Post by freakke on Mar 13, 2021 18:33:15 GMT -5
Some light classical music plays as we cut into two Freakkes sitting next to each other in large ornate (the same exact perhaps) arm chairs. There is a fireplace in the background between them and each has a small stand with snacks and drinks. The left has a glass of whiskey it seems while the right is a clearly piping hot cup of cocoa. The video editing magic presenting this promo is of a fair deal higher quality than what the Carnival King is historically known for but hey, keeping up with the times.
The right Freakke, adorned in green has a broad smile painted onto his face.
The left Freakke, decked out in a nice purple outfit, seems to lavender swirls at the edge of his face.
Each sits looks to the camera before blinking, almost perfectly in unison and turning to each other to bow their heads. The camera focuses on the usual green Freakke as he turns his attention back that way.
“My dear beloved Cretins. How are you? Good? I hope so. We’re off to a good start. New Championship Wrestling is back off to a running start. The Carnival King has gotten back in the ring. The ghost of Christmas Yet To Come turned out to be a Terminator and we may have had to go back in time to undo the Magically Freakking Delicious Saves Christmas Special but inadvertently Back to the Future’d ourselves so hard we’re not sure what timeline we’re actually in but thats ok. Bob Ross was right. Just happy little accidents.”
The purple Freakke blinks as that introduction went off the rails and shook his head. What? The first Freakke continued however.
“In a week’s time, we’ve got our second match against Nick Knight and I’d love to really dig into Nick and how we’re gonna have an amazing match and how over the top we’re gonna take it but I know you’ve all heard this from me before. It's been said. It's been done. I don’t want to bore you. So today, we’re going to take a break from the usual hype and do something super different.”
He held up a large ancient looking faerie tale book.
“This is my Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Gran-wait no hold on I missed a few, Great, Great, Great, Grandpappy Freakke’s big book of Faerie Tales totally not ripped off from Grimm’s Fairy Tales.”
Purple Freakke seems to be rethinking having anything to do with this promo. Who signed him up for this? Why did his manager allow this? Again, green Freakke continued.
“Which means me and my associate here are going to read you some wonderful stories from hundreds of years ago. That’ll be fun right? A nice little palette cleanser before Nick and I get into it and start the back and forth tussle and-what do you mean I’m rambling? No. No, stop yelling at me you aren’t mic’ed and they can’t hear you. What do you mean you're a fictitious individual and I’m not talking to you at all because you aren’t real? The script is dumb. No I’m not sticking to the script.”
Oh yeah. No. No. Purple Freakke looked very concerned now. Hasn’t said a word but oh good lord get him the hell out of this contract. Green Freakke regain his composure.
“Anyhow, our first story is the tale of The Big Mean Evil Clown that ate the Brave Knight and let the land turn to ruin and darkness and table and ladders and chairs oh my...it’s a German Story.”
Purple Freakke wordlessly mouthed ‘What’.
“Once Upon a Time, in a far away land called *cough* Edit in the Arena because I forgot where we’re going *cough cough*. There lived a brave noble Knight named Nick. This Nick Knight, Nick as we’ll call him from here on, lived in a land terrorized by a horrible terrifying clown. A real Freakke if I’m gonna be honest...I mean the story says that but look at this. The villain’s all hot and shit.”
He turns the opened book around. A cut out of his own face over top of a physical Adonis and a short pudgy knight with Nick Knight’s face over top of it. Good video editing, lazy prop making.
“Anyhow, Nick goes off with his magical steel chair and seeks out the evil Clown in his Big Top Castle of Pain. Yada yada yada, he has a few lessens in morality, they have their epic duel, and the Clown eats him. Like I said...these are pretty German stories...oh boy thats...thats kind of graphic. Uhh, lets skip to the next one.”
Green Freakke shows Purple Freakke the book and there’s an immediate agreement. His face clearly showing ‘No we can’t show that’.
“OK. Next story in the book. Oh yeah I remember this one from when I was a boy. The Happy Clown in the Knight’s Wood. OK. So, this wee lad clown, known as little Green Riding Freakke. So, Lil Green as we’ll shorten it to, is going off through the woods with fresh baked Ass Whuppins to sell at the kingdom of NCW. Along the way, a Big Bad Knight shows up and is trying to push poor Lil Green around, demanding his basket of Whuppins.”
Purple Freakke blinks. Green Freakke just smiles.
“I’m pretty sure we all knows what happens next. We’ve all seen Looney Tunes. Yep, yup. Lil Green gave the Big Bad Knight the biggest Ass Whuppin in his basket. It gets a little messy. I like the last picture though. It’s like the Knight got planted like a Dumbass Tree.”
Both Freakke’s agree it’s amusing.
“OK OK. Uhh, lets see, another story. C’mon. Something good here. The Little Collision that Could? No. John Wick 4? Not released yet. The Witch of the Concession Stand? I hate to say it but the prices are a bit crazy. Oh. I know which one we should really tell. The best one.”
He turned the book around. Someone spent a lot of money on fanart and was showing off now. A picture of the Carnival King in the Ring in the middle of a deep and fae forest.
“The Reign of the Carnival King. Chapter 1. Japan, a month ago…”
---
An interruption in the video feed. Someone has been filming in secret. A kitchen from out in the hall. A pallid man in pajama pants and a really baggy t-shirt. It looks to be the Freakke out of makeup.
“Yeah. No no. I’m still taking it easy. No no. I did King Kaiju but thats really just a movie. Mmhmm. Mhmm. Well, yes, yes I did sign back on with New Championship. I did in fact wrestle. Yeah doc. I feel fine. Everything’s good. I had a bruise for a few days I was worried about b-uh huh. No no I remember. Your opinion matters a lot to me doc. I do appreciate it. I understand. You’ll be the second person to know. Alice would kill me if I didn’t. Yeah. She knows. She doesn’t like it but she understands. No. No I’m not trying to pull a Wrestler. Yes I know how that movie ends. If I start seeing symptoms I can pull out of the contract. Yes. We were adamant on that...yes I have. Thanks for the morbid reminder doc. Wait…”
He started to turn but the camera dropped its view to the floor and then shut off.
---
Cut back to the story reading.
“And the Carnival King defeated the Odorous Ugly Knight. Another ruffian laid waste by the one True Heir to the Cretinous Throne. With a round of thunderous applause he rose to the top of the ladder to claim said seat in the world. From there, he would reign in prosperity among his Cretins long and greatly. But as Mako once said, That is another story.”
Purple Freakke just blinked at this.
“The End. At least until we cash grab the sequel.”
There was a long awkward pause.
“What?”
The right Freakke, adorned in green has a broad smile painted onto his face.
The left Freakke, decked out in a nice purple outfit, seems to lavender swirls at the edge of his face.
Each sits looks to the camera before blinking, almost perfectly in unison and turning to each other to bow their heads. The camera focuses on the usual green Freakke as he turns his attention back that way.
“My dear beloved Cretins. How are you? Good? I hope so. We’re off to a good start. New Championship Wrestling is back off to a running start. The Carnival King has gotten back in the ring. The ghost of Christmas Yet To Come turned out to be a Terminator and we may have had to go back in time to undo the Magically Freakking Delicious Saves Christmas Special but inadvertently Back to the Future’d ourselves so hard we’re not sure what timeline we’re actually in but thats ok. Bob Ross was right. Just happy little accidents.”
The purple Freakke blinks as that introduction went off the rails and shook his head. What? The first Freakke continued however.
“In a week’s time, we’ve got our second match against Nick Knight and I’d love to really dig into Nick and how we’re gonna have an amazing match and how over the top we’re gonna take it but I know you’ve all heard this from me before. It's been said. It's been done. I don’t want to bore you. So today, we’re going to take a break from the usual hype and do something super different.”
He held up a large ancient looking faerie tale book.
“This is my Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Gran-wait no hold on I missed a few, Great, Great, Great, Grandpappy Freakke’s big book of Faerie Tales totally not ripped off from Grimm’s Fairy Tales.”
Purple Freakke seems to be rethinking having anything to do with this promo. Who signed him up for this? Why did his manager allow this? Again, green Freakke continued.
“Which means me and my associate here are going to read you some wonderful stories from hundreds of years ago. That’ll be fun right? A nice little palette cleanser before Nick and I get into it and start the back and forth tussle and-what do you mean I’m rambling? No. No, stop yelling at me you aren’t mic’ed and they can’t hear you. What do you mean you're a fictitious individual and I’m not talking to you at all because you aren’t real? The script is dumb. No I’m not sticking to the script.”
Oh yeah. No. No. Purple Freakke looked very concerned now. Hasn’t said a word but oh good lord get him the hell out of this contract. Green Freakke regain his composure.
“Anyhow, our first story is the tale of The Big Mean Evil Clown that ate the Brave Knight and let the land turn to ruin and darkness and table and ladders and chairs oh my...it’s a German Story.”
Purple Freakke wordlessly mouthed ‘What’.
“Once Upon a Time, in a far away land called *cough* Edit in the Arena because I forgot where we’re going *cough cough*. There lived a brave noble Knight named Nick. This Nick Knight, Nick as we’ll call him from here on, lived in a land terrorized by a horrible terrifying clown. A real Freakke if I’m gonna be honest...I mean the story says that but look at this. The villain’s all hot and shit.”
He turns the opened book around. A cut out of his own face over top of a physical Adonis and a short pudgy knight with Nick Knight’s face over top of it. Good video editing, lazy prop making.
“Anyhow, Nick goes off with his magical steel chair and seeks out the evil Clown in his Big Top Castle of Pain. Yada yada yada, he has a few lessens in morality, they have their epic duel, and the Clown eats him. Like I said...these are pretty German stories...oh boy thats...thats kind of graphic. Uhh, lets skip to the next one.”
Green Freakke shows Purple Freakke the book and there’s an immediate agreement. His face clearly showing ‘No we can’t show that’.
“OK. Next story in the book. Oh yeah I remember this one from when I was a boy. The Happy Clown in the Knight’s Wood. OK. So, this wee lad clown, known as little Green Riding Freakke. So, Lil Green as we’ll shorten it to, is going off through the woods with fresh baked Ass Whuppins to sell at the kingdom of NCW. Along the way, a Big Bad Knight shows up and is trying to push poor Lil Green around, demanding his basket of Whuppins.”
Purple Freakke blinks. Green Freakke just smiles.
“I’m pretty sure we all knows what happens next. We’ve all seen Looney Tunes. Yep, yup. Lil Green gave the Big Bad Knight the biggest Ass Whuppin in his basket. It gets a little messy. I like the last picture though. It’s like the Knight got planted like a Dumbass Tree.”
Both Freakke’s agree it’s amusing.
“OK OK. Uhh, lets see, another story. C’mon. Something good here. The Little Collision that Could? No. John Wick 4? Not released yet. The Witch of the Concession Stand? I hate to say it but the prices are a bit crazy. Oh. I know which one we should really tell. The best one.”
He turned the book around. Someone spent a lot of money on fanart and was showing off now. A picture of the Carnival King in the Ring in the middle of a deep and fae forest.
“The Reign of the Carnival King. Chapter 1. Japan, a month ago…”
---
An interruption in the video feed. Someone has been filming in secret. A kitchen from out in the hall. A pallid man in pajama pants and a really baggy t-shirt. It looks to be the Freakke out of makeup.
“Yeah. No no. I’m still taking it easy. No no. I did King Kaiju but thats really just a movie. Mmhmm. Mhmm. Well, yes, yes I did sign back on with New Championship. I did in fact wrestle. Yeah doc. I feel fine. Everything’s good. I had a bruise for a few days I was worried about b-uh huh. No no I remember. Your opinion matters a lot to me doc. I do appreciate it. I understand. You’ll be the second person to know. Alice would kill me if I didn’t. Yeah. She knows. She doesn’t like it but she understands. No. No I’m not trying to pull a Wrestler. Yes I know how that movie ends. If I start seeing symptoms I can pull out of the contract. Yes. We were adamant on that...yes I have. Thanks for the morbid reminder doc. Wait…”
He started to turn but the camera dropped its view to the floor and then shut off.
---
Cut back to the story reading.
“And the Carnival King defeated the Odorous Ugly Knight. Another ruffian laid waste by the one True Heir to the Cretinous Throne. With a round of thunderous applause he rose to the top of the ladder to claim said seat in the world. From there, he would reign in prosperity among his Cretins long and greatly. But as Mako once said, That is another story.”
Purple Freakke just blinked at this.
“The End. At least until we cash grab the sequel.”
There was a long awkward pause.
“What?”