What is reality?

[Venom 🕷]

If you feelin' like a pimp [Nah, Bro,  

go and brush your shoulders off 

“It’s been a long time, too long. Not since I was on top, I’m always on top of whatever I do. It’s been too long since I was me. Since I was in this ring.”

Light pours in through the windows of a brightly lit gym. Young men walk towards the exit with bags slung over their shoulders. A woman takes her hacks at a heavy bag while her trainer holds on for dear life while screaming instructions at her. A loud chatter fills the building, drowning out the sounds of her punches and her trainer’s commands. It comes from a group of people surrounding the ring in the center of the gym. Inside a man dances around waiting as his opponent stands across the ring with his head buried in the top turn buckle. After a few moments the man’s opponent turns around and begins bouncing around with a cocky smirk on his face.

“This is when I feel most like me, like myself.”

The two fighters walk to the center of the ring and touch gloves. The man runs at his opponent, the former superstar of multiple federations Venom, and he is taken down immediately with a drop kick. The former champion is quick to his feet and throws his arms out smiling showboating as his opponent rubs his face near the ropes thinking of his next move.

“This is when I am me again. I don’t have to be a champ. I don’t have to be the best. I do, though, have to be here, in this ring.”

The man gets to his feet and begins circling his veteran opponent. He goes to lock up, but Venom quickly moves behind him and locks him up from behind. He grabs at Venom’s hands trying to break the waist lock hold, but he is soon lifted up and dropped on his side. He jumps up quickly after the hold is released and he again runs at Venom. Venom leap frogs over the running opponent and when the man bounces off the ropes and returns towards Venom he is lifted up into the air. The man falls down straight on his stomach where Venom is waiting with double knees up for a flap jack gut buster. The man rolls out of the ring and holds his stomach on the floor as in the ring his cocky opponent showboats.

“I’m not always the best anymore, I’m just kidding, I always am. Not because I’m still the greatest, I can’t know that, but because no one here is on my level.”

The scene fades out to black, and a new scene fades back in. It is the same gym, but it is no longer bright. The windows are caked over with dirt. None of the lights are on. The only light in the room comes from a broken window that light from the bright sun pours through. There are no bags, there are no people, and the ring is beat up and covered with dirt. In the corner sits a man. His clothes are ragged and his hair wild and unkempt. He sits in the corner of the ring with his head buried into his arms, face hidden from view.

“This is the only place I feel like me, but am I still who I think I am?”

[Venom 🕷]

Hold 

Hold on 

Hold on to me 

'Cause I’m a little unsteady 

A little unsteady 

A baseball field on a warm summer day. The smell of popcorn and fresh cut grass fill the air. The cheering of a small crowd can be heard. This is not the pros, not even semi-pros, it’s a high school field and the focus is on the runner at second taking his lead.

“This is where I should feel like myself.”

The crowd calms and while the runner bounces on his heels ready to move the sound of the ting of an aluminum bat breaks the silence and the runner takes off like a rocket. He rounds third and heads for home.

“This is where I should want to be instead of training with people I barely know.”

The ball is flying through the air towards home plate, but the runner slides around the catcher to tag home plate and score the winning run.

“This is where I should be happy, ecstatic, where I should be dad.”

He looks up, and standing behind the home plate screen stands Venom, grinning from ear to ear at the young man while his team pounces on him to celebrate the winning run.

“My kids should be my world. They should be my everything.”

The scene replays, but when the young man looks up, no one is standing behind home plate bringing a frown to his face. His teammates pounce him and his frown disappears as he enjoys the moment with his team.

“They should be, but for some reason, I can’t make myself be normal. I can’t make myself be what I should be. I can’t change where I feel like myself. I can’t change anything.”

The scene fades out to black, and a new scene fades back in. It is the same gym as before. Dusty windows, broken equipment, and the same torn up ring in the center. A man sits in the same corner, hair a mess, beard covering his face, and in his hand a picture of Venom and his family. The glass is cracked, the picture is faded, and the kids look quite younger than they should be today.

“I can’t change who I am, no matter how hard I try. I just can’t change where I feel like me.”

[Doc]

"Listen up! Listen up!"

The xtremetron cuts from whatever the hell piece of trash Venom just aired and the real deal, the Flying Scotsman with the big dick, the pimp your bitch at Walmart for 4 dollars 50 and a can of soda, the I wonder if Charlie Velez is getting deported by the new government for being a Mexican immigrant, the let's see if we can beat Rage's record for the longest sentence in XHF history - The Boyhood Dream - Doc, appears on the ramp.

The crowd are booing and stuff, because you know, they love all that deep dark depressive shit that Venom does in his promos. Then Doc staggers out, looking like he just finished off two bottles of the kind of Scotch whiskey Mongo would have been feeding those Thai girls he had in his basement before he turned Christian. He somehow makes it to the ring, only stopping to eyeball some fan who booed him from the front row, going head to head before realizing his Chinese eyes would give away that he was stoned, which violates the terms of his parole.

"Ok, cut all that crap from Venom. Fuckin baseball, who even watches that shit? You do know that NO OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD gives a flying plane into the twin towers about that piece of trash sport?"

The crowd are now booing wildly, Doc is getting major heel heat, hopefully this promo is going to get him a higher "over" rating that the last time some douchbage updated EWR and made him shit.

"I just need to know one thing. And I know what you're thinking. You think I'm going to ask about how Hardcore Harry has not yet died of HIV. The guy has more gaping flesh wounds than a Papa New Guinea hooker, just being in the same room as someone with that disease is enough for him to contract that shit. But I'm not. No. You think I'm going to ask about how Venom can have held the XHF Title for 33 and half straight years when it takes the average man longer to pick the leftover pieces of shit out of his ass hair than it took him to cut a promo - but I'm not!! Instead... I'm going to ask how the hell that guy has had the N word uncensored in his music since before Punker grew his first pube and the FCC have never said a damn thing about it!!!"

Many black people in the audience nod their head in agreement at this abhorrent racism. You can tell that Doc is wondering to himself how many XHF employees voted for Donald Trump in the recent election. He now starts to realize there were never any Muslim employees in his time at the company.

"So it's time to cut the crap. The Doctor is in the house. I don't wanna hear none of that shit about how I lost all my belts a month after winning them because you know why, I dropped those pieces of shit the same way AJ Phoenix got dropped on his face by his mother as a baby to try and make him better looking. I didn't need that gold around my waist to know I was the only guy in the back smart enough to notice that Shadow Dragon wasn't even tall enough to make it in to Six Flags but the son of a bitch was running around with the Junior Heavyweight belt. I was the guy that cost Snake 30 dollars at a rival federation then let it die a month later just to spite him. Without me, the biggest stoner in this company would have been MGK, some American suburban kid who could barely smoke a full joint without taking a dump in his oven thinking it was the toilet."

BOOOOOO

"So it time we set some things straight... Venom, or any other ignoramus in the back, I want you to bring your ass out to this ring to try and trash talk on the mic so I can prove that I am intellectually and verbally superior to you in every way!!!!"

The crowd hold their breath in anticipation as......

[Dave D-Flipz]

*The lights darken. Doc is very confused and probably still drunk ... who really knows I'm not him. I'm just a humble narrator of actions who only exists because you are reading this instead of seeing it. Of course it's dark so nobody is seeing anything. A voice pierces the darkness, booming out at Doc.*

"I may not be a humble doctor like you my good sir but it seems to me like if you were one you would know that dropping ... feces ... like anything, anywhere other than a government issued watercloset in a bag is highly likely to result in arrest or death. ANd also probably not good for your health. As for your belt ... you seem to be wearing a spandex like material so belts should be of no worry my good sir!"

*If you could see Doc he would be looking around and probably reaching for whoever is talking to him ... but it's dark.*

"No I am no expert but it seems like you are not right of mind and it is my duty to help anyone who I come across that is as such."

Doc: What?

"Well for one this place has been closed for ... let's see ... according to my records ... YEARS! I mean the arena is empty."

*The lights in the highest reaches of the arena light showing the arena is indeed empty. We do clearly see the silhouttes of two men in the ring.*

"And you are talking to a prerecorded show of an old broken man who likely cannot even see or hear you! Or perhaps ... you are on the sauce. ... No ... not like ... the brother of the one ... who dies a most terrible death ...."

*the lights go on and we see ...


"IN THE FUTURE! Yes it is clear to me why I have been summoned back to this horrible black age in the history of my federation ... universe ... force... it's been like ten years your time I am clearly suffering the affects of this latest jump in time travel destination, my mind is not quite at its full capacity. But I am sure I will discover it."

*SHogun-Tron suddenly grabs his helmet ... er ... head ...*

"OH MY GOD, OR GOD LIKE DEITY OR PURE LUCK FOR ATHEISTS MY HEAD! IT SWARMS! IS THIS THE WORK OF THE BORGS? OR ... or ... AH! I understand! I may yet not be too late! I am needed elsewhere. I hope you kick the bad habit my good doctor or else you too may end up like the one you call Harry. Let this be a warning!"

*He sprints away ... and we are left just as confused as before*