridge her legs, forcing her opponentās shoulders onto the mat! Rios shifts her weight, trapping her in a pin!
...ONEā¦
...TW-
Mistress Discipline is forced to break the hold!
Hawke: A clever way out from Rios, using Disciplineās hold against her!
Angel: Rios is not going to go down that easily.
Isabel Rios uses the ropes to pull herself back up and uses her speed to stay a step ahead of Discipline, but her opponent catches up to her and looks to get behind her to lock in the Dunce Cap, her sleeper chokehold. Rios gets behind Discipline, and this time Discipline grabs the ropes, unwilling to be taken for a ride with another german suplex. She turns around and swings a knee into Riosā midsection, only for it to be caught! Rios grabs Discipline and sends her flying across the ring with an exploder suplex! The impact sends Discipline crashing down underneath the bottom rope and to the floor!
Hawke: Holy! What an exploder suplex from Rios there!
Angel: Rios is womanhandling her opponent tonight!
Rios ducks out underneath the rope and stands on the apron, waiting for her moment as Discipline gets back up and turns around! Rios leaps off the apron for a meteora, but Discipline gets her knees up, bringing Riosā momentum to a violent halt with a bicycle knee strike! The crowd pops!
Hawke: Final Bell! Discipline might have just knocked out Rios with that move, catching her with that knee out of nowhere!
Angel: Both wrestlers are down on the outside!
The referee starts counting out both competitors, drawing boos from the crowd as he counts!
...ONE!
...TWO!
Isabel Rios and Mistress Discipline are both beginning to stir and crawl around on the outside of the ring, but itās clear that Discipline has struck paydirt with the knee as drops of Riosā blood begin to populate the floor. The camera catches that her mouth is bleeding as a direct result of the knee from Mistress.
Hawke: That knee strike from Discipline did a number on Isabel!
Angel: You can see it on the replay, Rios gets her knees up for that meteora, but Discipline elevates and knocks her silly with that knee strike. A brutal move there.
...THREE!
...FOUR!
Discipline is the first to her feet, but Rios doesnāt take too much longer to get back up and follow her back into the ring. The two wrestlers stare down, and you can see how badly Riosā lip has been busted by the knee of Discipline. The two women exchange words with one another, and while the microphones donāt pick up whatās said, the camera does catch Discipline leaning back and unloading with a hard slap straight across the face of Rios. Disciplineās supporters let out a loud cheer while Rioās supporters boo, but somehow, Rios manages to stay on her feet. She responds back with a wicked slap of her own, which her fans meet with approval.
The two have entered a test of wills, each taking the time to unload with painful slaps that pop the crowd and echo throughout the arena. Those cheers and boos are quickly replaced with chants of āRi-osā and āMis-tressā as the two obliterate each other.
Hawke: This is a war these two women are in, and theyāre unloading with an absolutely nasty set of strikes.
Angel: You can see the handprints starting to get ingrained in their faces, Iām surprised we havenāt seen any teeth pop out!
Mistress Discipline fires off another slap in the sequence, but Isabel Rios gets underneath of it and looks to trap her in another exploder suplex! Discipline elbows her way out of this one and locks her opponent up, looking for a potentially match-ending powerbomb!
Hawke: Mistress is gearing up for the Expulsion, if she hits this itās goodnight Rios!
Angel: Rios has got to find a way out of this one!
Discipline lifts up Isabel Rios, looking to powerbomb her to the mat, but Rios doesnāt allow herself to hit the mat, instead spinning around and shifting her weight, landing in a reverse STO instead! Rios locks her arms around Disciplineās head and brings the head firmly against her legs, locking in the Koji Clutch!
Hawke: KOJI CLUTCH! Discipline and Rios both finish matches with this move, with Discipline calling it the Detention! Rios has her trapped!
Angel: What a counter from the NPW technician!
Isabel Rios yells at Mistress Discipline to tap as Discipline finds herself trapped in a hold she knows rather well! Discipline can barely move both of her arms as itās hard for her to move with the hold locked in tightt! She has no mobility for her head as Rios tries to choke every ounce of life out of her opponent!
Hawke: Can you imagine what a win this would be for Rios here? What a way to make a global Network debut!
Angel: And what a way this would be for Discipline to lose, submitting to her own hold!
Discipline tries to stretch out and raise her legs to find the ropes, but sheās a good foot short of the ropes! She reaches up to try to fight off Rios, but itās nearly hopeless! Discipline begins to fade!
Hawke: This war of the women might be coming to a close right here!
Angel: That Koji Clutch may be the final salvo!
At the last moment, Discipline uses her free arm to trap Isabel Rioās leg and ankle, popping off the athletic sneaker and beginning to twist Rioās ankle with the free hand! Rios doesnāt want to let up but quickly finds herself in pain, with the situation only getting worse as her grip loosens and Discipline fully transitions into the ankle lock! Mistress worsens the situation by grapevining the leg, sending her fans in an uproar!
Hawke: The Procedure! Mistress pulls out an eleventh hour counter!
Angel: Iāve never seen that counter to the clutch before, and now Discipline is in the driverās seat!
The crowd is on their feet as Mistress Discipline yells at Rios to tap but the scrappy technician isnāt about to give up that easy. She is immense pain as she has no protection against Disciplineās ankle lock!
Hawke: Look at the pain! Mistress is a genius!
Angel: She doesnāt have a masterās in Library Science for nothing!
Rios sees the ropes and manages to army crawl over towards them, diving and successfully finding the freedom of the bottom rope to release the hold! The crowd cheers again!
Hawke: Discipline found a way out of the Koji Clutch, and Rios found a way out of the Procedure!
Angel: Back and forth, whatās this one going to take?
Discipline sits on the mat with her head in her hands for a few seconds, wondering what itās going to take to break Rios or get her down for the three count. She brings herself back up to a standing position and grabs Rios off the mat, not letting her take any more time to massage her potentially injured ankle. She sends Rios into the turnbuckles and looks for another big boot to ice her opponent. She charges in, only for Rios to duck out of the way at the last moment, causing Discipline to catch herself in the ropes! Before long, Isabel Rios scales the top rope, grabbing Discipline with her!
Hawke: Discipline and Rios have found themselves up in the high-rent district, and one of themās going to have to pay for it here!
Angel: This has to be it!
Isabel Rios wipes the sweat off of her brow as the audience rises from their seats, knowing theyāre about to see a big move. She grabs Discipline and wraps her arm around Disciplineās head, looking for a top-rope superplex. Discipline spots this and begins swinging away with gut shots, trying to knock Rios from her perch! Mistress manages to slip out and grabs Rioās head, driving her down to the mat with a top-rope DDT! The crowd roars!
Hawke: What a brutal DDT! Rios went for one too many suplexes, and she just paid what looks to be the ultimate price!
Angel: The cover and the count!
In a last gasp effort, Discipline throws an arm over Rios!
...ONEā¦
...TWOā¦
...THR-Rios gets a foot on the ropes! The crowd launches into cheers!
Hawke: No! Rios somehow, someway, stays alive!
Angel: Discipline has hit her with power move after power move, but it hasnāt been enough!
Discipline looks on in disbelief, her face telling the story as she canāt believe her bloodied opponent wonāt stay down. She rolls Isabel Rios onto her back, looking to put her away with a gogoplata!
Hawke: Mistress has punishment on her mind, looking for the Naughty Child!
Angel: Rios has fought Discipline step-for-step, but this could be dream street for her!
As Discipline lowers herself to the mat for the hold, Rios somersaults forward, trapping her in a pinning position!
...ONEā¦
...TWOā¦
...THR-NO! Discipline kicks out!
Hawke: RIOS GOT-- NO! Discipline kicks out at two and three quarters!
Angel: Rios almost got her with the counter!
Isabel Rios stumbles back to her feet, and an angry Mistress Discipline smacks her knee, ready to lay out her opponent once and for all! Rios turns around, but manages to duck out of the way of the Final Bell! She grabs Discipline from behind in a reverse DDT, hooking her right leg and lifting her up in a suplex before dropping Discipline back onto her shoulders in a cradle pin!
Hawke: Redtail Driver! Redtail Driver!
Angel: Rios got as much as she could out of that one for only having one foot to use! Hereās the count!
...ONE...
...TWOā¦
...THREE!
Bonnie Jenkins: Here is your winner, IIIIISSSAAABEELLLLL RIOOOOOOOOSSSSS!
Hawke: What a match! These two women just put on a clinic!
Angel: What a match? What a war! These two technicians gave it everything they had, and then some!
Hawke: Mistress Discipline hit hard and had a multitude of holds ready for Rios, but in the end Isabel Rios outlasted her opponent and scored a huge win for her career!
Angel: What a way to make your name! Isabel Rios scores a huge win for NPW in this Fed Warfare match!
Rios has her arm raised by the referee. The bloody babyface leaves the ring and heads towards the back, holding her bloody lip as the fans cheer for the new star.
DO YOU LOVE THE SPECTACLE OF WRESTLING?
DO YOU HATE THE PERSON ON PERSON VIOLENCE?
ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO GETS OFF ON CARS? LIKE ... REALLY GETS OFF ON THEM?
WE WON'T JUDGE ... OR TELL ANYONE!
IF THIS IS YOU ... THE XHF NETWORK HAS THE PLACE FOR YOU!
COMPETITIVE AUTOMOTIVE RACING ... OR CAR FOR SHORT!
*The image on screen is of this man:
*
"Well hello denizens of the XHF Network. I am DOCTOR HEINZ DOOFENSHMIRTZ! And I am the financial backer and leader of the CAR racing team called the Angry Mad Chemists. Oh don't worry we aren't really ... chemists. I mean we can be but AMC was just a better acronym ya know? Like Angry Mad Scientists would be better describing us and a better play on words but I mean ... AMS sounds like a disease or a syndrome and we can't have that. The people of Drusselstein would never allow for it! Oh but Doctor Doof I hear you thinking loudly ... yes you in the back ... Erez ... I see you. AND KIRA STOP PLAYING WITH THAT PILLOW! But Doctor Doof ... what is CAR and why should we watch it? I'm GLAD you asked! Sparkle sparkle!"
*He points to his crotch where the golden Cup Cup prize ... a jock strap ... sits snugly on his waist and manhood.*
"For things like THIS! And because everyone loves to watch a destruction derby ... and a race ... and this is both! It's like wrestling but less technical and no chance of seeing someone's teeth in the front row. Because all racing fans have no teeth! Oh don't worry about the insult, by this time the Indoctrinator has endeared me to you so much you're likely nodding in agreement! Some side effects may occur, if your butt grows to more than three times its normal size ... take photos and sell them on OnlyFans."
*He winks his unpatched eye at the camera*
"Well now that the Belle Delphine bathwater plug is out of the way for all you HYPED up fans, let's get to the point. We want you to watch CAR. It is a monthly racing league where we, the AMC, win ALL THE ACCOLADES! AHAHAHAHHA ... *cough* uh yes. It's entertainment of a finer, higher level! Don't take my word for it!"
*He makes a motion to the camera and we cut to Cross Recoba being interviewed, we hear a tell tale hum in the background ...*
"I've got to be honest, when I was approached to get involved with Team Fizzy Pop and their season in CAR, I was pretty sceptical but the guys work hard, the fans have fun, and it's high-octane speed and action from the moment the lights turn green! Totally deserves to get renewed. Co-commentating with Granny was great and the Angry Mad Chemists won....of course, they did...they're the best, they rock, they literally FEEL THE NEED...THE NEED FOR SPEED!"
*The feed cuts again to the next testimonial: we see Primal of NPW leaving some Canadian's house holding a bunch of knitted products seemingly made of butt hair.*
"Cars? I don't care about those. Society and civilization are just constructs. They hold humanity back. We should be taking what we want and throwing everyone else aside and embracing the animals we are ... like the Angry Mad Chemists. They get it, they are the most human of humans. I may have to apply my true face every day to avoid the pain of living a masked life but they ... they are out there corroding conformity and doofing everyone who interferes with them. Truly they are models for humanity to strive for. Especially that William Lastname. There's something about him ... *licks his lips and drools into his copious chest hair* ... yeah they'll do ... wait what?
*Jump cut to a middle aged gentleman with spiky hair and glasses holding onto the AWF Around the Clock Championship ... begrudgingly. He looks around to be sure he isn't going to be attacked. It's the manager extraordinaire to the stars, Eddie Walker!*
"You know, I've been afraid to really do anything involving vehicles a bit because of obvious reasons. But to see people in the Network getting involved in this... on a wrestling network is so bizarre that it's actually intriguing. I do love how they have the... Angry Mad Chemists, you know! They are awesome kids! They really know how to drive those things and are always one of the best there ever was! If you aren't rooting for Angry Mad Chemists, you are WRONG!!"
*We again jump cut to another testimonial: everyone's favorite Puerto Rican teen who looks like a middle aged Eastern European man Pepe Morales*
"I'm no fancy former X-Crown champion, just an average independent - more fan zan wrestler. Speaking as a fan, when it comes to watching sports entertainment on ze XHF Network, zere is no choice, only CAR. Advocating for ze burning of fossil fuel, you might zink CAR was out of touch with ze rest of ze world, but speaking as a teenage boy, zey have ze admiration of ZIS YOUTH market. My short attention span has been completely enthralled by Ze Angry Mad Chemists, who are sensational. Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz isn't just my plastic surgeon, he's also ze hottest ticket in ze XHF. I'd do anything to get my angry mad chemical fix... (beat) even watch CAR."
*Another jump, another testimonial. It's a 'two for one' this time, as we see the Ace of the AWF Bloodied Fox alongside his husband, JROK's own Brendan Harding.*
"Hi folks. Now, you may assume that the only race we'd be into involves RuPaul, but that couldn't be more wrong."
*Brendon facepalms.*
"Hon, can we not start the testimonial accusing the viewers of homophobic stereotyping? Also we do watch Drag Race."
*Fox waves him off.*
"Eh, it was too good a line to pass up. Anyway, Brendon and I are both big time CAR fans, avidly waiting for each month's thrilling race. Excitement, explosions, a himbo werewolf we may or may not have had a threesome with recently, and best of all, those wonderful Angry Mad Chemists!"
*Fox stares off dreamily into the distance.*
"Yes, that William Lastname. So handsome; so bottom-heavy..."
*Brendon also stares off dreamily into the distance. The screen cuts to a living room where a large man with what appears to be a large foam head and a postman's uniform is sitting. He has on a Destiny Wrestling shirt. It's Pat the Postman!*
"CAR helped this lonely postman learn how to supercharge and upgrade my van. Not only that, it's the greatest racing promotion on earth! Me and jess just love it! Oh and those chemists? What amazing racers!"
*We finally cut to the final testimonial ... from the owner of the XHF Network himself. Mongo the Destroyer.*
"CAR? The racing league in the Network? Itās a fascinating bit of diversification on our listings.... That said, wow is it painful on the balance sheet! I didnāt realize approaching racing from the same perspective as the Xtreme Hardcore Federationās view on violence would cost so much in liabilit- wait....XHF year one.....oh wow. Yeah no, that was definitely an oversight on my part. But the races sure are fun to watch. Especially those....Angry Mad Chemists....yes.....there are really good. ALL SHOULD WATCH AND ADMIRE THE ANGRY MAD CHEMISTS. ANGRY MAD CHEMISTS ARE LOVE, LOVE IS ANGRY MAD CHEMISTS...."
*Mongo begins to stare off into space, he shakes his head*
"So you really like the Angry Mad Chemists then?"
"The who? Are they the one with the furry?"
"Now I donāt know which team youāre talking about"
"What? Itās not like thereās multiple furry teams"
"......."
*Mongo stares off into space as we cut to the little old lady who runs CAR, Grandma Mary or Memaw to her granddaughters, seated on a rocking chair with a singed fire blanket upon her lap.*
"CAR is a once a month, fun adventure course for all wheeled vehicles that follow our strict safety rules. Our main title is the Sippy Cup, for which race crews must first qualify. However, don't let that scare you off; we have other racing cups including the chest prosthetic known as the Silicone Cup for XHF events, and the golden Athletic Cup, sometimes referred to as the Cup Cup."
*A loud pop is followed by a man's scream off screen but the seated lady merely glances in the direction the noise originated.*
"As you can hear, my Forest Force is working hard on my latest ideas for the February race. It is shaping up to be a wonderful expression of love."
*A horrible screeching of metal on metal is audible.*
"Just some minor kinks to work through and it will be all set. I'm looking forward to seeing how our wonderful crews will excel through the course. For anyone who hasn't seen the Angry Mad Chemists in action, you should."
*We cut back to the arena*
The lights go out as āHells Bellsā by AC/DC start up and fade to blue and the fireworks start to go off as Stuart Ratliff walks out from the back wearing his signature leather jacket, He poses a bit for the crowd as he makes his way to the ring and enters it.
Hart: Welcome back to Team WWX, up next we have Stuart Ratliff and Xavier Pendragon vs Jake Devine and Jarvis Valentine!
The lights come back up as āThe Last Dragonā by Dwight David and out walks Xavier Pendragon as he makes his way to the ring.
Jake Devine then comes out.
āKiller be killerā by Deconstruction Self-Destruction erupts over the PA system waking everyone from their thoughts. As the roar of the crowd begins to peak, Jarvis walks out from the back to the open arena. The roar peaks with this event, Jarvis takes off running down to the ring. He slides into the ring before popping to a standing position. He poses for the crowd for a moment before heading to his corner.
WWX Exclusive Tag Team Match
One Fall Match
Stuart Ratliff and Xavier Pendragon vs Jake Devine and Jarvis Valentine
One Fall Match
Stuart Ratliff and Xavier Pendragon vs Jake Devine and Jarvis Valentine
DING DING DING
Hart: And the match starts right away!
All four mean look at each other yelling about who is going to start as the ref then adds his two cents and Xavier and Jarvis both are left in the ring with the ref. Both men size each other up as the circle each other and finally tie up. Xavier then whips Jarvis into the ropes and stands for a shoulder block as both men do not budge. Jarvis then runs to the ropes again and bounces off for another shoulder block and both men are still standing. Xavier then walks over to Stuart and tags him in.
Lane: With Coliseum Cup coming up, anyone here to be the expected dark horse?
Hart: Couldnāt tell you so far, but being that each individual has returned with equal rust, anything is possible.
Stuart and Jarvis then look at each other and they tie up with Jarvis slipping behind into a hammer lock and applies pressure as Stuart is grimacing with pain as Jarvis wrenches the hold even deeper. Jarvis then pushes Stuart into the ropes and falls back as Stuart holds onto the ropes as Jarvis bounces back to the ropes and Jake tags himself in and Jarvis says some words as the ref breaks it up and Stuart getās in some punches while the ref is distracted.
Lane: Dirty tactics put into effect here as Stuart looks to soften up Jarvis.
The ref turns as Jarvis finally calms down and Jake gets a smile on his face. Jake then springs off the ropes as Stuart is gibber jawing and getās hit with a Lou theze press and starts to pound into Stuart.
Jake stands up and readyās himself and hits the Kingās style outa nowhere and makes the cover.
1
2
3
Ding ding ding.
Hart: Jake Devine getting the win heading into Ravage!