Thursday Night Inferno, Episode #7 [April 15th]
Apr 15, 2021 22:40:52 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Kira Izumi, and 2 more like this
Post by anthonycaffrey on Apr 15, 2021 22:40:52 GMT -5
The arena is pitch black... and then, it's not. There's a cackling laugh that rips through the arena. A spotlight appears high up in the nosebleed section, showcasing a mysterious figure, who quickly disappears. Another spotlight shows the same figure, this time standing in the ring, but they disappear again. Finally, the jumbo screens on the stage buzz to life.
MAJESTY: Ahhhhhhhhh!
A loud sigh of relief. The quietly unsettling face of Majesty fades into view, enshrouded by a hood, casting a shadow over their face.
MAJESTY: We've been away for some time. Wandering alone in the darkness.
Majesty's bottom lip curls into a frown.
MAJESTY: And it has been... soooooo... lonely.
The frown slowly warps itself into a grin.
MAJESTY: But now... we're back...
Majesty pulls down their hood and finally shows off their face for the first time. Their eyes go wide and their mouth contorts into a twisted cackle.
MAJESTY: WE WANDER IN THE DARKNESS... NO LONGER!
Majesty lets out a guttural scream and at the same time, the entire arena is bathed in fiery light. Flames erupt from the ring ropes, the stage, the rafters... to the point where the camera feed is flooded out from overexposure to the light.
When the light fades away and the arena comes back into focus, the ritual flame is ablaze with magical fire. A piercing, shrill laugh echoes out over the arena once again, but Majesty is nowhere to be found.
GM Marcus Washington is already in the ring, prepared for the contract signing for the XHF Tag Team Championship. There’s a table, up a little higher than usual and fully covered with a cloth, but only four chairs and the contract itself.
Stanford: Please welcome, the FIRESIDE Tag Team champions, Team USA, the Unique Stud Alliance!
A mash up of Hideki Naganuma's "Teknopathetic" and Metallica's "Don't Tread on Me" plays. After a good amount of drums, Donny comes out of the back with a cartwheel into a a front flip and lands in the modern super hero pose looking out at the crowd. Curtis emerges right behind him with a sledgehammer over his shoulder, and hoists it in the air when Donny hits the pose. A bunch of pyro in alternating red, white, and blue go off from the stage shooting into in succession away from the men as they are in pose. Donny springing forth and flips his way down the ramp, each one adding more twists than the last, finally landing perfectly. Curtis walks nonchalantly behind and gives Donny a thumbs up with his free hand at the finish. Donny jumps up to the apron and pulls the ropes down, using them to launch himself on top before moonsaulting off of them, again landing in that hero pose. As he does, Curtis rolls into the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, then points to the crowd with his hammer before hoisting it straight up into the air, and yells "BANG!"
Wright: At Fuel for the Fire, these two conquered the Hot Tag Express in an instant classic, and now they’re looking to add more gold in the form of the XHF Tag Team champions!
Park: They’d love to become the first double tag team champions in XHF history, and they have the best shot of anyone if they’re both healthy after that hellacious match, and it looks like the three weeks off did them real good.
Stanford: And please welcome, one of the teams opposing them at the Rumble live on the 26th, the XHF Tag Team Champions, Subject #42 and Anthony Caffrey, Subject to Change!
“My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” by Fall Out Boy hits the speakers. The owner of FIRESIDE, Anthony Caffrey, emerges from the back to a loud ovation from the fans. He is walking gingerly, clutching up what one might guess are taped up ribs after the assault from Jesse Jamester on NPW’s last show last Tuesday.
Wright: Caffrey has had a wild week, being taken down by half of the Syndicate in his rival Jesse Jamester, and firing another rival in the form of both members of the New Age Killers!
Park: It’s a controversial firing as he advised them to take a path to happiness -- looking at his face, his happiness is definitely not through having to occupy the ring with Team USA.
Wright: And no Subject in sight, either. We’ve seen how this goes, Caffrey might be walking into a slaughter.
The two teams clearly have animosity. You can tell that this contract signing is the very definition of a formality as everyone involved is gearing up for violence. Team USA set their championships in front of Cafffrey, he does the same with the XHF Tag Team championship.
Kanyon: Look at this Donny, CEO Caffrey all alone, trying to play big man on campus, but we know the truth. Even his new partner wants nothing to do with him!
Donny: What's the matter Anthony? Why can you not have friends?
Caffrey shakes his head.
Caffrey: Subject’s their own person, boys, as attached to the hip as you’ve become. They’ve got a race to win, and a couple of jokers to prepare for. My friends around the ring will have to do tonight.
He gestures towards the crowd, who gives him another roaring cheer. The eyes he gives Marcus indicates that he wants to get this over with. He actually signs the contract without even reading it, knowing how badly he wants to kick Team USA’s asses. He takes off of his shirt, ready for a fight. Marcus does his diligence to read out the contract.
Washington: On the 25th, these two teams and the New Age Killers will do battle in the XHF’s first ever, and probably last ever, Murder Hornet Hell. The rules are simple: once all the murder hornets are released in the dome, a pinfall or submission can occur. But with the dangers of the hornets involved, Mongo and the XHF have asked us to have every team involved sign a hold harmless agreement, freeing the federation of liability if great harm occurs. That being said, Team USA, our FIRESIDE Tag Team champions, you may sign first.
Marcus slides the contract over to Team USA.
Kanyon: I will happily sign this agreement. We need to make sure Murder Hornet awareness is at an all time high. If I get to cause Caffrey some suffering along the way by getting him stung, that's just a cherry on top. Of course I also want to do the same to he who shall not be named, but I'm not going to cut into him now and get this segment cut. I'll save that for the Rumble promos. No no, since we're here with just you Caffrey, tonight you get all my attention and all my scorn. You took from me! And now, piece by piece, I take everything from you! Your precious tag division today, your title next, and when I'm done with you, Fireside will be ashes, and the two of us will be standing on top.
Curtis passes the pen to Donny.
Deville: We're about to be the first double tag team champions. Don't forget to celebrate our victory with a subscription to Donny’s Incredible Cuisine and Kinetics!
The crowd goes wild. Donny and Kanyon are smugly smiling.
Deville:...but before we go, how about we put you through another table for old times sake?
The crowd ‘oohs’ and ‘ahs’. Caffrey picks up the microphone to respond, but for some reason, he’s already smiling.
Caffrey: I figured you might say that.
Caffrey flips the table, revealing Subject #42 has been hiding underneath! Subject lets out a loud ‘RAGH’ and the fight is on!
Wright: Caffrey had a friend after all!
Park: A big ass friend!
The four champions brawl in the ring with one another. Caffrey has been knocked to the ground by Kanyon but Subject is right there, wrapping his hands around the former President’s throat! Subject carries Kanyon to the table for a choke bomb, but Deville smacks them in the back of the head with the FIRESIDE Tag Team championship! Subject goes down in a heap as Deville takes the title and begins whipping Subject with it repeatedly! Deville ejects Subject from the ring by booting them out!
Wright: There goes Subject!
Park: But Deville has to watch himself, Caffrey’s right there waiting for him!
The crowd’s booing quickly turns to cheers as Caffrey charges in to fire off the Closing Remarks, but Deville impressively leaps over it, and Caffrey ends up running right into the BANG, with Kanyon sending himself and Caffrey through the table!
Wright: Kanyon had his partner’s back with that one! I don’t think Subject to Change can say the same thing, especially with Caffrey just being sent through yet another table!
Park: Subject couldn’t have Caffrey’s back, he had just been beaten mercilessly by Deville with the championship!
The FIRESIDE Tag Team champions grab their titles and hightail it out of the ring before Subject can come back to consciousness. The crowd boos loudly as they hoist their titles up high, but they’re also fully scurrying up the ramp with Subject making it back to their feet. Subject doesn’t give chase, instead checking on their partner.
Wright: A message sent before Murder Hornet Hell!
Park: Can Team USA continue their dominance and become double champions? Find out on the 25th!
Park: Welcome back to Inferno!! We've got a lot of action still coming your way, an...
Wright: My apologies, Unjoo; but it seems like there's some commotion in the parking lot at the moment... Do we have a camera rolling out there?
The image on the screen shoots to a live feed from the employee parking lot, where indeed there is some excitement. A stretch Hummer pulls up to the employee entrance door, stopping to allow someone out of the front. He runs around to the back door, propping it open.
Park: Who's this? What's with the fanfare?
The camera tightens on the back door, watching as a loafer slowly emerges... Followed by a fine suit leg... Another shoe...
Park: Who in the hell...
Wright: No way!! That's Jaice Wilds!! He's the hottest free agent in the business right now... What's he doing here?!
The camera follows Wilds out of the Hummer and up to the employee entrance door. He is stopped by security, who offer their respect.
Security Guard #1: Welcome, Mr Wilds! How are you, sir?
Jaice Wilds: Quite well, thank you. I have a meeting with a Mister... Caffrey?
Guard #2: Indeed, sir. And we'll get you in momentarily, he did just go throuhh a table. But first, we have to check your person for weapons. I'm sorry, but you have a history...
Wilds holds his hands up in surrender, chuckling a bit as he shakes his head.
Wilds: Hey, no worries. Do what you gotta do, man. I'm cool.
The guards frisk Wilds, assuring that he's clean. They apologize, Wilds understanding and offering a hand. The guards shake it and proceed to usher Wilds into the building.
"The Planets Op. 32: IV. Jupiter- Bringer of Jollity" by Gustav Holst begins to play on the arena speakers. The lights dim slightly and a spotlight appears on the stage.
STANFORD: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the SPARK Championship! Introducing first, she is the reigning SPARK Champion..... MISTRESS DISCIPLINE!
Mistress Discipline steps onto the stage and adjusts the high collar and neckline of her trademark blue blouse. She marches to the ring with a purpose and without glasses because she wears contacts into the ring so she can see. She rolls into the ring and adjusts her trademark hair buns. She steps into the corner and begins stretching her arms while awaiting the arrival of her challenger.
'Firestarter' by Prodigy starts to play. Derrick Lancaster struts out and stops after taking a few steps. Looking out at the "crowd" he raises both arms up while nodding as if to say "yup take it in. I have arrived."
STANFORD: Introducing next, the challenger, DERRICK LANCASTER!!!
Lancaster bolts the rest of the way to the ring, sliding into it head first. After clearing the ropes he Kips back onto his feet springing off his hands, then immediately jumps forward into a handstand; he does this with one arm behind his back. While Mistress Discipline is handing the referee the SPARK title belt, Lancaster chooses his moment to strike. The champ seems to have the challenger's number, though, when she spins on her heel and stops Derrick Lancaster cold with a Final Bell knee strike right to the point of the chin.
WRIGHT: Good lord! Mistress Discipline got all of that one!
PARK: She attacked him before the bell! Come on, Ref! That should be a disqualification!
The referee signals for the bell, bringing the match officially underway. Lancaster is still completely out in the middle of the ring, but rather than go for the pin, Mistress Discipline strolls over to the corner of the ring, leaning back against the turnbuckles. She makes a show of making sure her hair is in place, then checks her nails while waiting for Lancaster to regain his senses.
WRIGHT: Mistress has this won, but rather than put Lancaster away she's putting on a show for the fans.
PARK: This is embarrassing is what it is.
Lancaster finally starts to get back to his feet. As soon as he's up on his knees, Discipline blasts the challenger in the side of the head with a shining big boot. This time she pushes the advantage, hauling Lancaster up off the mat. She drives another hard kick into Lancaster's guts, following up with a piledriver. Mistress Discipline moves to pick up Lancaster again, but the challenger pulls her into a small package for a pin attempt, Lancaster grabs a handful of the champion's tights, and puts his foot on the ropes for more leverage.
REF: ONE!!!! TWO!!!! TH- NO!!! The referee notices Lancaster's foot on the ropes and stops the count!
The referee stops the count, pushing Lancaster's foot of the ropes and telling off the challenger. Lancaster plays innocent, acting like he wasn't aware his foot was on the ropes.
WRIGHT: The despicable Derrick Lancaster playing innocent. Come now.
PARK: Nice to see some signs of life from the guy.
Lancaster puts his hand in the referee's face, making kind of a disgusted grimace. He turns away from the referee, just in time to catch another Final Bell knee strike in the face. Derrick staggers, and Mistress Discipline pushes the attack, grabbing his wrist and pulling him into another knee strike, then a third. Lancaster manages to stay on his feet, flipping off the spark champion and then choosing to taunt the crowd, seeming to suggest that the champion's best isn't enough to stop him. Mistress takes a moment to tighten her hair buns again, but it's hard to miss the frustrated look on her face. Lancaster continues to taunt the champion, miming that she can cry about it, earning a plethora of boos from the crowd.
WRIGHT: Lancaster isn't making any friends tonight.
PARK: He's in a title match, he has better things to do than make friends.
Lancaster gets in Discipline's face, shoving the champion. She comes back with a hard slap to the face that sends the already-unsteady challenger reeling. Lancaster bounces off the ropes into yet another Final Bell knee strike from the champion that finally sends him sprawling to the mat. Lancaster appears to be bleeding from the mouth and rolls on his side, coughing and groaning. Discipline isn't done yet; she hauls Lancaster up to his feet only to plant him with another piledriver.
WRIGHT: This is hard to watch.
PARK: Like her or hate her, it's hard to argue that Miss D didn't come to play tonight. She's taking Lancaster apart!
Mistress Discipline kneels in the ring, looking at Lancaster, but rather than pin him she climbs to her feet again, pulling Lancaster up along with her. Lancaster can barely stay on his feet, and can be heard begging for mercy. Mistress pouts out her lower lip, looking as if she is almost convinced by his words.
PARK: It looks like Derrick Lancaster might have just used that silver tongue to talk his way into a chance for a comeback.
WRIGHT: I wouldn't underestimate Mistress Discipline were I you.
Lancaster takes the opportunity to try and mount an offense and shoves Mistress into the ropes, only for her to dodge his clumsy attempt at a clothesline and blast him again with another running Big Boot. Discipline hauls Lancaster up to his feet, making sure he's able to stand on his own before she drives another hard kick into his abdomen. She follows up with the Sit-Out Powerbomb!
WRIGHT: The Expulsion! That's got it, then. After this beatdown at the hands of Mistress there's no coming back for Derrick Lancaster.
PARK: Mistress Discipline made Derrick Lancaster look like a joke, and that powerbomb was the punchline. It's gonna be hard to come back from.
Mistress rolls Lancaster onto his side, locking in the Detention! Lancaster cries out, begging to be let go. After a moment, he starts to fade. The referee checks on the challenger, but Lancaster rallies enough to stay in it, shouting 'NO'. Lancaster struggles against the champion, trying to get enough leverage to get to the ropes to force a break. Lancaster manages to edge closer to the ropes, but Discipline refuses to let up. Between the lack of oxygen and the loss of blood, Lancaster is fading again.
WRIGHT: Incredible effort from the challenger!
PARK: All he needs to do is touch the rope and he'll force a break, but does he have enough left in the tank to do it?
Lancaster is almost close enough to reach the ropes when Mistress Discipline twists her body and rolls Lancaster back to the center of the ring! There is no hope left for the challenger, but Lancaster still refuses to submit. His eyes start to roll back in his head, and the referee checks on the challenger, signalling for the bell.
WRIGHT: And that's it for Lancaster! Try as he might, the challenger was no match for the submission specialist.
PARK: Mistress earned the win tonight, that's for sure.
STANFORD: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match by submission and STILL Fireside SPARK Champion..... MISTRESS DISCIPLINE!!
The referee hands the belt back to Mistress. She kisses the belt and raises it above her head before rolling out of the ring. She stalks up the ramp, looking smugly satisfied, as the camera pans back to the ring where the referee is helping Lancaster out of the ring.
A camera opens up backstage, following resident veteran reporter Walter Stanford. He is unfortunately still doing double duty as both the announcer and interviewer. He heads down a hall towards the upper end of the fan seats, excited. As he approaches a door marked "Sponsor Box Seats", he turns to face the camera.
Walter Stanford: Walter Stanford here, bringing you the latest! We've received word that Jaice Wilds, 16 year veteran and living legend, is in the building tonight, meeting with Fireside Owner Anthony Caffrey. My sources have placed them in this roo...
Walter grins, making his way into the box where Wilds is watching the show.
Stanford: Mister Wilds! Walter Stanford; it's an honor to meet you. Would it be inappropriate to ask for a quick interview?
Wilds turns, a smile across his face. He motions for Walter to sit, waving the camera crew closer. Walter sits down, Jaice extending a hand.
Jaice Wilds: Always a pleasure to chat with the resident interviewers. What can I do for you... Walter? You said your name was?
Walter shakes Jaice's hand, nodding.
Stanford: Yes. Thank you, Mr Wilds. Well, I guess first thing's first... What brings you to Fireside and Inferno??
Wilds sits back, tilting his head. He shrugs.
Wilds: What does bring me here? Of all the places in the world I could compete, of all the places where I could plant myself and continue to grow, why here?? Well, the simplest response is that Caffrey gave me the best offer. Sure, I had contracts offered elsewhere for substantially more money. But those were management contracts. Trainers, talent relations. Anthony offered me a reasonable contract to actually get out and wrestle for a few years. And that's what I plan to do. I'm not ready to retire and ride off into the wind; I came to XHF to continue my legacy. And Tony is more than happy to provide me that outlet.
Walter nods, intrigued. He takes a moment, trying to regain his thoughts.
Stanford: Have you looked the roster over yet? Do you have an opponent in mind to start your Fireside career?
Wilds strokes his chin, pondering for a moment. He looks out to the ring, where a match is taking place. He breathes deeply, looking back to Walter.
Wilds: I have indeed looked over the roster. It's a formidable collection of who's who in XHF and the business right now. And while I'm excited to get started, I really haven't centered in on any particular opposition. See, like I told Caffrey: I want to earn my spot here. I don't want any special treatment or cheap handouts. I came here for the adrenaline, the fight; and I don't care who I have to stare down to get it. I'll start from the bottom and work my way up, the way I always have.
Stanford: And win championships... Right?
Wilds: Titles aren't as important to me as the competition. Let me just get that much straight. That said; if a title opportunity slides my way, I'd be a fool not to take a chance. So, sure. I'll be looking to eventually add some more gold to my list of accomplishments. But that's after I solidify myself at the apex of the proverbial food chain.
Walter grins, not expecting such an answer. He regains his composure, looking to Wilds.
Stanford: Last question for you. Do you have any words for the Fireside roster?
Jaice takes a moment to think, looking out to the stadium. He takes a deep breath, turning to face the camera.
Wilds: Pay close attention: I am not here to make friends. I will afford each of you whatever modicum of respect you give me. For those who can last, your names will be etched into a legacy that spans longer than some careers ever will. For those without the courage to step up, you will be forgotten such as the men and women I once called colleagues. The Inevitable Era begins in Fireside, boys and girls. Prepare yourselves.
Walter offers a hand, Jaice firmly shaking it. Stanford turns to the camera, eagerly grinning.
Stanford: You heard it here, folks! Jaice Wilds is officially signed with Fireside, and he is ready to carve a path of dominance through the roster. Stay tuned in to Inferno; we've got a lot more action for you!
The camera fades out as Wilds and Stanford continue to speak with the mics off.
Stanford: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for One Fall, and it is for a spot in the Battle of the Best Tournament! Introducing first, from Hamburg, Germany, weighing in 195 pounds, he is ‘Das Blitzkind, OOOTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOO RITTTTTERRRRRR!
The opening riff begins to play as lights flicker off and on. We pan across the venue as the song continues. The opening words begin as we see Otto come out from the back. He walks up to the stage before pausing and surveying the venue. He walks down the ring with his hands behind his back, walking around the ring as the chaotic instrumentals blare over the speaker.
Wright: The German does not look pleased tonight, having come up short in his match at Fuel for the Fire against Esmur, being forced to submit. Tonight he’s looking to get into Battle of the Best with a win.
Park: If Ritter takes home a ‘W’ like he did at Supremacy, that tournament is his key to getting another shot at Esmur and world championship gold. But he certainly does not have an easy path.
He walks up the steps and onto the apron before wiping his feet and entering the holy land, ignoring the booing crowd. He takes a step into the middle of the ring before pointing up a finger to the sky and mouthing something in german.
Stanford: And his opponent, she hails from Paris, Illinois, weighing in at 195 pounds, she is ZOLOTHAAAAAACHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
“Cthulhu” by Gunship begins playing as torches all along the entranceway and aisle light up. “Zolothach” Tabitha Osborne walks out from the back with a wide grin as she takes in the boos from the crowd. She heads down to the ring with a sexy swagger (but she looks like a corpse so not very many catcalls). She rolls into the ring and leans in her corner.
Wright: Zolothach also came up short in her pursuit of the SPARK Championship against Mistress Discipline, and she’s been in a foul mood ever since.
Park: Oh, I’m sure she didn’t mean to rip that poor fortune teller’s hand off…
Wright: ...yeah, try telling Zolo she doesn’t belong here and see how long you last. I’m surprised fans are even daring to boo, to be honest.
The bell rings and ‘Das Blitzkind’ Otto Ritter comes out of the box hot, immediately grabbing a punch from Zolothach and twisting her arm into the basics of an armbar. She swats at him to free herself, but the flexible technician bends backwards, limboing under the attempts to free herself. He jumps up and twists himself around, turning the armbar into a cross armbar! Zolothach lets out a groan in pain and looks towards the ropes!
Wright: Zolothach is in trouble here in the early-goings!
Park: Ritter had nasty, harsh words for her leading up to this one, and the violence has carried over to the ring!
Zolothach manages to hook her arm into the bottom rope, causing the referee to start her count. She begins counting and it’s clear that Ritter isn’t willing to let up before the count of four, much to the chagrin of the fans who let him hear it for his underhanded tactics. The German gets back off of the mat and has a smile on his face, happy to have stretched out his opposition and potentially robbed her of some of her offensive capabilities before she could even touch him. The referee checks on Zolothach, who immediately waves her off, then works on trying to shake out and stretch out her shoulder to get some blood circulating in her arm. She stays in the corner and Ritter comes to meet her, only to be met with a wicked enziguri that knocks him clean out of the ring!
Wright: Did you hear that kick?
Park: Zolothach just bought herself some time to recover with that kick! I’d be surprised if Ritter knew where he was after that one!
...ONE!
Zolothach looks to the top rope and climbs up, doing her best to ignore the pain shooting through her shoulder as she stands and waits for Ritter to make it back to his feet.
...TWO!
She then launches off, connecting with a missile dropkick, driving him spine first into the ring barricade!
...ONE!
Wright: Missile dropkick from the Wicked One!
Park: Wicked is a very good word for her, but I would’ve gone with demented, Oliver. She’s demented.
...TWO!
Zolothach bends over, licking her opponent’s face! Ritter yelps in concern and quickly backpedals away from her, but she also voices how good she’d look wearing his skin.
...THREE!
Park: See what I mean?
Wright: Point taken!
Ritter brings himself back up to his feet and is more interested at this moment at getting away from the disturbing Zolothach following him around the ring. He rolls back under the ropes to create distance, but she’s right on top of him and his only respite is to begin firing away with european uppercuts. Each strike is landed with more energy than the last, a man clearly disturbed by what he’s heard and trying his best to bring home a quick victory and get the hell out of dodge. He goes for a pin right after he manages to ground her, but she kicks out before the referee can even drop to count, so things aren’t quite working out for him at this moment. He takes her back up to her feet to attempt a bridging german suplex, but she traps his arms and straight up bites him! The crowd boos loudly!
Wright: Oh God!
Park: The Cthulhu follower has definitely taken back the momentum, in her own strange way!
Zolothach has a demented look in her eyes as Ritter drops to the mat clutching his neck where he had just been bitten, a combination of afraid and uncomfortable as Zolothach continues to establish her momentum. She looks to grab him and lock him in a modified version of her ‘Tranq Out’ cobra clutch submission hold, but Ritter is too fast, immediately flipping out of her clutches. She gets a hand on him and the two lock hands, beginning a test of strength that ends with Ritter dropping to his back and performing a monkey flip, but Zolothach finishes the flip, landing on her feet! A taken aback Ritter charges forward, popping her with a running knee strike into an axe kick!
Wright: Donnerndes Dröhnen der Bombardierung!
Park: I’m not convinced Ritter doesn’t hit that move just to make you speak German! This might be it!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...A kickout at two!
Ritter bangs the mat in frustration after not being able to put away Zolothach with that move.
Wright: He wanted that one, but she wanted it more in that moment!
Park: Both of these wrestlers are trying to begin fresh new chapters and qualify for the Battle for the Best tournament in a very back-and-forth match!
Ritter waits for his opponent to get back to his feet but immediately finds himself in her grip. She whips him into the corner, but he finds himself on the second rope and projects himself off of it, then moving to crawl under her legs! Another test of strength starts, but Ritter puts a leg up over her arm to get out of it and then gets behind her! He then leapfrogs over her, only to immediately crawl under her legs backwards and offer a third test of strength, getting ready to turn it into a pinning predicament…
Wright: These are all the high-flying and quick-moving steps of the Marsch in Richtung Freiheit! Protest für den Frieden!
Park: Do you even know what that means? How does this end?
Wright: With a…
Before Oliver can finish his sentence, Ritter goes for the pin, but Zolothach rolls through the move to trap his throat between her legs and to lock him in a reverse crucifix armbar!
Wright: The Stars are Right! Zolothach countered him!
Park: Ritter doesn’t have anywhere to go! His theatrical maneuver may have backfired!
Ritter looks around for the ropes and tries his best to fight off the hold, but he can’t! Referee Melissa Davenport calls for the bell as he almost immediately slips into unconsciousness!
Wright: Oh man, I think he’s out!
Park: That quick?! Yeah! He’s not moving!
Stanford: Here is your winner, advancing to the Battle of the Best, she is ZOOOOOOLOOOOOOOTHAAAAACHHHHHHH!
Referee Melissa Davenport urges Zolothach to get off of Ritter. She does so on her own terms, and the referee doesn’t dare to raise her arm, getting the hell out of the ring, so she raises her own.
Wright: Well, Zolothach bounced back quickly from that loss at Fuel to the Fire. I would hate to be whoever draws her in the Fuel for the Fire tournament.
Park: She makes me awfully glad I’m not an active competitor anymore, Oliver.
She rolls out of the ring as the medical staff come down to check on and wake up ‘Das Blitzkind’, happy to have taken her pound of flesh.
The show comes back from commercial, revealing a bar set up in the ring. An elaborate sign is hung over the bar, advertising 'Shoot The Fizz' with Vodka Fizz. There is a man behind the bar, cleaning the bartop with a towel as 'Giddy Up' by Cowboy Troy plays. The scene cuts to Gorilla, revealing Vodka Fizz dressed in a double-breasted mink-fur tailcoat and a ludicrously tall top hat with several peacock feather tucked in it. He kinda looks like what someone who had never seen a pimp before would think a pimp would look like if they turned it up to 11. He has handed a script to Sanford, who is reading it and looking abjectly horrified.
STANFORD: Do I really need to read this?
There is a world-weary sigh from the announcer.
STANFORD: Alright, alright, I get it. Alright Stanford, shake it off. Just read the prompter. Breathe. Deep Breaths. Alright, I think I'm ready..
Vodka grins and points finger guns at Stanford, who rolls his eyes before taking a deep breath.
STANFORD: FIRESIDE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND MAKE SOME NOISE FOR THE MAN OF THE HOUR! DON'T BE SAD, DON'T BE SOUR! CLAP YOUR HANDS AND TILT ONE FOR THE MAN WHO CAN DRINK OE AND PISS JD! THE PARTY LEGEND, THE ONE MAN REINVENTION, THE ONE, THE ONLY, VODKA...... FIIIIIIIIZZ!!
Vodka emerges, looking smug as ever as he makes his way down. He stops at ringside where a crew member fixes him with a microphone, and then climbs into the ring, apparently making sure to bump the mic whenever he can. Finally he pulls a stack of cards out of his pocket, ripping them in half and tossing them out through the ropes before he turns to the camera with a wide grin on his face.
VODKA: What up, what up, what up! Fireside! What is going on, folks?
Cheers erupt, and Vodka nods his head, looking pumped.
VODKA: Right on! Sounds like we got a live one for the first episode of Shoot the Fizz, with Vodka Fizz! Without further ado, I'd like to introduce my guest for the evening, ladies and gentlemen, your tag team partner and mine, the Credible Hulk, the Five Dollar Love Machine, the one man worth the price of admission, the obscure reference to a show about holographic rock stars from the 1980s, make some noise for the hardcore legend, JONNIE VALENTINE!!!
'What's Going On' by 4 Non Blondes start to play and Valentine jogs down to the ring, slapping fans hands, doing a full lap around the front row. He finds an old lady or geeky teen singing his theme song, and he sings along with them. He pulls on the top rope to vault inside the ring and does the double guns to the crowd. Him and Vodka participate in an overly elaborate handshake that ends with a hug, and a ring crew member hands Jonnie a mic.
JONNIE: Jesus, Voddy, this set is tight! Why didn't you tell me there was going to be a bartender?
Vodka looks confused for a moment, then turns his attention to the Bartender.
VODKA: Oh, you mean Nick? He's not the bartender, he's a guy I'm buying a jet ski from after the show.
JONNIE: Oh, for real? I always wanted a jet ski, but my wife, she says they're dangerous and that I'm too old to keep doing stupid stuff, and that nobody died from not doing a sweet backflip at the Santa Monica pier.
VODKA: I feel you, bro. Lets have a moment of silence for Jonnie's testicles: may they continue to thrive in their velvet prison, deep in the recesses of your wife's purse.
Vodka and Johnny laugh and the crowd cheers, until after a moment, Joonnie's eyebrows furrow.
JONNIE: Hey....
VODKA: Ahhh, sorry Jonnie, I'm told that it's time for a word from our fine sponsors.
The scene cuts back to the ring after the commercial, where Jonnie and Vodka are now seated at the bar. Jonnie had a class of ice and a can of Bud Lite sat in front of him, whereas Vodka has a line of shots set up in front of him on a flight tray with a bell hanging from it. The erstwhile host proceeds to down the shots one after another, then rings the bell when he's done. Nick, the not-bartender, lines up another tray of shots, but Vodka and Jonnie turn their attention to the camera.
VODKA: Great stuff that. Fascinating. Casper Mattresses are my favorite. Bright Cellars. 30 percent off with the promo code 'Uh sure.' Make sure you include the full stop.
JONNIE: The hell is a full stop?
VODKA: Apparently it's British for a period.
JONNIE: Huh.
The two are silent for a moment.
VODKA: Aaaaanyway, we're running low on time, we should probably get to it. So, Jonnie. As you no doubt recall, we recently experienced what I imagine for you was a devastating loss. After our incredible first showing as a team, in the Tables, Ladders, and Hammer match, we came up short, largely because the former president of the United States used his big fat ass to put me through a table.
JONNIE: Well, Voddy, I've been thinking about that-
Nick the Not-Bartender appears again, this time with what looks on first glance to be two large glasses of some kind of ungodly chartreuse colored concoction.
VODKA: Awesome, it's cocktail hour!
Vodka pulls a remote out of his pocket and hits a button. A neon sign that says 'Cocktail Hour' lights up, and pyro shoots from the four corners of the ring. Jonnie, for his part, looks confused and a little frightened.
JONNIE: What the heck is cocktail hour?
Vodka grins.
VODKA: I was hoping you'd ask, Jonnie. See, when I went and pitched this show, Caffrey loved the idea of me making a custom cocktail for my guests. So we went hard in the paint with this one. I call it 'The Hardcore Icon.'
Jonnie takes a drink of his cocktail and immediately has a violent, full-body cringe reaction.
JONNIE: Yeurgh! That tastes like the time Bruiser Brody threw me down a flight of stairs into a urinal trough and then stood on my head until I passed out!
Vodka takes a sip and, while his reaction is less violent than his partner's, he still almost falls out of his chair.
VODKA: WHOA! You can still really taste the chartreuse, even with all of the Jagermeister, mayonnaise, horse tranquilizers, and liquid smoke. God damn, it tastes like how a hookah bar smells after the rugs get wet. That is UNPLEASANT.
Vodka takes another drink of the cocktail, while Jonnie goggles at him.
VODKA: Well, Johnny, like we were talking about before, what do you think our next steps are as a team? I've heard tell that there's some talk about us on the XHF global stage, what do you think about that?
JONNIE: Like I said, Voddy, we should really-
VODKA: -And that's our time. Sorry Jonnie, kind of a mess tonight. Technical issues. But don't worry, we'll have you back on in the future, you've been great. Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for your time tonight. We've been great! See you next time!
'Giddy Up' starts to play again, and the camera pans around. Vodka continues to drink his disgusting drink and apparently ignore Jonnie, who looks pretty invested in the converation he's trying to have. The camera pans up to the 'Shoot The Fizz' sign before the camera cuts.
STANFORD: Ladies and Gentlemen, the foillowing contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing in tonight at 252 pounds, he is ‘BTK’, he is BUCKY ‘TITANIUM’ KNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTTTTT!
The crowd cheers as "Dead Man's Hand" by the Moonshine Bandits plays. He passes through the curtain to meet a cheering crowd, giving them a trademark “WELLL HOWWWWWWWWWWWW----------DDYYYYYYYYY” at the top of the ramp.
STANFORD: And his opponent, from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in tonight at 185 pounds, he is.... JOE NOBODYYYYY!!!!!
'This Time' by Depswa starts to play as Joe Nobody emerges from the curtains. The camera zooms into Nobody's face who smirks and adjusts his tie before making his way to the ring.
As makes it up two steps and stops before turning around to give a young fan his signature fedora. Joe rolls into the ring, taking his position across from Bucky. Nobody offers his hand to Knight, who takes it and shakes it.
WRIGHT: A far-too-rare show of sportsmanship from these two men, I have high hopes for a clean match tonight.
PARK: You really are just the human equivalent of watching paint dry, aren't you? God.
The referee calls for the bell and Knight and Nobody lock up. The two men start off with a test of strength, which it appears the much-larger Knight is going to win handily. He pushes Joe down toward the mat, but in an incredible show of will, nobody plants his foot and fights back, forcing himself back to an upright base. Just when it looks like the returning superstar might take the advantage, Knight drives a knee into Nobody's abdomen, lifting the 185-pound man up off the mat and breaking the two apart.
WRIGHT: Nice knee from Knight, Nobody certainly didn't see that coming.
PARK: Do you have any Red Bull in that satchel purse you carry around? I think I'm gonna pass out.
Knight continues to push his advantage, whipping nobody into the ropes and following up with a scoop slam. He goes for a pin, but Nobody kicks out before the ref can count one. Nobody scrambles away to get some distance between the two, heading for the corner. Knight runs in after Nobody, driving the smaller wrestler into the corner, then whipping him into the opposite corner.
WRIGHT: Knight is wasting no time trying to put the returning Joe Nobody away.
Knight runs in after nobody, but Joe counters with a springboard dropkick. This time Joe is quick to push his advantage, locking Knight into a full nelson and suplexing Knight into the turnbuckles.
PARK: Oooh, I felt that one.
WRIGHT: A suplex into the corner might be the opportunity Joe Nobody needs to conquer this mighty Knight.
Nobody hauls up Knight again, suplexing Knight into the corner again. This time he holds on to Bucky, swivelling his hips and straining to lift the bigger man again and slam him head first into the turnbuckles again.
WRIGHT: Nobody is merciless tonight!
PARK: You know, I bet Bucky Knight is regretting the fact that he let Joe hit that kick.
Nobody gets up to his feet again, panting. Bucky uses the ropes to pull himself up, finding it hard to get his footing. Nobody continues to push his advantage, running in to stop the bigger Knight cold with a shining wizard. He hauls Bucky up and lifts him up onto the turnbuckle post.
WRIGHT: I'm not sure we've ever seen Joe Nobody put someone up top before.
PARK: Time will tell if this was a good choice or a bad one.
Nobody looks to be using the turnbuckle to give himself more leverage for the Victory Buster, but Bucky stops him cold with several sharp kicks to the abdomen. He hooks Nobody up for a DDT and then leaps off the turnbuckle, but in a spectacular showing of awareness, Joe plants his leg and stops Knight's momentum, reversing the move into a brutally beautiful STO.
WRIGHT: DENIAL OF PERFECTION!
PARK: Night night, Bucky Knight.
Joe scrambles for the cover!
REF: ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!!
THREE!!!!!!
The ref calls for the bell, and Joe Nobody raises his hand in victory as he stares down at his fallen opponent.
WRIGHT: What an incredible first night back for Joe Nobody!
PARK: If he keeps up like that, Nobody's going to be in the title hunt very, very soon, and it would be hard to argue that he didn't deserve it.
Stanford: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for One Fall, and it is a Grudge Match! Introducing first, hailing from New York, New York, weighing in at 225 pounds, he is JOOOHNNNNY FIIIIIVEEEE!
"HERE'S JOHNNY!!!"
'I Got 5 On It' hits the speakers and Johnny Five makes his way out, grinning and flexing his not inconsiderable muscles. He heads down the ramp and rolls into the ring, clambering up onto the turnbuckles and continuing to pose for the audience, gleefully pointing at and giving thumbs up to anyone cheering for him -- admittedly not many people. Walking directly behind him is none other than the Self Made God himself, Misha Constantine.
Wright: You get the feeling sometimes that Johnny Five means well, but maybe it wasn’t the best idea for him to get involved with MYOJIN at Fuel for the Fire.
Park: He jumped the man with a chair, Oliver. Anything that happens to Misha’s personal bodyguard tonight is his own fault.
Wright: Maybe not the wisest move, but Five has shown he’s capable in the ring as well. This is a team that has an XHF Tag Team Championship shot in the future, after all.
Park: But tonight he’s mostly on his own.
Stanford: And his opponent, coming to us from sunny San Diego, California, weighing in at 165 pounds, she is MYOOOOOOOJIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!
Are you ready?
The lights dim down while the catchy, fast paced rock of RAINBOWS by A9 echoes as a spotlight suddenly appears on a figure on the ramp, with his back turned and begins kneeling. Once the beat finally kicks in, MYOJIN explodes with energy- wearing a masquerade-style mask over her eyes, and turns around with a confident smile on her face, raising her arms to soak in the positive reaction from everyone around.
With her blonde locks hanging over his face. She then whips her head back, flipping her hair out of her face before excitedly running down the ring before performing a cartwheel and a jump, landing on her feet near ringside!
Wright: The former XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion is back full-time in FIRESIDE after a hard-fought 100 day reign, and tonight she looks to settle a score with half of his welcome wagon.
Park: Not so welcoming for the genderfluid wrestler who went to war against multiple companies. She should be getting a world championship match, and instead she got a chair to the back. That’s no way to treat a champion.
She climbs up to the apron, grabs a hold of the top rope, and slingshots himself into the ring. MYOJIN performs a somersault roll, landing on her side with a hand on her hip. The other, taking off her mask to reveal her piercing blue eye contacts. She tosses it aside nonchalantly before climbing up the top turnbuckle, tilting his head upward as if she’s looking toward the sky- while the lights mimic stars above. She backflips off, back onto his feet while taking off his flamboyant coat and moving to her corner. The lights go back to normal as she checks her wrist tape. Her charismatic smile fading to a more focused expression as she paces back and forth, ready for action.
Wright: I think MYOJIN feels the same way, and behind that smile you have a warrior looking to get even tonight.
Park: I’d hate to be Five tonight, but again, Five usually shows us more than we think he’s capable of. There’s the bell, this one’s underway.
MYOJIN charges forward and immediately delivers a step-up enziguri, the force of which immediately brings Johnny Five down to the mat with a hard thud! MYOJIN uses the ropes to boot Five towards the ring apron, trying to literally kick her opponent out of the ring and to the floor, but the heavier Five will not go quietly, hugging the ropes until the referee intervenes and makes MYOJIN stop trying to kick him into pieces. MYOJIN respects the rules and so she backs off, allowing Five to get a moment to breathe and put his train of thought back on the tracks.
MYOJIN comes forward again with an increased pace, but this time, Five grabs her and projects her upwards, dropping her throat first onto the top rope! The crowd boos as the former XHF Junior Heavyweight champion goes down and Five raises an arm, taking a few moments to gloat.
Wright: As the song goes, now the rope has MYOJIN on it!
Park: Oliver. No.
Wright: …sorry. But that kind of move has to hurt your throat.
Park: Oh, it can easily crush a windpipe and render you unable to speak and carry on in a match like this. It’s a smart move from a kid being mentored by a former world champion, that’s for sure.
Johnny Five is out to prove himself as he gives his opponent no time to recover, concentrating on cutting off her air supply by stomping down directly on her throat! MYOJIN immediately gasps for air as the New Yorker follows up with a standard chinlock, doing his best to keep MYOJIN grounded.
Wright: Now working that throat and trying to cut off the air supply, Five is learning in leaps and bounds! I’m impressed by their early control here!
Park: But can they sustain their offense?
Johnny Five continues to try to make breathing a difficult task for his opponent, cutting her off from the ring ropes as well by dragging the smaller wrestler towards the center of the ring before reapplying the hold. MYOJIN reaches out towards the ropes to potentially find freedom, but there’s no luck there. She bangs her foot on the mat, and at first you might think it’d be out of frustration, but then you realize as the Philadelphia fans start getting into the proceedings, she’s trying to will them into clapping and cheering. Slowly but surely, the arena comes alive as she works her way back up to her feet, firing away with shoulders to Five’s gut in an attempt to free herself. She finally manages to do so and bounces off the ropes, only to be met with a leaping clothesline that sends her up and over, crashing down to the floor!
Wright: Leaping Clothesline! I had a feeling we were about to see a rally going the other way, but Five cuts off any hope these fans had!
Park: The longer this goes, the more you have to believe that Five might really have MYOJIN’s number. We saw it with Mistress disposing of Lancaster and Joe Nobody pushing through Bucky Knight, what a statement it would be to have such a dominating performance!
The crowd continues to use their American right to express their disapproval as Johnny Five steps through the ropes and to the outside of the ring, doing his best to ignore them and the count coming from the referee.
...ONE!
Five looks over at the steel steps, grabbing one of the steps and freeing it from its bottom half. He sets it up on the floor just in front of MYOJIN, clearly a man with evil intentions here.
...TWO!
Wright: What’s Five got in mind?
Park: Whatever it is, you know damn well it will hurt!
...THREE!
Johnny Five picks up MYOJIN and then lifts her up onto his shoulders. He repositions her for a spinebuster, but at the last possible moment, MYOJIN counters, sliding out of his grasp and using the steps for extra height for a dropsault! She barely clears the steps, but she does finally get reprieve from Five’s assault!
...FOUR!
Wright: Two more inches in either direction and MYOJIN could have been in a world of pain there, but she does manage to stop Five in his tracks!
Park: Will she be able to build on this?
...FIVE!
The referee’s count has already gotten up to five. MYOJIN looks up at her before deciding that she should start heading back to the ring, but Misha Constantine runs interference, making his presence known and distracting MYOJIN from getting back in the ring.
...SIX!
Wright: The count’s rising! These do not like each other!
Park: MYOJIN needs to focus on the task at hand and not get derailed here!
...SEVEN!
Johnny Five sneaks up from behind with a dropkick of his own, dropkicking MYOJIN into the ring apron! She smacks it against it and falls over as Misha backs away with his hands up, claiming to be innocent!
...EIGHT!
Wright: Damnit! Five takes advantage of the distraction to strike MYOJIN from behind!
Park: He shows reluctance to do these sorts of things, but he seems to always do them when it’s convenient!
Five climbs back into the ring! The crowd is on their feet as it looks like MYOJIN might be counted out!
...NINE!
Wright: The count’s at nine! Is Five about to score the biggest win of his career by countout?
Park: I have a feeling these fans will NOT be happy if that’s the case!
MYOJIN pulls herself back up with the assistance of the apron! She goes to climb back up, and manages to dodge the grasp of Misha Constantine trying to keep her held up on the outside, barely beating the count!
Wright: By mere milliseconds, MYOJIN’s back in this match!
Park: That was close!
Johnny Five charges forward and jumps for a stinger splash against the ropes, but MYOJIN pulls the ropes down, sending Five crashing to the floor in front of Misha!
Wright: If that happens to Misha at the Rumble on the 25th, he’d be eliminated from the match!
Park: I can’t help but notice he didn’t really do much to catch or cushion Five’s fall, there!
MYOJIN wastes no effort in bouncing off the opposite ropes and moving towards his opponents, jumping up to the top rope and delivering a spaceman moonsault to both Fox and Constantine on the outside! The crowd roars as she gets back to her feet and celebrates!
Wright: A wild moonsault from the Shooting Star!
Park: She’s gotta get him back in the ring, but a big move indeed!
Wright: Constantine’s down too!
She grabs Johnny Five and rolls him into the ring, then looks to catch his leg and lock him in the Orion, but a still dazed Five manages to dodge backward and keep himself from having the submission applied!
Wright: The Orion-- no! We’ve seen that before, if MYOJIN applies it, it’s usually game over!
Park: I don’t even know if Five knows where he is after that moonsault!
MYOJIN grabs the dazed wrestler by the head instead, twisting backward before backflipping over him and sending his head and neck crashing into the mat! She covers!
Wright: Flashing Lights! This could be it!
Park: The cover and the count!
...ONE!
...TWO!
Misha Constantine jumps up on the apron, distracting referee Melissa Davenport!
Wright: Hey! Get down from there!
Park: Davenport’s a newer referee, but she’s doing the right thing in making sure Misha stays out of this match!
Wright: That would have been three without his interference!
MYOJIN angrily breaks the pinfall and goes to confront Misha, but he’s already down and off the apron by the time the Shooting Star has more words for him. Five is back to his feet as the two rivals jaw at one another, but this time he seems to be patiently waiting for MYOJIN to turn around.
Wright: Don’t turn around, MYOJIN -- you might not like the view!
Park: Five’s not immediately jumping on this opportunity!
MYOJIN does eventually turn around, only to be immediately lifted onto Five’s shoulders for a burning hammer!
Wright: Fuck Yo Ne--
But MYOJIN counters, sliding out of the hammer and immediately grabbing the leg, spinning through into the Orion!
Wright: Orion! Orion! This hold has tapped out world champions on MYOJIN’s XHF Junior Heavyweight tour!
Park: It looks like the vicious ankle lock is about to claim another!
Five tries to hang on long enough for Misha to distract the referee, but like others before him, he’s forced to tap out! The referee calls for the bell!
Stanford: Here is your winner, MYYYYOOOOOOOOOJIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!
MYOJIN releases the hold as the crowd comes to life, cheering for her victory. She eyes up Misha Constantine, trying to goad her into the ring even though she’s just had an exhausting match.
Wright: MYOJIN with an impressive comeback against a very game Johnny Five, but she immediately wants Misha now too!
Park: If she’s smart, she’d realize what a giant mistake it would be to step in the ring with the former world champion!
Constantine has no interest in fighting the Shooting Star tonight, much to the crowd’s chagrin. He pulls Five out by his shoulders and rights the ship, not saying anything but voicing his anger through his looks towards his bodyguard. MYOJIN calls after them as they walk up the ramp, clearing wanting her revenge on the other half of Five and Divine as well.
Wright: This isn’t over between these competitors!
Park: I’m sure MYOJIN might regret barking up the wrong tree here!
Stanford: The following match is scheduled for One Fall, and it is for the FIRESIDE World Championship! Both Gebin and Daku Suzuki’s motorcycle have been banned from ringside for this match!
The crowd roars!
Wright: Main event time, and something a little different tonight as both Suzuki’s motorcycle and Gebin have been banned from ringside.
Park: One half of the Nihilists has had a hand in the past in helping Esmur move forward in his career, and Daku Suzuki basically used the motorcycle almost like a tag team partner to defeat Jason Long at Fuel for the Fire.
Wright: We’ll see what he does on his own.
Rio Grande by Mezcaleros plays over the sound system as you hear the revs of the motorcycle as you see Daku park his motorcycle backstage. His jacket as blue and black colours with his motorcycle club, The Cutting Blades name with a spider with knives all over it as he passes through the curtain to loud booing from the crowd. Daku does his typical knife cut symbol with the fans continue booing him.
Stanford: Introducing first, from Hamamatsu, Japan, weighing in at 245 pounds, he is the KNIFE OF MOTORCYCLES, he is DAAAAKUUUU SUUUUZUUUUUUUKIIIII!!!!!
Daku slides into the ring and closes his eyes to show his necklace of a knife and a motorcycle on it and does his cutthroat signal before spreading his arms. Daku then opens his eyes and takes off his necklace and drops it on the floor as Daku holds onto the ropes, looking at the entranceway, waiting for his opponent to come out of the ramp.
Wright: Daku Suzuki earned this title match by defeating Deco way back in January at Supremacy. He’s waited patiently, month after month, for his moment to shine, and tonight could be a big one for the motorcycle club owner. You can see some nerves, but he certainly has the pedigree to pull this one off.
Park: A huge win over a former X-Crown champion, a win on a global PPV, another win at Fuel for the Fire, besides a few minor bumps in the road, Daku Suzuki has ridden his way to the top of the mountain to take on the Nihilist seated at the top. I would say he might shock the world tonight, but if the world is shocked by a Suzuki victory, they clearly haven’t been paying much attention.
The arena dims down to pitch blackness. Two male voices are heard saying, “EMBRACE … ETERNITY” The new video package for the reborn Nihilists plays on the XtremeTron. "Saviour of Nothing" by Disturbed begins to play and a single light brown spotlight illuminates the stage. On the stage stands Gebin, hair flowing, wearing his light up Covid Mask and illuminated battle gloves. He raises his hands and the columns of LED light illuminate the stage in purple. Stepping into the brown spotlight walks Esmur complete with his luchador mask. He steps up and stares into the ring before looking out at the Fireside faithful. He is wearing a robe that is adorned with religious iconography from pretty much every religion, the symbols are all drawn on fire for emphasis. He pulls his robe off into his arms and tosses it at his feet as a column of red light illuminates it. This reveals his Fireside World Championship which he pats as he begins to move.
Stanford: And his opponent, from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing in at 205 pounds, he is the FIRESIDE World Champion, he is EESSSSSSSSMUUUUUUR!
Finally he pulls off his mask revealing his face and his trim brown hair and goatee. Gebin disappears to the back after the team fist bump in solidarity. Esmur rolls into the center of the ring and the spotlight illuminates his tights which are long and dirt brown. On the right leg is the Fireside name and a flame decal. On the left leg down the side reads Embrace and Eternity in two columns. His name adorns the seat of the pants. The song and lights fade back to normal as he hands the timekeeper his Fireside World Championship title.
Wright: Esmur has been a formidable world champion with victories over Misha Constantine and Otto Ritter. Now comes a formidable test in the form of Daku Suzuki; but the big question is: is Esmur overlooking the motorcycle club specialist?
Park: I would say so, 100%. Esmur’s talked so much about the history of the championship and what he wants to do for it, and then he’s been looking ahead to fighting potentially MYOJIN, or even MAJESTY. Daku, on the other hand, has his eye on the prize, ripping him for seemingly abandoning Gebin to focus on his singles career.
Wright: With no Gebin or bike in sight, this one should be a heck of a main event! There’s the bell, here we go! The FIRESIDE World championship is on the line!
The bell rings and Esmur walks forward towards his opponent, only to have his head clutched by Daku Suzuki! The bigger and heavier champion lifts Esmur up and drops him straight on his head with an iron claw slam! The crowd boos loudly!
Wright: Whoah!! Right out of the gate, Throttle Cutter Slam! This might be it right here!
Park: No way!!! No way!!! Is this the end of the Era of Eternity?
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR-NO!
...Esmur gets his foot on the bottom rope! The crowd explodes!
Wright: Oh man, I thought it was over right out the gate! Another split second from referee Chris Mardinly and we would’ve seen a new world champion before any of us knew what hit us!
Park: Meanwhile, the current champion has to be reeling, this is not what he expected at all coming into this one! You can see the adrenaline pumping through the challenger, he caught the champion off guard and he’s so close to capturing the big one!
Wright: I don’t know if Esmur could continue to show his unmasked face around here if he lost that fast like that!
The crowd is on their feet, knowing they’re getting a different kind of match as Daku Suzuki screams and pleads for the FIRESIDE world champion to get back to his feet. It’s pretty clear that Esmur might not even know where he is right now as he crawls around the mat, dazed and honestly a bit lost with no one to guide him but the fans. The fans are screaming at him not to turn around, but he slowly rises back up in the corner, right into the grasp of the challenger, who catches him and prepares him for a reverse swinging STO!
Wright: Daku’s got him for the Knife Cutter! If he hits this, if he plants the champion right here, it’s all over!
Park: He’s going for it!
Daku goes to swing, but Esmur slides out behind him, jumping up and dropping his opponent with the Fade Out!
Wright: Fade Out! Fade Out! Out of pure instinct alone, the champion strikes back!
Park: Will the Era of Eternity continue?
...ONE!
...Daku Suzuki kicks out! The crowd goes wild again!
Wright: ONE?! Are you kidding me? The Fade Out got a one count!
Park: Daku Is a strong-willed man, this is the biggest chance of his life! Think about the money, the power, the prestige to his motorcycle club! He’s going to fire off everything he has here!
Wright: I don’t even know if Esmur’s on the same planet as us right now after that hellacious bump from the Throat Cutter Slam!
The FIRESIDE world champion is in a state of confusion and disbelief as he shakes his head, quickly becoming aware that this may not be his night after all. He tries to take fate back into his own hands before Suzuki can even get up, fighting the bigger man down on the mat where all wrestlers are the same size. He sloppily locks on a koji clutch to keep the man grounded.
Wright: Sensory Deprivation! Esmur may be running on fumes here but he’s got enough left in the tank to lock on this modified koji clutch!
Park: Suzuki’s right by the ropes though! I don’t think he’s going to be able to keep this hold applied for long!
Before Suzuki can have his arm raised by referee Chris Mardinly, the technical brawler reaches out and grabs the bottom rope with force! The referee counts to get the hold broken!
...ONE!
Esmur doesn’t let go!
...TWO!
Daku Suzuki screams out in pain but Esmur won’t let up!
...THREE!
Esmur finally breaks the hold as the crowd cheers the champion clawing his way back into the match!
Wright: This is a straight-up war between these two men! Hit the other guy with your best shot or go home!
Park: I don’t know who this type of match favors, but I honestly don’t think it’s the champion! The champion won the title in a half hour long Workhorse Match, meanwhile Daku has wrestled matches closer to the sprint this has turned into!
Wright: The champion’s looking to put this marathon session across the finish line though, you can see he wants Clarity! He plants this kick, it’s all over!
The crowd is still on their feet, chanting “ES-MUR! ES-MUR!” as they wait in unison for the challenger to join them in the upright position. The crowd is feeling it, they know that this kick could change their champion’s luck. Meanwhile, Daku Suzuki is certainly feeling it too, he coughs and you can see a few drops of blood as he tries to regain his breath from being caught in the champion’s death grip. He turns around…
...and eats the Clarity! Daku Suzuki goes down! The crowd has reached their peak! Esmur goes for the cover! The fans count along!
Wright: CLARITY! CLARITY! This one’s over!
Park: The cover and the count!
...ONE!
...TWO!
....THRE-
...Daku Suzuki gets a shoulder up! The crowd goes wild again!
Wright: Three! This match is--
Park: ---no it’s not! The referee is indicating that was just two!
Esmur can’t believe it-- and then he’s locked in a rear naked choke!
Wright: That was-- KNIFE CHOKE! KNIFE CHOKE!
Park: Goodnight Esmur! We haven’t seen anyone get out of this hold yet since Daku Suzuki’s joined the roster!
Wright: I can’t believe this! Is the world championship about to change hands on a choke out?
Esmur’s eyes have gone completely wide as the challenger screams at him in Japanese to tap! The camera captures the bloody jaw of the challenger as Esmur’s kick nailed him clean in the ja! Esmur reaches out towards the ropes but he’s just a finger tip away and can’t quite get there as the blood continues to flow from Suzuki! The crowd sounds like a shouting pit of madness as they all shout at the champion to hold on and not tap, but it doesn’t look like the Nihilist has much of a choice as Daku Suzuki asks for the referee to check his arm!
Wright: Daku Suzuki is three arm drops away from becoming world champion! He severely disrespected the champion, and with the way he’s handled him tonight, he’s certainly put himself on the map!
Park: Is this about to be X marks the spot though? The champion doesn’t have much left!
The referee grabs Esmur’s arm and raises it! It drops!
...ONE!
Esmur is in a bad state, fighting to get his hand underneath the champion’s arms and buy himself some air, but he doesn’t have much left and it’s clearly not happening. The referee raises his arm once more. It drops again!
...TWO!
Wright: We’re about to ride into a new era, ladies and gentlemen! I can’t believe this, but the champion is on his last breath!
Park: Daku Suzuki is about to become a made man if Esmur’s arm drops one more time! Can it happen? Will it happen? We’re about to find out!
Esmur isn’t moving! The crowd is screaming and now booing at the top of their lungs but Suzuki has the hold fully applied! The referee raises the arm!
Wright: Can it be?
It drops!
Park: Oh my God--
...THR-!
Onto the bottom rope! Esmur’s fingers curl, indicating his consciousness! The referee stops the timekeeper from ringing the bell, indicating that the match is still going!
Wright: What the-- oh-- Esmur by a finger keeps himself alive in this match!
Park: Daku is screaming at referee Chris Mardinly, and I don’t blame him! He should be champion right now! We should be entering the Age of Motorcycles!
Wright: Love it or hate it, this match is still going!
Daku Suzuki pounds into the mat with tremendous force, furious that Esmur’s still in this match. Referee Chris Mardinly shakes his head, indicating the rope as the challenger can’t believe his luck. Eventually, Suzuki leans back into the corner, preparing for one last ride, preparing to hit the sweeping STO to capture the championship of his dreams. The bottom half of his face is a bloody mess, with him spitting blood from vicious Clarity he had been planted with earlier in the match. He shakes his head again, waiting patiently for the champion to get back up. The crowd screams, practically begging Esmur not to turn around as he does get up. The urgent challenger is impatient, ripping the champion into position.
Wright: My heart can’t take this! I can’t watch!
Park: Knife Cutter incoming!
Daku goes to swing, but the champion drops, rolling up the challenger!
Wright: Roll up! Roll up!
Park: I don’t know if Daku saw it coming!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Daku kicks out, but Esmur rolls right through, planting him back to the mat with another Clarity!
Wright: A second Clarity! That must be it!
Park: Esmur got him! I think he really got him! The crowd is screaming for it!
The referee counts!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!!!
Wright: Is it over? It’s over! Dear God, it’s over!
Park: My heart is pumping out of my chest and I’m not even in this match!
Stanford: Here is your winner, and STILL the FIRESIDE World Champion, ESSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMUUUUUUURRRRRRR!
An exhausted Esmur is left kneeling on the mat after a hellacious contest with Daku Suzuki. Suzuki is flat-out not moving, the kick having knocked him out. Medical staff comes down to check on him as fireworks go off in doors.
Wright: Ladies and gentlemen, I wasn’t expecting a balls-to-the-wall sprint between these two, but what a match we got! I think a lot of us are still clutching ourselves hoping to catch our breath!
Park: I know we’re all celebrating our champion, but I think the challenger has a valid complaint! He should have been champion when that hand dropped for three!
Wright: That’s a complaint for a different day, UnJoo! We’re out of time tonight, thanks for watching! My name is Oliver Wright, we won’t be seeing you, but tune into the Rumble live on April 25th!
The final shot is the tired champion standing on the top rope. He looks back at the challenger and shakes his head, clearly feeling disrespected, before turning back to look at the cheering fans, raising the belt high as the night comes to a close.