[New UTs] On location interviews and burnt eggs
May 9, 2021 22:44:13 GMT -5
Oh-Oh and Jesse Jamester like this
Post by Old Line Jeff on May 9, 2021 22:44:13 GMT -5
Being such a straightforward promotion, NPW didn’t happen to have a dedicated interviewer personality, and Gus Arnold was far too busy for such frivolties. Jeff Andrews, even were he not still incommunicado in Baltimore, didn’t have any connections in the Vancouver area, nor did Cole Christenson.
Luckily, Cole Christenson had money.
Cole hired a local radio personality named Brent Laurier. Laurier generally covered college sports, but unlike a lot of fans of “real” sports he enjoyed pro wrestling as well. He gave Brent a simple assignment - get something, anything, from Lee Scott Rothlesberger.
So, Brent showed up at the door of the apartment the New Untouchables were renting early in the morning. It was Jeffrey Daniels who opened the door.
“Lee’s not up yet bro, but his room’s on the right. I’d introduce you guys but I’m cooking eggs, they’ll burn.”
LSR had apparently been awakened by the commotion. His long hair in a fuzzy mess around his head, his eyes still blurry, he was pulling on his baggy 90’s cargo pants.
“My bad bud, my bad, I forgot I was doing an interview.” He pulled a T-shirt on over his head, backwards, then sighed and turned it around without taking it off.
Trying to get a good setup, LSR sat on the couch. The effect was ruined because the kitchen was behind the couch, and in answering the door Daniels had, in fact, burned the eggs. Daniels muttered words that probably would’ve gotten this footage thrown off the network if they’d been loud enough to be heard as he threw the smoking skillet in the sink. Brent, who had seen the trainwreck that was Daniels’ AWF debut promo, just sighed and rolled with it.
“So before we get started with this weeks’ stuff, what happened with Kono?”
“I was sick in the lead up.” LSR shrugged. “I didn’t have time to call off, I needed the paycheck and I thought I was recovered enough to hang, but you know, running at 90 out of 100 might not seem like a big number but it really is. There is nothing worse than losing a match that you know you could’ve won because your body just isn’t in shape and it ignores the orders you give it.”
Brent nodded. “I was told coming in that you were the ‘sensible’ one.”
“I don’t know about that. Jeffrey likes to keep things sunny, but ever since the Big Jeff left him in charge, he’s been taking things seriously.”
In the background, Jeffrey does not appear serious. He attempts to crack an egg in one hand, pulverizes it instead. With a curse edited out in post-production he trudges to the sink to wash the slimy mess off his hands.
“So, why exactly did you guys step in with the Colossus and Gaz Maybury?”
“Well there’s a couple reasons. Back when Dane was still around, he sicced Colossus and the Aurochs on us. Not sure whatever happened to the Aurochs. Gus Arnold and Jeff Andrews both agreed that the Syndicate was out of our league for the time being, then the Dark Stars started their crap, and well, Eric Dane lost a title and immediately quit, so so much for getting revenge on The Syndicate, right?”
“No, Jesse Jamester’s in charge of it now.” Jeffrey said without turning around, now scrubbing the skillet with a brick of steel wool. “Bro we’re out of eggs, you wanna just do a cheat meal and get some donuts?”
“Dude, if we’re gonna eat irresponsibly let’s just hit up Nero Waffles. Anyways, man, you know we grew up watching OLW and were fans of Gaz, and I mean, we weren’t watching live during IWA’s time but we went back and watched the glory days of the Beer Buddies, but saving Gaz was just the right thing to do man. Also, for the Colossus himself, we haven’t forgotten him powerbombing Jeffrey through the catering table.”
“All I wanted was some cheddar cuuuubes!” Jeffrey howled in fake histronics.
“Do you guys want to talk about your strategy for the upcoming match?”
“To be honest bro, we uh, don’t wanna give away anything, but I’ll throw you this one biscuit. Whether you’re talking about the sophisticated grappling arts or the flippity-doo, taking it seriously and gittin’ gud matters. We’re just gonna do what we do as best we can do it, y’know?”
“Last thing then, any final words?”
“Since ElVeeZee hasn’t said anything yet, none for him. As for Joseph Mack, hey man, we’re pro wrestlers, I get it, we’ll kick each other’s asses because that’s what pro wrestling freakin IS. I don’t want to go on a losing streak any more than you do though, and I got a full time tag partner I don’t want to take down with me.”
“And now, WAFFLES!” Jeffrey Daniels was happy again. “You wanna come with bromandude?”
And in Brent’s estimation, a 5 minute interview that resulted in free waffles was an excellent start to a day.
Luckily, Cole Christenson had money.
Cole hired a local radio personality named Brent Laurier. Laurier generally covered college sports, but unlike a lot of fans of “real” sports he enjoyed pro wrestling as well. He gave Brent a simple assignment - get something, anything, from Lee Scott Rothlesberger.
So, Brent showed up at the door of the apartment the New Untouchables were renting early in the morning. It was Jeffrey Daniels who opened the door.
“Lee’s not up yet bro, but his room’s on the right. I’d introduce you guys but I’m cooking eggs, they’ll burn.”
LSR had apparently been awakened by the commotion. His long hair in a fuzzy mess around his head, his eyes still blurry, he was pulling on his baggy 90’s cargo pants.
“My bad bud, my bad, I forgot I was doing an interview.” He pulled a T-shirt on over his head, backwards, then sighed and turned it around without taking it off.
Trying to get a good setup, LSR sat on the couch. The effect was ruined because the kitchen was behind the couch, and in answering the door Daniels had, in fact, burned the eggs. Daniels muttered words that probably would’ve gotten this footage thrown off the network if they’d been loud enough to be heard as he threw the smoking skillet in the sink. Brent, who had seen the trainwreck that was Daniels’ AWF debut promo, just sighed and rolled with it.
“So before we get started with this weeks’ stuff, what happened with Kono?”
“I was sick in the lead up.” LSR shrugged. “I didn’t have time to call off, I needed the paycheck and I thought I was recovered enough to hang, but you know, running at 90 out of 100 might not seem like a big number but it really is. There is nothing worse than losing a match that you know you could’ve won because your body just isn’t in shape and it ignores the orders you give it.”
Brent nodded. “I was told coming in that you were the ‘sensible’ one.”
“I don’t know about that. Jeffrey likes to keep things sunny, but ever since the Big Jeff left him in charge, he’s been taking things seriously.”
In the background, Jeffrey does not appear serious. He attempts to crack an egg in one hand, pulverizes it instead. With a curse edited out in post-production he trudges to the sink to wash the slimy mess off his hands.
“So, why exactly did you guys step in with the Colossus and Gaz Maybury?”
“Well there’s a couple reasons. Back when Dane was still around, he sicced Colossus and the Aurochs on us. Not sure whatever happened to the Aurochs. Gus Arnold and Jeff Andrews both agreed that the Syndicate was out of our league for the time being, then the Dark Stars started their crap, and well, Eric Dane lost a title and immediately quit, so so much for getting revenge on The Syndicate, right?”
“No, Jesse Jamester’s in charge of it now.” Jeffrey said without turning around, now scrubbing the skillet with a brick of steel wool. “Bro we’re out of eggs, you wanna just do a cheat meal and get some donuts?”
“Dude, if we’re gonna eat irresponsibly let’s just hit up Nero Waffles. Anyways, man, you know we grew up watching OLW and were fans of Gaz, and I mean, we weren’t watching live during IWA’s time but we went back and watched the glory days of the Beer Buddies, but saving Gaz was just the right thing to do man. Also, for the Colossus himself, we haven’t forgotten him powerbombing Jeffrey through the catering table.”
“All I wanted was some cheddar cuuuubes!” Jeffrey howled in fake histronics.
“Do you guys want to talk about your strategy for the upcoming match?”
“To be honest bro, we uh, don’t wanna give away anything, but I’ll throw you this one biscuit. Whether you’re talking about the sophisticated grappling arts or the flippity-doo, taking it seriously and gittin’ gud matters. We’re just gonna do what we do as best we can do it, y’know?”
“Last thing then, any final words?”
“Since ElVeeZee hasn’t said anything yet, none for him. As for Joseph Mack, hey man, we’re pro wrestlers, I get it, we’ll kick each other’s asses because that’s what pro wrestling freakin IS. I don’t want to go on a losing streak any more than you do though, and I got a full time tag partner I don’t want to take down with me.”
“And now, WAFFLES!” Jeffrey Daniels was happy again. “You wanna come with bromandude?”
And in Brent’s estimation, a 5 minute interview that resulted in free waffles was an excellent start to a day.