Building a Support Cis-stem [JABRONI MASQUERADE 1/2]
Feb 13, 2021 11:18:41 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz, bloodiedfox, and 1 more like this
Post by Cross Recoba on Feb 13, 2021 11:18:41 GMT -5
INT. JABRONI’S LOUNGE - DAY
OVER BLACK
TITLE: DIVERSITY IS AN OLD, OLD WOODEN SHIP THAT WAS USED IN THE CIVIL WAR ERA - RON BURGUNDY
FADE IN
JABRONI is addressing someone off-camera.
A cracking sound off-camera is heard, possibly a monocle…
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B puts down a paper, the headline reads:
HOMELESS BRITISH DUO TERORRIZE NEIGHBORHOOD
Domestic carnage caused by pinko tag-team
“DISCO BOY” laughs, far beyond the point of it not being awkward.
“DISCO BOY” continues to laugh
JABRONI pauses, partly in effect and in part because ideas happen on an almost bi-annual basis inside his brain.
Off-screen, a sigh from “DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B is heard.
JABRONI’s face drops as he knows what’s coming.
JABRONI’s eyes turn to a helpless plea.
INT. JABRONI’S LOUNGE - DAY
OVER BLACK
TITLE: MORE THAN THIRTY MINUTES LATER…
FADE IN
JABRONI remains in the same position we left him in. A noise in his pocket goes off and he checks his phone. Pressing a button we hear:
The line cuts dead and JABRONI stares at his phone before putting it away and staring into space once more.
A knock is heard at the door.
POV - JABRONI
He steps towards the door and sees a large pink blur the otherside.
JABRONI grabs the phone from his pocket He quickly punches in a number.
FADE OUT
OVER BLACK
TITLE: DIVERSITY IS AN OLD, OLD WOODEN SHIP THAT WAS USED IN THE CIVIL WAR ERA - RON BURGUNDY
FADE IN
JABRONI is addressing someone off-camera.
AL JABRONI (CONT’D)
It’s ridiculous, she absolutely CIS-Shamed me! Do you know how it feels like to be oppressed like that? The embarrassment? Doesn’t she realize that I feel the eyes on me when I go through customs at an airport and NO-ONE gives me the third-degree? I feel people judging me all the while! That’s not right, you know after I lost my shot for the XHF Junior Heavyweight title? I went down to Baskin Robbins and ordered the biggest sundae I could and you know what happened?
(BEAT)
AL JABRONI (CONT’D)
NO-ONE told me to look after my waist! No-one cared what I looked like! It was dehumanizing, Johnny, it was like I wasn’t even there!
(BEAT)
AL JABRONI (CONT’D)
It hit me last week when I looked around and I saw Tiger, Dresden, and Chant in the ring? I look around and realized the tokenism that was in play in NLW!
AL JABRONI (CONT’D)
I’m being serious, Johnny! You look at someone like Leon Chant, or Big Tiger, and then Eli Dresden and it hits you. You’re only there to make up the numbers, almost like a quota to be met…
CUT TO:
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B puts down a paper, the headline reads:
HOMELESS BRITISH DUO TERORRIZE NEIGHBORHOOD
Domestic carnage caused by pinko tag-team
{YOU REALLY WANNA SEE DISCO BOYS FACE?}
CUT TO:
AL JABRONI (CONT’D)
THEY CAN ALL WRESTLE!
“DISCO BOY” laughs, far beyond the point of it not being awkward.
AL JABRONI (CONT’D)
I’m just there to make up the numbers! You’ve got Leon Chant, he’s the champion! He proved himself in MCCW, he even dropped the damn Chantsistency!
“DISCO BOY” continues to laugh
AL JABRONI (CONT’D)
Have you seen the size of him? He could have used me as a loofah in his singlet! Then you had Big Tiger! I’d say he had more wrestling talent than me in his little finger but...you know...anyways, I tried to apologize to him for the mix-up with the journalist - HE DID NOT LOOK HAPPY!
JABRONI pauses, partly in effect and in part because ideas happen on an almost bi-annual basis inside his brain.
AL JABRONI
Like I mean, seriously unhappy - really angry. I felt like I needed to climb to the top of a tall redwood and pull it up after me...that’s how angry he looked when I mentioned the porno! Then there’s the worst of them - Eli Dresden...I know, why is she the worst? Because I got to know her...not in the biblical sense or the porno sense but I actually talked to her when I gave her that electric whisk and....she can wrestle the best out the lot of them! I can’t even hit my patented evasion move…
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B (O.S)
When you run like a girl?
AL JABRONI
Exactly, can’t even run away from it because she can fly too!
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B (O.S)
Well, that leaves you one approach….
JABRONI’s face drops as he knows what’s coming.
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B (CONT’D) (O.S)
Wrestling school it is…
JABRONI’s eyes turn to a helpless plea.
AL JABRONI
C’mon, Johnny. That’s what they’ll EXPECT me to do! I nearly won the XHF Junior Heavyweight Title!
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B (O.S)
Nearly being the only word to focus on. I’m going to put together a plan, meet me at the wrestling school in a half-hour, okay?
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B can be heard exiting through the front-door. JABRONI maintains the level of gorm that we’ve all become accustomed to.
CUT TO:
INT. JABRONI’S LOUNGE - DAY
OVER BLACK
TITLE: MORE THAN THIRTY MINUTES LATER…
FADE IN
JABRONI remains in the same position we left him in. A noise in his pocket goes off and he checks his phone. Pressing a button we hear:
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B (O.S)
Al....WHERE IN FUCK ARE YOU? IF I HAVE TO COME BACK TO YOUR HOUSE AND DRAG YOU TO THE SCHOOL, I WILL HAVE YOU DOING HINDU SQUATS UNTIL YOU SHIT PINK...what?....YES, I’M AWARE YOU CAN’T SHIT PINK! THAT’S THE POINT!!
The line cuts dead and JABRONI stares at his phone before putting it away and staring into space once more.
A knock is heard at the door.
CUT TO:
POV - JABRONI
He steps towards the door and sees a large pink blur the otherside.
VOICE (O.S.)
You couldn’t let us in, could you? We’ve taken our show on the road and it we’re not sure the local population like it!
(BEAT)
AL JABRONI
Gimme a minute! I need to find the key.
JABRONI grabs the phone from his pocket He quickly punches in a number.
(BEAT)
AL JABRONI
Yeah, it’s me...you might want to get over here...I’m about to do something that is epic or stupid and it’s a fine-line which way it’ll go.
FADE OUT
