Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jun 4, 2021 19:28:39 GMT -5
*We open on a fine summer day as Lord Dominicus stands next to a tree. He has the NPW North American Double Crown Championship around his waist, and on his shoulder rests the NPW NA Cruiserweight Championship.*
LD: AH! What a fine day for EVIL!
*He sniffs the air.*
LD: Unfortunately, before I can return to frolicking in this orchard, as DARK LORDS are wont to do, I must address Jay Stevens, who thinks that good enough is….good enough. …Yes. BUT IT IS NOT, Jay Stevens! You see, much like me grabbing this delicious peach right here…
*Dominicus plucks the fruit from a low branch*
LD: …You went after some pretty low-hanging fruit. “Oh Lord Dominicus has had only a few title defenses in his incredibly long reign! Oh the great Lord Dominicus has bad luck at global events! Oh our AMAZINGLY EVIL MONARCH, Lord Dominicus, is sort of a weirdo!
*He takes a bite of the peach, then spits it out.*
LD: Is that the best you’ve got? Just like this low-hanging garbage, your quips about my career are garbage.
*The fruit is DominiTossed over his shoulder*
LD: You seem to think that if you just go in and punch your time card like you normally do that somehow I’m gonna come into the ring and lay down to that? Newsflash there Jay, this isn’t a normal match. This isn’t just you versus some guy I’ve never heard of tangling it up for ten minutes with nothing on the line.
*He slaps the Cruiserweight Championship on his shoulder.*
LD: There’s real stakes here! Look, I know that in NPW, the usual response to me winning another title is just to create more and that may give the impression that belts grow on trees. But they don’t! And even if they did…which would explain where Gus keeps finding them…They wouldn’t be just waiting to drop on your lazy head!
*Dominicus points to himself.*
LD: You wanna be the face of the Cruiserweight division- which is basically the face of the company? Then get on my level and actually fight for it! Look, I get it, you come in, you do your work, and then you go home. You’re treating wrestling like a nine-to-five, which is fine. It’s absolutely fine if you want to do that and never get anywhere.
*He gestures to the tree.*
LD: There are lots of minor and soon to rot fruit here close to the ground. Just wait for it to drop and casually stumble onto it- sort of like however you got this title shot. But don’t walk into the promo studio and cut some generic crap about how “Oh you said you did it, well I will next.” THAT’S NOT EVEN CLEVER! If you want to defeat me then you need to do more than the bare minimum!
*The Triple Crown Champion throws his arms up.*
LD: What were you even thinking? Look, in my first promo to you I called you a coward for not showing up to global events. I masked it somewhat but clearly anything that isn’t spoonfed to you goes to waste. Because your response was “oh but you lose in global shots.” WHO CARES!? How many X*Crown chances have you even had? How many teams have you been on to represent our company? How many times have you brought the NPW name over to another company to wave our flag? None?
*He leans in close to the camera.*
LD: I’m gonna tell you a secret Jay. If I never left NPW and only wrestled once a month or so, I’d probably have a better record too. But REAL leaders don’t just twiddle their thumbs at home and act like it means something. REAL leaders don’t say “well it’s quitting time, I guess I’ll go home for the day.” That’s fat-boy Alex Turner talk right there! Or worse, it’s Dane-ing it up! “Oh but I worked hard” you say- CLEARLY NOT AS HARD AS ME!
*Dominicus moves back again.*
LD: Do you want to forever be that guy with two first names that requires your opponents to check three times who you are before cutting a promo despite sharing the ring with you before? Because that’s the track you’re on right now. Even Eron Hunter got a hair cut before we went up against Lizard Man and Ethnic Criminal!
*He calms himself down.*
LD: Ok, breathe. Jay, I don’t want you to think I’m looking past you. I know you have talent and out there in the ring any match could be the one. But I will say I’m disappointed. This was supposed to be one of the biggest matches we’ve had in NPW yet and you decided to treat it like a normal day in the park.
*Forcefully, Lord Dominicus jams his thumb into his chest.*
LD: I AM THE TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION! I UNSEATED DANE! I USED MY DARK ENERGIES TO PURIFY THIS COMPANY OF THE SYNDICATE! I. Am. Not. A. Walk. In. The. Park! And the sooner you wake up to that the better a match you’ll put on for the fans!
*He shakes his head.*
LD: Maybe you’re just some muscle-headed fool and all of this is too hard for you to comprehend. Maybe the idea of something beyond your normal station is too much for you to figure out. Here’s a visual representation.
*Dominicus takes the Cruiserweight Championship off of his shoulder and holds it up to the camera.*
LD: You see this? This is your goal! This is the symbol of NPW’s finest athletes and what you’re fighting for on June 8th!
*He turns around and then hucks it up into the tree out of the camera’s vision. Then turns back.*
LD: GO GET IT!
*Fade out.*
LD: AH! What a fine day for EVIL!
*He sniffs the air.*
LD: Unfortunately, before I can return to frolicking in this orchard, as DARK LORDS are wont to do, I must address Jay Stevens, who thinks that good enough is….good enough. …Yes. BUT IT IS NOT, Jay Stevens! You see, much like me grabbing this delicious peach right here…
*Dominicus plucks the fruit from a low branch*
LD: …You went after some pretty low-hanging fruit. “Oh Lord Dominicus has had only a few title defenses in his incredibly long reign! Oh the great Lord Dominicus has bad luck at global events! Oh our AMAZINGLY EVIL MONARCH, Lord Dominicus, is sort of a weirdo!
*He takes a bite of the peach, then spits it out.*
LD: Is that the best you’ve got? Just like this low-hanging garbage, your quips about my career are garbage.
*The fruit is DominiTossed over his shoulder*
LD: You seem to think that if you just go in and punch your time card like you normally do that somehow I’m gonna come into the ring and lay down to that? Newsflash there Jay, this isn’t a normal match. This isn’t just you versus some guy I’ve never heard of tangling it up for ten minutes with nothing on the line.
*He slaps the Cruiserweight Championship on his shoulder.*
LD: There’s real stakes here! Look, I know that in NPW, the usual response to me winning another title is just to create more and that may give the impression that belts grow on trees. But they don’t! And even if they did…which would explain where Gus keeps finding them…They wouldn’t be just waiting to drop on your lazy head!
*Dominicus points to himself.*
LD: You wanna be the face of the Cruiserweight division- which is basically the face of the company? Then get on my level and actually fight for it! Look, I get it, you come in, you do your work, and then you go home. You’re treating wrestling like a nine-to-five, which is fine. It’s absolutely fine if you want to do that and never get anywhere.
*He gestures to the tree.*
LD: There are lots of minor and soon to rot fruit here close to the ground. Just wait for it to drop and casually stumble onto it- sort of like however you got this title shot. But don’t walk into the promo studio and cut some generic crap about how “Oh you said you did it, well I will next.” THAT’S NOT EVEN CLEVER! If you want to defeat me then you need to do more than the bare minimum!
*The Triple Crown Champion throws his arms up.*
LD: What were you even thinking? Look, in my first promo to you I called you a coward for not showing up to global events. I masked it somewhat but clearly anything that isn’t spoonfed to you goes to waste. Because your response was “oh but you lose in global shots.” WHO CARES!? How many X*Crown chances have you even had? How many teams have you been on to represent our company? How many times have you brought the NPW name over to another company to wave our flag? None?
*He leans in close to the camera.*
LD: I’m gonna tell you a secret Jay. If I never left NPW and only wrestled once a month or so, I’d probably have a better record too. But REAL leaders don’t just twiddle their thumbs at home and act like it means something. REAL leaders don’t say “well it’s quitting time, I guess I’ll go home for the day.” That’s fat-boy Alex Turner talk right there! Or worse, it’s Dane-ing it up! “Oh but I worked hard” you say- CLEARLY NOT AS HARD AS ME!
*Dominicus moves back again.*
LD: Do you want to forever be that guy with two first names that requires your opponents to check three times who you are before cutting a promo despite sharing the ring with you before? Because that’s the track you’re on right now. Even Eron Hunter got a hair cut before we went up against Lizard Man and Ethnic Criminal!
*He calms himself down.*
LD: Ok, breathe. Jay, I don’t want you to think I’m looking past you. I know you have talent and out there in the ring any match could be the one. But I will say I’m disappointed. This was supposed to be one of the biggest matches we’ve had in NPW yet and you decided to treat it like a normal day in the park.
*Forcefully, Lord Dominicus jams his thumb into his chest.*
LD: I AM THE TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION! I UNSEATED DANE! I USED MY DARK ENERGIES TO PURIFY THIS COMPANY OF THE SYNDICATE! I. Am. Not. A. Walk. In. The. Park! And the sooner you wake up to that the better a match you’ll put on for the fans!
*He shakes his head.*
LD: Maybe you’re just some muscle-headed fool and all of this is too hard for you to comprehend. Maybe the idea of something beyond your normal station is too much for you to figure out. Here’s a visual representation.
*Dominicus takes the Cruiserweight Championship off of his shoulder and holds it up to the camera.*
LD: You see this? This is your goal! This is the symbol of NPW’s finest athletes and what you’re fighting for on June 8th!
*He turns around and then hucks it up into the tree out of the camera’s vision. Then turns back.*
LD: GO GET IT!
*Fade out.*
