Post by John Cavanagh on Mar 14, 2021 21:04:34 GMT -5
The light poured through the filthy window of the Blarney Stone. The feint lighting providing all the illumination needed for the camera to catch a glimpse of Trigger Cavanagh's shit eating grin and Andy Donahue's larger than life--frame?
I know, I know...you shithead Canadians just couldn't wait for the return of Trigger Cavanagh right? And wouldn't you know it--I brought someone with me, someone who is just the type of person you all need to be worried about!
That's right! Your parents warned you about people like me. It's time for you to hide your sons because I'm going to put them in the hospital and hide your daughters because I'm making them soaking wet with each flex.
Whoa! Andy Boy, calm down just one god damned minute. Last I checked good old Gus Arnold is doing his best to run a family business here in Northern Pro it ain't as much of a bloodbath as other places we've worked in.
Either way--shits all the same Trig. We follow Johnnie where we gotta go to get the paychecks. We go in, we fuck some shit up, we turn shit upside down...we dominate, that's that!
Trigger smiled--he truly couldn't have said it better himself.
Now that we've got Andy Boy's two cents out of the way I guess it's time for someone with a little bit more of the "gift of gab" to continue. Andy right here, this bastard is 280 pounds of poor muscle, testosterone and adrenaline. This guy could leg press the little piece of shit cars most of the NPW talent drives to work in. I see you pathetic bastards, Wrecking Crew, pulling up in your Corollas and your Priuses. That's light weight for this animal, kid could probably pick up a SmartCar and toss it the length of a god damned football field. You people think you oughta be worried? I would fucking think so! Look at this way, you poor schmucks around here could barely handle me on my own and now that I've got the "muscle's muscle", as my brother so perfectly worded it, on my side you really think you morons can handle me now? I think not!
Trigger laughed, he blew a bubble in his gum and popped it with his teeth.
Some people find me a little obnoxious, I like to admit that I'm an asshole and I love it. Why else am I just ignoring just how much better of an athlete I am then anyone in this tag team division let alone these jerk offs we are debuting against on the sixteenth. I'm pretty sure I could just stand on the ring apron and let Andy take care of this match all by his lonesome--trust me I've seen him accomplish the feat before, it's pretty impressive to witness.
Andy shook his head up and down while puffing out his chest and flexing his bicep for the camera.
So what does the arrival of The Celtic Club mean for teams like The Wrecking Crew? You guys didn't have to send in questions for me to know exactly what thought is on everyone's mind. Andy--what does it mean for a team like The Wrecking Crew?
It means their days of hoping and praying to becoming the Imperial Tag Team Champions are over. There ain't a prayer in hell a team like The Wrecking Crew or any other so called "team" in Northern Pro Wrestling is going to be able to top this squad right here.
See, this is why Johnnie and I love this guy--he just gets right to the point. I know a lot of people say I run my mouth a little too much but I always back it up. During the Cruiserweight Cup I showed every piece of shit in the NPW exactly what Trigger Cavanagh is capable of one on one in the ring. Johnnie has shown you people time and time again that no one is going to beat him. As for Andy here, you people only have a few days to wait before you get the privilege of laying your eyes upon the destruction that Andy Donahue will create when he steps in between the ropes of a Northern Pro ring for the first time.
That's fucking right, you people ain't seen a wrestler like me before. I'll be picking people up left and right and chucking them like they're darts--that ain't nothing. After that I'll give you some kinda standing moonsault or shooting star press--some shit you expect to see from a tiny little dude like Trigger or smaller not from a brick shithouse like Andy fucking Donahue.
Small? I'm small now.
Andy shrugged his shoulders.
I mean, I guess everyone is fucking small next to you--this is what happens when you spend six hours a day in the gym. What scares me for our opponents is that a guy like me, I'm a ruthless prick--I learned from my brother, he's an evil prick himself for those of you who haven't realized yet--that's not good. A guy like Andy, he knows he's strong but he still has no true idea just how strong he really is a lot of times that leads to some bad shit happening to the guys that step in the ring with him--that's not good.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about Trig--that shit all sound pretty damn good to me.
Yeah, Andy, don't get me wrong all that shit sounds lovely for us but for The Wrecking Crew?
Oh yeah, that shit sounds horrible for those two clowns.
Exactly what I was trying to get at. When it's all said and done on the sixteenth these two guys are going to be lucky if they're not assisted out of the arena on stretchers and brought to the hospital.
Too bad for them--that's my goal in the end.
Trigger laughed.
I really wasn't expecting anything less from you.
Trigger smiles as Andy flexes and the scene cuts.
I know, I know...you shithead Canadians just couldn't wait for the return of Trigger Cavanagh right? And wouldn't you know it--I brought someone with me, someone who is just the type of person you all need to be worried about!
That's right! Your parents warned you about people like me. It's time for you to hide your sons because I'm going to put them in the hospital and hide your daughters because I'm making them soaking wet with each flex.
Whoa! Andy Boy, calm down just one god damned minute. Last I checked good old Gus Arnold is doing his best to run a family business here in Northern Pro it ain't as much of a bloodbath as other places we've worked in.
Either way--shits all the same Trig. We follow Johnnie where we gotta go to get the paychecks. We go in, we fuck some shit up, we turn shit upside down...we dominate, that's that!
Trigger smiled--he truly couldn't have said it better himself.
Now that we've got Andy Boy's two cents out of the way I guess it's time for someone with a little bit more of the "gift of gab" to continue. Andy right here, this bastard is 280 pounds of poor muscle, testosterone and adrenaline. This guy could leg press the little piece of shit cars most of the NPW talent drives to work in. I see you pathetic bastards, Wrecking Crew, pulling up in your Corollas and your Priuses. That's light weight for this animal, kid could probably pick up a SmartCar and toss it the length of a god damned football field. You people think you oughta be worried? I would fucking think so! Look at this way, you poor schmucks around here could barely handle me on my own and now that I've got the "muscle's muscle", as my brother so perfectly worded it, on my side you really think you morons can handle me now? I think not!
Trigger laughed, he blew a bubble in his gum and popped it with his teeth.
Some people find me a little obnoxious, I like to admit that I'm an asshole and I love it. Why else am I just ignoring just how much better of an athlete I am then anyone in this tag team division let alone these jerk offs we are debuting against on the sixteenth. I'm pretty sure I could just stand on the ring apron and let Andy take care of this match all by his lonesome--trust me I've seen him accomplish the feat before, it's pretty impressive to witness.
Andy shook his head up and down while puffing out his chest and flexing his bicep for the camera.
So what does the arrival of The Celtic Club mean for teams like The Wrecking Crew? You guys didn't have to send in questions for me to know exactly what thought is on everyone's mind. Andy--what does it mean for a team like The Wrecking Crew?
It means their days of hoping and praying to becoming the Imperial Tag Team Champions are over. There ain't a prayer in hell a team like The Wrecking Crew or any other so called "team" in Northern Pro Wrestling is going to be able to top this squad right here.
See, this is why Johnnie and I love this guy--he just gets right to the point. I know a lot of people say I run my mouth a little too much but I always back it up. During the Cruiserweight Cup I showed every piece of shit in the NPW exactly what Trigger Cavanagh is capable of one on one in the ring. Johnnie has shown you people time and time again that no one is going to beat him. As for Andy here, you people only have a few days to wait before you get the privilege of laying your eyes upon the destruction that Andy Donahue will create when he steps in between the ropes of a Northern Pro ring for the first time.
That's fucking right, you people ain't seen a wrestler like me before. I'll be picking people up left and right and chucking them like they're darts--that ain't nothing. After that I'll give you some kinda standing moonsault or shooting star press--some shit you expect to see from a tiny little dude like Trigger or smaller not from a brick shithouse like Andy fucking Donahue.
Small? I'm small now.
Andy shrugged his shoulders.
I mean, I guess everyone is fucking small next to you--this is what happens when you spend six hours a day in the gym. What scares me for our opponents is that a guy like me, I'm a ruthless prick--I learned from my brother, he's an evil prick himself for those of you who haven't realized yet--that's not good. A guy like Andy, he knows he's strong but he still has no true idea just how strong he really is a lot of times that leads to some bad shit happening to the guys that step in the ring with him--that's not good.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about Trig--that shit all sound pretty damn good to me.
Yeah, Andy, don't get me wrong all that shit sounds lovely for us but for The Wrecking Crew?
Oh yeah, that shit sounds horrible for those two clowns.
Exactly what I was trying to get at. When it's all said and done on the sixteenth these two guys are going to be lucky if they're not assisted out of the arena on stretchers and brought to the hospital.
Too bad for them--that's my goal in the end.
Trigger laughed.
I really wasn't expecting anything less from you.
Trigger smiles as Andy flexes and the scene cuts.
