Post by The Colossus on May 4, 2021 20:24:48 GMT -5
[The NPW Banner has been hung, and the podium has been assembled on a stage, with the obligatory tables to either side, which have various officials and the like from NPW lining them, closest to the podium is seated Gus Arnold.]
[Gus stands up and shuffles to the podium.]
Arnold:
In kicking off our Summer Tour of the Maritimes, I would like to introduce a man who has been mostly inconspicuous in terms of these events.
He is the manager of The Colossus,
Walter Whezl!
[Gus turns and gestures to the curtained entrance, where Walter Whezl does not step out from behind. Instead a fully battle clad Colossus steps out, wearing his studded leather mask and cowl, leather vest with studs on the shoulders and armbands straight from vintage black metal with a porcupine quill number of nails sticking out.
This causes the assembled Press to noticeably take a step back. He moves quickly to the left of the podium.
Whezl follows, iron faced, in an immaculate grey suit. Wearing his usual cap. Whezl surveys the assembled crowd, pulls out some prepared cue cards, and there is an audible groan from the assemblage as his eyebrow raises.]
Whezl:
I can assume you thought this was going to be open season to question me on the minor particulars of the day. Perhaps you over there, considered asking me further about new signings, none of which were unsurprising. And you over there thought to confer with me as though we shared even an iota of the same mental space about the events surrounding the Openweight Tournament? And you wanted to reflect no doubt on the Double Crown Champion who despite being the face of this company can’t seem to be bothered to do anything particularly worthy of the crown or position he has?
[Whezl gestured loosely around the room at various reporters, earning some downcast glances.]
Whezl:
No doubt, you will be able to wrangle up some of those characters yourself, and ask them the questions you and them so very much need to expound on the points of the day. I myself and The Colossus stand against the day.
If it is entirely okay with everyone assembled, I would like to continue.
[Whezl barely pauses]
Whezl:
I wanted everyone to know that I have provided Ethan Mills with every available opportunity to reduce his hardship in finding a path from the strip club and cardboard box wonderland he and Joe Ghaven inhabit.
I have at my own expense put them up in a Hostel that surely would feel like sumptuous luxury to this degenerate and his companion.
I provided travel to this once and future urchin, and while he tried to take every liberty, Ethan Mills once again misses the basic point, the caviar he ate, I own the company that produces it. The Plane is under my employ. The Stewardess who under some duress maintained her professionalism until the very last, is in my employ.
Ethan Mills, and Joe Ghaven?
I have purchased them. Ethan Mills is not clever enough to connect the points, so I make them obvious now. I have purchased him and his man through flight, room and board. I have purchased them for a very specific exercise.
[Whezl scans the see of tape recorders and cell phones aimed at him, ignoring the flash photography]
Whezl:
I have made it clear that this is not a match that Joe Ghaven or Ethan Mills have any say in. I reiterate now that they aren’t even being led to slaughter, they are simply meat.
To be processed.
In Halifax, you will witness Joe Ghaven being processed by The Colossus. If Joe Ghaven was above the debased embarrassment that is the entirety of his career, he would take my offer of being a menial laborer in my employ.
However, As Gaz Mayberry made painfully clear at the last NPW event, foresight and critical thinking are at a premium in this “institution”.
Joe Ghaven will be an exercise, and afterward, Ethan Mill being stripped of all excuses will be able to try and hop a freight train back to the pigsty he crawled out of.
Thank you, that is all. No questions.
[Whezl exits first, followed by the Colossus.]
[Gus stands up and shuffles to the podium.]
Arnold:
In kicking off our Summer Tour of the Maritimes, I would like to introduce a man who has been mostly inconspicuous in terms of these events.
He is the manager of The Colossus,
Walter Whezl!
[Gus turns and gestures to the curtained entrance, where Walter Whezl does not step out from behind. Instead a fully battle clad Colossus steps out, wearing his studded leather mask and cowl, leather vest with studs on the shoulders and armbands straight from vintage black metal with a porcupine quill number of nails sticking out.
This causes the assembled Press to noticeably take a step back. He moves quickly to the left of the podium.
Whezl follows, iron faced, in an immaculate grey suit. Wearing his usual cap. Whezl surveys the assembled crowd, pulls out some prepared cue cards, and there is an audible groan from the assemblage as his eyebrow raises.]
Whezl:
I can assume you thought this was going to be open season to question me on the minor particulars of the day. Perhaps you over there, considered asking me further about new signings, none of which were unsurprising. And you over there thought to confer with me as though we shared even an iota of the same mental space about the events surrounding the Openweight Tournament? And you wanted to reflect no doubt on the Double Crown Champion who despite being the face of this company can’t seem to be bothered to do anything particularly worthy of the crown or position he has?
[Whezl gestured loosely around the room at various reporters, earning some downcast glances.]
Whezl:
No doubt, you will be able to wrangle up some of those characters yourself, and ask them the questions you and them so very much need to expound on the points of the day. I myself and The Colossus stand against the day.
If it is entirely okay with everyone assembled, I would like to continue.
[Whezl barely pauses]
Whezl:
I wanted everyone to know that I have provided Ethan Mills with every available opportunity to reduce his hardship in finding a path from the strip club and cardboard box wonderland he and Joe Ghaven inhabit.
I have at my own expense put them up in a Hostel that surely would feel like sumptuous luxury to this degenerate and his companion.
I provided travel to this once and future urchin, and while he tried to take every liberty, Ethan Mills once again misses the basic point, the caviar he ate, I own the company that produces it. The Plane is under my employ. The Stewardess who under some duress maintained her professionalism until the very last, is in my employ.
Ethan Mills, and Joe Ghaven?
I have purchased them. Ethan Mills is not clever enough to connect the points, so I make them obvious now. I have purchased him and his man through flight, room and board. I have purchased them for a very specific exercise.
[Whezl scans the see of tape recorders and cell phones aimed at him, ignoring the flash photography]
Whezl:
I have made it clear that this is not a match that Joe Ghaven or Ethan Mills have any say in. I reiterate now that they aren’t even being led to slaughter, they are simply meat.
To be processed.
In Halifax, you will witness Joe Ghaven being processed by The Colossus. If Joe Ghaven was above the debased embarrassment that is the entirety of his career, he would take my offer of being a menial laborer in my employ.
However, As Gaz Mayberry made painfully clear at the last NPW event, foresight and critical thinking are at a premium in this “institution”.
Joe Ghaven will be an exercise, and afterward, Ethan Mill being stripped of all excuses will be able to try and hop a freight train back to the pigsty he crawled out of.
Thank you, that is all. No questions.
[Whezl exits first, followed by the Colossus.]