Post by Venom 🕷 on Apr 10, 2021 13:29:33 GMT -5
We open in the office of Charlie Velez. He is sitting alone at his large desk in his large office at Velez Corp. He looks into the camera and shrugs.
Velez: So for a few weeks now New Championship Wrestling has been back, and I am really excited about that. I am in fact so excited that when Fox sent over the contract offer I immediately told my secretary to stamp my signature on it and send it back. I of course could not sign it myself because Covid. It’d be far too dangerous to touch those papers. Unfortunately, though, I have not been able to make it to any of the events.
Velez clears his throat.
Velez: The first event I could not get someone to fly my private jet. My crew came down with a case of the vid. Which is why for the second event I was prepared to drive myself, and by drive myself I mean I put the address in my self-driving car. I had another issue, though. My smart home technology sent me an alert that I left the blender on, and I just couldn’t let it keep running the entire time I was gone. I mean who else would turn it off for me? My wife? Nah. My kids? Nah. I had to do it myself and it stopped me from making it.
Velez points at the camera.
Velez: This time I will make it. I have cleared my schedule and I am prepared to fight in this tag team match alongside.
Velez shuffles some papers around in front of him to find out who he is teaming with.
Velez: Esmeralda Von Cross? I have no clue who that is. but oh man I just realized something. I think might have an appointment to get my hair cut. I’m sorry guys, but I may not be able to make it again.
Velez quickly motions to cut and we fade to black.
Velez: So for a few weeks now New Championship Wrestling has been back, and I am really excited about that. I am in fact so excited that when Fox sent over the contract offer I immediately told my secretary to stamp my signature on it and send it back. I of course could not sign it myself because Covid. It’d be far too dangerous to touch those papers. Unfortunately, though, I have not been able to make it to any of the events.
Velez clears his throat.
Velez: The first event I could not get someone to fly my private jet. My crew came down with a case of the vid. Which is why for the second event I was prepared to drive myself, and by drive myself I mean I put the address in my self-driving car. I had another issue, though. My smart home technology sent me an alert that I left the blender on, and I just couldn’t let it keep running the entire time I was gone. I mean who else would turn it off for me? My wife? Nah. My kids? Nah. I had to do it myself and it stopped me from making it.
Velez points at the camera.
Velez: This time I will make it. I have cleared my schedule and I am prepared to fight in this tag team match alongside.
Velez shuffles some papers around in front of him to find out who he is teaming with.
Velez: Esmeralda Von Cross? I have no clue who that is. but oh man I just realized something. I think might have an appointment to get my hair cut. I’m sorry guys, but I may not be able to make it again.
Velez quickly motions to cut and we fade to black.