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Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 5, 2021 17:54:57 GMT -5
*A part of the Mississauga Symphony Orchestra plays “Ein Musikalischer Spaß” to a moderately crowded room of patrons in their formal wear largely focused around a large veiled rectangle of some sort that has been displayed near the back center of the room. Welcome to The Art Gallery of Mississauga and welcome to the DominiGala for Charity! The usually sparse white interior has been jazzed up with red drapes and carpets as well as yellow-light emitting lanterns to give the image of a posh and warm luxury showcase, the likes you’d sooner see in movies than your local art gallery. As the music plays opulently the host of tonight’s events makes his way out. His face and head looks of Lord Dominicus, his torso of Mozart, his waist of the NPW North American Cruiserweight Champion, and his legs...also of Lord Dominicus. He stands in front of the covered painting, that amazingly towers over him (it’s big, y’all)* LD: Ladies and gentlemen! I wanted to thank you all for attending this “DominiGala” as it is called. And I wanted to give a special thank you to The Arty Gallery of Mississauga for hosting this event… *His face drifts to look at a well dressed somewhat older woman near the front of the crowd that features a surprisingly large number of NPW and XHF Network wrestlers. She smiles and nods as he continues* LD: …As well as the kind people of the Mississauga Humane Society for their hard work on the “Corgis 4 Homes” project and for being here tonight with some of the little killers up for adoption… *He gestures off to the side where a child’s playpen of corgi puppies is being watched over by some more casually dressed staffers. The crowd applauds the animal shelter’s efforts.* LD: Now I hope that all of you here will enjoy the festivities, the food, the drink, the musical stylings of the orchestra and also Shank William’s Spanish guitar. But I believe now is as good as a time as any to get to the REAL reason why you’re here… *Dominicus gestures to the giant painting, still covered in a sheet, looming over him.* LD: It is time to unveil the painting that all of you may make a silent bid on. Yes folks, this very painting will be able to come home with you tonight! And the proceeds from your kind donation will go to the local charities or something. *The crowd cheers.* LD: And any other donations you may want to make will end up in those charities as well. Anyway, let’s get on with the unveiling, yeah? *The elegant people and also gussied up wrestlers applaud as the DARK LORD of the XHF Network pulls off the sheet and reveals a large painting, the quality like that of the old masters. He looks to the crowd and the music dies down to allow him to speak.* LD: I present to you…..THE FRAGILITY OF EGO! *Quickly he moves closer to the work and gestures to it* LD: See that automatically your eyes are drawn to the lower right corner, where we find Eric Dane and Alex Turner choking each other on a barren rock in the middle of a frozen body of water somewhere between the size of a puddle and a pond. *Dominicus is taken aback by the painting and must catch his breath.* LD: The level of detail- this is so much better than I had imagined it. As you can see, Turner’s pants are so tight that one is more curious if he has gender at all rather than which sex he’d prefer to wrestle… *As he says “sex” Dominicus briefly looks off to the side, presumably where the woman who may or may not be a silent hosting partner in this is* LD: Look at the detail on Dane’s skin. It has every pock mark, wrinkle, and even the broken capillaries on his nose from years of wear, tear, and lack of care. *He chef kisses.* LD: Although this twisted body horror of a corner is the first to grab you, eventually, you adjust and your eyes begin to survey the rest of this work as you can see on the outskirts of the fight-nobody-cares-about are a few corgis…. *Domincius gestures out where indeed we see some adorably painted mini-dogs. One can recognize that one has long flowing hair, one is oversized and has an amazing perm but crazed eyes, another is wearing a knit sweater vest, and one is in a lizard mask.* LD: …See how they frolic and contribute to the vast tapestry of the land- unlike that cold corner of whatever Dane and Turner are fighting about. *He steps to the side and gestures toward the background of the work of art* LD: …As your eyes continue you can see a multitude of happy- *And vaguely familiar* LD: -vicious wild animals- *Corgis* LD: -Playfully enjoying the land. They do so under the watchful eye of the DominiPalace- this dark castle, who’s shadows are painted in vantablack so that your eyes are both confused and yet in awe of its dark gaze. The castle, as you can see, sits near the back of the landscape- not needing to announce its presence or importance; for all acknowledge it without prompting. *He walks forward as he continues making brush stroke gestures with his hands and describing the work* LD: The citizens of this green and fertile land bask and play under the golden- but not overly large- sun without care of the two egomaniacs who think whatever they’re fighting for is worth anything. *Dominicus softly pats the NPW NA Cruiserweight Championship around his waist as he finishes marveling/selling* LD: …Simply marvelous! But alas, I’ve spoken too much. Go, curious and art-loving serfs, enjoy the night, the art, the music, and the atmosphere! *The orchestra then continues as Lord Dominicus wanders off to take care of his own business, leaving you to yours!*
OOC: Hey guys! This is an open thread! We used to do these from time to time in the XHF! It’s a chance for your character to get more exposure by making an appearance in some fashion. There’s lots of options on things to do! You can mingle, comment on the painting, or look at/pet/adopt corgis. Maybe you see a corgi in the painting that looks like you, maybe you use this as a chance to cut a promo on an enemy, as I said, you can do whatever you feel your character would do in this situation. However! 1. You can’t touch the painting (that’s rude) and 2. You can’t use other people’s characters without their permission (aside from like pointing at them if you know they’re there). Back and forth promoing is fine if you and a rival get into it OH! Also, message me how much your character would pay for the painting (as it’s a silent auction) and I'll announce the winner later! |
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Post by Venom 🕷 on Mar 6, 2021 0:58:05 GMT -5
At the bar we find two members of Off the Wagon clearly off the wagon. Randy Angel is standing at the bar with a pyramid of glasses in front of him. Not Solo cups like you might see at a frat party but glass cups like you would see no where because that’s an easy way to break a lot of glass. Next to him is Kris Quake and he has clearly had enough. His right elbow is on the bar top and appears to be the only thing keeping him upright. We move in on the two to ease drop on their conversation and we catch a slurred Quake talking to Randy who is always slurring.
Quake: This is great. I’m so glad you suggested this.
Randy: I know right? Anywhere with an open bar is a place for us.
Quake: It’s like we’re in the movie, you know, the one where they crash weddings.
Randy: You mean Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts? I love her.
Quake: No that’s where she runs away from weddings. This one they crash weddings.
Randy: You mean 27 Dresses with Katherine Heigl? I love her.
Quake: No, that’s where she’s invited to a lot of weddings. I’m talking about the one where they aren’t invited to the weddings.
Randy: You mean Wedding Planner with Jennifer Lopez? I love her.
Quake: No, that’s where she plans weddings. This one is about two guys who crash weddings.
Randy: Oh, Wedding Crashers. That movie is stupid and unrealistic. That family would never allow those two guys in after the mockery they made of their family sneaking into their post wedding trip.
Quake: Well I just mean we crashed like them and now we’re drinking all the booze like them and all we need to do now is sleep with sleazy drunk chicks and we’ve completed the opening of the movie.
Randy: That’s true.
Quake: How did you even hear about this event?
Randy: Well, I took a plane back since J-Rok has forgotten I exist.
Both turn and look dead into the camera for a moment, then return to facing each other at the bar.
Randy: And when I got here I realized I hadn’t seen Nelly’s new place in Canada. So I went there and used the spare key that Nelly doesn’t know I made and went into his apartment. He wasn’t home so I poked around hoping to find some hidden booze and instead I found a calendar with today circled and the name of this event.
Quake: Well that worked out.
Randy: Yeah. I figured since it was circled he was sure to be here, but I haven’t seen him anywhere for some reason.
Quake: That’s weird. It could have been good to have all of Off the Wagon here.
Randy: Well, almost all of us.
Quake: Yeah it sucks they wouldn’t let Johnny in because if the blood in his suit collar.
Randy: Oh well, more for us.
Randy signals the bar keep for another round and the bar keep sighs and holds up one finger to signal that he’ll be there in a minute.
Randy: Did you sign in?
Quake: Yeah, and when I did it asked for a number, but it didn’t want my phone number. I was confused so I just wrote one billiondy.
Randy: Man I wish I thought of that. I just wrote a 1.[/i]
The two continue to babble as we cut back and move on to the next familiar face.
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Post by Dylan on Mar 6, 2021 15:19:16 GMT -5
Dylan Black just kinda stands in the corner hoping to not be noticed.
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Post by Cross Recoba on Mar 7, 2021 7:31:17 GMT -5
EXT. THE DOMINIGALA - NIGHT
OVER BLACK
TITLE: IF YOUR NAME’S NOT ON THE LIST, YOU’RE NOT COMING IN JABRONI and “DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B are shown outside the gala. “DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B is decked out in a suit,boweler and cane. JABRONI, by contrast, looks like he borrowed his father’s suit for “Enterprise Day” at High School. “DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B Remember, Al, make good connections tonight, this is a big deal. Who knows who you might meet tonight...you might even get asked to do the XHF Network Awards next time!
AL JABRONI I know, Johnny, relax...did I bring Noel Edmonds along? No! Did I bring Mr. Blobby along? Nope!
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B When are you sending them back?
AL JABRONI They’re not objects, Johnny! You can’t just use humans like they’re yours to buy, sell, and return!
DOMININGALA SECURITY GOON Names?
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B Al Jabroni and “Disco Boy” Johnny B.
DOMINIGALA SECURITY GOON looks up from his clipboard. DOMINIGALA SECURITY GOON Sir, we can’t have wrestling names. It’s full names only.
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B He’s really called Al Jabroni, it’s an Italian kind of ham.
DOMINIGALA SECURITY GOON (Dryly) My wife is Italian, sir, please don’t try to teach me about her culture, it makes me think that I look like a bad husband...and I meant yours- DOMINIGALA SECURITY GOON looks back at his clipboard. DOMINIGALA SECURITY GOON (CONT’D) Mr...“Disco Boy” Johnny B...
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B That’s my name, I made a career in the porn industry on it!
DOMINIGALA SECURITY GOON I don’t believe your parents christened you that.
DOMINIGALA SECURITY GOON looks him up and down.
DOMINIGALA SECURITY GOON (CONT'D) Disco wasn’t invented when you were born. Can you please just give me the name of your birth, you’re holding up the line for everyone else.
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B mutters something
DOMINIGALA SECURITY GOON Pardon?
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B Johnathan Jonty Humphrey Campell-Boyd...the Third. Viscount of Wimblethorpe.
JABRONI looks flabbergasted at the largesse of the name.
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B (Smiling) What? Rebellion was in and I wasn’t going to become a Trustafarian!
CUT TO INT. DOMINIGALA - DAY
OVER BLACK
TITLE: DON’T RAISE YOUR HAND IN A SILENT AUCTION “DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B (Walking) Al, this is a silent auction, so I need you to promise me this - please don’t bid on the painting.
AL JABRONI (Mouthful of canapes) What painting?
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B The painting we’re all here to raise money for the charity for.
AL JABRONI (Swallowing) I’m not just going to bid on just anything because it’s there.
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B John Holmes’ moustache comb.
AL JABRONI Piece of porn history
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B Ron Jeremy’s sports cup.
AL JABRONI Was considering joining a softball league, needed the roo,
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B raises an eyebrow. “DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B Linda Lovelace’s merkin.
AL JABRONI It’ll come back in style…
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B They didn’t use merkins back then, it was just the style to grow them out.
AL JABRONI Why’d you buy it off me? What do you do with it?
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B I sold it.
AL JABRONI You gave me two bucks for it, how much did you get for it?
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B Enough…
AL JABRONI More than you paid me?
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B And then some…
AL JABRONI So, when do I get my cu-
JABRONI is distracted. AL JABRONI IT’S HIM! JABRONI charges forward but is stopped by a different breed of security. FIRESIDE SECURITY FIRESIDE SECURITY GOON Go no further!
AL JABRONI I just want to talk to Anthony Caffrey, I’ve got a proposal for him.
FIRESIDE SECURITY GOON Can’t do that I’m afraid,sir.
AL JABRONI Why not?
FIRESIDE SECURITY GOON FIRESIDE rules, anything like that needs to be agreed prior to engagement for length of conversation and how many times you’d like to schedule the meetings.
AL JABRONI How do I do that?
FIRESIDE SECURITY GOON You have to agree it in writing with the person in FIRESIDE you’d like to talk to.
AL JABRONI Can I do that now?
FIRESIDE SECURITY GOON You’re not listening, you’d need to agree a set length of engagement for the agreement ahead of time.
AL JABRONI That’s just circular logic. Can I just give you the message to pass on?
FIRESIDE SECURITY GOON You can try.
AL JABRONI I have a proposal for him. I’m a porn auteur, you might have heard of Citizen Kanal-
(BEAT)
AL JABRONI (CONT'D)
...and I hear he’s the biggest cock on the XHF Network!
FIRESIDE SECURITY GOON I can assure you that he isn’t the biggest cock on the Network, to be truthful, if he were a cock, he'd be a rather small cock as it were.
AL JABRONI That’s not what I heard.
FIRESIDE SECURITY GOON That’s all hearsay, sir, we don’t deal in that at FIRESIDE. I can send you the formal rules, but you’ll need to agree a date with which you can receive and read them before I can do that...
“DISCO BOY” JOHNNY B drapes an arm over JABRONI and starts to drag him away.
AL JABRONI (Desperately) TELL HIM I THINK HE’S THE BIGGEST COCK ON THE NETWORK!
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Post by Robbie A on Mar 7, 2021 10:11:28 GMT -5
Live from the DomniGala – It’s a Riley Richards Live Stream!
 Richards: Hey gang! It’s Riley, sorry I’ve not been around too much lately, between training and apartment hunting, I haven’t had much time to speak to you guys! Oh! Yeah the apartment hunting, Mr Arnold has told me he wants me in an apartment closer to his, I was late again for training again last week and Mr Arnold said that was the last time…I did say he should start training later and I’d not be late, but apparently that wasn’t the right answer. Richards shrugs. Richards: Anyway! I’ve been sent here to Mis-…Mis-… Richards sighs and taps a member of staff on the shoulder. Richards: Excuse me, what’s the name of this city again? The member of staff looks at Richards, and then the phone and instantly has a measure of the kid. Staff: You mean Mississauga, sir? Riley ignores the dry, unimpressed tone of the staff member, who is holding a tray of canapes. Richards: That’s it, thank you! So I’m here in Mississauga for the Domni-…DomniGala? Seriously, Canada makes things so hard to say you guys. The member of staff just rolls their eyes at this point and walks away from Riley, who is of course oblivious. Richards: Mr Arnold sent me here to give that Lord guy a cheque for the charity event and represent The Academy. I wonder what he’s a lord of? I’ve never been this close to somebody with a big title like that before. Wait, no...there was that time I was behind Hugh Bonneville at the airport…oh wait, no he just played a posh guy in Downton…that’s close enough though, right? Sorry, I’m rambling, I guess I’m just nervous! Mr Arnold told me there’d be a load of people I’d know here, but so far I’ve not recognised anybody. Richards has another look around, but still no dice. Richards: I guess I’m just a bit bored you guys, Mr Arnold told me not to speak to too many people I didn’t know, he muttered something about ruining an image but I didn’t quite hear him, still, I don’t want to upset him so I’ve been keeping generally to myself. So I figured I’d stream with you guys and do a little ask me anything! He smiles and looks at the screen, reading the first one that popped up. Richards: Okay, so ClaraHeartsR has asked what charities are benefitting from the gala, great question! But I can't remember exactly what it is...I do know it’s something to do with Corgis. The Lord man loves them, there’s some people here from a shelter and you can even adopt a corgi here tonight! Lord guy thinks they’re evil though, which is a bit weird, the Queen loves them, so they can’t be evil, right? Richards shrugs and reads the next question. Richards: NextLevelMark asks if I’m going to adopt one of the corgis! Aw man, I’d love a dog, but Mr Arnold says I can barely look after myself so I’m not allowed one. Even if I was, I’m more of a golden retriever guy, they just look so happy all the time! That’s my kind of energy! Voice: Somebody say Energy? Riley turns around to see the giant presence of Big Richard Energy, ironically, he’s always smiling…a bit like the aforementioned golden retriever. Richards: Heeeeeeey….Big Richard! Riley’s tone is a bit nervous, Energy strides over and drapes a huge arm around him, looking at the phone. Energy: Little Riley! You streaming my man? Need to add some Big Dick Energy to it? Richards doesn’t really know how to answer that, in the absence of a reply, Energy takes the phone from him and walks away from him. Riley goes after Energy but…he’s in the zone. Energy: Ahhh I gotcha covered! Riley’s fans, time to take you on a Big Dick adventure! Let me show you guys around, we got a big ass painting over there, I’d have had it in a thicker frame, but that’s just how I like them. We got Al Jabroni over there, let me tell you, Big Dick’s never seen such a little guy with such a big appetite, that guy packed away so many sausages on hot dog day, sight to behold you guys. Riley can be heard groaning in the background as Energy has been showing the world both the painting and the presence of Al Jabroni. Energy: We got some puppies over there, I love dogs, when I was just a little Dick, my parents had a great Dane, massive thing, well my parents used to have Big Dick riding that thing like a horse! Man I used to love riding that dog. Richards: Oh god… Riley takes some affirmative active and catches back up to Big Richard. Richards: Hey, Big Richard, that was a great job, mate, tell you what though I think I should wrap this up here and we can go hang out with Jabroni and Johnny B, could you grab me a drink as well? Energy doesn’t falter, such is his way, he hands the phone back. Energy: Sure thing little man, I’ll catch up with you! Richards watches him get out of earshot and sighs. Richards: I’m…I’m so sorry you guys. I’ll take one more question and then I better go before, well, before I’m cancelled. So…WeAllChant4Chant asks if Richard’s name is really Richard Energy, or if there’s a reason he goes by that name- Before Riley can even form an answer, across the room, Al Jabroni has gone from calm to causing a commotion, a commotion so loud I’s picked up as clear as crystal on Riley’s stream… Jabroni: HE’S THE BIGGEST COCK ON THE NETWORK!Riley looks aghast in the direction of Jabroni, he looks back at the camera rather defeated. Richards: I’m…I’m just gonna go you guys. This is Riley signing out…quite possibly for the last time, live from Mis-…Mis-… Canada….Oh man Mr Arnold’s gonna be so mad if he hears about this. CUT.
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bloodiedfox
Special GUNS Acess
Fox. King. Cryptid. Stoner. Ripper. Cult. Skeleton.
Posts: 938
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Post by bloodiedfox on Mar 7, 2021 10:57:22 GMT -5
We see Bloodied Fox, dressed to the nines, hand on chin in potentially copyright infringing manner as he studies the Fragility of Ego.
Fascinating; such contrasts! The lush landscape calls to mind Constable or Turner, while the DominiPalace seems straight from the brush of Frazetta, and the horrifying forms of Turner and Dane invoke repulsion akin to the works of Beksiński, Giger, or Ito.
As he continues his name dropping analysis, He is joined by his husband, Brendan Harding.
So I asked around, and Church of Oblivion have definitely been released by NPW. Apparently no-one knows where they are. Even that ruined church they were hanging out in seems to have gone, like is just vanished into thin air.
Huh, that's str...
Having turned to look at his husband as he started to reply, Fox stops as his eyes lock at mid-torso level. What has caught his eye is the fact Brendan has a corgi tucked under one arm, the small canine giving the AWF stare a doggy grin, its little legs trotting on thin air. Fox looks from the dog to his husband, then back to the dog, then to his husband again.
Brendan, did you adopt a dog while drunk?
Brendan gasps in exaggerated horror and puts both hands over the corgi's ears, somehow managing not to drop him in the process.
Don't tell him he's adopted! He'll develop a complex!
Brendan looks down at the corgi, having shifted his hands away, thankfully ensuring more steady support for its adorable little frame.
Pop-pop didn't mean that, Sir Borkington. Daddy will set him straight.
Fox facepalms.
I knew I shouldn't have brought you to an wrestling linked social event that has both a free bar and Randy Angel. This is almost as bad as last time you got hammered at one of these.
Oh come on, that wasn't that bad!
Hon, you drunkenly accosted Tony Khan and demanded he open the 'Forbidden Door' between AEW and JROK because you wanted to be the third member of Chaos Project.
You say that like it's a bad thing!
Further reminiscing is cut short by Al Jabroni's loud proclamation about penis size.
Slander! I have the biggest cock on the Network, and I'll prove it!
Before Fox can do anything to stop his husband, he has to catch the corgi tossed to him as Brendan rushes off to presumably show Al Jabroni his dick. Fox sighs as Sir Borkington licks his face.
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MYŌJIN
.::XHF Superstar::.
FKA Draven | Former X*Crown Champion | Former XHF JHW Champion
Posts: 836
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Post by MYŌJIN on Mar 7, 2021 11:40:21 GMT -5
The XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion, MYŌJIN was not paying much attention to the Fragility of Ego painting admittedly. Well, he was, until he noticed the cutest corgi in existence. Wearing androgynous formal wear and of course, his championship belt around his waist, he held the corgi with borderline tears in his eyes.
“Just the absolute cutest little pup I've ever seen! Just so… adorable! Is this what being a parent feels like? I think I finally get it… I know we've only met today, but you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, do you know that?”
The corgi simply blinked. Dogs can't talk, or respond to questions. It would be probably appropriate to mention that the Shining Star was a lightweight and had a few glasses of some rather strong wine earlier. As the doggo simply stared, MYOJIN stared back.
“You get me so well. Was this destiny for us to meet like this?”
Now even the corgi seemed confused. A pale man in an all-black suit with dark hair walked past, looked over toward MYOJIN and the dog with his sharp red eyes distastefully. “...Humanity was a mistake.” He muttered before walking off.
MYOJIN then remembered that he was in a public place and also a recognized champion. Clearing his throat as he looked around, and yes- some people were staring at him judgmentally, he let the corgi run off and pretended like that didn't just happen. “I'll come back for you later!” He whispered, giving the corgi a wave before standing back up.
Looking over back toward the painting, he recognized a familiar face. Matter of fact, someone he had just signed a title match contract with- Bloodied Fox!
“Foxy! I didn't know you were such a man of taste. It's wonderful to see you!”
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bloodiedfox
Special GUNS Acess
Fox. King. Cryptid. Stoner. Ripper. Cult. Skeleton.
Posts: 938
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Post by bloodiedfox on Mar 7, 2021 11:46:32 GMT -5
Fox blinks, having not expected to be spoken to by anyone else, let alone his upcoming opponent.
Oh hi MYOJIN.
He internally wonders how he managed to say that in all caps without specifically trying.
I'm a sucker for these sort of social mixers. We don't tend to have them in the AWF. Terry Bradshaw causes too many lawsuits.
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MYŌJIN
.::XHF Superstar::.
FKA Draven | Former X*Crown Champion | Former XHF JHW Champion
Posts: 836
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Post by MYŌJIN on Mar 7, 2021 12:06:02 GMT -5
“Ah, yes, Bradshaw is a.. interesting inidividual. I have to admit, it's my first time being at an event like this.” Despite knowing they were both going to do their best to beat each other at Road to Victory, the Shining Star didn't see anything wrong with leaving things in the ring and being friendly before then.
MYOJIN gestured around, “What do you think of the painting?”
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chase
.::XHF Newcomer::.
Posts: 19
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Post by chase on Mar 7, 2021 14:58:59 GMT -5
{Members of the XHF network and the Northern Pro Wrestling roster are shown hobnobbing and mingling together while wearing the finest threads their money can buy in the name of everyone’s favorite tax write-off, charity! What better way is there to feel morally superior while making a profit? Wait, don’t answer that.The camera surveys the landscape and the painstaking attention to detail of the layout for tonight’s extravaganza before honing in on a public conversation transpiring between a huddled up group of penguin tuxedos having a discussion over the properly name “THE FRAGILITY OF EGO” painting and pontificating what it represents in their eyes.}
-???-
Clearly the two fighting on the barren rock on a frozen body of water represents politicians from different, opposing ideologies combating over climate change.
{Garbed in a dark and light grey checkered pattern business suit with a white button up undershirt and a solid silver tie is Bryan Chase. Adjusting the large wire frame reading glasses, you can almost hear the eye roll given as he sounds off on the Dominigala for charity event.)  Bryan Chase: People will see what they WANT to see and that’s the beauty of it. Take a look around at the work put in to make this event happen. The level of detail is uncanny. There’s the sophisticated classical musical stylings of The Mississauga Symphony Orchestra and I am looking forward to hearing Shank Williams plucking the strings on his spanish guitar. I can’t wait to buy one of those cute little lassie/weiner dog hybrid puppy corgi dogs either. Now this is how Charity should be done.
(The camera pans over to the man with a bleach blonde pompadour in a rainbow splashed tuxedo now identified as the current reigning, defending, undisputable WWX International Champion due to the enormously large golden title fashion accessory strapped around the waist and worn as a “belt”.
-AJR- I fancy myself as a bit of a connoisseur myself when it pertains to works of art, most notably when it has a connection to something I love, that being dogs and Wrestling. Now this, THIS is a modern day masterpiece! The colors are spectacular, just look at how the vantablack shadows of the Castle sucks you in like an empty void of the abyss, staring back like the Mona Lisa without eyes. Vantablack is one of the darkest material substances to ever exist, absorbing up to 99.965% of visible light. That’s right up there with the percentage survival rate of Covid-19, so let that sink in… no pun intended.
Bryan Chase: How and why is that a pun?
-AJR- Because shut up, that’s why. I get enough lip from all those WWX turd droppers, I don’t need crap from you too. You know, this painting would look exquisite in my art gallery on my yacht. Would be a great gift for my upcoming birthday too. Hint, hint.
Bryan Chase: Well aren’t you the master of subtlety..
(Bryan Chase approaches the black cloth covered table near the painting, filling out a bidding card for the silent auction then dropping it into the ballot style box before making his way over to the playpen occupied with sweet, adorable corgi puppies. Bryan instantly falling in love with a fawn colored female play fighting with the biggest dog in the yard.)
Bryan Chase: She’s pure purrrfection!
-AJR-
Mutts don’t purr, dummy!
(Bryan Chase, the consummate penny pincher of his own money, attempts to haggle what he perceives to be a fair price as the camera pans over to their next interview subjects.)
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Timeless
.::XHF Competitor::.
Posts: 178 
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Post by Timeless on Mar 7, 2021 20:17:08 GMT -5
ooc : this has been seen and approved for use by mongo 
Roxylishus : LD! Great to see you, this is some shin dig.
[She looks at the painting and around at the gathering and shakes her head.]
So, what’s the go? Full circle jerk ‘Mosler’ style? Get the whole network in here to tell you how great you are and should be champion?
[LD goes to answer but is cut off.]
You know. If you want to go FULL ‘Mosler’ maybe I could stab YOU and then imagine how heroic you would be to fight thru that adversity if you were victorious? If not, a ready made excuse.
[LD once again goes to reply but is again cut off by Roxy as she moves in real close and in an instant there is a switch blade pressed up against his crotch and she is blocking it with her body as she starts whispering in his ear.]
You got some nerve to exclude the team captain who led our team to victory and made this title shot for you even possible. Don’t push it squirt, or I’ll give you a sex change (she presses the shank even harder into his crotch) and when you go to Fireside to ‘preach the NPW way’ you will really fit in.
[Roxylishus swiftly removes the switch blade and it disappears in a flash, LD looks down at his crotch half expecting to see blood drawn and when he looks back up she is half way across the room. She notices Primal off to the side and stops, and kisses her fingertips then blows the kiss to the furball and power walks out of the room.] |
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Post by Dave D-Flipz on Mar 9, 2021 0:00:00 GMT -5
*There are people hustling and bustling all around. Apparently there's some kind of ... art auction party going on in the other side of the room. Primal isn't here for that, he is opening his own exhibit at the place and is a premier artist in Canada... apparently. His unique art style and medium are all the rave! Primal stands in front of a Vitruvian Man, wearing a tuxedo ... no wait that's his body hair gelled up to look like a tuxedo and a tie painted onto the hair on his chest. He has a monocle on over his right eye held to the mask with duct tape. A few people are admiring his paint ... no wait again ... the tag says Vile-truvian Man-beast ... and is a pale imitation of Leonardo's work ... made in the medium of leg hair. It's shockingly well done.*  : "Why yes, this is my masterwork, it took me three pounds of hair and four nights to put together. Oh it wasn't hard but the dog kept tearing it apart until it was perfect."*Buttons has on a corgi tuxedo and monocle. He is looking into the air with a look of haughtiness and superiority.* Buttons: ... Bork. : "Yes you are the genius Buttons, my best critic."TELL HIM I THINK HE’S THE BIGGEST COCK ON THE NETWORK! *Buttons takes this comment with offense and borks off to go yip at Al Jabroni and try to bite Caffrey's ankles.* : "BUTTONS! Ugh there is no keeping him on track when he's insulted. ... He's going to commit some crimes that will end up in the police blotter tomorrow."*Security runs by* Security: THAT DOG IS LIKE TWENTY POUNDS HOW IS HE SO POWERFUL? Security 2: It's the cock. Did you see that thing? : "Well luckily I have my Buttons in Repose sculpture here to keep me company while I swindle these art folks out of money for a smorgasbord. Best use of pub..."*He is interrupted by a man sprinting past him nearly knocking over his Moaning Lisa hair art as he storms by to go and ... apparently expose himself to Caffrey ... and Buttons and Al Jabroni.* : "I love these fancy galas. Humanity shows its true colors. Look at them losing all facades of cililized living. I love it! BAHAHAHA!"*He looks over at Lord Dominicus sweating into his Primal brand artwork underwear as Roxy looks over at him and blows a kiss.* : "Oh laugh it up wench. Your boy toy may think he's so smart but who is here making a mint on the crowd's being around for the dognapper? Me! Don't see Timeless getting rich off his own body hair do ya!"*He does that anime gesture where he pulls down his eyelid and stucks out his tongue at her. He then turns to security* : "Hey ... those two works over there. The Mongo Size Bro-ssiere and the Jeffrey Viper Banana Hammock. Package them up."*The guard pulls down a bra that looks like it could hold mountains and is clearly meant for extra support for the man with super-saggy man-mountain moobs. He then grabs the smallest male speedo which looks like it's for a Ken Doll ... both made of arm hair and chest hair ...* : "Yes ... give the lady the bra and sign it as a gift from Timeless, write something sappy on it. Then package the baby speedo and send it to Timeless and sign it from Roxy, something like 'to commemorate this lovely artsy evening, you need this.' Yeah that'll do. Hell grab the fancy dress shirt I made too."*The guard does as asked then brings the shirt over to Primal. Primal uses his special jungle paint to write in indelible ink on the shirt, "Caffrey's biggest fan"* : "Send this to Timeless as well. Send it courtesy of me but make it look like it was paid for by ... I dunno ... Lord Dominicus."*Primal laughs as he walks away to horn in on Lord Dominicus by placing the Vile-truvian Man-beast on display right next to LD just behind his vision so he doesn't notice why the crowd is getting repulsed.* |
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The Dunne Deal
ACA Staff
The one you want to win, but won't admit it.
Posts: 1,159
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Post by The Dunne Deal on Mar 9, 2021 3:03:50 GMT -5
Joe Nobody sits in the back of the room, with his wife and young daughter. His fingers drum on a small table slightly to the left of him.
Nobody: "Look at these fools fawning over puppies and a painting. What's the estimate value of the painting, has it been appraised by reputable Art Critic who's name doesn't rhyme with Wichita. And, what about the Corgis sure there cute, but what's the family history, are the AKC registered, to the have all their shots. These are important things you know. I don't want to bring my child home a puppy only to have it die of Parvo."
Nobody's wife bows her head down, this chances Nobody's attention.
Nobody: "Nicole what did you do?"
Nicole: "Nothing?"
Nobody: "Nicole Belle Nachurs, woman you're hiding something from me, now spit it out."
Nicole holds up a Corgi.
Nobody: "You did not?"
Nicole: "It's for our daughter."
Nobody: "I thought we agreed to get something small like a hamster or a fish."
Nicole looks at the puppy, and holds it up to Nobody's face.
Nicole: "Meet Fish."
Nobody face palms.
Nobody: "You did not just name out child's first pet, Fish."
Nicole: "Awwwww. Come on, he's so cute. And look at her."
Nicole point to their daughter playing on the floor with puppy.
Nicole: "Are you really gonna tell that little girl, no?"
Nobody: "This feels like blackmail, and you so owe me."
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bloodiedfox
Special GUNS Acess
Fox. King. Cryptid. Stoner. Ripper. Cult. Skeleton.
Posts: 938
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Post by bloodiedfox on Mar 10, 2021 6:09:30 GMT -5
MYOJIN gestured around, “What do you think of the painting?” |
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Post by anthonycaffrey on Mar 10, 2021 8:54:48 GMT -5
The XHF Tag Team Champion is a little late to the party this evening, realizing that there’s been a man telling people he works for him, and having received a rather… interesting gift. He is moving a little slowly, still not 100% recovered from the broken ribs he sustained at the hands of FIRESIDE’s Tag Team Champions. It’s his first public appearance in over a month, and he quietly dips into the restroom to dispose of the ugly shirt consisting of God knows what substances in the paint. He reemerges to spot the man sporting his logo without his permission. He’s doing a bad European accent, possibly British.
ANTHONY CAFFREY FIRESIDE security… wow. So how’s it like… working for that asshole Caffrey?
Caffrey is leaning over to support himself, holding his ribcage. He’ll be healed by the time his match against NPW’s The Syndicate at FIRESIDE’s Fuel for the Fire starts on March 25th, but the injury isn’t helping him communicate.
FIRESIDE SECURITY Sir, I can assure you that Mr. Caffrey is not an asshole.
Caffrey does his best to put on a grin and play up an accent that would make Dick Van Dyke’s Mary Poppins character sound good.
CAFFREY Oh come off it guv! The biggest fan of Caffrey... is the man himself! He’s got no self-awareness, he bitches… he bashes our great X-Crown champion… he cares about himself so much and others so little… I’m one of the various people... that’d betcha he’d make himself world champ if he could!
Caffrey laughs towards the camera, then grabs himself in pain at exerting himself. The guard isn’t cracking. The accent keeps shifting from English to Irish and back again.
FIRESIDE SECURITY Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to move along.
CAFFREY Why? Is that obnoxiously pretentious jackass… is he here? Am I interruptin’ one… one of his repetitive, God-awful carnie ads? Is he goin’ to make... some big speech about how he’s rescued undercarders wastin’ away in other companies and made ‘em stars… and changed lives? About how people actually enjoy ‘emselves in FIRESIDE? Maybe rattle on for the umpteenth time…. about that Open Door Policy… that gives any tag team who wins a shot at their gold?
FIRESIDE SECURITY Sir, I’m told he will be here shortly.
Caffrey smiles. He reaches into the pocket of his suit, pulling out his wallet. He barely keeps the accent up as he hands the man a card.
CAFFREY Alright mate… just do me a favor… and read this.
Wanting Caffrey out of his face, the guard swipes the ID card out of his hands and reads it. The impostor’s eyes go wide. Caffrey takes back the card.
CAFFREY Why don’t you go get some fresh air… and not come back?
He rips the FIRESIDE patch off of the impostor, who takes off running into the Mississauga night.
Caffrey looks around the room. He is clearly here to do business, to scout talent and maybe get an eye on the challengers to his XHF Tag Team Championships. He finds MYOJIN and exchanges a few words with his bright champion before continuing to move forward. He grabs a glass of wine from the server and spots the man of the hour himself, Lord Dominicus. Celebrating the work of one of his guys, Caffrey raises a glass and projects his voice.
CAFFREY Ladies and gentlemen... don’t you just love any art that captures... just how much of a raging dickhead Timeless is? A toast to the artist!
Having had ears in the room let him know what was going on, and spotted Roxylishyus, he includes her in his toast.
CAFFREY The ladies… even the ones that somehow hate women despite being women… love him, the men want to be him... and heaven knows corgis are now more popular than ever! A toast to Lord Dominicus!
The group toasts Lord Domincus. Caffrey downs his drink, and knowing full well how silent auction works, he still decides to shout out his bid, showcasing some deep pockets for FIRESIDE talent.
CAFFREY Because I believe in properly evaluating art of all shapes and sizes --- I’ll open the bidding at $1,500!
Caffrey smiles at the small commotion the speech has caused. He walks over to the area to place his bidding, nodding at Dominicus, and having gotten his advertisements across. |
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