United States of Merric [Aiden COTI RP]
Jun 30, 2021 10:15:33 GMT -5
Hyperion, Kris, and 1 more like this
Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jun 30, 2021 10:15:33 GMT -5
TIMECARD: June 25, 2021 - 11:57PM
*We find ourselves in a familiar setting. We stand in front of the gates to the Eastern State Penitentiary. Philadelphia. Where Aiden Merric begins his conquest in a few days on his way to the X*Crown, to shove it in all the doubters’ faces. As the camera pans back we find ourhero … um … protagonist … standing in front of the open door. He has his XHF branded proton pack from Call to Arms strapped to his back. In his hands is a VB. In his other hand is the blaster of the proton pack. Next to him in a full on hazmat suit is a tubby short shape.*
Tucker: *muffled* What in the queen’s name are we still doing ‘ere Aiden?
Merric: I would think that it was obvious, Tuck.
Tucker: …Were it obvious, I would not be asking ya the bloody question, ya daft prick.
Merric: I didn’t hold up my end of the deal, Tuck. I was contracted to win the event for AWF. I promised to take that little country lady to the top with me. And all I got was embarrassed. All I have to remember it by is the pain in my arsehole.
*Tucker chortles in his suit. He holds up a device in his hands.*
Tucker: Right, so why are we back, and what is this bloody thing?
Merric: That, my dear Bernard, is a trap. I went back and watched all the documentaries on hauntings in the States. I watched the historical records.
Tucker: BILL MURRAY IS NOT A REAL GHOSTBUSTER! T’AIN’T REAL YA-
Merric: QUIET! You will not sully the name of the Venkman!
*Tucker shakes his head, making a squeaky noise as the suit rubs on itself. The two men trudge into the door and talk as they walk, the whole time aiming their blasters around while looking for something.*
Tucker: IS this really the best use of our time? Don’t you have two big matches to prepare for?
Merric: Ah but Tuck that is part of why we’re here. I need to send a consolation gift to Miss Gordon. I am going to be taking her beloved United States title and I rightly feel cut up about it. So I am here to get her a gift. It’s not going to be a GOOD gift after that phone stunt.
*More chuckles. This time we hear a chuckle from behind them*
GHOST: Yeah that was fun.
*The two burly men whip around. Tucker does his best not to Scooby Doo run out of there on the spot. Aiden just smirks. He steps up to the ghost.*
Merric: Liked that didja? Tell me specter, how do you feel about this place? Any real attachments?
GHOST: I mean, I am bound here by my spirit being unable to rest. And this is where I died. Did you even research how ghosts work.
Merric: I’m still convinced y’all don’t even exist and this is a hologram paid for by that fat bastard Mongo the Destroyer.
GHOST: How does that work?
Tucker: It is wise not to try and think of the methods of the mad Mongo.
Merric: BOLLOCKS!
GHOST: That is incredibly unsatisfying…
Merric: What matters is I am here to free you from this Earthly hell you currently occupy my dear friend.
*The ghost clicks his ethereal tongue. He is deeply skeptical*
GHOST: I am not ready to rest! What can you do to calm my wayward spirit?
Merric: Calm it? Pfft. Nah, I’m just rehoming you to a better location. Like a stray cat.
GHOST: Wait, what?
*Aiden whips the blaster out and starts irradiating the ghost with 1.21 Gigawatts (he doesn’t know his references) of power.*
GHOST: OH GOSH IT’S LIKE FIRE ANTS IN MY SOUL!
Merric: HELL OF A FINALE FOR THE AWF VIDEO SECTION YA ARE SPECTRE!
GHOST: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
Merric: Tuck, the trap!
*Tucker scrambles and lays the trap down at the ghost’s feet. He pressed the button and it opens. The ghost wails as Aiden uses the proton beam to direct him into the box. The ghost vanishes into the box and it snaps shut, a green light illuminates on it.*
Tucker: I can’t believe that bloody worked.
Merric: I never leave a hunt unfinished my boy.
TIMECARD: June 26, 2021 – 5PM
Merric: Erin Gordon. Not gonna lie, I’m looking forward to seeing what you got Sheila. You impressed me in the last few weeks. Contorting that Granger bitty into a pretzel, reasoning with the undead, putting one over on me. You got spunk for days. And I like that. Being honest, yer the only one on the roster I actually respect. And that is why this is so momentous.
*Aiden is standing in his hunter lodge as it races up the highway to Ohio for the AWF July 4th Clash of the Icons Finale.*
Merric: For the first time ever, this is not a match to prove me-self. This is not a contract. This is not for a pay day – well, it is, but IN ADDITION TO THAT!
*He holds up a finger in the sky as if making a valid point. He isn’t.*
Merric: This is the match that I needed to happen. A match I want to experience. In all its glory, for better or worse. I want to see what you can bring to the party. I want to test my mettle against you. And I want to know if you are the feisty she-wolf I think ya are. That said, just because I aims to have some fun with this match. Don’t be thinking that I ain’t gonna beat you senseless.
Tucker: It’s all he’s been talking about.
Merric: That’s fair dinkum. I’m excited. I’m thrilled. And because you have been the first to give me this gift, it’s only fair I return the favor. I will give you everything I can. All I have learned over my days at AWF. In preparation for bringing the X*Crown to … well, wherever I end up … I will bring you the X*Crown level of competition.
*Aiden turns his head to the table where he has two boxes. One is VERY long, the other is very square. Into the first box he loads up a discolored cell phone.*
Tucker: I apologize Erin. I tried to talk him out of this.
Merric: Shut it Bernard. This is the phone ya had me smuggle in. And that the damn XHF made me smuggle OUT … and I was out of fake skin … But it’s rightfully yers. And I ain’t a lowly thief. I may have some criminal in me, but I ain’t a petty robber. And I ain’t gonna take a device from a single mother. So consider this me returning yer property … with a gift of my own.
*He snickers as he places the trap from earlier in the box. He then rigs the box so when the package is opened, the trap will release its unwitting occupant. He then places a quick and dirty gift wrap around the package, puts a bow on top and labels it to Erin. He then shoves it out of the way and places a large boomerang on the table. Like a real one, the ones the Aussies of old may have actually used for hunting. It actually looks like the one he threw at Subject #42 at Fired Up last year …*
Merric: But what kind of representative of ‘Merric-uh would I be if I didn’t think of the children? This here is a real expensive piece of my arsenal. It’s treated me well. And it will serve your kid well. He needs to learn to defend himself like a real Aussie man would! He needs to advance from being American and become a Merric-can!
Tucker: You have no idea how corny that sounds.
*Aiden shrugs.*
Merric: When I hold that title, trust me it’ll stick. The United States of Merric baby. Has a ring to it. But back on topic!
*He signs his name on the boomerang. He then writes a note: instructions on proper technique and how to use it. He stashes the note and the signed weapon into the long box, and wraps it. He quickly jots down – For Benson.*
Tucker: We’ll put a rush on it Erin, should get to ya by Wednesday morning the 30th.
*Aiden sits in his lounge chair under his trophy of Tarrasque’s side burns.*
Merric: Let me just say one last thing for my last appearance before the final show. I appreciate what the AWF did fer me. I’m a bad man, but I ain’t heartless. I aims to take this title home and represent the AWF with aplomb in the future. Where that’ll be? Well, spoilers. But you can rest assured, Aiden A-Merric-a Always has a plan.
*Tucker groans as we see the lodge pulling into the parking lot of a large post office.*
Merric: AWF, ya did me right. And I gotta respect that. Many people would look at me and just see a stereotype. A crude caricature of a man, who is here just to pop the fans and offend the sensibilities. But I am so much more. I am a man with ambition. I am a man with wants and needs. I am a citizen of this world the same as all of you. If my mannerisms aren’t what you thought you’d see? Tough titties. Man up and learn that people have depth. People have substance. We can be more than you think in your tiny little closed minds. It started day one. Anthony Caffrey saw me as a pathetic excuse of a fighter. Someone not to be worried about. A bump on the road. And I beat his brains in until he finally respected me enough to put me away.
*He kicks his legs onto the table and folds his arms in disgust*
Tucker: Not sure he REALLY learned the lesson Aiden, he still says some shit about’cha.
Merric: Let’im! I ain’t here to entertain sycophants and psychopaths. I’m here to win matches, make a living, and have a damn rip snorting bonzer time while doing it. And that goes one more time. So many people must look at you, Erin, and see a single mother just fighting fer her offspring. But you are a talented wrestler. And a prize worthy of my hunting. And when I finally put you down, I know it’s gonna be hard earned. I know we are both gonna walk out with our heads held high having torn the building down. I’ve seen the glimmer in yer eyes. I know you are serious. I know what you are capable of. And I think you may be the one person who understands what I am capable of.
*He swings his feet to the ground.*
Merric: But know this, AWF.
*He leans into the camera and grins that broken smile. Spittle flying at the lens*
Merric: You will end your days in the new age of the United States of Merric. And when I represent you all at Overheated and Night of Champions? I expect you to pledge allegiance.
*He grabs the boxes and rises to go mail them out*
Merric: As fer Miss Gordon? Well I’ll see ya at my coronation. But if’n ya feel grateful fer the gifts? Give us a call love. Bahahahaha! Good luck! We both gonna need it!
*Fade*
*We find ourselves in a familiar setting. We stand in front of the gates to the Eastern State Penitentiary. Philadelphia. Where Aiden Merric begins his conquest in a few days on his way to the X*Crown, to shove it in all the doubters’ faces. As the camera pans back we find our
Tucker: *muffled* What in the queen’s name are we still doing ‘ere Aiden?
Merric: I would think that it was obvious, Tuck.
Tucker: …Were it obvious, I would not be asking ya the bloody question, ya daft prick.
Merric: I didn’t hold up my end of the deal, Tuck. I was contracted to win the event for AWF. I promised to take that little country lady to the top with me. And all I got was embarrassed. All I have to remember it by is the pain in my arsehole.
*Tucker chortles in his suit. He holds up a device in his hands.*
Tucker: Right, so why are we back, and what is this bloody thing?
Merric: That, my dear Bernard, is a trap. I went back and watched all the documentaries on hauntings in the States. I watched the historical records.
Tucker: BILL MURRAY IS NOT A REAL GHOSTBUSTER! T’AIN’T REAL YA-
Merric: QUIET! You will not sully the name of the Venkman!
*Tucker shakes his head, making a squeaky noise as the suit rubs on itself. The two men trudge into the door and talk as they walk, the whole time aiming their blasters around while looking for something.*
Tucker: IS this really the best use of our time? Don’t you have two big matches to prepare for?
Merric: Ah but Tuck that is part of why we’re here. I need to send a consolation gift to Miss Gordon. I am going to be taking her beloved United States title and I rightly feel cut up about it. So I am here to get her a gift. It’s not going to be a GOOD gift after that phone stunt.
*More chuckles. This time we hear a chuckle from behind them*
GHOST: Yeah that was fun.
*The two burly men whip around. Tucker does his best not to Scooby Doo run out of there on the spot. Aiden just smirks. He steps up to the ghost.*
Merric: Liked that didja? Tell me specter, how do you feel about this place? Any real attachments?
GHOST: I mean, I am bound here by my spirit being unable to rest. And this is where I died. Did you even research how ghosts work.
Merric: I’m still convinced y’all don’t even exist and this is a hologram paid for by that fat bastard Mongo the Destroyer.
GHOST: How does that work?
Tucker: It is wise not to try and think of the methods of the mad Mongo.
Merric: BOLLOCKS!
GHOST: That is incredibly unsatisfying…
Merric: What matters is I am here to free you from this Earthly hell you currently occupy my dear friend.
*The ghost clicks his ethereal tongue. He is deeply skeptical*
GHOST: I am not ready to rest! What can you do to calm my wayward spirit?
Merric: Calm it? Pfft. Nah, I’m just rehoming you to a better location. Like a stray cat.
GHOST: Wait, what?
*Aiden whips the blaster out and starts irradiating the ghost with 1.21 Gigawatts (he doesn’t know his references) of power.*
GHOST: OH GOSH IT’S LIKE FIRE ANTS IN MY SOUL!
Merric: HELL OF A FINALE FOR THE AWF VIDEO SECTION YA ARE SPECTRE!
GHOST: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
Merric: Tuck, the trap!
*Tucker scrambles and lays the trap down at the ghost’s feet. He pressed the button and it opens. The ghost wails as Aiden uses the proton beam to direct him into the box. The ghost vanishes into the box and it snaps shut, a green light illuminates on it.*
Tucker: I can’t believe that bloody worked.
Merric: I never leave a hunt unfinished my boy.
TIMECARD: June 26, 2021 – 5PM
Merric: Erin Gordon. Not gonna lie, I’m looking forward to seeing what you got Sheila. You impressed me in the last few weeks. Contorting that Granger bitty into a pretzel, reasoning with the undead, putting one over on me. You got spunk for days. And I like that. Being honest, yer the only one on the roster I actually respect. And that is why this is so momentous.
*Aiden is standing in his hunter lodge as it races up the highway to Ohio for the AWF July 4th Clash of the Icons Finale.*
Merric: For the first time ever, this is not a match to prove me-self. This is not a contract. This is not for a pay day – well, it is, but IN ADDITION TO THAT!
*He holds up a finger in the sky as if making a valid point. He isn’t.*
Merric: This is the match that I needed to happen. A match I want to experience. In all its glory, for better or worse. I want to see what you can bring to the party. I want to test my mettle against you. And I want to know if you are the feisty she-wolf I think ya are. That said, just because I aims to have some fun with this match. Don’t be thinking that I ain’t gonna beat you senseless.
Tucker: It’s all he’s been talking about.
Merric: That’s fair dinkum. I’m excited. I’m thrilled. And because you have been the first to give me this gift, it’s only fair I return the favor. I will give you everything I can. All I have learned over my days at AWF. In preparation for bringing the X*Crown to … well, wherever I end up … I will bring you the X*Crown level of competition.
*Aiden turns his head to the table where he has two boxes. One is VERY long, the other is very square. Into the first box he loads up a discolored cell phone.*
Tucker: I apologize Erin. I tried to talk him out of this.
Merric: Shut it Bernard. This is the phone ya had me smuggle in. And that the damn XHF made me smuggle OUT … and I was out of fake skin … But it’s rightfully yers. And I ain’t a lowly thief. I may have some criminal in me, but I ain’t a petty robber. And I ain’t gonna take a device from a single mother. So consider this me returning yer property … with a gift of my own.
*He snickers as he places the trap from earlier in the box. He then rigs the box so when the package is opened, the trap will release its unwitting occupant. He then places a quick and dirty gift wrap around the package, puts a bow on top and labels it to Erin. He then shoves it out of the way and places a large boomerang on the table. Like a real one, the ones the Aussies of old may have actually used for hunting. It actually looks like the one he threw at Subject #42 at Fired Up last year …*
Merric: But what kind of representative of ‘Merric-uh would I be if I didn’t think of the children? This here is a real expensive piece of my arsenal. It’s treated me well. And it will serve your kid well. He needs to learn to defend himself like a real Aussie man would! He needs to advance from being American and become a Merric-can!
Tucker: You have no idea how corny that sounds.
*Aiden shrugs.*
Merric: When I hold that title, trust me it’ll stick. The United States of Merric baby. Has a ring to it. But back on topic!
*He signs his name on the boomerang. He then writes a note: instructions on proper technique and how to use it. He stashes the note and the signed weapon into the long box, and wraps it. He quickly jots down – For Benson.*
Tucker: We’ll put a rush on it Erin, should get to ya by Wednesday morning the 30th.
*Aiden sits in his lounge chair under his trophy of Tarrasque’s side burns.*
Merric: Let me just say one last thing for my last appearance before the final show. I appreciate what the AWF did fer me. I’m a bad man, but I ain’t heartless. I aims to take this title home and represent the AWF with aplomb in the future. Where that’ll be? Well, spoilers. But you can rest assured, Aiden A-Merric-a Always has a plan.
*Tucker groans as we see the lodge pulling into the parking lot of a large post office.*
Merric: AWF, ya did me right. And I gotta respect that. Many people would look at me and just see a stereotype. A crude caricature of a man, who is here just to pop the fans and offend the sensibilities. But I am so much more. I am a man with ambition. I am a man with wants and needs. I am a citizen of this world the same as all of you. If my mannerisms aren’t what you thought you’d see? Tough titties. Man up and learn that people have depth. People have substance. We can be more than you think in your tiny little closed minds. It started day one. Anthony Caffrey saw me as a pathetic excuse of a fighter. Someone not to be worried about. A bump on the road. And I beat his brains in until he finally respected me enough to put me away.
*He kicks his legs onto the table and folds his arms in disgust*
Tucker: Not sure he REALLY learned the lesson Aiden, he still says some shit about’cha.
Merric: Let’im! I ain’t here to entertain sycophants and psychopaths. I’m here to win matches, make a living, and have a damn rip snorting bonzer time while doing it. And that goes one more time. So many people must look at you, Erin, and see a single mother just fighting fer her offspring. But you are a talented wrestler. And a prize worthy of my hunting. And when I finally put you down, I know it’s gonna be hard earned. I know we are both gonna walk out with our heads held high having torn the building down. I’ve seen the glimmer in yer eyes. I know you are serious. I know what you are capable of. And I think you may be the one person who understands what I am capable of.
*He swings his feet to the ground.*
Merric: But know this, AWF.
*He leans into the camera and grins that broken smile. Spittle flying at the lens*
Merric: You will end your days in the new age of the United States of Merric. And when I represent you all at Overheated and Night of Champions? I expect you to pledge allegiance.
*He grabs the boxes and rises to go mail them out*
Merric: As fer Miss Gordon? Well I’ll see ya at my coronation. But if’n ya feel grateful fer the gifts? Give us a call love. Bahahahaha! Good luck! We both gonna need it!
*Fade*
