[Holiday Hell] Jacuzzi chat with special guest Cardi B!
Mar 4, 2021 23:17:02 GMT -5
coolfactor27 likes this
Post by ajr on Mar 4, 2021 23:17:02 GMT -5
{A time stamp appears in the upper-left corner.}
[Time] 1:58 p.m. (Mountain Time Zone)
[Place] Colorado Springs, Colorado
[Location] Lake Granby
The scene opens to soft-white puffy clouds drifting across the clear blue skies with tiny twinkles of silvery diamond like reflective light of the calm blue waters, little liquid mirrors of the sun glimmer. The camera follows a trickling brook dripping into a silky stream that connects to the Colorado River which flows from Shadow Mountain Reservoir into Lake Granby on its northeast side and exits at Granby Dam near the Sunset Point boat launch. Beside the lake and beneath the trees are a host of golden daffodils that flutter and dance in the breeze.
Beyond the flowers, a floating yacht consumes the backdrop with a well tanned man leaning against the railing and giving a friendly wave from the top deck while wearing only a golden speedo, a captain’s hat and the International Championship title worn snuggly around the waist.
-AJR-
ALL ABOOOOARD! I was beginning to wonder if you were going to be a no show.
(Ashton James Riker lifts a class crystal flute glass in a toasting gesture before taking a small sipping taste of bubbling white wine. Ahh. That’s the good stuff. The yacht approaches the docking station and the camera man climbs on board to receive a tour.)
-AJR-
Welcome to the biggest boat money can buy, “The B-Yacht’ch”! A 100-meter superyacht with a top speed of 25 knots and equipped with 50 crew members.
The yacht has a weathered dusty look, reminiscent of French chateaux. Varnished teak accents and moldings juxtapose contemporary elements of an old-world feel. The cherry paneling is complimented with a limed oak edge that contrast nicely with the stained walnut floor. The modern furniture is sprinkled with eclectic pieces. Rather than a contrived space, the mix of different styles makes the yacht feel like a lived-in home with collected bits and pieces of artwork from all over the world. The yacht’s décor is not the result of designers buying all the paintings to go with the rooms’ color theme. Instead, there is an international play of elements, with German mid-19th-century Bidermeier furniture, a Cambodian Buddha, a bamboo overhead in the lounge, Japanese lacquered rice paper in the divider doors, and Chinese lamps and chests. German cabinetmaker Oldenburger custom-built the Antique-designed Chinese chests.
The interior configuration may be traditional, but the level of detail makes the difference. The aft main deck opens to the main salon, then sliding shoji screen doors lead to the formal dining room. Farther forward to port is a commercial galley, with a very large fridge and freezer, commodious workspace, and a nice large window for the chef.
On the starboard passage are offset reverse spiral staircases leading down to the guest accommodations and up to the bridge deck. These stairs provide a dynamic connection to the three decks, and views through the sweeping undersides turn this staircase into a striking sculptural centerpiece.
In the guest quarters, off a central foyer, are two queen-size cabins and two double cabins. A hidden door adjacent to the centrally placed Buddha sculpture allows crew access to service these rooms. Crew quarters for nine are forward along with a good-size crew mess and commercial laundry.
A dumb waiter services all decks. Back up on the main deck forward and to starboard is the full-beam master suite incorporating a library/study, a bedroom with off-center king-size bed to port and lounge area to starboard, and his-and-hers bathrooms. The master is flooded with natural light and has a serene, peaceful ambiance. Handmade silk carpets are soft under foot.
-AJR-
This is my newest toy and as Malcolm Forbes once famously said, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” What is the world really besides a giant playground for the rich and famous? 2020 proved to be my most financially successful year ever, thanks in part to several different investments paying off rather handsomely most notably do to profits from my patented ‘Stupefy’ Cologne. This year? I’m expecting to increase those profit margins by introducing a new body spray and body wash. Oh by the way, there’s a very special surprise guest waiting on us and getting wet as we speak.
The next deck up, forward on the bridge deck, is the captain’s domain with a state-of-the-art integrated bridge that has exceptionally good visibility. Aft is the skylounge, which opens to the luxury aft-deck dining and entertainment area where American hip hop artist, rapper, TV and social media personality, Cardi B wades through the jet bubbling warm waters in a green one piece bathing suit and enjoying a bit of the bubbly inside large 7+ person Jacuzzi.
(Cardi B’s “WAP” plays through the yacht speakers as Ashton James Riker finger combs his blonde pompadour as he steps inside the Jacuzzi and sits across from the Brooklyn born native who smiles in his direction.)
-AJR-
Cardi B, welcome to my humble a-BOAT. First off, I am a big fan after reading in an article where you stated that you became a stripper to escape poverty and domestic violence, having been in an abusive relationship at the time after being kicked out of her mother's house, and that stripping was your only way to earn enough money to escape the situation and get an education. Now you are reportedly worth $24 million and the 11th richest female rapper on the planet so kudos to you on that. You are a true life American success story.
-Cardi B-
“EEEOOOWWW! Thanks for the nice words but I’m a regular degular schmegular kinda gal, Okurrr!”
-AJR-
Okurrr! No need to be humble here, I know you are a real one from those crazy wild stories about you “medicating” your customer clientele to rob them and I can respect the hustle. You did what you had to do to come up and survive in this dog eat dog world.
-Cardi B-
Word. That’s real talk.
-AJR-
You are married to offset, member of the rap group Amigo’s. Is home slice going to get all jelly fish on me when he sees you sharing this Jacuzzi with WWX’s bad boy of Wrestling?
(Cardi B giggle laughs and looks Ashton James Riker a good up and down .)
-Cardi B-
You? A bad boy huh.. Well I’m wit a bad man, ya feel me?! You cute like a puppy dog and all dat but I prefer that muscled up pit-bull with the thick chain collar who can holler ta getta dollar. Okurrr!
-AJR-
Alright. Game recognizes game. Now I’ve got to ask, who do you think will win between the sexy man candy before you and the guy who wants to take away MY International Championship to add to his gold collection in Willie Steen?
-Cardi B-
You are going up against that sweet cup of hot chocolate? I dunno yo.. That’s one talented cat, you best bring ya A+ game and have a plan b in yer back pocket just ta be on the safe side, ya feel me?
-AJR-
Sorry, wrong answer. The correct response we were looking for is Ashton James Riker will prove why THEE Marquee Player is the Greatest International Champion of all time! Here dry your wet ass putang off, this interview is officially over!
(Ashton James Riker throws a white towel that smacks Cardi B in the face, who wraps up her fine ass body and leaves the Jacuzzi in a huff. The International Champion closes both eyes and takes in a deep breath, regaining his composure before casting his baby blues down the barrel of the camera.)
-AJR-
Truth is, I do respect you William. Not for any of the accomplishments or accolades achieved but rather for what is behind the chest and between both ears. There is no questioning the work ethic or skillset of a man who clearly has “the cool factor” unlike some of these nerds with a god complex seeking control.
Perseverance is a sign of a champion and Steen has it in spades but to quote an internet meme.. Never blame someone else for the road you’re on, it’s your own asphalt.
One can “hope” to dethrone quite possibly the greatest International Champion of all time but hope is not a game plan or a strategy in the grand scheme of things. I have learned from the best and clearly know how to win as my track record has proven time after time. I’ve been wildly successful in practically every endeavor that I have chosen to pursue and I have the greenbacks to prove it along with stocks, bonds, gold, silver, bitcoin and a sweet 401k package.
Recently yours truly has even had discussions with the legendary Jon Taffer from the hit television show Bar Rescue about opening up a liquor lounge as my next business venture because the world is my oyster but that’s a bridge to cross once it’s reached.
(Brian Chase steps into the Jacuzzi with a glass of champagne and enters the cameras frame next to Ashton James Riker wearing red and yellow Hawaiian flowered board shorts.)
Bryan Chase: People know me today as an astute business man from a privileged background but I came from humble beginnings and I am no stranger with the law. Especially in my younger years. I’ve been in jail, prison the pod and the honor farm. During these times, I worked several different jail jobs.
Mopping floors. Working the lunch line. Cleaning treys. Delivering food to the women’s section. Doing inmates laundry. Filling commencary bags. Pulling weeds inside and outside of the prison yard.
I did my time and paid my dues to society in an environment filled with not so friendly felons who wouldn’t hesitate to play the punk card on anyone deemed too soft to be there. So don’t get it twisted, I’m a respectfully pleasant person to be around but when push comes to shove? I’ll do what is necessary to defend myself and survive.
I’ll cut to the chase. There’s no “beef” to squash with anyone on my end. However, if someone comes looking for problems with my client? Then I am contractually obligated to resolve the issue with swift and effective action. So with that said, may the better man win.
(Ashton James Riker and Bryan Chase clink their glasses together in a toast and sip away at the bubbly as the camera fixates on the cloud covered skies before slowly fading out to black.)
[Time] 1:58 p.m. (Mountain Time Zone)
[Place] Colorado Springs, Colorado
[Location] Lake Granby
The scene opens to soft-white puffy clouds drifting across the clear blue skies with tiny twinkles of silvery diamond like reflective light of the calm blue waters, little liquid mirrors of the sun glimmer. The camera follows a trickling brook dripping into a silky stream that connects to the Colorado River which flows from Shadow Mountain Reservoir into Lake Granby on its northeast side and exits at Granby Dam near the Sunset Point boat launch. Beside the lake and beneath the trees are a host of golden daffodils that flutter and dance in the breeze.
Beyond the flowers, a floating yacht consumes the backdrop with a well tanned man leaning against the railing and giving a friendly wave from the top deck while wearing only a golden speedo, a captain’s hat and the International Championship title worn snuggly around the waist.
-AJR-
ALL ABOOOOARD! I was beginning to wonder if you were going to be a no show.
(Ashton James Riker lifts a class crystal flute glass in a toasting gesture before taking a small sipping taste of bubbling white wine. Ahh. That’s the good stuff. The yacht approaches the docking station and the camera man climbs on board to receive a tour.)
-AJR-
Welcome to the biggest boat money can buy, “The B-Yacht’ch”! A 100-meter superyacht with a top speed of 25 knots and equipped with 50 crew members.
The yacht has a weathered dusty look, reminiscent of French chateaux. Varnished teak accents and moldings juxtapose contemporary elements of an old-world feel. The cherry paneling is complimented with a limed oak edge that contrast nicely with the stained walnut floor. The modern furniture is sprinkled with eclectic pieces. Rather than a contrived space, the mix of different styles makes the yacht feel like a lived-in home with collected bits and pieces of artwork from all over the world. The yacht’s décor is not the result of designers buying all the paintings to go with the rooms’ color theme. Instead, there is an international play of elements, with German mid-19th-century Bidermeier furniture, a Cambodian Buddha, a bamboo overhead in the lounge, Japanese lacquered rice paper in the divider doors, and Chinese lamps and chests. German cabinetmaker Oldenburger custom-built the Antique-designed Chinese chests.
The interior configuration may be traditional, but the level of detail makes the difference. The aft main deck opens to the main salon, then sliding shoji screen doors lead to the formal dining room. Farther forward to port is a commercial galley, with a very large fridge and freezer, commodious workspace, and a nice large window for the chef.
On the starboard passage are offset reverse spiral staircases leading down to the guest accommodations and up to the bridge deck. These stairs provide a dynamic connection to the three decks, and views through the sweeping undersides turn this staircase into a striking sculptural centerpiece.
In the guest quarters, off a central foyer, are two queen-size cabins and two double cabins. A hidden door adjacent to the centrally placed Buddha sculpture allows crew access to service these rooms. Crew quarters for nine are forward along with a good-size crew mess and commercial laundry.
A dumb waiter services all decks. Back up on the main deck forward and to starboard is the full-beam master suite incorporating a library/study, a bedroom with off-center king-size bed to port and lounge area to starboard, and his-and-hers bathrooms. The master is flooded with natural light and has a serene, peaceful ambiance. Handmade silk carpets are soft under foot.
-AJR-
This is my newest toy and as Malcolm Forbes once famously said, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” What is the world really besides a giant playground for the rich and famous? 2020 proved to be my most financially successful year ever, thanks in part to several different investments paying off rather handsomely most notably do to profits from my patented ‘Stupefy’ Cologne. This year? I’m expecting to increase those profit margins by introducing a new body spray and body wash. Oh by the way, there’s a very special surprise guest waiting on us and getting wet as we speak.
The next deck up, forward on the bridge deck, is the captain’s domain with a state-of-the-art integrated bridge that has exceptionally good visibility. Aft is the skylounge, which opens to the luxury aft-deck dining and entertainment area where American hip hop artist, rapper, TV and social media personality, Cardi B wades through the jet bubbling warm waters in a green one piece bathing suit and enjoying a bit of the bubbly inside large 7+ person Jacuzzi.
(Cardi B’s “WAP” plays through the yacht speakers as Ashton James Riker finger combs his blonde pompadour as he steps inside the Jacuzzi and sits across from the Brooklyn born native who smiles in his direction.)
-AJR-
Cardi B, welcome to my humble a-BOAT. First off, I am a big fan after reading in an article where you stated that you became a stripper to escape poverty and domestic violence, having been in an abusive relationship at the time after being kicked out of her mother's house, and that stripping was your only way to earn enough money to escape the situation and get an education. Now you are reportedly worth $24 million and the 11th richest female rapper on the planet so kudos to you on that. You are a true life American success story.
-Cardi B-
“EEEOOOWWW! Thanks for the nice words but I’m a regular degular schmegular kinda gal, Okurrr!”
-AJR-
Okurrr! No need to be humble here, I know you are a real one from those crazy wild stories about you “medicating” your customer clientele to rob them and I can respect the hustle. You did what you had to do to come up and survive in this dog eat dog world.
-Cardi B-
Word. That’s real talk.
-AJR-
You are married to offset, member of the rap group Amigo’s. Is home slice going to get all jelly fish on me when he sees you sharing this Jacuzzi with WWX’s bad boy of Wrestling?
(Cardi B giggle laughs and looks Ashton James Riker a good up and down .)
-Cardi B-
You? A bad boy huh.. Well I’m wit a bad man, ya feel me?! You cute like a puppy dog and all dat but I prefer that muscled up pit-bull with the thick chain collar who can holler ta getta dollar. Okurrr!
-AJR-
Alright. Game recognizes game. Now I’ve got to ask, who do you think will win between the sexy man candy before you and the guy who wants to take away MY International Championship to add to his gold collection in Willie Steen?
-Cardi B-
You are going up against that sweet cup of hot chocolate? I dunno yo.. That’s one talented cat, you best bring ya A+ game and have a plan b in yer back pocket just ta be on the safe side, ya feel me?
-AJR-
Sorry, wrong answer. The correct response we were looking for is Ashton James Riker will prove why THEE Marquee Player is the Greatest International Champion of all time! Here dry your wet ass putang off, this interview is officially over!
(Ashton James Riker throws a white towel that smacks Cardi B in the face, who wraps up her fine ass body and leaves the Jacuzzi in a huff. The International Champion closes both eyes and takes in a deep breath, regaining his composure before casting his baby blues down the barrel of the camera.)
-AJR-
Truth is, I do respect you William. Not for any of the accomplishments or accolades achieved but rather for what is behind the chest and between both ears. There is no questioning the work ethic or skillset of a man who clearly has “the cool factor” unlike some of these nerds with a god complex seeking control.
Perseverance is a sign of a champion and Steen has it in spades but to quote an internet meme.. Never blame someone else for the road you’re on, it’s your own asphalt.
One can “hope” to dethrone quite possibly the greatest International Champion of all time but hope is not a game plan or a strategy in the grand scheme of things. I have learned from the best and clearly know how to win as my track record has proven time after time. I’ve been wildly successful in practically every endeavor that I have chosen to pursue and I have the greenbacks to prove it along with stocks, bonds, gold, silver, bitcoin and a sweet 401k package.
Recently yours truly has even had discussions with the legendary Jon Taffer from the hit television show Bar Rescue about opening up a liquor lounge as my next business venture because the world is my oyster but that’s a bridge to cross once it’s reached.
(Brian Chase steps into the Jacuzzi with a glass of champagne and enters the cameras frame next to Ashton James Riker wearing red and yellow Hawaiian flowered board shorts.)
Bryan Chase: People know me today as an astute business man from a privileged background but I came from humble beginnings and I am no stranger with the law. Especially in my younger years. I’ve been in jail, prison the pod and the honor farm. During these times, I worked several different jail jobs.
Mopping floors. Working the lunch line. Cleaning treys. Delivering food to the women’s section. Doing inmates laundry. Filling commencary bags. Pulling weeds inside and outside of the prison yard.
I did my time and paid my dues to society in an environment filled with not so friendly felons who wouldn’t hesitate to play the punk card on anyone deemed too soft to be there. So don’t get it twisted, I’m a respectfully pleasant person to be around but when push comes to shove? I’ll do what is necessary to defend myself and survive.
I’ll cut to the chase. There’s no “beef” to squash with anyone on my end. However, if someone comes looking for problems with my client? Then I am contractually obligated to resolve the issue with swift and effective action. So with that said, may the better man win.
(Ashton James Riker and Bryan Chase clink their glasses together in a toast and sip away at the bubbly as the camera fixates on the cloud covered skies before slowly fading out to black.)