Post by Dave D-Flipz on Apr 4, 2021 14:51:12 GMT -5
"They say that sometimes to cure what ails you, you need the hair of the dog that bit you."
*A loud yipping is heard as the camera opens up on a black screen. The black is abruptly changed to off brown as we realize the camera is buried in the furry back of Buttons the War Corgi who proceeds to then run away with a mangled action figure in his mouth ... it appears to be blonde with a robotic hand ... hmm .. The camera now reveals Primal staring into it with his eyes still very red and bloodshot. His mask has claw marks from the assault by Roxy on the last NPW show.*
: "Well, it looks like I'm finally going to get to do what I should have done weeks ago. I tried having some fun, playing along, being a good hand to the company providing me with free catering every show. But this has gone on long enough. This charade had to end sometime and it seems like now is as good a time as I am going to get to throttle Timeless into submission as I'm ever going to see."
*He stands up from his position on the floor and dusts off his loincloth ... and brushes the visible dirt from his mighty mane of hair over his arms and torso.*
: "Timeless ... Alex Turner ... you could have avoided this entire scenario. You could have bit the bullet and just accepted a gift made by hand out of the goodness of my ... well heart is a strong term ..."
*He smirks and pokes at his chest*
: "Who knows, maybe I'd be out pestering Lord Dominicus and out of your hair. Maybe I'd be Double Crown Champion right now having removed Eric Dane from your hair myself. But you couldn't just be less than a tool for more than a second could you? And then to top it off ... you send your plastic princess to the ring to try and sweet talk me like some kind of animal. Like some kind of fool. Into being a tool for the advancement of Alex Turner. It's sickening. Maybe if you had something to offer me I'd engage in a little quid pro quo. After all, we've seen I can pretty much do anything I want around here. It's not like my ambitions interfered with your own. You could have approached me as an equal, you could have seen me as an ally or a friend. I mean, maybe not a friend ... I don't really do human companionship ... humans disgust me ..."
: "YIP YIP WOOF!"
: "Why yes my loyal war hound. You are a much better companion to the unique feat of nature that is Primal. You understand how pathetic these hairless apes are. You see the glory that is my outlook and the benefits of being allied with a beast like myself."
: "GGRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr-ruff!"
: "You see Timeless, even Buttons here understands where you fucked up. You treated me like a pet, like a wild animal to hunt and tame. I am no animal. I am an advanced species. I am what happens when humanity embraces the benefits of its intellect and the necessities of its rage and wild nature. You could have simply given me a reason to care and I might have eliminated the weak pathetic fools in the Syndicate for you. Instead you chose to have an airhead tell me fairy tales and attempt to bribe me with sexual appeal ... a taken woman ... in front of cameras ... because there's NO WAY that could be a setup."
: "BORK BORK!"
: "HA! Good one my friend. And now you see the futility of your actions. You had best find a way to impress me Alex. Or else I will take a perverse pleasure in ending you in front of your bitch. I will make her watch. And when you are broken beyond what any time travel shenanigans you claim to have (bullshit by the way) can fix ... I will take your trophy whore. And I will display her to the world as my spoils of conquest ... wearing the very outfit I made her. As a warning. Should the new Openweight champion ... the new Double Crown Champion ... or any other fool in the locker room give me reason to take them out? Well they can look to be like Alex Turner. Put in Time Out. Permanently. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
: "*loud whimpering*"
: "Ironic. Had you just accepted the hair of the monster that tried to be civil ... you wouldn't be getting bit by the very dog you failed to put down."
*Primal whistles and Button turns on his heels and to follow him as he skips after Primal down the lawn of a public park ... where we see a pile of dead birds, a puddle of urine ... likely a mix of Primal and Buttons ... and some poop ... and of course a ring of horrified onlookers too afraid to tangle with the Hairpile of the Amazon to tell him off.*
*A loud yipping is heard as the camera opens up on a black screen. The black is abruptly changed to off brown as we realize the camera is buried in the furry back of Buttons the War Corgi who proceeds to then run away with a mangled action figure in his mouth ... it appears to be blonde with a robotic hand ... hmm .. The camera now reveals Primal staring into it with his eyes still very red and bloodshot. His mask has claw marks from the assault by Roxy on the last NPW show.*
: "Well, it looks like I'm finally going to get to do what I should have done weeks ago. I tried having some fun, playing along, being a good hand to the company providing me with free catering every show. But this has gone on long enough. This charade had to end sometime and it seems like now is as good a time as I am going to get to throttle Timeless into submission as I'm ever going to see."*He stands up from his position on the floor and dusts off his loincloth ... and brushes the visible dirt from his mighty mane of hair over his arms and torso.*
: "Timeless ... Alex Turner ... you could have avoided this entire scenario. You could have bit the bullet and just accepted a gift made by hand out of the goodness of my ... well heart is a strong term ..."*He smirks and pokes at his chest*
: "Who knows, maybe I'd be out pestering Lord Dominicus and out of your hair. Maybe I'd be Double Crown Champion right now having removed Eric Dane from your hair myself. But you couldn't just be less than a tool for more than a second could you? And then to top it off ... you send your plastic princess to the ring to try and sweet talk me like some kind of animal. Like some kind of fool. Into being a tool for the advancement of Alex Turner. It's sickening. Maybe if you had something to offer me I'd engage in a little quid pro quo. After all, we've seen I can pretty much do anything I want around here. It's not like my ambitions interfered with your own. You could have approached me as an equal, you could have seen me as an ally or a friend. I mean, maybe not a friend ... I don't really do human companionship ... humans disgust me ...": "YIP YIP WOOF!": "Why yes my loyal war hound. You are a much better companion to the unique feat of nature that is Primal. You understand how pathetic these hairless apes are. You see the glory that is my outlook and the benefits of being allied with a beast like myself.": "GGRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr-ruff!": "You see Timeless, even Buttons here understands where you fucked up. You treated me like a pet, like a wild animal to hunt and tame. I am no animal. I am an advanced species. I am what happens when humanity embraces the benefits of its intellect and the necessities of its rage and wild nature. You could have simply given me a reason to care and I might have eliminated the weak pathetic fools in the Syndicate for you. Instead you chose to have an airhead tell me fairy tales and attempt to bribe me with sexual appeal ... a taken woman ... in front of cameras ... because there's NO WAY that could be a setup.": "BORK BORK!": "HA! Good one my friend. And now you see the futility of your actions. You had best find a way to impress me Alex. Or else I will take a perverse pleasure in ending you in front of your bitch. I will make her watch. And when you are broken beyond what any time travel shenanigans you claim to have (bullshit by the way) can fix ... I will take your trophy whore. And I will display her to the world as my spoils of conquest ... wearing the very outfit I made her. As a warning. Should the new Openweight champion ... the new Double Crown Champion ... or any other fool in the locker room give me reason to take them out? Well they can look to be like Alex Turner. Put in Time Out. Permanently. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!": "*loud whimpering*": "Ironic. Had you just accepted the hair of the monster that tried to be civil ... you wouldn't be getting bit by the very dog you failed to put down."*Primal whistles and Button turns on his heels and to follow him as he skips after Primal down the lawn of a public park ... where we see a pile of dead birds, a puddle of urine ... likely a mix of Primal and Buttons ... and some poop ... and of course a ring of horrified onlookers too afraid to tangle with the Hairpile of the Amazon to tell him off.*
