Post by johndoe on Feb 4, 2021 16:29:39 GMT -5
-Joe Blow is seen backstage at the arena looking around, for what the world may never know. Maybe a chance to harass a person, maybe for some food, or maybe just to waste time. Regardless he meanders his way over to the card sheet for the next show. Of course, his name is on it which causes him to shake his head. He ponders if these people will ever learn and if they will ever just cut their losses.
He looks around again, this time with much more precision until his eyes happen upon a marker. He takes it, and writes at the bottom of it “BB GUNN Donkey Show” at the top of the page. He smirks and continues, adding a horrible rendition of what that would look like at the bottom. Satisfied with this piece of protest art, he just drops the marker and walks on.
He spots a camera crew after a while interviewing another talent. He simply watches, scratching his testicles and grunting loudly to be as obnoxious as possible. After several failed takes, the performer throws their hands up and tells the crew to just come back later. Smugly, Joe shouts out:-
“Thanks! Now you losers can film something for me.”
-He motions to the assortment of operators to draw near, and despite them looking at each other for any type of excuse, they can form none and comply.-
“Alright folks, welcome to class...wait no can’t do that anymore, Robber Arnold and Leon Can’t are on that kick. Oh well, they can have my sloppy seconds. I’m gonna need to reach deeper in my bag of tricks. Show the world what a world class orator looks like. And looks like BB Gunn actually did something interesting for once in his career and paired me up with Storm...Tom...you know what who gives a shit what he calls himself. You can call a turd a tootsie roll but it will still taste like shit.
“Speaking of shit, that boy is so full of it. Welcome back, oh legend of debauchery. Glad to see a man who paved the way for the likes of Jabroni, Parker, and of course myself come down to swamps of nawlans. In fact, an outside observer would say you are the three of us ramped to eleven with way more to show for it. But we both know that’s a horrible take.
“These are only surface level comparisons between you and I. The main difference of course being you’re doing this for fame, I’m only here to prove a point. You don’t stand for anything, hollow and washed up. You got a contract to keep yourself on the stage and in the public eye. The rest of your schtick just comes from being a slave to the system. Yes all that partying is the spoils of your fame, and you know that.
“But I know you're a man with a flair for the dramatic, and a man like you I can use. So I will offer you something. You see, I have been on something of a mission lately. If they keep insisting on making me get in the ring, then I am determined to put on the show that I want to. I will get on the mat and let you pin me. However it comes at a price!
“All you have to do is piss on people ringside before lock up. Should be simple enough for a time tested degenerate right? What a grand way to re-enter the wrestling world! You get what you want, and I get what I want! That’s business! And don’t worry about NLW firing you, we both know legends are hard to come by. Balls in your court. But I can assure you, if you don’t do it, I WILL and then maybe even think about beating you too for your insolence. Maybe so badly that you'll go back to rehab for the ten millionth time. So from Blow to Crow, let’s put on a hell of a show!”
-Blow grabs an imaginary thing in front of himself and mimes the act of urinating, twisting side to side, grin matching. He even takes some time to shake it.-
He looks around again, this time with much more precision until his eyes happen upon a marker. He takes it, and writes at the bottom of it “BB GUNN Donkey Show” at the top of the page. He smirks and continues, adding a horrible rendition of what that would look like at the bottom. Satisfied with this piece of protest art, he just drops the marker and walks on.
He spots a camera crew after a while interviewing another talent. He simply watches, scratching his testicles and grunting loudly to be as obnoxious as possible. After several failed takes, the performer throws their hands up and tells the crew to just come back later. Smugly, Joe shouts out:-
“Thanks! Now you losers can film something for me.”
-He motions to the assortment of operators to draw near, and despite them looking at each other for any type of excuse, they can form none and comply.-
“Alright folks, welcome to class...wait no can’t do that anymore, Robber Arnold and Leon Can’t are on that kick. Oh well, they can have my sloppy seconds. I’m gonna need to reach deeper in my bag of tricks. Show the world what a world class orator looks like. And looks like BB Gunn actually did something interesting for once in his career and paired me up with Storm...Tom...you know what who gives a shit what he calls himself. You can call a turd a tootsie roll but it will still taste like shit.
“Speaking of shit, that boy is so full of it. Welcome back, oh legend of debauchery. Glad to see a man who paved the way for the likes of Jabroni, Parker, and of course myself come down to swamps of nawlans. In fact, an outside observer would say you are the three of us ramped to eleven with way more to show for it. But we both know that’s a horrible take.
“These are only surface level comparisons between you and I. The main difference of course being you’re doing this for fame, I’m only here to prove a point. You don’t stand for anything, hollow and washed up. You got a contract to keep yourself on the stage and in the public eye. The rest of your schtick just comes from being a slave to the system. Yes all that partying is the spoils of your fame, and you know that.
“But I know you're a man with a flair for the dramatic, and a man like you I can use. So I will offer you something. You see, I have been on something of a mission lately. If they keep insisting on making me get in the ring, then I am determined to put on the show that I want to. I will get on the mat and let you pin me. However it comes at a price!
“All you have to do is piss on people ringside before lock up. Should be simple enough for a time tested degenerate right? What a grand way to re-enter the wrestling world! You get what you want, and I get what I want! That’s business! And don’t worry about NLW firing you, we both know legends are hard to come by. Balls in your court. But I can assure you, if you don’t do it, I WILL and then maybe even think about beating you too for your insolence. Maybe so badly that you'll go back to rehab for the ten millionth time. So from Blow to Crow, let’s put on a hell of a show!”
-Blow grabs an imaginary thing in front of himself and mimes the act of urinating, twisting side to side, grin matching. He even takes some time to shake it.-