Gaz Maybury is too stubborn for his own good, the old shit.
Mar 28, 2021 16:07:53 GMT -5
SWAT Team, Oh-Oh, and 2 more like this
Post by gmaybury on Mar 28, 2021 16:07:53 GMT -5
(So, let's have an update. Gareth Maybury's picked up a jack Russsell terrier, he's lost his winning streak, but he's still got an unbeaten streak, and he's currently living in a tent. He want's a fucking static caravan. A tent is for the crows. He's big time now, and wants a gas powered fire and something to cook on slowly.
So, being the owner of a Jack Russell terrier who wasn't in his corner a fortnight ago which put him off which is THE ONLY REASON BRYAN CHASE DIDN'T WIN, he has to walk the bastard. And in Toronto he walked it be a shop selling TVs.
Gareth and Lottie Dog haven't got a Television yet, as you can't hook one up to a tent. So they always stop and have a look. It was on VH1 Classic Canada or something and it was Demis Roussos. The fat man from Greece, wearing a Poncho)
Gaz: Velvet Mornings! Yes! What a song!
Lottie; I'm not sure
Gaz: Do you talk now?
Lottie: No, not quite. I'm a voiceover put in during post production who is your fears, I thought we sorted that out last time?
Gaz: I suppose that's ok. It's a bit Meta isn't it?
Lottie: Just a bit, dickhead.
VH1 Voiceover: Demis Roussos. The fat heart throb who wears a poncho and has a beard. Great singer, but an eyesore. Similar to recent immigrant Gaz Maybury.
Lottie: I need a piss you know.
Gaz: Do you?
Lottie: Yes. Take me inside. That's an insult you know? Demis Roussos? He's fat, grey and the size of a house.
Gaz: Shit, so am I.
Lottie: I need a piss.
(Gaz Maybury takes the dog inside and Gaz unfurls his meat and two veg. He pisses all over a posh TV)
Lottie: Shall we leave? It's best we leave
(They run into the night.)
#VELVET MORNINGS#
(The morning arrives, the shite spring sun which is quite frankly fucking cold hits the tree. Gaz opens the tent and has a piss against a tree. Lottie Dog walks to his right leg and narrowly avoids his stream of morning wine.)
Lottie: You're an idiot you know.
Gaz: Eh?
Lottie: You are. You're a fucking idiot. You're always making this big point. Big point about how you don't need anyone. How you're the world's toughest man. It's shit though isn't it. I'm a dog you found next to a tree. Which has no vocal chords. Dog's don't tend to. You're a mixture of so fucking stubborn and concussed you've put a voice in my mouth. And my mouth doesn't even flap. And you're so involved in yourself finally being a star you want to turn everyone away. Everyone. So listen, you old greying bastard...
When you played Rugby for Llanelli, Cardiff, Wales and the Lions, how many people were on your team.
Gaz: Fifteen
Lottie: And you were one of them, and you still had your credit.
Gaz: I worked hard...
Lottie: SO DID FUCKING EVERYONE ELSE. Right, the fucking Beer Buddies. Did you win titles? Did you have fame?
Gaz: Christ, I had maids building tennis courts.
Lottie: And how many members were there?
Gaz: Full or fighting?
Lottie: Either?
Gaz: Shit, probably about 10 or so members and when it came to beating the shit out of people it was me and Violent Dave, so two then.
Lottie: Right, and then after that, when you did well wrestling on your own... You were dogshite for years but when finally out of nowhere, you weren't alone. Who was with you?
Gaz: I'm not answering in that.
Lottie: You know who it is. You're allowing a voiceover to tell you. And you know. You know, I say, you know. You're a team player. And you don't have to be alone to be part of a team. And if it takes you losing this week and pissing on that streak, so be it.
Gaz: So you won't be in my corner?
Lottie: I'm a fucking dog you found tied to a tree Gareth. I have no choice but to be in your corner as you're going to walk me on a lead to the ring. And I'll follow you forever. But Gaz. You're nothing without a team. And you shout loud about how you're going to have your one last hurrah and win the Double Crown. But you can't do it. You're incapable. Everything you've achieved has been with friends. You're not an Island. You're a social butterfly. Don't be afraid to call Violent Dave
Gaz: I don't speak to him.
Lottie: Well fucking start. Don't be afraid to speak to Gemma Lockhart
Gaz: She's busy
Lottie: She's your friend! Shit, you've been out of the game so long, why not phone someone you've had wars with? You had The Monster Cole Christenson's number. You've always respected him, and I'm sure he's respected you. You gave him no choice but to. He was destroying everyone, and you were the only man who could beat him. It was was your nous, your toughness, yes... But you were never alone doing it!
Gaz: You done?
Lottie: No. Don't be too proud to contact Fred Elliot.
Gaz: Not doing it.
Lottie: Then enjoy your hiding to nothing.
So, being the owner of a Jack Russell terrier who wasn't in his corner a fortnight ago which put him off which is THE ONLY REASON BRYAN CHASE DIDN'T WIN, he has to walk the bastard. And in Toronto he walked it be a shop selling TVs.
Gareth and Lottie Dog haven't got a Television yet, as you can't hook one up to a tent. So they always stop and have a look. It was on VH1 Classic Canada or something and it was Demis Roussos. The fat man from Greece, wearing a Poncho)
Gaz: Velvet Mornings! Yes! What a song!
Lottie; I'm not sure
Gaz: Do you talk now?
Lottie: No, not quite. I'm a voiceover put in during post production who is your fears, I thought we sorted that out last time?
Gaz: I suppose that's ok. It's a bit Meta isn't it?
Lottie: Just a bit, dickhead.
VH1 Voiceover: Demis Roussos. The fat heart throb who wears a poncho and has a beard. Great singer, but an eyesore. Similar to recent immigrant Gaz Maybury.
Lottie: I need a piss you know.
Gaz: Do you?
Lottie: Yes. Take me inside. That's an insult you know? Demis Roussos? He's fat, grey and the size of a house.
Gaz: Shit, so am I.
Lottie: I need a piss.
(Gaz Maybury takes the dog inside and Gaz unfurls his meat and two veg. He pisses all over a posh TV)
Lottie: Shall we leave? It's best we leave
(They run into the night.)
#VELVET MORNINGS#
(The morning arrives, the shite spring sun which is quite frankly fucking cold hits the tree. Gaz opens the tent and has a piss against a tree. Lottie Dog walks to his right leg and narrowly avoids his stream of morning wine.)
Lottie: You're an idiot you know.
Gaz: Eh?
Lottie: You are. You're a fucking idiot. You're always making this big point. Big point about how you don't need anyone. How you're the world's toughest man. It's shit though isn't it. I'm a dog you found next to a tree. Which has no vocal chords. Dog's don't tend to. You're a mixture of so fucking stubborn and concussed you've put a voice in my mouth. And my mouth doesn't even flap. And you're so involved in yourself finally being a star you want to turn everyone away. Everyone. So listen, you old greying bastard...
When you played Rugby for Llanelli, Cardiff, Wales and the Lions, how many people were on your team.
Gaz: Fifteen
Lottie: And you were one of them, and you still had your credit.
Gaz: I worked hard...
Lottie: SO DID FUCKING EVERYONE ELSE. Right, the fucking Beer Buddies. Did you win titles? Did you have fame?
Gaz: Christ, I had maids building tennis courts.
Lottie: And how many members were there?
Gaz: Full or fighting?
Lottie: Either?
Gaz: Shit, probably about 10 or so members and when it came to beating the shit out of people it was me and Violent Dave, so two then.
Lottie: Right, and then after that, when you did well wrestling on your own... You were dogshite for years but when finally out of nowhere, you weren't alone. Who was with you?
Gaz: I'm not answering in that.
Lottie: You know who it is. You're allowing a voiceover to tell you. And you know. You know, I say, you know. You're a team player. And you don't have to be alone to be part of a team. And if it takes you losing this week and pissing on that streak, so be it.
Gaz: So you won't be in my corner?
Lottie: I'm a fucking dog you found tied to a tree Gareth. I have no choice but to be in your corner as you're going to walk me on a lead to the ring. And I'll follow you forever. But Gaz. You're nothing without a team. And you shout loud about how you're going to have your one last hurrah and win the Double Crown. But you can't do it. You're incapable. Everything you've achieved has been with friends. You're not an Island. You're a social butterfly. Don't be afraid to call Violent Dave
Gaz: I don't speak to him.
Lottie: Well fucking start. Don't be afraid to speak to Gemma Lockhart
Gaz: She's busy
Lottie: She's your friend! Shit, you've been out of the game so long, why not phone someone you've had wars with? You had The Monster Cole Christenson's number. You've always respected him, and I'm sure he's respected you. You gave him no choice but to. He was destroying everyone, and you were the only man who could beat him. It was was your nous, your toughness, yes... But you were never alone doing it!
Gaz: You done?
Lottie: No. Don't be too proud to contact Fred Elliot.
Gaz: Not doing it.
Lottie: Then enjoy your hiding to nothing.
