Joe Nobody’s Birthday and Backyard BBQ Bonanza (Delayed)
May 30, 2021 2:06:39 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Kira Izumi, and 2 more like this
Post by The Dunne Deal on May 30, 2021 2:06:39 GMT -5
LIVE!! From Bloomfield Hills, MI
Joe Nobody in association with The XHF Network presents:
Joe Nobody’s Birthday and Backyard BBQ Bonanza
We get a very scenic aerial view of the Nobody home from a helicopter, as it circles the property a few times before coming to land in the yard, right next to a massive in-ground pool. The crowd of people is a collection of family and friends. Random XHF Stars from all over the world, including Joe Nobody’s old Saga stablemates. NLW star Wellington Dunne chats with Nobody’s new tag team partner Andrew Daniels. As Johnny Sniper stands next to a very pregnant Gwen Holiday who’s trying her best to help Nobody’s wife Nicole serve drinks to guests, As Nobody’s daughter plays fetch with the family’s corgi Fish. As the rotors of the copter slowly wind down, the door of the of it opens up, and out steps Joe Nobody dressed in a brand new suit. He heads to ring set-up in the yard, handing off his Fedora to his little girl as she continues to play with Fish. Nobody enters the ring and announces to the crowd.
Nobody: “Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends, Family. I thank you all for taking a small bit of time out of your busy schedules to come and celebrate my 33rd birthday. Now while I hope all of you are enjoying the food and drinks, let’s not forget we are all here. The eight-man charity tournament. But before we can begin a few introductions are in order. First joining me at commentary. A former two-time PTSD Band of Brother Champion. “Mr. Never Done” from Edmonton, Alberta Canada. Rip D’Parte!!!
Rip stands up from behind a flooding table set up with a couple of microphones and waves to everyone.
Nobody: “Secondly a dear friend of mine, tonight Ring Announcer Clifford Crowe!”
Crowe takes the mic from Nobody who leaves the ring to take a seat next to Rip.
Nobody: “Rip, long time no see.”
Rip: “Far too long, Joe. So are any of the XHF scrubs any good?”
Nobody: “Well Rip, we’ll have to just wait and see.”
Crowe stands in the ring.
Crowe: “Ladies and Gentlemen. It is time for the first match in the tournament. The rules are simple, matches are won by pinfall, submission, or ref stoppage. And falls can happen anywhere on the facility, nothing is off-limits. And now for the first two participants.”
Crowe: “Introducing first, standing in at 5 feet 9 inches weighing in at 195 lbs. He is the current defending XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion. Fighting on behalf of The Trevor Project, hailing from Reading, Berkshire, England. BLOOOODIIIEEEEDDDD FOOOOOX!!!
BFG Division 2020 rips and tears through the speakers and Bloodied Fox makes his way out, the XHF Junior Heavyweight title around his waist and the Alepou Aegis on his right arm. The fans cheer as he walks down the ramp and slides into the ring, mounting the corner turnbuckles and unfastening the belt, raising it in salute in his left hand.
Nobody: “Fox has come a long way in his journey to discover who is his a person. The first-ever AWF Triple Crown champion is looking to prove that even at a charity event, he’s here to do one thing, and that is to win.”
Rip: “Exactly, Joe. And even though the XHF Junior Heavyweight is not on the line, a loss today could be disastrous.”
Crowe: "And his opponent, Fighting for The Planetary Society. Standing in at 5 feet, 2 inches weighing in at 110 lbs. From Hirosaki-Shi, Aomori Prefecture, Japan. The Kawaii Supernova. YUUUUKKKIIII SAAAKKKAAARRRRRAAABBAAAA!!!"
Burial Applicant by The GazattE begins to play as Fox awaits Yuki's arrival but after a full minute has passed, he shakes his head, full of disappointment. Fox grabs the XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship and leaves the ring. He walks by the table where Nobody and Rip sit.
Fox: "I'll take the check now, Joe since no one wants to show up."
Nobody: "Don't look at me, Fox. I have no idea where Yuki is?"
Fox begins to walk away, as Rip starts to frantically smack Nobody on the back.
Rip: "Joe! Joe! Joe! Look!"
The camera pans over to see Yuki standing on top of Nobody's garage.
Nobody: "The Kawaii Supernova is here, and she looks to comes down upon Fox like the asteroids from Final Impact."
Yuki leaps from the roof of the garage trying to catch Fox off guard with a Flying Crossbody. But Fox thinking quickly counters by blasting Yuki with the Junior Heavyweight Title in mid-air. The audible sound gains a collect groan from the audience as Yuki falls limp to the ground.
Nobody: "Yuki looked to take Fox by surprise, but it looks like Fox was a little quicker to react than she was expecting."
Rip: "Hey Yuki! You left your teeth on the other side of the yard!"
Yuki looks to be completely out, as she lays there on the pavement. The ref goes to check on her, and goes to through up the X signaling she cannot perform any longer, but as he does so Fox pushes the ref out of the way.
Nobody: "Oh! Come on! Fox you just killed the poor girl."
Rip: "I don't think he cares."
Fox covers Yuki and demands the ref count the pinfall. The begrudgingly obliges. As Fox covers Yuki with one hand on her chest. The ref begins the counts
One!
Two!
The...!
Somehow Yuki's left shoulder springs up. Fox sits up and scoots back on hands and knees at what just happen, completely taken by surprise.
Rip: "How in the hell?"
Nobody: "The Destiny Wrestling Shooting Star champ, still has some life yet."
Rip: "I can see that, but how? Even Fox is confused."
Somehow Yuki gets back to her feet to a roar of applause, however, the celebration is short-lived. Not even being able to take two steps forward. She collapses back into a sitting position leaning up against the garage. Her eyes completely glazed over. The ref calls for the bell.
Crowe: "Your winner by ref stoppage! BLOOOODDIIEEEDD FFOOOOOOXX!!"
Rip: "The first match ends with a ref stoppage. I mean it's just a charity event, but these people are serious."
Nobody sits there, completely lost in what just happened.
Rip: "Joe! Snap out of it!"
Nobody shakes his head.
Nobody: "Yeah! Yuki will be fine, I knew this was a possibility after make every match Falls Count Anywhere. And I made sure to EMTs on standby. We'll let them take care of Yuki, before going on to the next match."
EMTs arrive on the scene and place Yuki on a stretcher and remove her from the backyard. The camera catches her giving a thumbs up, showing she will make a fun recovery.
Nobody: "That thumbs up is a great sign. Now on to match number 2."