Dominicus and the Ebony Stones Filler Episode: Online Post
Feb 12, 2021 21:33:51 GMT -5
Justin, Eron Hunter, and 2 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Feb 12, 2021 21:33:51 GMT -5
To NPW and Whoever Else I Guess,
Lord Dominicus here! Your NPWNACC, I wanted to tell you all to stop worrying about me. I am writing (or more having somebody write for me while I yell at them- don’t put that in there, no I just said don’t tell them- whatever) from the hospital to let all of you know my status after “Antiquated” –yes put the quotes on it, it’s just how you do it- Alex Turner and Stupid- no that doesn’t need quotes- Eric Dane ruined everything YET AGAIN. I mean, it’s almost like when those two ruined the previous main championship of NPW so bad that it was retired and I became the ONLY singles champion of the company. Now, just as then, this is not my fault at all and if you try to blame me you’re clearly projecting.
-What? Yes that’s how it works. If I project first then I win the project-off because now they can’t claim it since I told them they were projecting. Why are you writing? Stop that, we need to focus!
Anyway, I hate to disappoint my detractors, but I am indeed fine. According to the doctor, glue-based incidents have been incredibly common during the last year and despite the initial roar of laughter at seeing an entire table’s worth of stuff stuck on my person- Should we erase the “laughter” part? I probably don’t want that public. What, you’re writing in pen? Oh well, let’s keep going- The doctor assured me that almost all of it was superficial. I’ll have to throw that particular set of clothes away but a big star like me doesn’t care. And what’s a little skin anyway? I mean, do we really need skin to live? I’m sure there are plenty of skinless people hiding in crevices or something; I don’t know biology well enough to confirm that though. Why are you shaking your head?
So it’s been brought to my attention that stupid Eric Dane seems to think that he’s some big shot for defending his title a time or two while I have defended mine….not at all? Wow. You see though, there’s a difference that you need to take note of here. While it is true that I haven’t put the NPW North American Cruiserweight Champion- yes write the whole thing out- on the line since…ever- in my now I think over six months as champ nobody has questioned my claim to the championship. Nobody- can you put that in italics? You don’t know calligraphy? Alright, fine.
Meanwhile, because Dane and Turner screwed up their title parenth- (since they’re too out of shape for mine), when Dane finally returned and claimed the new fat boy belt as his own people were like “Yeah, but like, who are you again?” I’m pretty sure that’s a direct quote from somebody. You see, Dane had to not only rebuild his image, but that of his worthless championship. That’s what happens when you give a guy who’s best days were twenty years ago the first run of a championship. I’m sure after that Gus has beefed up security at ringside- he really should anyway.
What I’m getting at is that, yeah, Eric Dane, you’ve had to defend your title, because its initial value was zero and thus meaningless. You’ve been screaming into the darkness (that means screaming at me) about how valuable you are but you’re still building a legacy. Me on the other hand? I didn’t ruin a main event- well two now if you count the Lethal Lottery debacle- I won my championship and have retained it with the luster of a king. A “Lord” if you will.
What does all of this mean? Well, let me put it in words even Scott Steel will get the first time. Suck it, Eric Dane. You’re jealous of me and your attempts to slander my name because you’re unable to lay off the Ho Hos long enough to compete in my division only further discredits your PATHETIC- did you put that in caps- attempts to revive your career through bullying and trying to get a lizard man to fellate you- yes I want you to write fellate.
Anyway, my meds are kicking in and I’m getting sleepy. BUT FEAR NOT (all caps) I’ll be there at Vicious Valentine’s to kick the crap out of you guys, and maybe Turner if there’s “Time”- put that in quotes because I’m making a joke about his name- and if Mack will let me. So worry not, the trios match is on, and also Dane and Turner suck just like so much.
Lord Dominicus here! Your NPWNACC, I wanted to tell you all to stop worrying about me. I am writing (or more having somebody write for me while I yell at them- don’t put that in there, no I just said don’t tell them- whatever) from the hospital to let all of you know my status after “Antiquated” –yes put the quotes on it, it’s just how you do it- Alex Turner and Stupid- no that doesn’t need quotes- Eric Dane ruined everything YET AGAIN. I mean, it’s almost like when those two ruined the previous main championship of NPW so bad that it was retired and I became the ONLY singles champion of the company. Now, just as then, this is not my fault at all and if you try to blame me you’re clearly projecting.
-What? Yes that’s how it works. If I project first then I win the project-off because now they can’t claim it since I told them they were projecting. Why are you writing? Stop that, we need to focus!
Anyway, I hate to disappoint my detractors, but I am indeed fine. According to the doctor, glue-based incidents have been incredibly common during the last year and despite the initial roar of laughter at seeing an entire table’s worth of stuff stuck on my person- Should we erase the “laughter” part? I probably don’t want that public. What, you’re writing in pen? Oh well, let’s keep going- The doctor assured me that almost all of it was superficial. I’ll have to throw that particular set of clothes away but a big star like me doesn’t care. And what’s a little skin anyway? I mean, do we really need skin to live? I’m sure there are plenty of skinless people hiding in crevices or something; I don’t know biology well enough to confirm that though. Why are you shaking your head?
So it’s been brought to my attention that stupid Eric Dane seems to think that he’s some big shot for defending his title a time or two while I have defended mine….not at all? Wow. You see though, there’s a difference that you need to take note of here. While it is true that I haven’t put the NPW North American Cruiserweight Champion- yes write the whole thing out- on the line since…ever- in my now I think over six months as champ nobody has questioned my claim to the championship. Nobody- can you put that in italics? You don’t know calligraphy? Alright, fine.
Meanwhile, because Dane and Turner screwed up their title parenth- (since they’re too out of shape for mine), when Dane finally returned and claimed the new fat boy belt as his own people were like “Yeah, but like, who are you again?” I’m pretty sure that’s a direct quote from somebody. You see, Dane had to not only rebuild his image, but that of his worthless championship. That’s what happens when you give a guy who’s best days were twenty years ago the first run of a championship. I’m sure after that Gus has beefed up security at ringside- he really should anyway.
What I’m getting at is that, yeah, Eric Dane, you’ve had to defend your title, because its initial value was zero and thus meaningless. You’ve been screaming into the darkness (that means screaming at me) about how valuable you are but you’re still building a legacy. Me on the other hand? I didn’t ruin a main event- well two now if you count the Lethal Lottery debacle- I won my championship and have retained it with the luster of a king. A “Lord” if you will.
What does all of this mean? Well, let me put it in words even Scott Steel will get the first time. Suck it, Eric Dane. You’re jealous of me and your attempts to slander my name because you’re unable to lay off the Ho Hos long enough to compete in my division only further discredits your PATHETIC- did you put that in caps- attempts to revive your career through bullying and trying to get a lizard man to fellate you- yes I want you to write fellate.
Anyway, my meds are kicking in and I’m getting sleepy. BUT FEAR NOT (all caps) I’ll be there at Vicious Valentine’s to kick the crap out of you guys, and maybe Turner if there’s “Time”- put that in quotes because I’m making a joke about his name- and if Mack will let me. So worry not, the trios match is on, and also Dane and Turner suck just like so much.
With EVIL (caps) Intent,
Lord Dominicus
Lord Dominicus
