Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Feb 20, 2021 4:50:23 GMT -5
*We open as a friendly-looking but generally uninteresting man in his 30’s or so welcomes the DARK LORD OF NPW, Lord Dominicus, into a small conference room.*
Man: Henry Anderson, thank you very much Mr. Dominicus for this sit down interview with Mississauga.com!
*He reaches out for a handshake but Dominicus does not reply, slowly he withdraws his hand.*
Henry: Ah…yeah…the pandemic, sorry about that Mr. Dominicus
LD: Yes…the pandemic, sure. Also I prefer the “Lord” nomenclature over “Mr” if you please.
Henry: Oh yes, sorry. Please, please, come in, sit down.
*Dominicus is ushered into the room and takes a seat- not before he takes off the NPW North American Cruiserweight Championship first and sets it on the table, prominently displayed for the reporter. In kind, Mr. Anderson also sits down and places a small hand recorder on the table as well as a yellow notepad. He looks at the previous ONLY champion of the company.*
Henry: Are you ready? Everything after this is on the record.
LD: Absolutely.
Henry: Ok, good.
*He clicks the recorder on.*
Henry: One two three, I’m here with Lord Dominicus, the current Northern Pro Wrestling North American Cruiserweight Champion-
LD: It’s a mouthful, isn’t it?
Henry: Yes it is. Do you have a preferred name for it?
LD: No, I like to give the title its due respect. This championship has the longest history of any title in NPW- a legacy I’m carrying on my dark shoulders.
Henry: Yes, yes, I understand. Now then, let’s get to the “main event” as wrestlers say- How are you preparing for what people are calling the “Fight of the Century” against Eric Dane?
LD: Wait, who’s calling it the fight of the century?
Henry: …Well…I am. See if I phrase it with “what people are” either calling or saying I can basically say anything. So I’m willing the “Fight of the Century” into being.
LD: Wait, so you can basically write anything and if you use the right words it becomes news?
Henry: More or less
LD: Hmmm. So if we wanted to, we could frame this as a David and Goliath story, right?
*The young-ish Canadian reporter squares up in his chair, something has him excited. He starts scribbling on his legal pad*
Henry: Yes we can!
LD: Yeah, a real destroyer of worlds versus the one man who is brave enough to stand up to him!
Henry: Oh yeah, this is good stuff.
LD: You could write across the top of the page, “Eric Dane vs Lord Dominicus- The Shining Light of Canada Takes on Its Greatest Evil!”
*He waves his hand across the air mimicking the headline*
LD: “How could the last bastion of normality stop this dark cloud that’s settled across all of Canada?”
*Anderson is writing frantically taking notes.*
Henry: Yes! How would you do that?
LD: Do what?
Henry: …You know; how would you take down “Goliath” so to speak?
LD: What?
Henry: You know all that stuff you were just saying. You know, you’re the little David taking on the mighty Goliath……?
*Mr. Anderson circles a hand around trying to get Dominicus to continue. The NPW NACC turns his head sideways.*
LD: What are you talking about? I’M Goliath in this story. I’m the longest reigning champion. I’m the one who’s “dark cloud” is spreading- like it or not I’ve got a lot of followers in the arena and at home- especially at home considering the plague and all. I’m the one with the championship everyone cares about.
Henry: But Dane has the Syndicate.
LD: And David had the entire Israelite army- and I’ve got my own friends to back me up.
*The report writes something in his legal pad- wait, no, he is scratching out large swaths of notes. He sighs.*
Henry: Ok, let’s get away from that for a moment. Eric Dane recently released a promo from the toilet-
LD: -Who is he, Jeffrey Viper?
Henry: Anyway, he made some comments that seemed to counter your previous remarks on him.
LD: Ok.
Henry: ….That’s it? Ok?
*Lord Dominicus shrugs.*
LD: Yeah, okay. Good for him. Why do I care?
Henry: Well he pointed out that you called your championship a midcard title.
LD: Hmm. I mean, I did say that it was considered a secondary championship- but I think his words are actually more correct.
Henry: Wait, are you saying that the NPW North American Cruiserweight Championship- which you’re vaunting so high up and insisting I say the whole name of- is a midcard title?
LD: No, I’m saying it was in the midcard- literally. I wasn’t in the main event the night I won it, was I? But look where we are now! We had a whole cruiserweight tournament! That’s multiple shows dedicated exclusively to a division that became THE division in the company! Who did that? Did some overweight behind-the-times guy who thinks a toilet promo is the highest level of comedy or symbolism do that?
*Lord Dominicus looks around the room. Henry does too for some reason.*
LD: No? Then who did it?
*The Cruiserweight Champion holds up a finger, it snakes on his finger back and forth. His head follows the serpentine movements. The finger starts looking, looking around, it finds itself at the NPW NACC title belt, runs itself across Lord Dominicus’ nameplate, and having picked up the scent points at LORD DOMINICUS, OMG I’M SO SURPRISED.*
LD: Oh that’s right! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG! I put the spotlight on the cruiserweight division, a group of men who actually put health above girth and work hard to prove their value. Not over-sold past-their-prime divas who seem to think that their existence is the end-all-be all in the company. So yes. Ok. Good for Dane.
Henry: I seemed to have hit a nerve- or I guess he did?
LD: No, I’m merely making a clarification for you. But you want a scoop so let me give it to you.
*Dominicus sits up in his chair.*
LD: Eric Dane might win this match. It’s not a high possibility, but it’s there.
Henry: What?
LD: Just that, Dane might win. I mean, he’s got a pretty strong set of clubs in Scott Steel and lizard man
Henry: You mean Jesse Jameson?
LD: Yeah, that one. He’s got those guys and they could easily turn the tide to his advantage. But let me tell you something.
*Dominicus leans closer over the table.*
LD: Even if Dane’s hand is raised at the end. I will know, the people watching will know, and most importantly Eric Dane will know that I won. Because he’ll have proven nothing. His reign will continue to be one of a man supported by his entourage instead of himself. He’ll have done what? Overcome a guy he already said he was too good for? And he had to do it with help? A guy half his size? And what did he gain? Nothing.
*The self-proclaimed de-facto top champion in NPW leans back in his chair*
LD: Eric Dane set in motion a chance for a guy he’s always looked past, looked over, to walk up on March 16th and knock down his house of cards. And if he wins? So what? I’ll continue my quest and he’ll continue being boring old Dane. He has nothing to gain from this match. But me?
*Dominicus points to himself.*
LD: I have the chance to take that all away from him. And as a competitor I get to go in and prove to all those guys who don’t know how a treadmill works that the cruiser weight class won’t be overlooked by them and that we are in fact dominant. And I get to take his golden protection and expose him as the hollow shell of a human being that is Eric Dane.
*Henry is writing frantically again trying to keep up.*
*Dominicus leans across the table and pokes the legal pad*
LD: Put that in your little article, Henry.
*Dominicus does that mouth click you do when you wink sometimes, but obviously because of the mask we can’t tell if he’s winking. He then gets up, takes his championship, looks at it, slowly and symbolically wraps it around his waist, and proudly walks out of the offices of Mississauga.com. The camera fades out.*
Man: Henry Anderson, thank you very much Mr. Dominicus for this sit down interview with Mississauga.com!
*He reaches out for a handshake but Dominicus does not reply, slowly he withdraws his hand.*
Henry: Ah…yeah…the pandemic, sorry about that Mr. Dominicus
LD: Yes…the pandemic, sure. Also I prefer the “Lord” nomenclature over “Mr” if you please.
Henry: Oh yes, sorry. Please, please, come in, sit down.
*Dominicus is ushered into the room and takes a seat- not before he takes off the NPW North American Cruiserweight Championship first and sets it on the table, prominently displayed for the reporter. In kind, Mr. Anderson also sits down and places a small hand recorder on the table as well as a yellow notepad. He looks at the previous ONLY champion of the company.*
Henry: Are you ready? Everything after this is on the record.
LD: Absolutely.
Henry: Ok, good.
*He clicks the recorder on.*
Henry: One two three, I’m here with Lord Dominicus, the current Northern Pro Wrestling North American Cruiserweight Champion-
LD: It’s a mouthful, isn’t it?
Henry: Yes it is. Do you have a preferred name for it?
LD: No, I like to give the title its due respect. This championship has the longest history of any title in NPW- a legacy I’m carrying on my dark shoulders.
Henry: Yes, yes, I understand. Now then, let’s get to the “main event” as wrestlers say- How are you preparing for what people are calling the “Fight of the Century” against Eric Dane?
LD: Wait, who’s calling it the fight of the century?
Henry: …Well…I am. See if I phrase it with “what people are” either calling or saying I can basically say anything. So I’m willing the “Fight of the Century” into being.
LD: Wait, so you can basically write anything and if you use the right words it becomes news?
Henry: More or less
LD: Hmmm. So if we wanted to, we could frame this as a David and Goliath story, right?
*The young-ish Canadian reporter squares up in his chair, something has him excited. He starts scribbling on his legal pad*
Henry: Yes we can!
LD: Yeah, a real destroyer of worlds versus the one man who is brave enough to stand up to him!
Henry: Oh yeah, this is good stuff.
LD: You could write across the top of the page, “Eric Dane vs Lord Dominicus- The Shining Light of Canada Takes on Its Greatest Evil!”
*He waves his hand across the air mimicking the headline*
LD: “How could the last bastion of normality stop this dark cloud that’s settled across all of Canada?”
*Anderson is writing frantically taking notes.*
Henry: Yes! How would you do that?
LD: Do what?
Henry: …You know; how would you take down “Goliath” so to speak?
LD: What?
Henry: You know all that stuff you were just saying. You know, you’re the little David taking on the mighty Goliath……?
*Mr. Anderson circles a hand around trying to get Dominicus to continue. The NPW NACC turns his head sideways.*
LD: What are you talking about? I’M Goliath in this story. I’m the longest reigning champion. I’m the one who’s “dark cloud” is spreading- like it or not I’ve got a lot of followers in the arena and at home- especially at home considering the plague and all. I’m the one with the championship everyone cares about.
Henry: But Dane has the Syndicate.
LD: And David had the entire Israelite army- and I’ve got my own friends to back me up.
*The report writes something in his legal pad- wait, no, he is scratching out large swaths of notes. He sighs.*
Henry: Ok, let’s get away from that for a moment. Eric Dane recently released a promo from the toilet-
LD: -Who is he, Jeffrey Viper?
Henry: Anyway, he made some comments that seemed to counter your previous remarks on him.
LD: Ok.
Henry: ….That’s it? Ok?
*Lord Dominicus shrugs.*
LD: Yeah, okay. Good for him. Why do I care?
Henry: Well he pointed out that you called your championship a midcard title.
LD: Hmm. I mean, I did say that it was considered a secondary championship- but I think his words are actually more correct.
Henry: Wait, are you saying that the NPW North American Cruiserweight Championship- which you’re vaunting so high up and insisting I say the whole name of- is a midcard title?
LD: No, I’m saying it was in the midcard- literally. I wasn’t in the main event the night I won it, was I? But look where we are now! We had a whole cruiserweight tournament! That’s multiple shows dedicated exclusively to a division that became THE division in the company! Who did that? Did some overweight behind-the-times guy who thinks a toilet promo is the highest level of comedy or symbolism do that?
*Lord Dominicus looks around the room. Henry does too for some reason.*
LD: No? Then who did it?
*The Cruiserweight Champion holds up a finger, it snakes on his finger back and forth. His head follows the serpentine movements. The finger starts looking, looking around, it finds itself at the NPW NACC title belt, runs itself across Lord Dominicus’ nameplate, and having picked up the scent points at LORD DOMINICUS, OMG I’M SO SURPRISED.*
LD: Oh that’s right! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG! I put the spotlight on the cruiserweight division, a group of men who actually put health above girth and work hard to prove their value. Not over-sold past-their-prime divas who seem to think that their existence is the end-all-be all in the company. So yes. Ok. Good for Dane.
Henry: I seemed to have hit a nerve- or I guess he did?
LD: No, I’m merely making a clarification for you. But you want a scoop so let me give it to you.
*Dominicus sits up in his chair.*
LD: Eric Dane might win this match. It’s not a high possibility, but it’s there.
Henry: What?
LD: Just that, Dane might win. I mean, he’s got a pretty strong set of clubs in Scott Steel and lizard man
Henry: You mean Jesse Jameson?
LD: Yeah, that one. He’s got those guys and they could easily turn the tide to his advantage. But let me tell you something.
*Dominicus leans closer over the table.*
LD: Even if Dane’s hand is raised at the end. I will know, the people watching will know, and most importantly Eric Dane will know that I won. Because he’ll have proven nothing. His reign will continue to be one of a man supported by his entourage instead of himself. He’ll have done what? Overcome a guy he already said he was too good for? And he had to do it with help? A guy half his size? And what did he gain? Nothing.
*The self-proclaimed de-facto top champion in NPW leans back in his chair*
LD: Eric Dane set in motion a chance for a guy he’s always looked past, looked over, to walk up on March 16th and knock down his house of cards. And if he wins? So what? I’ll continue my quest and he’ll continue being boring old Dane. He has nothing to gain from this match. But me?
*Dominicus points to himself.*
LD: I have the chance to take that all away from him. And as a competitor I get to go in and prove to all those guys who don’t know how a treadmill works that the cruiser weight class won’t be overlooked by them and that we are in fact dominant. And I get to take his golden protection and expose him as the hollow shell of a human being that is Eric Dane.
*Henry is writing frantically again trying to keep up.*
LD: So let Dane come. Let him call all his friends, few as they are, in the back. Let him call up people from across the entire sphere of wrestling in all of his decades of work who’ll actually answer the phone. Tell them all to come on March 16th to the Powerade Center. Let him- sorry, his friends- beat up every guy in the back, myself included. And let him try to publicly embarrass me on what could be the day I’m declared essentially the Triple Crown champion and begin my great REIGN OF DARKNESS across NPW. Let him do that.
*He taps on the table*
LD: And Eric Dane can go on being the smallest title holder in this company, just like he’s been so far.
*Dominicus leans across the table and pokes the legal pad*
LD: Put that in your little article, Henry.
*Dominicus does that mouth click you do when you wink sometimes, but obviously because of the mask we can’t tell if he’s winking. He then gets up, takes his championship, looks at it, slowly and symbolically wraps it around his waist, and proudly walks out of the offices of Mississauga.com. The camera fades out.*
