Dominicus x von Krauss: What Could Go Wrong?
Apr 9, 2021 23:13:57 GMT -5
edwarddubin0604, eddied, and 1 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Apr 9, 2021 23:13:57 GMT -5
*The camera opens up as ominous music plays while a GIANT BLACK GALLLEON floats through the air (via dirigible)! Lord Dominicus looks up at the airship of Armand von Krauss*
LD: Alright! Time for some good old fashioned EVIL VILLAIN pow-wow…ing!
*We jump cut to Dominicus on the deck of the ship, having gotten up on it…some…how. He is approached by Krauss’ most frequent servants, the twins Hehehe and Hahaha. Their disgusting forms don’t jive well with the NPW “Triple Crown” Champion.*
LD: Oh no! This was a setup! What would a corgi do?
*After a moment of DominiThinking, Dominicus slowly lowers himself to the deck on his hands and knees, getting incredibly low to the flooring.*
LD: Grrrrrrrrr! YIP! YIP! YIP YIP GRRRRRRR!
*This…wait no really, this works? Hehehe and Hahaha suddenly grab each other.*
Hehehe: Oh no he’s…
Hahaha: …gone crazy!
*Dominicus channels the might of the world’s least vicious canine (floofnine?), oddly driving terror into the duo that does Armand’s dirty work. Finally an angry German voice rings out.*
AVK: Hör auf, du Idioten zu spielen! Ausweichen!
*Hehehe and Hahaha are more scared of their boss (with good reason) and quickly move out of the way while he approaches.*
AVK: You must excuse these…things. They lack proper social graces.
*Kraus lights up an Egyptian cigarette as Dominicus stands back up.*
Hehehe: Can we…
Hahaha: …take your robe?
*Dominicus looks around and then realizes he’s wearing a BLACK cape.*
LD: Oh! This. Haha, sure, whatever you little scamps.
*He tosses the cape over to the twins, and they are immediately covered by it, and unable to see. They grope around in the PURE DARKNESS OF A CAPE ON THEIR FACES, eventually running into each other as Krauss sighs.*
AVK: Every time…
*Lord Dominicus looks around at the top deck as Armand waves him around. The raised building toward the center of the ship being where they would go below deck to the rest of the ship. High above them was the zeppelin balloon that kept the entire airship aloft. The still bloody wrestling ring is in the center of the deck.*
AVK: This is the top deck and the wrestling ring where I was doing some light sparring. I was getting ready to take down Subject #42 in the ring.
*Lord Dominicus takes a look at Armand’s slightly swollen nose and bruised eyes from where Tarrasque smashes his face into the deck.*
LD: I would hate to see heavy sparring.
AVK: Moving on.
*The pair move on from the top deck to below deck. They go down into the Observation Deck which is a large room with a wide window. There are several easy chairs in the room with a few small tables. It was meant to sit and watch where the black ship was going.*
AVK: This is where I spend much of my time while we are in the air. It relaxes me. It’s like I would imagine taking down Cheez to be. Relaxing.
LD: From my experience, taking down cheese is a very fulfilling experie- oh you mean the wrestler, don’t you?
*Instead of waiting for a response, Lord Dominicus walks a swift circle around the room, but comes right back to Armand.*
LD: You carry out evil deeds here? I don’t think so. I’m bored, this is boring. Where’s the exciting stuff on the ship happen?
*Armand was about to light himself an Egyptian cigarette when Lord Dominicus said this. He holds the lighter close to his cigarette without lighting it.*
AVK: I had this room redecorated just so you-
LD: I wanna see how this ship moves! Where are the engines?
*Armand raises an eyebrow while looking at Lord Dominicus. He puts the cigarette and lighter away.*
AVK: The Engine room. You want to see the Engine room? Was auch immer.
*A few minutes later and they are in the engine room. The room that supplies power to the several propellers and the thrusters for when Armand wants a burst of speed. The machinery hum with efficient motion and Lord Dominicus looks around like a kid in a candy store.*
LD: This is amazing! This is the machinery that keeps this ship afloat?
AVK: Well, it’s the helium in the balloon that keeps the ship floating. This machinery ensures that we go someplace. Like Riley Richards is the machinery to Rob Arnold’s helium. Rob props Riley up and Riley does the work. Shall we adjourn to the wardroom? I have drinks and mini crab cakes, bacon wrapped shrimp, and mini beef wellingtons. Fancy foods that are complicated like a John Cavanagh promo.
*Lord Dominicus rubs his chin while he DominiThinks for a moment.*
LD: I mean, I do like mini foods, but first I see what moves the ship. What about the room where the ship is controlled?
AVK: The bridge?
LD: Yeah, the bridge! I’ll have a lemonade...with blackberries- they’re real good at turning the friendly yellow color of the lemonade something much more…..DARK
AVK: I have a fine double barrel whiskey on board…
LD: Blackberry lemonade. Shall we go to the bridge?
*Krauss hesitantly nods and leads the way. After reaching their destination, Hehehe and Hahaha (freed from the confines of Dominicus’ cloak) bring them drinks. The NPW North American Cruiserweight AND Double Crown champion looks like a kid in a candy store. Armand von Krauss looks like….an evil villain with a very strong nicotine addiction. To that end he lights up another Egyptian cigarette.*
AVK: Mr. Dominicus-
LD: Lord, Lord Dominicus.
AVK: …Yes. You seem quite interested in how my ship works.
*The DARK LORD OF NPW leans back on probably a control panel or something.*
LD: Ah yes! I mean, who wouldn’t be? You TERRORIZE the skies in this thing! You’ve got to know that any self respecting villain is probably INCREDIBLY jealous every time this thing flies by!
*Armand lets out a light chuckle*
LD: You know I’ve been having quite the streak of EVIL myself these days. I stole a necklace and…
*He starts doing the math in his head though the sum continually ends up in the negatives.*
LD: …and I think everyone else just gave me what I wanted- OUT OF FEAR!
*Dominicus takes a sip of his juice.*
LD: Delicious. Yes, it is very good living the EVIL LIFE- just like that dirtbag John Cavanagh tried to explain, it’s good to be feared.
*The masked villain (who raised over half a million dollars for charity and has brought the love of numerous corgis to families all around Canada?) tries to set his drink down on the panel, but it is 1. Somewhat unstable and 2. Not a flat surface, quickly he decides to continue holding it.*
LD: But I will say that there was some particularly interesting villainy afoot from a surprising member of the XHF Rumble this year…
*Engrossed in his cigarette and drink, Krauss raises his eyebrows*
AVK: Oh?
LD: Yeah! Anthony Caffrey tried to use Holocaust Remembrance Day to shame Rob Arnold for comparing him to a few other notable bad guys.
AVK: I…don’t follow.
LD: Oh see this is the genius of it. Caffrey was trying to say that Rob’s insults were ill-timed because it was that holiday. But really? That day is in January! Anthony Caffrey is either so incredibly self-centered and up his own butt that he didn’t think to actually check the date or ask a Jewish person OR he’s a charismatic EVIL VILLAIN who doesn’t care about anyone (especially Jewish people) and tried to use their tragedy to make himself look better!
*Armand chokes slightly somewhere between his Egyptian cigarette, the whiskey, and this revelation. Lord Dominicus laughs at Anthony Caffrey’s evil plot*
AVK: …Dummkopf
LD: Yeah! That’d be a great name for him, DOOM COUGH!
AVK: No no, I said Dummkopf
LD: Kosloff?
*Armand blinks at Dominicus, is this guy for real?*
LD: But yeah, anyway, I think we’re the only two people in this match who haven’t been deluded yet. I’m a SUPER UBER CHAMPION and you have a bad-ass flying ship and evil clowns or something. I was hoping that by now Psychotic Goth-
*At the mention of his name, Krauss’ face contorts in an unpleasant way*
LD:- would have spoken up or…bellowed by now. But it’s fine, it’s fine. You and me? We’re enough. We can come up with a FOOLPROOF PLAN that’ll ensure we both make it to the final two of the Rumble before our evil friendship implodes and we stab the other in the back- as is the way of evil friendship.
AVK: Indeed…
*He lights up another Egyptian cigarette. Suddenly some turbulence rocks the airship and Domimincus stumbles back into the control panel, putting his hand on something that has produced an alarm klaxon. Armand’s eyes suddenly become very large and round.*
LD: That’s not bad is it?
*It is.*
LD: Don’t worry, I can fix it!
*Dominicus sets his drink down, but as we mentioned before, the control panel isn’t the best place to do that and it immediately spills. Sparks fly. Armand von Krauss begins saying a bunch of presumably German words that I’d rather not type out. Lord Dominicus tries his best to jam at random buttons and dials which is not working as the airship begins to noticeably list. Dominicus and von Krauss grab each other*
LD: I am so sorr-
*We cut to the outside as a smoking black airship, filled with crew, prisoners, and EVIL GENIUSES begins its relatively slow, nightmarish fall. Billows of black come from the different machines that are designed to keep the galleon aloft as several of the tethers between the ship and its balloon snap under the pressure of the twists and turns of an out of control air monstrosity pull at them. The zeppelin part itself seems to have given up as well and is quickly deflating. Back inside is pure chaos as the staff tries to overcome the smoke, flashing lights, and panicked guest*
LD: I don’t want to die!
*Outside it is a quiet, beautiful, sunny day. Birds are chirping, the spring flowers compliment the green grass and OH MY GOSH IS THAT A GIANT BALL OF FIRE!? The airship crashes with a massive impact, completely and utterly destroying the beautiful scenery and itself in the process. All that remains is fiery wreckage. Oh, and an EVIL hand struggling out of the twisted metal and wood.*
LD: Ugh…
*He stands up and surveys the damage.*
LD: Oh man, Armand is gonna be really mad. I should uh…I should go.
*Dominicus turns to leave, but then walks back over to where he came from, roots around little, finding the NPW North American Double Crown and Cruiserweight Championships, he quickly clips them together and bandoleers them.*
LD: Oh well, one less person to worry about on my way to becoming the TWENTY-FIVE CROWN CHAMPION!
*Dominicus starts to cackle but then realizes he probably just killed several people and instead opts to scurry away- as the brave and mighty corgi would do.*
AVK: ICH WERDE IHN TÖTEN!
*Oh, it would appear at least one other has made it out of the rubble. Krauss angrily (and filled with foreign curse words) begins turning over piles of wreckage looking for his crew and tin of Egyptian cigarettes- let’s be honest about which one is probably more important to him though (the cigarettes).*
LD: Alright! Time for some good old fashioned EVIL VILLAIN pow-wow…ing!
*We jump cut to Dominicus on the deck of the ship, having gotten up on it…some…how. He is approached by Krauss’ most frequent servants, the twins Hehehe and Hahaha. Their disgusting forms don’t jive well with the NPW “Triple Crown” Champion.*
LD: Oh no! This was a setup! What would a corgi do?
*After a moment of DominiThinking, Dominicus slowly lowers himself to the deck on his hands and knees, getting incredibly low to the flooring.*
LD: Grrrrrrrrr! YIP! YIP! YIP YIP GRRRRRRR!
*This…wait no really, this works? Hehehe and Hahaha suddenly grab each other.*
Hehehe: Oh no he’s…
Hahaha: …gone crazy!
*Dominicus channels the might of the world’s least vicious canine (floofnine?), oddly driving terror into the duo that does Armand’s dirty work. Finally an angry German voice rings out.*
AVK: Hör auf, du Idioten zu spielen! Ausweichen!
*Hehehe and Hahaha are more scared of their boss (with good reason) and quickly move out of the way while he approaches.*
AVK: You must excuse these…things. They lack proper social graces.
*Kraus lights up an Egyptian cigarette as Dominicus stands back up.*
Hehehe: Can we…
Hahaha: …take your robe?
*Dominicus looks around and then realizes he’s wearing a BLACK cape.*
LD: Oh! This. Haha, sure, whatever you little scamps.
*He tosses the cape over to the twins, and they are immediately covered by it, and unable to see. They grope around in the PURE DARKNESS OF A CAPE ON THEIR FACES, eventually running into each other as Krauss sighs.*
AVK: Every time…
*Lord Dominicus looks around at the top deck as Armand waves him around. The raised building toward the center of the ship being where they would go below deck to the rest of the ship. High above them was the zeppelin balloon that kept the entire airship aloft. The still bloody wrestling ring is in the center of the deck.*
AVK: This is the top deck and the wrestling ring where I was doing some light sparring. I was getting ready to take down Subject #42 in the ring.
*Lord Dominicus takes a look at Armand’s slightly swollen nose and bruised eyes from where Tarrasque smashes his face into the deck.*
LD: I would hate to see heavy sparring.
AVK: Moving on.
*The pair move on from the top deck to below deck. They go down into the Observation Deck which is a large room with a wide window. There are several easy chairs in the room with a few small tables. It was meant to sit and watch where the black ship was going.*
AVK: This is where I spend much of my time while we are in the air. It relaxes me. It’s like I would imagine taking down Cheez to be. Relaxing.
LD: From my experience, taking down cheese is a very fulfilling experie- oh you mean the wrestler, don’t you?
*Instead of waiting for a response, Lord Dominicus walks a swift circle around the room, but comes right back to Armand.*
LD: You carry out evil deeds here? I don’t think so. I’m bored, this is boring. Where’s the exciting stuff on the ship happen?
*Armand was about to light himself an Egyptian cigarette when Lord Dominicus said this. He holds the lighter close to his cigarette without lighting it.*
AVK: I had this room redecorated just so you-
LD: I wanna see how this ship moves! Where are the engines?
*Armand raises an eyebrow while looking at Lord Dominicus. He puts the cigarette and lighter away.*
AVK: The Engine room. You want to see the Engine room? Was auch immer.
*A few minutes later and they are in the engine room. The room that supplies power to the several propellers and the thrusters for when Armand wants a burst of speed. The machinery hum with efficient motion and Lord Dominicus looks around like a kid in a candy store.*
LD: This is amazing! This is the machinery that keeps this ship afloat?
AVK: Well, it’s the helium in the balloon that keeps the ship floating. This machinery ensures that we go someplace. Like Riley Richards is the machinery to Rob Arnold’s helium. Rob props Riley up and Riley does the work. Shall we adjourn to the wardroom? I have drinks and mini crab cakes, bacon wrapped shrimp, and mini beef wellingtons. Fancy foods that are complicated like a John Cavanagh promo.
*Lord Dominicus rubs his chin while he DominiThinks for a moment.*
LD: I mean, I do like mini foods, but first I see what moves the ship. What about the room where the ship is controlled?
AVK: The bridge?
LD: Yeah, the bridge! I’ll have a lemonade...with blackberries- they’re real good at turning the friendly yellow color of the lemonade something much more…..DARK
AVK: I have a fine double barrel whiskey on board…
LD: Blackberry lemonade. Shall we go to the bridge?
*Krauss hesitantly nods and leads the way. After reaching their destination, Hehehe and Hahaha (freed from the confines of Dominicus’ cloak) bring them drinks. The NPW North American Cruiserweight AND Double Crown champion looks like a kid in a candy store. Armand von Krauss looks like….an evil villain with a very strong nicotine addiction. To that end he lights up another Egyptian cigarette.*
AVK: Mr. Dominicus-
LD: Lord, Lord Dominicus.
AVK: …Yes. You seem quite interested in how my ship works.
*The DARK LORD OF NPW leans back on probably a control panel or something.*
LD: Ah yes! I mean, who wouldn’t be? You TERRORIZE the skies in this thing! You’ve got to know that any self respecting villain is probably INCREDIBLY jealous every time this thing flies by!
*Armand lets out a light chuckle*
LD: You know I’ve been having quite the streak of EVIL myself these days. I stole a necklace and…
*He starts doing the math in his head though the sum continually ends up in the negatives.*
LD: …and I think everyone else just gave me what I wanted- OUT OF FEAR!
*Dominicus takes a sip of his juice.*
LD: Delicious. Yes, it is very good living the EVIL LIFE- just like that dirtbag John Cavanagh tried to explain, it’s good to be feared.
*The masked villain (who raised over half a million dollars for charity and has brought the love of numerous corgis to families all around Canada?) tries to set his drink down on the panel, but it is 1. Somewhat unstable and 2. Not a flat surface, quickly he decides to continue holding it.*
LD: But I will say that there was some particularly interesting villainy afoot from a surprising member of the XHF Rumble this year…
*Engrossed in his cigarette and drink, Krauss raises his eyebrows*
AVK: Oh?
LD: Yeah! Anthony Caffrey tried to use Holocaust Remembrance Day to shame Rob Arnold for comparing him to a few other notable bad guys.
AVK: I…don’t follow.
LD: Oh see this is the genius of it. Caffrey was trying to say that Rob’s insults were ill-timed because it was that holiday. But really? That day is in January! Anthony Caffrey is either so incredibly self-centered and up his own butt that he didn’t think to actually check the date or ask a Jewish person OR he’s a charismatic EVIL VILLAIN who doesn’t care about anyone (especially Jewish people) and tried to use their tragedy to make himself look better!
*Armand chokes slightly somewhere between his Egyptian cigarette, the whiskey, and this revelation. Lord Dominicus laughs at Anthony Caffrey’s evil plot*
AVK: …Dummkopf
LD: Yeah! That’d be a great name for him, DOOM COUGH!
AVK: No no, I said Dummkopf
LD: Kosloff?
*Armand blinks at Dominicus, is this guy for real?*
LD: But yeah, anyway, I think we’re the only two people in this match who haven’t been deluded yet. I’m a SUPER UBER CHAMPION and you have a bad-ass flying ship and evil clowns or something. I was hoping that by now Psychotic Goth-
*At the mention of his name, Krauss’ face contorts in an unpleasant way*
LD:- would have spoken up or…bellowed by now. But it’s fine, it’s fine. You and me? We’re enough. We can come up with a FOOLPROOF PLAN that’ll ensure we both make it to the final two of the Rumble before our evil friendship implodes and we stab the other in the back- as is the way of evil friendship.
AVK: Indeed…
*He lights up another Egyptian cigarette. Suddenly some turbulence rocks the airship and Domimincus stumbles back into the control panel, putting his hand on something that has produced an alarm klaxon. Armand’s eyes suddenly become very large and round.*
LD: That’s not bad is it?
*It is.*
LD: Don’t worry, I can fix it!
*Dominicus sets his drink down, but as we mentioned before, the control panel isn’t the best place to do that and it immediately spills. Sparks fly. Armand von Krauss begins saying a bunch of presumably German words that I’d rather not type out. Lord Dominicus tries his best to jam at random buttons and dials which is not working as the airship begins to noticeably list. Dominicus and von Krauss grab each other*
LD: I am so sorr-
*We cut to the outside as a smoking black airship, filled with crew, prisoners, and EVIL GENIUSES begins its relatively slow, nightmarish fall. Billows of black come from the different machines that are designed to keep the galleon aloft as several of the tethers between the ship and its balloon snap under the pressure of the twists and turns of an out of control air monstrosity pull at them. The zeppelin part itself seems to have given up as well and is quickly deflating. Back inside is pure chaos as the staff tries to overcome the smoke, flashing lights, and panicked guest*
LD: I don’t want to die!
*Outside it is a quiet, beautiful, sunny day. Birds are chirping, the spring flowers compliment the green grass and OH MY GOSH IS THAT A GIANT BALL OF FIRE!? The airship crashes with a massive impact, completely and utterly destroying the beautiful scenery and itself in the process. All that remains is fiery wreckage. Oh, and an EVIL hand struggling out of the twisted metal and wood.*
LD: Ugh…
*He stands up and surveys the damage.*
LD: Oh man, Armand is gonna be really mad. I should uh…I should go.
*Dominicus turns to leave, but then walks back over to where he came from, roots around little, finding the NPW North American Double Crown and Cruiserweight Championships, he quickly clips them together and bandoleers them.*
LD: Oh well, one less person to worry about on my way to becoming the TWENTY-FIVE CROWN CHAMPION!
*Dominicus starts to cackle but then realizes he probably just killed several people and instead opts to scurry away- as the brave and mighty corgi would do.*
AVK: ICH WERDE IHN TÖTEN!
*Oh, it would appear at least one other has made it out of the rubble. Krauss angrily (and filled with foreign curse words) begins turning over piles of wreckage looking for his crew and tin of Egyptian cigarettes- let’s be honest about which one is probably more important to him though (the cigarettes).*