Post by Kris on Jun 9, 2021 19:11:12 GMT -5
"So many targets, so little time... am I right, or am I right? But where to begin--that is the question, now isn't it?"
Eli Dresden's smirk--y'ins know the one--is Vorpal-sharp right from the jump as she looks up at the camera of her cell phone same as always. This ought to be fun. And judging by the first target she hones in on, well... it was clear that she still feels some kind of way about what she has called Scientology Lite in the past.
"Don't you just love revisionist history? I didn't expect Hyperion to have any sense of reality, but even then... for you to say that I did nothing at Supremacy until the end of the match where I took your trident from you? Really, Hypey? Damn, Hypey--you shoulda' named yourself after an Egyptian god because all of your power is in denial. Not only did I take everything you and everyone else in that match had to throw at me, but I put you down, proving you are nothing but a squishy and idiotic mortal in the process. But you know what's sad?"
Eli scoffs, though there's a hint of bemusement to the sound.
"Somehow, the guy that thinks he's a literal god is not the most delusional person in BOTB. That distinction belongs to the Sultan of Snotbubbles, the King of Crybabies... Keith 'BAAAAAAAW!~' Williams. It's got to suck, knowing that the only way you're remotely interesting to anyone beyond your little buddies is when you're throwing a tantrum over losing. Otherwise, it's the same Edgelord 101 shit that stopped actually being edgy about twenty years ago. That wasn't a Brinks truck you heard there, Keith. That's the short bus waitin 'to take you back to presochool so you can get your nap."
A hand raises as if to pacify the opponent she is aiming at next, though to call it half-assed is an understatement.
"Don't worry, El Rey--I'm sure that if you whine to one of those preschool teachers, you won't have to share your cot with him. I know your entitled ass would have a fit if you had to share anything, much less somethin' like a piece of furniture. Considerin' how a piece of furniture is the only reason you beat Dylan Black, well... I guess you can't be blamed for bein' so attached since without it, you'd have nothing to be a smug little prick about. Makes me glad that there's nothin' like that from when I whupped your ass. Knowin' you, you'd turn it into a body pillow to cuddle at night or somethin' creepy like that."
She cringes a little at that mental image before moving on.
"I hope you don't draw Rey in the first round there, Isabel Rios--but then again, considerin' how you're fixated on who you're gonna fuck next instead of who you're gonna fight next, who knows? Maybe that's your thing. Considerin' what I find hot, I'm not in any room to judge on that front. What I will judge you for, though, is how your mind is centered wholly on the dick, and I don't mean just in your personal life. All your focus for Battle of the Best is on the men you might be facing, and if I've proven anything... it's that overlookin' me is a bad, bad idea."
Eli nods to affirm that point before a hand rises to cradle her chin, her head tilting to one side faintly as she ponders.
"Speakin' of overlookin'--where in the Hell is Malcolm Evans? Considerin' who his dad is, I half-expected him to have burned down someone's shed by now. Not that I know Kilroy personally--I just remember watchin' him on Hardkore World's shows, and the man was a few kegs shy of Oktoberfest. Maybe the apple fell that far from the tree? I dunno, I'm just not taking Malcolm's silence as a sign of weakness. I am disappointed, though, at not havin' the chance to meet that crazy sunovabitch. Imagine the chaos!".
A dreamy little smile at the mental image of said mayhem and foolishness... and then she presses onward, Eli's mind returning to the present.
"I also have no idea about Shizuku Yamamoto, either--Hell, I know less about her silent ass than I do Malcolm Evans. I know she's Japanese, obviously, and that she's so tiny she makes me seem like a giant... and that's about it. Gonna be interesting to see how I deal with being the one with the size advantage, I guess? Though I can't help but wonder if you'll actually step up or if you'll coast as you have in J-ROK."
Eli shrugs before her expression goes serious.
"And that leaves us with SexBot 9000--I mean Dylan fuckin' Black, a man who deserves a little repect on his name even if he's somethin' of a jackass. That's not an insult, by the way, since you're a jackass in the same kinda' way that I am, if perhaps less self-aware. You call me greedy like it's a bad thing, then turn around and talk about everything you want so badly that you need it? Come on, Dylan. Ambition is somethin that drives everyone in this tournament--Hell, in this business! And if you wanna shame me, you might wanna remember that I don't do shame. What I do, though, is kick ass and take names."
And there's that smirk coming back, sharper than ever.
"And as it turns out, between the XHF side of the tournament and FIRESIDE's own, that's fifteen names that are ripe for the takin'. I know I can't take'em all personally one by one, but takin' first place overall is just as good. This opportunity is mine for the taking, guys, gals, and non-binary pals--and if you think that I'm gonna settle for anything less than victory?"
That smirk drops... and in its place is the woman who has laid waste to damn near every opponent she has come across.
"Then you're sorely fucking mistaken."
Fade.
Eli Dresden's smirk--y'ins know the one--is Vorpal-sharp right from the jump as she looks up at the camera of her cell phone same as always. This ought to be fun. And judging by the first target she hones in on, well... it was clear that she still feels some kind of way about what she has called Scientology Lite in the past.
"Don't you just love revisionist history? I didn't expect Hyperion to have any sense of reality, but even then... for you to say that I did nothing at Supremacy until the end of the match where I took your trident from you? Really, Hypey? Damn, Hypey--you shoulda' named yourself after an Egyptian god because all of your power is in denial. Not only did I take everything you and everyone else in that match had to throw at me, but I put you down, proving you are nothing but a squishy and idiotic mortal in the process. But you know what's sad?"
Eli scoffs, though there's a hint of bemusement to the sound.
"Somehow, the guy that thinks he's a literal god is not the most delusional person in BOTB. That distinction belongs to the Sultan of Snotbubbles, the King of Crybabies... Keith 'BAAAAAAAW!~' Williams. It's got to suck, knowing that the only way you're remotely interesting to anyone beyond your little buddies is when you're throwing a tantrum over losing. Otherwise, it's the same Edgelord 101 shit that stopped actually being edgy about twenty years ago. That wasn't a Brinks truck you heard there, Keith. That's the short bus waitin 'to take you back to presochool so you can get your nap."
A hand raises as if to pacify the opponent she is aiming at next, though to call it half-assed is an understatement.
"Don't worry, El Rey--I'm sure that if you whine to one of those preschool teachers, you won't have to share your cot with him. I know your entitled ass would have a fit if you had to share anything, much less somethin' like a piece of furniture. Considerin' how a piece of furniture is the only reason you beat Dylan Black, well... I guess you can't be blamed for bein' so attached since without it, you'd have nothing to be a smug little prick about. Makes me glad that there's nothin' like that from when I whupped your ass. Knowin' you, you'd turn it into a body pillow to cuddle at night or somethin' creepy like that."
She cringes a little at that mental image before moving on.
"I hope you don't draw Rey in the first round there, Isabel Rios--but then again, considerin' how you're fixated on who you're gonna fuck next instead of who you're gonna fight next, who knows? Maybe that's your thing. Considerin' what I find hot, I'm not in any room to judge on that front. What I will judge you for, though, is how your mind is centered wholly on the dick, and I don't mean just in your personal life. All your focus for Battle of the Best is on the men you might be facing, and if I've proven anything... it's that overlookin' me is a bad, bad idea."
Eli nods to affirm that point before a hand rises to cradle her chin, her head tilting to one side faintly as she ponders.
"Speakin' of overlookin'--where in the Hell is Malcolm Evans? Considerin' who his dad is, I half-expected him to have burned down someone's shed by now. Not that I know Kilroy personally--I just remember watchin' him on Hardkore World's shows, and the man was a few kegs shy of Oktoberfest. Maybe the apple fell that far from the tree? I dunno, I'm just not taking Malcolm's silence as a sign of weakness. I am disappointed, though, at not havin' the chance to meet that crazy sunovabitch. Imagine the chaos!".
A dreamy little smile at the mental image of said mayhem and foolishness... and then she presses onward, Eli's mind returning to the present.
"I also have no idea about Shizuku Yamamoto, either--Hell, I know less about her silent ass than I do Malcolm Evans. I know she's Japanese, obviously, and that she's so tiny she makes me seem like a giant... and that's about it. Gonna be interesting to see how I deal with being the one with the size advantage, I guess? Though I can't help but wonder if you'll actually step up or if you'll coast as you have in J-ROK."
Eli shrugs before her expression goes serious.
"And that leaves us with SexBot 9000--I mean Dylan fuckin' Black, a man who deserves a little repect on his name even if he's somethin' of a jackass. That's not an insult, by the way, since you're a jackass in the same kinda' way that I am, if perhaps less self-aware. You call me greedy like it's a bad thing, then turn around and talk about everything you want so badly that you need it? Come on, Dylan. Ambition is somethin that drives everyone in this tournament--Hell, in this business! And if you wanna shame me, you might wanna remember that I don't do shame. What I do, though, is kick ass and take names."
And there's that smirk coming back, sharper than ever.
"And as it turns out, between the XHF side of the tournament and FIRESIDE's own, that's fifteen names that are ripe for the takin'. I know I can't take'em all personally one by one, but takin' first place overall is just as good. This opportunity is mine for the taking, guys, gals, and non-binary pals--and if you think that I'm gonna settle for anything less than victory?"
That smirk drops... and in its place is the woman who has laid waste to damn near every opponent she has come across.
"Then you're sorely fucking mistaken."
Fade.