Battleground #35 : New Horizons (Show)

[vastrix]

“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins playing as Armand von Krauss walks out from the back. He looks around at the booing crowd with an arrogant smirk before he lights an Egyptian cigarette and makes his way down to the ring

Jeremy Tucker: What now? It isn’t his match time yet?

Andrew Fulton: Perhaps he has something to say again.

Jeremy Tucker: Perhaps we don’t want to hear what he has to say?

Andrew Fulton: I mean he was the self made commissioner of the company. I wouldn’t mess with him if I were you.

Jeremy Tucker: Armand steps into the ring, commanding the attention of the fans as if he were to own the place.

Andrew Fulton: He owns part of the place. I don’t recall how much, but not enough to sway a vote in his favor it seems.

Jeremy Tucker: Armand is handed a microphone and he flicks his cigarette butt into the crowd. What an ass!

Andrew Fulton: Maybe he was just sharing with the audience. Those Egyptian cigarettes are like twice the cost of a regular one and they have special flavors like honey and molasses in them.

Armand von Krauss: So, Death Trap. You think that you can manage yourself alone against me. That’s fine. I will enjoy crushing you body and spirit to get you sent out of the cage in a stretcher. I don’t know how exactly they will do this feat exactly, but know that you will be unresponsive as they carry your body to the back.

Jeremy Tucker: Armand does remember that Death Trap has defeated him once before in Jrok? That was after Death Trap had to face Gabriel Tuck and Sticky the Clown in the ring.

Andrew Fulton: That was just a “regular match”. This is a stretcher match inside of a steel cage. Totally different animal.

Armand von Krauss: Understand something, David. Do you mind if I call you David? You won’t be leaving tonight as a man capable of wrestling in a ring ever again. You will not be capable of doing much of anything in the ring ever again. Not only will I use my echte Kampfkünste against you in the ring to break you, but my friends will meet you in the medical room. You remember my friends. Right, David?

Jeremy Tucker: Look at the entrance stage? Armand’s minions are coming out!

Andrew Fulton: Sir Monocle, Sticky the Clown, Gabriel Tuck, Hehehe, and Hahaha are all on the entrance stage.

Armand von Krauss: They will wait for you to wake up, David. They will wait for you to wake up and then they will start disassembling you a limb at a time. They will break your arms. They will break your legs. They will break your ribs and your collar bone. If you survive the journey to the hospital, you will never be the same again. Never enter a wrestling ring under your own power ever again.

Jeremy Tucker: This is insane. Armand is threatening to end Death Trap’s career and maybe even his life!

Andrew Fulton: Haven’t you seen Supremacy? Armand is used to dealing in absolutes. Life or death situations. This wrestling biz is just playtime for him.

Armand von Krauss: I want to address one more thing before I head to the back to prepare for crushing Death Trap. This goes to everyone in the back. I don’t care what the board says. I don’t care what Jonnie Valentine thinks. I am the Commissioner of SWAT. Ihr Leute will do what I say when it comes to this company.

Jeremy Tucker: What is this nonsense? First he says that he’s going to crush Death Trap and now he wants to rule over SWAT? Has he lost his mind?

Andrew Tucker: No, it’s genius! This could force Jonnie Valentine into a confrontation over the soul of the company!

Jeremy Tucker: Or, Jonnie could simply ignore Armand since he has no official power.

Andrew Fulton: I would say that would be a dangerous ploy by Jonnie since the KGB has a lot of power in numbers.

Armand von Krauss: Remember, follow what I say or there will be trouble.

“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins again as Armand von Krauss makes his way to the back.

Jeremy Tucker: Armand has lost his mind.

Andrew Fulton: Or, hear me out, he could be laying down a great strategy.

[SWAT Team]

[We return to the ring where new Commissioner ‘Nothing But A GM Thing’ Jonnie Valentine is standing by with an intern holding a big novelty check. The crowd is cheering Jonnie]

‘Nothing But A GM Thing’ Jonnie Valentine: Thank you. Now...

(The Memphis crowd chants "JONNIE!! JONNIE!! JONNIE!!")

Jonnie Valentine: Thank you. At last month's No Man’s Land, Canada’s own Isabel Rios came and defeated Blaze Freya, Kristy McKinney, and then "Lucky" Linda in the final. She came out of nowhere to shoot to the top of the SWAT Women's division. Now it is my privilege as The Commish to present her with this huge TWO MILLION DOLLAR check! Wow, two million?! How do we only have Lunchables in catering? Speaking of which, as I'm sure you all read on the dirtsheet sites, our coiffers are a little emptier than they should be from my predecessor, Zoran, fleecing the place dry. So we are very thankful to former shareholder Angela for generously donating the prize money tonight.

(The Memphis crowd cheers and whistles)

Jonnie Valentine: So without further ado, I'd like to ask the lovely Isabel to come down accept this grotesquely large check, both literally and figuratively.

The lights dim and then begin to pulse along with the opening guitar riff of ‘Bounce’ by Danko Jones as the drums hit Rios steps through the curtain, head down, the grappler bouncing on the balls of her feet. Then Jonnie shakes her hand and presents her the novelty check.

Isabel Rios : “I guess, first and foremost, I just want to say thank you. To SWAT for giving me a spot in the tournament, to Angela for putting her money towards this… just fucking ridiculous cheque, really. I’d like to give my regards to Blaze Freya, Kirsty McKinney and Linda LaFey; all three of those matches could’ve gone either way and it could easily have been any of you standing up here. And to the fans out there who were cheering for me from the opening bell of that first match, and for all the ones who weren't then but were by the end of the night, I appreciate all of you, so thanks!”

“And I’d like to shout out to Nicole Anderson. Waddup Kid Dynamite, congrats on taking that gold at No Man’s Land. It’s gonna be a hell of a fight when you and I get together. Dare I say explosive? No, because that’s too cheesy even for me, but when the time comes and we scrap for that title, it’s gonna be something people remember for a long time, I’m damn sure of that.”

[WHAM!]

[From pretty much nowhere a figure burst into the ring and cannons into Isabel knocking her down.]

Jeremy Tucker : What is this? What just happened?

Andrew Fulton : Someone came in the ring and took out Rios Jerry!

Jeremy Tucker : Someone? Who? It happened so fast, one minute no one, next right in there like they just appeared?

[We see a figure stand up, Rios down in a heap.]

Andrew Fulton : IT’S JOANNE CANELLI!

Jeremy Tucker : WOW! Canelli is back! She starts stomping on Rios. Vicious stomps.

Andrew Fulton : Canelli is crashing the party!

Jeremy Tucker : She hasn’t been seen in SWAT for months.

Andrew Fulton : She looks GREAT!

[Jonnie Valentine high tails it to the back as more stomps by Joanne and then she picks up Rios and clocks her with a huge brass knuckle ring punch to the face. Joanne then picks up Isabel and plants her with a Super reverse Tombstone Piledriver.]

Joanne Canelli : Well, well, well... Look who's back! I never did say that I would leave for good now did I?

I've been watchin' and the KGB are as strong as ever, now …. the boss is back!

[The crowd is mixed with cheers and boos as she looks around at the crowd.]

Joanne : Now what I did to your so called champion was just a warnin'. I plan on takin' every piece of gold in this company with my boys at my side. It's time to show the locker room that we are better than they will ever be! And if anyone thinks they can stop us then come and try to stop us.

[Joanne drops the mic and power walks towards the locker room, Isabel barely moving grabs the mic and leans up towards her before she exits.]

Isabel Rios : “Hey, Joanie Cannoli! You wanna come out here and wreck shit when I’m trying to be magnanimous in my moment of celebration, that’s fine, maybe back in the day that was the only way to get someone’s attention. But for me? All you had to do was ask. Anytime you want, anyplace you want, I’m ready when you are.”

[SWAT Team]

Frank Salazar : The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL!

UFC Remix plays as Tong Fairtex comes to the ringside accompanied by his brother, Phantam Fairtex. He does a brief dance before going to each corner to say a brief prayer before going to his corner jumping up and down slapping his body, chest and face glaring as he is introduced and his brother is in his corner talking and psyching him up as he also gives him instructions.

Frank Salazar : Entering first, being accompanied by his brother Phantam Fairtex, wrestling out of Bangkok, Thailand … at six feet, two hundred thirty-five pounds … TONG FAIRTEX!

Andrew Fulton : All the violence these fools are going to suffer could have been avoided if they’d just sold their stock to Armand.

Jeremy Tucker : Because Armand seems like a completely reasonable guy who would just buy the stock and never bother them again …

Andrew Fulton : EXACTLY! Now Frostbite’s gonna maim them.

‘Seek and Destroy’ by Metallica hits the speakers. We see lotus flying on the tron for a few seconds as more and more join in, until day turns to night as the image fades out, and the next image you see is tanks firing in the air, and right after that image we see soldiers walking in unison and that image fades out and another of a huge nuclear explosion as you see nothing but ashes and dust of a city. The lights in the arena go completely dark for a few seconds as it comes back up a blue light is seen up the show of the steps as someone is standing up there wearing a gray hoodie with their head down. As they slowly pick up their head, we can see an intense look in their blue eyes, we see that it is Frostbite. He takes a walk down the steps as fans reached out to touch his hands or his broad shoulders. As he stops midway looking into the crowd as he nods his head as the crowd chants his name. He gets to the bottom of the step, he climbs over the barricade. He quickly takes off his hoodie and hands it over to some fan at ringside. He turns his attention to the ring and his opponent with an intense look in his blue eyes. He begins to climb the steps and jumps over the top ropes. He continues to look at his opponent not taking his eyes off of his opponent as the lights turns back to normal and his music fades as he is ready for a war.

Frank Salazar : And his opponent, representing the Kross Global Bandits … fighting out of Boulder, Colorado, at six feet two inches and two hundred twenty-five pounds … FROSTBITE!

Frostbite stares daggers into Tong, who returns the stare in kind. The ref calls for the bell.

Andrew Fulton : And we are under way. How do you think Frostbite murders them Jerry? I bet there’s fire involved.

Jeremy Tucker : Frostbite has certainly been unhinged lately. He took out the then World Champ by putting him through a flaming table. He has also been talking to an image of the title Rally Jackson wears…

Andrew Fulton : THAT’S HIS WOMAN JERRY! Stop with the disrespect of he’ll burn you too.

Jeremy Tucker : Well that is immaterial as Tong starts off breaking the collar and elbow tie up to send a few stiff forearms to the face of Frostbite.

Andrew Fulton : The Cold Hearted Bastard strikes back with some real nice knife edge chops.

[The crowd woos]

Andrew Fulton : Damn right woo! Frostbite ducks a discus elbow strike and hits a jawbreaker sending Tong back like the coward he is!

Jeremy Tucker : Frosty is focused tonight and wasting little time to follow it up with a flying forearm. Oh but a follow-up elbow drop is avoided.

Andrew Fulton : I don’t think Tong has what it takes to handle Frosty here. I bet that bastard brother of his gets involved.

[Phantam is standing, arms crossed, at ringside doing nothing remotely illegal …]

Jeremy Tucker : Tong takes advantage of the miss with a quick sleeper. Frostbite manages to power to his feet but Tong transitions to an atomic drop.

Andrew Fulton : NOT FROSTBITE’S SNOWBALLS! … Er ..

[He coughs to cover his statement]

Jeremy Tucker : Tong spins him into a lightning fast belly to belly.

Andrew Fulton : Look at Frosty shaking it off like the champ he deserves to be! Frosty manages to counter a double axe handle into a full nelson. He promptly converts that into a BEAUTIFUL dragon suplex!

Jeremy Tucker : These two are really bringing it in the early goings here. Frostbite is a master at counter wrestling and Tong is a master submissionist and martial artist. It’ll be interesting to see what gives first.

Andrew Fulton : Is he … Is Tong asking for a test of strength?

[Indeed Tong pushes to his feet and goads Frostbite into the test of strength. He converts this into a Greco-Roman Knuckle Lock as Frostbite growls in pain.]

Jeremy Tucker : Oh my, what a pair of Muay Thai knee strikes from Tong. And now a textbook suplex into a front chancery submission.

Andrew Fulton : Frostbite is a genius, I’m sure his woman told him to expect this!

Jeremy Tucker : … the still image of the title belt? Andrew come on.

Andrew Fulton : WELL LOOK! He’s rocking back and forth like a belt might do! And he manages to pull himself free!

Jeremy Tucker : And he eats another knee strike for his troubles.

[Tong grabs the arm of the stunned Frostbite and pushes him to the ropes, then strains to whip him off the opposite ropes. He runs at Frostbite with a running lariat sending him over the ropes to the floor.]

Jeremy Tucker : Tong waits for Frostbite to stand. Oh a somersault over the ropes looking for a splash.

Andrew Fulton : Intercepted by Frostbite with a massive European Uppercut to the flying foe! Look at Frosty work over the body of Tong! Strikes left and right.

Jeremy Tucker : Ooof and hard into the ring apron with a shoulder barge. And now a whip into the barricade.

Andrew Fulton : What is Phantam doing? He’s jawing at the future champ! Ref get this guy out of here!

Jeremy Tucker : Well he distracted Frostbite enough to let Tong crawl to the ring steps. Frostbite moves in and Tong plays possum then slides through his legs and clips them sending Frosty face first into the steps! What a strategy.

Andrew Fulton : REF! Those are illegal kicks to the ribs! Get them into the ring man! Control the action! Disqualify that Fairtex!

[Tong pulls Frostbite to his feet and then rolls him into the ring. This time he hits a somersault splash over the ropes and pins.]

ONE!

TWO!

Kickout from Frostbite!

Jeremy Tucker : The ref signals only two! Tong stays on the offensive though with a knee bar locked in! Trying to sap the strength from the legs is a good strategy.

Andrew Fulton : Fair play. Hard to use power if you can’t stand. Still Frostbite quickly gets to the ropes like the genius he is.

[The ref gets to four before Tong releases the hold and gets admonished. As he does Phantam starts jawing at Frostbite. Frostbite seems to get angry but doesn’t take the bait.]

Jeremy Tucker : Tong now has the abdominal stretch locked in! Frostbite is in trouble here.

Andrew Fulton : Bah he won’t give up! There see? A hiptoss counter!

Jeremy Tucker : Indeed. And now Frostbite is on the offensive. He starts to stomp every exposed limb of Tong. Tong rolling to his feet.

Andrew Fulton : Oh repeating headbutts from Frostbite! How vicious. Look at Phantam shouting again. Now Frosty laughs at him as he sets up for a Hail Storm!

Jeremy Tucker : No! Tong reverses with a back body drop over the ropes and Frostbite crashes hard to the outside.

[The ref again intercepts Tong to admonish him allowing Phantam to get in Frostbite’s face. Frostbite slaps him. Phantam sees the ref and steps back with a scowl. Tong rolls out of the ring and trades punches with Frostbite before hitting him with a Muay Thai style dropkick sending him hard into the barricade.]

Jeremy Tucker : Tong really laying into Frostbite with the martial arts strikes. The ref is at 6 and Tong rolls into the ring and starts talking to the ref.

Andrew Fulton : What is this!? Phantam just blasted Frostbite with a Bull Run spear! And now he’s acting all innocent. What a load of crap!

Jeremy Tucker : Tong rolls back out of the ring and opens a can of whoop ass on Frostbite, sitting against the ring steps. The ref again admonishing him.

Andrew Fulton : Tong rolls into and out of the ring to reset the count here and immediately mounts Frostbite with a ground and pound. The humanity Jeremy! Make it stop!

Jeremy Tucker : Oh and Frostbite manages to shift the battle with a thumb to the eye with the ref’s vision blocked by Tong’s body. And now he rolls Tong off of him and crawls up the steps.

Andrew Fulton : Look at Phantam distracting the referee. Wait, Frostbite just dove off the steps and attacked Phantam with a flying clothesline. Do you think they can sense when the other twin is in pain?

Jeremy Tucker : Ooof. Yeah they can on that one. Their heads just got smacked together by Frostbite. The ref is admonishing him.

[Frostbite laughs and grabs Phantam and hits a snap suplex into the steel steps. Phantam crumples in a heap.]

Andrew Fulton : See? Problem solver Frostbite! He’ll get his woman eventually Tucker!

Jeremy Tucker : Well Tong isn’t taking that too kindly as he strikes from behind. In fact I think he managed to hit a low blow without the ref seeing. Frostbite rolled into the ring!

[Tong covers]

ONE!

TWO!

Kickout by Frostbite.

Jeremy Tucker : Tong nearly had the win there. Frostbite was so focused on removing the distraction at ringside that he nearly lost this match.

Andrew Fulton : These cheating Fairtex brothers …

Jeremy Tucker : Tong has Frostbite to his knees and unloads on him with a running knee. He has a Kimura locked in.

Andrew Fulton : COME ON FROSTY YOU CAN ESCAPE!

Jeremy Tucker : And he does. He manages to get the ropes and the ref breaks the hold. But Tong yanks him away and locks in a knee bar again.

[Frostbite struggles and after a little while manages to bridge up and force a pin situation.]

One!

Tong breaks the hold.

[Tong stomps on Frostbite but Frostbite manages to yank him down by his ankle and lock in a half crab.]

Andrew Fulton : Frostbite trying to use a submission to get his wind back. Smart move.

Jeremy Tucker : Tong however reverses out of it sending Frostbite stumbling towards the ref. Wait Tong is to his feet and charges!

Andrew Fulton : Frostbite dodged and Tong just KO’d the ref with a clothesline from hell! Frostbite wastes no time grabbing him and launching him over the top rope with a fall away slam!

Jeremy Tucker : Tong took that impact hard. Frostbite waits for him to stand and launches over the ropes to the apron and springboards off with a double knee facebuster!

Andrew Fulton : Looks like he figured out how to crack the code to beat the Fairtex brothers!

[Frostbite sees the carnage and laughs. The ref is still down. He grabs Tong and whips him into the steel steps then looks under the ring. He pulls out a table and stares at it with a sickening look in his eyes.]

Jeremy Tucker : Uh oh, Frostbite is going to that dark place again.

Andrew Fulton : Yep he’s set the table up and … yep he set it on fire!

Jeremy Tucker : We’re going to need a medic out here. He’s got Tong up for the Snowstorm!

Andrew Fulton : WHAT THE HELL!? Phantam just sprayed the table and Frostbite with a fire extinguisher and kicked the table out of the way. Tong dropped safely to the floor!

Jeremy Tucker : Phantam checks on his brother then turns. He swings the fire extinguisher but Frostbite manages to avoid it and backfist Phantam in the face. Oh he looks mad as a whole nest of hornets.

Andrew Fulton : He has Phantam by the throat. Oh my he just hit a pumphandle slam through the table! It was sideways! Phantam’s ribs have to be broken.

[Frostbite roars in victory at Phantam and looks for more tables and palms his lighter.]

Jeremy Tucker : Wait it’s Tong! He just hit a muay thai superkick and Frostbite’s lighter got launched into the crowd.

Andrew Fulton : But Frostbite hits a low blow and rolls him in the ring. The ref is coming to.

Jeremy Tucker : Tong is barely able to stand he’s in so much pain. Uh oh …

Andrew Fulton : SNOWSTORM BABY!

ONE!


TWO!


THREE!!!!!

Frank Salazar : Your winner by pinfall … FROSTBITE!

[Union Jack]

To The Border!

A video package plays on the tron, showing a dark night where we join 'Our Hero' surrounded by darkness and crouching low amongst scrub and half dead bushes, watching cautiously as a set of headlights from an approaching vehicle draws nearer. His bright eyes shone in the darkness and suddenly the blue sequins of his mask caught the light, momentarily betraying his position. He ducked and his breath caught in his throat as he waited to see if he had been discovered. Instinctively his hand went to the large bag that rested at his feet and he gripped its handles, ready should he needed to make a break for it.

Our Hero -“Go. Just go.”

He absentmindedly mumbled the instruction to himself, but the tightly coiled muscles in his legs refused to comply. Moments later, his fears were realized as the Pickup truck pulled off the road and rolled to a stop nearby. He dropped his head lower and dragged he bag closer as he watched carefully.

A large man climbed out of the cab with an audible groan, affixed the cowboy hat on his head, placed two balled fists to the small of his back and arched. His bones popped like gunfire in the silence that surrounded them and the plume of his breath in the cold night air formed a momentary halo around his head.

Our Hero -“A sign.”

Our Unseen Hero whispered to himself hopefully.

Satisfied and suitably stretched, the man stomped his feet across the scrub land toward Our Hero... lite clouds of dust and small stones kicking up around his feet. He stopped on the other side of the bush - Too close, much too close - and unfurled his meaty girth. A loud sigh filled the night air as he relieved himself. Our Hero averted his eyes and pressed his lips tightly together against the intrusion of the splashing salty moisture. The sigh continued for what felt like forever as the Cowboy's eyes turned toward the heavens. Slowly his head lowered, the sigh elongated as the passage of time slowed to a crawl before the inevitable.....

Cowboy -“HOLY FUCK!”

The man screamed, stumbled, flailed and finally fell backward in the dirt. He quickly pulled pulled his hat from his head and waved it in front of his manhood in an instinctive attempt to preserve his modesty. His bladder, however, had yet to receive the message and the front of his faded and worn blue jeans darkened.

Cautiously, Our Hero rose to his feet, his hand elevated in a friendly wave.

Our Hero -“Hola.” He croaked nervously, before coughing to clear his throat. “Please, Mr... don't send me back!”

Cowboy -“Send you back?!” The man barked angrily. “You lucky I aint shoot ya! Sneaking around in the dark like some god'amned...”

His protestation's trailed off as he pulled himself to his feet and quickly re-dressed, pushing his hat back onto his head even before slipping little 'Large Man' away. His face reddened when he realized the absurdity of his priorities, but it was too late to do anything differently.

Cowboy -“Where the heck am I 'posed to be sendin' ya anyways?!” He demanded. “This here's Texarkana! The nearest boarder is damned near six hundred miles away!”

Our Hero -“You mean...”Our Hero's eyes brightened in the darkness and a wide grin spread across his face.“...We made it?”

Cowboy -“Sure.”

The Large Man's reply was gruff and came through gritted teeth. He groaned and started tugging at his jeans in annoyance, suddenly aware of the now cold wet patch. Our Hero hoisted the large bag high into the air and shook it violently as he danced happily in the the darkness.

Our Hero -“You hear that?! We made it! We made it!”

Cowboy -“Yea; You made it!” The large man repeated and stomped toward his truck. “You're lucky you aint froze to death though!”

Our Hero - “Oh, I'm used to the cold.” Our Hero replied with a shrug and an earnest smile. “I am British after all.”

Cowboy -“British?” He asked incredulously as he stopped in his tracks and looked back over his shoulder. “Then why the heck you sneaking around in the dark and worrying 'bout boarders and bein' sent back like a Mexican?”

Our Hero -“Dunno” Our Hero shrugged and enthusiastically licked his lips “Isn't that what you people do?”

A shocked look washes over the cowboy's face.

Cowboy -“Boy... It aint too late to shoot you.”

Our Hero -“My point exactly!” The Masked Hero quips with a smile.

Cowboy -“You better get in that damn truck 'afore I change my mind and let you freeze to death!”

Again Our Hero hoists the bag up and shakes it triumphantly.

Our Hero -“Hear that?! We're going to AMERICA!”

He rushes around the truck and climbs excitedly into the passenger side of the cab. He slams the door closed as the Cowboy climbs in beside him.

Cowboy -“I told ya once, you're already in America!”

Our Hero -“Yeah, but...” Out Hero shrugs “Everyone knows Texas doesn't really count!”

[thecomedian]

<We fade in to "The Golden God" Rally Jackson backstage at SWAT on his phone.  He doesn't realize the cameras are on him.>

Rally Jackson:  .... so that's why I went back to women.

::you hear someone else on the other line, but can't make out what they're saying::

I'm at my other job.  My side hustle.  I've been back doing this pro wrestling shit for over a year now.

::you hear laughter on the other end::

Don't laugh.  Chill.  It's a job.  They made me champion.  Twice!  And gave me a bunch of other titles.

::"But you're fucking fat."::

Yeah, but what can I say I'm still the best.  This last guy I won the title from, I can't tell whether he was a luchador or a part of the cast of Narcos.  Don't care, I just sat on him.

::"There has to be younger talent, rather than pushing some overweight guy in his 50's."::

You would think.  That's not even the best part, the best part is I'm making _bank_.  They are paying me _good_.  To roll down to the ring once a month and do a belly flop on some poor sap.  Doctors say I have the body of an eighty year old man and here I am beating twenty year olds.  Jokes on you, doc, how many three hundred pound eighty year old men do you know?

::incoherent on the other end::

Oh don't worry, I am being careful.  They offer great healthcare too.  And despite being champion, they give me an easy schedule.  Last week was the Mandalorian and this week I'm fighting some chick.

::"And you're ok fighting a woman?"::

Well who am I to argue with Joe Biden?  Anyway, it's so easy to steal from this place too.  Constantly leaving expensive equipment around that I just have my bodyguard haul out to my truck so I can sell later on ebay.  I've been forging these other guys autographs too.  But I had to put the kabosh on that when I got caught spelling their name wrong.

::"Always double check the spelling."::

I just have to watch what I say all the time.  Cancel culture, you get it.  I've spent more time doing sensitivity training than I have in the actual ring.  And the chairs they make you sit in, so uncomfortable.  I damn near got fired when I paid a stripper to leave me a floater, but she accidentally went to the head of the company's bathroom instead.  Was difficult to explain.

::"I always tell you to leave clear directions and never pay up front."::

True, you're right.  Well, thanks mom, but I have to get going.  I have to go play the role of Ike Turner in a little bit.  Better get ready.

<Rally hangs up the phone.  Bryan Gordon walks by with expensive equipment.>

Bryan Gordon:  Where do I put this?

Rally Jackson:  Just bring it out to the truck.  Put it next to the Freddy P autographs.  I might photoshop Chico and the Man's kid's face on them and still try to sell.

<Bryan Gordon leaves and Rally notices another cell phone lying around.>

Rally Jackson:  Oh what do we have here?

<Rally notices it is Soutter's cell phone.>

Rally Jackson:  Feeling cute, might do a rib now.

<Typing something into the phone.>

Rally Jackson:  I shall text Lucky Linda, but pretend I am texting a sleazebag but that I texted her by accident.  Following?

Bryan Gordon:  Nope.

Rally Jackson:  Bring that stuff to the car!  I'm talking to the camera, not you.

Bryan Gordon:  Right, but I thought we were pretending we didn't know we were being filmed.

Rally Jackson:  Ok so here is what I typed.  "I'm free after the show and will meet you and the girls at the bar then into my penthouse with the big spa."

Bryan Gordon:  Ok what if she doesn't think Soutter is trying to text a sleazebag and accidentally texts her, but instead thinks he's just texting her?

Rally Jackson:  Then the joke will be on him because he has to pay for a penthouse with a..... spa?

Bryan Gordon:  Just text her saying "Hey it's Rally on Soutter's phone I'll let you have the world title if you" and then ask her to do some fucked up thing you like.

Rally Jackson:  Do you WANT me to go back to sensitivity training asshole?  Perhaps I did not describe to you well enough just how uncomfortable those tiny chairs are for a guy my size.  I'm going with the spa thing.

<Rally clicks send as Bryan Gordon starts hauling boxes of merchandise out to Rally's truck and we fade.>

[SWAT Team]

(The show returns from commercials for new television shows, SWAT Magazine's story on Pequeno Dinosaurio, mysterious shadow silhouettes talking ominously, along the latest episode of Timeless Alex Turner's and Roxylishus's reality television show. The scene fades to ringside where the ringsiders have signs saying "Watch out for that Dinosaurio!," "HNDRXX's TV Close Up!" "Jurassic Champion!" and "HNDRXX TV!" before fading to Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton sitting at the broadcast booth wearing officially licensed SWAT Masks and headsets.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back to Battleground and who are those shadowy silhouettes that were talking during the commercial break"

Andrew Fulton: "Maybe they are a couple of freaks . How the hell should I know who those mystery people are."

Jeremy Tucker: "I'm sure in the near future we'll find out who they are. Right now we have an intriguing match up between current SWAT Television Champion Pequeno Dinosaurio defending his championship against HNDRXX."

Andrew Fulton: "This should be a barn burner Jerry.."

Jeremy Tucker: "Apparently the higher ups are quite impressed with HNDRXX's thus this Championship opportunity."

Andrew Fulton: "He’s OK but let’s not get carried away, I doubt he can't beat the likes of Pequeno Dinosaurio."

Jeremy Tucker: "So far Pequeno Dinosaurio's been a fighting champion and he's still determined to prove he's a fighting champion. HNDRXX is determined to prove that he's not just for real but also championship material."

Andrew Fulton: "You kidding me Jerry. Pequeno Dinosaurio is going to beat him in under five minutes and I'm going to time the match and Pequeno is going to dominate this match, he is inspired by Esmeralda von Krauss after all.."

Jeremy Tucker: "I beg to differ since this is a television championship match with a ten minute limit and now I get the leaning to Dino."

Andrew Fulton: "The rules favor the champion and all Pequeno has to do is drag it all out and he retains the title without breaking a sweat. Hydrxx is going to be hindered by the rules and time limit."

Jeremy Tucker: "Right now let's go to the ring for the introductions."

Frank Salazar: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a ten minute time limit and it's for the SWAT Television Championship. Introducing first from Flatbush, New York. he comes in at 5'10" and weighs in at 180lbs. Please welcome HNDRXX."

[As ominous choral vocals come on.

{Denzel Curry starts to speak.]

"I went from sticking pennies in the jar
To offshore bank accounts
See me and my conglomerates is lucrative
I'm talking big money, big chains."

[As the beat kicks in, HNDRXX appears in the entrance, popping the color of his leather ring jacket, before walking down towards the ring with a purpose,
slapping hands with any outstretched to him.]

"Jesus, deliver us from evil
Please pray over all my people
What you see in life's illegal."

[HNDRXX makes it down to the apron as the chorus hits. Mocking a prayer along to the lyrics, before turning round.]

"I don't wanna use my desert eagle."

[Finger guns.]

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Mexico City, Mexico. He comes in at 5'4 1/2 and weighs in at 155lbs. he is the current SWAT Television Chamopion.
Please welcome Pequeno Dinosaurio."

BOOM BOOM ACKA-LACKA-BOOM!
BOOM BOOM ACKA-LACKA-BOOM!

"Walk the Dinosaur by WAS (Not Was) starts to play, fans especially the younger ones, begin clapping around to the silly, but infectious beat of the song. Practically slithering through the curtain, Pequeno Dinosaurio is welcomed to a modest cheer for the brightly colored rookie technico! Making his way to the ring, he shows his love for the fans as he goes, stopping especially to interact with the children of the crowd.

Reaching the ring, Pequeno Dinosaurio leaps from the floor to the ring apron before bounding over the top to enter the ring.

Going to all corners, the brightly colored rookie poses with his arms outstretched, his 'wings' ready for the hunt ahead.

Jeremy Tucker: "The bell sounds and this match is officially underway. They meet in the center of the ring and lock up and he takes HNDRXX down on the mat and they chain wrestle in the center of the ring. They continue until they break and kip up to their feet and the ringsiders are enjoying the action early on."

Andrew Fulton: "Whatever. He challenges Pequeno Dinosaurio to a test of strength and being the half wit that he is accepts and they lock up and slam into each other. HNDRXX gets the advantage and has the champion pinned to the mat but Pequeno gets his arms up and is attempting to get back to his feet. He manages to do so and flips HNDRXX."

Jeremy Tucker: "HNDRXX flips Pequeno off of him and they again spring back to their feet. Pequeno executes a series of armdrags into an armlock. HNDRXX slowly gets back to his feet."

Andrew Fulton: "He counters with a series of European uppercuts that rock the champion, feints a roundhouse kick followed by a legsweep and covers for a one count."

Jeremy Tucker: "HNDRXX whips the champion into the ropes and attempts a clothesline but Pequeno ducks and comes off the ropes and hurricanranas HNDRXX and again executes another series of armdrags in to an armbar submission."

Andrew Fulton: "So far 2mins. and 55seconds into the match."

Jeremy Tucker: "You don't have to watch the time since the timekeeper is capable of doing the same thing."

Andrew Fulton: "Hell the timekeeper can't tell the time of day let alone a wrestling match."

Jeremy Tucker: "You were late so what's your excuse besides trying to claim you lost track of time."

Andrew Fulton: "My watch was slow."

Jeremy Tucker: "You're enough to induce nausea."

Andrew Fulton: "Please don't flatter me since it doesn't fit your boring geeky image. HYNDRXX manages to get back to his feet delivers some kicks to Dinosaurio's back forcing him to release the hold."

Jeremy Tucker: "HNDRXX delivers a backbreaker and he holds the champion bending him in a bad way. The referee is asking if he wants to submit but Pequeno Dinosaurio refuses and he counters by delivering a series of kicks HNDRXX in his head forcing him to release the hold."

Andrew Fulton: "It's 3mins.and 30seconds into the match."

Jeremy Tucker: "Will you stop that Andrew."

Andrew Fulton: "Hey I'm having the time of my life."

Jeremy Tucker: "Yeah being a pain in the ass."

Andrew Fulton: "I take exception to that. HYNDRXX bounds into the ropes and springboards enziguiris Pequeno Dinosaurio before he standing moonsaults the champion for a close two count."

Jeremy Tucker: "HNDRXX whips Pequeno into the ropes and attempts an armdrag but the champion counters with one of his own. He executes various armdrags before whipping HNDRXX into the ropes and tilt-a-whirl head scissors armdrags him forcing him out of the ring."

Andrew Fulton: "The champion bounds into the ropes and he takes to the air and suicide dives HYNDRXX sending them both crashing into the security guard railing. They're both out and the referee starts counting as they barely start stirring."

Jeremy Tucker: "Pequeno Dinosaurio is back to his feet first and he picks HNDRXX up and rolls him back into the ring and gets up onto the ring apron."

Andrew Fulton: "He could have just let him get counted out and get the cheap victory."

Jeremy Tucker: "You know he's not like that. Pequeno Dinosaurio cannonballs onto HNDRXX and makes the cover for a close two count. He picks up HNDRXX who counters with a series of European uppercuts followed by a series of stiff shoot kicks to the champion's legs. Pequeno's limping and he's hurt from those kicks by HNDRXX."

Andrew Fulton: "HYNDRXX continues to work on Pequeno's legs and dragon screw legsweeps his legs before cinching in an Indian Deathlock. He has that hold in tight and he continues to apply pressure on that leg. Pequeno is in pain as the referee checks on him but the champion refuses to submit as he attempts to reach the ropes and barely manages to reach them forcing a break at 5mins. and 30seconds."

Jeremy Tucker: "Thanks for the reminder. HNDRXX milks the count before he releases the hold and picks up the champion. He whips the champion into the ropes and drop toe holds him before applying an anklelock. Once again he applies pressure and the champion's pain as he increases the pressure on that anklelock. HNDRXX transitions into a grapevine anklelock increasing the pressure and pain three fold."

Andrew Fulton: "The referee checks on the champion to see if he's going to tap and Pequeno Dinosaurio refuses because his ego won't let him. Pequeno Dinosaurio reaches the ropes again and HYNDRXX milks the count again before releasing the hold. HYNDRXX waits for Pequeno Dinosaurio to get up and he stumbles into a Casablanca Flame Thrower and HYNDRXX lionsaults onto the champion and makes the cover.....One.....Two.....T.....No! Pequeno Diosaurio gets a shoulder up with three minutes to go."

Jeremy Tucker: "HNDRXX wastes no time and sets Pequeno Dinosaurio up and delivers some Personification of Eternity and makes the cover and hooks the leg.....One.....Two.....Th.....No! Pequeno again gets a shoulder up."

Andrew Fulton: "HYNDRXX places Pequeno Dinosaurio onto the top turnbuckle attempting a superplex but the champion counters with a series of punches and palm strikes to HYNDRXX’s solar plexes forcing him to crash to the canvas with two minutes to go. Pequeno leaps off and Phoenix Splashes onto him and makes the cover......One.....Two......Th.....NO! HNDRXX barely gets an arm up."

Jeremy Tucker: "Times winding down quickly and Pequeno Dinosaurio's limping and barely able to climb the ropes. He leaps off and delivers an elbow to the chest of HNDRXX. He wastes no time setting up HNDRXX and delivers a Go To Sleep but it's taken a toll on that injured leg. Once again Pequeno Dinosaurio goes to the top turnbuckle."

Frank Salazar: "Nine minutes down and one minute remaining in this match. One minute remaining."

Andrew Fulton: "I'll kill him for ruining my fun! I’ve been giving the time updates!!"

Jeremy Tucker: "Will you stop that."

Andrew Fulton: "He spoiled my fun."

Jeremy Tucker: "Oh shut up with that already."

Andrew Fulton: "It's a free country and I can whine, cry and rant if I want to. Pequeno Dinosaurio bellows like a Pterodactyl and 5 star Pterodactyl Splashes onto HYNDRXX’s and makes the cover and double hooks the legs.....One....Two....Three!"

Frank Salazar: "Your winner at 9mims. and 25seconds and still SWAT Television Champion Pequeno Dinosaurio."

Jeremy Tucker: "Pequeno Dinosaurio retains his championship in what was a high octane mat fought war that has taken a toll on both men, what a battle by the pair of them,."

Andrew Fulton: "I told you Dino would retain."

Jeremy Tucker: "Hndrxxx gave Pequeno Dinosaurio a great match, we'll be hearing more from him in the near future. Pequeno Dinosaurio goes over to HNDRXX and shakes his hand and they exchange words before the champ holds his arm up in recognition of his performance. HNDRXX has nothing to be ashamed about and both showed good sportsmanship. He is right on track here in SWAT"

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah good sportsmanship, blah blah, he should have knocked him on his ass."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well the ringsiders enjoyed this epic battle and HNDRXX more than proved he has an excellent future and he deserves to be in SWAT but the star of the match and STILL TV Champ, Peqeuno! Right now we have to go to the break but we'll be back with more SWAT action after these messages."

(The scene slowly fades to commercials.)

[Union Jack]

Walking In... something or another.

As the match comes to an end, the tron bursts to life once more, showing a long and quiet country road with a Pickup truck trundling along, gradually eating the miles ahead. The sun is burning brightly above and the sky seems to go on forever. Our Hero is seen hanging his arm out of the window, the breeze blowing through the thick wire like hair that covers his skin. His eyes are vacant and far away as he stares absentmindedly at his fingers as they dance rhythmically in the breeze. Quietly, he sings to himself.

Our Hero - “I'm something in somewhere... still ten feet off of you... Walking to someone... da-de-da-doo-da-doowhoo...”

Suddenly the Cowboy's head bucks and whips violently toward Our Hero, his face a beet red and his eyes bulging.

Cowboy - “WILL YOU SHUT THE HECK UP?!”

Our Hero looks shocked and completely taken aback by the outburst.

Cowboy - “You've been singing that song wrong for two hundred and fifty fucking miles! It's walking in Memphis! MEMPHIS DAMNIT!”

The Pickup swerves harshly as the Cowboy realizes how close he came to running them off of the road. Our Hero tugs awkwardly at one of the blue teddy bear ears atop his mask and shrugs.

Our Hero - “Gee, I'm sorry Hoss... I was just filling the silence is all; You should'a said.”

Cowboy - “Hoss?” The Cowboy repeated and shook his head “Kid, this is real life, not Bonanza... You can call me Sam.”

Our Hero - “Like...” His eyes twinkled “Uncle Sam?”

Cowboy - “Uncl..” He started, but trailed off and shook his head instead. “Sure kid. Whatever. Look, if you wanna fill the silence, why not start by telling me your name, or whats with the mask?”

Our Hero -“The mas...?!” Our Hero crossed his eyes and rolled them back while craning his neck, before a look of sudden understanding dawned “OH, THE Mask!! I'm a Luchador!” He grinned proudly “And my names Jack. Union Jack!”

Sam turned to regard the red, white and blue flag emblazoned on the front of Jack's mask and sighed.

Cowboy - “Subtle. So, there a reason you're goin' to Memphis? Other than, ya know, having the song stuck in your head?”

Our Hero -“A friend got me a job opportunity and, well, there wasn't too many alternatives if I'm honest. So we're heading down to Memphis to meet him.” Jack absentmindedly patted the bag sat on the seat beside him. “It's a chance I really cant afford to mess up.”

Cowboy - “What d'ya mean, cant afford too?”

Our Hero -“I dunno... I guess I kinda push people away. I don't know why. It just sorta happens.”

Jack sat in contemplative silence for a moment or two.

Our Hero -“But Dinosaurio; he knows me and he's still willing to help... I really don’t wanna let him down Unc.”

Cowboy - “Well, we'll be there soon enough, Kid.” The Old Cowboy smiled wearily. “I'm sure you'll do just fine.”

The Pickup rolled on, eating into the miles, as Union Jack heads toward destiny and a brand new chapter starting in Memphis, Tennessee.

[HNDRXX]

HHNDRXX sat backstage, sweat beading on his forehead from the sprint-style affair.

"Pequeno, I gave you all that I had, and you came out on top. Nothing but respect my dude."

HNDRXX nodded solemnly as he pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head and a quick fade out.

[Dave D-Flipz]

*As we await the inevitable bloodbath that is to come, one of the competitors for the next match, the next slice of horror and agony, pops up on the tron in the arena. Death Trap stands in the gorilla position in his ring gear, plus his signature bowler hat and shades. In his hands he holds a hoodie which will inevitably be on his body for his entrance, before it sails into the crowd to a lucky fan. He hangs the hoodie on a coat rack … which ISN’T Mistress Discipline … hehe call backs … and looks to the camera as he grabs a roll of black athletic tape.*

: "You know Armand, I always had a feeling it would come to this when Soutter and Radu called me in for a favor. I always somehow knew this situation I’m in would come to pass. Because it seems to happen to me so often. There are so few of us in this business who keep our noses clean and offer the fans entertainment for the sake of the entertainment. Oh I know, I’m a rare subject in the world of wrestling these days, and especially here in SWAT. A bona fide ‘good guy’, a John Cena, a Hulkamania, a Sting. I get it. And I know it means I’m likely to take a beating more times than is reasonable to expect from a profession which is supposed to be about athletic competition."

*He sits down on a chair in the gorilla area and watches the tech junkies do their thing. He reminisces to the bygone era of … January … and watching Ronnie doing these exact things … with much less precision and care. He begins to wrap his left wrist and hand with his tape for the match to come.*

: "But I am over forty years old. I’m an elder statesman, an old man yelling at a cloud so to speak. And I suppose it means I’m just averse to changing how I operate. And that is probably detrimental to my health … and yours Armand. See the way I do things may not be as flashy as it used to be when I was pulling 450 splashes off the ropes … but it is much more finely honed and crafted. And the way I do things is to step in the way of the newest oncoming obstacle out to wreck the business and ruin the enjoyment of the fans. And stop it dead. I won’t say by any means necessary … but I mean … it’s implied. I’ve never needed an army, never wanted a way out, never shied away from the consequences of my choices. But I have always … ALWAYS … fought the good fight for these paying fans who chant my name. They came to see a show, not some circus sideshow where the show on stage is coordinated and run by the world’s worst ringmaster. Whether it be Slash, Hardcore Harry, Mongo, Congo, Venom, Reeshi, Eichi, Caffrey, or Armand von Krauss … you can bet Death Trap WILL be there to put the interests of the fans on his back and carry them to the finish line."

*He bites the tape off the roll and begins wrapping his right hand. He stares into the camera as he does it, eyes peering over the tops of his sunglasses, stone cold serious look on his face*

: "So Armand, that means that once again I get to step in front of this KGB freight train. At the behest of our new commissioner Jonnie Valentine. But let’s be real I’d be the car on the tracks of your locomotive eventually. With no Combatiente or Radu, this was always inevitable. It’s basically Linda and I who still stand separate from the KGB and Society. The way I see it, Jonnie just saw the writing on the wall and made it happen before you assholes could do more shady business. So let me tell you what is .. IS … about to happen Armand. And I’ll do it slowly and clearly so you can understand me."

*He pauses his wrapping of his dominant hand as he balls his fist up. He looks at it and then into the camera, staring out at the crowd on the other side of the tron*

: "Damage. Destruction. Chaos. A symphony of destruction. A show of force. Le grán attración."

*He smirks and goes back to wrapping his wrist.*

: "What you are about to pay witness to is the show of the night. And you will have plenty of witnesses to tell you the tale after you wake up again in the hospital. I am not a violent man per sé. I am not out to hurt people on a daily basis. But you cage an animal and lock him inside with a bunch of scavengers … well he either becomes the alpha or he becomes food. And I ain’t nobody’s dinner. What I am … is a legend. What I am … is a finely tuned instrument of focused aggression, fueled by the crowd and the lights. What I am … is a hurricane force storm aimed squarely at the trailer park that is the KGB."

*He bites off the other tape and tosses the roll to a stage hand. He grabs a bottle of water and takes a huge slug of it and wipes his mouth on his arm.*

: "I’m not going to sugar coat this for you Armand, you can thank Valentine for the plight you find yourself in. You want to run the show. But the show is about to fight back. See I have this … problem. I guess you’d call it a hero complex. And it’s driven me to do some crazy things in my youth. It’s driven me to some insane heights and some depressing lows. And now it tells me that there is another cancer that needs excising. It tells me there is another fanbase crying out for rescue. Calling for anyone brave enough to risk themselves to save them and the place they love. Do you hear it? Of course not, you are Der große Oberherr. You don’t listen to the peons you see as beneath you."

*He stands up and grabs the hoodie again. He tosses it over his shoulder and begins to walk towards the stairs to the entrance ramp and stage.*

: "Tonight Armand … tonight their calls get answered. One way or another I am going to put them on my back and leave a trail of broken bodies and crushed windpipes behind me. I am going to walk out of that cage and tear down the last vestiges of your clown army as they try to avenge their broken leader. I’m not heartless von Krauss. You will have plenty of actual doctors and medics around. They will be there to make sure your straight jacket isn’t too tight and to remove the Egyptian cigarette buried inches deep in your own throat. I’m sure they will be able to bind your broken arms and brace your fractured neck. They can probably even use one of those pump bags to restart your collapsed lungs and return color to your lips and skin. I’m sure you’ll be able to open your eyes again by next show."

*He shows no sign of flinching at the malice and carnage he has laid out before him*

: "I am not a violent man. … Until you push me to defend what I love. You have forced me to walk through fire and brimstone … er … legos and thumbtacks … You’ve threatened my protégé and her manager. You’ve threatened my livelihood. And you’ve threatened the lifeblood of the very network where I have sworn to entertain these fans. You backed me into a corner, removed all my friends and aid from the equation in some sick and twisted plot to assume power over … a wrestling company. I literally cannot think of what criminal enterprise you could possibly need a network of wrestling feds for. And now you find me, back against the wall and in a cage, the only way to survive is to … well …"

*He makes a throat slit motion with his right thumb.*

: "And so I will. I will beat down Hehehe and Hahaha. I will laugh as I cripple Gabriel Tuck and introduce Sir Monocle’s Monocle to the inside of his own ass. I’d rather not describe what I have in store for Mister Sticky after what he did to me in Japan and tried to do in Philly … there might be kids listening. Gotta be a role model after all. And if Eric Dane wants to show his face then I’ll make sure he cries his way back to Canada where he can pretend to be the biggest dog in the yard, as he hides behind the twin peaks of Steel and the Aurochs. And for you Armand? Well … it’s in the gimmick of the match. You will leave that ring on a board and stretcher. I am going to choke the literal life out of you. Because these fans demand it. Because you made yourself the big evil. And every evil needs a counter. You went and removed the others who would be the “good” to stand against you. Any star wars fan will tell you, a light will always rise to equal the dark. And you surrounded yourself by quite a lot of darkness. Spread your power out. Meanwhile you’ve focused the light down to one master point. The Main Attraction."

*He steps to the stage and throws his hoodie on. He zips it and tugs it into the proper location for his entrance*

: "We are so close to the main attraction of the evening everyone. I present to you … the voice of the people. The hero you all need. The man who will tear down the oppression of aggression. The downfall of the KGB. You all cried out for me, well here I am. Straight out of Seattle, the conqueror of evil, the demolisher of factions, the one true savior of SWAT. Ladies and gentlemen … tonight you witness the rise of the savior, le grán attracción, the man who will lead you all through this miasma. So keep your eyes on the ring, because inside that cage … Armand von Krauss and all his pathetic minions are at MY mercy. Because what is a steel cage with a caged animal in it … if not a Death Trap? Now hit my goddamned music and enjoy the show. I’m sure it’s not going to be the last, but the first of many. And cheer for your savior."

*He flips up the hood and waits for that tell-tale haunting vocal intro of “The Hard Sell” by Coheed and Cambria, as the tron blacks out in the arena in anticipation of the true ‘main event’ of the evening*

[Justin]

Here we go.

Backstage, close to the mythical Gorilla Position, there is an area set aside for interviews and the like. The wall is covered with a SWAT logo, there is an inoffensive ficus off to one side and a microphone stand on the other.

Standing front and center are Eric Dane and Graysie Parker. Rather than the usual tailored suit The Only Star sports a brand new [SYNDICATE >X< KGB] t-shirt and his silver and blue tights over black pads and boots. Strapped securely to his right leg is the adamantium bracing contraption that keeps his lower leg attached to the rest of his body, the left is clad in a standard heavy duty brace as well.

The Suplex Siren is dressed in her glittery gold and black singlet and pads with low black boots, her hair is braided with precision and plastered across her face is the kind of determination that moves mountains.

They’d been waiting to go on for something like forty minutes while Death Trap stood in the next room repeating the same ignorant shit over and over again making less and less sense with every passing breath. To say that The Only Star was antsy and ready to get this show on the road would have been an offensive understatement.

“Hey kid, did you hear that long-winded fuck going on for hours about how great of a guy he is? Motherfucker tripped over his tongue so many times it looked like he was tryin’ to play hopscotch with himself.”

Graysie rolls her eyes, an overstated rimshot will be added to the audio track in post-production and the piped in laughter will make this seem like it’s a joke. In reality that motherfucker talks. A lot. Like, constantly.

“He talks a real big game about literally every single thing. Everything that is except for the guy who took a payoff to personally eliminate his learning disabled ass from the SWAT Rumble.”

Dane smirks. Graysie throws hands on hips.

“Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you big boy. Feel free to run your mouth until that red face of yours turns blue about what a billy badass you are, but you and I both know if you come within slapping distance of Eric Dane I’ll make you choke on that Dollar Store hat of yours and I’ll bring Scott Steel and The Aurochs to town to run the train in your old lady while Armand’s clowns hit her from either side with the ol’ Big Top bukakke.”

The smirk intensifies, a raised middle finger accompanies it.

“Don’t fuck with me, cupcake, I’ll ruin you.”

Having had just about all of the dick measuring that she could stand for one day, Graysie Parker finally interjects herself into things verbally.

“Are you done?”

Eric snaps his attention to the young grappling genius and raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” he says. “Am I?”

Graysie blinks at him for what seems like an inappropriate amount of time before turning her attention back to the matter at hand.

“We’ve got a match tonight.”

Dane nods.

“Fuck right, we do!”

Graysie continues, building up some steam.

“I’m finally gonna get that slimeball Oxford Osland in the ring and I’m gonna pull his arms off and use them to choke him unconscious!”

Eric makes a face.

“You don’t think he’d die from exsanguination first?”

She narrows eyes at her mentor-turned-partner.

“Who’s side are you on, anyway?”

Dane throws his hands up, washing his hands of the whole situation.

“Alright, fine. You’re the boss. What do you want from me?”

“Beat up Keith Williams.”

“And what about Blaze?”

“Leave her to Eddie.”

With pursed lips and a scrunched nose, Graysie is momentarily lost in contemplation.

“And make sure you keep that big galoot away from me! I don’t need another meathead drooling all over me while I’m trying to wrestle out there!”

Eric tries to interject on behalf of his newfound stablemate.

“But he hasn’t-”

Graysie is having none of it.

“I know his type, and they’re all the same. Sooner or later that train always pulls into the station and it’s never late. So just keep him away from me and figure out a way to get me five minutes alone in the ring with Oxford Osland! Think you can handle that while you’re preening around here like some kind of big shot after spending fifteen minutes in that Rumble and doing literally nothing else at all, including your job as my Manager?”

Eric’s face softens.

“Hey now,” Eric says. “Who’s side are you on,eh?”

After a moment she gives a smirk of her own, just like his.

“Mine.”

A single tear comes to Eric Dane’s eye, his little grappler is getting all growed up!

“There you have it, mongoloids, Eric Dane and Graysie Parker are here to fuck shit up, Eddie D’s gonna beat up a girl, and Death Trap is a punk bitch!”

Graysie cuts her eyes at him one last time before the quick fade back to ringside, or, you know, wherever the next thing that happens happens at.

[frostbite]

Back in the locker room...

As we saw earlier in the show, a brown leather lazy boy chair yes it is in the locker room as it is being rocked back and forth, our cameras catch only the back of the chair as it is going quite the pace, our cameras move around to the front we see that it is Frostbite cellphone leaning back in it with the pic of the SWAT World title on it screen.

BAM

Suddenly their is a loud noise heard in the distance as our camera catches a shadow figure approaching the chair, we see that it is Frostbite, who is bent over exhausted after his hard fought win earlier this evening over Tong. He is drenched in so much sweat that he is creating a pool right in front of his feet. He slowly lifts up his head, as he looks at his phone.

Frostbite.. Did you like that my Love? I hope that pleases you.

Frostbite looks at the phone as he tilts his head to the right as if the phone is saying something to him.

Frostbite.. Why did that not please you love. I won the match that is highly important if I am to get a step closer for us to be together.

Frostbite sits right next to his phone, as he does so a look of concern comes over his face as he looks to his phone as if it once again saying something to him.

Frostbite.. What do you mean the win was not enough. I do not understand?

Suddenly out of nowhere it appears Frostbite neck is overcome with whiplash, as he takes his right hand and rubs his cheek, as if the phone has not smack him in the face.

Frostbite.. What was that for my Love?

Frostbite gets up out of the chair as he leans into his phone as if it saying something to him.

Frostbite.. My love, I tried to set not one but two people on fire tonight but you must remember they are brothers and not going to allow me to burn the other. Two against one dear, I tried.

Once again Frostbite is overcome with what is suppose to be another slap by the phone as his head and neck are slapped again and this time he grabs the left cheek.

Frostbite.. Please love do not be upset with me. I am sorry, I do not want to make you upset.

Frostbite drops to both knees as if he is begging the phone for forgiveness.

Frostbite.. How can I make this up to you my Love? I want to make you happiest woman in the world. I did not know you wanted someone to be set on fire.

Frostbite begs even more.

Frostbite.. I am sorry. What can I do to make it better?

He leans in as if the phone is saying something to him.

Frostbite.. As you wish my queen. I will set somebody on fire tonight, if this pleases you.

He jumps to his feet.

Frostbite.. I want to make my lady happy. I shall take care of that. I am sorry that I let you down, again. I will never do that ever again.

Frostbite winks at the phone.

Frostbite.. I will do as you ask.

He turns around as he races away as the phone is rocking away in the chair as the scene fades out.

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Steel Cage Stretcher Match! Death Trap Vs Armand von Krauss. Two heavy hitter major players face off here in this grudge match. AVK and the KGB dominated the rumble at No Man’s Land. Death Trap is fighting the good fight against them but his allies, who Death trap came in to SWAT to help to begin with, are dropping like flies. What will happen in this one?

Andrew Fulton : I don’t know for sure, but I love what this big blue cage does to people. Not looking at that flimsy cheap arsed crosslink fencing, this is the real deal. You bash a man into this ironwork and they’ll still be feeling it a week on Sunday.



*The haunting vocal intro for "The Hard Sell" by Coheed and Cambria hits the speakers and the lights dim and blue and gold spotlights strobe around the arena. The video screen lights up with a familiar theme as it reads, "And now … SWAT presents … its MAIN ATTRACTION!" A foot shatters the screen and we cut to images from DT's matches in MCCW against the likes of Nelly Angel, Weaselpop, and Eichi Yamaguchi. The first verse sets in as the screen shows DT tapping out Jason Justice and being handed the MCCW World title for the second time.


"I'm paranoid, and sick of this world's misconception of things I did. My language poured across this wrist in a metaphoric disaster."


DT slowly walks into a red spotlight on the stage with his head down hidden under a hoodie. It's black and has his custom interlocking DT logo with an Italian flag and mariners compass on it on the back. He stands in the spotlight and slowly looks up showing off his signature bowler hat and sunglasses under the hood. The screen shows images of his victories over Alexis Grace, Duke Kosloff, Ai Moe, and Jeremiah Vastrix all split screen one per corner all in his signature 'Death Trap' Dragon Clutch finisher. It then flashes to him holding the EOD 2019 briefcase over his head. It quickly transforms into him getting three pinfalls over Anthony Caffrey and being handed the X*Crown facemask before wiping into an image of DT posing with his custom X*Crown belt, the ECF title with a big bad X on it.


"My guess, I'm missing out the punchline, unless this hanging noose is fitted to be all mine. I stood by everything I loved, while you never understood me much..."


He flips the hood back and throws his hands up into a cross over his head before dropping them into his signature pose (the Orton one, you know it.). The strobe blue and gold spotlights move faster around the arena as he soaks in the adoration of fans from two generations.


Frank Salazar: "Entering the ring, hailing from Seattle, Washington. At 6'4" and 260 pounds, he is The Main Attraction ... DEATH TRAP!"


"Cuz there's only one ... of me. And too many of you, fighting over nothing. There's never enough cool for everyone and before you know it you're selling out to be in."


He unzips the hoodie and tosses it into the crowd and starts marching to the ring. He air fist bumps the fans along the walkway (Covid ya know). He negotiates the ring steps and the steel cage door and bounds into the ring and climbs the far corner and poses as gold pyro showers down from the overhead area. He leaps down; drops his t-shirt, hat, and shades to the arena floor through the cage; and begins stretching on the ropes.*


Andrew Fulton : Death Trap looks ready, ready for a dance off as Magic Mike’s stunt double…

Jeremy Tucker : That envious shade of green is really ugly on you Fulton… Death Trap certainly has a summer ready body and evidence of plenty of gym work in preparation for this one…

Andrew Fulton : “Sumer ready body”? Stop reading Cosmo Jerry… It’s affecting you…

[”Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins playing as Armand von Krauss walks out from the back. He looks around at the crowd with an arrogant smirk before lighting up an Egyptian cigarette. He walks down to the ring while smoking his cigarette, soaking in the boos from the crowd. Once he gets down to the ring, he flicks the cigarette butt into the crowd. He stares at Death Trap disdainfully in the ring, hopes up the steps, edges through the door showing mock fear of his opponent before straightening up and laughing and leans in the corner adjacent to the cage door waiting for the bell.]

Frank Salazar : And introducing now … hailing from Cologne, Germany. Coming in at 6’2 and 245 pounds …. Representing the KGB! ARMAND VON KRAUSS!!!

Jeremy Tucker : The bell rings and this match is underway... Death Trap runs at Armand and catches him with a running knee… Armand is forced back into the corner he just sprang from… Death Trap Thai clinches him and delivers a series of forearms and hard knee strikes.

Andrew Fulton : Death Trap tries to whip him into the opposite corner but Armand reverses it sending Death Trap crashing into the corner.

Jeremy Tucker : Armand charges into the corner roaring delivering a big elbow crush?!! But Death Grip rolls out of the way and Armand crashes back first into the turnbuckles… Death Trap charges into the corner roaring, delivering an elbow of his own?! But Armand erupts out of the corner with a clothesline and hammers Death Trap down with authority.

Andrew Fulton : Armand pounds on Death Trap with a blitzkrieg of punches… Death Trap covers up… Armand struggles to get more punches landed and just gives up… stands and roars at the crowd for not praising his dominance … pointing at the floored Death Trap nursing a swelling right eye…

Jeremy Tucker : Armand whips Death Trap into the ropes and flying back elbow’s Death Trap down… Armand straddles Death Trap and starts slapping his face and taunts him. Armand shows off his biceps sat on Death Traps chest… Showboating? … This early, that's not necessary….

Andrew Fulton : And not very smart… Death Trap whips up his legs, locks them around Armand’s arms and drags him down… No pinfalls here, but Armand is pinned and pissed at letting himself be cradled…

Jeremy Tucker : Armand rolls out of the cradle and back to his feet… Armand charges back at the still seated Death Trap with a vicious knee strike?!!! …but no, Death Trap shows great agility and reflexes to spring partially up and drop toe holds Armand down… Death Trap slaps Armand in an Ankle Lock!!!

Andrew Fulton : Armand is panicked and in terrible pain… There’s no one to ask if he quits and there’s no rope break here… Just the body of your opponent hitting the EMT gurney outside the cage door seals the win… Armand reaches the ropes and shouts abuse at Death Trap to let him go… Death Trap obliges?! That seems crazy to me but?! … Death Trap drags Armand back to the middle of the ring and slaps the Ankle Lock back on him!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Armand is screaming a host of expletives and German guttural curses… I hope we’re bleeping this stuff out for our German viewers because I can’t imagine that was pleasant listening… Death Trap laughs at the pain he has Armand in…

Andrew Fulton : Armand suddenly lashes out with his good leg and stuns Death Trap enough to squirm free… Armand rolls and rolls away until he meets the cage and begs off, his back to the cold steel of the cage and under the bottom rope, shaking out the pain in his ankle, trying to get his composure back…Death Trap grabs at Armand and drags him away from the cage by his hair… Death Trap drags Armand up and… Scoop slam! …Death Trap goes to pick up Armand but is met with a thumb to the eye…

Jeremy Tucker : This may be a cage match, but the fans didn’t appreciate that…

Andrew Fulton : I don’t think Death Trap was a big fan of it either, but it’s probably the least he can expect facing the leader of the KBG…

Jeremy Tucker : And as if to prove your point… Death Trap comes back bleary eyed to grab at a limping Armand and gets a kick in the crutch for his trouble…

Andrew Fulton : Yep had a couple of those over the years… Mostly from women strangely… Not sure if the pupils or the knee caps snapped together faster when you take a shot like that…

Jeremy Tucker : Armand limps over, moving slightly better now, and drags Death Trap up… and gut-busters Death Trap with conviction... Armand smashes Death Trap's face into the canvas and rubs and grinds his face into the canvas.

Andrew Fulton : Once again Armand wants to taunt and humiliate Death Trap without remorse whatsoever. Are you horny too or is it just me?

Jeremy Tucker : No it’s definitely just you… Armand drags Death Trap up, still smarting from the blow to his solar plexus earlier… Armand attempts a power bomb but Death Trap manages to disrupt the momentum and once the bodies hit the floor Armand is locked tight in a triangle choke!!!

Andrew Fulton : Death Trap has a bit more muscle and weight on him and at the moment he has that triangle in tight.

Jeremy Tucker : Armand lifts Death Trap up, but not that high and delivers a half-hearted power bomb and Death Trap refuses to break the hold… You can sense the strength draining from Armand as he punches and twists, but can’t get free… Armand eventually finds the energy to get back to his feet, with his head still firmly locked in the Triangle choke… Armand lifts Death Trap and runs, stumbles and the pair smash into the nearest set of ropes… Death Trap is smashed, the back of the head first, against the cage and drops the hold and clutches the back of his head… Armand collapses and holds his throat and gasping for air…

Andrew Fulton : Death Trap really hit hard there and so unlucky… a few inches higher with that stumble swing from Armand and all he would have hit was ring rope and canvas and Armand would have been all out of energy and air…

Jeremy Tucker : Armand slowly gets back to his feet and has the nerve to be taunting Death Trap.... That escape was hardly the excellence of escape move of the century… Death Trap kicks out at Armand’s ankle as Armand stands over him and Armand winces and drops down to one knee clutching his clearly injured ankle…. Death Trap follows up with a series of punches as he too gets back to one knee himself...

Andrew Fulton : Armand blocks one of the punches and Death Trap is pushed away and Death Trap rolls backwards and up to his feet… Armand rolls from his one knee stance and back to his feet as well… The pair run at each other and Armand and Death Trap crash down to the mat in a brutal double lariat…

Jeremy Tucker : I am concerned for Death Trap… I just caught the reflection of a sheen to his hair and spots of blood on the canvas, there must be a gash from that clash with the cage…

Andrew Fulton : “A gash from the clash”? ‘Jerry’ The poet that didn’t know it… They’re all big boys now Jerry, they knew what they signed up for in a cage match…

Jeremy Tucker : Armand's up first from the lariat and still favouring his ankle as he heads over to the nearest turnbuckle and starts to take the turnbuckle cover off... There’s an official at ringside shouting at Armand to stop but Armand just laughs at him and exposes the bare metal of the turnbuckle couplings… The official keeps shouting at Armand and, seemingly just to wind the official up even more, Armand removes the cover from the second turnbuckle too… Death Trap is back up and Armand abandons the turnbuckles and hits Death Trap with a huge chop to the chest… Armand follows up with an Irish whip?!… And Death Trap slams back first into the BARE METAL of the Turnbuckles!!!

Andrew Fulton : The look on Armand's face now is downright sadistic… That’s gloating on a satanic level as he looks at Death Trap and over to the cage door…

Jeremy Tucker : I have would have to agree Andrew… truly chilling…. He picks up Death Trap and whips him into the bare turnbuckles AGAIN!!! …Death Trap clutches his back and stumbles out of the corner and drops facedown to the mat… Armand drags Death Trap up… walks him to the ropes and smashes his head repeatedly against the cage… Death Trap drops throat first across the top rope… Armand grips the top rope in too hands and yanks at it with all his weight and Death Trap is projected into the ring and crashes down back first in the centre of the ring… Armand stands over Death Trap and applies the Brain Crush!!! Cranium Crush in a seated position and lifted by the head to chest height and dropped. …Death Trap is clutching his head on the mat… Armand stands on the back of Death Traps bleeding head with one boot as he poses and taunts the fans…

Andrew Fulton : Death Trap punches at Armand’s ankle and Armand yelps out loud and takes his boot off of Death Trap’s head… Death Trap rolls away and uses the ropes to get himself back up… Armand limps over and Death Trap and Armand get locked in a collar and elbow tie up… The pair struggle with forceful pushes and pulls and they stagger into the corner opposite the exposed turnbuckles …

Jeremy Tucker : Armand twists in the clinch, punches Death Trap in the back of the head and Irish whips Death Trap into the bare buckles for a third time?!! …but no, Death Trap reverses and Armand slams chest first into the BARE METAL of the Turnbuckles!!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Well that’s just turned this bout on its head… Talking of heads… Death Trap grabs Armand… Shows great strength to lift Armand Military Press style! And drops Armand face first across the exposed top turnbuckle!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Armand’s head is bleeding badly… Armand looks dazed and confused as he gets up from the canvas… Death Trap grabs a fist full of Armand’s hair and walks Armand to the ropes and smashes his head repeatedly against the cage… Armand drops throat first across the top rope… Death Trap grips the top rope in too hands and yanks at it, and Armand is projected into the centre of the ring… Armand is bleeding and stunned but defiant as he tries to get back to his feet… Death Trap is resting on the ropes, his own wounds and exertion catching up with him…. Death Trap steps in behind Armand as he gets back to his feet and spins him around and grabs his head, THE MAIN ATTRACTION!!!! (Cradle DDT)

Andrew Fulton : This must be over now… Drag Armand out of there and get him the medical attention he needs… Hang on… Death Trap is looking at the turnbuckles… What is he doing?

Jeremy Tucker : I think he’s detaching the top rope? He’s spending a lot of time unscrewing a component from the assembly?

Andrew Fulton : The officials are yelling something about Health and Safety as the tope rope drops limp… yadda yadda yadda…. Now I see what he’s doing… Death Trap is now armed with a short metal iron bar?!!

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap walks over to Armand… Just remember fans that there are no rules and absolutely no love lost between these two men…. The KGB has been gunning for Death Trap and now I think we’ll see some payback…

Andrew Fulton : Not sure you’d be so forgiving if this was Armand introducing a hard-to-get-at foreign object to the encounter and walloping a beaten man with it… Check your bias Jerry …

Jeremy Tucker : Armand exposed the turnbuckles and brought them into play and I am completely impartial and a complete professional…

Andrew Fulton : Yeah, Yeah, Yeah…

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap drags up a half conscious Armand looks at the bar in his right hand and out at the fans and the fans seem to be telling him to do it?!

Andrew Fulton : The fickle confused masses should not be your morale arbiter Death Trap… Do the right thing…

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap slams a heavy metal bar filled fist into Armand’s guts!!! …Armand doubles up in pain… Death Trap changes to a two handed grip on the bar and double axe handles Armand across the back with the full weight of the bar and Armand slams down to the mat….

Andrew Fulton : Can we finally see some medical attention brought to the combatants? Finish this Death Trap, this is ridiculous now…

Jeremy Tucker : Death Trap drops the turnbuckle bar and drags the battered Armand over to the cage door by his limp arms and shouts at the EMTs to open up… They seemed unsure on the protocol, as an official gives them a nod and barks at them to go ahead and they jump into action… They adjust their surgical masks and open the door and roll the gurney into place to receive the barely conscious Armand… Death Trap leans his weight on Armand as he negotiates the ropes to move the dead weight of an unresponsive Armand out of the ring…

Andrew Fulton : What’s THIS?! One of the EMT’s lashed out and hit Death Trap with a sucker punch, bashed his head off of the cell door and dragged HIM out onto the gurney!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : The confused officials ring the bell and we have a winner?! Armand Von Krauss can hardly see for the blood running into his rolling eyes and he’s the winner?

Andrew Fulton : Jerry! … look at this action replay… There were brass knuckles on that fist?! …Who still uses brass knuckles these days? …That wasn’t a big fist…

Jeremy Tucker : The officials are confronting the EMT that changed the course of the match with that violent outburst…

Andrew Fulton : That’s no EMT?! That’s ‘The Jersey Devil Diva’, Joanne Canelli!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Oh my God yes it is… She got Rios, now Death Trap!

Andrew Fulton : Canelli is back in SWAT and the KGB and making one heck of a return.

Jeremy Tucker : Canelli takes off her mask and laughs in glee at the controversy she has revealed… the officials and EMTs recoil and give her 2 meters social distancing…

Andrew Fulton : A shocked Death Trap tries to get up to defend himself but Canelli hits him with those Brass knucks in the nuts and tips the gurney over… Canelli kicks Death Trap when he’s down… crosses over to a semi-conscious Armand Von Krauss still resting face down in the cage doorway and raises his arm in victory…

Jeremy Tucker : Armand manages to find the breath to join Canelli in an evil conspiratorial laugh at Death Traps expense…

Andrew Fulton : What did we say at the start of the show about KGB’s recent recruitment and them never being stronger? If they weren’t unstoppable before… they are now!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Thankfully Security is out here to keep Canelli and Armand from continuing this fight and getting some real EMT attention to both these men… What a wrestling bout to remember folks… We’re going to a commercial break… Don’t touch that dial… We’ll be right back with more action…

[Kyle]

Watching the show as it happens through a TV in their locker room, relaxing in a reclining chair, this person wears a replica El Combatiente mask and a Dylan Black t-shirt. Possibly a huge fan of Los Reyes De La Lucha? No, that doesn't seem likely judging by the AWF Prestige Championship and SWAT Universal Sin Championship clipped around their waist. Grossly eating a banana, they laugh and spit pieces of the fruit that stick to the screen of the television.

Keith Williams: "Double O, you're too much!"

Throwing the peel of the banana behind him without looking, it splats on top of the camera and slides off, leaving a messy streak. The cameraman wipes the lens clean as Keith takes notice of them.

Keith Williams: "How embarrassing, you caught me in the middle of my potassium intake! I've been told it helps boost tolerance of annoying bitches. Were you expecting me to choke, lose my title, and go into hiding?"

Shaking his head and wagging his finger, Williams dismisses the notion of this as he removes the mask, placing it on his lap.

Keith Williams: "I've got a joke for you. What do you call a quarter pounder with cheese? Blaze Freya. And The ReVenants have the misfortune of calling her a tag-team partner. What's her malfunction? She's crying, she's whining, she's wanting a handout for her effort in the Royal Rumble. Sweetie, take a seat, because if anyone should be rewarded for their effort it's me. I drew number one and lasted longer than anyone, only to be taken out by a prehistoric loser. You couldn't beat The ReVenants and got eliminated? That's too bad, so sad."

Faking sorrow for his opponent turned partner, KW rubs at his eyes like he's crying but there's no actual tears.

Keith Williams: "Your problem should be with The KGB. They're the ones that hijacked the Royal Rumble. Eric Dane sold his soul for a cheap pop and he didn't even bother to let his client know. How truly Kross Global Bandits of them. Like Eddie D before you, you had your chance to join The ReVenants, Eric. You're going to regret your mistake when you encounter Oxford Osland, Keith Williams, and Blaze Freya. It's a shame what happened to Graysie at No Man's Land, but when you disrespect Double O there's not much I can do. You're learning like everyone else does... Mess with the best, die like the rest."

Finger gun pointed at the camera, Keith pulls the trigger and releases a round into it, yelling, "Bang!"

Keith Williams: "Eddie D... Only a nerd like you would support and directly reference issues of Superman. A Kryptonian loving fool, I should have guessed. Do you get turned on by aliens with superpowers? Batman is superior, it's common knowledge. There's no need for discussion."

Confident about the subject matter, The Champion of Champions moves on to something else.

Keith Williams: "The way I talk about The Big Deal, you'd think I want him to lose against Rally Jackson for the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship. That couldn't be further from the truth. I want Edward to defeat The Golden God and live his dreams, so I can give him a reality check. The moment Eddie becomes champion I want my title match. Management is kind enough to grant opportunities to people I've beat, it's only fitting they should make a match involving someone that actually beat the champion."

The future number one contender nods his head, confirming the logic of his statement.

Keith Williams: "I took one championship from you..."

Referring to Eddie again, Williams looks down at the SWAT Univeral Sin title and sniggers.

Keith Williams: "...I'll happily do it again. Let's bring it full circle, make the number even and I can defend two championships in SWAT. Hell, give Oxford and I a tag-title match, I'll be three times the fighting champion! We can call it The KGB liquidation sale! All gold must go!"

Animatedly throwing his arms up, Mr. Gold Getter bellows at the thought.

Keith Williams: "You can huff, you can puff, you can even blow my house down, big boy. But that still doesn't make me a pig. I will dismantle you like every other blowhard that's talked the talk and tried to walk the walk, Ed. Look at your partners, are they as KGB faithful as you? Is Dane in this for the Syndicate and his own reasons? Will Graysie compromise herself for the approval of her aging mentor?"

Shrugging, Keith doesn't seem to have an answer to all these sound queries, does Eddie D?

Keith Williams: "The ReVenants have our unruly woman under control, you should do the same. I'd also advise finding a tag-team partner that isn't in need of a hip replacement, but... You chose a geezer like Eric Dane. Well, Armand did. The Kross Global Bandits have been allowed to pretend they're the most dominant force in SWAT. That time ends now. An extended tag-team, huh? Stupider words have never been spoken. The ReVenants are an actual global threat, our influence extends outside of just SWAT. We're spreading throughout all of the XHF Network. We ReVenants are your sons, we are your husbands, we are everywhere. And there will be more of you cut down in the months to come."

Deathly serious, The Ultimate Kingpin stares into the camera with the intent of eliminating the scourge known as The KGB.

Keith Williams: "New Horizons will mark the beginning of the war between The ReVenants and The KGB. Sympathizers, traitors, and defectors will not be tolerated. Our only goal is complete obliteration. One by one, until there's not a speck of your kind left. I don't want there to be the hint of a debate as to which group is number one. I'm done being patient with babies that don't want to listen. You've all had your chance. You're officially deemed unfit to go on and your place is in a pit with sick, weak-minded infants just like you."

Lacking emotion or feeling, Williams gazes back at the audience with dead eyes and a grim outlook on children.

Keith Williams: "There's the easy way. And there's the hard way. Every ounce of me is hoping you make this difficult. That you fight it. That you struggle. That you let me enjoy every last second as you kick and gasp for air."

Sickly smiling, distracted by the gold on him, Keith is wrapped up in fantasies he's committed to acting out on The KGB.

Keith Williams: "Can't wait to kick off this genocide!"

Wiggling in the chair as he kicks his feet, The Muse for the Masses maniacally laughs as things draw to a close.

[SWAT Team]

Frank Salazar: The following contest is a six man tornado tag team match scheduled for one fall! Featuring in this corner, Blaze Freya, Keith Williams, and Oxford Osland!

Jeremy Tucker: Look at Blaze Freya look at her tag team partners like she would like to put them down too!

Andrew Fulton: I mean she probably would, except she hates the KGB even more.

Jeremy Tucker: I suppose that is true.

Andrew Fulton: I know it is. Blaze is on record saying that she would not have minded it if he teammates didn’t make it to the arena.

Frank Salazar: And their opponents in the opposite corner. Eddie D, Eric Dane, and Graysie Parker!

Jeremy Tucker: Graysie doesn’t look too happy with her partners of choice either. I mean Eric is her manager, but he chose the KGB.

Andrew Fulton: She’s on board. She just doesn’t know it yet.

Jeremy Tucker: Looks like the girls are going to start the match out in the ring, but since this is a tornado tag match. No tags are needed.

Andrew Fulton: Right? I think anyone can come in at anytime or maybe even everyone at once if they chose.

Jeremy Tucker: Graysie starts the match out by just grabbing Blaze and body slamming her with authority. Blaze bounces right back up to her feet, but Graysie just shoves her back down to the mat!

Andrew Fulton: Blaze bounces right back up like a pinball in a machine. She ducks a wild swing from Graysie, gets up into her personal space, and...tries to kiss her? Grayish blocks it!

Jeremy Tucker: Blaze turns that shocking moment into an irish whip and a hot shot onto the middle rope! Graysie is back up quickly, but Blaze is on her with lefts and rights to stun her. Blaze raises her hand high into the air before sticking her hand down the front of her tights! What the heck?

Andrew Fulton: She slaps Graysie across the face, making sure that her fingers, God knows where they have been, get into Graysie’s mouth. I’m a little jealous to be honest.

Jeremy Tucker: Eric Dane runs into the ring while Graysie is spitting onto the mat. He grabs Blaze Freya from behind and hits a German suplex. This prompts Keith Williams to jump into the ring and stomp on Eric Dane before he gets up.

Andrew Fulton: This brings Eddie D into the ring who scoop slams Keith Williams to the mat. Which, naturally, brings Oxford Osland into the ring who hits a drop kick against Eddie D to send him to the mat.

Jeremy Tucker: This has quickly turned into the chaos that we expected it to be. Graysie Parker grabs Keith Williams, getting him up into a suplex position before dumping him into a piledriver! Eric Dane gets up to his feet, but is whipped into the ropes by Oxford Osland, hitting a frankensteiner as Eric comes back on the rebound. Blaze Freya gets to her knees, headbutting Eddie D in the crotch and then jumping up to hit a cutter! Blaze goes for the quick pinfall!

Andrew Fulton: With the mass of bodies in the ring, the ref just gets into position and gets a one count before Eddie D kicks out.

Jeremy Tucker: Graysie grabs Keith by the head and punches him a few times, but Keith grabs her low to lift her up into a bear hug with his face right at the level to motorboat her! The heck?

Andrew Fulton: Man, if only I could do that, and you know...not get the retribution that’s gonna happen. Graysie screams in indignation and hits an ear pop to get Keith to release her. Eric Dane hits a back elbow upside Keith’s head, but is dumped out of the ring from behind by Oxford Osland!

Jeremy Tucker: Oxford goes to the ropes, and baseball slide dropkicks the rising Eric Dane, going out of the ring with him. Graysie Parker rolls out of the ring, grabs Oxford, and sends him crashing into the ring steps to demolish them.

Andrew Fulton: Blaze Freya goes to get Eddie D up, but Eddie grabs her and hits a belly to belly suplex. He then seizes her, bends her over his knee, and begins to spank her! Keith Williams stands up with a smile as he just watches this happen, but what’s he doing now?

Keith Williams: That’s not how you do it!

Jeremy Tucker: Keith grabs Blaze by the bottoms and whips them down in a smooth motion to expose her naughty bits to the entire world. What the heck?

Keith Williams: Carry on!

Andrew Fulton: And Eddie D does just that! He spanks Blaze Freya’s bared ass! Though I think a few of those shots went a little low, if you know what I mean.

Jeremy Tucker: We know what you mean.

Andrew Fulton: Smacked a kitty, Eddie did.

Jeremy Tucker: Stop!

Andrew Fulton: Graysie Parker grabs the downed Oxford Osland and bodyslams him onto the floor. Eric Dane looks like he’s going to walk over and help when Keith Williams slides out of the ring, elbows Eric in the side of the head, and slams his face into the ring apron!

Jeremy Tucker: Blaze Freya rolls off of Eddie’s knee and rolls into the center of the ring onto her belly. Her bottom and...naughty bits...are bright red!

Andrew Fulton: And now’s the time for Eddie D to tap that shit!

Jeremy Tucker: This isn’t a porn?

Andrew Fulton: Oh right. I forgot.

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D walks over to the ropes and begins shouting down at Graysie Parker as she power bombs Oxford onto the floor. She rolls into the ring and gets into Eddie’s face. Eddie looks like he’s trying to explain himself when Eric Dane rolls into the ring, shoves Graysie out of the way so he can get into Eddie D’s face for yelling at Graysie!

Andrew Fulton: This can’t be good. Looks like Oxford Osland is up and rolls into the ring with Keith Williams. They hit a double drop kick to smash Eric and Eddie’s heads together. Concussion city!

Jeremy Tucker: Blaze Freya is up, stepping out of her bottoms? Why not just pull them up? OH! She hits Graysie with TORN! (gore style spear) and goes for the pinfall!

Andrew Fulton: One! Two! Three!

Jeremy Tucker: Blaze Freya and the ReVenants win it!

Frank Salazar: Winners of the match via pinfall Blaze Freya, Keith Williams, and Oxford Osland!

Andrew Fulton: Keith Williams hands Blaze Freya her bottoms, sniffing them before he does so. Man oh man are the censors going to have a field day with this match.

Jeremy Tucker: Luckily we’re on a delay so Blaze below the waist is being pixelated. She at least puts her bottoms back on before she and her team mates head to the back. Medics are coming down to the ring to check on Eric Dane and Eddie D as they haven’t come around yet.

Andrew Fulton: They hit heads really hard.

Jeremy Tucker: And coming up next we have Lucky Linda la Fey as she takes on Rally Jackson for the World title!

Andrew Fulton: You know, I have heard that Graysie has been bitching that Linda gets to be in intergender matches for titles while she is seemingly stuck in the Women’s division.

Jeremy Tucker: She’ll get there. She’ll get there.

Andrew Fulton: Yeah. Maybe if she bares her ass and kitty once a show like Blaze, that could happen. Plus you know. This WAS an intergender. She just DID face two men.

Jeremy Tucker: She doesn’t need to expose herself to get far in this industry.

Andrew Fulton: Yeah, but it can’t hurt.

[frostbite]

Outside in the parking lot...

As we are getting ready for tonight main event, our cameras have cut outside. It is roughly around ten in the evening, as our cameras are out here for a reason but we do not know exactly what. Our camera crew continue to try and find whatever they are looking for. After moving several feet they can not find anything.

Voice.. I hope this will please you love.

Our cameras make a slight turn to the right, as they are in the back of this parking lot, as someone is standing right next to gray !exus. We notice there is a red can right beside the driver side, hopefully nobody has ran out of gas, but from the odor well we smell gasoline. Someone is bending down and picking up this can as they pour this all over the Lexus. Our crew does not know what to think of this. Our cameras try to focus in on who might be doing this but this parking lots, well lights are not actually the best in the world. However our crew the best on the business shines the bright camera light on this person. They have short blonde hair, as they are wearing a blue hoodie with faded blue jeans and black boots. Whowcee thus happens to be continues to pour this gas tank all over this nice car. Our cameras zoom in, we see that it is Frostbite.

Frostbite pulls his cellphone out if his pocket st ill with the pic of the SWAT World title on it as he is talking to it.

Frostbite.. I hope you like this my love. You said something needed to burn, so why not have this Lexus.

Andrew Fulton.. Wait a second, Jeremy is that your car.

Jeremy Tucker.. I believe you are right. What in the hell is Frostbite doing?

Frostbite finishes pouring gas out of the can as he tosses it.

Frostbite.. My love, I hope this will please you.

He continues to look at his phone.

Do you want to do the honors.

Back in the arena a frantic look is on Jeremy face.

Jeremy Tucker.. I just bought that car days ago.

Frostbite reaches into his pocket as he pulls out a lighter. He looks into the camera with an intense look in his blue eyes. As he is holding the phone in his left hand and the lighter in his right.

Frostbite.. Jeremy, I have heard you disrespecting my woman. You call her, I believe some object. My woman is no object, she is the love of my life. She demanding something or someone was going to get set on fire.

Jeremy Tucker.. Frostbite please do not this. I just bought that car.

Frostbite.. Jeremy, I told everybody in this company, I will burn every inch of the company to the ground until my love and I, are finally together. You have made fun of her and that must be punished.

He looks at his phone.

Frostbite.. Right my love.

He nods.

Frostbite.. She agrees.

Jeremy Tucker.. Frostbite, I beg you please do not do this.

Frostbite.. You must apologize to your queen.

He holds the phone up to the camera.

Andrew Fulton.. Jeremy, I would say I am sorry or you will be walking back to the hotel.

Jeremy Tucker.. But I am talking to a phone and saying I am sorry.

Andrew Fulton.. Dude you better say you are sorry.

Jeremy pauses.

Jeremy Tucker.. Look I am sorry for calling you an object. You are certainly an important part of Frostbite life as it shows that he loves you so much. So if I did anything to upset you then I am sorry.

Frostbite takes the phone from the screen as he talk to it.

Frostbite.. Jeremy you are quite lucky man. She forgives you.

Jeremy begins to breath a sigh of relief as he has saved his car from being burned.

Frostbite drops his head before he slowly picks it back up with a sinister grin comes across his lips.

Frostbite.. But I do not believe you.

Frostbite flicks the lighter on as he tosses it on top of the car, as it engulfed quickly in flames.

Jeremy Tucker.. OH MY GOD......... CAN SOMEONE PLEASE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT...

Andrew Fulton jaw drops as he can not say anything at all.

Frostbite.. Burn baby burn.

He laughs at he walks away, talking to his phone.

Frostbite.. I knew you would like that.

As we head to break we see the car going up in flames.