A Clown A Donzig and the New Guy Walk Into a Bar(Shockwave)
Jun 28, 2021 19:30:42 GMT -5
Roy "The Sorrow" Harlowe (NJC) and Oh-Oh like this
Post by freakke on Jun 28, 2021 19:30:42 GMT -5
Mina is in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when Freakke comes in through the garage door. He looks awfully grumpy for someone in a super bedazzled and tassley mariachi outfit. The Carnival King’s manager doesn’t even bat an eye.
“So...I take it they didn’t go for it.”
“Kinda. Donzig thought I meant the Three Musketeers and dressed as Porthos which is a great fit for him and I wish I had thought of it.”
“What about Takaru?”
“We didn’t really talk yet. I don’t know if he’s shy or thinks I’m crazy or if its just a language barrier or the fact that I think he was wearing ear buds but we had no dialogue.”
“That’s a shame. Did you get any good footage?”
“No and I even dug my Three Amigos outfit out. Like, I don’t invite Chevy Chase jokes every day but it just didn’t work out this time. Although maybe if Tak would have put on a Moe Howard. Yeah. Then it would have been a three piece made up of pieces of other three pieces. That would have been great.”
Crunch crunch crunch.
“Is that the last of the Captain Crunch?”
Mina looked at her bowl then started to drink the milk. Freckle realizing she had the last of the cereal tried to give chase but she made a clean get away into the living room.
---
Freakke is sitting in a nice armchair in front of a green screened study. There’s no way in hell as hot as it is he’d have an actual fire going in the fireplace.
“Hello my dear cretins. We’re here to talk to you about your wrestler’s extended warranty. I take naps. Get over it. I apologize for falling asleep during our last talk. That was the wrong video. Gotta say I’m disappointed in our editor. We shouldn’t have that problem again.”
He makes a face as if to imply eesh.
“But anyhow, Donzig and I are happy to announce we’ve got a guy joining us from Japan. TAKAMURA MATSUI! YES! Those guys overseas are nuts and I love it. I am so excited. It’s been years since this clown has been part of more than a tag team and I am just here for it. Good wrestling gods be kind its a hell of a team we’ve got too. Donzig and I have been tearing it up and now we’ve got us a third to make this a menage a trois of over the top wrestling fanatics.”
He gave the camera a devilish grin.
“We’ve got the power, the guts, the drive, and unwillingness to admit when we’re wrong that only champions can bring to the world. Nothing can stop...shit...ahh crap we can’t call ourselves Donkke anymore but...uhhh, something something...hold on.”
Freakke takes out his phone and dials something up. After a brief moment…
“Yeah. Hey Donzig...uh huh. Yeah. Right. No no, I getcha. I think I’m ordering food for about three hours before the match. I was thinking Chicken Parm. Yeah yeah. Just send me a message about it. Have Tak do it too. Speaking of, that's why I called. What the hell are we calling our team now? I mean we have the three of us now. I know we never made Donkke official but it's what they call us online...uh huh. Yeah like the animal. No, the Three Amigos is trademarked. Yeah that was the movie with Chevy Chase. Yeah that’s where that costume came from...ok, I’ll BS it for right now. In the middle of my promo. Gotcha. Peace.”
He tosses the phone behind him and smiles.
“Well, lets just go with the Good, the Bad, and the Freakke-y So the three of us are going to be going against the freaking KGB?!?”
He’s clearly reading a card. His eyes looking between the camera and the card.
“When did Putin start a stable? Listen, I’m not going back to the Gulags. I DID MY TIME BACK WHEN BLACK OPS WAS RELEASED ON THE PS3! STEP 8 REZNOV!”
There is an obvious cut in the video as Freakke has been placed in a straight jacket with a tv showing numbers opposite him and his hair.
“So yeah, the KGB. Some guys who have a scary name but lets be really honest, we’ve all seen Donzig eat. I will never fear another man so long as I live. I don’t care how much Russian bullshit ya go backing you. Nope. Nuh uh. No sir. Not even if Putin rides a bear down the ring like your own personal manager. Hell no.”
He shugs.
“This Shockwave, the first of our Trios Semi Finals Matches, my dear Cretins we will bring a six man cyclone of kickass. Don’t miss it.”
“So...I take it they didn’t go for it.”
“Kinda. Donzig thought I meant the Three Musketeers and dressed as Porthos which is a great fit for him and I wish I had thought of it.”
“What about Takaru?”
“We didn’t really talk yet. I don’t know if he’s shy or thinks I’m crazy or if its just a language barrier or the fact that I think he was wearing ear buds but we had no dialogue.”
“That’s a shame. Did you get any good footage?”
“No and I even dug my Three Amigos outfit out. Like, I don’t invite Chevy Chase jokes every day but it just didn’t work out this time. Although maybe if Tak would have put on a Moe Howard. Yeah. Then it would have been a three piece made up of pieces of other three pieces. That would have been great.”
Crunch crunch crunch.
“Is that the last of the Captain Crunch?”
Mina looked at her bowl then started to drink the milk. Freckle realizing she had the last of the cereal tried to give chase but she made a clean get away into the living room.
---
Freakke is sitting in a nice armchair in front of a green screened study. There’s no way in hell as hot as it is he’d have an actual fire going in the fireplace.
“Hello my dear cretins. We’re here to talk to you about your wrestler’s extended warranty. I take naps. Get over it. I apologize for falling asleep during our last talk. That was the wrong video. Gotta say I’m disappointed in our editor. We shouldn’t have that problem again.”
He makes a face as if to imply eesh.
“But anyhow, Donzig and I are happy to announce we’ve got a guy joining us from Japan. TAKAMURA MATSUI! YES! Those guys overseas are nuts and I love it. I am so excited. It’s been years since this clown has been part of more than a tag team and I am just here for it. Good wrestling gods be kind its a hell of a team we’ve got too. Donzig and I have been tearing it up and now we’ve got us a third to make this a menage a trois of over the top wrestling fanatics.”
He gave the camera a devilish grin.
“We’ve got the power, the guts, the drive, and unwillingness to admit when we’re wrong that only champions can bring to the world. Nothing can stop...shit...ahh crap we can’t call ourselves Donkke anymore but...uhhh, something something...hold on.”
Freakke takes out his phone and dials something up. After a brief moment…
“Yeah. Hey Donzig...uh huh. Yeah. Right. No no, I getcha. I think I’m ordering food for about three hours before the match. I was thinking Chicken Parm. Yeah yeah. Just send me a message about it. Have Tak do it too. Speaking of, that's why I called. What the hell are we calling our team now? I mean we have the three of us now. I know we never made Donkke official but it's what they call us online...uh huh. Yeah like the animal. No, the Three Amigos is trademarked. Yeah that was the movie with Chevy Chase. Yeah that’s where that costume came from...ok, I’ll BS it for right now. In the middle of my promo. Gotcha. Peace.”
He tosses the phone behind him and smiles.
“Well, lets just go with the Good, the Bad, and the Freakke-y So the three of us are going to be going against the freaking KGB?!?”
He’s clearly reading a card. His eyes looking between the camera and the card.
“When did Putin start a stable? Listen, I’m not going back to the Gulags. I DID MY TIME BACK WHEN BLACK OPS WAS RELEASED ON THE PS3! STEP 8 REZNOV!”
There is an obvious cut in the video as Freakke has been placed in a straight jacket with a tv showing numbers opposite him and his hair.
“So yeah, the KGB. Some guys who have a scary name but lets be really honest, we’ve all seen Donzig eat. I will never fear another man so long as I live. I don’t care how much Russian bullshit ya go backing you. Nope. Nuh uh. No sir. Not even if Putin rides a bear down the ring like your own personal manager. Hell no.”
He shugs.
“This Shockwave, the first of our Trios Semi Finals Matches, my dear Cretins we will bring a six man cyclone of kickass. Don’t miss it.”